Diamond Mike Watson's Blog, page 2
November 18, 2021
Pal was a good dog
Pal was a good dog
His house was small.
Dad sad he was warm at night.
Pal had a chain on his neck.
The chain came off.
Pal ran in the street and got hit by a car.
Pal was a good dog.
Photo- 1963.
November 15, 2021
To Adoptees: Enjoy the Ride of your Journey
At seventeen dad gave me his old car. I was free to go anywhere. While friends planned parties, I planned my first trip to Indianapolis to search for the woman who gave birth to me. I would later find her, although deceased, nearly twenty years later.
I met uncles, aunts, cousins, a grandmother and even two brothers and a sister who shared my bloodline.
Twenty five years later I found another sister who had ‘vanished’ before she was one-year old.
And finally I found my father, who was also deceased. Behold, my father was a Syrian Jew from Aleppo. My forefathers came from a long line of rabbis. My great great grandfather was the beloved Rabbi Mordechai Abadi.
I would never ask for a different outcome in my life’s journey. Being an adoptee who was loved has given my life such deep meaning.
October 11, 2021
Thirty Years and a Tiny Dream
Thirty years ago my wife, Carmen, and I opened a small jewelry boutique that was half the size of our tiny one-room apartment. We started slow. It was all we could afford.
After a few newspaper ads, customers trickled inside. Looking back, it is amazing the amount of jewelry one could buy for only a few hundred dollars. Times have changed, and what was once $200 may now be $1,000. But then again, I remember a gallon of milk was once 35 cents.
Thirty years is a wonderful milestone to appreciate the path of one’s journey. Our little store transformed into a building. The first customer surpassed the 50,000th. And the selection of jewelry changed from a handful of gold chains and diamonds into anything the mind could imagine.
And life doesn’t include just selling jewelry. Sometimes we are called for other quests. During these years I managed to find my birthmother, my birthfather, and so many living relatives that it would be impossible to capture them in a single photograph.
When it rains, it pours.
Carmen and my staff have witnessed many miracles including the writing contest for kids called, Why Mom Deserves A Diamond. This tradition has already touched the lives of millions of people. What began as a humble tribute to my two mothers is now in honor of all those who are significant in our lives.
Thirty years ago I dreamed of owning thirty stores. Now I realize that was such a tiny dream, for life has given us so much more.
October 5, 2021
Mourning
Do not make yourself look haggardly or unkempt when you grieve. You do not need to show the world you are grieving. If you hold joyful memories in your heart, and know that you contributed more happiness than sorrow to your loved one, you must not frown, but be joyful. If there is consciousness beyond the grave, your loved one will receive more benefit from your smile, not your tears.
One must try to look beyond the suffering of the moment. Life is like a wave that forever transforms. There is love beyond death and mourning. One needs to remain joyful to shine a light for those that are living, rather than shroud them with a dark cloak.
A state of constant agony is not helpful to anyone, including the mourner or relatives of the mourner. One must understand that death is not the end, but the beginning of a new chapter that the living can learn from.
Since ancient times, some Jewish teachings included tearing at one’s clothing, sitting on low seats or on the ground, and avoiding pleasures during mourning. Most of these gestures were acknowledged during Shiva, which is following the seven days after burial. In explaining Jewish halacha (Jewish law), my grandfather Rabbi Matloub Abadi gave much thought to this topic of a man’s mourning. He explained to his disciples that one did not, according to the customs of the time, have to mourn for a specified time or for a man to avoid shaving his facial hair. (There is an incredible audio recording of this interchange in Hebrew that still exists: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOkJi311D9U.)
From paintings to figurines, the Buddha has been characterized with a trademark smile. In a world that contains pain and loss, some have felt a smile may show disregard to life’s tragedies. But it was awareness of pain and suffering itself that the Buddha learned to transform into bliss.
In Islam, although grief and weepings at the death of a beloved person is normal, what is prohibited is to grieve by wailing, tearing hair or clothes, or breaking items. Some say the deceased may feel pain by these actions. https://en.islamway.net/article/47591/mourning-the-dead
In the case of losing a loved one, it is important for the mourner to understand that the loved one has passed down one of the greatest gifts- an eternal memory. Even today, as warm thoughts of my adoptive mother spring into my head I catch myself smiling.
To be clear to the reader, we must understand that sorrow is a human emotion. We hurt. We cry. When I lost my adoptive mother my eyes were so filled with tears that I wasn’t able to see. Pain and suffering is what defines our humanness and separates us from other life forms.
My point is we each grieve differently. We should not measure ourselves by the intensity of our mourning, the length of our mourning, or by any outward showing of our mourning. One should walk upright, observe their hygiene, and be aware that death is only a companion to life itself.
It is okay to embrace a time for individuals to contemplate their loss and console one another. However, If one has been gifted with enriching memories from someone who has passed away, try not to prolong your sadness with a yearning of the impossible quest of reversing the past. Be at peace with yourself, the present moment, and be a shining light for the living.
———
October 1, 2021
My Ring is Turning My Finger Black
The problem of the black finger has always been a mystery. Even though a ring can be 14K gold or higher alloy, a person’s finger can suddenly turn black. Usually this can last from a day to many weeks but the problem usually goes away. Unless the ring was created with a high percentage of nickel alloy, the ring itself is not the problem. I will list many possibilities and solutions.
Metallic abrasion. (Gold smudge.) The most common reason why skin discolors when wearing gold jewelry is metallic abrasion. The blackness is caused by the ring rubbing on makeup left on the hands. On the Moh’s scale of hardness, gold is about a 3. Many makeup powders contain compounds like calamine. These powders are actually small particles of rock which abrade small specks of gold which attach to the skin resulting in a dark appearance. Finely divided metal is not shiny but appears as black dust. When this dust comes into contact with skin, it sticks creating a black smudge. One can consider switching cosmetics or to wash hands thoroughly with soap and water after applying makeup before putting on jewelry.
The following situations can interact with or change a person’s body chemistry:
High acid food and drink. Eating foods or drinks that are high in acid like; tomatoes, pickles, coffee, wine, fruit juices, oranges, etc.
Iron deficiency. Take your gold ring and draw an invisible line down the inside of your arm. If the ring leaves a grayish black trail (called black dermographism) that may mean one has an iron deficiency.
High sodium. If one has eaten a higher-than-normal amount of salt, like salted popcorn, potato chips, etc.
Prescription drugs. Certain medications like anti-depressants, some antibiotics or even multivitamins.
Cleaning products and chemicals. Direct contact with bleach, ammonia, chlorine, etc., can cause a chemical reaction to gold jewelry.
Menopause. Woman in menopause can experience body chemistry and hormonal changes that make oxidation more possible while their body is adjusting.
MY RING IS TURNING MY FINGER BLACK
The problem of the black finger has always been a mystery. Even though a ring can be 14K gold or higher alloy, a person’s finger can suddenly turn black. Usually this can last from a day to many weeks but the problem usually goes away. Every jeweler has their own answer to this mystery and its solutions. Unless the ring was created with a high percentage of nickel alloy, the ring itself is not the problem. I will try to list all the possibilities and solutions.
Metallic abrasion. (Gold smudge.) The most common reason why skin discolors when wearing gold jewelry is metallic abrasion. The blackness is caused by the ring rubbing on makeup left on the hands. On the Moh’s scale of hardness, gold is about a 3. Many makeup powders contain compounds like calamine. These powders are actually small particles of rock which abrade small specks of gold which attach to the skin resulting in a dark appearance. Finely divided metal is not shiny but appears as black dust. When this dust comes into contact with skin, it sticks creating a black smudge. One can consider switching cosmetics or to wash hands thoroughly with soap and water after applying makeup before putting on jewelry.
The following situations can interact with or change a person’s body chemistry:
High acid food and drink. Eating foods or drinks that are high in acid like; tomatoes, pickles, coffee, wine, fruit juices, oranges, etc.
Iron deficiency. Take your gold ring and draw an invisible line down the inside of your arm. If the ring leaves a grayish black trail (called black dermographism) that may mean one has an iron deficiency.
High sodium. If one has eaten a higher-than-normal amount of salt, like salted popcorn, potato chips, etc.
Prescription drugs. Certain medications like anti-depressants, some antibiotics or even multivitamins.
Cleaning products and chemicals. Direct contact with bleach, ammonia, chlorine, etc., can cause a chemical reaction to gold jewelry.
Menopause. Woman in menopause can experience body chemistry and hormonal changes that make oxidation more possible while their body is adjusting.
September 23, 2021
The Secrets of the Universe
As a young adoptee I had one simple quest: to find my birthmother.
Twenty years later I found her, but she had already died. I did, however, joyously find loving aunts, uncles, two brothers, a sister, and even an 87-year-old grandmother!
When it rains, it pours.
My mission was successful, but a new quest began: I was told I had another sister who mysteriously vanished before she was one-year old. I wondered why no one chose to look for her.
Almost 25 years later I found her. She is alive and well. She is beautiful. As a bonus, I also found more nephews, nieces, cousins, and so many accepting relatives that it is difficult to contain them in a single photograph.
With the miracle of DNA and a crew of genealogical geniuses, I also found a Syrian Jewish brother on my birthfather’s side. My biological puzzle was larger than anyone could imagine.
My cup runneth over.
In the last century, it appears my grandfather Rabbi Matloub Abadi was the most renown and beloved rabbi in the Syrian Jewish world.
Yet, I am still an adoptee. I am still that little boy that was chosen by a loving woman and man that I called mom and dad. I am still that only child that will eternally search for life’s mysteries.
Tonight I am seeking a book written by my grandfather, called Magen Ba’adi. He wrote it in Hebrew. I know it will contain the wisdom of every rabbi born. I will clutch it tightly in my arms.
But after I find this book what will I seek next? I may never be satisfied until I know all the secrets of the universe.
When I discover these secrets, I promise I will share them here with you.
September 19, 2021
I Never Asked to be Born
I never asked to be born. But I’m glad I was.
I never met my birthmother or father. But I’m glad they met one another. That’s why I can type this. Whew!
Their acquaintance was probably anonymous and brief. Sometimes humans need something from another at particular moments in their lives. Sometimes it’s a need to be loved, or validated, or justified. I think all of us have felt this way at some point in our lives.
And I am glad to have lived the life of an adoptee who spent my entire life searching for origins. Perhaps it is because of this I understand more fully the importance of biological origins and how I arrived on planet Earth.
I have a photo of my birthmother. I have a photo of her tombstone.
I have a photo of my birthfather. I have a photo of his tombstone.
This is far more than millions of adoptees could ever hope for. I am one of the lucky ones.
Today my Syrian Jewish brother commemorated our father’s death by placing a customary stone on his grave. He said he placed one stone in my name also. He also said he showed our father my picture so he would know what I looked like.
I am now a part of a bigger and more profound lesson unfolding before my eyes. As I learn this lesson I promise to teach it to you.
—-
My grandfather was Rabbi Matloub Abadi. Born 1889 in Halab (Aleppo), Syria. Died 1970. To this day, his sefarim and personal writings are kept safely in a special “Rabbi Matloub Abadi Library” in Shaare Zion. I am asking for anyone’s help to obtain an English copy of his scholarly book, Magen Ba’adi, in any form that I can read.
Thank you.
August 16, 2021
Would I Be the Same Person?
Although I loved my adoptive parents, I always wondered how I originated on earth. Mom and Dad we’re both fair skinned. Dad was tall and slim. I was olive complected with thick, dark, curly hair. Dad’s nose was long. Mine was wide. The Holy Bible always rested in the living room.
Through the miracle of DNA and the help from miracle searchers, I found both of my birth parents at age 61. My birthmother was a gentile from Indiana. My birthfather was a Sephardic Jew born in Aleppo, Syria. They both died before I met them.
I am thankful for my adventure of an adoptee who spent my entire life searching for roots. But I often wonder who would I be, where would I live, and what holy book would I read if I were not adopted?
Would I be the same person?
