Ruth Ann Nordin's Blog, page 94

Deleted Scene #4: The Cold Wife

In this scene, Carrie makes another attempt to get Justin to insist on an annulment by spending a lot of his money.  Along the way, she runs into Mr. Mitchell (Jake Mitchell who is the hero in An Inconvenient Marriage–before he meets Sue Lewis).  The scene ends with Justin walking in on Helen giving Carrie and Mary a very private conversation.

Also, the Clarks I refer to does involve Joanna Clark who was engaged to Jake Mitchell.  At this point in time, Joanna Clark was still married to the man she loved instead of Jake.  That marriage, of course, didn’t last (as you find out in An Inconvenient Marriage).  The Clarks were planning to adopt Ryan until he had the accident and became slightly crippled.  In An Inconvenient Marriage, you see Ryan in the Christmas play that Jake Mitchell attended (and he sat next to Justin and Carrie who had adopted Ryan).

This scene also takes place after the book club discussion, so you get a slight reference to that.

(And yes, I’m aware of the errors in this passage, but since it’s the original version, I’m keeping it in.  If nothing else, it shows how far I’ve come as I strive to keep improving.)  :D

On the way to the library, a thought occurred to Carrie.  One of the things her father and brother praised her on was her ability to be wise with money.  Well, Justin probably liked that too since being rich was important to him because it impressed his clients.  What man wanted a wife who would foolishly spend a large chunk of his money at one time?  Her decision made, she went to the bank.

When she went up to the teller, the young man looked at her as if she was crazy when she requested the amount she wanted to withdraw.  “Mrs. Monroe, I can’t give you that much money without your husband’s permission.”

“Why not?” she demanded.  If they were married, then that money was as much hers as it was Justin’s.

“Because we have to make sure Mr. Monroe is alright with you taking that money out.  Now, if you wish to withdraw a lesser amount, then we can do that for you without asking him about it first.”

She crossed her arms.  “What good is being married to him if I can’t take out the amount I want?”

“We are bound by rules and regulations.”

“I don’t care much for your rules and regulations.  If I was Mr. Monroe, you would hand me the money without any questions but since I am a woman, you forbid me my rights.”

He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment.  “You have to understand that your husband is the primary account holder.  If anyone but him withdraws more than a certain amount at one time, we have to have his permission, even if your name is listed on his account.”

“What if I was the primary account holder?  What if I opened my own account and had this same amount of money in it?  Would I be able to withdraw the amount I want to?”

“Yes but we need your husband’s signature to open an account for you.”

“What?” She couldn’t believe her ears.  “What if I wasn’t married?”

“Then we would have your father or brother sign up for the account on your behalf.”

She was getting angrier by the second.  “I don’t care very much for that rule.”

He shrugged.  “I didn’t make it up.  I’m just following it.”

“Fine.” Now she was more determined to spend Justin’s money than she was before.  She turned on her heel to leave the bank when Mr. Mitchell stopped her.

“May I have a word with you in my office?” he asked.

“Did I do something wrong?” She wondered why the vice president wished to speak with her.  It wasn’t like she created a scene.  She merely had a conversation with the teller.  Fine.  So it was an argument, but she had kept her voice low so no one else noticed.

“No.  What I have to discuss with you isn’t related to the teller.”

She debated whether or not she wanted to find out what Mr. Mitchell wanted but decided that she would hear him out since he was one of the few people who actually believed her about Harrison Grant Sr. taking Mr. Parker’s wallet out of his pocket.  She nodded and followed him to his office.  She sat in the chair across from his.

He left the door open and sat in his seat.  “I looked into the situation with Mr. Parker and discovered that Mr. Grant took the wallet as you said.  I was wondering if you would be willing to go to the Friday night dance this week?  Mr. Grant and his son go there, and I’d like you to keep an eye on both Grants for me.  I will be watching them as well but since I missed the pickpocket incident on Monday, I realize I can’t catch everything that they do.  I will pay you this amount for your assistance.  Of course, Mr. Monroe will be your escort since he’s your husband.”

She looked at the amount that he wrote down.  It was a considerable amount in light of the fact that the dance would only be three hours.

“All I need you to do is tell me what you see the Grants doing,” he continued.  “I will take care of things as discretely as possible.”

“So you suspect that the Grants are trying to create a monopoly in this town?”

“Yes.  Mr. Leroy gave me the job of proving it.”

She would like to see justice done for what happened to her father and the other men who had recently gone bankrupt because of the Grants, so she agreed.  “Do I need my husband’s permission to receive the payment?” She motioned to the paper in her hand.

“No.  I’m not hiring your husband.  I’m hiring you,” he replied with a grin.

At least there was one person on this planet who was treating her as an equal in all of this mess.  “Then I will be glad to help.”

When she left the bank, she felt better, but she was still determined to spend Justin’s money, so she went to the furniture store and asked to speak with the manager.

“How may I help you, Mrs. Monroe?” Mr. Evans asked.

“May I purchase some new furniture?  I tried to take cash out of my husband’s account at the bank, but I wasn’t able to do that, and I’m tired of looking at my husband’s old furniture.” There was very little appeal in the stuff he had collected and the house would look brighter and warmer if she had her choice in how to decorate it.

“I can put the amount due on his account and bill him,” the man replied.

She sighed with relief.  Finally, she was getting somewhere.  “Great!  I’m ready to redecorate my home.” And she picked out everything that caught her fancy with little regard to the price tag.  She even bought a new rocker for Helen since her old one was ready to break, and she bought a bedroom set and high chair for the Clarks on Ryan’s behalf.

Her next stop was to buy sheets for the new beds she had purchased.  She also ordered new sheets, blankets, and pillows for the orphanage and the nursing home.  Her purchases there, too, were put on Justin’s account.  When she was done there, she went to the tailor shop and presented the man there with Justin’s measurements and ordered a complete new wardrobe for him.  She knew he preferred dark gray, dark blue and black suits, so she stuck with those colors.  Justin obviously didn’t take the time to shop for himself.  As an afterthought, she added undergarments to that list.  She went to the toy store and bought toys for the orphans.  She bought new pots, pans and dishes for Justin’s kitchen since Jim had broken several things when Louis made him nervous.  She bought two new horses for Franklin, her stagecoach driver, since the two he had were getting too old to be comfortable pulling stagecoaches anymore.  She went to the handyman in town and ordered some minor repairs and improvements to the house to be done.  All of the running around she did took up her afternoon, so she wasn’t able to get to the library.  She decided she would have to go by and check out the books on Oregon the next day.

Satisfied that she made a good dent in Justin’s bank account from her day of spontaneous spending, she walked back to her home.  To her surprise, she saw Mary and Helen walking down the sidewalk.

“Are you feeling better than you did this morning?” Mary asked her once they caught up with her.

“That depends.  Is my reputation further tarnished?” she replied.

“Oh, don’t pay people any mind,” Helen told her.  “Life’s too short to worry about what others are thinking.  It’s what you and Justin think that’s important.”

“Don’t worry about Amy, Amelia and Patricia,” Mary said.  “They are going to be too concerned with their own love lives to worry about this morning.”

Carrie sighed.  “I suppose you’re right.” She could only hope the talk of her being The Cold Wife would start to die down.  If people would get their own lives, it would happen that much sooner.

“We were just on our way to see you since you haven’t been by the nursing home lately,” Helen commented.  “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“I’m sorry, Helen.” She was right, so Carrie didn’t deny it.

“I understand why.  I’ve been embarrassing you.  I won’t do that anymore.”

“I know you didn’t mean any harm in it.” The woman had been a great source of strength for her and Mary after they lost their mothers.  Unlike Carrie, Mary had lost her mother when she was sixteen.  Carrie considered the fact that she was fortunate to have had the extra years with her parent.  “Do you want to come to my house?  Neither one of you has seen what I did with the parlor.”

“You fixed up the parlor?” Mary asked, not hiding her surprise.

“It was horrible before.  I don’t know why Justin bothered entertaining in there.  The whole house needs redecorating.”

“Are you going to do that?” Helen wondered.

“I thought I’d do him a favor,” Carrie softly admitted.

The old woman smiled.  “Of course.”

It was obvious that Helen didn’t buy it, but Carrie wasn’t going to argue with her.  Let the woman think whatever she wanted to.  She couldn’t change people’s minds.  They would discover the truth in a week and a half when she was on the train going to Oregon to be with her father.

“I’d like to see what you’ve done with the parlor,” Helen said.

Carrie walked with them to her house and let them in.  She suddenly remembered her plan to fix Mary up with Jim.  “You know, I believe Jim has finished making one of his pizzas.  He usually makes them at this time in the day, and Mary, you missed out on tasting one of his creations at the dinner party on Friday.”

“Jim did make a tasty pizza,” Helen agreed.  “You won’t be sorry if you try it.”

Mary nodded.  “As long as he has already made it, I’ll be happy to do so.  I don’t want him to go out of his way for me.”

“Oh, he loves any excuse to cook, but I can smell that he’s made one of his pizzas already,” Carrie remarked.  “It smells like the pineapple and ham one.”

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Monroe,” Geoffrey greeted as he left the kitchen to welcome them.  “I was just sampling another pizza.  Jim’s quite the sensation around here.  Even Louis is helping him today.”

“You’re kidding.” Carrie was shocked to hear this.

“No.  Ever since two Fridays ago, they’ve been getting along beautifully.  It’s no longer a war zone in the kitchen at dinner time.”

She laughed.  “Imagine that.  I never thought I’d see the day when they got along.  You should have been here on Friday,” she told Mary as they walked to the kitchen.  “Louis was ready to kill him.”

“I’m sure it was a sight to see,” Mary replied.

“It’s too bad that awful Mr. Tyndall forced you to go to his dinner party instead.”

“I didn’t mind.  I had fun playing billiards.”

“Mary, would you like to get married?” Carrie asked before she opened the kitchen door.

“Yes.  I said I did this morning.”

Helen grinned at Mary.  “I thought there was more to that Friday than playing the game at Mr. Tyndall’s.”

Mary blushed.

Carrie didn’t understand what was going on but decided to ignore the exchange.  She opened the kitchen door and led them into the room.  “You won’t be sorry you came by to sample Jim’s cooking.” She turned to Constance, Louis, and Jim who were laughing as they ate some pizza at the breakfast bar.  “Is there enough pizza for us?”

“There is always room for more,” Jim cheerfully said.  “I also made a cherry pizza for dessert.”

“He has a wide variety of menu options,” Carrie told Mary.  “He’s extremely creative and smart.  He’s twenty-four and single too.  He’s also fun to be with.  He would make a wonderful husband.”

Constance and Louis gave her a startled look.

Jim glanced uneasily at her.

Carrie turned to Jim.  “Are those plates for us?” She motioned to the three new plates on the breakfast bar.

“Yes, they are, Mrs. Monroe.” He slowly said her name, emphasizing the Mrs. part of it.

She thought it was odd that he did that but decided to ignore it.  As she sat next to her two friends, she told Mary about Jim’s plan to open his own restaurant.  “He’s going to be a big success.  Once everyone tastes how good his pizzas are, they’ll be coming from all over the state to eat them.  Of course, I do what I can to help.”

Jim cleared his throat.  “I believe I need to go to the grocery store.  Louis, do you have that list of ingredients we’ll need for tonight’s dinner?”

Louis closed his jaw and nodded.  “It’s over here.”

Jim eagerly followed the older man to the other side of the kitchen.

“He’s modest,” Carrie told Mary.

Constance took a good look at Carrie.  “If you don’t mind my saying so, Mrs. Monroe, you are taking an unusual interest in the cook.”

Carrie blinked in surprise.  “Really?  I thought everyone knew what I thought of his cooking.”

“Well, they know what you think of his cooking.  They just weren’t aware of what you thought of him on a personal level.”

“I wonder why.  I never hid the fact that I admire his talents, and he is a good man.”

“But what about Mr. Monroe?” Mary asked.

“What about him?” Carrie asked in return.

“Don’t you think well of him?”

She shrugged.  “He’s nice too but I don’t see what that has to do with Jim.”

Jim quickly left the kitchen while Louis and Constance started cleaning the dishes.

“Why did he leave in such a hurry?” Carrie wondered.

“I want those groceries as soon as possible,” Louis explained.

Carrie sighed.  She had hoped to tell Jim something about Mary or get a dialogue going between them.  She decided she would have to wait for another day to do so.  “Alright.  I suppose I could show you two the parlor now,” she told Mary and Helen.

The two women nodded and walked with her to the room.

“Carrie, you did a splendid job!” Mary gushed.  She turned to Helen.  “I see she started her crystal figurine collection.”

“Yes,” Carrie replied.  “Aren’t they wonderful?  Justin gave me most of them.”

“He did?  Wasn’t that thoughtful?” Helen commented.

“It was,” she admitted.

They remained silent for a moment.

Carrie spoke up.  “You know, Mary, you might want to seriously consider marriage.  If you find a man to your liking, you would make a wonderful wife.”

Mary’s face turned bright red.  “I do have someone in mind.”

“I knew it!” Helen snapped her fingers.  “I think he’s just as taken with you as you are with him.”

Carrie figured that they had to be talking about Jim.  Maybe that was why Jim bolted out of the kitchen.  He’s very shy around women he likes.  It made perfect sense.  It probably didn’t help that they were in a room full of people.  Carrie was going to have to arrange it so that she would have Mary over when it was just Jim in the kitchen.  Then they could get a chance to talk to each other.

“Do you want to have a seat?” Carrie offered.

They nodded.  She sat on the couch.  Mary sat next to her and Helen sat in the chair across from them.

“Helen, I’ve been meaning to ask you about a particular topic but didn’t want to discuss it at the nursing home,” Mary slowly began.  “It’s a personal issue.  Considering the fact that my mother and Carrie’s mother died before they could tell us about it, I thought Carrie might like to discuss it too.”

Carrie glanced at Mary out of curiosity.  What was her friend talking about?

“Is it lovemaking?” Helen asked.

The way the old woman just went and blurted it out made Carrie want to jump out of the couch and flee from the room.  She felt her cheeks grow hot.  What was Mary thinking?

As if to answer her question, Mary turned to her and said, “I thought that if you knew about it, you wouldn’t be afraid to consummate your marriage.”

“That’s why you think I haven’t done it yet?” Carrie asked, bewildered and horrified.

“It’s an unknown.  I know I’m nervous about it.”

“But you aren’t married.”

“No, but I hope to be someday, and I’d like to get an idea of what to expect.  Wouldn’t you like to know more about it from an experienced woman’s point of view?”

“I don’t know if this is appropriate talk.”

Helen leaned back in her chair.  “I don’t consider any topic to be inappropriate.  When you get to be my age, you don’t have time for useless small talk.  I don’t know how much longer God will grant me so I just come right out and speak my mind.  You’ll learn to do the same when you are older.  I’d be happy to tell you what I know.”

Carrie wanted the floor to open up and swallow her.  Justin could come home at any moment and he’d find them talking about making love.  Worse, one of the servants could walk by and overhear them.  As Helen gave her answer, Carrie rushed to shut the parlor doors.

“You need to hear this too, Carrie,” Helen said.  “This might be the thing you need to finally take that handsome husband of yours to bed with you.  So, sit on down and let’s have a real heart to heart.  This is interesting.”

Realizing the two women would just stare at her until she did as Helen said, she mutely obeyed the older woman and prayed that she would be done before Justin came home.

“You know, my first time wasn’t all that great,” Helen admitted.  “People have a tendency to talk about it as if it’s a life altering event, but the truth is, it’s a natural part of life.  It is what you make of it.”

This caught Carrie’s attention.  “Well, Judy said that her husband enjoys it a lot more than she does.”

The woman smiled.  “I think it’s easier for men to receive the immediate benefit of sexual relations.  They’re built that way.”

“Why would God build men to enjoy it more than women?  That’s not fair.” Was God on this whole ‘men being more important than women’ thing too?

“No, men don’t enjoy it more than women do.  I think men and women enjoy it equally, but for different reasons.  Lovemaking isn’t simply the physical act.  It’s also an emotional bonding between the husband and wife.  It brings two people closer together.”

“Judy said that he got more physical pleasure from it.”

“Well, then she needs to tell him what he can do to make her feel good.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

The woman’s eyebrows furrowed.  “Haven’t you ever explored your body to know what you like and don’t like?”

Mary shook her head.

Carrie blushed.  “No.  It’s wrong.”

“Says who?” Helen wondered.

“The church.  We are supposed to be pure.” Carrie replied.

“Hmm…I do recall the church doctrine clearly stating that missionary, that’s man on top, is the only appropriate position.”

“Oh.  I didn’t realize that,” Mary commented.

The woman rolled her eyes.  “My goodness girls, let’s be reasonable here.  All that stuff about not being able to figure out what makes you feel good and the position you do it isn’t based on the Bible at all.  Those are man-made rules.  God has given us a world of variety and five senses to discover different pleasures.  Think about it.  When you look at a flowerbed, you see a wide range of colors and smell different aromas.  There’s not a single ugly or bad smelling flower out there.  They are all beautiful and pleasing but for different reasons.  Lovemaking is the same way.  I was married for fifty-eight years and can assure you that there are many positions a husband and wife can do and each position feels good for different reasons.  As for experiencing an orgasm, I had to discover on my own what to do to make that happen, and then I showed my husband what to do.  Men don’t have the same parts that women do, so they don’t know what will make us feel good.  You’ll be doing this for yourself as much as for him.  He doesn’t know what to do.  You have to instruct him.  I had to overcome my own feelings of awkwardness in that task but it was well worth it.  Why go through years of ‘that was alright’ loving when you can have ‘that was amazing’ loving instead?”

“So you had an orgasm every time?” Carrie asked.

“No, I didn’t.  But I did often.  You remember what I said about variety.  There are different kinds of sex.  You can have sex for an orgasm, but some other reasons you can have it are for connecting emotionally, for comfort, for conceiving children, and so on.” She paused as she considered her next statement.  “If you want to get more pleasure out of it, then you will have to open your heart to him.  You have to allow yourself to be vulnerable.  Until you offer yourself completely to him, your pleasure will be limited, physically and emotionally.”

“That makes me feel a lot better,” Mary remarked.  “I don’t feel so nervous anymore.”

Helen nodded.  “Good.  That was my goal.  I think you two have terrific men.  Mary, I can tell that your love interest cares for you as well.”

Mary smiled.

“And Carrie,” Helen began, turning to her, “you really don’t give Justin enough credit.  He’s very considerate of you.  Since he treats you as well as he does outside the bedroom, he’ll treat you just as well in bed too.”

At that moment, Carrie saw the parlor doors open.

“And there’s no reason why you won’t enjoy having loving with him.  It can be a lot of fun.  You just need to do it,” Helen finished.

Carrie nearly fainted when she saw Justin standing at the door.

“Apparently, I missed a good discussion,” he said.

“Well, I think it’s time for me to take Helen back to the nursing home,” Mary said as she stood up.  “It’s nice to see you, Mr. Monroe.”

“Good afternoon, Miss Duff, Mrs. Ritter,” he replied.

She wanted to leave with them but knew she couldn’t since she lived there.  She quickly stood up and went to the window and pretended to be interested in straightening the curtain.  She shouldn’t have taken her eyes off the window.  If she hadn’t, then she would have seen Justin coming and could have avoided the embarrassing situation she was currently in.

He walked over to her.  “While I was at work, I got a surprise visit from several store employees who handed me bills for items you purchased earlier today.”

She was so relieved that he decided to ignore the conversation that Helen, she and Mary were having when he arrived that she didn’t mind having to explain the exorbitant amount of money she spent that day.

“Do you realize you spent six months of my salary in a couple of hours?” he asked her.

She was hoping it would be a year’s worth.  It didn’t occur to her how much money he made.  Wow, he really is rich.  Dismissing her observation, she shrugged.  “Now you know what a big spender I am.  I’m sure you would like to annul this marriage as soon as possible.”

“I did take note of what you spent the money on and you didn’t spend any of it on yourself.”

“Does that matter?”

“Yes, it does because I can claim the orphanage and nursing home gifts on my taxes next year.  You just gave me a good-sized deduction.”

She had no idea what he was talking about.

“When you donate items to non-profit organizations, you end up having to pay less in taxes,” he explained.  “You actually did me a favor without realizing it.”

She frowned.  How was she supposed to upset him when he insisted on looking at the bright side of everything she did?  She tried another tactic.  “Well, next time I may spend all that money on myself.”

“I’d like to see you try,” he said.  “It would take a lot of dresses and jewelry to equal that amount.”

He got her there.  She had all the dresses and jewelry that she needed.

“So,” he continued, “to say thank you, I’m taking you out to eat at any place you choose.”

The last thing she needed was a reward.  “Isn’t there anything that annoys you?” she finally asked.

“Of course there is but I’m not going to tell you what it is because you’ll do it.  I know you’re only doing these things so I’ll force you out of here.” He put his arm around her and glanced out the window.  “It is a nice day for a walk.  We could even go see Ryan and take him to the park.  I bet if I kissed you, he would laugh again.”

She was tempted to take him up on his offer.  She knew that Ryan was better off in a home with adopted parents, but she was going to miss him when he left the orphanage.  She shook her head.  “You’ll use anyone or anything to try to convince me to stay with you, won’t you?”

“I love you, Carrie, and if you think I’m just going to run off to a corner and watch you leave me at the end of the month, you’ve got another thing coming.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Deadly.” He kissed the top of her head.  “You smell good.”

She groaned so he wouldn’t know she was enjoying being this close to him.  “Fine.  I’ll go to dinner with you.” She stepped away from him before she did something she’d regret, like kiss him.  “Oh, before I forget, Mr. Mitchell wants me to watch the Grants at the dance this Friday night, so clear your calendar for it.”

“Is this because of the Parker incident?”

“You know about that?”

“I knew you were right about it.”

“Anyway, he’s paying me to do it, so as you can see, I can make my own way in this world if I wanted to.”

“I know you can.  I just hope you choose to stay with me instead.”

“I suppose you’ll want me to give you the money I’ll make to pay you back for all the purchases I made today?”

He shrugged.  “No.  You can use it for whatever you want.”

She didn’t hide her surprise.  “Really?”

“I also noticed your purchases today included things for me and this house.  Which reminds me…Why did you order new bedroom furniture sets?”

“I decided the time period themes weren’t suitable for a woman.  Each room looks like a museum instead of an actual bedroom.  I figure that fall, winter, spring and summer themes will work much better.  I hope you don’t mind all the frilly curtains and bed sheets.”

“Then explain the Christmas and Easter bedroom sets you bought.”

“There are only four seasons and you have six bedrooms, so I had to choose two popular holidays to go with.  Children will like Christmas and Easter the most.”

He grinned.  “Children?  Whose children are going to be in those rooms?”

She stopped herself from saying theirs.  She didn’t realize that she was subconsciously thinking such a thing when she made her purchases.

“I caught you, Mrs. Monroe.  You do want to be in this marriage, even if you can’t admit it yet,” he noted.

“I do not.” She couldn’t.  “Perhaps I am thinking of your next wife and what she’ll want.”

“Uh huh.” He clearly didn’t believe her.  “And what if she would rather have the time period themes instead?”

“Then that will be her problem.  She can go out and do her own shopping to change it back, but I won’t do it for her.” She didn’t know why the thought of him with another woman bothered her as much as it did.  She refused to dwell on it.  “Are we going to eat or what?”

“Sure thing, Mrs. Monroe.  Oops.  I mean, Miss Allen.  Who knows?  Maybe I’ll find the next Mrs. Monroe at the restaurant.”

She almost tripped him with her foot as he walked past her.  How dare he even think of looking for someone else?  She shook her head.  What was she doing?

“Are you coming?” He waited for her at the parlor doors.

“Yes, I’m coming.” She reluctantly followed him out of the room.

Inspiration For the Book: The Cold Wife (and the value of men)

I still like the book club scene where the characters debate, but given the revised version of The Cold Wife, there was nowhere I could keep the scene and make it work with the rest of the plot.  I had to toss it out with the 40,000 words I deleted.

This is why I wrote the book club scene:

This probably doesn’t come as a surprise based on my other books, but I think the United States culture doesn’t value men enough.  (I haven’t lived outside the US, so I can’t compare countries.) I think it’s a shame that men are mocked on TV or movies.  Usually, they’re shown as lazy idiots who need their wives to organize their lives for them.  The husband who needs his wife to figure things out for him is becoming the norm in comedy.  Well, it’s not funny to me.   Then there’s the super-strong woman who is the one who protects the man–and she can even beat him up.  So men are also “weak” and unable to protect women.  If it weren’t for women, such men wouldn’t be able to survive in this world.

I know I’m old-fashioned.  I know I’m not “with it” and that I’m a “square”.  That’s fine with me.  But I like being married, and I feel better when my husband is here.  When he was in South Korea, I had to manage the whole house (writing, my kids, the schools, any repairs, etc) all by myself.  I felt vulnerable.  While I had a couple of friends to help, it wasn’t the same as having him here.  There is a level of protection and support that my husband can give me that no one else can.

I think men are not valued enough.  I think their strengths are often overlooked.  Men and women are inherently different (physically and emotionally).  I know there are exceptions, but overall, the differences exist.  And those differences work to their advantage in marriage.  The man and woman works as a team.  Together, they form a complete unit.

I love the fact that my husband is stronger than me because he can lift all the heavy stuff.  I like that while I am emotional about a situation, he’s able to come at it with a cool head.   He’s able to discipline the kids better than me because I tend to get all soft (it’s the nurturing part of me that kicks in).  He lets the kids do more than I do.  I still tend to baby them by making their meals, but he’ll have them make their own meals now that they’re old enough.  He goes out and cleans the gutters and does other jobs I’d rather not do because (quite frankly) I’d rather clean up the house instead of climbing on the roof or tending to the yard.

I don’t want to be like a man.  I want to be a woman.  I don’t want to take over the man’s job.  I want my husband to do it.  Men are smart.  Men might not be all mushy when it comes to love, but when I was sick and couldn’t take care of the kids, he did the work for me.  Men have their way of showing love.  Some are more verbal about it than others, but they can and do love deeply.  They are great protectors and great role models for their children.  They should be appreciated for their strengths instead of being ridiculed.  A man who works to provide for his wife and children is often overlooked and highly unappreciated.  He’s faithful, he’s steady, he’s dependable.  Maybe not “exciting” according to the culture’s standards, but he’s a hero in all of my romance novels and in real life.

Deleted Scene #3: The Cold Wife

Here’s another scene from the original version of  The Cold Wife.  I’ll discuss this one in tomorrow’s post.

This actually comes in two parts:

Part 1:

Justin decided to try something else.  “Carrie, you’re right about me putting work before you.  That’s going to change.”

She didn’t respond.

He realized she needed proof in order to believe him, so he would offer something tangible she could hold onto.  “Give me a place to be and a time to be there and I’ll show up.”

Her eyebrows furrowed.

“I can’t show you that you are first in my life unless you let me.”

“It won’t change my mind.  I’m not going to go through yesterday again.”

“You won’t.  I promise.”

She looked like she was ready to protest when she suddenly smiled.  It wasn’t a happy smile.  It was a smile of someone who was up to something sneaky.  “Alright.  I’m going to my book club meeting Wednesday at ten o’clock.  Care to join me?”

“Yes.  I will.”

“Maybe you should ask me what the book we’ll be discussing is called before you commit yourself to it.”

He shrugged.  “It doesn’t matter.  The important thing is that I’ll be with you.”

“The book is called An End to Male Oppression by Natalie Greenwood.  I chose the book when I learned of our engagement.”

“Sounds interesting.”

“You’ll have to read the book if you plan to attend.”

“Can I read your copy?”

“No.  You’ll have to either go to the library or go to the bookstore for your own book.  I made some unflattering comments in the margins of the book that reflect my current predicament.”

“Are you sure you won’t let me read your copy?  I’m sure it’ll be more entertaining than a clean copy.”

“Believe me.  You wouldn’t like to read what I wrote.”

“Why spare me the misery?  It might get me to agree to the annulment if I knew just how terrible you think I am.”

“I want you to pick it up so the salesman or librarian knows you’re going to read it.”

“Alright.  I’ll even tell the salesman why I’m picking it up.”

She appeared apprehensive.

“Is that a problem?” he innocently wondered.  He knew the rumors that were going on around her.  People referred to her as The Cold Wife, and this would only add fuel to the fire.

She took a deep breath.  “No.  There’s no problem at all.”

He could tell that she was lying.  She didn’t like the gossip anymore than he did.  “Great.  I’ll pick up a copy bright and early tomorrow morning.”

***

Here’s Part 2

Justin arrived at Mary’s house for the book club meeting.  After the butler showed him to the parlor which was decorated to her father’s liking, he sat on one of the couches.  He hoped that Carrie would sit next to him.

Mary walked into the parlor with the book in her hands.  She laughed.  “Carrie said you were coming but I didn’t believe it.  This is a horrible book.”

He grinned as he stood up.  “At least I know someone will agree with me today.”

“I am surprised you came.  You certainly have a lot of courage.  Carrie made sure to invite a couple of women who don’t think very well of men.  You’re going to need to remember that when they give you a hard time.”

“I expected that to be the case.” He appreciated Mary’s warning.  He could understand why his uncle found her appealing.  “It was nice of you to bring my uncle lunch on Sunday.  Sometimes he gets so caught up in work, he doesn’t remember to eat.”

“It was nothing.  I know that you and your uncle are under a lot of pressure with the Grants doing everything they can to wipe out their competitors.  You’ll have to forgive Carrie for not understanding how things are in your line of work.  She grew up with a father who had a nine to five job and stayed home every night.  He attended dinner parties, but clients didn’t dictate how he did things.  I explained to her that your work is a lot like my father’s.  I’ve gone to a couple of meetings with him and I saw how demanding some of the men were.  It’s hard to please everyone.”

The doorbell chimed.

“Are you ready for a rough hour?” she asked.

“I’ve been to worse things than this.”

She nodded and went to greet the women as they arrived.  He didn’t recognize Amelia and Patricia Crawford or Amy Rose.  Carrie was the last to arrive and he welcomed her with a big hug and a smile.

“I can’t believe you came,” she said.

“Of course, I came,” he replied.  He sat down and patted the seat next to him.  “I saved a place for you.”

“Trying to butter her up so she won’t tell us how you men really are?” Amelia folded her arms and glared at him from her chair.

“Now, let’s be civil,” Mary stated as she sat in her own chair.  “It certainly is commendable for him to come here in the middle of a work day.”

Patricia and Amy sat on the other couch.

“Did you actually read the book?” Patricia asked him.

“I did,” he replied.  “The author condemns women for staying home, having children and loving their husbands.”

Amy frowned.

Carrie spoke up.  “I guess that’s one way of looking at it, but what I got out of it is that she’s telling women that they have the freedom to choose what course of action they should take in life.”

Amelia nodded.  “Exactly.  That was well said, Carrie.”

“I suppose you think it’s wrong for a woman to actually have a choice,” Amy huffed at him.

The maid brought in two trays of food.  Mary looked relieved by the distraction.  “I had the chef prepare shrimp cocktail, a fruit pastry and finger sandwiches for this occasion.  Please help yourself to some cider too.”

“Wow,” Justin began, “I had no idea a book club meeting would involve food.  This is nice.  Thank you, Mary.”

“Hmm…” Amy seemed to consider her words before she spoke.  “Is that why you came?  To eat the goodies?”

He already didn’t like the atmosphere in the room, but considering the book they were discussing, he realized it was par for the course.  “No.  I came here because my wife asked me to be here.”

Mary smiled.  “Well, it’s nice that you did.”  Turning to the other women, she asked, “You’re familiar with Mr. Monroe of the Monroe Investing Firm?”

“Yes,” Amy responded.  “We’re also aware of how he conspired with Mr. Allen and the other Mr. Monroe to force Carrie into a marriage she desperately wished to avoid.”

Carrie cleared her throat.  “To be fair, Justin wasn’t a part of that arrangement.  He was told I wished for the marriage.  It wasn’t until after we were married that he learned the truth.  But anyway, we’re not here to discuss that.  We’re here to discuss this book.  So, what did everyone think of it?”

Justin wondered why she felt the need to clarify how they got married to the other women.  He assumed that she wanted them to believe the worst about him.  Whatever her reason was, he thought it was nice of her to do that.

When no one said anything, she continued, “I confess that I haven’t read this type of book before, so I can’t compare it to similar literature.  I think it was well written.  The author certainly took the time to provide examples from her life to back up her claim that women should be given more choices.”

“Well, it’s only reinforced what I’ve been thinking all along,” Amelia said as she helped herself to the fruit pastry.  “The author, Natalie Greenwood, did an excellent job of explaining why men feel the need to force women to stay home.  Lord forbid they should actually let women into the workplace.  A woman can do a job as well as a man can.”

“God gave us intelligence too,” Amy agreed.  “It seems that society is opposed to a woman displaying that intelligence.”

“Don’t Mrs. Parker, Mrs. Henderson and Mrs. Wilcox have their own businesses?” Justin asked.

“Dress making and catering,” Patricia responded.  “Those are chores a woman is already familiar with.  What about the more challenging jobs?”

“Like jobs that require mental acuity,” Amy added.

“Well, my father lets me do his bookkeeping and paperwork when the demand gets to be too much,” Mary replied.

“But do you get paid?”

“Why should I?  He’s already been generous with what he’s given me.  He does provide for me though I am an adult.”

“If you were to do those tasks for someone else, you would be paid.  You deserve to be compensated for your work.”

“I am.  My father takes good care of me.”

“Wouldn’t you be happier on your own?”

“No.  I would be lonely.”

“You’re almost twenty-five.  Do you plan to live with your father forever?” Patricia wondered.

“Of course not,” Mary answered.  “I hope to get married.”

“And spend your life chained to yet another man?” Amy pressed.

Mary looked as if she wanted to bolt from the room.

“I believe the book is about the freedom for a woman to choose her own path in life,” Carrie quickly spoke up.  “If a woman wants to marry, then that’s her right.  If she chooses to stay single, that’s her right too.  Natalie was trying to express how important that fundamental right to choose is for a woman.”

“Exactly,” Amelia agreed.  “That is an excellent point, Carrie.  We can all respect your desire to get an annulment when the month is up.  At least then, you’ll get to make your own choices again.”

Patricia looked at him.  “If you were a real gentleman, you would let her out of the marriage now instead of making her suffer for the next week and a half.”

“Well, I’m not suffering,” Carrie softly remarked.  In a louder voice, she said, “Anyway, we are here to talk about the book.  What did everyone think?”

“I liked it,” Amelia said.

“Me too,” Patricia and Amy agreed.

“Well, I didn’t like it,” Mary stated.  “I mean, I do feel sorry for Natalie, but she does men a disservice by saying they’re all bad.”

Amelia turned to him.  “Let’s get a male viewpoint of this book.  What do you think of it?”

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, aware that Carrie was sitting next to him.  What was he thinking when he agreed to come here?  “I admit that I don’t think the author was fair, but since it was geared to turn other women against men, then she certainly did a good job of convincing women why they need to remain single.  If I was a woman, I’d probably swear off men altogether, but in light of the fact that I’m a man, it’s a little difficult for me to do that.”

“Granted, that would be the case,” Patricia consented.  “But do you understand why it’s difficult to be a woman?”

“Not really,” he honestly replied.  “It’s stressful to be a man too.”

“But you get the freedom to work and make something of yourself.  Meanwhile, Carrie has to fade into the background and suffer a life of monotony.  She isn’t allowed to expand her horizons and pursue her goals.”

He was beginning to get upset.  Fade into the background?  Suffer a life of monotony?  Is that what women thought of marriage?  “So, none of you are married?” he asked, looking at the three women he hadn’t known until that morning.

“Goodness no,” Amelia said.  “I wouldn’t want to be trapped in such a prison.”

“We want the freedom to work,” Patricia agreed.  “As soon as I turn nineteen, I’m moving out of my parents’ home and finding my own place and my own job.  Then I’ll know real liberation.”

“How old are you?” He examined them, realizing that their makeup made them appear older than they were.  When he discovered that they were eighteen, nineteen and twenty-one, he asked, “Have any of you had a chance to work?”

“No,” Amy answered.  “Our fathers want to marry us off, though we have stood our ground and refused any offers at courtship.”

“That’s a shame.”

“What do you mean?”

“Speaking as a man, it’s hard enough to find a good woman to marry.  The last thing men need is a book encouraging wonderful women to stay single.”

“That’s easy for you to say since you enjoy a life outside the home.  You have your independence.  I notice that Carrie doesn’t have a job outside the home.”

“She hasn’t mentioned that she’s wanted one.  As far as I can tell, she’s happiest when she’s visiting friends and going to the nursing home and orphanage.”

“Where are you going with this?” Carrie asked him.

He was too upset to answer her, so he continued talking to the other women instead.  “I believe the author referred to work as ‘that liberating place where men are free to pursue their dreams while their wives are forced into bondage at home, degraded to caring for his noisy, messy and snotty kids because men think women can do nothing of importance.’ Not that I believe that kind of thing but I’m just quoting the author, so you can be assured that I actually did read the book.  Yes, I think it’s a shame that Natalie endured cruel treatment from her husband who beat her, but most men aren’t like that.  How many of you had fathers who beat your mothers?”

No one said anything, which only proved his point.

He continued, “You think that taking care of the elderly or orphans aren’t important because it doesn’t require book smarts?  Granted, Carrie doesn’t get paid for doing those things, but I’ve seen her in action, and she does a better job than some men do at work they are paid for.  As for thinking that men experience total freedom in the workplace, I’ll let you in on a secret.  My life is dictated for me by clients who can make unreasonable demands, and I can lose money if I fail to go along with them or lose the love of my life because I do go along with them.  Most of the time, it’s stressful, but the hope of being with Carrie at the end of the day is what gets me through the rough times.  Do you realize that one of the reasons I work as hard as I do is to provide a good home for my wife?  Men work to support their families because they love their wife and children.  Work isn’t simply a place for men to be ‘kings of their own world,’ as the author puts it.  It’s a way of providing for others.”

“Then work isn’t fun?” Amy wondered.

“Parts of my job are fun.  I do enjoy dinner parties and working with investments, but none of it means anything unless there is someone to share my life with.”

Amelia studied him.  “So what is your view on having children?”

“I want them.  I don’t think the author is correct when she says that children trap a woman to the home.  I understand she said that because she stayed in the abusive relationship with her husband because she couldn’t take her children with her if she left him.  But she can’t apply that same reasoning to a woman who’s with a man who takes good care of her and their children.  My parents died when I was two and my uncle wasn’t married, so I didn’t have a mother figure around when I was growing up.  My uncle did an excellent job of raising me, but there are fundamental differences between men and women and one of those differences is that women are more caring and nurturing than men are.  When a child is sick or hurting, he wants a mother to take care of him.  Men can’t do everything.  They need women.”

“Is that why you are forcing Carrie into staying with you for a month until she can get the annulment?”

“Or is it because you’re being selfish?” Amelia inserted.

He sighed.  “Fine.  I’m being selfish.  I love her.  I’ve been in love with her since I first saw her.  She was pretty back then and as the years have gone by, she’s gotten more beautiful.  I’m friends with her brother and I learned about her from him.  I was too shy to act on my feelings, and my lack of experience with women didn’t help.  I assumed that she would marry someone who had the courage to speak to her.  I thought I was going to end up like my uncle.  So when I found out that the marriage had been arranged between us, I jumped at the chance to marry her.  I mean, look at her.  What man wouldn’t be thrilled to marry her?”

Carrie’s face turned bright red.

He thought over his next words.  “She did tell me that she wanted out of the marriage after the wedding.” He shrugged.  “I thought if she got a chance to know me that she might want to stay with me.  I couldn’t just give her up without trying to win her love.”

To his surprise, Amelia put her hand to her heart and smiled at him.  “I have misjudged you, Mr. Monroe.  You do honestly love Carrie.”

“Why do you want an annulment?” Amy asked her.  “You have the real thing.”

“Hold onto him,” Patricia agreed.  “Mr. Monroe, I apologize for my harsh words.  You’re right.  This is a horrible book.  Shame on you, Carrie, for making him and us read it.”

Carrie looked startled.

“Helen Ritter is right.  You need to consummate your marriage,” Amelia agreed.  “The poor man has been very patient with you.” She looked at Patricia and Amy.  “I don’t know about you, but I’m going to find my beloved Samuel and tell him I’ll marry him!”

“We should find John and Kenneth and make things right with them,” Amy told Patricia.

“Thank you for showing us that men can be good,” Amy told Justin.

Patricia shook her head at Carrie before she followed her two friends out of the house.

Carrie frowned at Justin.  “You just turned them against me.”

He didn’t understand what the problem was.  “I just told them what I thought about the book.”’

“No.  You humiliated me!”

“How?”

“Now they’re going to tell everyone that I’m being unreasonable.  Everyone is going to feel sorry for you.”

“Carrie, I think you’re blowing this out of proportion,” Mary cautiously inserted.  “All he did was profess his love for you.”

“And you don’t see how that makes me look?” Carrie asked her.

“It makes you look like you’re lucky to have him.”

“My whole life has been falling apart ever since my father went bankrupt and this just adds insult to injury.”

“I don’t understand you at all.  Anyone else would have been touched by what he said.”

“You know what?  I’m in the room,” he interrupted them.  “I believe this meeting is over.  I have to get back to work where I can experience great freedom and pursue all my dreams.” He angrily walked out of the house.

Books and TV Shows (a random post on stuff I’ve been reading and watching and thinking of writing)

Today’s post is a bunch of randomness.   My thoughts are all jumbled up, and I don’t even know where to start.

I’ll start with some stuff I’ve been reading and plan to read in the very near future…

1. Book I Recently Finished

The Remnant: The Legend of the Seer: a fantasy for young adults and adults

If you go to Amazon or Barnes and Noble, the ebook is around $3.49.  The paperback is $23.

I met M.J. Chrisman (the author) at the writer’s conference I went to last month and was so impressed with him as a person that I bought his book.  He’s 23 and just starting out with his writing.  He’s a really nice guy, and his story was very enjoyable.  The only problem is that this book is the first one in a trilogy, and he hasn’t finished books 2 and 3 yet.  So while the hero’s decision to continue on the quest to defeat the evil invading the world, we are not given the final battle of good vs. evil.  And while the hero has expressed his feelings for his love interest, the fact that she’s a queen and he’s not royalty poses a possible problem for their sweet romance which started in this book.  (When I say sweet, I mean the characters didn’t have sex.)

Disclaimer: For those of you who like to finish the complete series at once, this might not be the kind of thing you want to read right now.  In the meantime, he’s considering finding a publisher for the books.  So this might or might not remain a self-published series, which could push back the time period for when you could finish the series.  At this point in time, he isn’t ready to release books 2 or 3.  I wanted to mention the disclaimer ahead of time in case you’d rather wait for the whole thing to be out before checking it out.  If reading book 1 and waiting is okay with you and if you’re a fantasy lover, I highly recommend his book.

2.  A children’s series that my son discovered and I found myself enjoying…

The Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series by Jeff Kinney

On Amazon and Barnes and Noble

They made three movies so far off the books, and while I see parts of the books in the movies, the books are not just like the movies, which makes it fun because the movies don’t spoil the books or vice versa.  The reason why I read the books at all was because I wanted to know what my kid was reading.  There are some stuff in children’s books I don’t want my kids reading, so I wanted to make sure it was something I could fully approve of.  And I ended up getting hooked on the series myself.  :D  I am reading the books out of order, but I only have two more books to go and I’m done.

3.  I plan to read a Regency when I finish the Diary of a Wimpy kid series.

This is going to be Christmas Angel by Jo Beverley.

Here’s the link on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Before anyone thinks I picked it up because I like the author, that’s not the case.  I have no idea what Jo Beverley writes like, though I’ve seen her name.  The reason I am reading this is because while I was out with a friend yesterday, we came across the book and I thought, “I might be able to write a Regency book that takes place around Christmas.” Since I have no idea how they celebrated Christmas (decorations, games, etc), I figure this book will be research.  I’d rather do research from reading something fun than a dry “how it was done back then” blog post or book.  Most of my research stems from stuff I do find online, but I like to mix it up a bit from time to time.

I Hope to Write Romances that Take Place During the Christmas Season

Now when I say Christmas season, it could start in October and span through the New Year.  For example, I still like the idea for the contemporary Just Good Friends book that starts early November and should take me through New Year’s.  The heroine is in her mid-thirties and her mom is bugging her about not having a boyfriend, so her best friend (the hero) offers to go with her to her younger sister’s wedding.  The hero and heroine agree to act as if they’re dating.  While at the Thanksgiving dinner, the hero gets so annoyed with the mother and sister bugging the heroine about not being engaged that he takes the lie further and says he and the heroine are engaged.  The plan is then to break up, but then after they return to Omaha, her parents come for a surprise visit, making them carry on the lie a bit longer, and the more they continue the lie, the harder it is to be “just friends”.  I want to make a new cover for it since now I can merge two or three pictures onto a cover.

I’d also like to have a Regency take place during the Christmas season, but I haven’t figured out a suitable plot yet.

There is one TV Show I Discovered Recently that I Really Enjoy

While I’m discussing things I enjoy, I thought I’d pass along a creative TV show I recently discovered while browsing Netflix.  Okay.  My husband found it.

The show is called Once Upon a Time.  If  you haven’t heard of it, it’s about fairytale characters who are trapped into our world.  It goes back and forth between their past fairy tale lives and their lives as they are today.  The show features Snow White, Prince Charming, the evil queen, Rumplestiltskin, and Snow White and Prince Charming’s adult daughter Emma.  The queen who was upset when Snow White took the kingdom back from her and married the prince has set a curse on all the fairy tale  characters where they forgot their past lives and live in our world.  Right before the curse took effect, Snow White gave birth to Emma, and the prince put her in a magic wardrobe that took her to our world.  During the curse, time froze for the characters except for Emma who grew up without parents.  On her 28th birthday, she comes to Storybrooke (the town where the characters are trapped).

The show is in its second season, and I like season 2 more than 1, which I didn’t think was possible since I enjoyed season 1 a lot.  What I like about the show is how original it is.  Like I said, it goes back and forth between their past lives and their current lives.  In season 2, it goes into Sleeping Beauty, Mulan, and Captain Hook’s realm, which is in our current time period.  So there are many characters we’re introduced to that stem from the classic fairy tales.  It’s fun to see how their pasts lead to how they are in their current state.  When you understand the background, you get a better picture of their motivation for what they do.  Anyway, it’s something that I haven’t seen done before, and the twists and turns are a lot of fun.

***

Anyone got any good books or TV Shows or movies they’ve read or seen recently?

Things Not Accurate at Barnes and Noble (at the moment)

Please note: I will only email the people who subscribed to be notified when a new release is out after the new book is live on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, AND Smashwords.  It has to be on those three sites before I email you (if you signed up to be on the list).  I don’t like it when authors email over and over with a different link to each site.  So I’m keeping it to one email.  

That all being said, if you notice a new release is somewhere else and wonder why I haven’t emailed you (if you’re on my list), that is why.

And this brings me to today’s post.

I checked Barnes and Noble this morning to see if A Most Unsuitable Earl is up there yet. (It’s not.)  In fact, I noticed a couple of things are wrong on Barnes and Noble while I was there.  Suddenly a Bride and Loving Eliza are no longer free there, but they should be.  I have put them down as free over at Smashwords, and they are free everywhere else that I checked (Amazon, Kobo, Sony, Apple, Diesel).

I also noticed that The Earl’s Inconvenient Wife isn’t even at Barnes and Noble, and it was there two days ago when I checked.

So I have two books at the wrong price and one no longer there and one that has yet to show up.

I think this is a glitch in Barnes and Noble’s system because my books aren’t affected anywhere else, and I read a thread over at the Kindleboards where some other authors are having some issues over there as well.

All I can do on my end is email Smashwords (since those books are distributed through Smashwords) to alert them to the problem.  Since this is happening to other authors as well, I expect this problem will take time to get resolved.

This is the life of a self-published author.  :D  Little things pop up that need your attention, and you can’t guarantee that your book is going to up on a certain site at a certain time because glitches do happen.  But even with the hassles that pop up, I love publishing my own books because I love having full control over the story.  I love making my own covers, too.  I even enjoy the business side to the whole thing.  :D

Hopefully, everything with Barnes and Noble will be resolved soon.

When A Most Unsuitable Earl is live on Barnes and Noble, I’ll send out an email to everyone on my email list to let them know the links where they can buy it.

Inspiration for the Book: The Ending to the Cold Wife

Warning: Do not read this post if you haven’t read The Cold Wife yet and plan to.  This is a huge spoiler.

There was only one ending I could have for this book.  Justin, the hero, needed to know that Carrie loved him, even if he didn’t have any money.  This was especially important since she had to marry him because her father lost his money and wanted to see her financially secure.  While she came around to accepting Justin before she learned he went bankrupt, I wanted to her accept him even though he was poor.

I’m not sure how many people liked the ending, but it was the best possible ending for the book.  Justin would never have been as assured of her love without it, and it paved the way for him to work at the bank by the time An Inconvenient Marriage started.  An Inconvenient Marriage was the first book I wrote in the Virginia trilogy.  I wrote An Unlikely Place for Love second (because I was curious about Mrs. Walker, Sue Lewis’ employer in An Inconvenient Marriage).  After I wrote An Unlikely Place for Love, I decided to write The Cold Wife because Justin Monroe was one of my favorite characters in An Inconvenient Marriage.  While writing it, I incorporated Mr. and Mrs. Walker (Chad and Kate were the hero and heroine in An Unlikely Place for Love), and I was able to line up how Jake Mitchell got his position as the vice president of the bank (which is where he begins in An Inconvenient Marriage).

As a side note, I did show Jake Mitchell’s heartbreak in An Unlikely Place for Love.  Jake Mitchell is one of my all-time favorite characters (because I thought he was extremely complex–which I should talk about in a future post).  Even with the complaints I’ve received on An Inconvenient Marriage, it is one of my personal favorites, and it was the book that showed me I could pull off a comedy.  Anyway, I wanted to see a part of Jake’s past where he was young and just starting out as a teller in the bank (and also how he handled the situation with Joanna and his mother’s death).

Back to The Cold Wife…

Justin would never have been sympathetic toward Sue Lewis and her family’s financial hardships had he not been bankrupt.  He needed to face it first so he could be a good source of support to Jake.  And I gave Justin his money back.  He wasn’t rich by the time An Inconvenient Marriage occurred, but years later, he was.

Deleted Scene #2: The Cold Wife

This Sunday, I thought I’d do another deleted scene from The Cold Wife.  In this one, Justin agrees to dress up as a clown and entertain the children at the orphanage.   Yeah, I know the language is very modern (I wouldn’t write it this way today), but it is what it is so I am posting it as it was in the original version.

          After work, Justin took Carrie out to eat before they went to the orphanage.  He did feel ridiculous wearing the clown outfit, which he was sure was Carrie’s intention, but he was determined to act like he was happy to do it.  If he let her know that this disturbed him, then she would most likely find something else for him to put on that he didn’t want to be caught dead in.  He sat in a chair in the boy’s room while he got ready for the performance.  Mrs. Tobias helped him put on the makeup while Mrs. Edwards and Mrs. Walker got the place set up for the kids.  Carrie and Mary were busy running back and forth to get the supplies to whoever needed it.

Helen sat in the chair a few feet from him and shook her head.  “You’ve got it bad.”

He shifted uncomfortably in the chair.  He realized that his feelings for Carrie were evident to anyone who cared to notice.  “Do you think this will do any good?”

“I think you get deeper under her skin every day, though she’s too stubborn to admit it.  Don’t get me wrong.  I think the world of that girl but she’s being downright senseless.  I just pray to God that she’ll see the light before the month is up.  She’s going to regret losing you if she’s going to go through with the annulment.”

Mrs. Tobias left for a few moments to get the wig and fake nose.

“If it doesn’t work out between us, then it’ll be my fault.  I spent the day with Mr. Davidson,” he informed her.

“Only because Harrison Grant Jr. told you that you would be back at two.”

“Does everyone know the details of that day?”

“I’m in gossip central.  People talk all day long at the nursing home, and they forget some of the old people there, like me, can understand and remember what they say.”

He was beginning to get a headache.  It seemed that being rich meant one’s life had to be put on display for the entire world to watch.

She leaned forward so she could lower her voice.  “I told her to go ahead and consummate the marriage last week but she thought the fact that she was menstruating would be too gross so she said she’d have to wait until Friday when she was done for the month.  If God had timed her flow to come a week earlier or later, she’d have no choice but to be with you now.  Anyway, now you know that she’s wanted to stay in the marriage since last week.  I think being left to fend for herself while Mrs. Davidson and Julie Grant ran off to shop for the day was too much for her to handle.”

“Mrs. Davidson left Carrie by herself in that house?”

Mrs. Tobias returned and put the red curly wig on his head.

The woman nodded.  “That woman didn’t give her anything to eat at breakfast, and she went to go shopping.  It seems that Carrie accidentally broke a lamp and got blood on the rug and Mrs. Davidson went into a tizzy over it and took Julie shopping with her.  It had something to do with her cats.  Mary tried to explain it to me but Mary had trouble remembering all of the details.”

He sighed.  It’s no wonder that Carrie was upset.  She must be afraid that this will keep happening to her.  He had the sudden urge to take her in his arms and promise her that the incident with Mrs. Davidson wouldn’t ever happen to her again.

Mrs. Tobias put his red nose on and made sure it was in place before she announced that he was ready.

“How do I look?” he asked the two women.

“Perfect for making the children happy,” Mrs. Tobias replied.

He didn’t have a mirror to look at but if his bulky white outfit that was covered in large yellow, red and blue polka dots was an indicator of how his makeup looked, then he was assured that he was a comical sight.

“I better get to the front room so I can see the performance.” Helen smiled as walked out of the room.

“Oh!  I forgot the shoes.” Mrs. Tobias snapped her fingers and ran to get them.

Carrie entered the room.  “I’m going to be your assistant,” she told him.  She stopped in the middle of the room when she saw him.  She chuckled.  “You look so different from the professional businessman I’m used to seeing.”

“Do you like it?” he asked.

“You’re cute.  The kids will love it.” She walked to the table next to him.

“Do you like it?”

“I said that you’re cute, and that’s all you’ll get out of me.  I do appreciate you doing this.  I think the kids will enjoy it.”

Mrs. Tobias returned with the large red shoes.  “Carrie, you thought of everything.  Mrs. Clark is here to see Ryan, and I believe they are getting along well, though I think he still likes you a little more.”

Carrie smiled.  “He just needs to get used to Mrs. Clark.  She’s a nice woman.” She turned to him.  “Are you ready?”

He put on the shoes and nodded.  “You’ll have to walk me through this.”

“Just follow my lead.  I have the whole thing planned out.”

They walked to the front room where ten orphans sat on the floor with a couple of women.  When the show first started, he felt awkward.  He was surprised that Carrie seemed so at ease in front of the group.  She was shy at the dinner parties.  Perhaps she could open up easily in front of the women and children because she knew them well.  While she went through the performance smoothly, he made a couple of errors, but since the audience laughed, he played along as if he meant to goof up.

He noticed that Ryan didn’t laugh, even though he gave a slight smile once in awhile.  He suddenly wondered what the boy’s life had been like before he came to this place.  He had to wonder if he had been the same way after his parents died.  Unlike him, Ryan would never know where he came from or who his parents were.

Suddenly, Carrie threw a pumpkin pie in his face.  He hadn’t been paying attention to what was going on since his focus had been on the young boy, but he quickly redirected his attention and saw Carrie laughing along with everyone else.

“You were supposed to run from me,” she said between fits of giggles.

“Why would I run from you?” he asked.  “You’re my beautiful and lovely assistant.” He grinned and leaned forward to kiss her.

An eruption of giggles came from the audience and he noticed that Ryan had finally laughed.  Deciding the moment was too good to pass up, he took her in his arms, dipped her back and gave her a long kiss.  When he let her go, he was pleased to see that Ryan was still laughing.

“Yuck!” Carrie reached for a towel to wipe her face.  “You got pie all over me.”

“Gross.  You kissed a girl,” a boy called out.

“When you grow up, you’ll like it,” he assured the boy who obviously didn’t believe him.  Turning to Carrie, he asked, “Is that it or is there more?”

“You’d better say there’s more…but wait until you get home before you do the rest,” Helen called out to her.

He ignored Carrie’s stunned expression and started cleaning up with the other women.  He hid his grin.  He liked Helen.  The woman didn’t hold anything back, and he could only hope the woman’s words would sink in and motivate Carrie to action.

That night after he bathed, he noticed that Carrie had already gone to bed.  He sighed.  What was it going to take to get back into bed with her?

On The Timing of a New Release (Why I Can’t Give a Specific Release Date on a Current Work in Progress)

Once in a while, I’ll get a question on when my next book will come out.  Unless I have finished the first draft, I can’t pinpoint exactly when it’ll be available.  Take Runaway Bride and His Abducted Bride as examples.  I’m only on chapter 4 for both of them.  That is under 10,000 words.  My average book is between 65,000 to 70,000 words.  That means I have about 55,000 to 60,000 words to go if I am going to hit that 65,000 or 70,000 target.

Now, throw in real life.  I’m a wife, mother, and friend.  I have to juggle keeping my romance with my husband going (even after 12 years of marriage, we still date).  I have to help the kids with schoolwork, keep in communication with their teachers, spend time with my kids before they get to be “too cool” to be seen with me, and I have one who is deaf who requires more assistance with learning how to write and read so the world can communicate with him.  (Yes, we’re learning sign language, but the general population doesn’t know signs, so my focus is on helping him learn to read and write.)  And I like spending time with my friends, whether it’s talking on the phone, eating out, or going to conferences with them.

Then there’s stressors that pop up here and there.  Currently, we’re in the process of getting our old house ready for the next owners.  Moving is a huge creativity drain.  I haven’t been writing lately because I’m too busy getting things organized with painting and carpeting the house.  Cleaning up the place comes after that.  And, to boot, I have to find a way to occupy four very energetic boys while this is going on.   Lately, all I’ve been doing is reading because when I’ve tried to write, my mind goes blank.  I might get in 50 or 100 words, but that is barely making a mark in the word count goals.  In November, my kids and I all got so sick we spent two weeks doing nothing, and I did no writing during that time either.  It’s stuff like that which pops up and sets all the writing projects on the back burner.

So I can’t tell anyone when Runaway Bride or His Abducted Bride will be out.  I have estimated late winter/early spring (which is March through May).  But I can’t narrow it down from there.  What I can do is say that A Most Unsuitable Earl will be on Barnes and Noble and Amazon around the first of January, but I already have that one finished up.  When I have a book finished up, the only stuff I have left on it is surface work.  I’m done writing or rewriting.  All I’m doing is polishing it up with the help of my editing team.

On a good day, I can write 2500 words a day.  On average, I end up doing 1500 to 2000 words a day.  On a bad day, I barely get anything written.  So if everything is going extremely well, I can have the first draft of a book done in 1.5 months.  If not, then it can take 3-4 months to get the first draft done.  Then there’s another month for editing, and I have to work with other people’s schedules, so it can be two months.  There are many unknowns that I can’t control.

When I’m moving or on vacation, I put a hold on writing.  I understand it seems like writing doesn’t require much work, but it is (at least if you want to write a book that reflects your best effort).   I strive to make every book I write better than the one I wrote before.  I don’t want my next book to end up being a “Whatever happened to Ruth’s writing?  It’s like someone else came in and wrote the book for her.” I’ve seen those reviews on popular books (by authors who are big names in the business).  I self-publish to keep my voice fresh and my stories engaging.

The worst thing that can happen to an author (in my opinion) is to write a “blah” kind of book.  I want every book I write to be one in which I need to keep turning the pages to find out what happens next.  If I can stay focused on my story, then I know it’s worth writing.  If I stall out and things drag, I quit writing it.  I hate sagging middles when I read, and I refuse to have them when I write.  So if I need to take more time because the creativity is not flowing, I’ll halt the writing until the creative spark is back.

So anyway, that’s a long way of explaining why I can’t pinpoint when I’ll publish my next book if it’s a book I’m currently writing.  I do, however, have a widget to the right side on this blog where you can sign up to be notified when I have a new release out.  I have to wait until the book is live on Amazon and Barnes and Noble before I send it out, but when the book is up on those sites, I will let you know.  And I will only email you when the book is released.  :D

 

Inspiration For the Book: The Cold Wife

For the next couple weeks, I’ll be using Sunday to feature deleted scenes from The Cold Wife.

I cut about 40,000 words out of the original book to get the revised version.   Early on I got several complaints about Carrie, the heroine in this book.  Only one person (that I know of) liked her. This was before most people knew I wrote books, so it was like ten people total who gave me feedback, and I figured 9 people out of 10 hating my heroine was bad.

The reason most people didn’t like her was because she continued to give Justin (the hero) a hard time.   In the revised version, she gave him a hard time, but then she relented after they returned from Mr. and Mrs. Davidson (the Davidsons were the couple with a lot of cats and the husband was big into hunting).  Anyway, in the original version, Carrie didn’t understand why Justin was detained with Mr. Davidson who insisted he and Harrison Jr. hunt with him all day.  Carrie intentionally did things to upset Justin in hopes he would annul the marriage.  One such incident was the scene I posted yesterday.

In the years that followed since I revised The Cold Wife, I’ve come to learn two things:

1. If a story is meant to be shorter, then it needs to be shorter.

My initial inclination when I was writing The Cold Wife was to make the story shorter, but since An Unlikely Place for Love and An Inconvenient Marriage (which I wrote before The Cold Wife) were in the 90,000-word range, I thought The Cold Wife had to be that many words, too.  I prolonged The Cold Wife in order to make it about 90,000+ words.  To do that, I had to prolong the conflict.

2.  Heroines who don’t fall head over heels for the hero right away are not as “likable” as those who do.

This has been proven over and over again with my books.  People are a lot more forgiving of the hard-headed hero than they are of the hard-headed heroine.  If the heroine resists the hero, she is often seen as immature or jerky.  I guess that stems from the whole notion that a a guy who sleeps around is a stud but a girl who sleeps around is a slut.  The culture is often more forgiving of men pulling stunts that women couldn’t as easily get away with.

Does that mean I make all of my heroines the type who immediately fall in love with the hero?  Nope.  I let the heroines decide who they are and take it from there.  I can tell what type of star rating I’ll get from a book as I’m writing it based on the heroine’s response to the hero or based on the level of humor in my books.  Comedy tends to be unpopular in the star ratings, too.

Since I have written over 40 books (some of those not being romances and some short), I’ve also learned that if the characters don’t guide the book, it won’t be any good (at least good to me).  Then I’ll have to go back and rewrite it.  So these days, I’m inclined to put writing on hold if the story is veering off course of where it should be.  If the ideas suddenly stop coming, it’s usually a sign that I’m not listening to the characters or the characters need some time to figure out what they want to do next.  And even if the characters want to go in a direction that is “unrealistic” or “immature” or “mean” to some, I do it anyway.  Having written as many books as I have at this point, I understand that no book will please everyone, and I’m okay with that.  As long as the characters are happy, the book is as it should be.

That all being said, I am happier with The Cold Wife as it is now because the book should never have been 90,000+ words long.  :D

Deleted Scene #1: The Cold Wife

I have a couple deleted scenes from The Cold Wife I plan to share over the next couple weeks.  These come from the original version of the story.  I have since revised the book, so the current version doesn’t have them.

This is the first one (and I’ll give the inspiration behind this scene in tomorrow’s post).

Look for Jake Mitchell (hero in An Inconvenient Marriage) and Chad Walker (hero in An Unlikely Place for Love) in this scene.  At this point, Chad (Mr. Walker) is married but Jake (Mr. Mitchell) isn’t.  Also, Justin Monroe wasn’t working at the bank yet, so his friendship with Jake hasn’t developed yet.  Also, Carrie and Justin hadn’t adopted Ryan yet.  Ryan was still living in the orphanage.

This is one of Carrie’s attempts of trying to convince Justin to annul their marriage.  (They hadn’t consummated the marriage at this point, though they came close.)

***

            Mrs. Henderson reluctantly agreed to go with Carrie to the convention.  “I hate to intrude on men when they are doing business.  If it were anyone but you, I would refuse.”

“This is the only time I have to take his measurements,” Carrie easily lied.  “This will mean the world to Ryan.”

At the mention of the orphan’s name, the older woman relaxed.  “The poor boy has been through so much.  It would be nice to hear that he actually laughed.”

Carrie silently agreed.  It seemed that he managed to smile at her, but she had yet to hear him laugh.

Franklin drove them to the Edwards’ Hotel and helped them out of the stagecoach.  “I will wait for you, Mrs. Monroe,” he said.

“Thank you.” And if this works, you can go back to being Justin’s driver.

The two women walked through the entrance of the large hotel.  She noticed that they were the only women there.  This was definitely a male dominated event.  It’s probably boring too.  She couldn’t imagine that business meetings could be interesting.  She was secretly relieved that women and men separated at dinner parties when men wanted to discuss their work.  When the men and women were together, they either ate or danced.  It suddenly dawned on her that she and Justin hadn’t danced since their wedding day.  She frowned.  Though she wasn’t good at it, she did enjoy dancing with him.  She pushed aside the thought.  She had a goal.

She straightened her shoulders back and ignored her brother who looked shocked to see her as she marched across the room.  She stopped behind Justin who was standing in front of a table and talking to Mr. Martin.  Mr. Walker was at the table to his right and Mr. Mitchell was at the table to his left.

“Oh good.  You are here,” she loudly said so the people around them would notice her…if the fact that she and Mrs. Henderson weren’t the only two women in the room wouldn’t be enough to draw attention to them.

Justin turned around, obviously surprised.  Then he smiled.  “Carrie!  Did you miss me?”

“I’m going to take your measurements,” she ordered, her tone firm.  “Stand up straight and take off your suit jacket.”

She expected him to refuse but he shrugged and obeyed her.  He set the jacket on the table.  “What do you want to measure first?”

She was momentarily taken aback but quickly regained her equilibrium.  She glanced at the other woman.  “Where do we start?”

“Let’s measure around his head for the hat,” the overwhelmed woman slowly stated.

Justin leaned forward so that their noses were almost touching.  “You smell nice,” he whispered as she took the tape measure and wrapped it around the top of his head.  “Your perfume reminds me of the dream I had about you last night.  I dreamt that we finished what we started at the Davidson’s.”

She shook off the thrill of his statement and told the woman the number on the tape measure so that she could record it on her paper.  Turning back to him, she said, “Stand up straight.  I need to measure your neck.”

He did as she wished.  “Do you mind telling me what this is about?”

“Mrs. Henderson needs to make you a clown outfit.” She reported the number to the seamstress.  She measured his shoulders.  She hadn’t realized they were so broad.  She recalled the way they felt under her hands when they were in bed together.  She shook her head in aggravation.  This convention had to be the most unromantic place on the planet, and here she was recalling romantic moments in her mind.  “Now hold your hands straight out.  I need to measure your arms.”

“Why am I going to be a clown?” he wondered.

“Mrs. Tobias thought it would be fun to throw a party for Ryan and the other children at the orphanage.  I volunteered you to be the clown.  You have to be there at seven tomorrow night.”

“But we have tickets to the symphony for that time,” he argued.  “They were your birthday gift to me.”

Which was why she purposely picked that time for the clown show.  She continued to measure his upper body and reported the numbers to Mrs. Henderson.  She was acutely aware that most of the men in the room were staring at them.  Even her brother was too stunned to stop her.  He simply sat at his table in silence.  Good.  It’s working.  After this, Justin will be begging for an annulment.

“It doesn’t matter what you want, Mr. Monroe.  I am ordering you to be there at seven tomorrow night, whether you like it or not.” She hoped she sounded bossy.  “Since Ryan is going to go home with Mr. and Mrs. Clark this Sunday, we thought it would be nice to throw him a party.  We’re hoping you can get him to laugh.  Most children can’t resist laughing when there’s a clown in the room.”

“And you wonder why I don’t want to get married?” Mr. Mitchell asked Justin.

“Well, I think that’s a wonderful idea,” Justin replied.  “I’m very pleased she thought of me to perform this task.”

The other man shook his head in amazement.

That wasn’t exactly the response she was hoping for.  Justin should have had the same reaction that Mr. Mitchell did.  Perhaps her next statement would catch him off guard.  “Yes.  I think it’s a good idea too.  You’re so laughable.”

“I’m glad to find that you enjoy my company.”

What was wrong with him?  Didn’t he recognize a put down when he heard it?  She wrapped the tape measure around his waist, aware of how narrow it was.  His body was so different from hers.  Broad shoulders, strong arms, narrow waist…She recalled how he looked in the moonlight as he got dressed to go hunting with Mr. Davidson.  She blinked several times to ward off the sudden feeling of dizziness that threatened to take over her and quickly told Mrs. Henderson what to write down.

“What’s next?” she asked the other woman.  She breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that most of the men had returned to their conversations.  Her heart was pounding anxiously in her chest, and she had a nagging suspicion it had more to do with being close to Justin and touching him than it did with her intent to embarrass him in front of his peers.

“I need you to measure his hips,” the woman cautiously replied.

For a woman to be this forward with a man in public was inappropriate, even if they were husband and wife.  Carrie considered asking Mr. Mitchell to take the measurement for her but he looked so appalled that she knew he wouldn’t be a part of her plan.  Mr. Martin and Mr. Walker simply grinned, so they weren’t going to be any help either.  She took a deep breath and nodded.  She would have to do it herself.

“This is for Ryan,” she loudly stated.  “He’s been abandoned by his guardian and has been very sad.  He needs a clown to cheer him up.” There.  Hopefully, that would make what she was about to do next a noble cause.  She braced herself and wrapped the tape measure around his hips.

Justin widely smiled.  “I don’t know about Ryan, but it’s cheering me up.”

Her face grew bright red as several men chuckled.  She quickly gave the measurement and took the tape measure away.  She couldn’t keep doing this with him smiling at her as if he was ready to throw her over his shoulder and take her to his bedroom.  It was the same smile he had given her when he suggested a night of lovemaking before he went hunting.  Recalling the horrible day she had endured, she forcibly turned him around so he was facing Mr. Martin and shoved him against the table.

“I love it when you get rough,” he commented.

She anxiously looked at Mrs. Henderson.  Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all, but she had to finish it.

“Now we need to measure his legs,” the woman informed her.

Her hands shook as she rushed to perform the rest of the task at hand.  He had his legs spread apart in front of her while she was on her knees to measure the length of his right leg.  As she told Mrs. Henderson the number on the tape measure, she happened to catch a glimpse of Harrison and his father.  Without thinking, she crawled under Justin’s legs so she could get a clear view of the two men.

“If you’re that eager for him, just take him home,” Mr. Walker joked.

She ignored the laughter around her and focused on the scene in front of her.  While Harrison talked to Mr. Parker, his father put his hand in the man’s pocket.  She gritted her teeth, quickly stood up and ran over to them.  “Mr. Parker, do you know where your wallet is?” she asked.

“In my back pocket,” the man stated, surprised to see her there.

“No, it isn’t.  I just saw Harrison Grant Sr. take your wallet.  If you inspect his suit jacket, you’ll find it there.”

The man checked his back pocket and pulled his wallet out.

“That’s impossible,” she said.  “I saw it in his hand!”

“Carrie, what’s going on?” Justin asked as he ran up to her.

Mr. Walker, Mr. Mitchell and a few other men followed to see what was going on.

“While I was measuring your leg, I saw Mr. Grant Sr. take Mr. Parker’s wallet while Mr. Grant Jr. talked to him.”

“But I have the wallet right here,” Mr. Parker argued.

“I know what I saw!  He must have taken something from it and replaced it.  Maybe he was putting your wallet back when I saw him.”

The man opened his wallet and inspected his money and keys.  “Nothing is missing.”

“I didn’t imagine it!”

“Mrs. Monroe, are you feeling alright?” Harrison Jr. asked her.  “You look flushed.”

“I would feel much better about this whole thing if someone searched both of them.” She motioned to the two Grants.

“I don’t need to be insulted this way,” Harrison Sr. huffed.  “I came here to do business, not to be accused by a senseless woman.”

Justin frowned.  “I’ll thank you to avoid talking about my wife that way.”

“Everything is here,” Mr. Parker told her.

“He must have taken something,” she insisted.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Monroe, but everything is in its proper place.”

Realizing she couldn’t prove it, especially when Mr. Parker argued with her, she didn’t say anything else.

The men slowly dispersed.

Justin rubbed her back.  “I believe you, Carrie.”

Surprisingly, that made her feel better.

“Mrs. Monroe,” Mrs. Henderson began as she walked over to her, “I need to get back to work.  Will you take the final measurement?”

Carrie nodded and did so.  She handed the tape measure back to the woman who thanked her and left.

“Do you want me to take you home or somewhere else?” Justin offered.

“No.  I’ll be fine.  I need to be alone for awhile.”

He nodded and walked back to Mr. Martin.

She sighed and went toward the hotel entrance.  To her surprise, Mr. Mitchell stopped her as she reached the two doors.

“Which Grant took the wallet?” he asked her in a voice that was low enough so no one would overhear them.

She blinked.  “You believe me?”

“I have no reason not to.”

“It was the father.”

“Did you see him do anything with the wallet?”

“He had his hand in Mr. Parker’s back pocket.  I assume he was putting the wallet back where it belonged.”

He nodded.  “I’ll look into it.” He glanced at Harrison Jr. who was walking to them.  “Forgive me for what I am about to say next.” In a louder voice, he stated, “Mrs. Monroe, in the future, it would be best if you didn’t disrupt these conventions.” He turned to Harrison.  “I’ll see you at the bank.” Then he left.

She didn’t care to talk to Harrison, so she proceeded to walk outside.

“Carrie, is it really a good idea to dwell on the past?” Harrison called after her.

Determined that she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of responding, she ignored him.

“Are you still upset that I didn’t accept your marriage proposal?”

She paused and closed her eyes in irritation.  She knew that he was trying to humiliate her.  As if she wasn’t humiliated enough already!  She knew if she didn’t talk to him, he would make the situation worse, so she turned around.

“I thought that might get your attention,” he stated.

“You make me sick.”

His eyes grew wide in surprise.  “Julie said that you might be jealous.  It’s too bad you can’t take the time to be happy for your friend.  She cries about it sometimes.”

“You will make her miserable.”

“No, I won’t,” he snapped.  “I love her.”

“Really?  Then why were you pretending to be interested in me when you were secretly courting her?”

He didn’t respond.

“I know why.  You wanted to destroy my father.  You used me to gain access to his business records.”

“No, I didn’t.  My father insisted that I court you.”

“Why?”

“How should I know?  I’m just glad he finally listened to reason and let me be with Julie.”

“If what you’re saying is true, then you’re nothing more than your father’s pawn.”

He frowned.  “From what I hear, you have the sexual interest of an arctic chill.  It’s too bad I wasn’t willing to warm you up since poor Justin can’t seem to do the job.”

Her face grew hot with anger.  “Justin is a better man than you’ll ever be!”

He remained unaffected by her words and actions.  “Then why did you try to marry me a day before your marriage to him?”

“Because I was stupid.”

“Not as stupid as your husband is since he’s remarkably devoted to you regardless of the things you put him through.”

            She walked away from him and sighed with relief when she was back in Franklin’s stagecoach.