Ruth Ann Nordin's Blog, page 98

Sample Scene From “A Husband for Margaret”: Margaret Realizes Four Boys Are A Lot of Work

A week before I wrote this scene, I went through a situation where one of my kids had diarrhea run down his legs, so I had to clean him up, get laundry going, manage the other kids were running around the house getting into trouble, and dealing with a phone call all at the same time.  I modified some details for the book, but how overwhelmed Margaret felt was exactly the way I felt.  :D

Margaret wiped the sweat from her brow as she bathed Charles.  Charles giggled, filled the cup with water, and dumped it on his head.  This sent him into another round of giggles before he filled the cup again.  She breathed a sigh of relief and turned from the metal tub set to the side of the kitchen.

“Doug, can you hand me that towel?” she called out.

She went to the other tub and added more soap to the hot water before she scrubbed Charles’ pants on the washboard.

Doug dutifully came over to her with the towel in his hands.

She motioned for him to give the towel to Charles when Bob came running into the room.  “Ben’s on the work table!”

A glance over her shoulder showed her that, sure enough, Ben had dragged a chair across the floor and was standing up on the table.  Without a thought, she dropped the pants and rushed to get Ben down, but it was too late.  He’d already reached up on a nearby shelf and pulled down the canister of sugar.  As she pulled it out of his arms, the lid popped off and some of the brown sugar settled to the table and floor.  Before Ben could bend down to lick it off the table, she put the canister down, picked him up and placed him in the highchair.

“Doug, how do I get this tray in?” she asked.

She struggled to make the thing fit, even as Ben squirmed out of his seat.  She grunted and set him back down just in time for Doug to reach her and latch the tray into place.  She took a deep breath to settle her nerves.  Alright.  She’d get Charles out of the bath and dressed.  Then she’d tackle the sugar.

“Uh…Ma?” Bob placed Charles’ new clothes on the kitchen table.

“What?” She spun around in time to see Bob pointing to Charles who was dumping cupfuls of water out of the tub.  “Charles!  Stop!”

She avoided the sugar-coated floor and hastened to the happy boy.

“Here’s the towel, Ma.” Doug shoved it in her face as she took the cup from Charles.

She stared at the towel and tried to decide what to do first.  Did she take care of Charles or the large puddle on the floor?  Everything was happening so fast.  If everything would just stop for one moment, she could figure out how to best do what and in what order.

“Get more towels for Ma,” Doug told Bob.

Bob bounded out of the room, and before she could warn him to avoid the sugar, he jumped over the spot.  She breathed a sigh of relief.  At least one thing was going right!  The last thing she needed was to track sugar through the house.  She took the towel and mopped up the floor as best as she could.  Then when Bob returned, once again jumping over the sugar, she got Charles out of the tub and dried him off.

Someone knocked on the front door and she groaned.  Of all times, why did someone have to stop by now?

“I’ll get it, Ma!” Doug bounded out of the kitchen.

She wiped the sweat from her face with the towel and threw it down so she could put a clean diaper on Charles.  Granted, the kitchen table probably wasn’t the best place to do this, but the floor was still damp.

Bob shook his head.  “You pinned it in wrong.  It should go the other way.”

Sighing, she removed the safety pin and turned it over so she could insert it through the cloth.  Sure enough, the hold was more secure.  She picked up the other safety pin and got ready to put it into the other piece of the cloth at Charles’ hip when a man and woman entered the kitchen.

“They said they have some pots you will want to buy,” Doug said, following them.

“What?” Margaret pricked her finger, rubbed it against her thumb, and tried to get the pin through the fabric again.  She glanced at the couple.  “May I help you?”

The woman raised her eyebrows.  “Is that child still in diapers?”

Margaret immediately felt like shoving the couple out of the house.  Really, wasn’t she having enough to deal with without putting up with the woman’s shocked tone?  She finished fastening the pin and gave the woman a look she was sure expressed her annoyance at the question.  “Did you come here to ask what I do with my children?”

“No,” Doug piped up.  “They want to sell you pots.”

The man smiled.  “We apologize, ma’am.  The boy is right.  We represent the Anderson Kitchen Supply Company, and we thought you might be interested in new cookware.”

Charles sat up, so she quickly grabbed a shirt and put his arms through the sleeves.

“I have enough pots,” she replied, wishing they would leave.

“We offer more than that,” the man continued.  “We also sell baking pans and kettles.”

The woman nodded.  “We also offer pot hooks.  I notice you don’t have any in this kitchen.  If you had some hooks, it would clear up some of that shelf space.  I have a couple I use in my own kitchen, and I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

“It does save up a lot of room,” the man agreed.

Margaret buttoned the boy’s shirt, glad that her focus was on the task at hand because, otherwise, she might not be able to hold her temper in check.  She hated salespeople.  If she wanted to buy kitchenware, she’d go to the mercantile.

Doug and Bob stared at the couple while Ben made raspberry noises.

“I am fine with what I have,” she finally said, realizing she had to say something.  She stood Charles on his feet and got the pants ready for him to put on.  He held onto her shoulders as she instructed him to place his foot into the pants.  “I don’t need the extra room.”

“May I check your cookware?” the woman asked, already stepping to the side of the table and toward the shelves.

“No!” Margaret took Charles into her arms, even as his pants dangled on him, so she could dart in front of the irritating woman.  “I’m sorry, but in case you haven’t noticed, I’m busy.  I have a houseful of children to take care of, and the last thing I need is for you to go through here and tell me what’s wrong with my pots and pans.”

The woman’s eyes grew wide and she let out a light gasp.  “I certainly didn’t imply to overstep my bounds.  I thought as a woman who does a lot of cooking, I might offer some advice on a better set of cookware.”

Charles kicked his legs until the pants flew off of him and onto the sugar that was still on a part of the floor.

“Oh my,” the woman said, just noticing the mess.  “You certainly do have your hands full.  Are you sure you can handle all of this?  I do know a nanny who might be a big help.”

That’s it.  Margaret couldn’t take it anymore.  “I would be able to do this if I didn’t have unwanted company trying to sell me something I don’t need or want.”

The woman blanched.  “There’s no need to be rude.”

“Rude?  You come in here and insult the way I take care of my children while you try to make a sale, and you call me rude?”

The woman stared at her as if she couldn’t believe her ears.

The man cleared his throat.  “We’ll leave you to your work, ma’am.” He took something out of his briefcase.  “You might like to check our catalogue.  At your convenience of course.” He set it on the kitchen table.  “Come along, Mildred.  We’ll try the house next door.”

Mildred gave one last look around the room and muttered, “My children were out of diapers when they were two,” before she left the house with the man.

“I’ll get one of Ben’s pants, Ma.  Charles can still fit ‘em.” Bob ran off down the hall.

“I can wash up the pants,” Doug said.  “I helped Pa with this.  I know what to do.”

Overwhelmed, she glanced around the kitchen.  Never in her entire life had she ever felt that everything was out of control.

Bob returned with the pants.  “I’ll watch him, Ma.  Go ahead and clean up the sugar.”

She stared at Bob as he told his younger brother to hold onto him so he could help him into the small pants.  Then she turned her gaze to Doug who started scrubbing the pants along the washboard.  Ben banged on his highchair but laughed when Charles fell down while Bob tried to get the pants around his waist.  Finally, she went to the drawer and pulled out a clean cloth.  As she pumped the water to wet it down, her tears started to fall.

Inspiration for the Book: A Husband for Margaret (The Names and Ages)

The sample scene I posted when Joseph Connealy is traveling to Omaha with four young boys can be found here.  Today I’m going to look at the inspiration behind the scene and the names I chose for the father and his boys.  :D

Behind the Names

In the book, Joseph Connealy was a widower with four boys ages 2-7.  My grandfather was a widower, but he only had one son named Ben.  He married my grandmother and they had four boys: Doug, Bob, John, and Charles.  My dad’s name was John (he’s passed away now).  Since I had used the name John for the hero in Loving Eliza  (I’ll have to do another post on that in the future because there’s more to it than that), I decided to use the name Ben.  Instead of Ben being the oldest, I made him the youngest.  My grandmother’s name was Josephine, so I changed it to Joseph and gave it to the hero of “A Husband for Margaret.”  (Richard, by the way, was my grandfather’s name and I already gave that name to Richard Larson.  That’s why I didn’t use my grandfather’s name.)

Behind the Personalities of the Children

As for the personalities of the children, I took that from my uncles.  Doug was always more serious and reserved.  Bob was, by the far, the most outgoing one of the group.  Charles was also outgoing, but not as much as Bob, and he ended up singing children songs in Canada.  When I write about Charles in a future book, he’ll do something with music.  I never really knew Ben except for a couple times I communicated with him, so giving him the youngest role seemed to fit best.  I did marry Ben off to Emily Craftsman’s friend (Alice).  That was in Isaac’s Decision. Ben ended up becoming someone steady and predictable.  That doesn’t make for the most exciting person in the world, but he’s someone you can depend on if you ever need him.

Behind the Children’s Ages

Doug was 7, Bob was 6, Charles was 3, and Ben was 2.  I based their ages off my boys’ ages (giving one year leeway).  I wanted the kids to be realistic, and the best way to do that was to base them on how old my kids were at the time.  My oldest was 7, my second was 6, my third was 4, and my fourth was 3.  So I lowered the ages for Charles and Ben by one year.  All I can say is that having that many kids so close in age isn’t for the faint of heart.  LOL

The Scene on the Train

This is a play-by-play account of how long trips with my kids typically go.  The first hour was usually okay, but somewhere into the second to third hour, things would go crazy.  So I imagine poor Joseph spent what felt like an eternity going from Dayton to Omaha on a train.

More Mayhem With the Kids Taken From Real Life

For fun, I’ll post a scene from when Margaret is trying to clean up one of the kids after he gets diarrhea from drinking milk.  That was also a play-by-play account of something I had dealt with just one week prior to writing it in the story (and yes, my own kid had diarrhea after drinking milk).  Ironically, it’s only when you’re running all over the house to get kids cleaned up does someone either come to the door or call on the phone, which is why I had the salesman pop up during that scene.  :D  I’ll post that scene up tomorrow.

Story Sample Sunday: A Husband for Margaret

I’m trying something new.  I’m going to aim for a sample from one of my books on each Sunday.  Then at some point during the week, I’ll offer the inspiration for the sample I post.  Since this is new, I’m not sure where this will go.  :D

This week, I’ve chosen to do a sample from A Husband for Margaret.  It’s one of my favorite parts of the book, and in my next post, I’ll explain why.

***

Joseph Connealy grunted as his three-year-old son jumped on his lap to slap one of his brothers across the head.

            The wounded brother, of course, let out a high pitch wail.

Brother number three promptly smacked the three year old, and the youngest brother barely stirred from his slumber, proving that two year olds could sleep through anything as long as they spent most of the night running up and down the aisle.

A very tired Joseph barked out, “Enough!” and the three boys immediately stopped their bickering.  Joseph had no idea the train ride would be this long.  Sure, it didn’t seem like it’d be much when he packed their things and lugged them all to the station in Dayton.  But now that they’d been traveling for what seemed like years, he was ready to get off the train, hand them to Margaret Williams, and hightail it right back to Ohio.

Of course, he wouldn’t do that to the poor woman.  They were his children, after all.  But they sure did need a mother in the worst possible way.  And he needed them to have a mother as well.  He could only pray she’d be willing to marry him instead of his brother.

“Are we there yet?” Doug, the seven year old, asked.

“Almost,” Joseph mumbled, closing his eyes.  His head hurt.

“But you said that an hour ago,” Doug whined.

“Compared to when we started, we were almost there.”

“And now?”

“We’re even closer.”

“How much closer?”

“Five minutes,” he guessed.  At least, based on the itinerary, they should be ready to pull into the Omaha train station.  Dear God, let the itinerary be right.  My sanity depends on it.

“How long is five minutes?” Bob, the six year old, asked.

“I don’t know,” Joseph said.

“How come you don’t know?” Doug asked.

“I do know.  I just don’t know how to explain it so you’ll understand,” Joseph clarified.

“Is five minutes long?” Doug asked.

“No.”

Then Charles leaned his head back and knocked his father in the jaw.

Joseph grumbled and rubbed the sore spot.  “Alright.  Five minutes is long.”

“Longer than an hour?” Bob pressed.

The train finally—mercifully—began to slow, and Joseph breathed a loud sigh of relief.  God did answer prayers!

Following One’s Purpose

So, I keep thinking of what I can post that is more the “real” me.  My problem is that outside my writing (with my characters), I’m not really able to tell many amusing stories to entertain people.  In my head, I can make up stand-up routines about my kids and in my mind everyone laughs because I’m funny.  But then I try to write it down or tell someone in person, and it just doesn’t come out the way it does in my head.  Which means I suck at real life storytelling.  You know the people in your life who tell a joke and no one laughs?  Yep, that’s me.

But that’s okay.  We’re all different, and the key is knowing your own strengths.  :D

And that’s what my post is about.  It’s about finding your purpose.  Today I saw a movie with my husband (while the kids were in school so it was an actual date).  He’s the one who heard of it and I thought it was going to be okay (not great but I was going to be with him, not to see the movie).  Anyway, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it.  The movie was Last Ounce of Courage, and it’s about this father who is the mayor of a small town and he uses his position to celebrate Christmas by putting up traditional Christmas decorations (which does include the Christian focus of Christmas).  He’s under pressure by those crying separation of church and state to remove the “offensive” decorations.  That’s the gist of it.  I don’t know if anyone plans to see this movie, so I won’t spoil it by saying what happens.

The theme of the movie was standing up for what you believe in.  And then I got to thinking about writing. (Yes, most of the time, I think about writing.)  I’ve been feeling out of sorts lately, wondering what I’m writing for.  What’s my purpose?  What’s my goal?  Why do I keep doing it?  Should I give it up and choose a less stressful job? (Writing is very stressful.  I know all jobs are stressful, but writing happens to be one that is even more so because it’s personal.  An author cannot separate him/herself from the work because stories originate from the heart, unless the author isn’t writing what they believe in.)

A couple times a year, I play out the whole “I should give it up” fantasy where I walk away and live a quiet life out of the public eye.  Not that there’s paparazzi outside my door, but I’ve had my share of stalkerish types.  This is why I don’t like to post about my children or husband or other things that involve my personal life.   The best I can do is discuss the more personal side of my writing (if I am to be personal).

Writing and publishing (esp. on your own) is not for the faint of heart.  You need a strong resolve.  That’s what the movie reinforced today.  Anything worth doing is worth doing with your whole heart.  Last Ounce of Courage was a Christian film, so there was a theme in there about doing what God has put you here to do.  It also had a patriotic theme running through it, and that had to do with defending your freedoms.

My philosophy is that it’s better to take a stand and fail than to never take a stand at all.  It’s why I went into self-publishing.  When I was seeking out publishers back in 2008, I was told that I couldn’t put Christian material into a romance novel with sex in it.  I was told to stop straddling the fence.  I gave the matter a lot of prayer.  As in, I prayed for about a year before I finally let Eye of the Beholder be the type of book it was meant to be.  It was the first book I wrote with sex in it.  Early on An Inconvenient Marriage, An Unlikely Place for Love and a couple of my earlier books had no sex in them.  They didn’t because I let fear hold me back.  It was fear of what others would think when they read my books.  ”How can you be a Christian and have sex in your books?”  I still get emails criticizing me for this, but you know, I’m fully convinced that this is what God has put me here to do.  Whenever I start to doubt or wonder, He finds a way to reassure me that I’m on the right path.

And lately, I have been thinking of compromising.  When I say “compromising,” I mean taking Christian aspects out of my romances so I’m more popular with a greater number of people.  I would keep sex in marriage (can’t budge on that one, guys).  I was thinking, “I need to write books that will appeal to more people because it’ll be easier to sell more books that way.” But then, today I realized that it’s not about me.  It’s not about what I want but what He wants, and I have to be yielded to His will.  So my Christian content will remain in my books.  If my characters are supposed to go to church, they’ll go to church.  If they want to discuss God at some point (some do and some don’t), I’ll let it happen.  If there’s a preacher that plays a role in the book, I’m going to let that preacher in there.  I’m not the “in your face” kind of writer when it comes to my faith, but you can see how my faith influences my work.

[If anyone wonders, after publishing Eye of the Beholder, I went back and revised my earlier books so they had sex in them.  This is why Falling In Love With Her Husband (originally Todd's Bride and Ann's Groom), An Inconvenient Marriage, An Unlikely Place for Love, and The Cold Wife were revised.]

Sometimes it takes a while to find your purpose.  Sometimes you don’t get it right the first time.  Sometimes you need to go back and do revisions.  I’m not afraid of failing.  I’m afraid of not improving.  So keep striving to find your purpose, and if you falter, know you’re not alone.  I’ve faltered, too.  Whatever God has planned for you, know that even if you don’t see the results from your efforts, He is in control of it all and will use it for His glory.  We do what He’s given us to do with the resources we have, and He does the rest.

Going to Start Looking Into Publishers (For Mitch’s Win)

I wanted to give everyone a heads up about Mitch’s Win (which I renamed again from Clayton’s Win).  I’ll have to delete Clayton from the timeline on the Nebraska books to reflect this change.

There is a lot going on behind the scenes with the self-publishing situation (for all authors).  I won’t go into it here because I try to keep the more business side of what I do for the Self-Published Author’s Lounge (SPAL).  There’s so much new stuff cropping up that I haven’t been able to fully grasp it, which is why I haven’t made a post about it on SPAL yet.  I know some of you read both this blog and SPAL, so you’re probably wondering what I’m talking about.  I plan to write a post over there soon.

So anyway, for this blog post, this is what I finally decided to write…

It’s obvious that it will be to my advantage to find a publisher for some of my new books.  Therefore, I plan to convert Clayton’s Win back to Mitch’s Win and make Mitch’s Win a Montana book.  I have three more ideas that have stemmed from Mitch’s Win, so I can have a series to present to a publisher if they would like a series.

If it turns out I can’t find a publisher for Mitch’s Win, I don’t know what I’ll do with it.  I can’t go with a publisher who won’t let me keep my vision for my book.  Depending on the publisher, authors are asked to change quite a bit or can keep content as it is.  Each publisher is different, but given the nature of my books, I seriously doubt I can find a big publisher.  Big publishers (the ones who put books in bookstores and grocery stores, etc) can afford to do more than a small publisher with promotion.  I occasionally get questions about paperbacks, but I don’t think a small publisher will make a paperback possible and I can’t make a paperback once I hand over my book to them.  I also won’t control price.  There are always pros and cons to every situation, but with things going as they are, I believe the smart move is to find a publisher for some of my future books.

After talking with authors who have gone with big publishers and small publishers, I think the best chance I have in keeping my books the way I want them  to be will be the smaller ones.  There are some things I just can’t compromise on.  That is why I went into self-publishing to begin with.  My aim is to go with a small publisher.

We’ll see how it all plays out.  I won’t even have anything to submit until next year.

Bound by Honor Bound by Love Is Being Moved Back To October

I have two people currently looking at this book.  One is proofing it, and the other is editing it.  The one who is editing has a lot of obligations going on this week and will be on vacation next week, so for the next two weeks, she won’t be looking over the book at all.  I don’t her to feel rushed when she’s going through my book because when people are rushed, they don’t do as well on a project.

So let’s aim for mid-October for publishing Bound by Honor, Bound by Love.  If it gets pushed further back, I’ll let you know.  :D

Books I Read and Why I Don’t Like To Review Books Anymore

Some of you will be surprised (and others not) about my reading preferences.  Over the summer, I read a lot of Young Adult thrillers and a couple of marketing books by Seth Godin.  I often mix some business with pleasure when I read, and most of the time, I read nonfiction.  That’s why it’s hard to recommend romance books I haven’t already mentioned, and I do get some emails asking for recommendations.

Anyway, most of the time, I read nonfiction.  I enjoy researching publishing and marketing trends to share on the Self-Published Author’s Lounge (which is where I make posts that I hope will help other authors).  I also enjoy reading Christian nonfiction books, especially with topics involving aliens (which I believe are demons), the study of the end-times, and exploring the days of Noah (because I think there was more to the flood than the Sethite view I grew up being taught in private school).  For those of you who read my book Return of the Aliens, then you understand what I mean.

I’ve been thinking of writing another sci-fi Christian thriller that leads up to the flood in Noah’s day, so you could call what I’m reading research.  I don’t know if I’ll write it, but the story has already begun forming in my mind.  (I have a lot of stories in my head, and only 25% of them get written.)  I do read romances and other genres, but proportionally I’d say for every 5 nonfiction books I read, I read one fiction.  Also, I’m a slow reader.  I always have been.  Like it takes me one week to finish a book while the majority of people I talk to finish a book in 1 or 2 days.  So I’m not a super reader.

As for reviews, I don’t like writing them anymore.  I did rate a book I enjoyed on Goodreads the other day, but I didn’t say why I liked the book.  And I only did this with a nonfiction book.  The reason I don’t like to write reviews is because the whole review process has become one of those no-win scenarios for authors.  This means that as an author, it’s too “political” (don’t know a better word for it) for me to review books.  I’m starting to think I shouldn’t have even rated the nonfiction book I read but just marked that I had read it on Goodreads.

So for those of you wondering why I’m at the point where I hate to review books anymore, I’ll explain.  If authors only want to leave good reviews, then they’re told they are shilling.  But some authors only want to leave good reviews so they only review books they enjoyed, which means they don’t review books they didn’t like.  Some people say that authors who do that can’t be trusted since there’s no balance in their reviews.  ”Oh, they will give a glowing review to anything,” they argue, which isn’t true.  It’s just that they would rather support other authors (and if you can’t say anything nice, why say anything at all?).  Plus, they realize there are vindictive authors out there who will create sock puppet accounts to attack someone who leaves a bad review on their book.  If you’re not an author, you have a lot more freedom to state whether or not you like a book.  If you’re an author, it’s too easy to be a target.

So instead of reviewing books, I’d rather pass along a book I’ve enjoyed in a giveaway.   I figure that is probably better than putting up a review anyway because at least this way, the winners of the giveaway get a chance to check out a new books (if they wish).

So what about you guys?  What kind of books do you like to read?  Are there any that you think others you know wouldn’t expect?

Having To Rethink How I’m Doing Things On This Blog

I’m thinking I need to change the way I do things on this blog.  I’ve been posting up works in progress and word counts, and for a while, that worked.  But I’m starting to think it’s not working anymore.

For example, I’ve already posted up works in progress over the past year that I ended up ditching later on.  I can think of a couple off the top of my head, and right now I’m wondering, “Why don’t I feel like writing Clayton’s Win when it was finally getting back on track?”  I don’t know the answer to that.

I think it boils down to stress.  I think by putting up these books and saying I’m going to work on them, it somehow creates pressure to get them done and published.  It used to motivate me, but now it seems to have trapped me.  Maybe that’s the thing that happens to everyone at some point.  You start out doing something, and it works great for some time.  Then along the way, you realize it’s not working so well, but you press through it anyway because it used to work and you wonder, “What’s wrong with me?  I used to do this all the time.”

The longer you push through it, the harder it gets, and then you find you’ve stalled.  You realize there’s no way you can keep doing it.  The system did work great, and it’s worked great for about a year.  I loved it, but it’s looking like it’s time to move onto something different.  I’m not sure what different will look like.  I still like character interviews and the scenes that never made it into the book.  But I don’t think I should post up works in progress until after I finish the first draft.

So I’m going to remove the widgets on the side that list my works in progress.  Works that are being edited or have just been released, I can see putting up there because once the first draft is done, I know I can say the book will be published.

I’m also going to stop talking about my works in progress.  I know I’ve disappointed some people by mentioning books I’m going to do or have started and then I stop writing them because I stall out or realize the idea isn’t going to work like I thought it would.  I’m tired of disappointing people.  I’d rather post up a “I finished the first draft of this book…” announcement than say, “I don’t think this story is going to work after all.”  I feel like a jerk when I say, “I won’t be doing this book like I thought I would.”

I don’t know if this new system will work, and maybe it won’t.  But I need to try something else.  If it doesn’t work, I can always go back to the old way or try something different.

Interview With Three Irate Characters and One Who’s Happy (Based off A Most Unsuitable Earl)

I am at the part in my first draft where Ethan marries Catherine and–

Duke of Rumsey (aka His Grace): Now stop it right there.

Gentleman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

His Grace: Good news for whom?

Ruth: For the main characters, of course.

His Grace: That’s preposterous!  This isn’t good news.  My daughter is crying.

Ethan’s Mother (aka Matchmaking Mother or MM for short): Those are tears of joy.

His Grace: They aren’t tears of joy.  And I blame this dastardly deed on you.

MM: On me?

His Grace: Yes.  You’re a meddlesome creature.  You made your grand display of “they’re in love” in front of everyone, knowing full well what the consequences would be.

MM: I had no idea.  I had hopes, but I couldn’t tell for sure what would happen.

His Grace: You knew.  You’re a wicked and deceitful lady.

Ethan: Might I remind you that you’re talking to my mother, the very lady who gave birth to me?

His Grace: I admit that error wasn’t her fault, but she should know better than behave so ruthlessly.

Queen of Butting In Where She’s Not Wanted

MM: Ethan wasn’t an error.  He just needs to be steered down the right path.

His Grace: At the expense of my daughter?

MM: Your daughter will be fine.  It’s you I’m worried about.  You like to control everything.  In modern times, the term would be “control freak.”

His Grace: I’m not the control freak.   You’re the one who manipulated your son’s marriage.

MM: You’re only upset because I was smart enough to make it happen.  Besides, if you’d done an adequate job, your daughter wouldn’t have had to go in for a third Season.  She would have been married sooner.  You should be thanking me.  Now she won’t live out a lonely life as a spinster.

Catherine: Thank you so much!  As if being a spinster is the worst thing that can happen to a lady.

MM: He won’t be allowed to live his debased life anymore, Your Grace.  At least not to the extent we find out about it.  From now on, he will be discrete.

His Grace: You plan to follow him around to make sure this happens?

What he wouldn’t give to escape off into the country and leave this mess behind!

Ethan: This is absurd.  I’m a grown man, not a child.

His Grace: Then when will you act like it?

Ethan: I have been.  Grown men go to gentleman’s clubs to gamble.  They tell and listen to raunchy jokes as long as no ladies are present.  They find ways to satisfy their needs, whether it be with a mistress or prostitute–

Catherine: Ewe.  Stop it!

His Grace: You are harming delicate ears.  Do so again, and I’ll challenge you to fencing.

MM: Ethan, that kind of talk will not be tolerated here.

Ethan: That kind of talk is why I should never have been allowed to get married.

His Grace: Finally, you said something I heartily agree with.

MM: That’s silly.  There are plenty of rakes, and yet there are tons of romance novels where they find that one special lady who turns them around for the better.

His Grace: But those rakes aren’t with my daughter.

MM: If your daughter had been with one of those rakes, she wouldn’t be in this book.

Catherine: Mind if I say something?

Ethan: I don’t even want to get married.  This arrangement isn’t of my own doing.

MM: Stop complaining.  Marriage is good for a gentleman.  It’s Biblical.  God said it’s not good for man to be alone.

Frustrated lady who goes mostly ignored…for now

Ethan: I wasn’t alone.  I had you bothering me all those years, Mother.

Catherine: Isn’t anyone interested in what I have to say?

MM: How have I been bothering you, Ethan?

Ethan: You’re constantly hounding me about getting married.

MM: And now I won’t have to.  See?  There’s the happy ending to this book, and we’re only six chapters in.

Ethan: No, it’s not a happy ending.  This whole catastrophe is your doing.

Catherine: I have some opinions I’d like to share.

MM: It’s not a catastrophe.  If this was a horror novel, then yes.  But it’s a romance.  Romances are full of fun and love and sex–

His Grace: My pure daughter in bed with… with…  I can’t even say it.

MM: She has to give my son an heir.  What will happen in their bed is strictly for duty to the crown.

Ethan: *rolls eyes*  Can my life get any more embarrassing?

Ruth: I guess we’ll just have to find out the answer to that one.  :D

Ethan: You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?

Ruth: Maybe a little too much. 

Ethan: I’ve had enough.  I’m out of here.  *leaves*

MM: To do what? Ethan, what are you going to do? *follows him*

His Grace: Whatever it is he plans to do, I hope I don’t find out about it from the Tittletattle.  *also leaves*

Catherine: Doesn’t anyone care about what I think? *crosses her arms, huffs, and leaves*

Interview With Three Irate Characters and One Who’s Happy (Based off A Most Unsuitable Husband)

I am at the part in my first draft where Ethan marries Catherine and–

Duke of Rumsey (aka His Grace): Now stop it right there.

Gentleman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

His Grace: Good news for whom?

Ruth: For the main characters, of course.

His Grace: That’s preposterous!  This isn’t good news.  My daughter is crying.

Ethan’s Mother (aka Matchmaking Mother or MM for short): Those are tears of joy.

His Grace: They aren’t tears of joy.  And I blame this dastardly deed on you.

MM: On me?

His Grace: Yes.  You’re a meddlesome creature.  You made your grand display of “they’re in love” in front of everyone, knowing full well what the consequences would be.

MM: I had no idea.  I had hopes, but I couldn’t tell for sure what would happen.

His Grace: You knew.  You’re a wicked and deceitful lady.

Ethan: Might I remind you that you’re talking to my mother, the very lady who gave birth to me?

His Grace: I admit that error wasn’t her fault, but she should know better than behave so ruthlessly.

Queen of Butting In Where She’s Not Wanted

MM: Ethan wasn’t an error.  He just needs to be steered down the right path.

His Grace: At the expense of my daughter?

MM: Your daughter will be fine.  It’s you I’m worried about.  You like to control everything.  In modern times, the term would be “control freak.”

His Grace: I’m not the control freak.   You’re the one who manipulated your son’s marriage.

MM: You’re only upset because I was smart enough to make it happen.  Besides, if you’d done an adequate job, your daughter wouldn’t have had to go in for a third Season.  She would have been married sooner.  You should be thanking me.  Now she won’t live out a lonely life as a spinster.

Catherine: Thank you so much!  As if being a spinster is the worst thing that can happen to a lady.

MM: He won’t be allowed to live his debased life anymore, Your Grace.  At least not to the extent we find out about it.  From now on, he will be discrete.

His Grace: You plan to follow him around to make sure this happens?

What he wouldn’t give to escape off into the country and leave this mess behind!

Ethan: This is absurd.  I’m a grown man, not a child.

His Grace: Then when will you act like it?

Ethan: I have been.  Grown men go to gentleman’s clubs to gamble.  They tell and listen to raunchy jokes as long as no ladies are present.  They find ways to satisfy their needs, whether it be with a mistress or prostitute–

Catherine: Ewe.  Stop it!

His Grace: You are harming delicate ears.  Do so again, and I’ll challenge you to fencing.

MM: Ethan, that kind of talk will not be tolerated here.

Ethan: That kind of talk is why I should never have been allowed to get married.

His Grace: Finally, you said something I heartily agree with.

MM: That’s silly.  There are plenty of rakes, and yet there are tons of romance novels where they find that one special lady who turns them around for the better.

His Grace: But those rakes aren’t with my daughter.

MM: If your daughter had been with one of those rakes, she wouldn’t be in this book.

Catherine: Mind if I say something?

Ethan: I don’t even want to get married.  This arrangement isn’t of my own doing.

MM: Stop complaining.  Marriage is good for a gentleman.  It’s Biblical.  God said it’s not good for man to be alone.

Frustrated lady who goes mostly ignored…for now

Ethan: I wasn’t alone.  I had you bothering me all those years, Mother.

Catherine: Isn’t anyone interested in what I have to say?

MM: How have I been bothering you, Ethan?

Ethan: You’re constantly hounding me about getting married.

MM: And now I won’t have to.  See?  There’s the happy ending to this book, and we’re only six chapters in.

Ethan: No, it’s not a happy ending.  This whole catastrophe is your doing.

Catherine: I have some opinions I’d like to share.

MM: It’s not a catastrophe.  If this was a horror novel, then yes.  But it’s a romance.  Romances are full of fun and love and sex–

His Grace: My pure daughter in bed with… with…  I can’t even say it.

MM: She has to give my son an heir.  What will happen in their bed is strictly for duty to the crown.

Ethan: *rolls eyes*  Can my life get any more embarrassing?

Ruth: I guess we’ll just have to find out the answer to that one.  :D

Ethan: You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?

Ruth: Maybe a little too much. 

Ethan: I’ve had enough.  I’m out of here.  *leaves*

MM: To do what? Ethan, what are you going to do? *follows him*

His Grace: Whatever it is he plans to do, I hope I don’t find out about it from the Tittletattle.  *also leaves*

Catherine: Doesn’t anyone care about what I think? *crosses her arms, huffs, and leaves*