Kathy L. Salt's Blog, page 6

O is for Online No More (not really) and an announcement

December was a very difficult month for me in spite of a little lovely trip. I had a medical procedure, reacted badly to medicine and spent the time between December 26th and January 5th in a sad fog. I’m okay, I am but there isn’t as much of me as there was before the holidays. I’m going to take it a bit easier now. Probably won’t be online as much on social media. I might still update my blog. I will definitely still write.

I actually sent “A Tale of Spiders and Canned Soup” to my publisher just before 2018 ended! I’ll make a proper announcement soon, with blurb, a teaser and eventually cover art in future posts.

Happy New Year everyone!

N is for NaNoWriMo

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I know that I’m really on the letter M but since my dog Sheeba fell into eternal sleep on Sunday, the only M I can think of is mourning. I need a distraction and what better distraction is there than NaNoWriMo!

NaNoWriMo for those who don’t know is a challenge to write 50 000 words in a month, basically write a whole novel give or take. You can learn more about the challenge here, however I’m in no way affiliated with that website. In fact I don’t even have an account there. I’m just doing this in my own little bubble.

So what does this mean?

It means I’ll try to post the word count of the day on my twitter.

It means I’ll use this challenge to write every day which I usually don’t do during working weeks.

The last time I did this challenge was back in 2012 or something silly like that so it’s very overdue.

It would be kind of nice to finish another novel before 2018 too and if I do this and manage, I would be so proud of myself.

I’ve already written about 4000 words on the project, these words will not be counted towards the challenge.

A piece of advice to myself:

If I write around 1600-1700 words per day I will meet the goal. Just under 2k words isn’t a problem. On those days when I feel like writing more, I will. I doubt I’ll write every day for 30 days so it’s good to build up a buffer on the days I can.

Anybody else doing the challenge?

L is for Life

I started writing this post when the vet called. My littlest but oldest dog is in the hospital. He has been for a couple of days now. He is just deteriorating. Not eating or drinking. We can’t really tell what’s wrong. A bug? The little tumor he has on his gallbladder? The medicine for dementia he was prescribed a couple of weeks ago?

It feels wrong that he is there. Little Sheeba. Deaf and probably confused. He should be in my arms.

The vet says they’re giving him 24 hours but after that they’re giving up. He is old and thin, it’s cruel to just let him suffer.

How does one deal with the death of a pet? I have had it happened before but it’s such a shock. I don’t know what to do now. We got him when I was 16, he has been a part of my life for so long.

I hate the thought of him being somewhere I can’t get to. Where he can’t get to me. To us.

Maybe he will miraculously get better and come home tomorrow. Stranger things have happened right? Right?

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Kerosene and a Spark (lesbian romance)

A.N: This is not “enemies to lovers”, but more “lovers to enemies”. Also NSFW and all that.  After writing the blog post yesterday I sat down to write non-stop. This is the result.

Ela loved power. She always had and probably always would. Her title, queen, was more than just a nickname since her dad dying. She had a proper throne now and the sentences she gave out stuck. Her word was law. However, this was not what she had wanted. The sword in her hand. The neck in front of her.

Kero’s neck.

It didn’t seem so long ago that Ela had pressed her teeth into that soft skin. Bit it. Not gently. It didn’t matter. Kero had always made her pay afterwards. Their trysts more battle than love-making. But Ela had never wanted to kill her. This was not what their dalliance was supposed to lead to. This was wrong.

“You might as well kill me.” Kero’s voice was husky as always, just the sound of it made Ela’s insides twist. Stupid woman, she thought, if Kero just could have been normal… Like everyone else. Or if she could have just not been a criminal. That would have been helpful. “Just do it. What are you, a chicken?”

“You dare to judge me?” Despite her harsh words, Ela kept her tone soft. “You want to die?”

Kero looked up. Their gazes met. Her eyes weren’t like Ela remembered them. A few months in the castle dungeon had removed the spark that had once been there. The gold was gone, only honey remained. “I have accepted my punishment. I am ready for this to end.”  

It will never end. She had to remind herself not to burst into tears, that there were important people watching. How could she explain to Kero that she couldn’t kill her? That it wasn’t just about sex. That it wasn’t just about Ela’s own feelings. She couldn’t kill Kero because Kero didn’t deserve it. Because in spite of running an underground network in Ela’s own capital, Kero was a good person.

“You’re free.” She said through gritted teeth. “Free to leave the Abeesh kingdom.” Free to leave me. “No longer bound to your service to the crown.” No longer bound to me. She widened her eyes, willing the tears that lingered there to dry.

“It can’t be that easy.”

You call this easy? Ela couldn’t believe Kero’s words. Maybe she really was more fool than queen; was she the only one being torn asunder inside?

She nodded to her right hand who went and unlocked Kero’s chains. They fell to the stone floor with a loud bang.

Without the weight bearing her down, Kero could stretch out; when she stood upright, she was almost as tall as Ela, even with the latter standing on a plateau.

“I never lied to you.”

What? What was Kero saying?

“I didn’t lie about anything.” There was a softness in her eyes that seemed to reach all the way into Ela’s heart.

Ela shook her head. “There is something called lying by omission.” Her words were said through gritted teeth. She was doing everything in her power to not slap her. She wanted to grab a fistful of short dark hair and yank her forward. Sink her teeth into Kero’s cheek. Leave her mark just below Kero’s eye. Hurt her in the best of ways.

“Leave.” She turned around, not bearing to see her go. She knew she had to leave. She knew she was going to cry. “Guards. Help her reach our borders safely.”

 

* * *

 

She thought she had seen the last of me. Kero felt like laughing when she sat astride on one of the beams near the ceiling, waiting for her prey. Her prey, of course, being the Queen of the Abeesh. Pfft, queen. Kero sneered. A part of her loved Ela, yes, but she didn’t deserve the word queen. No one in her family did.

  Speak of the devil. Ela entered the bedchamber, her fair curls bouncing with every step she took. She really did looked like an overgrown child in that pink dress. Kero couldn’t tell what it was about her that she found so appealing. Why she was still dying for one of Ela’s kisses.

 Ela sat down by her vanity and started brushing her hair.

 “What’s wrong with you?” She asked her reflection out loud.

 No time like the present. Kero flung her leg around the beam and landed behind her.

“I believe I can answer that for you.”

Ela stared at her through the reflection. She looked terrified. Good.

“Where did you come from?” Her bottom lip quivered and Kero could see Ela’s fingers curling around the fabric on the vanity. Kero hoped that Ela hadn’t stashed a weapon there, but if she had, so be it. Kero had come prepared for a fight.

“The country isn’t yours, my queen.” Kero smirked. “It belongs to the people and they aren’t yours either.”

“They are yours then?” Ela turned around and stood up so violently that Kero took a step backwards. “Why do you look so smug?” The usual fire was back in Ela’s voice. “I knew you couldn’t stay away.” She put her hands on her waist and stared Kero down.

“I can’t stand the sight of you.” It was the truth although Kero had to admit it was more than that. She hated Ela. She did. She also craved her like oxygen. Sometimes life was cruel like that.

Ela said something else but Kero couldn’t hear it. There was a buzzing in her head, blood rushing through ears. Her hands started trembling. Kero might have hated Ela. She might have hated every single emotion that Ela gave her. But she hungered for the woman in front of her.

The kiss was forceful and seemed to surprise them both. Kero didn’t know who initiated it but since Ela’s back was pressed against the vanity, it must have been herself.

Ela’s nails scratched her scalp and her teeth cut into her tongue and Kero wanted more. It would never be enough. She ran her hands down Ela’s waist and pulled at the fabric there. If this was the last night before they both died, they needed to be naked.

Without a warning, Ela pushed upwards and kneed Kero in the groin. She wasn’t a man but it still made her groan and take a step backwards.

“Why did you do that?”

Ela’s chest was heaving and her lip was bleeding.

Did I do that? Kero couldn’t help but smile even though she could taste her own blood in her mouth too.

“What?” She lifted her head so she could look down at the already much shorter woman. “Too much for you already?” Please don’t say yes.

“You imbecile.” Ela took a threatening step forward. “What do you think would happen if I call for my guards right now?”

Kero’s laughter made Ela’s triumph turn into puzzlement. She took a step towards the door but Kero stopped her with a grip to her arm.

“Why do you think I returned?” Kero’s grip tightened. “Because I want you so much? Because I can’t stand not touching you again?” Sure, that was partly it but she couldn’t tell Ela that.

“Let go of me.” Ela pulled her arm from Kero. “I’m not scared of you.”

Kero knew that. If Ela had been even the slightest scared of her, Kero would never have wanted to touch her.

“Why is my castle silent?” A wrinkle of worry appeared between her eyebrows. “Kero?” Ela took a step toward her.” Answer me!”

If Ela hadn’t been looking so tortured at that moment, Kero would have kissed her again. All of a sudden, she didn’t want to tell her.

“You drive me insane you know.” She pulled on a lock of Ela’s hair. “I can’t be near you and not touch you. Do you know that?”

“Kero!” Ela slapped her hand away. “Tell me now.”

Instead of answering, Kero kissed her again. She couldn’t wait. Her whole body pulsed and she had to close her eyes. She didn’t want to look at Ela’s stupid face anymore.

When she bit Ela’s lip on purpose and revelled in the ground it produced, Kero knew that there would be nothing as good as this. It didn’t matter if the coup worked out. If she became the ruler herself. This woman. This queen that Kero hated with all of her heart and soul. This was the best life had to offer.

She pulled her towards the royal bed and fell on top of it, pulling Ela with her as she did.

“We need to talk about this, you know?” Ela whispered breathlessly into Kero’s mouth. Instead of answering, Kero reversed their positions so that she was on top. She ground herself onto Ela, eager to get both of them off as quickly as possible. Ela was whimpering underneath her, her eyes closed, her mouth open. Kero quickly closed her eyes as well. She couldn’t look at Ela, if she did, she would start feeling sorry for her.

If Kero felt sorry for her, if she let even an ounce of sympathy for Ela, enter her heart, she would be lost. And her cause with it.

 

* * *

 

Ela woke up, finding herself wrapped up in Kero’s arms. Her body felt tender but her soul was satiated in a way it hadn’t been for months. She looked up and saw to her distress that her belly was covered in bite marks. Like love notes they shone purple on her pale skin. She gritted her teeth but saw to her triumph that she had at least placed a perfectly round bite mark around Kero’s nipple.

How they had fallen asleep was beyond her, it had never happened before.

“Wake up.” She kicked the nearest chin. “I’m cold.”

It was strange. Her whole chamber was cold. No one had been in to lit the fires. Or woken her up for supper. What was going on?

Kero groaned next to her, but her sleepiness wasn’t cute as much as it was pathetic. Ela’s heart swelled. Stop looking. Kero was not cute. Not. She really needed to get up now.

She got up and picked up her dress from the ground. She needed to venture into the castle to check what was going on. When she was dressed, she looked back at Kero who was still sleeping on the bed, then she walked towards the door.

“Wait.” Kero said when Ela’s hand was on the doorknob. “Don’t go out there.”

Ela turned around.

“Why?”

“Because there are people out there who would kill you.”

Ela crossed her arms over her chest. What was Kero saying?

“Why is this time different from all the other times? There has always been a risk of assassins.”

Kero sat up, quickly buttoning her shirt.

“This time, they are sent by me. And this time, your guards aren’t here to protect me.”

Fear gripped Ela’s heart. Real fear for the first time.

“This is a coup.” Kero didn’t sound triumphant. She didn’t sound like she had won. She didn’t sound like a successful revolutionary. “You’re not a queen anymore.”

Ela swallowed. Her throat suddenly dry. She took her hand off the door knob.

“My family has ruled for generations.”

Kero got off the bed. “And just like that, your tyranny is over.”

“My… tyranny?” Tears started falling from Ela’s eyes. She didn’t care that Kero saw it. She fell to her knees. It was over. All of it. Her reign. She had never felt so powerless. And she had once let Kero fuck her with her hands tied behind her back.

Kero came to stand in front of her. All Ela could see was her feet.

“You let me rot in the dungeon for months.”

Ela swallowed a whine. It was true. It was all true. And Kero wasn’t the only one. The miller. A couple of thieves. One young girl who had accidently shot down her favorite song bird. Many more. Kero was just an example of all the people she had hurt.

“So what is going to happen to me now?” She didn’t look up. “Are you going to kill me?”

Kero said nothing. The minutes ticked by.

“I… can’t.”

Without wanting to, a mirthless giggle escaped Ela. “What are you, a chicken?” She hoped that Kero would remember uttering those very words earlier the same day. Oh how quickly the tables had turned on them.

“Yes.”

Huh?

Kero sat down in front of her and grabbed her hand.

“II have never hated or loved anyone more than I do you, right now.”

“I know how you feel.” Ela sighed. “Did you come here to kill me?”

“I don’t know,” Kero said. “I think that’s what the others thought. Maybe I was.”

“You know I’ve never been scared of you.” Ela needed her to know, that even know, even with the revolution, she wasn’t scared of her. Kero would never claim that part of her. Everything else, even her kingdom, she could have. Ela sighed again. “So what now? You help me escape?”

Kero pressed a peck to her lips.

She nodded slowly.

Then she stuck the dagger she had been hiding, right into Ela’s heart.

 

K is for Kerosene

…actually, K is not for kerosene at all but close enough to energetic. I struggled with this letter. All the words I thought of start with a k in Swedish but a c in English.

I’ve been ill for a few days. Bedridden when I should have been at a birthday-party; under a blanket when I should have been dancing, you get the idea. Today, after taking a nap, I woke up extremely hyper. My brain is on overdrive and my body can’t keep up. In the past, let’s say at the tender age of 23 I would have channelled this energy into a very smutty fan fiction but now that I’m older and wiser I think I shall instead use it for something using original characters. After writing this blog post, that’s what I’m going to do. Write a very small, hopefully very sexy, one-shot using who knows what characters my brain can come up with so be on the look-out for that.

Otherwise I have finished the planning of my fifth novel, “The Biggest Secret” (working title) and within a week or so I’ll start writing that. But today, tonight, maybe a short lesbian story is actually what my mind needs to focus on. I tried reading first (Dangerous Waters by Radclyffe) and I just couldn’t focus.

In other news, work has started. I hope to still be active on social media but as all my readers know, that’s not something I can promise. Just next Tuesday, we’re pulling a 12 hours shift and between planning and correcting and stressing over what might happen, a lot of times my creativity is ground into dust.

Fun fact: K could have been for Kathy which is based on Katarina, my legal middle name.   I’m going to go and write something decadent now, which me luck!

J is for Jae

In my last post I talked about how reading Backwards to Oregon changed my life. Backwards to Oregon was written by Jae, whom I have had the fortune of interviewing!

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I think most people know who you are, but let’s say there is someone reading who doesn’t, what would you say is the most important thing to know about Jae?

That I love books—writing them, reading them, editing them. When it comes to my own books, I want my readers to know that I work hard to deliver a high-quality book every time, with three-dimensional characters and a realistic love story that makes you fall in love with both characters too.

Do you prefer e-books or physical books?

 It’s not an either/or thing for me. I buy mostly e-books because otherwise I would run out of space on my bookshelf. Plus e-books are really convenient when you’re traveling. But if I really like a book, I’ll buy it as a paperback too.

  Do you feel different about writing now than when you first started?

 Honestly, no. I was always passionate about writing, and I still am. But, of course, now writing is my job too, so that means I can’t skip a day of writing because I don’t feel motivated. Being a full-time writer isn’t all about sipping lattes all day and feeling kissed by the muse. Sometimes it’s hard work. But it’s still the best job in the world.

  Once you said, in an interview, that one of your biggest fears was having all characters be the same – do you feel like you’ve managed to not do this?

 I’ll let my readers by the judge of that. So far, I think I managed to avoid it. I see it so often with writers who publish several books a year. Sometimes, their books and characters are weak copies of earlier novels. I don’t want that to happen to me, so I put a lot of extra effort into creating my characters. I create character sketches that include a lot of details from their childhood, past relationships, job history, their fears, strengths, and weaknesses. I want my characters to be fully developed story people that my readers want to hang out with.

  Would you say Backwards to Oregon is your biggest success?

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 That depends on what criteria you use to measure success. It’s not my best-selling novel of all times (that would be Just for Show and Something in the Wine) nor did it win the most awards (that would be Second Nature, which won five awards). But it’s certainly a book that still resonates with readers. When I asked readers for their all-time favorite lesbian / women-loving women novel for the free choice square of Lesbian Book Bingo, Backwards to Oregon was one of the top 15 answers.

If you didn’t work as a full-time writer and editor, is there any other field that interests you? Psychology again or something else?

 I’m interested in a lot of things, but I’m not sure I’d want to do any of them for a living. Being a psychologist was great, but since I’m an introvert, working with people all day took a lot out of me, so I probably wouldn’t want to do that again. Honestly, being a full-time writer is a dream come true for me. But if I couldn’t do that for some reason, I’d love to do something else with languages.

  How do you balance writing with the distraction of social media and the internet?

 I always say the Internet is the biggest blessing and the greatest curse for writers. I try to do my writing in the morning and early afternoon and turn off the Internet until I meet my daily word count goal. If I use the Internet to look up things while I write, I sometimes fall down a research rabbit hole… Half an hour later, I find myself reading a fascinating article that has nothing to do with my initial research question at all.

Once I’m done writing for the day, I do marketing, connect with readers via social media, and answer email in the afternoon.

  Do you have a favourite social media?

 Hmm… In the past, I would have said Facebook, since I started out not liking Twitter much. But over time, that has definitely changed. I’ve been on Instagram for just a few months, and I really like it. Having a mainly image-based social media is a nice change of pace.

  Is there any novel of yours that took longer to write than the others?

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 The writing itself almost always takes the same amount of time—about three months for the first draft. What differs is how long the research phase and the revisions take.

Just Physical is the book that I spent most time revising. I had to rewrite the entire book several times to get Jill’s emotional journey right. When it comes to research, my historical romances (Backwards to Oregon, Hidden Truths, and Shaken to the Core) took much longer, and I also did a lot of research on asexuality before I started writing Perfect Rhythm. So these would be the books that took the longest to finish overall.

  When you start planning a new novel, do you start with the story or the characters?

 Always the characters. They are at the core of the story. They are the story. Once I know who the characters are and what they need to learn and how they need to grow during the course of the book, that determines the plot.

  If someone had never read any of your books, which one do you think they should start with?

 That depends on what kind of books they like to read. If they like historical fiction, I’d say start with Backwards to Oregon. If they like paranormal romance, I’d say start with Second Nature. If they are mainly reading contemporary romance, I’d say either Just for Show (which is a romance that starts out as a fake relationship) or Damage Control (which is a celebrity romance).

  Is there anything in your writing journey that you’d like to go back and change?

 Not much actually. Maybe making that huge leap into writing full-time a little sooner or with more confidence. But all in all, I look back without any regrets.

  What is next for you?

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 I’m eagerly awaiting the publication of my newest romance novel, Paper Love, which will be available everywhere on August 29. It’s my first book that is set in Germany—in the city where I live—and I’m curious to find out what readers think.

I’m in the middle of doing research on my next novel, book #2 in the Fair Oaks series. It will have different main characters than book 1 (Perfect Rhythm) but takes place in the same small town in Missouri.

 I’m also traveling a lot right now. I just got back from a trip to the US for the GCLS conference, and I’ll leave for EllCon in Bristol soon. It’s always great to spend some time among people who are just as passionate about books and about lesbian fiction as I am.

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You can find out more about Jae here.

I is for Identity (on fan fiction, being a lesbian, and lesfics)

Yesterday I went horse-back riding for the first time in 12 years. And it was amazing. Once upon a time, I was quite the horse-girl, been riding since I was seven, filled my walls with posters featuring horses, etc etc… I’m sure most people recognize the stereotype. And then I moved from home, grew up and just forgot about all of it. I want to find my way back, I really do. It’s a huge part of who I am.

It was the same with writing. The first time I announced I was going to become a writer was when I was five years old. I wasn’t able to write yet, couldn’t even spell my own name properly (Before you judge, my legal name has nine letters. Count all my middle names plus last name, my name has 9+8+4+4=25 letters, that’s a lot when you’re little.) I don’t know why I said I was going to be a writer, I just did. More on that here.

So I started writing. First, through pictures – my dad helped me with the words – then by hand, then on a computer. My childhood and teenage years were dominated by five main stories that I planned and stuck to.

However, between 19 and 23 I didn’t write anything, I even stopped writing poetry. I went to university and then started moving around a lot. I didn’t pick it up until I, by mistake, discovered fan fiction.

Fan fiction is the reason I’m an author today. Not just because it got me back to writing. It did that, but it did so much more than that too. Fan fiction made me interact with people. These people became my friends, some of which I’m still in touch with today. One of these people, whom I’ve sadly lost in touch with, gave me a couple of presents.

The presents were: Backwards to Oregon by Jae, Second Nature by Jae and Lady Knight by L J Baker. I started with Backwards to Oregon and my life was forever changed. This might sound strange to some. But I was a lonely little lesbian. Except for my wife – then girlfriend ya da ya da – we didn’t meet people “like us”. At University of Aberdeen all my friends were gay boys (don’t ask me how that happened XD ). Other lesbians? They didn’t exist and if they did, it was far away from us. Not that I have that many lesbian friends now, but I know that we’re out there. I know some online and I know that we exist. We’re real, you know? The online community of lesfic writers and readers has done wonders for my sense of self and identity. Maybe that makes me incredibly silly, but it’s still the truth. It makes me feel less alone. Less abnormal.

I feel sorry for the readers of my old fan fiction account, because it’s abandoned now even though I get the occasional likes and follows. It still exists and I’m proud of most of the stuff I wrote there. Mass Effect, Dragon age, Game of Thrones, Rizzoli and Isles, Portal etc… it’s fun to play with other people’s characters, it just is. It was great practice for me too, until I felt ready to play around with my own. In the beginning I wrote both but more and more, my own fiction took over. I don’t have time and energy for both.

(If anybody is curious about my fan fiction you can find that here, however please remember that my writing ability has gotten so much better since then.)

I realize more and more that I’m the same person I’ve always been. I have always loved horses, I still do today. I have always loved writing and telling stories, I still do today. Some things change, of course, but all in all, I’m still me. That will never change.

 

H is for Home

It’s like coming home from a long trip, that’s what love is like. It’s like coming home.

– Piper Chapman, Orange is the New Black

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I’m not a big fan of the character Piper Chapman from the Netflix series Orange is the New Black. This is just my opinion of course, if you like her please don’t take offense, but she’s either the worst written character ever or the most well-written. Either way she comes off lacking in substance, she’s whimsical and has no sense of loyalty. But the quote above is the best quote I know for love. The type of love that isn’t new, that isn’t the passionate craze of the newly infatuated. The type of love that you have for someone you have known for a long time.

“Old” love. Companion love. True love. That type of love is definitely a feeling of coming home.

The wife came home yesterday. She’s been gone on a working trip as I’ve mentioned before. Without saying too much, she had been staying somewhere were she wasn’t allowed to use a phone. I hadn’t heard her voice for over 20 days. I was fine when she called me at the airport in Cape Town and still the moment I heard her voice, I burst into tears and all the feelings I had kept myself from feeling, came to the surface.

Meeting her after her 24 hours of flying was even better, and no tears then.

Home is truly where the heart is.

I’ve grown a lot this summer. I have overcome my fear of thunder. I have developed a new respect for heat and forest fires. I have, for hopefully the last time, woken up to the smell of smoke. I took up riding again. It hasn’t been a relaxing summer but I think I can go back to work in less than two weeks feeling accomplished.

Another H I can mention is horses. I’ve started planning my next novel (novel number five, can you believe it?), it’s a bit different than my other ones. It’s set in England, during the 1940s. On a horse farm. I’m trying to write an anti-hero, but we’ll see how that goes.

I’m going to post this and then start dinner. I hope everyone who reads this has had a nice summer too, hopefully without too much forest-fire/heatstroke drama. I don’t know about you, but I’m seriously looking forward for autumn and colder weather now.

 

 

A (Not So) Short History of Women Riding Astride

I’m gathering research for my new novel, this is very relevant and awesome-ly written.

Susanna Forrest

I enjoyed talking about the history of sidesaddle on Countryfile – it was my first experience of TV and everyone was incredibly friendly and easygoing. We did a few takes of different parts of the interview and it was hard to know whether to embellish what I’d said each time or to say the same thing again. There’s so much material to use but you only have seconds in which to say it, and the entire segment on sidesaddle was six minutes long. This slot had to include the presenter, Ellie, having a sidesaddle lesson, a display by the Legover Ladies and interviews with saddler Laura Dempsey and Roger Philpot. The result is that you simplify as colourfully as you can and make a mental note to do a blog post which clarifies a thing or two. I haven’t seen the programme yet as I can’t watch it on iPlayer…

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Lesbians in History

Check out this cool article I found while researching for my new novel that will be set in 1949-1950s Britain.

It’s called 16 lesbian power couples from history.