Alan Cook's Blog - Posts Tagged "disaster"
The Worst Marketing Idea Ever
I thought I had the most colossal marketing idea the writing world has ever seen. It was so revolutionary that nobody—as far as I knew—had ever tried it. I would be the first, and it would shoot my new novel, Dangerous Wind, into the top hundred on Amazon.
Sure, others would follow my lead, but I would get the credit. Maybe it would even be named after me: “The Cook Marketing Plan.” I would be lauded on Facebook and Twitter. Perhaps I’d even be invited to hang out with the Kardashians.
The plan was simple enough. Why hadn’t anybody else ever thought of it? Well, of course it’s simple after someone else comes up with the idea. And that someone was me. I was the pioneer. The Einstein.
What I would do is invite readers to help edit my book and give cash to each person who was the first to find an error. Now the book had already been carefully edited, so I figured that would limit my payout, although there are always those impossible-to-find things that sneak through and then slap a reader and eventually the author in the face.
I was recently reading a copy of Forever Amber, a book that’s been out since the 1940s. All the errors have long since been eliminated—right? Wrong. There on page twenty-something-or-other was “were” for we’re.” OMG!
Anyway, with cash incentives in place, I figured readers would flock by the thousands to download the Amazon Kindle version of my book and set about perusing it with their editor caps on. Wrong again. Didn’t happen.
The good news is that one brave soul did take on the job. She found four or five minor errors that I immediately corrected. She’s a family friend and wouldn’t take money for the job, so I paid her in copies of my YA book, Dancing with Bulls, for her grandchildren. I was thankful she did it. It definitely improved my book, so some good came of this.
But I learned a valuable lesson. The average reader ain’t no editor. He/she don’t wanna be a editor. So I guess I’ll have to go back to my old marketing technique: prostrating myself each morning in front of my altar with an effigy of The Great Amazon sitting on top and wishing that visitors to Amazon.com will be taken to the pages featuring my books which they will order and read and love and remember me in their wills.
Sure, others would follow my lead, but I would get the credit. Maybe it would even be named after me: “The Cook Marketing Plan.” I would be lauded on Facebook and Twitter. Perhaps I’d even be invited to hang out with the Kardashians.
The plan was simple enough. Why hadn’t anybody else ever thought of it? Well, of course it’s simple after someone else comes up with the idea. And that someone was me. I was the pioneer. The Einstein.
What I would do is invite readers to help edit my book and give cash to each person who was the first to find an error. Now the book had already been carefully edited, so I figured that would limit my payout, although there are always those impossible-to-find things that sneak through and then slap a reader and eventually the author in the face.
I was recently reading a copy of Forever Amber, a book that’s been out since the 1940s. All the errors have long since been eliminated—right? Wrong. There on page twenty-something-or-other was “were” for we’re.” OMG!
Anyway, with cash incentives in place, I figured readers would flock by the thousands to download the Amazon Kindle version of my book and set about perusing it with their editor caps on. Wrong again. Didn’t happen.
The good news is that one brave soul did take on the job. She found four or five minor errors that I immediately corrected. She’s a family friend and wouldn’t take money for the job, so I paid her in copies of my YA book, Dancing with Bulls, for her grandchildren. I was thankful she did it. It definitely improved my book, so some good came of this.
But I learned a valuable lesson. The average reader ain’t no editor. He/she don’t wanna be a editor. So I guess I’ll have to go back to my old marketing technique: prostrating myself each morning in front of my altar with an effigy of The Great Amazon sitting on top and wishing that visitors to Amazon.com will be taken to the pages featuring my books which they will order and read and love and remember me in their wills.
