Garikai Nhongo's Blog

I did everything

 I did everything I was supposed to do

I led an unlikely band into a battle designed for loss

We battled beyond the strength we knew we had

And we won

Yet my victory was hollow

And feels like  loss instead,

I stand empty and broken

Unsure of myself.

Was any of it worth it?

Am I who I thought I was 

Can I put my pieces back together again?

The world didn't stand and applaud,

The accolade did not come

I wasn't the giant I expected to be among men

Instead I was broken

A shadow of my former self.

Don't give me hope

Thee pieces may never mend

Don't promise me joy

Because when you are broken in as many ways a I have

You never ome back again 

This is it

I am broken

A shadow of my former self 

Familiar Stranger

 I looked up just as she walked in,

Perfection,

She was the one I was waiting for,

Yet neither of us knew it,

I'd never seen her before,

Yet she seemed so familiar,

Like the stranger I've missed all my life,

A familiar stranger.

She looked back at me,

Mystery,

Her eyes betrayed the same thoughts,

The same hidden recognition,

She knew me, yet she didn't,

She missed me,

As I did her,

A perfect stranger.

Our eyes locked,

Excitement, 

I waved and she waved back,

She smiled and I smiled back,

I stood up and she turned to me,

She walked to me and I reached out,

Our hands touched

And I knew I'd been waiting for her.

We embraced,

Passion,

Not a word spoken but a meaning known,

Our hands locked and we danced,

We looked into each other's eyes

And held each other close,

The embrace lasted a lifetime

With a stranger strange no more.

The path I have coveted so

It's been a while since I last turned these pages,

Gosh it's been ages,

The pages were a compass for who I am,

A beacon to guide me time and again,

But of late they have become heavy,

My hands all to weary,

Or maybe I have grown afraid of what I will find,

Even though it all resides in my mind.

I'm afraid of who I may have become,

No, no, not who I have become,

Perhaps who I may become,

Not today's but tomorrow's someone,

And I fear not because I fear the worst,

But what is one to do when they may become the most,

The most of their hopes,

The hopes that one dared dream beyond hope.

Ah, this is a crossroads I wish to savour,

The culmination of my lifelong endeavour,

Yet it's scarier than I ever imagined,

More daunting than I've ever envisioned.

How can it be so frightful to near your dreams?

Your own dreams.

Perhaps now I will open the pages more,

And embrace the path I have coveted so. 

Faithless

My soul, my life, my heart,

Once one but now apart,

My faith, my dreams, my hopes,

Sliding down treacherous slopes,

Once in my life I was so sure,

That I was beholden to a divinity true and pure,

But now I know nothing anymore, 

Beyond life, is there much more?

I look into my soul and expect to see darkness,

But as my beliefs wave across dream's pathways,

I still see brightness,

I still feel brightness.

This means I can't be entirely lost,

That my essence is more than a ghost,

I feel I have gained by questioning my belief,

That my soul has let out a sigh of relief.

I am so much more for asking hard questions,

I am a deeper being for having reflections,

I fear that what we were told is not the only truth,

What really is the truth?

I stand convinced that I am on the right way,

Granted, I may no longer pray,

But I stand in my convictions today,

Faithless, as some may say.

I dreamed that I had died

I dreamed that I had died,

Not a soul stood by my side,

I was in a place no words can describe,

Yet I knew I was no longer alive,

I was no longer me nor was I was one,

I was with things yet to do and deeds done,

I was many people some I did not know,

The world was around me from above and below.

Noone explained this place to me,

Yet I felt like a place I should be,

I felt feelings I never knew,

And with time these feelings grew,

I shared the space with those I loved,

And that feeling grew as I moved,

Colours shone bright and new,

The ones I recognised were but a few.

I woke with a start,

As though my body and soul had been apart,

What I dreamt was beyond what I could comprehend,

My mind swirling in a bend,

I knew there was more to being,

More than heaven, hell, earth or what I was seeing,

I dreamed that I had died,

Not a soul stood by my side.

Source of life

A source of life,

Streaming through the windows,

Lighting up the walls,

Giving the trees a glow,

Oh, the trees,

Taking in the life source 

And giving back

What more could we ask for?

A burning blaze a million miles away

And a source of life here at home.

Tumbling down

It came in an unlikely way,

On a day like any other day,

One man sought to defy the norm,

And that deed torched the storm.

He riled and railed,

Fought and wailed,

He put flame to ceremony,

Torched decorum steeped in history.

The world watched, powerless,

They behind him shocked, speechless,

We knew then as we know now,

That what we knew was tumbling down,

That which held it together was no more,

Shaken like never before, 

It was tumbling down

All tumbling down.

The pandemic

We have seen death,

We have seen pain.

We live with sickness

We live in fear.

We need to keep hope,

For without hope, we are lost,

One million and more dead,

How many more will die?

The light flickers low

 We never thought it would get this far,

We thought we were safe,

We thought it was someone else's problem,

But now it burns all of us.

Millions have been buried,

Millions of funerals, millions of tears,

Families have cried and they still cry

Children left alone to grow before they are grown.

Even more lie in beds,

Not knowing if tomorrow they will cause tears

Or if they may go home 

To those they love.

When will this end?

There seems to be no end,

When is there joy?

There seems to be no joy.

The light flickers low,

For many, it has gone out,

We cry across the world and seek hope,

We are each others hope.

The girl who made the stars

That night had been as it was foretold,

Dark, quiet,

The moon had hidden itself from sight,

Even the animals gave way to night.

A single flicker danced in the night,

A flame. a fire,

With one girl dancing around it,

Her feet barely touched the ground.

The dance was as it was foretold,

One which no one had seen before,

Yet a dance they would all remember,

A dance we would all remember.

As she danced, those around her swayed,

Certain to make no sound,

They knew the time was to come,

The time that had been foretold.

The rest was as it had been foretold,

The dancing girl reached for the flame,

As her had touched the ashes they began to rise,

One by one, they rose,

Until thousands...no millions...rose to the sky,

Each flew higher than any man had been

Brighter than any had seen,

That is the day, the girl made the stars.