Cyndi Turner's Blog, page 21
April 17, 2018
Mental Health Stigma Among Men: Is the Tide Turning?
Whether it be the #MeToo, #TimesUp, Black Lives Matter, women’s equality or transgender rights movements, the United States is in a time of rapid social change. In the midst of such high-profile social movements, there may be a subtler social shift happening under the radar – a reduction in the stigma regarding men’s mental health issues.
In the United States, and many other cultures around the world, boys and young men have been socially conditioned from a young age to fit into a particular narrative of what it means to be a “real man.” This ideal is personified in the John Wayne rugged individual who needs no one; the strong, silent-type, whose strength is characterized by fearlessness and out-competing rivals. To acknowledge one’s emotions, with the exception of anger or aggression, is to be weak and even cowardly. I would argue that these cultural ideals are imprinted at such a young age, and are so pervasive in our culture, that even the most progressive men likely harbor some of these feelings on an unconscious level.
This traditional view of masculinity has led to a disproportionate stigma surrounding men admitting to, or seeking treatment for, mental health problems. Indeed, men are significantly less likely to seek mental health treatment or talk to others about mental health struggles than women (see this articlein the Guardian). Specifically, studiesshow that much of what keeps men from seeking treatment is the internalized stigma that experiencing mental health problems means that they are “weak.” The stakes for remedying this situation are high. Not only are there a great number of men (and their families by extension) suffering unnecessarily, but men are significantly more likely to die from suicide.
This brings us to more recent events that appear to be challenging this narrative. A story that brought hope that the stigma may be changing was a recent ESPN interviewwith NBA all-star player for the Toronto Raptors DeMar DeRozan, in which he spoke out about his struggle with depression (see video below).
Rather than getting criticized for being “weak”, DeRozan said:
“The response I got from people was so uplifting, positive, refreshing. … You just look at certain things. People say ‘you helped me. Because if you’re going through something like this, I can get through it.’ It’s incredible.”
Days after DeRozan’s revelation, Cleveland Cavaliers all-star forward Kevin Love wrote an articlediscussing his problems with panic attacks, one of which forced him to leave a game and go to the hospital. Importantly, he says he was inspired to come forward after hearing DeRozan’s statement. This shows the snow-ball effect that can happen when men begin to talk openly about such issues. Love too was overwhelming praised and supported. For example, Lebron James, his teammate and arguably the greatest basketball player in the world tweeted:[image error]
[image error]
In addition to athletes, of which there are many more than the ones mentioned above, the rapper and cultural icon Jay-Z recently spokeabout how he has benefited from going to therapy. He advocates the end of the stigma of receiving mental health services, calling it “ridiculous.”
While these are just a few anecdotal accounts, I feel they may represent a broader cultural change in how men view mental health. I chose these examples specifically because they come from the hyper-masculine cultures of sports and hip-hop music. I am not of the opinion that traditional male ideals are all inherently negative and need to be discarded. Rather, the concepts of strength and fearlessness need to be expanded: true strength and fearlessness is the courage to be vulnerable and access the help needed to better oneself, one’s family and community.
Matt Christian, MSW is a therapist with Insight Into Action Therapy. He utilizes a strengths-based approach that leverages clients’ abilities and resiliency in the process of recovery. He also has extensive experience as a practitioner and student in several meditation traditions and incorporates when appropriate. Matt has availability in both Ashburn and Fairfax offices. You can reach him at 703-646-7664 x14 or mchristian@insightactiontherapy.com .
April 16, 2018
Answers to Your Questions About Residential Treatment for Addiction
Check out Cyndi’s most recent article in GoodTherapy.org entitle, Answer to Your Questions About Residential Treatment for Addiction.
Considering residential treatment? Helping a loved one explore their options for addiction treatment? These answers to FAQs about rehab may help you decide.
April 11, 2018
Pets and People
The relationship between pets and people is a long and detailed topic to discuss. Our animal companions are with us in a variety of ways. There are the animals that work such as herding livestock, guarding a place, police work, sniffing contraband, guide dogs, therapy animals, the list goes on. Then there are our companion animals. They are family members; they bring a certain sense of joy, wonder and of course, love to a household. In today’s blog, I’d like to talk about the companion animal – the furry family member.
What makes a person decide they want to bring another being into the house? In some cases, it’s because a child in the home wants a dog or a pet because they like the idea of having one and all of the work will fall to one of the parents. In my own case, as a child, I was already an animal lover. It started with a long-haired guinea pig named Bubbles. A neighbor needed to find a home for her so they asked us. Later on, it was my mother (also an animal lover) who found out from her niece that there was a friend with a dog who had puppies that needed a home. Everyone in the family was on board – except for my father who was voted out. We brought this Schnauzer mix of home and named her Farah. After Farah Fawcett-Majors, it was the 70’s after all.
We all took turns cleaning up after Farah and the other chores including walking, brushing, and loving. We didn’t have any illusions about pet care although theories about pet care were different back then. Even our other relatives like my uncle and my grandmother became attached to this sweet being who loved unconditionally. My father eventually came around to liking her (although to this day I don’t think he’ll admit it).
Animals become part of our lives. We agree to take on the responsibility of caring for one who needs to live in this complicated world that we as a people have created. As an animal communicator, the main thing that our animals want for us is to have fun. They want us to enjoy being with them, to smile, to laugh and to live in the moment with gusto. They also need and want boundaries, because they like leadership. They need to be sure that we can guide them without completely losing our composure when a chaotic situation is happening (like moving houses, for example).
Some people will choose an animal because they like the idea of having one but don’t do their research on what it takes to own that breed or what it takes to make them happy. Bengal cats for example, require lots of mental stimulation as do Border Collies. When this happens, the owner is in for a rude awakening. Unless the owner can change, the animal winds up in a shelter.
The main thing to remember in the relationship between pets and people is that our animal companions are thinking, feeling, sentient beings who have their own opinion about the world around them. Animals are emotional beings who also want to be heard and understood. If as a pet owner you are willing to be quiet, still, and open to the possibility of what your animal companion has to say – you might be surprised at what they have to say. Just like people.
Holli Shan is an Animal Communication Counselor whose mission is to bridge the gap of understanding between animals and their people. Receive her free report on “Top 4 Tips for Animal Communication” by emailing holli@compassionspeaks.com with the subject “Tips for Animal Communication”.
April 2, 2018
What Should I Look for When Seeking Help for Drug or Alcohol Abuse?
You’ve decided to seek help for substance abuse, but how do you know where to start looking for help? These considerations can help you find the right support.
March 22, 2018
March 12, 2018
Mindfulness and Meditation: The Newest Fad or a Doorway to Mental Balance?
The terms “mindfulness” and “meditation” have become such buzzwords in our current culture that one wonders if they are the psychological equivalent of the latest overhyped “lose weight quick” fad. However, mindfulness and meditation’s benefits have been experienced worldwide for at least 3,000 years! While mindfulness and meditation are closely related, I think it’s important to start with some simple definitions:
Mindfulness is simply paying attention to the present moment, intentionally, without judging what’s happening.
Meditation is a more formal practice where the individual usually sits quietly, although it can also be done standing, lying or walking, as a means to train their attention and gain greater insight.
But let’s back up a second. I fear this is starting to sound a bit esoteric. While mindfulness is not easy, it is unbelievably simple. The instructions may go something like this:
Pay attention to your breath (or whatever your object of focus might be)
Notice when you get lost in thought
Bring your attention back to your breath or object (i.e. the present moment)
That’s it! Now when you try the practice,
you’re first reaction will probably be, “I’m terrible at this.” However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. The fact that you’ve noticed that you got lost in thought is the “secret sauce” that gives the practice it’s power. Every time you notice you get lost in thought, and then bring your attention back to the object of focus (the present moment), it is like doing a bicep curl for your brain. It is a powerful realization to notice just how scattered your mind normally is throughout the day – constantly questioning the past and worrying about the future!
Now this would all just be interesting conjecture if there wasn’t such a large body of scientific evidence supporting the benefits of mindfulness and meditation. My favorite study, which points to why mindfulness and meditation may be so useful in modern times, comes from the University of Virginia. The study, entitled Just Think: The Challenges of the Disengaged Mind placed college undergrads and citizens from the local town in a room by themselves for 12-15 minutes. An ankle bracelet was placed on participants with which they could give themselves a painful electric shock if they chose. Overall, the participants reported the experience as extremely unpleasant and most of the men and ¼ of the women chose to administer themselves with a painful electric shock (maybe this proves women are smarter than men…). Just take a second to consider what this means: simply sitting with oneself peacefully in a room was so unpleasant that many of the participants preferred to cause themselves physical pain! I ask: if it is so uncomfortable to “just be” with ourselves, how are we going to truly have peace in our lives? I believe this is especially relevant to the younger generation who have a hard time being away from their phones for more than a minute.
As previously stated, there is a litany of scientifically validated benefits of mindfulness and meditation, too many to get into in this blog post. However, I thought it’d be interesting to touch on a few:
Addiction: In one study a mindfulness-based program was compared to the American Lung
Association’s Smoking Cessation Program. Participants in the mindfulness group were several times more likely to have quit smoking, and at a 17-week follow-up, were more likely to still be abstaining from smoking.
In addition, another study, among others, found that a mindfulness-based intervention (MBI) was associated with a larger reduction in alcohol and illicit substance use compared to Treatment As Usual (TAU), which consisted of psychoeducation, 12-step groups and relapse prevention groups.
Anxiety and Depression: A meta-analysis of studies that tested the
effects of mindfulness-based therapies on anxiety and depression found robust positive effects from these interventions. Also, in another meta-analysis Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy was effective at preventing relapse of depression in individuals with chronic depression and in some studies was at least as effective as maintenance antidepressant therapy.
Physical Changes to Your Brain: New brain research has disproven the idea that you are stuck with the brain you were born with. It is now proven that the brain is “plastic” (neuroplasticity is the term used by brain researchers) and changes with changing experiences. Harvard neuroscientist Sara Lazar discovered that just eight weeks of a mindfulness meditation program actually thickened areas of the brain associated with learning, memory, emotion regulation, empathy and the area associated with neurotransmitter regulation. In addition, a decrease in thickness was shown in the area of the brain associated with stress and anxiety. In just 8-weeks participants actually changed their brain!
Now, while all this research is exciting and inspiring, it should be made clear that mindfulness and meditation are not a panacea that will solve all your problems. In terms of psychological applications, mindfulness and meditation is often best used as an adjunct to other proven treatments, including traditional psychotherapy and pharmacological treatments if prescribed by your doctor. However, I believe developing a simple meditation practice can be very beneficial for just about everyone. Remember, start slow! Even 5 minutes a day is a great place to begin and can show results!
If you’re interested in learning more about mindfulness and meditation and how it could be clinically useful to you or a loved one suffering from mental illness or stress, visit http://insightactiontherapy.com/ We’d love to talk!
Matt Christian, MSW
February 14, 2018
How Are You Doing With Your Resolutions?
It’s been about a month since you made your New Years resolutions. If you wanted to make some changes to your alcohol consumption, I developed a tool to help you assess your progress. In sessions with my clients, I talk about what I call the Gut Check. It has four main areas to help you evaluate your plan’s effectiveness: Amount, Frequency, Impact, and Intent.
I teach people to ask themselves these types of questions for each of the four areas:
Amount: Am I sticking to the amount of drinks that I agreed upon? Often people will say that they will have two alcoholic beverages. Yet they find themselves pouring larger and larger amounts. Or they are not being as cautious in situations when someone else is refilling their glass.
Frequency: How often am I drinking? Am I sticking to my resolution? Sometimes people begin finding more and more situations where they want to drink or places where alcohol is going to be present. Do you find yourself seeking it out? How do you feel when you don’t drink? There may be more work to do to address these areas.
Impact: When I drink what happens? Am I experiencing consequences? Are those consequences worth it to be able to consume alcohol? What are my loved ones saying about my drinking? They often can spot subtle changes in mood and behavior and help to catch things before they get out of control.
Intent: Why am I consuming alcohol? Do I truly enjoy the taste and the experience of my drink? Or am I trying to change my mood? Watch out for any emerging or reemergence of mental health symptoms like depression, anxiety, insomnia, mood shifts, etc. Look for other ways to celebrate, manage stress, or mark the transition from work to relaxation. Be aware of falling back into old habits by being intentional about changing these patterns.
If you have gone through a period of abstinence, you need to be prepared for what it might be like to resume alcohol use. Some of my clients have been surprised at how badly they feel when they begin drinking again. They had faithfully tracked their alcohol free days. It was a way to earn back trust from family members and increase their damaged self esteem from the past choices they made in r
elation to their drinking. Don’t be surprised if you don’t experience the same pleasure you did from drinking. In fact, Moderation Management found that about one third of the people who stop drinking decide to remain alcohol free. Your perspective may change too.
Ultimately, I want you to have a healthier relationship with alcohol. That might mean taking a break from, ending the relationship with, or defining new terms with drinking. I have often said:
“Drinking alcohol is like eating donuts. Occasionally having one or two will not hurt you. But having multiple a day is eventually going to lead to serious consequences.”
For more information about your relationship with alcohol, check out my #1 New Release book: Can I Keep Drinking? How You Can Decide When Enough is Enough.
Alcohol Moderation After the Holidays
The holidays are over. You probably attended many parties and family gatherings. Now you are left with unwanted pounds from all that food. And a bigger gut from all of the alcohol you drank. Maybe you imbibed a little too much on New Years Eve. The next morning you swore you would make a change.
Was cutting back on drinking one of your resolutions? If so, let me give you some tips on how to create a Moderate Drinking Plan. But, first let’s define what alcohol moderation is.
Moderation has also been called moderate drinking, asymptomatic drinking, controlled drinking, or reduced risk drinking. The Dietary Guidelines for Americans defines moderate alcohol consumption as having up to one drink per day for women and up to two drinks per day for men. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse & Alcoholism (NIAAA) offers another definition: up to four alcoholic drinks for men and three for women in any single day, according to and a maximum of 14 drinks for men and 7 drinks for women per week. I have found NIAAA’s guideline to be more risky. Many people start to feel an effect of the alcohol after two drinks and may be intoxicated by four drinks, thus having a harder time sticking within his or her predetermined number of drinks.
A standard drink= 12ounces of beer=5ounces of wine=1.5ounces 80-proof liquor
Prior to developing a Moderate Drinking Plan, I recommend that you:
Have not developed a physical dependence on alcohol
Understand the biological, psychological, and social impact alcohol on yourself and your loved ones
Can commit to not engaging in unsafe behavior after drinking any amount of alcohol, such as driving a vehicle, operating machinery, or caring for another person
Do not misuse other mood-altering substances
Do not act in self-destructive ways after drinking even a small amount of alcohol
Determined that it is safe to continue drinking
Some components that I include on a Moderate Drinking Plan are:
Why I want to continue drinking
Situations where I will/will not consume alcohol
How many drinks I will have at a time
How often I will drink
What I will/won’t have
A person to help me review my plan
What I/we will do if I am not sticking to my plan
Most of the people who have the best chances of success do things like:
Have no more than one drink per hour
Alternate between an alcoholic drink and a non-alcoholic one
Eat something when consuming alcohol
Drink only in social situations
Do not drink to alter their mood
Your Moderate Drinking Plan should be revised as goals change and lifestyle demands. For example, as someone becomes a parent, his or her consumption patterns are likely to decrease. Parents of pre-teens and adolescents will want to be aware of the messages they are sending regarding alcohol. Obviously if a medical issue arises, the plan will need to be adapted.
A Moderate Drinking Plan should not be written in stone. Watch out for denial of how well you are sticking to your plan. Involving a friend or family member in the moderation process leads to better success.
Stay tuned next week for tools to monitor your Moderate Drinking Plan.
January 28, 2018
January 22, 2018
Day 17 – Why One Therapist Recommends Four Months Alcohol Free
Check out Cyndi’s most recent article in Dryuary.org as part of the Druary Challenge entitled Day 17- Why one Therapist Recommends Four Months Alcohol Free
