Elizabeth Engstrom's Blog, page 11

The Audubon Christmas Bird Count

Last Sunday, I got up in the dark, dressed in mighty layers and joined other hearty souls in the annual Audubon Christmas Bird Count. I didn't know what to expect. I kind of dreaded the idea of sitting, freezing, in a blind somewhere, alone or with someone else, just the two of us, a bird book and a pair of binoculars. Not even a thermos of coffee.

Wrong. Four of us with high spirits set out in a car and canvassed a variety of neighborhoods, identifying and counting the birds we saw. It was great fun. We found an obscure little pond with twenty wood ducks. We found a neighborhood with a disproportionate amount of Stellar's Jays. We saw a Peregrine Falcon in downtown Eugene. I was delighted to be able to recognize both Ruby Crowned Kinglets and Golden Crowned Kinglets. I learned the difference between a House Sparrow and a Song Sparrow. We laughed at the moving hilarity that is a flock of bushtits. We saw a Great Blue Heron sitting in a tree. I saw and learned to identify a variety of thrushes, including a hermit thrush. I saw a snipe.

Part of our territory included the riverbank, so we counted a wide variety of water fowl, including ducks, geese, gulls, and cormorants. It was all quite thrilling, actually.

Okay, so I'm a newbie at this bird stuff. I've always kind of scoffed at "birders" and yet there's something really intriguing about their behavior (both the birds and the birders). After a good warming lunch, we partnered with another group canvassing our area, the head of which was Dan Gleason, ornithologist from the University of Oregon, and this kind, patient man filled us with all manner of intriguing information about birds.

A thoroughly enjoyable day. Next year I'll wear insulated mittens like everybody else. My fingers suffered. I'll bring my own thermos of coffee and my husband, who would enjoy an interesting day outside as well.

Between now and then, I'll pay more attention to my bird feeders, my bird houses, my bird book and my backyard visitors.

2011: The Year of Living Simply

I've been naming my years now for a while. It's more than a resolution, it's a reminder to bring more lovingkindness, more awareness, more sweetness to life. In naming my years, and in holding those thoughts in my head and in my heart, my outlook changes.

In 2011, I vow to live more simply.

What does that mean? To travel less for business. Maybe just travel less.  To only go where my dog can come along. She's not getting any younger, either, and every day in a boarding facility is just that. To make fewer commitments. To acquire less stuff and to give more stuff away. To appreciate what I have rather than spend time and energy thinking about what I want. To not busy my schedule out a year in advance. To do more of the things I really enjoy and fewer things I dread. To not please people, but to please God instead. Pleasing people is exhausting. Pleasing God is simple.

To do more art. Both in writing and knitting and living. I heard not too long ago that if we, by our countless tiny decisions, make each day a work of art, by the time we're finished, we'll have created a masterpiece.

That's for me. That's what I want for 2011 and beyond. To build a simple masterpiece, day by day.

A New Discussion Forum

Apex Book Company, publisher of the recent reprint of my first book When Darkness Loves Us, has initiated a new online forum.

There's a place there to discuss WDLU or any of my other books with me or with other readers, as well as the other Apex authors.

Stop by and say hello. Click here.

I'm a Veteran

I spent eight years as a journalist in the Naval Reserves. During that time, Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait and I was called to active duty in the Pentagon at the Joint Combat Camera Center.

During that time, I worked with marvelous, dedicated people. Some were in the military for the educational benefits, some were looking at it as a career, some were closing out their long, eventful careers. And as with all jobs, one's coworkers become like a second family. There are parties, there are luncheons, there are friendships that spring up, and water cooler talk. People become close.

I served with countless homosexuals. Wonderful, talented, dedicated men and women who could never bring their spouse to an event, could never discuss their family situation, or their relationship problems, the way most of us do at the office without a thought. They had to closely guard every word that came out of their mouths, lest they let slip a bit of information that would get them fired, their long, distinguished careers trashed. 

Just try going a week without mentioning your spouse's name at work.

What a terrible way to live, especially since they were doing the right thing, the good thing, the thing that many people fear to do. These people stepped up, took an oath, left family and friends behind to do everything from front line combat to back room clerical work, to chip paint on Navy vessels and pull maintenance on tank tracks, all to make the enormous machine that is the US military run. And they couldn't confide in a co-worker if they'd had a heart-rending misunderstanding, or a particularly sweet moment with a lover.

I am beyond delighted that that era of mistreating these wonderful, courageous soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines is coming to an end. They deserve to have every right that is offered to every other citizen of this country without living in the shadows, without worrying that something they do or say–even off duty!–might be fodder for a jealous coworker eager to kick them out of the promotion lineup.

I believe Don't Ask, Don't Tell will be a thing of the past within days. The next appropriate thing will be to allow same-sex partners the right under Federal law to marry.

Love is a good thing. Family is a good thing. Fairness and equality are high ideals. Let's strive for those things and let the anger and suspicion fall away.

What is a Prayer Shawl?

We can cook!

A prayer shawl is a soft item of comfort. It can be an actual shawl, or it can be a scarf, a chemo cap, a hat, a pair of socks, mittens, gloves, a quilt… Anything that is hand made with the intention of bringing peace, comfort and love to someone who suffers is, in my world, a prayer shawl.

Last Sunday afternoon, seventeen women got together at Textiles A Mano to knit, crochet and sew soft items of comfort. We talked, we laughed, we ate (boy oh boy, can we cook!) and we combined our spirits, and our positive healing energy to infuse the items of love in our laps.

This, to  me, is a sacred act. For seventeen of us (eighteen, if you include Paul Shang, who baked and brought over an amazing cheesecake) to lay down our lives in the service of those who suffer, whether we know them personally or not, is a wonderful act of love, mercy and ministry.

Most churches have prayer shawl ministries. Two of the women who came to Sunday's event knit prayer shawls every week with a group at their church. These are the world's unsung heroes. These are the members of The Global Conspiracy.

It didn't take much time or energy, you know, to organize this event. I found a place to hold it (the last one, last February, was held in my living room), sent out a few emails, bought some cheese and crackers and people came. I like to think that in those four hours, we generated a great amount of calm energy to contribute to uplifting the spiritual tenor of the planet.

It was easy to do, and you could do it too.

I hope you will.

Consider Congress

This holiday season when so many are traveling to visit loved ones and there is such a hue and cry about airport security, consider that many congressional members–who oversee the TSA–don't have to be screened before getting on an airplane. These same congressional members don't have to purchase their own health insurance through the same expensive, convoluted system they've set up for us to try to negotiate and afford. They also set their own salaries, determine their own raises, and their own (non)term limits. They don't need to try to make ends meet on unemployment, because they can become lobbyists when they lose their jobs, which is why we don't have laws against those deep-pocketed special interests, either. And they declare wars in which their children don't fight and die.

Worst of all, every election season, they come to us, pleading with us to help them fix the system, when they are the system. They are the very ones who make the laws they so convincingly want us to fix.

I like our system. I like the three branches of government. I like the two-party system. But two hundred and thirty-four years into this experiment of democracy has pointed out a few bugs that need to be addressed, and they will not be addressed in any significant way by those who benefit from them.

There is a movement afoot to stage a new Constitutional Convention, but I also know there's a book in the works about how that can go horribly wrong, too.

What's the answer?

You tell me. I'm not a political person, but I will work tirelessly to fix these wrongs.

The Global Conspiracy

On the surface of the world right now there is war and violence and things seem dark.

But calmly and quietly, at the same time, something else is happening underground

An inner revolution is taking place and certain individuals are being called to a higher light. It is a silent revolution. From the inside out.

From the ground up.

This is a Global operation.

A Spiritual Conspiracy.  

There are sleeper cells in every nation on the planet.

You won't see us on the T.V.

You won't read about us in the newspaper.

You won't hear about us on the radio.

We don't seek any glory.

We don't wear any uniform.

We come in all shapes and sizes, colors and styles.

Most of us work anonymously.

We are quietly working behind the scenes in every country and culture of the world.

Cities big and small, mountains and valleys, in farms and villages, tribes and remote islands.

You could pass by one of us on the streetand not even notice.

We go undercover.

We remain behind the scenes.

It is of no concern to us who takes the final credit, but simply that the work gets done.

Occasionally we spot each other in the street.

We give a quiet nod and continue on our way.

During the day many of us pretend we have normal jobs.

But behind the false storefront at night is where the real work takes a place.

Some call us the Conscious Army.

We are slowly creating a new world with the power of our minds and hearts.

We follow, with passion and joy.

Our orders come from the Central Spiritual Intelligence.

We are dropping soft, secret love bombs when no one is looking.

Poems ~ Hugs ~ Music ~ Photography ~ Movies ~ Kind words ~Smiles ~ Meditation and prayer ~ Dance ~ Social activism ~ Websites Blogs ~ Random acts of kindness…

We each express ourselves in our own unique ways with our own unique gifts and talents.

"Be the change you want to see in the world!"  That is the motto that fills our hearts.

We know it is the only way real transformation takes place. We know that quietly and humbly we have the power of all the oceans combined.

Our work is slow and meticulous. Like the formation of mountains, it is not even visible at first glance.

And yet with it entire tectonic plates shall be moved in the centuries to come.

Love is the new religion of the 21st century.

You don't have to be a highly educated person, or have any exceptional knowledge to understand it.

It comes from the intelligence of the heart.

Embedded in the timeless evolutionary pulse of all human beings.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

Nobody else can do it for you.

We are now recruiting.

Perhaps you will join us.

Or already have. All are welcome. 

The door is open.

                                           –author unknown

My New Book!

York's Moon is now available for preorder from Amazon.com. Click here.

The first two reviews are in, and this is what they had to say:

"York's Moon is so absorbing and unusual that you'll almost miss how beautifully written it is–almost. Elizabeth Engstrom's mesmerizing and unique style will draw you into a world of mystery, violence and heroic struggle. Ultimately, this story celebrates the uplifting power of the human spirit. Do not miss it." –Susan Wiggs, author of Marrying Daisy Bellamy

"With quirky, engaging characters, York's Moon is as much about understanding the human condition as solving a murder mystery.  I cannot imagine anyone but Liz Engstrom writing this fine novel." –Terry Brooks, author of the Shannara series

Evan Engstrom – 1942-2010

Heaven is richer today for the presence of my former husband and one of my best friends of all time. Evan Emil Engstrom died yesterday after a 26-year battle with cancer. The man was a warrior. 

I first met Evan when we were both struggling to get sober. I knew his sister and she was everything I wanted to be. Shortly thereafter, I met his mom and his kids, and knew this was the family for me. We married, I adopted his two wonderful children, and we set out to have a full life together. Evan was incredibly smart, the master of the one-line zingers, handy and clever, but most of all, he cared. Deeply. About everything, all the time. He wanted to do the right thing in all situations. My honorary Uncle Paul told me to marry "a man I could live up to." Evan was just such a man, and he provided a moral compass for me from the moment we met, as well as everyone with whom he came into contact.

It wasn't long after we married that Evan's dentist found a small lump under his tongue. The surgery to eradicate this squamous cell carcinoma took the floor of his mouth, all the lymph nodes and big muscle on the left side of his neck, and required a skin graft from his thigh. The doctor told me: "The chances of his being here in two years are slim and none." Well, they didn't know Evan.

We moved from Maui to Oregon to provide a broader perspective of life for the kids, began to eat organically, raising most of our own food, and for a long time life was good. Eventually, however, we began to see that while we were really good friends, we did not make good mates. We discussed the fact that friendship is eternal while marriages are likely not, and we were in danger of losing our friendship as we toiled to maintain a broken marriage. So we separated, and eventually divorced, still committed to one another, still connected to one another via the heart, forever, in this world and throughout the next.

When I married Al, Evan came to our wedding. His classic comment: "I'll come to all of your weddings, Liz, if there's a meal in it for me." Al had to know that my commitment to Evan was part of my family unit. And when Evan and Sharon discovered each other in a new way, we all became one big happy weird family, impossible to describe, but precious in every way.

Evan's cancer came back. Again. And again. And yet again. He never gave up the fight against it, not after all the rest of us thought it might be a good idea that he just let go and let God. But he wanted to see his kids grow up. He wanted to see his grandkids grow up. And for the most part, he did. He leaves his two wonderful children, Nicole and Eron, and five grandsons, Luke, age 19, Joey, 17, Edison, 8 and Dean and Davison, both 3.

Evan left us too early. I particularly grieve that he and Sharon had such limited time together to explore their new relationship, to travel the world in happy retirement. But it is what it is, and we are all richer for knowing and loving him for as long as he was on loan to us.

Congratulations on your graduation, Evan. We all look forward to seeing you on the other side.

Candyland will be a movie!

With an amazing script by Rusty Nixon, Candyland, a dark, deeply disturbing novel of mine is currently in development. Funds are being raised, and you can participate! W. Scott Peake is directing; his latest film, Permanent Vacation did very well.

I couldn't be more excited.

Candyland is available in the collaborative collection of stories and art in the volume The Alchemy of Love, and is available as a stand-alone on the Kindle.