Abhik Chatterjee's Blog: CHATTERINGS...

Channeling your emotions

I have always liked to share...my experiences, my stories and my thoughts. I have seen a lot in my relatively short lifespan here on earth. I am neither that old nor that young, but the myriad of situations I have been through, qualify me for a semblance of preaching :-) It is not to say that other people are not going through or have not gone through shit in their lives. Everyone is fighting a battle. Nowadays, smiles count for nothing. Neither do tears. But what strikes me is the enormous power our emotions bear. They can move mountains, change the course of history or even change our lives, to begin with.

I always like to roughly divide emotions into four broad segments. Anger. Grief. Love. Joy.

Every other emotion is either a subset or a mixture of two or more of the above. It is easier to imagine the four emotions as offsprings of a powerful all-conquering warlord.

A dark brooding prince with a penchant for decimating everything in his path.A broken princess with tear stained eyes draped perpetually in white.A prince full of flair with the proverbial glass of wine in one hand and a beautiful rose in the other.A princess with the feet of an angel, gliding across a garden with a smile like sunshine.

This brings me to the main points in my discourse.

A sword...a seat of power and seething rage can be destructive or constructive, based on how it is channeled. Case in point Kublai Khan... the grandson of the feared Mongol ruler Genghis Khan was angered by his constant doubters and his cousins who challenged his claim to the throne or the “Khanate”. Embarking on an expansion project, he extended the Mongolian Empire beyond its existing boundaries. His empire stretched from the Pacific Ocean to the Black sea, from Siberia to what is now known as Afghanistan... and covered one fifth of the world’s then inhabited land. In 1271, Kublai established the Yuan dynasty, which ruled over present-day Mongolia, China, Korea, and some adjacent areas, and assumed the role of Emperor of China. By 1279, the Mongol conquest of the Song dynasty was completed and Kublai became the first non-native emperor to conquer all of China.

History is divisive about Kublai. Some view him as a mass murderer, a heartless man whose heart was set on expanding his empire. Others view him as a pioneer, a man who embraced secularism, cared about the dreams of his subjects, one who put the good of his empire above everything else.

What is fascinating to note however, is how Kublai channeled his anger to achieve things that had never been achieved by the Mongol dynasty before. I am not asking you to become Kublai :-) I am asking you to look at the magnitude of the achievements of a man who channeled his emotion towards achieving a sole outcome.

I can use the reference of Mother Teresa, who channeled her inner grief to establish the Missionaries of Charity, an organization that went on to receive international acclaim. Like Kublai Khan, Mother Teresa was also not beyond the reaches of controversy. But, again, the scale of her accomplishments has to be noted.

Men like Shah Jahan, who quantified love and transformed it into one of the wonders of the world is another example I can lay out for you. Faced with hurdles and obstacles and often resorting to extreme measures, driven by his love for his deceased wife, Mumtaz Mahal, Shah Jahan delivered to the world, a breath-taking and flawless tribute that would forever be a symbol of love...the world over.

Mona (Madame) Lisa Gherardini del Giocondo, the lady who inspired perhaps the greatest painting of all time and influenced Leonardo Da Vinci to come up with a stunning representation... The Mona Lisa...a lady whose history is shrouded with conjecture and myth. A perpetually smiling lady born in the Renaissance period, her complicated personal life lead her to Da Vinci who painted three versions of his master-piece, one over the other. What came out of it, is there for all to see.

All of us are special. We might not rule a country or build an architectural stunner or paint a legendary work of art or create a system to house the needy and the afflicted...but what we can do is channel our emotions to overcome the current obstacle or achieve a short-term goal. It is easier said than done. But to reach down deep inside and grab hold of what is bothering you or making you bounce through life and use it to shape your immediate future, can be one the hardest things to achieve.

If you are angry, prove to those who anger you, how wrong they are...

If you are sad, prove to those who sadden you, how happy you can be...

If you are in love, prove to those who love you, that you care for them like no one else can...

If you are happy, prove to those who doubt you, that you are the master of your own joy-ride...

Few things are as raw and as pure as emotions. We are lucky to be their wombs. Now, go and nurture them.

Words from the Dugout: Life on edge

People think that it is one big party. Sitting in the dugout watching the team play in front of you. Showing off. The best seats in the house.

Fans are envious. A bunch of fellows strutting about on the pitch with the players during the warmups. Dressed immaculately in joggers and club polos. Sporting Nikes or Pumas or Adidases. Sharing a laugh with the Coaches here and high-fiving a player there.

Well for starters...

It is difficult. Period. Blood, sweat and tears.

Let me start off by sharing an anecdote. I hope to share many more in the days to come.

NorthEast United FC was playing Chennaiyin FC at the Marina Arena in a game that was a must win for the former champions. For us, it was a game that we could not afford to lose at any cost. The game was a see-saw affair from the beginning. Chennaiyin opened the scoring via Dudu. We responded soon after with a blinding strike from our Argentinian, Nicolas Velez. Just before the half ended, Dudu was at it again, powering one past Subrata Paul. We responded after the restart via Velez : a first-time strike that was spilled by the Chennaiyin keeper. With the game heading towards a draw, Chennaiyin's Head Coach, Marco Materazzi, rolled his dice.

The crowd went crazy. It was as if God had made an appearance. Bernard Mendy, a Chennaiyin FC fan favourite was making an entrance. The fans gave him wings with their voices. A few minutes later, he passed a rapier through our hearts. Around the 80th minute, he spun away from our full-back and careened down the right. With time and space to pick his moment, he duly did so. A ball was played between the last defender and the goal-keeper. The striker Dudu caused panic. In all the confusion, the ball hit the keeper and the defender and then bounced off a diving Dudu's back. Quite excruciatingly, it then rolled into the net.

Sickness. I felt like vomiting. I smacked my hand against my chair. My admit band snapped and lay on the seat. Tears were almost making an appearance. I was thinking about the morose dressing room. The utter desolation and emptiness. Seeing the Chennaiyin FC fans delirious made me ill. 

I could hardly watch. I was gouging my eyes out. I was cursing everybody I could curse. I was screaming at the referee. I was remonstrating with the fourth official. I was remembering my late father in desperation, begging him to do me a favour from heaven...behaving irrationally.

In the 95th minute, Chennaiyin conceded a corner. Quite inexplicably, Velez ran to take it. Our usual corner kick taker, Yusa, stayed behind. Something felt strange. Something felt different. From the resulting corner that was delivered to the perfect spot between the keeper and the line of defence, Shouvik Ghosh, a man you would not expect to score for anything in the world, lost his marker, rose like a Phoenix and drilled the ball into the roof of the net.

I was perhaps the only one on the bench to realise what had happened. I ran across to the boys..onto the pitch, crossing the Chennaiyin bench on the way. I wept like a child. I sank to my knees and looked at the sky above and thanked my father. I looked around and saw Marco staring at us. I pumped my fists and let out a bellow. He turned away in disgust. I felt as if I had suffered a heart-attack. My chest was paining. I could not breathe. The full time whistle blew shortly after. The Chennaiyin players collapsed on the pitch. Some of them burst into tears.

This is a small glimpse into what we go through :-) If you want more of this, do let me know. I shall try and share some more interesting tales from time to time.

Love, 

AC.

 

 

Love is not enough sometimes...

When do you know that you have lost everything you imagined would help you sail through life and everything attached to it?

Most of us bank on love to see us through. It is our centre of gravity, our nucleus. We seldom recognise an existence without the cocoon created by love. It is thus painful when it all comes crashing down. Your life is filled with an edgy restlessness that refuses to dissipate. Generally, this is followed by a void, an insatiable vacuum that causes you to careen down a path of self-destruction. If you are surrounded by good friends, you might get lucky. But if you are on your own, you might damage yourself to an incurable extent.

What causes love to crack? For love is not impregnable in today's world. Love is not beyond doubt and love is never beyond illness. Transparency is the mother of love. It truly is. Make that your bible. Embrace it. Induct it into your soul. Lies corrode love like rust eats away at iron. Like plants, love needs nurture. Water it...watch over it and continue to nourish it. We often take love for granted. It is a fatal mistake. We often assume that words will be enough. They sometimes never are. Actions are a showcase for love. Actions are pillars of love. If you mean it, show it.

Pragmatism is heavily undervalued. Yet, it is love's steadfast companion. Dreaming is good, building castles is admirable...but futures are not constructed on willowy clouds of fantasy. Futures are bred on sound planning, sacrifice and teamwork. Futures are enforced by practicality. Have your feet on the ground...always.

Love has several friends. But perhaps, listening would be it's best friend. We are all caught up in our everyday razzle and dazzle. We are all wanting to emote, speak about ourselves and make people aware of our difficulties. However, only speaking shall never do you any justice. Listen...with rapt attention. Respond with genuineness. Participate in conversations. Open up to imbibing. Love just loves these little things.

Most of all, adopt hugs. Yes, the one that allows you to hold a loved one close to your chest...close enough to feel their heart-beats, take in their aura and convey passion. Use your hands to hold their backs and deepen the hold. Life is short and sometimes love is not enough. Atleast ensure that you have no regrets. That is the least you owe yourself.

Do we all suffer from some form of Alexander's Complex?

For my upcoming novel, Jack Dickens: Genesis, I delved deep into the life and times of Alexander the Great. He is an extremely popular historical figure, one who has been dissected and studied, discussed and debated upon...

He is controversial, unique, intriguing, magnetic and horrific. If I were to choose a candy to satisfy my taste-buds, I would probably ask for flavor Alexander. But my strange taste in candy is not the topic of discussion.

Do you:

a) Discover ways to impress your father and try your best to emulate him?

b) Find yourself attached to your mother and try and win her affection?

c) Find yourself supremely attached to a friend and deeply affected by the equation you share with him/her?

d) Suffer from a narcissistic complex?

e) Try and be nice to people because you are their boss and you want them to like you?

f) Burn with a desire to achieve something and sometimes end up not satisfied with what you have achieved?

g) Find yourself angry at times and do not know how to hold yourself back?

h) Find yourself being very emotionally attached to your pet?

If you find yourself agreeing with more than one of the points above...Congratulations !

You are afflicted with a complex that was borne by none other than the Emperor who conquered more of this world than anyone else.

More from me soon ;) 

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At last we roll :)

After two full nights of hard work, we are live :) My personal website was set up with the sole intention of acting as the one-stop official medium for all my communication. Additionally, it's pretty cool to have your own website these days :-P (Sometimes I like being a sheep following the herd).

My debut novel, "Jack Dickens: Genesis" is shaping up pretty well. Last minute edits, revisions, additions and hair-pullings are on in full swing. It is an exciting phase! I hope that it has an exciting culmination.

Manchester United seem to have rediscovered their kiddish and horny side of late. A team full of rookies are carving out the results that the senior team could not. This gives me a different sort of bliss. Almost orgasmic :)

I will try and be as regular as possible here. After all, it is cool to be regular :)

Cheers!

AC.