Arwa Stone's Blog, page 5
March 13, 2020
Friday Night Frights 2
Chapter 2
Heather scrolled down the appointment diary wondering if her first patient of the day will show up. A knock on the door pulled her attention away from the diary.
“Come in.”
Sarah, an assistant manager at Roots Opticians, smiled nervously at her.
“Hi, Heather, your first patient just called in sick.”
“Okay, thanks Sarah.”
She walked in and brushed her red curly hair behind her left ear.
“I tried to find Samantha Cox-White’s and Richard Reading’s record cards, but couldn’t find them. They were both here in June of last year and are overdue on their sight tests.”
“Okay, thanks for looking.”
“You’re welcome.”
She closed the door behind her.
Heather pulled her handbag over her shoulder, noted down the two names on a Post-It note and made her way into the lab, which is also called the filing room. Grace and Liz greeted her as she walked in. ABBA were singing Mama Mia on the radio. While Grace had her back turned filing away at the Gs drawers and Liz was on her phone, she pulled an almost empty drawer open, and placed the jar of blue eyes behind a wad of files. It was the last S drawer. Standing up, she straightened her white shirt and pretended to look for the Samantha Cox-White’s file.
“Can I help you with anything?” Grace asked.
“Oh no, it’s okay. Sarah tried to find these files earlier, but couldn’t find them.”
“I can have another look. You never know. Fresh eyes and all that.”
“Ah, alright.”
She handed her the Post-It note.
While testing her next patient, all she could think about were fresh eyes.
March 6, 2020
Friday Night Frights 1
The colour of the water changed from red to pink to clear. Turning the tap off, Heather dried her hands on a couple of hand towels. A fruit knife lay drying on the table near her.
She turned towards her patient, pulled the body feet first into a bin bag, folded her body at the waist and tied the top of the bag with a couple of knots.
Next, she placed her patient's eyes in a recycled pickled onion jar. They barely floated up towards the top. Heather wrinkled her nose at the smell of formaldehyde. She hid the jar in her black fold-over handbag.
The clock on the monitor read 1:45 PM. She smiled at her accomplishment. This was her earliest kill. She grabbed the bin bag and walked quickly towards the fire exit stairs. A large Sainsburys truck blocked her view and hid her from the crowds on North Street. She jogged towards a large black bin and hauled the bag with both hands over the top.
Her heart beat fast and her stomach rumbled. Lunch time. The only time she'd ever felt anything. At all. Other than the thrill and peace of hunting down her next victim. Recently, it's been more plotting than hunting since her victims tend to come to her. Perks of an optician.
She took her time walking back up the stairs. Back in her testing room, she removed a thermos from her bag and a pair of chopsticks. Spicy noodles gave her so much joy. Or what she thought was joy. It was the only type of carbs she ate. Today she ate it with chicken and broccoli. A pair of blue eyes stared out at her from her handbag. Cold and beautiful. Just like her face.
February 17, 2020
Get Your Power Back 2
Balance is something I've been incorporating into my busy and stressful work days. For example, Tuesdays tend to be quite busy at work and I have a lot of catching up to do. I've made Tuesday nights super chill nights to Netflix and Snacks. On Saturdays, I do the same. (I work Tuesdays to Saturdays.) I know complete life balance is impossible, so take this with a grain of salt.
If I've had an especially tough day, I give myself another chilled evening. I would light a candle, read a book or write. Sometime I indulge in a bit of chocolate, use a face mask or meditate. Whatever helps me relax and be more in the present.I guess that also falls under self-care and self-love.
There are days or nights where I'd banish screens and loose myself in a book.
What do you do to relax or achieve a semblance of balance?
Wonder Woman XXX
January 31, 2020
Daily Confessions 15
I've been contemplating all sorts of things. My day job. Why I write. My future as a home owner (Very Future). Despairing over my choices, I started catching up with my previously neglected reading. Don't get me wrong, I love to read. Three books down, I found myself knee deep into Caitlin Doughty's Smoke Gets In Your Eyes. Her YouTube channel Ask A Mortician is amazing.
I started reading Frankenstein by Mary Shelley wondering if I'd even read it before. I didn't recognise this edition. It’s really good. At chapter three, I couldn't help but want to write like that.
In the midst of having some time off, ideas for books and short stories flooded my overactive imagination. So many stories, not enough time. I'm sure that's also the source of my nightmares, and daymares. And more likely the source of all my anxieties.
Today I'm going to write a lot. That's what I tell myself. My hand isn't fast enough for everything that I want to spill out of my brain and onto an empty page. Nevertheless, I'm excited to continue Eva's unfortunate love life and battles to come.
I will leave you with your thoughts. Have a good day.
XXX Wonder Woman
January 1, 2020
A New Year 2020
The new decade is here. The longest and darkest month is here. The unrelenting rain is here.It's easy to slip into melancholy during this time of the year. It's important to remember that spring is only around the corner. The sun will rise earlier. The days will lengthen. Storms will come and go.
I love a fresh start. A blank page. An opportunity to create something new. I intend to write on a regular basis. Track it, and complete The Moon Chronicles. I'm excited to start writing a new book.
I also intend to read more/listen to more books. I also hope to tell you about it with more reviews.
I also want to create more art.
Anyway, I can keep telling you what I want to do. The main thing is, do things that make you happy. Be kind to yourself and others. Practice self-care.
Have a good day. XXX
Wonder Woman
December 22, 2019
Daily Confessions 14
November 28, 2019
Daily Confessions 13
I'm watching an episode of Women of Impact on YouTube. It's called Don't Allow Yourself To Be Quieted, Step Into Yourself. It's fascinating.
Earlier today, I came across an apple pie at Sainsburys. I faltered for a minute, wondering whether I should get it now or closer to Xmas. 🎄
I stopped myself when negative thoughts related to my body image came into my mind. Thoughts like I'm going to gain weight, I'm getting chubby, other people will judge my body and assume that I eat crap, etc.
I changed my thoughts ASAP. People will think whatever they want to think. I value the relationship with myself. I'm also on the path of getting my power back. You can read the blog post I wrote the other day called Get Your Power Back Part 1.
I bought the apple pie and Madagascan vanilla custard. 😂
It was delicious!
I feel like I'm evolving as a person who is becoming a better version of myself. I don't know if it's aging or embracing being more me, being more authentic. I value authenticity more these days in the way I communicate. I'm starting to feel a bit more empethatic towards myself. It's a start. That's enough about me.
What about you? How do you value yourself?
November 25, 2019
Surviving A Workplace Bully
This blog post is a mixture of a rant and a way of getting it out of me. Storytime on a Monday evening.
On a snowy April morning, I was nervous about my interview. It went well and I was offered the job on the spot. It was an optician's. However, I noticed that Manager R*'s behaviour changed immediately. He spoke to me in a harsher way. I didn't know what to think of that.
As the weeks and months went by, he started to be antagonistic towards me and blame me for other people's mistakes. I couldn't defend myself because I needed the job.
There was a day when all the frame stock needed to be counted. A certain co-worker was doing that job. He came all the way upstairs, stood on a stool and shouted down at me that I'm upstairs and not helping that co-worker, while they're struggling to get that job done.
I couldn't say anything, tried not to cry and feel like a kid.
I'm sure other things happened, but I can't remember them.
I made mistakes as a newby trying to learn the job. Here is another incident. I was prescreening a px before she went to have her eye test and I showed the results to the optometrist. She saw it and frowned. Then she showed it to him. She said that the decimal point looked like a 1. He turned around on the spot and said,
"You're fired."
The optometrist was shocked. I was rooted to the spot. Then I turned around, pouted at him and returned to my job.
There was a time when I was quite new and I'd made a mistake, can't remember what. I ran upstairs to the loos to cry in a stall, when I passed by the store's overall manager and let the door bang shut behind me instead of holding it open for him.
Later on, I managed to stop crying and went back to work to find that manager talking to Manager R *. Manager R* later on told me that he talked to him about me and my customer care; how bad it was because I let the door shut in his face. Manager R* said that I would be reviewed in 3 months to see if they would keep me on.
That really pissed me off. I think I probably cried in the prescreening area, in the dark. 😂
OK, this is sounding depressing. 😂
Have you come across a workplace bully? Let me know. I'd love to hear your experiences.
*I really needed that support and didn't get it. That experience was awful in more ways than I can describe. It still feels traumatising in a way. That ringtone for the phone back then sends me straight back there. I'm going to name him here and put this behind me. Manager R * is Richard.
I don't expect him to apologise any time soon.
Wonder Woman
XXX
Get Your Power Back Part 1
I've been thinking about the times when I felt that I gave my power away; when I felt undervalued or affected by someone else's words.
For the last several years, I've spent time getting to know myself. Recently, I've dived deeper. Every day, I've been practicing being present, choosing happiness over reacting to annoying things and my co-workers moodiness, especially Manager X*. I've gotten better at dealing with challenging situations at work instead of taking things personally or letting anxiety take over. I'm not perfect at all and take each day as it comes.
Manager X* is not a bad man. He reacts in a stressful way to every day work challenges. His emotions; grumpiness, antagonism, micromanaging (not an emotion) 😂 and at times bullying behaviour affects everyone. His emotional backlashes are predictable. I only realised that when I asked myself why I let him affect me negatively, where I'd get anxious and sometimes upset. Making grown people upset at work of all places is unacceptable. When I feel that way, I'd make myself invisible, almost transparent hoping that I wouldn't be noticed.
Anyway, I noticed that I let him make me feel that way. I gave away my power. How do I get it back?
Hence begins the journey. The first step is Get to know yourself. I've been practicing self-care, self-love and being creative. This is an ongoing process. I will update you on my journey.
Take care!
Wonder Woman XXX
Manager X*: This is my current manager and won't be named.
November 23, 2019
Daily Confessions 12
I'm nibbling on cookies and watching the SacconeJolys. It's been a frustrating day. Not all of it, just the last 2 hours of it. It was kinda stressy. I'm glad I'm home, chilling out and so ready to go to bed. It's only 6.13PM. 😂
I really can't be bothered to make dinner. I think I will get some writing done. 😊 Possibly some reading too.
What do you do to calm down and relax?
Christmas has arrived at work with gigantic baubles. Christmas music is taking over and crowds of people are taking over the isles.
Do you like and enjoy Christmas? My workmate doesn't care for it and keeps saying bah humbug! 😂 It cracks me up. I call her the Grinch.
What do you like about this time of year and what don't you like?
I'm loving Xmas films, fuzzy blankets, candles, treats, Xmas shop windows, moody skies and delicious hot drinks.
I'm not loving the darkness that Winter has brought with her. Although, with all the Xmas lights and festivities, it's hopeful. Getting up in the morning is getting harder. The regular rain is annoying. I don't mind the cold.
Practicing gratitude every day helps a lot with all that I've mentioned.
I'll leave you for now with a better blog post tomorrow. Take care! 😘
Wonder Woman
XXX
