Rae Roy's Blog, page 68

Merry Monday – Good News!

[image error]On Saturday, I was informed that I’ve been accepted to college! I’ll be studying Scriptwriting at Algonquin College in the Fall. The program has me more excited than any other I’ve taken. I’ll be learning about the history of film in Canada, how to write for actors/digital media/broadcasting/screen, basic video production, the business side of script writing, and there’s a field placement. I also read about how they often have a field trip where they take students out to pitch scripts to people who make movies happen. I think it might actually be at the Toronto Film Festival. I’m super eager to start the course! Seriously, if I had the books I’d already be reading them and like Hermione know a lot of the answers on day one…

It’s good that I don’t have them yet as I have to prepare financially for this. One of the things to decide is whether or not to get the laptop I really want or to go with something cheaper to save cash. I really want one that coverts to a tablet, but I think I could save like $400 or so going with less. Decisions… I mean eating and my mortgage are pretty important, but gadgetty goodness!

Other good news? I will have an article published soon in Onder Magazine about how composing music and writing stories are similar activities. I’ll let you know when you can get your hands on it, as soon as I know

Fortifying Friday – Confidence

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So, remember yesterday when I was worried about looking like a flake to the heads of the college program I’m trying to get into? Turns out, I already accomplished this. When I went to email them to let them know about my high school transcript snafu, I found an email suggesting I send the written piece directly rather than just through the proper path because the proper one doesn’t get checked frequently and could take a long time to get to them. This email came nine days before and somehow I didn’t see it though it was marked as read. I think I need to do email box cleanup because I’m getting swamped with junk email. 

So what did I do? I admitted I didn’t see it and attached it then informed them of the transcript issue.

Anyway, today I saw a friend had posted about doing another revision on his book before querying again and I realized I do this between every one too. Then I thought, maybe we all need to be more confident in our stories and just keep sending them out. Publishers and agents often reject stories they even enjoy reading because it’s not about the story but how it fits with the rest they publish or represent. Or because they can’t personally relate to it, which is how I feel about Hemingway. I’m not a rich white dude who spends a lot of time drunk or hunting, so I just don’t relate to the content. 

So I’m going to believe in my story and keep sending it out until I find someone who loves it as much as I do. This doesn’t mean there aren’t parts that can be improved upon, but the publisher that accepts it will have me do some edits anyway. Why waste time revising something that is publishable as is, when I could be working on the next story? 

I didn’t get the query out yesterday, but I damn sure will today.

Whatever you’re struggling with, whether it be an art project or a situation, try believing in yourself and see where that takes you. That’s what I’m going to do.

Salut,

R~

Filed under: inspiration, Personal Musings, Writing Tagged: school, The Page & The Magician

Thoughtful Thursday – Holding Back

[image error]I haven’t gotten as much done as I’d like lately. Some of it is due to outside forces, those that aren’t in my realm of control. The rest is due to my own fear.

I have a number of projects on the go, some writing endeavors*, some business ventures, and a few scholastic plans. Earlier this week, I submitted an article to a magazine I’ve been wanting to get involved with for a while now.  I’ve been scared to submit my novel anywhere lately. As authors, we spend a lot of time writing a story we are passionate about and it always hurts to get rejected even if we know that’s part of the business side of writing.

I haven’t written much this week beyond my blog as I’ve been trying to get organized for school. I realized it was taking an awfully long time for my high school to send my transcript in to the electronic service and so I emailed the college application service to ask if there was anything I could do. They informed me that the school board my high school is part of doesn’t yet participate in the electronic transcript service. After emailing and calling my high school numerous times, I was able to request my transcript and mail them a money order. I contacted the college and they are (thankfully) okay with me bringing the copy I receive to them for my file. Of course, I have to wait for the high school to receive the money order, then wait for the transcript to travel to my home first. It dawns on me that I should probably inform the coordinator of the program, so they don’t think I’m some sort of flake…

I’m trying to ensure I can pay for school, eat, and cover my expenses. It’s a scary thing. I need to apply for OSAP and see what bursaries are available. I also need to find out about the work study program.

I bought supplies for a business venture, but haven’t jumped into it. I feel afraid to start it for some reason. It involves sewing and I guess I’m not sure I’m fully ready to cut any of the fabric. Once it’s cut, there’s no going back. I am working on getting the work space set up for it though.

I have no idea what my future looks like. I suppose no one really does, but I feel like mine is less sure than others at this juncture. Lately, I’m unsure if I’m moving forward or basically in a state of limbo. The calm before the storm, perhaps?

At any rate, I’m out of clean underwear that aren’t for sexy fun times, so I should get lugging some of the dirty clothes to the floor beneath mine. Then I need to stop stalling and get that query done. Fear be damned.

Salut,

R~

*I realized while writing this that I have no real idea of how to spell this word because I’m Canadian and my natural instinct is to place a U in between the O and the R in every word that ends in OR.
Filed under: Health & Home, Personal Musings, Writing Tagged: job loss, school, Writing

Merry Monday – Ghosts and Deadlines

[image error]On Saturday, I awoke around 7:00 AM without an alarm. I went on Facebook and for some reason, my aunt showed up in my suggested friends list. This was strange to me as last year I had tried to find her and some of my other relatives online without any success. Three hours later, my brother texted me to let me know my aunt had passed away. It would simply be a strange occurrence, if this type of thing hadn’t happened to me on two other occasions. On those other occasions, before finding out that friend’s fathers had died, I saw someone that looked exactly like them in a public place. Before I could say hi, the strangers disappeared.

Yeah, I know what that sounds like.

One of my aunts is a registered clairvoyant. She’s helped police solve cases.

I know what that sounds like too.

I also know scientists say there’s no way ghosts can exist.

My grandma died in our house when I was 6. One day shortly after, I don’t know exactly how many days after, both my brother and I heard our grandma open the china cabinet to get a tea cup as she always had, so we both rushed to the kitchen. He was in the basement, and I upstairs. We didn’t see her, but it doesn’t change that two of us heard the same sound at the same time.

My personal experience tells me that there is stuff out there that science cannot yet explain. In fact, science will currently say that the existence of ghosts is impossible while also holding to a model that suggests the same amount of energy is always around. I’m fully aware that others have different experiences and I have no right to impose my own beliefs on them.

The rest of Saturday was split between crying and trying to distract myself. I couldn’t eat all of my supper because choking led to throwing up part of it. I was pretty scared and wondering if I was going to be done in by a piece of steak and some red wine. Later, I made a cookie and dropped half of it on the floor. I said screw it and picked up the wayward pieces of cookie and ate them anyway. Then, I watched TV because it was the safest course of action given how the rest of the day had played out.

What followed next was an editor letting me know that my proposal for an article was accepted. This was wonderful news despite having fewer days to write it because the email got lost somewhere in the cyber cosmos. I have much of it done, though the last two sections are difficult as they involve elements I’m not confident I’ve fully grasped myself, so who am I to be writing about such things. Ah, the imposter syndrome. What would any artist be without it?

At any rate, it’s close to finished. Going to sleep on it and see if anything comes to mind tomorrow.

I wasn’t looking forward to French today. I had hardly practiced during our week away, I was tired, and the whole reason I took French was because the last time I saw my aunt and that part of my family I could barely communicate with them. Now my aunt is gone and I guess part of me feels like what is the point of it now. Yes, I know I live in Ottawa and being able to speak French is a good thing for future jobs, but I felt like giving up today and that isn’t something I do. We get another break around the 13th. I’m hoping to catch up on the homework soon.

Anyway, I need sleep. Maybe everything will look a little bit better tomorrow.

Salut,

R~

Filed under: Health & Home, Personal Musings, Tragedy, Writing Tagged: French, language learning, loss

Fortifying Friday – With Bated Breath

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I’m in a strange period where there are lots of things that *could* happen, but I’m waiting to see what does happen.

On School

4/5 transcripts have been received by the college. The transcript that is outstanding is my high school one. Perhaps hard to find as I’ve been out of high school for a *few* years. I know the college has received my application as not only have I received a student number, but the program head contacted me to request my written piece, which I had already submitted earlier the same day. Yes, it requires a written piece saying why you’re interested and suited for the program. Hopefully, I’ve convinced them to let me in. Hopefully, my high school stops sucking and finds my transcript… My guess is that mine hasn’t been digitized and they have to search for it. I have a campus tour booked for next week and will ask questions about work study and such.

Romantic Life

I had a lovely date this week with a nice man. It’s refreshing to go out with someone who doesn’t just want to get naked. Conversation wasn’t awkward at all and I had fun

Thoughtful Thursday – A Decline in Customer “Service”

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Has anyone else noticed that organizations and governments today really don’t provide customer service? This is something I keep running into. It’s like they don’t actually read your support request.

Case 1: “Service” Canada

I put in a suggestion to enhance their website. They switched to a model a couple of years ago where every service is accessed from a central place. This is nice *in theory*. I’m currently collecting EI and the first thing I see on login is menus for people collecting retirement pensions. I’m not eligible for my pension for about 30 more years, so I thought it would be great if they could put what I’m currently there for in the forefront for me rather than having to search for it. I put in a ticket for the suggestion and the response was to send my request to EI. My request had nothing to do with EI or a specific program, so I tried again with a new request that didn’t specify a program and said website enhancement. Then the response was that they need a program specified in order to know where to direct the request.

Case 2: Pokemon Go

For some reason, as someone who is logging in via the Pokemon Trainer Club, I’m having to reset my password every two days. It just stops working. I tried to explain that there is something wrong with my account, but they just told me to reset my password. Did they even read my support request?

I’m sure there are more examples of this out there than these two that I’ve experienced recently. I’m getting this feeling that a robot is scanning for keywords and not understanding what the ticket is actually saying.

Anyone else experience something similar to either of these cases? Something worse?

Salut,

R~

Filed under: Gaming, Personal Musings, World Tagged: pokemon go, service canada

Merry Monday – Family Day

[image error]I almost wrote the title of this blog post as “Merry Christmas”. My brain may be a little tired today after a long weekend filled with training and libations…

Friday began with finishing my packing. I had a chat with a nice older lady who lives in my building, then picked up a friend. We grabbed some food items and a gift for our beautiful Montreal hostess before heading out of town. The drive was an easy one and I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation. We reached our destination and it wasn’t long before we were having a delicious meal with Black Forest Cupcake wine, St. Germain liqueur, and homemade Limoncello.

I had a little trouble sleeping on Friday. It’s hard for me to sleep around other people and especially in strange beds.

Saturday brought an early rise, a quick shower, and a tasty breakfast before heading over to Concordia’s Loyola campus to train. We had a brief break in the morning and lunch. Other than those, training was near constant with only short stoppages to listen instead of performing exercises and kata. Our warmup was over an hour long. We were all happy to reach dinner at Kanda where we gorged on sushi and sake. So much sake. Black & Gold from Gekkeikan is still my favourite thus far. After dinner, a group of us visited with the senseis while having tea and chocolate treats. I seem to be one of the few I know that don’t yet own an iron tea set. Something to remedy in the future.

I slept excellently on Saturday and didn’t wake up until 6:30 when I had to pee, but couldn’t bring myself to move due to the protests of my upper body.

On Sunday we had a half day of training in the morning. I couldn’t make it through the full period and watched from the sidelines as my shoulder and elbow couldn’t handle the weight of my aluminum or my wooden sword anymore. I saw a lot of little things I have been doing wrong and I am going to work on correcting them.

Following training, we went back to our hostess’ place for lunch and conversation before making our way back to Ottawa. But my weekend didn’t end there.

Shortly before arriving in Ottawa, my friends asked me to come visit and play card games. I was happy to see them on this family day weekend and get to read their son a story. It was the perfect ending to the family weekend as I got to spend time with some of my martial arts family and one of my oldest friends and his family who are like my Ottawa family.

Robaxxacet helped loosen the knot in my shoulder and let me sleep pain-free.

Speaking of family, I didn’t get to see my own this weekend. My aunt is very ill and expected to pass away at any time. She told my dad that she didn’t care if he was at her funeral and wanted him to come see her before she passes because after she will just be a body. So my 73-year-old dad took a trip on the bus to see his sister. They thought it was best I not travel up there given that it is winter and it is an area of Northern Quebec best accessed by first traveling to North Bay as it is in the Temiscamingue region.

Now, I best call my mother because Family Day falls on her birthday this year. She is 74 today!

Salut,

R~

 

Filed under: Health & Home, Martial Arts, Personal Musings Tagged: family

Fortifying Friday -The Future

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I’ve had to spend a lot of time in the last six months thinking about where I am and where I want to be. What I’ve realized is that I have hated nearly every job I’ve had. Traditional office work fills me with dread. There is nothing quite so devoid of purpose to me as making documents no one reads. I can create an excellent project plan and management will ignore it then wonder what happened to their project budget. Every IT job I’ve had has included some jackass who won’t listen to what I have to say simply because I have boobs and look young for my age. I don’t have a problem having to prove myself. I have a problem having to prove myself for a line of work I have zero passion for anymore. One cannot hate work as much as I have and not be filled with stress, anxiety, dread, and depression without it taking a toll on one’s health.

So what’s next for me?  I’ve thinking about the past and what I miss doing for work. I began looking at college programs in search of something artistic and technical. I’ve applied for a 1-year program at Algonquin College. It includes a field placement, networking opportunities, and will make use of all my skills. So I’ve taken a large step away from that old life that never felt right for me.

Hopefully, I can figure out how to pay my expenses while doing this one year of school. It’s not going to be easy, but I truly think it will be worth it. I’m looking forward to a future where I enjoy my work again.

That is if my application is successful. Some of my transcripts have went through. I’m waiting on two others to be received.

I’m really unsure how to cover my condo, car loan, utilities, food, and school unless I can get some scholarships, OSAP, work part-time, and budget tightly. Maybe I could get a work-study position, so that I can work at the school in between classes. There’s so much yet to figure out on the financial side.

You’re probably wondering what the program is. Well, I’m not going to tell you until it becomes a reality.

What I will say is that I feel great about this decision.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend! I’ll be spending mine in Montreal where I’ll be swinging swords with friends. I’m also looking forward to having a day off of French class as my province celebrates Family Day on Monday.

Salut,

R~

Filed under: inspiration, Personal Musings, Writing Tagged: job loss, school

Thoughtful Thursday – Assumptions

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I disagree with the saying that when you assume something you make an ass out of u and me. You just make an ass out of yourself.  Assumptions show others how small your worldview is.

Assumptions are a tool of the lazy. When you invent an entire image of a person, city, country, generation instead of researching beyond your own experience, you’re lazy. When you assume you know someone based on 2 conversations on social media, you’re just plain wrong. And it’s ridiculous to think otherwise. There are 525,600 minutes in a year and if you think you can know what one person does with each of those from a brief interaction, you are living in a bubble.

Hell, you can’t even be sure you know people you hang out with in person regularly. Everyone that “knew” Ted Bundy thought he was a wonderful human being. They had no clue he spent his time burglarising homes; kidnapping, raping, and killing women; or fornicating with their dead bodies.

Newsflash! People don’t experience or perceive situations the way you do. Your own feelings on something don’t make it okay to speak for an entire generation. Your feelings also don’t make you any kind of authority on a subject.

Also, generations are a marketing construct, which means they aren’t meaningful for determining how to treat humans beyond trying to sell them shit. But I digress.

And we’ve all made assumptions at one time or another. I did in one relationship. It didn’t work out, in part, because assumptions piss people off! They aren’t an effective communication tool. Even less so when issued after an ad hominem attack.

Now, we can infer, that is to make an educated guess based on in depth research and facts about something such as Trump is dangerous. We could infer this before the election as there was a pile of evidence about the way he thinks and how he runs his businesses.

Inferences aren’t made after 1 or 2 brief interactions. One must gather solid evidence. The non-circumstantial kind. Imagine if someone went to court and only had weak evidence. Or if NASA didn’t research all possible use cases for an astronaut in space.

I can reasonably infer that the teen boys in my anime club spend their free time doing homework, playing video games, reading, watching more anime, and masturbating. The club is in a library, we’ve chatted about manga, and they’re teenage boys. This doesn’t mean that they don’t also play instruments, do martial arts, take swimming lessons, have girlfriends, attend church etc. They are humans with other interests.

I’ve volunteered with kids and teens a number of times in my life actually. The all day kind where you are spending more time with them than their parents or teachers do. The same issues are prevalent and only look different or are slightly intensified. The internet has been around since the 1970s. Having worked at a telecom company, I know a few things about the Internet. Yeah, it wasn’t in everyone’s pocket, but kids and teens are doing all the same things they always have. Boys and men have been looking at Playboy Magazines and watching porn as long as it has existed. Having brothers, I know a few things about boys I often wish I didn’t. And I’ve dated, a lot. Most of my friends were male in high school.

I have zero blinders on when it comes to the lives of teens. I experimented a lot when I was one. I had friends from every social group and class. Two of my friends came from an affluent family that gives scholarships. Other friends lived in the poorest neighbourhoods. I’ve been bullied, and I’ve saved other kids from bullies. I’ve been attacked on the street by older teens. I’ve been the only female in shop class. I once dated a drug dealer. Not so much on purpose, as I was naive before him, but I figured it out quickly. I’ve been cheated on. Friends and I would chat on ICQ with strangers and we didn’t chat about kittens. We watched porn on VHS when our parents were out. We partied. Dial-a-bottle brought liquor to us hassle free. Many had experimented with marijuana, mushrooms, LSD, and heroin. I lived in a city that was 1/18th the size of Ottawa. I walked in on a threesome at one party. I had friends who spent lunch hour blowing their boyfriends under the stairs. You can’t go under the stairs at that school anymore as they installed lockable storage areas after we went there. It’s to be torn down soon, actually. Many of my friends in high school were sexually active and kids were having sex in my Catholic primary school. It’s amazing I stayed a virgin until college when you think about it. My parents didn’t attend parent-teacher nights. I managed my own grades and it was fine that I was horrible in some classes because I just didn’t have an aptitude for math and my teacher wouldn’t explain anything. That isn’t everything I experienced while in high school. I never crossed a line that would put me in serious trouble with the law though.

If you work with kids and teens and think that the group you interact with is representative of all kids and teens on earth, you make an assumption. You don’t have enough information for it to be anything else. And they’re all individuals who respond differently to stimulus. You can’t one-size fits all and think you’ll truly reach them. And you REALLY can’t make a difference by ignoring reality. The real one, not your alt facts one. The reality that includes the fact that they are likely sexually active.

I don’t think it’s even okay to assume you know everything about your spouse regardless of how long you’ve been together. Why? Because people grow and change perspectives throughout their lives. It never hurts to ask if someone still loves a band before you buy concert tickets. Maybe they have a new band they want to see. Or maybe you want to try something new in the bedroom and get an awkward response. Maybe you caught them off guard and they need time to think about it. If someone says no today, that shouldn’t be thought of as “never”. Imagine if you assumed based on one no that your spouse never wants to have sex with you again. Yes, you should check with your spouse to see if they want to have sex rather than assume. Marriage doesn’t equal entitlement.

Stop assuming things about other humans. Be brave and get to know them properly. Ask them questions. Don’t launch personal attacks at them because you don’t like the evidence they’ve provided you. It’s a shitty thing to do. Be a better human.

Salut,

R~

Filed under: Writing

Merry Monday – Writing Accents

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I see a lot of articles written on the subject of writing. I used to gobble up every tip I read and studied them almost religiously. After reading a variety of books in all genres and writing my own book, I analyze tips more critically now. Tips like don’t write accents bother me.

These tips are never from the bestselling authors. Bestselling authors tend to give advice like keep trying, guard your writing time fiercely, read books of every genre and even non-fiction, find your voice, and whatever you do: be consistent.

Stephen King advises to minimize distraction by having no windows. Just sit your butt in the chair and get to it. No playing instruments and all the other fun stuff until you’re done working for the day.

King isn’t a fan of adverbs, but JK Rowling is. Whenever there is a difference like this, I look to Hemingway (though I haven’t found a book of his I like) and his thought that we should choose whatever word is best for the situation. So I will use only the adverbs that are necessary. Plus, writing is an artform and that means that you shouldn’t repeat yourself or have boring, predictable prose. Now you’re confused because earlier I mentioned being consistent. Well, I believe consistency speaks more to things like point of view, character traits/mannerisms/behaviour, speech patterns, etc. If you have a sentence that uses a contraction (don’t), it’s perfectly fine to have the long form (do not) in the next sentence to change things up a bit. Do it on purpose rather than out of habit.

Mark Twain advised to avoid using very. He said to put damn in its place and the editor will delete it and make your prose right. Very is supposed to intensify, but it comes off as though you don’t know better words. Very sad = morose. Very happy = ecstatic. Very attractive = gorgeous, voluptuous, etc. There is a general thought that suddenly is similar. Instead of surprising the reader, it is an unnecessary word. But if you’re writing for children, very and suddenly are words they should be exposed to as part of the goal is building their vocabulary. There’s always an exception to any “rule”.

Kafka talked about finding your unique voice. What separates you from other writers? You find your voice by writing and by knowing yourself. Life experience helps you find it too. Marketing wise, we also need to know which writers we are like if we expect to sell books.

JK Rowling says to use whatever time you have, loves planning, finds rewriting important, focuses on plot and pacing, and feels you should write what you’re passionate about. Many other authors don’t plan to a high degree and fix plot and pace issues during editing. Clearly there are a number of ways to go about things, though she IS a billionaire. I totally agree on the passion. If you’re not enjoying it, the reader probably won’t either.

King also says above all else, writers must be readers. Actually, King says a lot of things including don’t be boring. I think stating a character has a accent is boring. He never says not to write a character’s accent into the dialog.

Neil Gaiman says the key is finishing your stuff and being persistent. Again, nothing about accents.

I think it is woefully inadequate to simply state a character speaks with a accent. What if you have characters from around the globe? Your prose will get boring fast. What if you choose a more obscure accent that the reader doesn’t know? They’ll have to put your book down and head to YouTube to hear it or they may plod along not fully connecting with the character. If they head to YouTube and you haven’t hooked them yet, they’ll go down the YouTube rabbit hole and may not pick up your book again. On the flipside, you don’t need to have the thickest accent ever and can slightly alter a few words or use certain ones that are known to be associated with a particular nationality. If my character says, “Mon Dieu!”, you might get they are French from any number of countries and may have to look it up to know what they said. But if your character says, “Laddie, I don’ know what yer talkin’ about,” you can probably guess they are Scottish and understand what it being said. Simply saying someone sounds Scottish feels like passive writing to me. And people often have specific words they always say different. My dad has been in Ontario long enough that he doesn’t sound French anymore, except words that begin with TH he pronounces funny. Thompson he says the th like in that and has a very hard p sound. That sounds more like dat.

I’m not saying to go around writing characters that sound like a stereotype. Though, if writing a B-movie script or certain types of comedy that might be totally acceptable.

Grammar Girl suggests to write dialogue in such a way only when how they say something is important to you as the author. Then she goes on to discuss other things to consider like regional dialects when writing dialog. I tend to agree. There is a middle ground that is reasonable and a value add.

Here are some famous books that still widely read that use accents or strange dialogue: A Clockwork Orange, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Tom Sawyer/Huckleberry Finn, Trainspotting, and The Color Purple.

Here’s an idea: Instead of telling everyone else how to write, focus on your own work. With over 7 billion people on the planet, there’s not a “right” way to write a book.

Salut,

R~

Filed under: Writing Tagged: dialogue, Writing, writing tips [image error]