Jennifer Arntson's Blog
May 30, 2017
And They're Off!
I spent days researching bloggers and book reviewers to send my debut novel to. I compiled an impressive spreadsheet of some 200 names, email addresses, preferred genres and submission requirements. If my high school keyboarding teacher hadn’t already retired, I might have sent it to her to prove I didn’t deserve that C- she gave me my Junior year.
I was off to email the letter of introduction I’d perfected to pitch my novel, Scavenger Girl - Season of Atchem, to the list of waiting reviewers. As all authors know, reviewers just keep hitting the refresh button waiting for the next great literary work to be zapped into their inboxes, right?
I sat down, copied my well-edited document into email after email, making sure to personalize each one with the reviewer’s name, addressing their individual interests, and whenever possible, adding a little antodocital humor based on their blog’s ‘about me’ section.
Yes, I was whitty. More importantly I was prepared.
I sat on the emotional parade float waving at all the fans sitting on the curb of the digital road that is my pre-launch campaign. For once, I was the Queen, and I felt the regency of my appointment.
Then I remembered who I really am, and although I may have been made royalty in the morning, I was stripped of my title by noon, right around the time preschool ended.
You see, I’ve got a four-year-old son who suddenly needed a grilled sandwich. And milk. Then a towel to clean up said milk. “Mom, can I watch a movie?” Fine, I’ll give you Paw Patrol, Doc McStuffins, heck I’ll put on Poltergeist if that’s what it takes to keep you occupied!
Wait...what? You need to wipe your butt? Ergh, just let me just send this one email…
*Click*
Wait. Oh, God. No! Did I just send that?
How do I get it back! (Here’s where I bang on the keyboard desperately trying to slow down my high-speed internet while my son walks like a penguin towards me at the kitchen table holding one end of the toilet paper in is tiny hand.)
Here are the only two questions that mattered in that moment: Did my little boy hear all those whispered curse words I mumbled when I realized I credited the blogger with someone else's blog. Will the creator of Blog A pay any attention to the fact I told them Blog B was the best blog I’ve ever visited? Naw, they won’t notice that I sent the wrong version of the letter, right?
(My face hits the keyboard like that frustrated piano player on Sesame Street.) Suddenly, I realize I’ve sent a second email to that same reviewer. Now I just look drunk. Or like I speak Icelandic.
Iceland sounds like a good place to move.
I should do that. Now.
“Mom?” My son offers me the end of his toilet paper, still connected to the roll 20-feet away in the bathroom.
Before I pack my bags, I should probably clean my son’s bum and pick up the streamers, aka toilet paper, left over from my imaginary parade.
___________________________________________
Jennifer Arntson is a hopeful Bestseller, professional friend maker, wife, mom, and sworn enemy of Caillou. When she’s not writing, she’s reading about writing, and if she ever gets one of her hands free, she uses it to grab a glass of wine.
Follow her on one of the gazillion social media platforms because the best friends are the ones that don’t require phone calls or birthday cards.
http://www.ScavengerGirl.com
http://www.facebook.com/scavengergirl
I was off to email the letter of introduction I’d perfected to pitch my novel, Scavenger Girl - Season of Atchem, to the list of waiting reviewers. As all authors know, reviewers just keep hitting the refresh button waiting for the next great literary work to be zapped into their inboxes, right?
I sat down, copied my well-edited document into email after email, making sure to personalize each one with the reviewer’s name, addressing their individual interests, and whenever possible, adding a little antodocital humor based on their blog’s ‘about me’ section.
Yes, I was whitty. More importantly I was prepared.
I sat on the emotional parade float waving at all the fans sitting on the curb of the digital road that is my pre-launch campaign. For once, I was the Queen, and I felt the regency of my appointment.
Then I remembered who I really am, and although I may have been made royalty in the morning, I was stripped of my title by noon, right around the time preschool ended.
You see, I’ve got a four-year-old son who suddenly needed a grilled sandwich. And milk. Then a towel to clean up said milk. “Mom, can I watch a movie?” Fine, I’ll give you Paw Patrol, Doc McStuffins, heck I’ll put on Poltergeist if that’s what it takes to keep you occupied!
Wait...what? You need to wipe your butt? Ergh, just let me just send this one email…
*Click*
Wait. Oh, God. No! Did I just send that?
How do I get it back! (Here’s where I bang on the keyboard desperately trying to slow down my high-speed internet while my son walks like a penguin towards me at the kitchen table holding one end of the toilet paper in is tiny hand.)
Here are the only two questions that mattered in that moment: Did my little boy hear all those whispered curse words I mumbled when I realized I credited the blogger with someone else's blog. Will the creator of Blog A pay any attention to the fact I told them Blog B was the best blog I’ve ever visited? Naw, they won’t notice that I sent the wrong version of the letter, right?
(My face hits the keyboard like that frustrated piano player on Sesame Street.) Suddenly, I realize I’ve sent a second email to that same reviewer. Now I just look drunk. Or like I speak Icelandic.
Iceland sounds like a good place to move.
I should do that. Now.
“Mom?” My son offers me the end of his toilet paper, still connected to the roll 20-feet away in the bathroom.
Before I pack my bags, I should probably clean my son’s bum and pick up the streamers, aka toilet paper, left over from my imaginary parade.
___________________________________________
Jennifer Arntson is a hopeful Bestseller, professional friend maker, wife, mom, and sworn enemy of Caillou. When she’s not writing, she’s reading about writing, and if she ever gets one of her hands free, she uses it to grab a glass of wine.
Follow her on one of the gazillion social media platforms because the best friends are the ones that don’t require phone calls or birthday cards.
http://www.ScavengerGirl.com
http://www.facebook.com/scavengergirl
May 29, 2017
What If I Don't Wanna Write A Blog?
Ok. I know that’s a strange title, given what I’m doing, but let me explain. You see, I’m an unpublished author with a series of books in various stages of editing and am looking at the ‘end goal’ of publishing. To be honest, I knew I wanted to publish when my manuscript was only a few chapters long.
Being the researcher I am, I did like all excited writers do, and I got online to see what to do next. Back then, I expected publishing to be an easy process; I mean, writing is the hard part, right?
Wrong.
I’m in the third year of development, have all five manuscripts done, and have decided that writing was the easy part! Come to find out, there is no fast-track to getting a quality finished product. It seems as if there are a gazillion opinions out there about what should be done, and what should be avoided when pursuing publishing. Some of the resources are free, others are not, and both camps make some pretty outlandish promises.
While I’ve never had work published, don’t have years of education in literature, or know the proper use of the Oxford Comma (just ask my editor), what I do have is a great book and the passion to give it all I’ve got.
Most of what I’ve researched encourages writers to get started this way:
Write a great story
Polish your manuscript
Get a website
Be present on social media
Start a blog to generate interest
My immediate question was, “What do I blog about? My story is about a family no one knows, in a place no one has ever been, with themes no one has ever experienced. Start a blog???”
When I reflect on what I’ve been doing the most over the last year, it’s not been on writing (other than rewrites.) I’ve been consumed with all the other stuff that will get my material into the hands of enthusiastic readers.
It’s that monumental task that led me to an idea: blog about what I’m learning. I can’t be the only aspiring author with a great story to share, who is overwhelmed by the process. I bet there are lots of people just like me!
This is for us. The unknown creative people who want to have their work known. This blog-ish will follow all the stuff I’m researching, contemplating, and find useful on the road to publication. I don’t have the answers, but I’m not sure any author does, published or not. I’ll confess my true struggle, and reveal my decisions with justification for my choices. I’ll provide links of articles I’ve found useful and tools I’d like to keep for future reference.
So here I am. A blogger. Even though I never thought I would be. Maybe I won’t be for more than this...we’ll see.
If you are a writer, author or reader, I invite you to take this journey with me. We can be friends and muddle through this together like two bats in a tanning bed.
Someday, when all is said and done, I hope to introduce you to my friend and blogging muse, Scavenger Girl - Season of Atchem.
______________________________________________
Jennifer Arntson is a hopeful Bestseller, professional friend maker, wife, mom, and sworn enemy of Caillou. When she’s not writing, she’s reading about writing, and if she ever gets one of her hands free, she uses it to grab a glass of wine.
Follow her on one of the gazillion social media platforms because the best friends are the ones that don’t require phone calls or birthday cards.
http://www.ScavengerGirl.com
http://www.facebook.com/scavengergirl
Being the researcher I am, I did like all excited writers do, and I got online to see what to do next. Back then, I expected publishing to be an easy process; I mean, writing is the hard part, right?
Wrong.
I’m in the third year of development, have all five manuscripts done, and have decided that writing was the easy part! Come to find out, there is no fast-track to getting a quality finished product. It seems as if there are a gazillion opinions out there about what should be done, and what should be avoided when pursuing publishing. Some of the resources are free, others are not, and both camps make some pretty outlandish promises.
While I’ve never had work published, don’t have years of education in literature, or know the proper use of the Oxford Comma (just ask my editor), what I do have is a great book and the passion to give it all I’ve got.
Most of what I’ve researched encourages writers to get started this way:
Write a great story
Polish your manuscript
Get a website
Be present on social media
Start a blog to generate interest
My immediate question was, “What do I blog about? My story is about a family no one knows, in a place no one has ever been, with themes no one has ever experienced. Start a blog???”
When I reflect on what I’ve been doing the most over the last year, it’s not been on writing (other than rewrites.) I’ve been consumed with all the other stuff that will get my material into the hands of enthusiastic readers.
It’s that monumental task that led me to an idea: blog about what I’m learning. I can’t be the only aspiring author with a great story to share, who is overwhelmed by the process. I bet there are lots of people just like me!
This is for us. The unknown creative people who want to have their work known. This blog-ish will follow all the stuff I’m researching, contemplating, and find useful on the road to publication. I don’t have the answers, but I’m not sure any author does, published or not. I’ll confess my true struggle, and reveal my decisions with justification for my choices. I’ll provide links of articles I’ve found useful and tools I’d like to keep for future reference.
So here I am. A blogger. Even though I never thought I would be. Maybe I won’t be for more than this...we’ll see.
If you are a writer, author or reader, I invite you to take this journey with me. We can be friends and muddle through this together like two bats in a tanning bed.
Someday, when all is said and done, I hope to introduce you to my friend and blogging muse, Scavenger Girl - Season of Atchem.
______________________________________________
Jennifer Arntson is a hopeful Bestseller, professional friend maker, wife, mom, and sworn enemy of Caillou. When she’s not writing, she’s reading about writing, and if she ever gets one of her hands free, she uses it to grab a glass of wine.
Follow her on one of the gazillion social media platforms because the best friends are the ones that don’t require phone calls or birthday cards.
http://www.ScavengerGirl.com
http://www.facebook.com/scavengergirl
