Pamela Schloesser Canepa's Blog, page 88

“Dreams” In honor of NAPOWRIMO

“Dreams” 

Free Verse by Pamela Schloesser Canepa

copyright 2005

At twilight

Dreams sit at the edge of our consciousness

Delighting, or disturbing us

 Watching like a mindreader,

      coaxing us

     To

     Stay

    Where  they are….

And to fall back into them when our slight awareness stirs.

 Then, they dart away like a cat-eyed burglar in black who can never be caught…at the crack of dawn with the alarm’s annoying alert to the living.

     When most of us wake up and leave them behind…

    (But some of them can be caught)……

co. 2005, Pamela Schloesser Canepa

 

In Pursuit of the Sun

I’ve decided to add a new item to my bucket list.  Since I’m close to my late forties, now is the time.  I can think about retirement, I can dream.  And I’m certainly too young to think about being done with my bucket list!  Maybe this is an impossible dream, but I feel that is at the root of optimism, always dreaming one more dream.  There is always room for one more dream!  We are in an infinite universe; why not dream infinitely (by which, I mean, without bounds)?

A dream is one thing I can hold close to my heart.  But I am so excited, I want to share it!  I want to one day retire and be a sun chaser!  Evidently, since I did look up the term, sun chaser already signifies many things, such as a yacht, an awning, a movie about an escaped fugitive, etc.  So I seem to be giving new meaning to the word.  I literally want to CHASE the sun.  Yet, I’m not a runner.  Okay, CHASE may be an exaggeration.  And I’m honestly not running away from anything.  We also shouldn’t confuse this with being a sun worshiper.  I am not so much about the tan anymore; I love witnessing the sunrise and all that it represents.  It’s almost second nature to whisper a “Thank you,” when I do.

Let’s put this in more specific terms for my bucket list:  I want to witness the sun rise in at least fifty different cities.  I think it’s plausible!   I could even start on it now!

All of this came about because I am on Spring Break.  I’ve been dropping my sun off at work, and finding myself with time in which I could go home and sleep again, or do something different, like stop and witness the sun rise, walk the dog as the sun is rising, or simply gaze at the sky.  It is a beauty, and sometimes there is no time to realize it until you can get off the merry-go-round for a while.  I took a long walk with the dog the other day, documenting with my camera just which house the sun peeps up behind, and today, I stopped on the side of the road on the way back from dropping off my son at work.  The sky was full of jet contrails.  I documented with my camera just how different the sky looked.  I was not happy about it, but the sun rise was still beautiful.  Guess what?  I feel  like I did an important thing, just noticing how the sky looked.

This got me to thinking, on a positive note, how different the sun would look in different cities, and what  a pleasure it is to view it from different perspectives (i.e., different cities).  There are many other things on my bucket list, such as, going to Rome and seeing the Vatican along with much of the art of the Renaissance.  But this bucket list goal really has me inspired and motivated.  A miracle is happening every 24 hours and I want to see more of it!  My  goal will include getting to another city (how doesn’t matter; it could be an old camper for all I care), being awake to witness the sunrise from that viewpoint, maybe documenting by camera, resting, eating, living, traveling to the next city of choice and being ready for the next sun rise.  I could even just do this once a week for a year if I start now!  There are many possibilities for carrying this out!  How many people travel to a city and never see its sunrise?  I’ll tell you, sunrise in Las Vegas is quite a sight in that flashy city amidst the hills and desert.  Breath-taking.   What an honor it is to be awake at that hour with nothing better to do than to take in this beauty.  Lent is almost over.  Easter will soon be here.  What a perfect time of year to celebrate Jesus’ resurrection.  The sun rises again every morning.  And there is certainly at least one Bible verse that verbalizes the beauty of nature.  This one touched my heart:

Psalm 19:1

“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.”

From  http://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/bible-verses-about-nature/

Indeed, they do!

 

Heroes for a Modern Girl

Heroes for a Modern Girl

by Pamela Schloesser Canepa

The poet Maya Angelou

shared wise words that moved me so.

Songbird Nina Simone

Did not fear walking alone.

Nikki Giovanni

Laid the truth on me.

Mom bravely raised me alone,

in the warmest, loving home.

Simone deBouvaire taught me

women are not property.

Toni Morrison’s Pilate

was free like a wild lilac.

And I thank them all

for helping me stand tall.

Men’s rules, commandments, and laws

once confined us, we felt lost.

But there was no stopping

rebels like Janis Joplin.

I benefit from their stand,

and I’m fed by my own hand.

I thank them all

For helping me stand tall.

How Much Do We Need Community?

“No man is an island, entire of itself…”  – John Donne.

This quote has stayed with me for over twenty five years.  I have used it,  in conversations, in my classroom.  I have felt it, when I was in my third year of college, after transferring to a university from community college.  Classes were huge, and I felt very alone.  Over the years, I learned the value of forming friendships for many different reasons, to handle difficult situations at work, to enjoy life a little more, to have someone to talk to, or to share a value with others (such as charity, faith, volunteerism, recovery).  People go to many types of places to feel a part of a community:  hobby/enthusiast groups, church, bars.  That’s quite a variety of places, but a lot of it starts because we need someone to talk to.  Some of us are fortunate enough for it to happen in the workplace.  It sure makes working a lot more fun.  Some are not that fortunate, and have to seek other places like the aforementioned.  I imagine, in early civilization, hunter/gatherers survived cold weather and wild animals better if they banded together to survive.  Farmers usually rely on a community to get their work done.  They have to get along to get things done together.  I look at these huge farms in the Midwest and I know just one man could have never gotten all that done.  Community seems, to me, to be a key to survival for mankind.

The Christian Bible preaches the value of community.  I made a promise to myself to use or read the Bible more often during Lent this year.  It’s not too much of a cheat if I found this online by a subject search, is it?  From http://dailyverses.net/community : “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.” 1 John 1:7 | NIV

Since the Dark Ages, even earlier, people have gathered together to appreciate art, music, and Literature to enrich their lives and minds.  I am seeing that as one way we “walk in the light.”  We still gather to do these things.  Sometimes we just enjoy them in a solitary way.  I don’t mean to contradict myself here….

Or, take this Bible verse about supporting each other, maybe even inspiring one another to be better people:
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,  not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”  Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV)

But yet, there is plenty of fuel to fire the opposing argument, that the lone wolf is that way because he chooses to be, because he is totally independent.  In a current, popular song, that I just heard for the first time today while switching stations, by G-Easy, the lyrics go like this: “It’s just me, myself, and I/ Solo right until I die/ Because I’ve…got me for life.”  I at first thought the song might be a little narcissistic, then I watched the video (uncut lyrics).  It depicts a star who really struggles with himself and the fame that has come to him, perhaps realizing his large number of false friends.  Perhaps that just comes with fame and riches.  I may never have that problem.  I’ll admit the lyrics are catchy.  I was drawn to them after hearing Jonny Cash’s rendition of Empire of Dirt.  Similar themes, but quite a switch!

And then there was an article shared by a Facebook friend today as well, titled “Why Millions of Men Lose Friends in their 20s,” available at http://www.vice.com/read/why-men-lose-friends-in-their-20s?utm_source=vicefbus which totally touches upon the subject as perhaps not always being  a choice, or sometimes being a regrettable one.  “As we get older….we might start to wonder whether there’s a reason most wolves hunt in packs.”  As if most men interviewed by the writer seemed to acknowledge that life would be easier if they had a “pack.” By the way, the falling away of friendships in your 20s happens just as much to women.  But it was good to read from this perspective, since I get concerned about my son in his young adulthood and his lack of community or even any concern for being part of a community.

Of course, modern technology makes it easier to do everything from the confines of our home, even conversing with others (through our acronyms, LOL). Thereby, it decreases active participation in a community.The quality of conversation has really declined, BTW. [image error] On an average day for many, our survival involves sitting in our cubicle, pecking away at a computer under artificial light.  Hmmm…I am getting an image from  the movie Fight Club!   Ed Norton or Brad Pitt with a shiner, what a way to fight the artificially lighted cubicle!  The word “club” stands out here in my mind, almost as much as Brad’s shiner. We were all so much thicker skinned in the past, but we did it through community, and teamwork.  That was a key to our survival as a species.  It is even helpful today.  Without it, there may be many lone wolves, but I doubt their descendants will go too far.

I’ll put this in my own personal terms.  Sometimes I need something to do that I know will benefit someone else; that gets me away from selfish concerns or worries.  Or I need to talk to someone about anything that will get me out of my head or my worries (that sometimes can chase themselves like a dog chasing its tail).  I know community is a key to survival.  I also love my lone wolves, especially since my son is one of them, and I know he needs love and acceptance, even when he accepts it so tentatively.  I think they have an important place in our community, if for no other reason than to fix things, build things, produce art, Literature, or music to make us think or help us escape. Then there are also those who think up the theoretical ideas, yet can’t talk in a social setting.  They are still invaluable.  Perhaps the lone wolf is, at times, an inspiration to the broken-hearted or newly single?   I just hope they realize they mean something to the rest of us.  Yet, I see that I have to accept anyone’s choice to be outside of community.  But if we are truly a loving community that will survive together, we should be checking up on our lone wolves, and embracing those Emily Dickensens and Van Goghs, long before they’ve left us with nothing but their art.