Graeme Rodaughan's Blog: Writing The Metaframe War Series, page 3
October 28, 2018
[SPOILERS WITHIN] The Haunting of Hill House (Netflix) - Why it Sucked Big Time!
First off - I haven't read The Haunting of Hill House so my experience of the Netflix production is untainted by expectations drawn from reading the book.
I'm referring to this production from Netflix (reported at IMDB) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6763664/
What I experienced can be summed up as follows.
I loved (past tense) the series, I thought it was really well done, spooky, scary, effective story telling - right up until the ending...
The ending was terrible - it absolutely sucked big time - stronger than the La Brea tar pits consuming a herd of Mammoths.
What a horrible disaster the ending was. It showed up like an infectious disease that swept through everything preceding the ending, and turned the whole lot into an appalling, stinking pile of garbage.
The ending was a complete failure of courage on the part of the writers/directors/producers - whatever - I'm still shaking my head at the visceral experience of watching something that could have been epic turned into vomit.
I will not forget the garbage that was served up at the end of this series for a long time, and I'm amazed at the ending's toxic power to destroy the value of what preceded it.
I'm struggling to think of anything that was this bad.
What was it, 10 episodes. 9 and 3/4 hours of good story telling utterly destroyed in 15 minutes.
The last 10-15 minutes were a major missed opportunity.
I'm flabbergasted and feel sick to my stomach.
I'm insulted by the producers of this appalling garbage.
Why I had that experience is hidden within the spoilers below - this will spoil the ending for you.
<spoiler>Well, for some reason spoiler tags not working...</spoiler>
Reasons
[1] Violation of Promises of Resolution: Early in the story, several things are established that define specific questions, and provide implicit promises to the viewer that demand resolution. (A question, with an implied promise of resolution.)
(a) The Hill House is haunted by one or more evil spirits - the implied question of the presence of evil is will it be confronted? The implied promise is that Hill House will be confronted, and the presence of evil will be resolved (one way or another.)
(b) The Crain family are good people who have been horribly traumatized by events within Hill House - the question is - Will the family reconcile and heal? There is an implied promise that this important question will be resolved (one way or another.)
Neither promise is properly honored, and while 'resolved,' the methods of resolution dissipate the energy of the conflict between Hill House and the Crain family, rather than transforming that energy into powerful emotional effect.
I don't know how anyone can imagine that an insipid ending is a good thing.
In the final episode; The surviving members of the Crain family converge on Hill House. A convergence that would normally precede an effective final resolution of the main questions. Will the evil in Hill House be confronted, and will the Crain family reconcile? - It appears that both will occur together....
The setup to the climax was excellent, everything was pointing in the right direction for a powerful climax and comprehensive, meaningful resolution - it's at the climax of the story and its immediate aftermath that it all turns into the proverbial... and gold is turned into lead.
[1.a] Anticlimax: By violating the implicit promises established early in the story, the producers have provided a stunning anti-climax that robbed the story of its meaning and spoiled the emotional payoff of an effective ending.
[1.b] Zero Resolution: The character of Poppy Hill (one of the Hill House ghosts) becomes the visible voice of Hill House. An attractive socialite she is the alluring vehicle for lies that trap the Crain family, and especially Olivia Crain (the mother) and Nell (the youngest daughter).
In the final episode, after vigorously defending the house - she just fades away... nothing happens to her, she's just taken off scene - Hill House remains UNCONFRONTED - First Question/Promise violated as the evil in Hill House is not confronted. Instead, the evil is accepted... (see below).
[1.c] Events without Context:
(a) Luke attempts to burn down Hill House, his attempt to light gallons of gasoline fails, then Poppy Hill attacks, and his POV is lost.
(b) Hugh Crain (Dad) appears to catch a rotting, mold disease from the Hill House wall, falls to the floor, and then later is better again.
[1.d] Deus Ex Machinas:
(a) Later Luke is discovered by his brothers and sisters. He has mainlined rat poison and is unconscious and frothing blood at the mouth... he dies, is rescued by his ghost sister Nell, is later transported to hospital and lives a happy healthy life.
(b) Hugh's recovery from the rot/mold attack just happens.
[2] Flipping the Meaning: The meaning of the story gets flipped including the essential nature of Hill House.
From being a confrontation between abject, supernatural evil, and a good family on the brink of destruction to valorisation of evil and the reveal that all you had to do to save the family was tell the truth... (as defined by Hill House - and we will get to that later...).
OMG: The character of Nell (the youngest daughter) as a ghost acting to 'save,' her family at the end, has this long monologue at the very end which provides the essential message of the story.
Nell's speech is the essence of the meaning of the story. In it she explains that time is fragmentary, we are all just atomized nothings, without any power to affect anything, immersed in a sea of 'confetti,' events without justification or meaning. We have one thing to hold onto - and that's love.
This is "The Art of Psychopathic Attack 101." When a psychopath attacks the mind of a victim, a key outcome is the disempowerment of the victim, destroy their confidence that they can have any impact on the world, make them dependent on the psychopath's definitions of the world. For the psychopath - shape your victims perception of reality and establish control.
The meaning of love is shifted from a life affirming power to a crutch you can lean on as you limp through your own disempowered existence in a meaningless life.
Pure Unadulterated Garbage.
[Side Note] Having a character make an exposition statement to explain everything is poor writing - and the reason the producers needed Nell's speech in the first place is because they destroyed the natural power of the available endings (see below) and substituted their toxic garbage in place of good story telling.
[3] Valorising Evil: (The worst aspect of this mess): The modus operandi of the House is to use lies to seduce people into murder and suicide. The House delights in murder, and the especially the murder of the innocent (children). The House is about as evil as anything can be. There is a brief image of the front of the House where the word "Hill," has been overwritten by "Hell." The meaning is clear, Hill House is an extension of Hell into the mortal world.
Nell's speech reveals all...
The essential meaning and subtext of this story is that you are a disempowered nothing surrounded my meaningless, disconnected events over which you have no control. Your best response is to focus on the crutch of 'love,' to allow you to limp through your disempowered life while others (Hill House) shape your perception of reality.
Furthermore, the resolution of the conflict between Hill House and the Crain family is resolved by acceptance of Evil. I.e. Evil is just misunderstood. Hill House is simply a rest home for lost souls to be re-united with loved ones. This is exemplified in the last ten minutes when an aged Mr. Dudley (the caretakers) brings his near death wife into the house where she expires, and is immediately re-united with her dead children.
Hill House is a kinda Hotel California, - once you visit, you can never leave. The illusion is only present inside the house. The house consumes souls like a spiritual denizen of the oceanic depths that lures its prey with a phosphorescent light dangling a foot in front of its gaping jaws.
("Love is the crutch - and don't you forget it." - whispers this story, as it dangles the lure/love in front of you)
Hell is really Heaven - don't cha know?
That sucks! That's an evil message, and it's a horrible lie designed to rob you of authentic participation as an active agent shaping your own life.
Believe Nell's message at your own risk.
I could go on and on about how bad this is - but let's have a look at other viable endings that would have been AUTHENTIC with the implied promises. (Lack of authenticity is a big tell about how bad this story is...)
[4] Powerful, memorable endings were available - and not used:
The Crain family unites in a convergence confronting the evil of Hill House. This satisfies all the promises. Once the family is united in a confrontation with the evil of Hill House, the energy of that intrinsic conflict could have been dialed up to 11 and then transformed into a powerful, and memorable ending.
Instead the energy of the conflict is dissipated by flipping the evil of Hill House to the 'good,' of Hill House. Let's all forget the lies inducing suicide and child murder, that's right, fade Poppy Hill off scene as she needs to be forgotten, and replaced by the sympathetic ghost Nell who comes to the fore to explain the 'true,' meaning of Hill House.
It could have ended in one of three ways.
[+ve] After a desperate confrontation against the evil of Hill House, the Crain family burn it to the ground. (kinda nuke it from orbit scenario - as it's the only way to be sure). The energy of the conflict is released as a triumphant validation of good and family over evil.
[balanced/pyrric] After a desperate confrontation against the evil of Hill House, the surviving member of the Crain family burns it to the ground. Then laments the short lived unity of the family as everyone else has died confronting a terrifying evil. The energy of the conflict is released as a poignant tragedy amidst the validation of familial love.
This would be my favorite possible ending.
A pyrric victory would include the self-sacrifice of family members to save the lone survivor, so they could complete the destruction of Hill House. Self sacrifice provides a potent validation of the healing of the family at the climax of the story, with that healing then providing the specific context for the resolution of the confrontation of good vs evil (to the +ve), but flavored with the heroic loss of loved ones.
[-ve] The Crain family bravely goes into the mouth of hell (aka Hill House) and none emerge. The house remains, the porch light flickering on and off, a red glow leaking from the many windows. The energy of the conflict is released as shivers of unremitting horror. Family love is not necessarily strong enough to overcome abject evil - beware.
As you can see, powerful endings were available to the writers, directors and producers, and instead of honoring the implied promises made in the first 9 hours and 45 minutes of story-telling they turn around and valorise lying to induce suicide and child murder as a misunderstood good, and then attempt to sell you the idea that you are a disempowered nothing surrounded by events over which you have no control, and that really - you deserve to be lied to and have your perception of reality shaped by others.
[Defending Psychopathy?]
I shake my head - the people who devised this ending are either consciously valorising psychopathy or they are clueless.
October 17, 2018
The Crane War - Cover
What do you think?
October 15, 2018
The Day Guard on sale from the 1st November 2018
The Day Guard by Graeme RodaughanI was about to write a review for The Day Guard, then I realized, I’m just too close to this project to rid myself of authorial bias. So, I figured it would be interesting to send out a little memo to the unsung crew who have assisted with the writing of this
This is what I got back.
"Your memo requesting feedback on your ‘project,’ was prepared on A4 white paper. We demand all communications be prepared on vellum, sourced from human skin, and hand written in your own blood. Your lack of compliance with this rule has resulted in the issuing of a formal notice of warning. I remind you, this is your second warning, and there will not be a third. Kind regards." - Ludmilla, first advocate of the Guild of Vampire Characters.
"Thanks for your memo, it generated a good laugh in the staff room. We’ll get back to you next year … if we feel like it. Bwahahahahahaha…" - The staff at Narratives “R” Us.
"Your memo requesting feedback on your project had three misplaced commas, four misspellings, a sentence without a verb, a confusion over the different use of to and too, was written in the passive voice, and was possibly plagiarized. We have made a number of red-line markups. Please correct and reissue your memo." - The Grammar Police.
"A memo, really?" - The Muse.
"Thanks, your memo came in handy when I ran out of paper in the toilet." - A. Badguy, Society of Villainous Characters.
"We discovered your memo dated May the 17th, 2016, regarding a request for feedback on your debut novel, “A Subtle Agency.” It had unfortunately become trapped behind the “paranormal romance,” filing cabinet. We note that you have another three memos in our backlog. I assure you, they have all have been ticketed, and will be addressed within the next five years in accordance with our service level agreement. Yours cordially." - Mr Bartholomew Peabody, Dept. Misplaced Genres.
What can I say, no more memos.
View all my reviews
On Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HM6NN9G
August 7, 2018
NOW LIVE: FREE BOOKS and an EXCLUSIVE ARC read.
Elaine Howlin at Castle Dracula is graciously hosting a pair of exclusive events from now to whenever....
The main thread is here: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...
IMMEDIATELY: I will be providing free copies of
and from
FREE: All books will be FREE and available in PDF, EPUB, or KINDLE (.mobi) formats EXCLUSIVELY for Castle Dracula members.
Catch up on the series now with the first three books and be ready for the ARC read on October the 1st.
Join us at Castle Dracula for a set of pacey, action-packed thrillers with bad-assed heroes and villainous vampires.
(Note, product does not contain sparkles, and may disappoint seekers of paranormal romance.)
May 14, 2018
The Perfect Celebrity Endorsement
FADE IN, EXT, NIGHT: Outside a dreary Transylvanian castle, clouds scud over a lightening sky, the dawn is claiming the east. A tall figure scales the external walls and leaps through a window. He is clutching a paperback book. Thick curtains are immediately drawn against the approaching sunlight.
INT BEDROOM: The room is lit by candles, Count Dracula, flounces back into an ornate coffin, he holds an open book in front of his face, he is avidly reading ...
[ZOOM IN, CLOSE UP]: Reveal the cover of "A Subtle Agency," by Graeme Rodaughan.
INT BEDROOM [OPEN 4th WALL]: Count Dracula, annoyed at being rudely interrupted, sits up in his coffin, the book held visibly in his left hand, he wags his right finger at the camera.
"Vhat! You disturb my reading!" the Count stares harshly at the camera, then breaks into a toothy grin. "But who can blame you - everyone vants this book. This outrageous story about my ... kind."
Count Dracula taps a page within the book. "Look here. I tell you - vhat is the meaning of this? Vampires with katanas? Vampires with machine guns? Vampires with attack helicopters?"
Count Dracula looks shocked and then grins. "I can't live forever without these books."
[ZOOM IN, CLOSE UP]: The count says, "A Subtle Agency, I have a copy," (lifts book), stares into the camera 'mesmerisingly,' "and so should you my little blood crumpet."
Laughs - evil genius laugh.
FADE OUT.
May 7, 2018
A Doozy of a Night
It was a peaceful evening at home, I was staying up late working on The Day Guard, the 4th book in my series about the Metaframe War. In between writing the usual stuff about Chloe’s quest for her liberty, Anton’s search for justice, and the various machinations of Cornelius, the Red Ghost, and the Raven - my phone rang.
I glanced at it - ‘private number,’ it read. I hate when that happens, you can’t dial back if you ever want to and whoever was calling wasn’t in my contacts list. But still, it was late at night, the cold callers seeking to sell me a new electricity plan, or property investment or something else I had no interest in only called when I was sitting down to dinner - so it wasn’t them.
My curiosity was piqued and I answered the call, putting the phone on speaker because I’ve got that paranoid fear about mobile phone radiation…
A voice with a noticeable French accent and clearly distressed said, “Merde! What have you done?”
He started swearing at me in incomprehensible French, and I’m thinking, Who is this guy? Then he reverted back to English and said in low, precise tones, “Fix it. Don’t imagine I can’t reach you. You’ll be sorry if you don’t sort this out.”
Then he hung up.
Goosebumps rippled along both my arms, the hairs rising in an atavistic response to the threat. A shiver bloomed up my back, and strolled over my scalp like a corpse stalking a graveyard. I didn’t know how but the caller could only be one person - Francis Mirovar.
“What the hell is going on?” I said, staring at my phone, rational disbelief struggling (and losing) with the utter certainty of the voice I’d just heard.
There was a knock on my office door. Trepidation warred with curiosity and I said, “Come in.”
The door swung open; Anton Slayne, Peter Lamb, Li Wu and Chiara Romano, all wearing street casual wear, strolled into my home office. (Making it pretty damn crowded in there, Peter really is one huge, wide unit…) I shook my head, dumbfounded by this weird turn of events.
“What the -” I started to say.
Anton shook his finger at me. “Hold it right there,” he snapped. “Now shut up and listen.”
The air in the room seemed to plunge half a dozen degrees, although I felt clammy, and broke out into a sweat as they surrounded my chair. Li stood opposite Anton and gave me a hard look as Peter’s big hands gripped my shoulders from behind.
“Wha… what do you want?” I stammered.
“Action.” Li said, her eyes gleaming with pent up desire.
“Action! I give you guys heaps of action.”
“Nah, you don’t get it,” Anton snapped. “We mean ‘Action.’”
Peter spun my chair around so I was facing the four of them and growled. “We’re young.”
“We’re good looking,” Anton said, tapping his hard muscled chest.
“We’re hot,” Li said, leaning in - her perfume was electric.
“And very, very sexy,” added Chiara, with a suggestive look on her face that could tempt a monk.
“Hey, hey, hey,” I said, lifting my hands up and shaking my head. “I don’t do Paranormal Romance. No, no, definitely not!”
“Who said there had to be any romance?” Anton asked.
“Yeah,” Peter added. “We’d settle for, you know, ‘two warriors snatching a quick moment of bliss before the next battle.’”
Li tapped me on the chest and suggested, “You could fade to black if you really have too.”
“You’ve been wasting opportunities,” Chiara remarked, tossing her long dark hair from one side to the other.
Anton leaned forward. “So, will you do it?”
They all studied me expectantly, and four separate eyebrows raised quizzically. I turned back to my desk and wrote a quick note.
“So your making a note to add oodles of hot sex?” Peter asked hopefully.
“Nah, I’m making a note that I use a quizzically raised eyebrow far to often.”
“Damn!” Peter swore. “There’s no joy with this one.” And as one, they turned and left the room.
I took a deep breath and sighed, relieved to have got out of that unscathed. I turned back to my keyboard, hopefully there would be no further interruptions.
Someone scratched long fingernails down the outside of my window. The double glazing muffled their words and all I heard was, “Levf mef inphhhh.”
“Huh?” I grunted, nonplussed.
They raised their child-like voice and said clearly, “Let me in.”
Could this evening get any stranger? I got out of my chair and approached the window. Two figures emerged out of the gloom. The closer of the two was a girl dressed in black. Perhaps she was nine years old, or perhaps she was a thousand years old. Her eyes glittered in the moonlight like mirror shards. Behind her loomed a tall, cadaverous manlike creature, wrapped in a heavy dark cloak, his skin was chalk white. His eyes were black windows into hell, staring at me with barely restrained enmity.
The child smiled hungrily, “Let me in.”
“Hell no,” I said. “I’ll have no truck with the likes of you.”
“But you must,” she whispered. Her silent friend leered at me with an unsettling level of confidence.
Feeling the thin edges of compulsion I asked, “Why?”
“We are from the Guild.”
OMG, I thought, I’ve got a labor dispute on my hands.
“The Guild?”
“Yes,” she smirked. “The Guild of Vampire Characters.”
I sighed. “What do you really want?”
The tall one spoke, long fangs ringed his mouth, and the words sounded like they had been fished out of a deep, rank well. “Your vampires are shiny.” He grimaced with distaste, his words freighted with the most awful of insults.
“Your kidding. My vampires are all bad-ass.”
“Shiny,” the girl piped, her eyes hard and filled with dreadful certainty. “You must change them.”
I sighed again, and rubbed my forehead, I was beginning to get a headache.
“What if I don’t?”
She laughed, a tinkling sound of broken bells. “We will withdraw support for your use of vampires. All vampire characters will depart from your stories and never return.”
That’s harsh, I thought and said, “Okay, okay - I’ll sort it.”
“See that you do,” piped the girl. “Or, we will return.”
The tall one, drew a long taloned finger in front of his pale throat and then grinned broadly, displaying his fangs which gleamed in the moonlight. Mist rose around the pair, and they vanished into it.
I sank back into my chair, this night was a doozy. I decided I needed to restore my spirit with a good dose of spirits. I went to my pantry and poured myself a stiff drink. Returning to my desk, I sat down and lifted the tumbler to my lips, a thrill of delicious anticipation gracing my soul.
The night was broken open by a thunderous roar. A bright spotlight speared down from the sky onto my office window. An automatic cannon ripped into life, hellish fire tearing through the room, carving it apart in a cloud of splinters and plaster dust.
A sleek form, clad in a close-fitting black bodysuit fell through the gaping hole in my roof, landing in a fighting crouch next to me. A gleaming katana, a single ruby in the handle glittering in the harsh spotlight flashed in front of me, piercing my keyboard and pinning it to my desk.
Her pale hands gripped my shoulders and she leaned in. I whispered one word, “Chloe.”
She smiled knowingly. “Of course.” She tilted her head slightly and purred, “Did you think I wouldn’t come?”
A fell magnetism gripped me, I couldn’t look away. Her face was exquisite, her presence overwhelming. My tongue was leaden, my voice was robbed from me.
Her hands slipped upward from my shoulders and caressed my head. She leaned in further, her forehead touching mine, her vivid blue eyes staring into my soul.
Mesmerized; my mind folded into a quivering heap.
“What do you want?” I asked in a hoarse whisper.
“You already know,” she whispered. “Silly man - I’m just here to make sure you don’t forget.”
The fingers of her right hand stroked down the side of my face, and onto my chest.
I panted, my lungs suddenly too tight to breathe.
Her hand slid lower and all sorts of electricity went flying everywhere.
Then she was gone, vanished. The Nightfalcon roared overhead, its twin turbines screaming at full power. The spotlight swung away then extinguished with a final flash, silence returning with a sudden vengeance.
I crawled into a corner, turned and hugged my knees, my eyes darting everywhere - I vowed not to write another word until daylight.
That was for sure, sure, sure.
Crazy characters, always wanting something - there was no pleasing them. But it was too late, too late by far. Boundaries had been breached, there was no going back. They’d become too powerful to ignore.
Attaching a new keyboard to my laptop, I ignored my reckless vow and set to work.
It was a doozy of a night.
March 17, 2018
Kill Anton Slayne!
Cornelius Crane video calls Chloe Armitage... a brief discussion ensues.
Crane's eyes narrowed. “Your next mission is to find and kill Anton Slayne, that is your only mission now.”
“Excuse me, Sir, don’t you mean Arthur Slayne?” Chloe asked, momentarily nonplussed.
“No. I mean Anton Slayne, his grandson.”
“Yes, Sir. I presume this is the same person known as Anton Smith in the Panopticon, who is with the Mirovar force team - is that correct?”
“Yes. Why didn’t you know about Anton Slayne?”
“He wasn’t there when I went to the house in Boston. Marcus and I broke in and waited for William and Anna Slayne to return from a Boston University faculty dinner.”
“You should have known they had a son. The Panopticon has been compromised, the data for Anton Smith is fake.”
“Compromised? By whom?”
“Good question, it remains to be seen.” Crane stared at her. “When I find out, my punishment of the culprit will know no bounds.”
Chloe blinked, “Sir?”
“You have your orders, I expect results.”
“Yes, Sir.”
Crane closed the call.
Chloe said, "[INSERT CLUSTER F-BOMB]."
February 16, 2018
If Stoker's Dracula was being cast for a big budget movie?
A classy director has been chosen, someone ... such as ... I don't know - ahhh ... Joss Whedon.
Who amongst the many actors available today would you cast as.
Dracula
Lucy Westenra
Mina Murray
Jonathan Harker
Dr. Seward
Quincy P. Morris
Arthur Holmwood
R.M. Renfield
Dr. Van Helsing
Mrs. Westenra
Dead Sea Captain.
The three brides.
Here's my cast and rationale.
Dracula (Has to portray both an older and a younger man. Driven, powerful, ambitious, ruthless, seductive and resilient) - Benedict Cumberbatch, has proven his capabilities with a range of roles, and is the right age to portray an older or a younger (rejuvenated) man.
Lucy Westenra (Vivacious, fun, filled with life, the center of attention - who draws a fatal suitor). - Emma Watson - Hermione has graduated as a confident young woman.
Mina Murray (Brains, beauty, charisma, more serious than Lucy - Dracula's foil). - Emilia Clarke has demonstrated a commanding range of emotion, and she can do both horror and seduction, necessary for this role. Believable as an intelligent woman after her role in GoT
Jonathan Harker (Major character, has to be charismatic enough to carry the first quarter of the movie). - Kit Harington, remembering that J Harker is a lawyer, not a mountain man. Kit Harington can bring the right qualities to the role and is believable as a genuine love match for a sharp, capable woman.
Dr. Seward. (Get's a lot of page time and is a major character. Mature without being old). - Clive Owen, brings maturity to this important role.
Quincy P. Morris. (I like the idea of modernising this role with an african american actor). - Chiwetel Ejiofor, no longer '12 years a slave' he brings a genuine physical presence to the resident bad-ass in the Van Helsing vampire hunting club, and what young, wealthy English heiress wouldn't want the charismatic Chiwetel Ejiofor as a suitor.
Arthur Holmwood (betrothed to the doomed Lucy - need a good chemistry here as their final scenes are very emotional). - David Tennant - another capable british actor to carry this important role vis-a-vis the younger Lucy.
R.M. Renfield (Strangely enough, Renfield is one of the more dimensional characters, he requires a physical presence as he is quite strong, very emotional and driven to all manner of extremes - including at the end - self sacrifice). - Tom Hardy, fresh of playing Mad Max in 'Fury Road' he brings the necessary physicality and mental gravitas to this role.
Dr. Van Helsing (An older man, who is still vital, supposedly wise, but takes too long to reach the correct conclusions). - Hugh Jackman (in a strange co-incidence) can do this role standing on his head, and will carry it off with a commanding charisma, if slightly daft at times.
Mrs. Westenra (Lucy's mother who is infirm, relatively old (50+) with a weak heart). - Eva Green. A small, almost cameo role, do her up with enough makeup to carry it off.
Dead Sea Captain (recounts the events on the Demeter and dies on board - needs to be able to convey courage in the face of impending doom) - Geoffrey Rush. Fairly long in the tooth, but not as long as Vlad, he can tell a story of inevitable doom better than anyone else. Plus he has experience as a pirate captain - what could be better than that.
The three brides. (Seductive in the extreme. A showcase of the power to mesmerise with desire). - Sticking with my first picks.
The Blond Bride: Margot Robbie - Carries the main lines and shows the most initiative amongst the brides, leads the attempted seduction of Jonathan Harker.
Brunette Bride #1: Cara Delevingne - More ethereal than Margot, comes across as both sexy and ghostly.
Brunette Bride #2: Antje Traue - after a stint as a native of Krypton in the 'Man of Steel' makes an excellent brunette scene stealer.
January 23, 2018
Writing the best books I can
I'm consolidating book #5 (The Panopticon) and book #6 (The Crane War) into a single volume. They both work better as a combined book.
Both books are action fests (like the Dragon's Den) leading directly on from the dramatic finale of book #4, The Day Guard. There is a major turning point at the end of book #5, The Panopticon, but it is not as strong and dramatic as the ending of book #6, The Crane War, plus the action is a straight segue from The Panopticon to The Crane War.
As a combined book, I can deliver an extended action fest with a very dramatic finale that completes PART 2 of the Metaframe War series and leads directly into PART 3 of the series.
And the rationale for consolidation - it's a better book, than either of the books would be alone. My number one goal is to write the best book I can with every book I write.
The challenges will be, it's the longest book I've written, and I need to write it fast to maintain publishing tempo.
I accept that challenge.
Updated PLAN:
Book #4: The Day Guard: Publish November 2018.
Book #5: The Crane War: Publish December 2019.
January 14, 2018
Writing Plans - 2018
I thought I would pen a few notes regarding my writing plans for 2018.
First a look back. With the publishing of The Dragon's Den, the first part of the Metaframe War series is complete, the second part begins with The Day Guard and continues with books five and six, Mission Panopticon, and The Crane War respectively.
January 2018:
[1.a.] Complete a detailed design review for The Day Guard which will include (i) a check/revise of all my current scene descriptions. (ii) Check on sequencing of scenes, scene size, who the POV character is, date, time and location.
Noting that scene designs look like (from ch 1 A Subtle Agency)
Scene 3, So Many Secrets: (21:15, April 28th, Boston) William (viewpoint) Slayne and his wife Anna come home from the faculty dinner. They anticipate a nightcap before bed, they expect that Anton is still studying for the spring semester exams. They are proud of their son. They come from the garage into the house and walk into the lounge room where Anton is tied and bound to a chair. They are ambushed and captured alive by Chloe & Marcus.
Scene 4, The Catch of the Night: (21:20, April 28th, Boston) Chloe (viewpoint) and Marcus tie all three of the Slaynes to chairs in the lounge room with plastic ties or chains. Chloe waves smelling salts under Anton’s nose and he wakes up to the horror of the capture his family. Chloe takes several photos of Anton on her phone. Chloe opens Marcus’s briefcase and draws from it parts of a sword that she snaps together. She flourishes the sword and begins the interrogation.
Scene 5, The Papyrus of Hakron the Scribe: (21:25, April 28th, Boston) Anton (viewpoint) watches with growing horror as Chloe threatens them all with torture, death or imprisonment as a vampire. William appears to weaken and gives Chloe the location and lock combination of a secret wall safe. Chloe opens the safe, and withdraws an ancient Egyptian papyrus. She quickly realizes that it is fake, and orders Marcus to break Anna’s leg as punishment. .......
[1.b] As part of the design review I will weave in a new thread dealing with several important secrets held by Cornelius Crane, who calls in an ancient debt of honor to strengthen his hand.
[1.c] Add and adjust other material impacted by the events in The Dragon's Den.
That will have two weeks, starting from today.
February 2018:
[2] Complete the detailed design of book #5, Mission Panopticon. This means adding all the scene definitions. Currently Mission Panopticon exists in preliminary design form with chapter definitions and value shifts (+ve/-ve) defined for each chapter.
Noting that chapter designs look like (from A Subtle Agency)
Book 1, First Act starts Very High -ve (Inciting Incident) ends +ve.
PRINCIPLES:-
Chloe’s war against Crane remains secret.
The identity of the Raven remains secret.
CHAPTER 1. When Nightmares Come True. (INCITING INCIDENT)
Friday 28th April 2017.
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Value Change: Starts +ve (Anton is Safe, and the world is sane, and confidently understood, ignorance is bliss.) - followed by a deep spiral into the negative, as his parents are murdered/Abducted/Imprisoned by Chloe Armitage and Marcus Drake on the orders of Cornelius Crane - however, Chloe has a secret agenda of her own.
Thursday April 27th 2017: Last Day of classes for the Spring Semester.
Friday April 28th 2017: Evening of the Faculty Dinner that Anna and William Slayne attend at Boston University. They are both professionals in the Archeology Department. Sunset is at 19:41. (7:41 pm). Anton is expecting his parents back around the 9 to 9:30 mark.
Chloe & Marcus are free to move around outside after 7:41 pm. They show up at his door at 20:30 (8:30 pm).
Anton is a 1st Year student (Freshman) at Boston University taking a double degree program in Archeology, & Languages (Ancient Greek, Latin, Aramaic & Sanskrit - Indo European), with a minor in Mathematics. He is on the BU Hockey and Basketball teams. 6’1” tall, highly athletic, 18 yo, going on 19. Born April 26 nnnn, he has just turned 18.
All action occurs over a single night.
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CHAPTER 2. Refuge from the Street
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Value Change: Starts -ve, Anton is alone and devastated by the horrific deaths of his parents. The world has become strange and alien, he is alone and frightened. Moves +ve, as Anton finds a home and a good friend in Gang Wu.
Begins Saturday April 29th 2017:
All action occurs over 5 days.
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CHAPTER 3. Two Discoveries
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Value Change: Starts +ve, as Anton finds a home and a good friend in Gang Wu. Moves -ve, as Anton, Gang and Li are discovered by James Haley. Chloe cements her alliance with Dalien Morte and she reads and memorizes the CODEX.
Begins Friday Night. 23:00, May 5th
All action occurs over a month.
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The task in February is to flesh out the eleven chapters composing the Mission Panopticon book.
March 2018 -> October 2018 inclusive:
[3] Give myself 8 months to write and polish The Day Guard. This will allow the following.
[3.1] An ARC read on goodreads for The Day Guard in November 2018.
[3.2] Publish The Day Guard on the 30th November 2018.
Looking further ahead.
December 2018, January 2019 - Complete detailed design of Book #6, The Crane War.
February 2019 - September 2019 - Write Book #5 Mission Panopticon.
October 2019 - ARC Read and Publish Book #5 Mission Panopticon.
The bottom line, I should be able to write and publish the next two books in a little less than two years.
Writing The Metaframe War Series
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