Graeme Rodaughan's Blog: Writing The Metaframe War Series, page 6

The Dragon's Den - Review #1

I was going to review “The Dragon’s Den,” and I was wondering how to do it without introducing an author’s bias, when I received an email from one of my sources from the world of the Metaframe. I decided to present it below…

***

I was wandering the streets and back alleys of the city, wondering what was going to happen in a ‘A Dragon’s Den.’

“Pssssstttt,” said a form standing in the deep shadows of the alleyway. “Do you want some?”

“What?” I said, as the hairs on the back of my neck started to rise, a dreadful itch working it’s way into existence between my shoulder blades.

“Books mate. I’m a Booklegger, I’ve got dozens of copies of The Dragon’s Den.”

“The Dragon’s Den?”

“Yeah. The Metaframe War series - the real stuff - not the cheap and shiny stuff.”

I stroked my chin, glancing around the street, which had suddenly become deserted in the last couple of minutes. A stray breeze rallied into a gust, sending a rusted coke can scuttling along the sidewalk. I had to admit to myself that I was secretly intrigued by his offer - how had he come by such treasures?

I needed to know, so I said, “Ok, show me what you’ve got, and I’ll see if I really want it enough to pay your price.”

He emerged from the shadows, he was tall, thick set and bearded, cloaked in a long, dark duster and broad brimmed hat. All I could see by the street lamps was the bottom of his face, a crooked grin curling the edges of his thin lipped mouth.

“Price? Don’t worry about the price, it’s only a small thing that I ask for, and I find that most people don’t miss it once it’s gone,” he said, chuckling quietly for a long, lingering moment.

My hackles rose, I felt the itch between my shoulder blades begin to grow, stretching out familiar fingers, as my skin began to transform.

I growled, my voice suddenly an octave lower, “No one booklegs the Metaframe War series!"

He snarled, I leaped, we clashed, hard and fast. He was dense muscle under the duster and I felt like I was working against stone as we fought.

But stone can be brittle and I knew this was only going to end one way for him - badly.

Blood splashed onto the cobblestones and for a moment I wondered if it was mine.

***

The email had nothing more, I wonder if my source is alright. I would hate to lose him.

My Review of L.J. Hayward's Rock Paper Sorcery

Rock Paper Sorcery by L.J. Hayward

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Another brilliant instalment in L.J. Hayward's Night Call series.

Bad ass, monster head kicker, and psychic warrior, Matt Hawkins normally works with his sole partner - Mercy the vampire. But lately his been getting a few jobs with P.I. Erin McRae and the latest is a stakeout on a suspect in a monkey heist.

Well the stakeout goes sideways - massively. Who knew there could be so much trouble to find a few missing monkeys.

Matt gets a new partner. A texan sorceror with oodles of charm covering a dreadful wound. Randy Devantier has an agenda of his own and a rogue sorceror in Matt's home town is his personal target.

With sorcerous battles occuring left and right, a cranky under-fed vampire giving him the cold shoulder, and a rogue sorceror dabbling in the most dangerous magic Matt's ever seen. It's enough to drive a man berserk - permanently.

Matt faces his toughest challenges yet in this precisely plotted delight of a novel.

L.J. Hayward writes with a deceptively easy to read prose that laces humour over drama, and reveals a deeply felt and beautifully nuanced presentation of friendship and love triumphing over darkness (both internal and external).

I'm quite blown away - please L.J. give me more of this.

Absolutely recommend this for anyone who loves a good story (just read the first and second books first).






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My Review of J. Sheridan Le Fanu's 'Carmilla'

Carmilla by J. Sheridan Le Fanu

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


After reading this book, I am left frustrated and oddly underwhelmed.

The smartest character in the story is the antagonist (who is not that smart), who proceeds to charm and bamboozle an array of protagonists who are all very nice, and not the least given to suspicion of others.

There are multiple events where the fact that Carmilla is a vampire is hinted at with growing strength, upto and including the discovery of a perfect portrait painted in the dim past. Le Fanu doesn't quite get to the point of hanging a sign, written in fresh blood around Carmilla's neck proclaiming, "I am a vampire, and I am here to kill you." But he gets close.

With the characters stumbling about in their ignorance as the Vampire runs rings around them - I was left imagining shooting fish in a barrel. I found myself thinking what if a terrible blizzard arrived that shut up the Schloss for 3 days (and especially 3 nights). Leaving Carmilla alone with only the hero, Laura (our narrator), her father, the governess, and the other staff without any hope of escape. As the death toll mounted, the presence of a vampire would quickly become obvious. Laura would then be confronted with a need to make a decision of consequence and take irrevocable action. Something she really doesn't get much of a chance to do.

Passive characters, especially if the narrator are frustrating.

On the plus side, the author has made an excellent stab at establishing the vampire genre. He has also provided a clever subplot of lesbian love. Neither would have been easy to do in his day and age.

Also the description of the actual vampire attacks is genuinely spooky and admirable writing.

While this book failed to excite me with it's general lack of pace and suspense, I'm sure that it has qualites that many would appreciate. Especially those with a taste for "Creeping Horror."

On a weird personal note. I had a dream while reading this novel where I was visited by a dark haired female vampire and I willing offered my arm to her. Something that I have never done before in a dream. What was also noteworthy was the experience of personal intimacy that accompanied the act of freely giving blood to sustain another.

The sultry summer evening had barely given way to the night. I had left the bedroom doors open to the balcony to allow a light breeze to circulate. I lay back on the bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep. The house belonged to me, I was its sole occupant, but the loneliness of this house weighed heavily - it was not a home.

Moonlight cut through the room, then it vanished for an instant. A momentary shadow flitting through the doorway, entering my bedroom and filling it with a pervasive sense of possession - the room was no longer mine.

My heart thudded in my chest. I suddenly sat up, pressing backward against the headboard. There was someone in the room, the feeling of her presence was overwhelming, but I couldn't see anyone - there was no one there.

The shadows thickened at the end of my bed. I stared, frozen where I sat, as the shadows coalesced into the ethereal shape of a young woman. She wore a light diaphanous gown. Her hair was lustrous black, her skin pale like marble, her eyes were large and dark, her lips red, full and slightly curved in a coy smile.

Her form solidified. A faint perfume filled the air. She seemed deeply familiar, and yet, I had never seen her before - at least I had no memory of ever meeting her and I'm sure I would not have forgotten.

She moved to her right, floating, lithe, serene. She was majestic and mesmerizing - power beyond words was bound up in her gaze. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her even if I tried.

She sat down beside me, gently picking up my left arm with her cool hands. She turned it over, palm up. I didn't resist - I didn't want to. I lifted my arm up and she lent forward.

A bell rang in the distance, a muffled warning - ignored and discarded in the face of her needs. Needs I was a willing servant to.

Moonlight gleamed on her ivory fangs. She leaned further in, first kissing, then licking - finally biting. A single drop of blood fell off my wrist, dark against the white bed sheet. She murmured in delight, my heart beat hard in my chest, but I stayed still - unwilling to disturb her feast.

Everything was for her...

(inspired by my dream while reading this book...)

I am left wondering just how deep this story can creep into you when you read it?



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What if writing a story was like writing software :-).

One of my friends, Alex G, posed the following question on a thread over at Goodreads Group World, Writing, Wealth

"...In software, the agile process has taken hold. the basic idea is to build, in 2-4 week increments, a working software product to show to potential customers. at the end of each increment, the product should be able to be delivered to the customer with a certain small number of features. furthermore, the agile process incorporates the concept of continuous improvement in that it usually takes practice to perform to a certain level. perhaps, there's something for authors to learn from this... "

Ok, I like a challenge - so let's try this on.

I write approx 1 chapter every 4 weeks. So we could 'agile' on a chapter by chapter basis with a 4 week cycle.

My readers are my customers, so I get a website and bang up each chapter for the readers every month to get their feedback on the development of the product.

As I get feedback from the first chapter dribbling back in over the next month, I'm already drafting/writing chapter 2 while getting confused about the applicability of the feedback for chapter 1.

2nd month concludes, I put my second chapter up on the website, start processing updates on the first chapter based on "customer feedback". I find that my MC is the most hated character but would be much better as a shape-shifting dragon. I start re-writing chapter 1, while drafting/writing chapter 3 with the new angle built in.

New feedback arrives from chapter 2 readers, along with late feedback from chapter 1 readers. It turns out chapter two readers think that my number one villain and their apprentice should be lovers (but a little kinky - or a lot kinky depending on the feedback). I split the middle and set up a love/hate triangle between the Villain, their Apprentice and my Shifter Dragon MC.

Very late feedback on chapter 1 results in a quick turn-about on the MC who moves from shifter dragon to shifter centaur. I re-write chapters 2 & 3 with the MC as a shifter centaur in a love triangle.

Meanwhile I publish chapter 3 for the perusal of my loyal readers. I get a lot of feedback about the love triangle. There are two distinct groups. Team Villain and Team Apprentice. Equally split. No one likes the idea of the centaur and I shift the MC to female who is now a mermaid princess cursed by an evil, long dead, magician. I reverse the sex of both the Villain and the Apprentice and re-write chapters 1-3.

A complete chapter 4 a month late and put it up on the website.

New feedback comes in on chapter 1 stating how much they loved the shifter dragon. I add the shifter dragon as a tiny, but wisecracking pet, for the mermaid princess (while having nightmares about 'Mulan' and 'Pinocchio') The pet is a huge hit when I publish chapter 5, but feedback from chapter 4 indicates that everyone is glad that the mermaid princess doesn't have a silly sidekick.

Confused, I kill off the wisecracking tiny water dragon in chapter 6 where he bravely and suicidally pits his meagre fighting prowess against the 'big bad' villain (who is secretly in love with the mermaid while two-timing the apprentice.)

I put chapter 6 up on the website, just as a pile of chapter 5 feedback arrives. The two teams (Villain/Apprentice) remain equally split, however there is a general consensus that the apprentice is not getting enough time on page and comes off as two dimensional and wooden. Also everyone hates the idea of killing off the pet dragon.

I re-write chapter 6 and make the fight between the pet dragon and the apprentice, where the apprentice in a moment of true love, self sacrifices themselves for the Villain while being defeated by the pet dragon - now beefed up and fire breathing with super martial arts skills.

Re-present chapter 6, and start drafting/writing chapter 7 - now that the pet dragon has demonstrated kick-ass combat skills they out shine the princess (effing) mermaid and become the new MC.

Go back and re-write chaps 1-6 to foreshadow the rise of "the great powers of the deeps" aka "Green Dragon," as the major story arc.

Re-present all chapters back up on the website for "customer feedback." Get a single email asking what happened to the shifter Centaur. Followed by a flood of mail re' what happened to the mermaid princess.

Re-write all chapters - make the 'big bad' villain the 'supposedly dead' mage who cursed the (now 2x effing) mermaid princess, and who secretly hates/loves (or loves/hates) her. The mage turns out to be her father (in a big reveal at the end of chapter 8) setting up for the finale (.eeeww - that's nasty - turns out the love was of the parental sort for a wayward child - and nothing more). The Apprentice (resurrected) comes to the fore but proves to be a complete CAD (now having nightmares of 'Frozen').

Draft/Write chapter 9, resolve it all, the mermaid princess finally listens to the wise advice of her pet dragon, avoids the overtures of the pratish apprentice and is granted a kingdom by her father who abdicates in her favour.

Put final chapter on website. Get an email wondering what ever happened to the shifter Dragon as MC.

Toss hands in air....

Discounted Books Week - Right Now

A new discount week will run from Saturday the 20th of May to Thursday the 25th of May 2017.

UPDATE: Given timezones - this is pretty much on right now...

2 books, 450+ pages of Urban Fantasy, Techno-Thrilling goodness with vampires with attitude.

[1] A Subtle Agency, book #1 of 'The Metaframe War' series will be discounted from $2.99 to $0.99USD on all Amazon marketplaces. The main US link is here.

[2] A Traitor's War, book #2 of 'The Metaframe War' series will be discounted from $5.99 to $2.99USD on all Amazon marketplaces. The main US link is here.

Recent reviews are below.

[A Subtle Agency] Anton was just a bright student and hockey player when he met a beautiful woman standing at his doorstep. Little did he know that she would change his life as he knew it; in the most drastic ways possible.


[A Traitor's War] A Traitor’s War is everything that A Subtle Agency was, and more. A lot more. More action, more suspense, more intrigue, more twists, more gadgets and techy stuff, more blood and gore...

On sale now.

Re-imagining 'The Call of Cthulhu'

Putting the ending of HP Lovecraft's Call of Cthulhu through a makeover. This is fan fiction and not intended for profit.


March 22nd.
S. Latitude 49 51, W. Longitude 128 34.

Gustaf Johansen, formerly 2nd mate of the Emma and now in command of the privateer, Alert, pushed his dirty-blond hair back from his eyes, and stared at the photograph of his wife. He trembled with reaction for a long moment, his hands shaking from the aftermath of battle. The photo slipped from his grip, but even with his strained nerves, he caught it again before it fell to the floor.

He longed to return to her. He missed her terribly. Silently praying for their reunion; his prayer a slim flame of faith before a storm of doubt. Captain Collins and 1st mate Green were dead; slaughtered by the mad crew of the Alert. Now the safety of the surviving crew fell to him, an unexpected and dreadful responsibility.

With a metal clip, he pinned the photo onto the mirror of a locker room door in the captain’s cabin. He glanced in the mirror, taking a second look before he recognized himself. His face was black with soot, speckled with the blood and filth of other men. The eyes peering back at him were shrouded with a nightmare of sudden violence.

The original crew of the Alert had attacked the Emma with fanatical determination, but had died as the Emma sank beneath the waves. The desperate crew of the Emma, led by Johansen, had slain them all in a vicious battle of sharp knives, lethal hooks and heavy bludgeons. Now, counting himself, there were eight survivors to crew the Alert back to a safe harbor.

Heavy storms had blown the Emma far off course before the fateful encounter with the crew of the Alert. They were deep in the South Pacific. Johansen wondered to himself what dangers remained to be faced on the return voyage. Would he be able to bring his crew safely back to port? Would he be reunited with his beloved wife?

And what part would be played by the strange, squid-dragon idol? Whose presence had sent a dreadful shiver up his spine before he had even laid eyes upon it. Whose sight had almost unmanned him with terror. An object of veneration by the crew of the Alert, who had chanted its foul name as they attacked with crazed abandon.

‘Cthulhu! Cthulhu! Cthulhu!’

He had to know. He vowed to himself to uncover the mysteries of the idol and the terrifying madness it inspired or die trying.

* * *

Read it in full here.

Let the Raven decide

Starting to write scenes for book #3 of The Metaframe War series, The Dragon's Den.

The design is complete, except one thing troubles me - a decision by the Raven made near the end of the book.

The decision and the motivation for it doesn't quite ring true for me, and at the moment I'm not sure what they should do.

So, I'm going to trust that the Raven knows what they want and will tell me in due course.

This is a first for me, trusting that a character is mature enough and well developed enough to tell me - the author - precisely what they really want to do.

This is where design shifts to inspiration.

And I'm going with that.

Striving for Perfection and other Obsessions

As some will know, I've recently published my second book.

Pre-publish activities include a great deal of review, and trying to eradicate every last issue.

Well it doesn't work - at least not perfectly.

I get my first physical copy of the published book, and leafing through it, my eye settles on a classic mistake.

"blah blah!" He said.

Capitalisation of a personal pronoun directly after an exclamation mark, as if, the exclamation mark was the end of the sentence???

I spit chips ... spill my coffee and throw my mug at the nearest wall where it shatters into a thousand pieces... steaming ... crushed ... I drop to my knees, throw my shaking fists into the air and scream, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

I check the source file, and do a search for '!" H' and the possible variations involving a '?' and an 'S'.

I find another instance....

Spewing!

I then discover an internal dialog quote, you know the sort where someone says, "And then Bill said, 'blighty,' and I just couldn't believe my ears."

Where the trailing ' was some other sort of 'other' notation, something like `, or some other font???

My right eye started to twitch uncontrollably....

[INSERT Cluster F-Bomb]...

Then I'm looking at one of my combat scenes, something I'm actually quite good at, and I'm just not happy, it's looking clunky - I'm sure it could be better. I want to change it...

(This is me drawing a line...) _____________________________________________

Right - I'm just going to let this go. Allow a couple of very small errors that 99% of people will just gloss straight over because they wont see it - because they're absorbed in the story....

Because I know where this road leads, and that is to a personal hell of endless revision and rework, and zero productivity.

I just thought I would share this experience of 'being a novelist,' with all of you. I'm sure some of you will relate to my little tale of woe and the necessity of drawing a line under a finished piece of work.

5 Stars Well Earned. Demon Dei by L.J. Hayward

Demon Dei by L.J. Hayward

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


A supernatural murder mystery thriller, laced with assassins, vampires, ghouls, and the most seductively dangerous demons in this dimension or any other.

Matt Hawkins has to expand his repertoire beyond bad-ass monster kicker when he is asked to assist in the investigation of the murder of a talented physicist. Before he knows it, he's embroiled in the power plays of the political machinations of Hell and the immediate target of very powerful adversaries.

Even with the help of PI Erin McRae, and the lethal vampire Mercy, his survival and the future of the world are very much in doubt.

L.J. Hayward excels at finely drawn, nuanced characters, and tightly plotted stories. Always very entertaining. This book kept me up past midnight more than once, and for me (a slow reader), I raced through it.

I would absolutely recommend this book to anyone with a desire to read quality fantasy written by a talented author.

5 stars well earned.



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WOW! The Sins of the Father: Review of Salvage: A Ghost story by Duncan Ralston

Salvage: a Ghost Story by Duncan Ralston

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


WOW!

And I don't say that often or lightly.

Well done Duncan Ralston. My goodness - what a great work of story art you have created here.

The first two thirds of the story had me wondering with some uneven pacing, but the story continued to develop and matured into something I could easily see penned by Stephen King.

I strongly recommend this book to anyone who has any desire to read a decent ghost story, murder mystery and profound personal redemption story rolled into one.

Blown away.

Headline: The sins of the father.



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