Rae Roy's Blog, page 70

Fortifying Friday – Fight for What’s Right

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Yesterday was a bad day for me. My general practitioner admitted to refusing to refer me to specialists. He was dismissive of my concerns and told me other patients were more important to him than I was.

Who the hell does that?

I was livid. He told me that if I didn’t like it, I was free to seek a different doctor. Obviously, I’m changing doctors, but I’m not leaving it there. How many other people has he done this to? After talking with some friends, I have decided to submit a formal complaint to the college of physicians. Because there’s never a reason to be treated the way I was.

I hate conflict. I hate having to put a complaint in.

But I once knew a wonderful man who died of stage 4 lung cancer that wasn’t diagnosed because a doctor decided he just needed to lose weight and refused to probe further.

And I shouldn’t have to. Canada is known for good health care. But it’s only as good as the people providing that care.

I’m also pissed off at people that try to tell me what the reality is of living with Celiac disease. They are as ill-informed as the average cis-hetero person is when it comes to the life of a transgender individual.

Is it just a coincidence that I need to fight for something the same day Trump becomes president?

We all have our battles.

Hang in there.

Ciao,

R~

Thoughtful Thursday – My World for Now

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I don’t have one particular thing on my mind for Thoughtful Thursday, so I’ll ramble about life, martial arts, French, and writing today.

WordPress is acting strangely for me today, so I’ll apologize in advance for any possibly strange formatting and such. It has been deleting things after I type them…

Life

My bank accounts have all been sorted out. Unfortunately, I am not currently eligible for overdraft protection due to my currently unemployed state. It doesn’t matter that EI will be paying me nearly as much as what I netted when I was working. It also doesn’t matter that one pays income tax on EI. Ah well, I’ll be able to eat and pay for my mortgage and my other expenses. Self employment would count if I was actually making money off of my writing or any other venture.

I think I’m getting somewhere on cleaning my condo. Some days it’s hard to tell. I find something that needs to be gone through and that makes an area messier before it gets clean. This is rather like a number of things in life.

The outside of my oven is clean. I need to run the self-cleaning setting for the inside, but I have an appointment this afternoon, so it will have to wait until later. I don’t think the people that owned it before ever cleaned it, so it’s pretty gross looking inside.

One of the things I almost have organized is my movie collection. Any non Blue Rays are in CD wallets. They take up so much less room. The problem is that I had bought a movie I already owned. It was $5, but I don’t want to get into the habit of accidentally doing that. I have a list now that has all the movies I own in it. I should probably get a real copy of Rent eventually rather than the PSP version. It’s the only PSP movie I own. Hey, I should charge that thing up and play with it sometime soon. Actually, I can probably trade or sell some games, though I think most probably aren’t worth much.

I’m registered with three recruitment agencies now. Hopefully, I will get a job lead soon, though it could be nice if it happens after the snow is gone. I like to hermit in the winter except for fun things like ice skating.

That reminds me. It’s only about $20 to get a skating pass for the year. I should do that and get my butt out of my house as there are about 8 arenas near me, which is awesome. The canal is fun too, but not near my home at all and parking at Dow’s lake gets expensive.

French

French has begun. We have a new teacher that we know only by first name. He’s very different. He makes us work a lot and often leaves the room while we are completing an exercise.

I was already doing one of the things the teacher wants us to do this semester, which is reading French books to increase vocabulary. He wants us to present on the books we are reading. They can be children’s books. They should be at a level for us where a 10-word sentence would have 2-3 words we don’t know. Any easier, we don’t learn. Any harder, we don’t understand enough.

It sounds like exam is going to be very difficult, so I’m a little scared. At least the courses are inexpensive, so if I had to retake, it wouldn’t kill my wallet, but I rather prefer passing classes.

He often likes to mention things that will damn us if we are taking the government exams. I write those down in case I go that far with French. My main aim has been to talk to my extended family. It would be nice to be eligible for bilingual job positions, though.

Martial Arts

I figured something out about my grip last night while I was practicing my cutting in my condo. Generally, they tell us to have our right index finger at a certain spot on the handle. But my tiny hands kept slipping as I cut. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong for the longest time. Last night, I noticed something on my handle. As many might know, katana often have inserts of things like fairies and such. One on each side of the sword’s handle. Near the bottom of the handle is a knot. This knot is where the left pinky rests above, on top of an opening where the manta ray skin shows, which is grippy. Well, I noticed that on the right side of the handle, near the bottom of where my doves sit, is a similar feeling knot. Instead of making sure my index finger is one finger away from the tsuba (sword guard), I’m going to try to make sure my right pinky is gripping by this knot. Hopefully, my slipping grip will go away and my cutting will improve. I’m sure it will take a bit to correct this for good, but I already feel an improvement in my grip.

Writing

I’m struggling to write this short story. I did some plotting last night. Hopefully that helps me get it written and the anthology accepts it.

Once I finish it, I’ll be back to working on The Blood Waitress Club. I might still need to fix the parts I last read to my writing group. I’ll have to take a good look at it.

So much to do and there never seems to be enough time!

Ciao,

R~

Merry Monday – Blue Monday 2017

[image error]This weekend has been all over the map.

Friday turned out unexpectedly good. As you may recall, I was dreading my appointment. I don’t really like going on in winter unless I’m doing something with friends. By registering with this one recruiter, I had the option of being registered with another. I’m now registered with three recruiters in Ottawa, so triple the chances of getting work! After the appointment, I went on a search to get tickets for the bus. I didn’t find the store for them, but at this corner the bus that takes me really close to home, the bus I can never catch, was right on the corner and despite not having the proper funds, the busdriver let me on. I had too little change or a $10 bill. I put in a ticket for excellent customer service without mentioning exactly what he did as I don’t want him to get in trouble. It was really cold that day too!

I pulled together a decent supper with a glass wine and managed to gobble my food down before it was time for writing group. My group enjoyed my WIP short sci-fi story, which is a nice boost. Group ended early, so I watched The Girl with All the Gifts. It was a different take on a zombie apocalypse. I don’t recommend it to pregnant women. I do recommend it to everyone else. It’s not extremely horrifying or overly gory. I hear the book is great too. Now I’m wondering if it’s only one book or a series…

I didn’t do a lot on Saturday. It was the anniversary of Alan Rickman’s passing and I watched The January Man in honour of him. It’s January and I’d never seen it before. It was a decent movie, but it needed more Rickman. Oh, I also made delicious gluten free wings in the oven that were golden and crispy. After that I watched Little Ashes. I really liked it. I enjoyed learning more about Salvador Dali and Federico Garcia Lorca.

On Sunday, I figured out my bank accounts are having issues. One account, my main one with all my money in it, had somehow lost its bank card mapping, so money has been coming out of the other one. That account I only transfer into as needed, so now it’s overdrawn. As a result? I couldn’t access either of them from a debit terminal and had to buy groceries with my credit card. Oh, also, I stupidly gave a cheque for the wrong account to my condo corp for the special assessment and of course it bounced. And my condo corp decided to take the monthly fee out of the wrong account, so I sent a nasty email to them because there is zero percent reason why they should’ve made a change to my monthly payment. I’m going to consolidate them into one account and not have this problem in the future. For now, I put the cheques for that account in a bag and left myself a note saying those are not the cheques to use. I’ve been to the banks today and I have successfully gotten my bank card designation fixed. My mortgage is also fixed, though I came to fix it so early that it didn’t show on their system, so they were confused as to why I was giving them money. I have a receipt. The account that gets paid from has been changed now as well. My life insurance is also updated. I think the only thing left is my car payment. The lady that fixed my bank card issue suggested I call tomorrow to close my one savings account as the other two I have make more in interest. I shall do that. I tried to use the phone earlier to fix this, but I didn’t have a 5-digit password and apparently I won’t need it to get through as they’ll just ask me things to verify who I am. I have this feeling that PC Financial has gotten hacked to a degree. How else would my bank card designations suddenly change?

Iaido was lovely on Sunday as it was only me on the student side of the room. I got corrections for a couple of kata, specifically Shinobu and Ukenagashi. Hopefully, those will stay in my brain and be accessible the next time we do that set. Shinobu makes a lot more sense now. It’s amazing what a slight footwork change can do to a whole kata.

Aside from fixing banking problems today, I also need to fix up my resume, and go to my first day of French level 3. I stopped at the liquor store to get some wine for my sanity and to confirm that my bank card issue was resolved. I hope the “soft, easy-drinking” red I picked up is tasty. I will test it with some pasta this week. I also got a small bottle of sake. They have way less on the shelf now that it isn’t Christmastime… Note to self for next year. Actually, I should just find a place that has my favourite one and stock up. Maybe the little blue bottle will become my favourite though… I also got more of the Sangria I received as a gift because it’s tasty. I didn’t find any Barolo there. Not even in the vintage section.

Well, I should eat lunch though I never got to breakfast. Wait. I think I had a couple of marshmallows for breakfast actually. I think I’ll be happy when this day is complete. At least I’ve been too busy fixing things to be overcome by the melancholy that often comes with Blue Monday?

Ciao,

R~

Fortifying Friday – What Did I Do This Week?

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On Thursday, I was preoccupied with an appointment and treating myself to pho. I really didn’t have a lot to post anyway.

This week has been rather relaxed. Well, relaxed for me.

I queried another agent for The Page & The Magician and searched for my next query possibility. It’s still nerve-wracking to click send.

I have an appointment this afternoon with a recruiter. Last night, my activities turned to job searching. EI hasn’t mailed me to say I’m approved. I’m not sure what’s going on there. Hopefully something comes through soon.

I’ve been making progress on cleaning my main living areas. I can see my kitchen counter. I can’t remember the last time that happened. Last year was extremely busy with conventions and seminars. I expect I’ll do less this year given my current income status.

I have a short story to work on this morning and writers group tonight, so I best get out of my too comfy bed and get on those things.

Have a good weekend!

Ciao,

R~

Merry Monday – Challenging Week

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Image created using Bit Strips.

A lot of my weekend was more challenging than I would’ve prefered, but that’s life sometimes.

Videos

Well, I spent a large chunk of the weekend trying to find video software that I don’t hate. I haven’t been successful. This is what I want. Filmora’s easy mode, but don’t force a theme on me or music. I like how easy it is to plunk a photo or two in and then have your main video and then another photo. The problem is that they force music and a theme and then your video is like some kind of animated scrapbook instead of a video and the parts where you are talking are gone. I don’t want to deal with things frame by frame. It’s too much for me to handle mentally, visually, etc. I want something simple, but useful.

And I’m getting really tired of applications that are listed on websites as free, then you download it and an hour into using it a popup informs you that actually it’s a trial. Tell me that at the get go. If your software isn’t free, it shouldn’t come up when someone searches “open source” in Google.

I tried editing the audio on a video, and came to the conclusion it would be easier to redo that video, so I’ll do that eventually once I find the video software for me.

Martial Arts

After my first Iaido and Kendo practices of the year, I seem to have injured my right wrist

Fortifying Friday – Done!

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Image created using Bit Strips.

Editing is complete on The Page & The Magician. Well, until an agent or publisher tells me to fix something. This last revision was about making sure the story flowed, fixing grammar and tense issues, and being clever. In correcting flow, I found some spots where I had thrown something in that either didn’t jive with the story or I forgot to finish something. A package never got delivered, and that had to be fixed. In being clever, sometimes the smallest changes can add so much to a story. After a great conversation with a friend, I added hints that my world was bigger than the immediate story. I also made tiny changes like the species of a flower to increase meaning. As I’ve said before, I write in layers. I don’t know what layers are beyond this. I’ve taken my novel as far as I can alone.

With this complete, I have a little breathing room to tend to things like cleaning my home. Not too much. I have more queries I need to do, of course.

I have a short story I also need to plot out because pantsing hasn’t taken me nearly far enough. After the short story? The Blood Waitress Club will become my focus.

I also have some other skills to work on and an interview to prepare for. French level 3 starts in a couple of weeks as well.

First, I’m dancing and singing some Green Day in the privacy of my condo. Sorry neighbours! I realize my singing is terrible, but I enjoy it anyway

Thoughtful Thursday – First Query

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I submitted my first ever query letter this week. It was hard to describe all the elements of my book in a couple of paragraphs. It’s urban fantasy erotica. I didn’t talk about the sex scenes. They are, of course, part of the story, but there is more than sex going on and I wanted the agent to hear about the basic story and get an idea of the key things that happen. It’s really hard to do that when you’ve spent so much time making sure all the pieces go together like breadcrumbs making a trail. I figured they would guess there is sex in it judging by my putting it in the erotica category. I wanted to tell them the whole wonderful story, but there isn’t enough room nor do they have enough time. I just hope I gave them enough to pique their interest and give me a chance.

I was still holding my breath after I clicked on the submit button. It’s a mix of fear and excitement.

I suppose I should submit to some other agents too. Eggs in one basket and all that.

With martial arts cancelled due to freezing rain, I had time to do more editing.

Yes. I queried before I completely finished my edits. Why? Because I have a background in project management. Knowing that it took me only a couple of days to get through the first half of the book and that they usually take around 3 months to respond, I wanted to get the ball rolling.

There was so much more I would’ve liked to put into the letter!

Yesterday, I continued editing my novel and edited the first draft of a children’s book for a friend. Editing is something I struggled with early on, but now I quite like it. There is set structure and I can just sit down and work without interruption. Well, when there aren’t barking dogs and sirens disrupting my concentration that is. I think editing as a career direction is something for me to look into in a serious sense.

Well, I have chapters to edit, a short story to write & edit, and other novels to finish first drafts on.

Ciao,

R~

Merry Monday – A New Year

So far this year, I’ve been going at things in a balanced way. On New Year’s Day, I edited a chapter, had pancakes with a tasty hazelnut syrup a friend brought me, watched an episode of The OA (really enjoying this show), and then read the prologue of the first book in my 2017 reading list. After a web surfing break, I edited another chapter, tried to play piano, and had a challenging night with Skyrim. So challenging, I had to start a new character that is resistant to disease so maybe she won’t get turned into a vampire and get attacked on site everywhere she goes. I just want to run around killing and crafting things!

Anyway, I’m trying to patiently wait for something to arrive so I can start doing more cool things this year. I want to do more videos

Fortifying Friday – Resolutions?

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I guess it’s that time of year. Time to decide my plan for the year ahead. I worked as a planner for a long time and I know how Murphy likes to screw with plans. I’ve never really been a New Year’s Resolution type. Why? I don’t believe in waiting until the new year to start on most goals. I mean, obviously if one were to start their list of 2017 books to read before 2017, that would be cheating, but other things? Just go out and do the things. Don’t wait for the perfect day. Don’t wait until you have hand weights to exercise or you’ll go to the store and find they literally only have 1 in stock. Also, I just spent a bunch of time eating junk and drinking more alcohol than usual, so my body is probably saying ‘WTF dude’.

Anyway, I know that it’s not likely I’ll be able to do a specific word count each day. My life has been too unpredictable. I know it doesn’t make sense to try to do some exercise programs while also doing martial arts. I don’t have the time to workout for 3 hours. Plus, if I’m going to do a bunch of legwork on a day from Iaido, I’m not going to spend 2 hours killing myself with RushFit beforehand. Anyway, I’m not even sure where I’m going with this rant, so onto my plans.

Here is what I plan for 2017:

Complete my reading list with the caveat that if a book is horrendous, I can switch it out for something else. Life is skilled at torturing me enough that I don’t believe in forcing myself to read something I hate. Also, there are millions of books and I’m only on earth for a short amount of time.
Be kinder to others. Unless they insist on being an asshole to me. I’m not a doormat for anyone. I can already see how well I’m going to do at this one.
Get The Page & The Magician published somehow. This one is the most important one.
Write more. And not with the TV on. Actually dedicate some time that is just for writing.
Do at least one thing listed on my bucket list.
Keep training in martial arts and attempt Nidan grading again. Improve how long I can do seiza for and how I do tatehiza. Improve my posture also. Practice cutting every day.
Exercise more regularly not including martial arts. Stop slowly killing myself by sitting in a chair all day. I don’t have specific goals here. I’m already in my ideal weight range and just need to firm things up. I’m more interested in seeing gains in performance. I’ll start by finding my limits on things like squats I guess.
Keep my home a little cleaner. This one might take all year.
Continue learning French. Dedicate time for this too.
Learn to make videos for my YouTube channel.
Be open to falling in love.
Play more music. Music is one of the things that makes me happy and I need to do it more. All 3 instruments. It’s time to stop making excuses and make more time to play.
Play more video games. I fucking love these things and I hardly ever play them.
Laugh more. Watch more comedies. Learn to fucking relax.

Well, that’s all I can think of. Wish me luck?

I hope 2017 is a better year for us all.

Ciao,

R~

Thoughtful Thursday – Life As I Know It

During the holidays, I had a lot of conversations on a lot of different topics with a number of people. I also saw the new Star Wars movie with my brothers the same day Carrie had a heart attack. I wasn’t in a good mood for most of the holidays between being laid off close to Christmas and struggling with food. Usually it’s not so bad, but everything wanted to be a challenge all at the same time.

Star Wars

Watching Rogue One was a mix of wonder and sadness as I had just heard of Carrie’s heart attack not long before. I found the movie to be well done and bittersweet. It filled a void in the Star Wars canon for me as I don’t read the books. It was a void I was aware had to have happened, but now I know more about it. Growing up on Star Wars, I’ve seen the original trilogy many times and Leia was a favourite of mine. I didn’t find out until after I had reached home that 2016 claimed her for good and all I want to do is cry about it. I don’t think she’d want that for us all though. I think Carrie would tell us to get off our asses and do something with the time we have.

Life

I must confess it is hard for me to visit my hometown at times. There are things I love about it, but it hasn’t felt like the place I belong in a long time. When a friend asked if I would be moving back there given my current state of employment, I was confused about the whole idea. For one thing, Ottawa has a lot more opportunities for employment. There are wonderful people here in my dojo and in the writing community that make it feel like the place I belong. Can I make more friends? Sure. But I’m not leaving Ottawa unless something really good comes along. I love how much Ottawa has going on at any one time. I can’t picture myself not attending Comiccon or Can-Con. Anyway, I’m the kid in my family that is like my dad. He didn’t stay in his hometown either.

Dating

A friend said something interesting about how the men in online chats with me might not be perverts and actually be trying to determine if we are sexually compatible before they risk falling in love with me. It’s definitely a perspective I hadn’t considered. I still think they could at least tell me some general things about themselves like if they are martial artists, musicians, writers, introverts, etc so I can figure out if I would ever want to spend time with them if sex isn’t involved. And pretending to work for Trudeau when one can’t spell ‘over’ really isn’t attractive. For now, I’m starting the year with all online dating accounts closed. I’d rather bump into someone in the real world anyway.

Writing

I’m back home and working away at the last edit I will do on The Page & The Magician until a professional has told me what needs fixing. I was on chapter 9 of 26 as I went through 4 of them yesterday. I’m heavily considering a more traditional approach for this book. I expect Blood Waitress Club will be a self-publish partly because of a deal with a friend, but also I feel that is the best plan for it unless some publisher falls in love with it. I feel like it’s a good idea to do different things depending on the story and its audience.

Work

I’ve been applying to jobs, but I kind of feel like it might not be bad to have some time off to finish this book and avoid commuting in winter. I have some things I’ve realized about myself that make me want to make a career change and I’m taking some time to decide what is most important to me. I’m also thinking an approach may be to have several money making ventures, so I’m never having to depend on one employer again.

Well, I’m off to do more editing on the book. I plan to watch Kiki’s Delivery Service later and perhaps A New Hope in honour of both mother and daughter that were lost this week. I will probably cry. I haven’t really stopped since Carrie went. I mean, I stop long enough to do the odd thing, but my heart hurts.

Ciao,

R~