Allison Hurd's Blog, page 20

Talking To Myself: You’ll Never Believe What I Say Next!

An author friend of mine was talking to me about how weird it is that these characters get so real that they become their own people.  And I was like…no, it’s not weird. I just have something like six people who currently live in my head and aren’t me, but it’s cool, I’m not using all that space to its full potential anyways, so they can reside there until I need it.  They’re not alive.  I’m not making golems here (note to self: investigate making golems).

What’s so strange about that?  I MEAN, COME ON, Jessica.

So, to prove how very stable I am, I would like to present you with conversations I’ve had with Summer and Lia off-camera.

Scenario One–In Which I Desire Them To Say or Do Something They Wouldn’t Prefer:

Summer: Yeah that’s not happening.

Lia: Agreed. It is so far off the table that I think I may have thrown it in a lake.

Me: But come on.  I need you to change your reaction just a smidge so this next part makes sense.

Summer: Me change? You change.  It’s my fuckin’ life.

Lia: And if you think I’m that dumb, I will slaughter you, and scribe Pi to the eighteenth place from memory with your blood.

Me: Well, fine.  I will just tell a different story.

Summer: You are wise, grasshopper.

Scenario Two–In Which I Am Curious How They Became Prone to Dramatics:

Summer: Seriously? You stole Lia’s childhood.

Me: Oh, right. I guess that–

Summer: And then you sent me to–

Me: ALL RIGHT, I get it. Sorry. Please mope as you see fit.

Lia: I know what bat guts smell like now. Can I mope, too?

Summer: …

Me: …

Me: Is that a recent thing or…?

Summer: Please don’t ask her, I  don’t want to know if–

Lia: I cleaned it up. But Summer, I may have bleached your new sun dress.

Summer: GOD DAMMIT.

Scenario Three–In Which Lia Explains How She Creates Curses

Me: I need you to say something colorful.

Lia: Yellow, heliotrope, aqua.

Me: No, like I need to put an oath you would say into this spot here.

Lia: Why? What happened?

Me: Well–no. Stop doing that! I’m not going to tell you what will happen, then your reaction won’t be genuine.

Lia: But you want me to give you an oath for it ahead of time.

Me: …Yeah.

Lia: Well, I can’t just make one up.  I have rules about them and they’re specific in severity and type to the situation–

Me: I will take you for the biggest chocolate ice cream ever if you just tell me one.

Lia: …How big?

Me: [shows picture]

Lia: (in awe) Mother of meticulous manscaping…I want that so bad.

Scenario Four–In Which They Make Jokes Inappropriate To The Situation

Summer: Is…I’m not sure I follow.  Is there a set protocol for appropriate humor when you’re fighting mythical creatures of primordial horror?

Me: Well, no, not exactly, it’s just that most people don’t generally…you know…joke at a time like that.

Summer: So, then…what do they do?

Me: Well, I mean, I don’t have much direct experience but I’m told that mostly it’s like…you know, very tactical.

Summer: Are you backseat banishing us here?

Me: No, I wouldn’t ever try to tell you how–

Summer: Because if you are, I will stuff you in a box…

Me: I really don’t think that’s possible…

Summer: And put you on a boat…

Me: Not where I saw that going… (hang on, HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT COMING?!)

Summer: To the small land mass surrounded by water with all the treasure.

Me: …

Lia: …

Summer: You know, X-Isle.

[Summer and Lia high five]

~-~-~-~

And there you go. Threatened by my own mind-roomies. What a life.

Memorial Day Book Sale

Happy Memorial Day if you’re from the States and Happy Bank Holiday if you’re in the UK!  The First One’s Free is free today, so you should download it!  This is the book that I made darker, funnier, shorter and more fleshed out, and I think it hits a pretty good balance.  We learn a lot about Summer and get a good look at how she and Lia find jobs.  If you liked Feeding Frenzy, you’ll enjoy some back story.  If you haven’t pulled the trigger yet on Feeding Frenzy, you will at least be able to kick the tires on the series a little, and I hope you like it!

On a less promotional note, this is the holiday in the United States where we remember those who have given their lives for us, and I wanted to thank my friends and family who have risked everything for my ability to stay comfortably home, and for soldiers worldwide.  May is also Mental Health month, so I hope you check in with your friends from the service.  A little contact can be a lifeline to those suffering depression, anxiety or PTSD.  These are normal conditions for humans, especially humans who’ve seen traumatic things, so if you’re suffering, please, please make that first step.  Tell someone you need help.  Life does not have to be drudgery.  The various treatments for invisible ailments are at their all-time best right now, and getting better constantly.  We see your struggle, and we value you.  Don’t give up!

Here are some crisis numbers if you’re having a tough time.

Thanks, all.  Be strong, be well, be safe!

 

 

Sneak Previews!

It has been nonstop rain here for what feels like, and may well be, an entire month.  So much so, that everyone left early Friday from work because it was nice out for like three straight hours and nobody could stand it.  It is currently keeping me from some essential landscaping I need to do at my house, and so I am writing oodles.  Sacrifice is about a page or two from having twelve of its twenty chapters written–I think I can say that I intend to have it out late fall, possibly even in time for Halloween, which would be cool.  I took a small break from writing for awhile to edit the first half, and it’s shaping up pretty well, if I say so myself.  You be the judge though.  If, however, you have NOT read Feeding Frenzy, you can find the excerpts for that here.  Here’s an excerpt from Sacrifice:

We arrange ourselves as comfortably as we can on the lumpy cushions on the floor with probably a hundred ghosts all judging us and/or wafting through us, and Celeste lights one candle to illuminate her séance room.  Why have all the others, then?  I think she’s trying to impress us.  Lady, you gotta get up earlier than that to earn my awestruck respect.  Celeste puts out her hands for us to take, and Lia and I hesitantly form the circle, bowing our heads as if we expect our host to say Grace.

“Spirits, gather,” the conjure woman commands.  The light from the candle dims, and ice films the window nearest us.  A whistling note permeates the space—this is the sound of dozens of spirits all crying out to be heard across the veil.  I shiver involuntarily.  Okay, maybe she got up earlier than I thought, because this show does strike me.  This woman is damn good at her job.  Most of the séances I’ve seen require incantations and supplications and bribes.  Celeste just had to call the room to order.

“Spirits, be still.”  The whistling dies down.  She’s like the dolphin trainer of ghosts.  “I am requesting a guide for these two mortals to the bayou.”  She waits again and the whispering grows so strongly that it creates a slight wind that picks at my red-streaked hair.  “No, not the entire bayou.  The spot where the monster took the kids.”  The whispering slows down, as if all of the ghosts are thinking very carefully about this decision.  “And it’d be best if whoever takes this mantle can also manifest, and manage to speak some.  You will be leading the sheep, my lambs, and they could use a little…help.”  She squeezes my hand in her surprisingly strong grip.

Why is she being so passive aggressive?  What could I possibly have done to her in the twenty-four hours I’ve known of her existence?  I remember Lia’s admonition.  I really do have to stop treating everything like a threat.  If I don’t, I’ll end up hurting someone innocent by accident.  I take a deep breath and brainstorm other possibilities.  Maybe she’s just lacking in social graces, because, hey, death isn’t the end for her.  If I die right here, we could still talk it out tomorrow.

The room goes very still.  Not many spirits are strong enough to push the veil far enough to be seen and heard by people without the gift.  I’m not sure what’s on their side of things, but it’s very much against letting whatever it is come back to our side of things.  And yes, of course I’ve asked what’s on the other side.  The answers so far have been inconclusive.  Ghosts, mediums, and their ilk either don’t agree, or are largely big lying liars what lie.

“Don’t be shy, now.  Lisette?  That’ll do nicely.  What’s that?  Okay, I’ll ask.”  The conjure woman looks at us.  “She wants to be reassured that she won’t get banished for her troubles.”  Ophelia and I exchange looks.  Granting immunity, even to informants, runs counter to our instincts. 

“Think we can wrangle that,” I relent.

“All righty then.  Thank you Lisette, for stepping up.  Thank you, spirits for your attention, guidance and communion.  I now release you.”  She waves her hands nonchalantly, like she’s shoo-ing flies.  The room warms back up, the candle returns to its normal height, and I choose to believe no one’s staring at me anymore.

“So, now what?”  Lia asks, looking around for our spirit guide.

“Lisette will wait for you outside.  She’s preparing herself to appear to you, and she says that’ll be easier for her out of doors.”  The conjure woman shrugs.  “I think it’s sort of like cookin’ in your own kitchen.  Everything’s easier when you’re not a guest at the same time you’re tryin’ to host.”

Not knowing much about hosting or kitchens ourselves, we take her word for it and head back downstairs for our things before heading back out into the fading daylight.

“Man, you really rattle ol’ Celeste’s cage, don’t you,” Lia mutters once we’re out of earshot.

“Why!  What’d I do?  Did I use a bad word by accident?”

“Not that I noticed.  It’s probably just your face.”

“You mean, like, she’s jealous of my overwhelming good looks?”

“H…here…” a breathy voice hisses from behind us.  Lia and I spin, weapons half drawn, defensive positions assumed before we realize it’s our ghostly guide materializing before us.  She is dressed in fashion from the 1700’s I’d guess, her big, layered skirt at odds with the cars just beyond her in the driveway.

“Oh, Jesus.  You scared us, Lisette.  Sorry about that.  You say you can show us where Celeste saw the monster?”

A brief nod.

“Care to tell us about the thing we’ll find there?”  Lia asks.

Lisette’s apparition flickers to the side a step, like she’s jumped in fright.  Her face shows fear, anger, and sorrow in quick succession, as if we’re staring at her through a strobe light.

Finally, she drifts close to us, her emotions once more hidden behind the mask of ethereal projection.

“Only death,” she whispers.

——————

Also, I maybe sort of started another book.  This one is not in The Summoner Sisters at all and is in fact a regular old fantasy story.  Don’t worry–I’ve been working on a version of this book since I was twelve and it hasn’t ever been finished so I’m sure I’ll be able to keep it from interfering with the six-and-a-half other books I’ve promised to write in this series.  But, I like the beginning of this new book very much, and so I thought I’d share it:

Isqan One-Eye was about to resume being the only person alive who knew he had two eyes.  A one-eyed thief was memorable, perhaps, but less so than the truth: that his eyes were horrifically mismatched and that he really didn’t need them to be good at his work anyway, because his success was largely due to his ability to read minds and to sway them; another fact whose secrecy he was about to ensure.

“Hellspawn,” thought the panicking jeweler in his grip.  Isqan couldn’t help but see himself as he truly was when he projected himself into other people’s minds.  He never saw himself as either black-eyed Isqan, the grim killer, or blue-eyed Donny, the hapless stevedore, both of whom tragically lost a different eye in two very different accidents, so the stories went. He was always himself, which is to say he was Donisqan with two working eyes, and a talent that marked him for death, whether his work was honest or not.

So there you go!  Two excerpts for the price of zero!  What a bargain!

IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT: A rant

Today’s post is brought to you by a hapless Buzzfeed “article” about self-defense.

I’ve got a thing about realism in books.  I can totally buy that there’s a dragon who enjoys musicals, or that there’s a new sort of spaceship that moves faster than the speed of light and runs on anti-photons or whatever, but people who say things that people don’t say, or worse, who engage in combat like drunk sock-puppets will ruin it for me.

Here’s a list of things characters say that destroy my suspension of disbelief now:

“I’m not who you/they/she think(s) I am.”
“I got outta that life/game a long time ago.”
“Forget everything you know.” (GOD even writing this makes me mad! How could you forget everything, and how could you INSTANTLY LEARN something that isn’t based on anything you already know?!)
“You’re not like everyone else.”
“I’ve got the high ground Ani!”
“I don’t like sand.”

FOOP! Now I’m just writing things from the prequel Star Wars trilogy.  Reel it in, Allison.

Here are fighty things that drive me batty:

People who have trained, like, a day and are now Batman.
Badasses who can’t take any hits.
Using unnecessary flourishes in fights.  We can’t all be Daredevil or Zorro, as sad as that makes me.

Okay.  I think that is it.  For now. I reserve the right to find more nits to pick.  We’re re-filming part of the interview for the Person of Interest segment, and so it is delayed.  Alas.  In the meantime, we can all practice forgetting everything we think we know so we can be different from everyone else and become Batman by lunch.  Your mission is before you.

 

Holy you-know-what how did it get so late on Sunday! I...

 

Holy you-know-what how did it get so late on Sunday!  I don’t have the next Person of Interest ready for you yet, because I think I have a cosmic block on my ability to video edit.  Seriously.  My eighth grade powerpoint presentation had better transitions and effects than my first adult attempt at cutting parts of footage.  Luckily, I know people who are good at it.  Unluckily, they’re also quite busy.  It’ll be here, eventually, anyways, and it’ll be great.

Other than that, Sacrifice is plodding along.  I’m almost at 42,000 words and about half-way.  I keep thinking (or being suggested) new awesome stuff to include, which is great, but also stretches out my word count.  This book is gonna be able to eat Feeding Frenzy whole, I think. I hope I don’t pull a Rowling and get roped into telling longer and longer stories as I go.  Listen to me, stories.  We’re going to stay in a manageable range.  Don’t get ideas.

P.S. We just went to Gettysburg and it’s really worth seeing, though horrifically depressing.  I highly recommend you check it out.  It’s also quite the ghost town, in that a large amount of its population is ghosts, so if you’re into lantern-lit ghost tours, put this on the list.  Meanwhile, I will probably put it into a story….

Apparently everyone was a general for a day.

 

Lookin’ for Books. AKA Book Me

Hello all! We’re taking another week off before the final installment (I hope just one more week! Video editing is rough) of the Persons of Interest series. In the meantime, I’m reading books! Apparently it’s cool now to read physics for fun, but I haven’t gotten that cool yet, so what’s your favorite fiction! I’m amassing a small book army on Goodreads but I’m not sure which to pick next.

I think my favorite books, in no particular order are:

The Once and Future King by TH White.  Okay, this one is first on purpose. It is my all time favorite.

Seriously. You need to read this.

Harry Potter series by JK Rowling

The Lord of the Rings series by JRR Tolkien

The Abhorsen series by Garth Nix

Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier

The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson

The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher

The Giver by Lois Lowry

The Dragonriders of Pern series by Anne McCaffrey

His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman

What do you think? What are your favorites, and what should I read next?

 

Yes, I totally read books with a laptop (and/or cat) perched on my knees.  No, I don’t normally read them with the Scout’s Honor technique.

Person of Interest: Adventurous Jill of All Trades

Continuing our month of interviewing exceptional people, today we’re talking to the talented, the wonderful Debbie Casey who is a traveler extraordinaire, the business manager of Wall & Wall, a mural company, and a consultant for Arbonne.  We’ll be talking a little bit about travel, pursuing art as a career, and what people should know about skin care so that their manticore scars don’t ruin their lives in the summer.  So thank you, Debbie, for being with us today.

Thanks for having me!

You’ve been all over the place, where are you right now?

I live in the San Francisco Bay area, which is really a place that I’ve gotten to calling home in the last year.

 

And have you lived anywhere else?

I was in Asia.  I lived and worked in Bangkok, Thailand.  I was there for about two and a half years and it’s a great, great place in the world to go visit. I lived in New York City for ten years and I have also spent pretty extensive stints in London and then I also grew up in Northern England.

So which of all of these places do you feel like most connects with you?

I would have to say it depends on where I’m at spiritually in my life.  I think that the choices that I made to be in the places that I did made sense at that time in my life.  For example, I’ll be forty next year and I could not see myself moving back to a place like New York City, which was perfect for my twenties and early thirties.

[Laughs] So, you say you move around when it feels right.  What is it about travel that is fulfilling really?

I think for me it is the sense of exploration and the sense of understanding other cultures–other ways of living outside of what we know to be the norm, what we grew up with.  I love getting to know people from all over the world. I’ve been very lucky to have the opportunity to be somewhat of a veteran traveler from all the way back when I was a little girl and I sort of just never stopped.

 

 

Would you say that it is easy to travel to all these different places for you?

For me?  Yeah. I mean there’s a sense of excitement and wonder when I book a ticket, thinking, what am I going to see? Or, who am I going to meet?  I also feel that there’s a difference between traveling to a place and moving to a place.

 

Sure.

The biggest difference for me is when you move some place, then your thoughts have to be different.  You’re moving into a space where you have to figure out where you’re going to work and where you’re going to live and the crowd you’re going to hang out with…it brings a different sense of being.

Are there things that you’ve found make it easier for you to orient yourself in a new space?  How do you make it feel like home when you’re exploring new things and new ideas?

Well I think that technology has bridged a lot of those gaps.  I’m not really one to pick up a guide book and sift through it.  I’ve traveled extensively by myself and with companions and I tend to be the one not to prepare so much.  I think a little preparation works wonders but for my joy and surprise I actually like to show up to a place without having so much preparation.  But, going back to your question I do use technology and I do use online resources to figure out where people are and where people go like meetup.org has always been sort of a big community to me to tap into.

 

It sounds like for you, home is where you can have an experience? So you feel like you have a connection to where you are and the rest you can figure out.

I mean I’m just a natural explorer and I get so excited being some place new, and just showing up, making that commitment to being open minded to whatever you come across and whatever you see, I think, really is key for any traveler.

 

So do you have any good war stories about traveling that you want to share?

I don’t know about war stories but I definitely have some fun stories that if you were in those situations might raise the hair on your neck.  I remember when I was traveling through India, a while ago now.   My travel friend and I spent a week traveling in the Delhi area before we went down to Kolkata and we hired a driver, went to see the Taj Mahal and all that. What you don’t realize is when you go to countries like this–especially in Asia–there is a certain type of organized chaos that happens on the streets of these parts of the world that as a westerner is very disconcerting and frightening. But it’s how they do things and it works. The streets are just bustling with cars and tuk tuks and motorcycles and animals and people…cars weave in and out and the animals for the most part just stand in the street. It works!

But this one story is when we were being driven to our next destination and we were going on a freeway against the traffic.  And there were cows we nearly hit! I even said to the driver, “Are you okay?”  He said, “Oh yes, fine, fine!” And at that point I just kind of went with it. I just trusted that if I was going to be okay then that was the way it was meant to be and if I wasn’t, that’s also the way it was going to be.

 

Oh, my gosh. Moving to something a little less life-threatening I hope, you are the business director for a company called Wall & Wall.  Can you tell us a little bit about what Wall & Wall does?

Sure.  We are a mural painting business, but it goes beyond that.  We actually design and hand paint customized murals inside of commercial spaces and private homes, event spaces, restaurants, retail stores etc.  There are a lot of spaces within San Francisco that are these cavernous floors that can seem very empty even with people in it. A lot of these companies are finding ways to provide inspiration, and also incentivize people to stay longer, to work longer hours in order for these companies to get up off the ground.  What we bring to the table is this idea of bringing inspiration in that space, allowing people to connect more.  So there’s an aspect of space design that we go into.  We think about the psychology behind color and the positioning of it and the design.  And we have fun doing it.

 

It sounds fun!  So obviously you guys are doing pretty well, the fact that it’s not just a lone artist eking out and getting this done.  You have murals in all sorts of high profile buildings.  So you’re making art professionally.  What is it that you think propelled this business?

I only come at this from experience now that I have done this–I can’t speak for anyone else–but I do believe that the success of a really great business is delegating the responsibilities of the business to people who are really good at what they do.  At the end of the day what I really love to do is to network and assist in the growth in something I truly believe in.  And the other side of it, my business partner has this incredible talent with design and art and it needs to be seen.  I say that not in an egotistical way at all. It’s a very beneficial part of our society, art.  It allows us to dream.  It helps us to be inspired and transcend ourselves, even for a moment.  The fact that we both get to do it professionally and put it out there for other people is really kind of special.  But yeah, I would say, sort of what makes it successful is when you’ve got people who are very passionate about what they do.

What’s your favorite part of the process when you’re looking at a new job?

So I think my favorite part in the process is when the client gets to see their design on the wall.   We had a big, high profile client recently that I did sign a nondisclosure agreement, so I can’t name them… We finished a project for them recently and they looked at it and they said, “ This is literally the coolest room on this floor.” I think when we get feedback like that we feel that we’re doing something really good here.  We’re also very excited about working with nonprofits.  We just finished a project an organization called the Peninsula Crisis Resolution Center and they have an after-school program called Youth for Change. The local kids for the high school in the area get together and talk about topics that are relevant in their community and amongst their peers.  We just finished a project for them recently and they get to put it up around different municipal buildings around town.  It’s wonderful to give back to the community.

 

Is there anything that you wish maybe that you had known before taking this position?  Or advice you would like to give perhaps to someone else hoping to get their dream out there?

I think the biggest lesson that I’m taking from this experience is to never quit. You never know, something around the corner the next day will have been the thing that made it pop.  Lessons that I wish I had known? As you muddle your way through new adventures, inevitably we do something for the first time, right? So I would say that the lessons that I have learned have come along through trial and error. We just try to do things differently or better the next time around. I would say that the biggest piece of advice would be don’t hold back on spending money to do things that will grow your business. You have to spend a little to get back a lot.

Right, you can’t get something from nothing. Whether that’s the materials for your mural painting or the wonderful new cover David Berg just made for me. So you have another sort of interest, too. You’re a consultant for Arbonne. Do you want to tell us a little bit about what makes Arbonne different from the other cosmetics companies out there?

Arbonne is a company I was introduced to about three years back. I saw the value of making money from an expense I was already making–washing my hair, brushing my teeth. I just saw the sense in making money from that and recommending things that I know work really well. It’s a company that has a lot of integrity. What I love about these products over countless number of products I’ve tried in the past is that everything is botanically based, enhanced by science. None of the chemical nasties that you would normally find in the Main Street/High Street stores and everything is 100% vegan. And everything is treatment based. So we have products that are great as a line for cancer patients and people who have gone through radiation. There’s a lot of thought that goes into the ingredients and the creation of the products. As a consultant I get to really understand how to help people. The other thing I love about it is the people that are involved. It’s a type of industry that attracts very positive and inspiring people.

So, as a consultant, what are the kinds of things you think people do that really damages their skin? What can they do to fix that without going to a spa every day?

So there’s really three things that you should be doing to maintain and to take care of your skin.  Sunscreen. Sun is the biggest component for aging. Of course, what you put into your body is equally as important, but just talking skin, you wanna make sure you’re wearing sunscreen. Anything up to 30 spf is fine. A lot of people think that using 70 sunscreen is going to protect you more than the 30 but if you look at the ingredients you understand 70 is no better than a 30. In fact, the 70 is going to have manufactured chemicals that are building up toxins in your body that you don’t need.

Moisturizer. Moisturize, moisturize. That is so important and that’s another way to keep your skin supple and young. And then exfoliating is also very important. Your skin cells build up and die and slough off but you want to give it a little bit of help because you have that new beautiful skin underneath.

 

Say someone has skin damage already. Either from the sun or as some of us have done in the past you get a cut, you go out and now you have this lovely scar. Is there anything that people can do to counteract the damage they’ve done?

Yes and no. There are some scars and some things about the skin that will be with you for life.  If I’m being quite frank some of these scars that you see are good storytelling tools, right? But on the flip side, with the idea that skin damage is a very real concern, obviously prevention is better than a cure.  But if we’re talking about a cure for stuff like that there are ways that you can diminish and fade those blemishes on your skin. A lot of people do go to spas and get abrasion therapy done. I’m never going to say “don’t do that, it’s not good for you” because that’s people’s prerogatives. I just offer a healthier alternative and we do actually have a solution that helps to fade sun spots, age spots, and scarring if it’s within about one or two years of the scarring.

I’ll pass that along to people who are obviously more careless than me, for example.  Well thank you so much. It was really nice talking to you again, and thank you so much for your great advice!

You too! I’m excited to read your book!

Thanks for reading along!  Our final Person Of Interest is Eric Brown, aka The Fitman, with a great segment on staying in peak condition even when you don’t have access to a gym.

 

 

Free Like A Bird

Hey, y’all!  We’re taking a quick break from our Persons of Interest series to tell you two important things!  First is that “The First One’s Free” is now on Amazon, and, well, free.  Download it! DOWNLOAD IT LIKE YOUR LIVES DEPEND ON IT!  What if you meet a [redacted monster] and need to know how to handle it?  Your life MAY actually depend on it!

Also, if you haven’t read Feeding Frenzy yet, there’s a giveaway!  So it’s like a win-win, right? Register to win book one, if you don’t, hey! the short story prequel is free! Reader, heal thyself.

Go get you some free reading material, and join us next week to see the lovely interview with the amazing Debbie Casey: traveler, art manager and beauty consultant extraordinaire!

FREE BOOKS HERE!

A wise fictional character once said "synergy is bigger than all of us, Lemon." To honor this universal truth, there's a Feeding Frenzy GIVEAWAY today
https://giveaway.amazon.com/p/d831eb4...

And also "The First One's Free" is free today and tomorrow. So if you don't win the giveaway, console yourself with a great free book!

People of Interest: Armorer of Earthlings

This month I will be doing interviews with astounding people who are out forging their own paths.  As this is a blog about The Summoner Sisters (Feeding Frenzy is now on sale here!) what topic would be better to start with than armor?

 Armor is a hot topic in the banisher world, and our first featured artist makes some drool-worthy duds. Today I have the great pleasure of interviewing Andy Fyfe, creator and crafter behind the brand SavagePunk Studio, perhaps best known for the cat armor that broke the internet.


And Selani wept, for she knew there were no more red dots to conquer.



Yeah. Him. I know, I was pretty freakin’ stoked when he agreed to do this!  This is why you should be nice to people on the internet.  You might just get to pick the brains of someone who makes things like this or this or this. And cat battle armor.


Now, if you’re like me, you’re probably thinking “Why is that cat better dressed than I am? What hobbies does this cat have that merit such protective gear? And do they allow humans?”  Again, assuming you’re like me, you probably also try to get away with wearing pajamas or “yoga” clothes* at every possible opportunity. So, I think the first and most pressing question I have for Andy is:

When can we expect a line of leather lounge wear?  You know, for when you expect the brigands at any moment, but want to be comfortable until they show up.



Absolutely- I mean, speaking personally, the most sophisticated armor in the world is useless if it prevents me from continuing my grueling daily physical regimen of looking at cats on the internet.  Having a free range of movement for everyday activities is essential.  I think it was Leonidas of Sparta who said, “As leggings are pants, so must my armor be pajamas.”  We don’t want to rush to release a product line of this importance until we know it’s the best it can possibly be, although as you can imagine, the demand has been overwhelming.  I couldn’t commit to a date until we’ve finished our exhaustive series of field tests and ergonomic analysis.  My data is all in the next room and I don’t want to get up from the couch yet.

Did you go look at the links I posted for you to go look at?  I feel like you didn’t.  Ogle this beautiful ensemble as penance.



Haha! Well, while we’re waiting, let’s talk about the real stars behind SavagePunk: Selani and Jenga. 


Well, Selani was our original SavageCat, the adopted kitty-daughter of my wife, Barb, and for a long time I was really the third wheel in their relationship.  Eventually, however, Selani and I developed a mutual grudging respect for one another, which was great, because she really was an extraordinary beast.  She was a Savannah Cat, a hybrid of a domestic housecat and a Serval, which is a species of sub-saharan African wildcat.  In addition to being very clever and social, she was capable of impressive physical feats.  Selani could jump seven feet straight up in the air from a sitting position, played fetch, tried to follow us into the shower, and was amazingly tolerant of the ridiculous outfits we’d sometimes put on her.  She loved human attention and admiration, so she’d willingly play along with wearing a fake dreadlock wig if it meant everyone in the room was looking at her.  She took right to wearing armor- almost eerily so, like she knew she was made for martial glory.  We’d take her to a convention or social event in her battle regalia, and she’d thrive on the adulation of the humans who came to pay her tribute.


Tribute, pls.

When she was diagnosed with cancer, we threw everything we had into trying to help her fight it.  After several months of chemotherapy, IV fluids, supplements, and feeding her from a syringe, she was finally just too sick to go on.  We were crushed.  She had become such an essential part of our lives, and she was such a totally unique and wonderful creature.

There was no replacing Selani, ever.  But eventually, my wife decided it was time to try again, and we adopted another Savannah Kitten who she named Jenga.  Jenga had some big shoes to fill, but fortunately for us she was also 100% her own cat.  She’s turned out to be a real chatterbox, following us around and yowling in what I think she believes is fluent Hoo-Man Talk, getting up in our faces to really make sure we know what her opinion is on any given subject.  She is armor-trained, enjoys playing fetch, and is generally a snuggly little love-slut.  She has her very own Steampunk-themed cat jetpack, and we’re working on a special surprise outfit for her to coincide with the new season of “Game of Thrones.”

Jenga and her minions

We’re sorry for your loss but glad to meet Jenga!  But since the crafting seemed to precede girding  your felines, how did you get into leather crafting?


One of my best friends inherited a plastic tote full of leather and leatherworking tools from a mutual friend of ours who had died unexpectedly.  I was at a pretty low point emotionally around that time, feeling like I was at loose ends and not knowing what the hell I was doing with my life, and this buddy of mine thought that because I was an artsy-crafty type, maybe I could occupy myself productively with the tote’s contents.  It was a simple act of generosity that literally changed my entire life.  I threw myself into it, finding the versatility and properties of softer, chrome-tanned leather to be totally fascinating.  I started experimenting with it, making clothes and bags and simpler utilitarian objects, learning through my mistakes and putting time into it whenever I could, gradually becoming more ambitious with my projects.  Around 3 years ago, I made my first piece from vegetable-tanned leather: that’s the stiffer, harder type of leather commonly used for tooling and making armor.  It was a tricorn hat for the pirate-themed wedding my wife and I had in Vegas.  I fell in love with the properties of veg-tan, and it’s been my main creative medium ever since.


Was this [being in business for yourself] always the goal, or was it like an “OMG people will pay me for this!” kind of moment?


Oh, wow, it was really always just sort of a dim, flickering hope I had that other more responsible people around me would gently try to direct me away from.  I was the kind of kid who obsessively drew D&D characters in the margins of my textbooks.  I knew I wanted to make armor since I was nine years old- I just didn’t know it was actually a non-delusional option for employment until my thirties.  The difference between what I do being an obsessive hobby vs being a functioning business is in my case entirely due to my wife, Barb.  She is the force for Order and monetizing my own personal swirling whirlpool of Chaos.  Without her I’d be just a nutjob, as opposed to An Artist.  She knows everything I don’t about how to run a business, which is especially impressive when you consider how very little I know about running a business.

 
What’s your favorite thing about your job?

Everything!  I have literally the greatest job in the world!  Every day I wake up, I can’t wait to get to my workbench and start makin’ stuff.  If I had to describe one of the dozens of Favorite Things, I’d say that I get a special kind of fulfillment from custom armor, and working with someone one-on-one to make something specifically tailored for them and their interests.  The human element of really trying to ascertain and interpret what they like, what they don’t like, anticipating their needs, incorporating their desires… it’s like mixing a little bit of my soul with a little bit of theirs.  Every day I have the opportunity to look at someone else and find an internal strength or quality to them, and use that as fuel to make something they’ll wear on the outside, amplifying their most worthy traits.  It sounds silly, I’m sure, but I take it extremely seriously.  I know I’m just making armor, but to me, it’s a sacred and symbolic responsibility: recognizing the value and worth of every individual person, and using that to make them more beautiful and powerful, in something that is literally made to protect them from the cruelties of the world while making them blaze like a bonfire in the darkness.  I’m naturally a pretty irreverent guy, but that’s my church, right there.

 
That’s awesome. So, besides cats, who’s buying armor and Cthulhu respirators etc.?

We have an incredibly eclectic and diverse clientele including historical re-enactors, live-action roleplayers, stage performers, indie movie producers, costume enthusiasts, club kids… we get the cream of the Freak Crop.  These are my tribe.  They’re distinguished by the unifying features of all being extremely creative and assertively unique.

Distinguished: (adj) When one’s goggles and one’s tentacled respirator match flawlessly.

 
What’s the process like?  Say I want to buy my lounge pants, or that Summer and Lia are in the market for some pieces that can take a beating and have runes and spells against monsters carved in.  What do I do?

Well, you’ve got your first steps, right there: a general awareness of your needs.  We have a preliminary form on our website where potential customers can answer some basic questions about the type of creation they want, as well as the scope, and describe in as much or as little detail as they know what they want.  A lot of the time we’ll encourage people to make themselves a Pinterest board of inspirational images they like, as often the language we have to communicate in is non-verbal.  We’ll usually go back and forth a few times, nailing down specifics, getting measurements, providing concept sketches, and generally giving me an opportunity to try to climb into your head and walk in your shoes before we come up with a final approved concept and a price quote.
 
What’s your process for design and creation?

You could call it “obsessive dorkery,” I guess.  I spend an average of at least eight hours just doing research on something like a set of armor- looking at historical works, selecting a color palette, trying to anticipate the unique physical needs of whoever’s wearing it.  The way an archer moves and the type of mobility and protection they require is very different from that of, say, a front-line warrior.  Everyone’s physical body, and their abilities and limitations, are unique and must be considered.  And I try to incorporate some kind of Wow Factor in whatever I’m making, something to really set it apart from anything else.  Sometimes I’ll make miniature armor mock-ups from heavy cardstock, to see how everything will fit and articulate.  I’ll usually make several reference sketches: some for the client, and some for my own benefit.  And then I just kind of throw myself at it.  My wife will know when I’m really in the zone when she sees me do stuff like forget to sleep or eat for a couple days, and she’s great at making sure I don’t die of dehydration while getting really absorbed in things.

Ha! Oh man, please don’t die! You truly make amazing things. I can’t tell you how much fun it is to see your WIP posts and then compare them to finished product.  


You are extremely kind to say so, thank you!  This has been great!

 

Thank you so much for your time, we look forward to seeing more of your stuff take over the web!

*Yoga is in quotes here, because remember we’re assuming you’re like me, and I would never do yoga, so there can be no clothes that are meant for yoga.