Sreejib's Blog
October 1, 2016
Humans amuse me! (An August blog)
In a world that is gradually getting torn apart by religious extremism, humans are doing their best to keep me amused.
The other day I was travelling in an auto rickshaw with two elderly male co-passengers. In Kolkata autos are economical, shared, route driven rides, in case you were wondering.
Among themselves they were discussing the hopelessness of our country. Not me, my co-passengers thought our country was hopeless. I am extremely hopeful about our country. Especially my state.
Well, so I sat listening to this man complain about how one Mr. Minister was worried about the length of skirts when there were permanent problems like Kashmir, terrorism, rape, economy, literacy, debt and a few hundred more.
“How is the length of a women’s skirt a topic of discussion!” He was outraged.
I on the other hand, completely agree with Mr. Minister. Just because we have primitive, persistent and paralyzing issues lying around awaiting a solution, doesn’t mean that we will stop playing Barbie dress ups! After all, who knows what is best for a woman to wear? Of course a man.
At this point I should tell you that I am a woman, I live alone and I do not wear skirts. If you have seen Piku (The movie) then you will get what I am like. No, I am not like Deepika (some wishes are simply too extravagant), I am at that age where I am difficult to please.
In a typical day of my life, my maid comes at 5.30 am, sharp, not a minute to or past. At times I wish she shared her time keeping skills with my newspaper-dada who comes as and while he wishes. And when he feels that the day’s news is not important enough, he doesn’t come at all.
Every morning I clumsily open the lock, babble out what my maid has to cook and get back to sleep. When I finally wake up at 9.30 am (You are allowed to judge me), the first person I call is my mother. Here is an exact transcript of one of our daily conversations.
Me – Hello (groggy).
Ma – You are up! What did your maid cook?
Me – (I mumble the menu)
Ma – Don’t lie, how can she cook fish? There was no fish to cook.
Me – There was Ma.
Ma – Tell me how many fishes are there in your freezer.
Me – (I name all the raw fishes freezing in my freezer, which is a lot)
Ma – You don’t have anything to eat, I will send food.
Since I am a writer, now a published struggling author, my work comprises of writing my second book, connecting with my marketing partner, connecting with reviewers and bloggers and convincingly self-doubting.
But before doing all these activities I read the newspaper.
One day I was eating an apple (the only healthy thing I eat) and reading newspaper to look for the news that forced my newspaper-dada to drop by, when my friend called.
“What does Britain want?” he asked agitatedly.
“Uh...dugna lagaan?” I tentatively guessed.
What Britain wants has become a million pound question. Everybody has their own theory. Here is mine.
My grandma used to say that too much dairy is not good for the stomach and mind. I don’t know if she said that to make me eat less butter and cheese or was that a fact. I also do not know how popular dairy is in Britain. But my best friend who lives in London says that their dairy is the creamiest and she can’t stop having it. Hmmm, may be grandma was right after all.
After hearing my friend speak about Brexit, most of which I didn’t understand, he suggested watching Mohenjo Daro.
Just when I thought British people were losing it, Hrithik proved me wrong. We were losing it too.
Anyone, apart from Mr. Minister who is busy deciding skirt lengths, seems to make no sense to me.
Like, there is a Ms. Minister who has taken up the cause of uterus. She has decided to dedicate her life to the righteous use of uterus by confining surrogacy and thus, probably, eradicate the Parsi community as well.
Phew! That’s a hell of a task to accomplish in one life.
Everyone has the right to decide what motivates them, but uterus? Really? Not saving the girl child? Not education for the girl child? Not protection for women? Not health care for women? Etc. etc. etc. but a woman’s uterus!?
As a woman I should have the right to use my body (which includes every part of it) as and how I please without causing legal violations. However, I will give it to Ms. Minister for sheer creativity. Never in a lifetime could I have come up with the concept of “righteous use of uterus”.
My fellow Indian girlfriends, if you think that you are in a soup because you are in India and thus completely confused about which skirt to wear and how to keep your uterus locked, then think again. You are not half as worried as an American.
Here are two words hanging like a gun over every American, ‘Donald’ ‘Trump’.
Among all this chaos there is a ray of hope for Muslim men. Muslim women might just have the right to say “Talaq, Talaq, Talaq,” or so I read. Finally, a broken nikah will not just be a man’s onus.
Here is my thought for this week. Not that I claim to be sane, but what’s going on around me is beyond insanity. And in its own twisted way, unabashedly amusing.
The other day I was travelling in an auto rickshaw with two elderly male co-passengers. In Kolkata autos are economical, shared, route driven rides, in case you were wondering.
Among themselves they were discussing the hopelessness of our country. Not me, my co-passengers thought our country was hopeless. I am extremely hopeful about our country. Especially my state.
Well, so I sat listening to this man complain about how one Mr. Minister was worried about the length of skirts when there were permanent problems like Kashmir, terrorism, rape, economy, literacy, debt and a few hundred more.
“How is the length of a women’s skirt a topic of discussion!” He was outraged.
I on the other hand, completely agree with Mr. Minister. Just because we have primitive, persistent and paralyzing issues lying around awaiting a solution, doesn’t mean that we will stop playing Barbie dress ups! After all, who knows what is best for a woman to wear? Of course a man.
At this point I should tell you that I am a woman, I live alone and I do not wear skirts. If you have seen Piku (The movie) then you will get what I am like. No, I am not like Deepika (some wishes are simply too extravagant), I am at that age where I am difficult to please.
In a typical day of my life, my maid comes at 5.30 am, sharp, not a minute to or past. At times I wish she shared her time keeping skills with my newspaper-dada who comes as and while he wishes. And when he feels that the day’s news is not important enough, he doesn’t come at all.
Every morning I clumsily open the lock, babble out what my maid has to cook and get back to sleep. When I finally wake up at 9.30 am (You are allowed to judge me), the first person I call is my mother. Here is an exact transcript of one of our daily conversations.
Me – Hello (groggy).
Ma – You are up! What did your maid cook?
Me – (I mumble the menu)
Ma – Don’t lie, how can she cook fish? There was no fish to cook.
Me – There was Ma.
Ma – Tell me how many fishes are there in your freezer.
Me – (I name all the raw fishes freezing in my freezer, which is a lot)
Ma – You don’t have anything to eat, I will send food.
Since I am a writer, now a published struggling author, my work comprises of writing my second book, connecting with my marketing partner, connecting with reviewers and bloggers and convincingly self-doubting.
But before doing all these activities I read the newspaper.
One day I was eating an apple (the only healthy thing I eat) and reading newspaper to look for the news that forced my newspaper-dada to drop by, when my friend called.
“What does Britain want?” he asked agitatedly.
“Uh...dugna lagaan?” I tentatively guessed.
What Britain wants has become a million pound question. Everybody has their own theory. Here is mine.
My grandma used to say that too much dairy is not good for the stomach and mind. I don’t know if she said that to make me eat less butter and cheese or was that a fact. I also do not know how popular dairy is in Britain. But my best friend who lives in London says that their dairy is the creamiest and she can’t stop having it. Hmmm, may be grandma was right after all.
After hearing my friend speak about Brexit, most of which I didn’t understand, he suggested watching Mohenjo Daro.
Just when I thought British people were losing it, Hrithik proved me wrong. We were losing it too.
Anyone, apart from Mr. Minister who is busy deciding skirt lengths, seems to make no sense to me.
Like, there is a Ms. Minister who has taken up the cause of uterus. She has decided to dedicate her life to the righteous use of uterus by confining surrogacy and thus, probably, eradicate the Parsi community as well.
Phew! That’s a hell of a task to accomplish in one life.
Everyone has the right to decide what motivates them, but uterus? Really? Not saving the girl child? Not education for the girl child? Not protection for women? Not health care for women? Etc. etc. etc. but a woman’s uterus!?
As a woman I should have the right to use my body (which includes every part of it) as and how I please without causing legal violations. However, I will give it to Ms. Minister for sheer creativity. Never in a lifetime could I have come up with the concept of “righteous use of uterus”.
My fellow Indian girlfriends, if you think that you are in a soup because you are in India and thus completely confused about which skirt to wear and how to keep your uterus locked, then think again. You are not half as worried as an American.
Here are two words hanging like a gun over every American, ‘Donald’ ‘Trump’.
Among all this chaos there is a ray of hope for Muslim men. Muslim women might just have the right to say “Talaq, Talaq, Talaq,” or so I read. Finally, a broken nikah will not just be a man’s onus.
Here is my thought for this week. Not that I claim to be sane, but what’s going on around me is beyond insanity. And in its own twisted way, unabashedly amusing.
September 24, 2016
Marriage falls in a pit‘t’
Sincere apologies; couldn’t resist the pun.
On TV, I was watching this discussion about the separation of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie where one of the senior panellists said, “Love is on a diet.” I simply loved that phrase!
Is love really on a diet? Are marriages failing because the head is taking over the heart? Or is it all for the better? I have a friend who blames everything on global warming. I bet he will do the same with failed marriages too.
The other day I was working on a marketing content when one of my girlfriends called and screeched, “Competition down! Competition down!” and went on to explain how Pitt will soon be an available man.
Unlike my friend and like most people across the globe, I was saddened by the news. Not because I do not consider Jolie a competition and do not see this as an opening into Pitt’s love life (As if my considering that would change a thing!!), but because this pair was indeed a good illustration.
I believe people loved Pitt and Jolie because they gave us a tangible picture of what we all want. Look at the check list they cleared, great looks-check, fame-check, money-check, love-check, family-check, adopted kids-check, own kids-check, marriage-check. They had us convinced that one could have everything, until recently when they proved that one, after all, cannot have everything.
Lately there was another bad news. Someone who is very dear to me found out that her husband has been cheating on her. She is an educated, young, smart lady from a rich family. She has always been vocal when one of us had a crisis. But now, when it’s come to her, she chose to forgive her husband and try working on their marriage.
Sometimes you hear about a divorce and say, “They should have tried harder!” And some married couples make you ask, “Why are they still sticking on?”
In a society where perfect couples are falling apart and imperfect couples are holding it together, you wonder, when should one give up on a marriage?
I think one should give up on a marriage when they begin to set the wrong examples.
Unlike other fellow animals who work purely on instincts, humans chose to build a society, regulate norms and work within those set norms. People who followed those norms were called, normal. People who chose or may be couldn’t follow those norms were called, abnormal. Now, the normal and the abnormal are a completely separate blog altogether, let us get back to marriages here.
Let me remind you of something that clearly most have forgotten. Marriage is a social institution. It is not instinctive to humans. We were born to fall in love and mate, not marry.
So, when you fall in love and choose to be in a relationship, you might take all the liberties with yourself, you are free to do that.
However, when you get married, you enter a social institution where you are bound by norms, mostly moral and social. Everything you do as a married person sets an example that the society will consider at all times. You become the precedence.
Therefore, if you continue to be in an abusive marriage then you are harming the society by setting a wrong example! People will consider it normal to be in an abusive marriage and therefore anyone who chooses otherwise shall be judged.
Likewise, if you are quick to give up on a marriage just to prove a point, you are also setting a wrong example. People who are uncomplaining in a marriage will be judged because of you.
Love is all about you and your partner, marriage is not. I believe the same happened with Pitt and Jolie. Clearly they had a much longer love relationship than marriage. They took liberties when they were in that relationship because they were not answerable to anyone. But once married, they realised that their issues were setting a wrong example for their children. Ergo, they chose to set the right example.
Getting and staying married is known to us. It takes a lot of courage to break free from that known. No matter how difficult, challenging or even abusive it is, known always wins over unknown. I appreciate people who have the courage to embark upon unknown for the fitting reason.
My suggestion, do not marry unless you are absolutely sure that you have an understanding of what is good and what is bad for the society. Not unless you are aware of your responsibilities as a social animal, and definitely not unless you are ready for the unknown. Until then, love with all your instincts, after all, that’s what you were born to do!
A thought for this weekend, feed love well. We must encourage it to stop dieting and assure it that we like the extra weight.
On TV, I was watching this discussion about the separation of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie where one of the senior panellists said, “Love is on a diet.” I simply loved that phrase!
Is love really on a diet? Are marriages failing because the head is taking over the heart? Or is it all for the better? I have a friend who blames everything on global warming. I bet he will do the same with failed marriages too.
The other day I was working on a marketing content when one of my girlfriends called and screeched, “Competition down! Competition down!” and went on to explain how Pitt will soon be an available man.
Unlike my friend and like most people across the globe, I was saddened by the news. Not because I do not consider Jolie a competition and do not see this as an opening into Pitt’s love life (As if my considering that would change a thing!!), but because this pair was indeed a good illustration.
I believe people loved Pitt and Jolie because they gave us a tangible picture of what we all want. Look at the check list they cleared, great looks-check, fame-check, money-check, love-check, family-check, adopted kids-check, own kids-check, marriage-check. They had us convinced that one could have everything, until recently when they proved that one, after all, cannot have everything.
Lately there was another bad news. Someone who is very dear to me found out that her husband has been cheating on her. She is an educated, young, smart lady from a rich family. She has always been vocal when one of us had a crisis. But now, when it’s come to her, she chose to forgive her husband and try working on their marriage.
Sometimes you hear about a divorce and say, “They should have tried harder!” And some married couples make you ask, “Why are they still sticking on?”
In a society where perfect couples are falling apart and imperfect couples are holding it together, you wonder, when should one give up on a marriage?
I think one should give up on a marriage when they begin to set the wrong examples.
Unlike other fellow animals who work purely on instincts, humans chose to build a society, regulate norms and work within those set norms. People who followed those norms were called, normal. People who chose or may be couldn’t follow those norms were called, abnormal. Now, the normal and the abnormal are a completely separate blog altogether, let us get back to marriages here.
Let me remind you of something that clearly most have forgotten. Marriage is a social institution. It is not instinctive to humans. We were born to fall in love and mate, not marry.
So, when you fall in love and choose to be in a relationship, you might take all the liberties with yourself, you are free to do that.
However, when you get married, you enter a social institution where you are bound by norms, mostly moral and social. Everything you do as a married person sets an example that the society will consider at all times. You become the precedence.
Therefore, if you continue to be in an abusive marriage then you are harming the society by setting a wrong example! People will consider it normal to be in an abusive marriage and therefore anyone who chooses otherwise shall be judged.
Likewise, if you are quick to give up on a marriage just to prove a point, you are also setting a wrong example. People who are uncomplaining in a marriage will be judged because of you.
Love is all about you and your partner, marriage is not. I believe the same happened with Pitt and Jolie. Clearly they had a much longer love relationship than marriage. They took liberties when they were in that relationship because they were not answerable to anyone. But once married, they realised that their issues were setting a wrong example for their children. Ergo, they chose to set the right example.
Getting and staying married is known to us. It takes a lot of courage to break free from that known. No matter how difficult, challenging or even abusive it is, known always wins over unknown. I appreciate people who have the courage to embark upon unknown for the fitting reason.
My suggestion, do not marry unless you are absolutely sure that you have an understanding of what is good and what is bad for the society. Not unless you are aware of your responsibilities as a social animal, and definitely not unless you are ready for the unknown. Until then, love with all your instincts, after all, that’s what you were born to do!
A thought for this weekend, feed love well. We must encourage it to stop dieting and assure it that we like the extra weight.
