Jess Stuart's Blog, page 3
June 7, 2018
Is fear causing you to play small? Learn how to think big!
Facebook Twitter Google+ LinkedIn Do you have big dreams that always seem to be on the back burner? Are there goals you’ve yet to achieve, a step out of your comfort zone you’ve been terrified to make so far? Are there people out there you admire yet you’re not sure how you’d ever get to […]
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May 20, 2018
6 hacks to handle Imposter Syndrome
Facebook Twitter Google+ LinkedIn Imposter syndrome is something that I’ve suffered from most of my life—and I thought I was the only one. After 15 years working with people in personal development and then running my own training and coaching business, it transpires that many others feel exactly the same. I spent most of my […]
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May 7, 2018
Detox Lessons
Facebook Twitter Google+ LinkedIn As my 10 day detox draws to a close I’m reflecting on what I’ve learned and how I might take some lessons forward to make sustainable tweaks to the way I live. To keep it going but in a more moderated way, some middle ground – both with food and technology! […]
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May 1, 2018
The Detox Continues
Facebook Twitter Google+ LinkedIn This is the week of detox. Following on from this weekends impromptu digital detox I’m now trying the food version, it’s the end of day 3 of a 12 day detox. They say the first few days are the hardest so I thought it’d be a good time to share my […]
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April 29, 2018
Digital Detox
Facebook Twitter Google+ LinkedIn It’s not the first time I’ve done digital detox but it’s been a while so I decided on Friday night when I turned off my phone I’d put it away until Monday. Now I tend not to go into my office to be on my laptop over the weekend anyway as […]
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December 17, 2017
Mindful Leadership
Facebook Twitter Google+ LinkedIn We’ve all heard of mindfulness and in recent years it’s been making its way into the workplace but how does it relate to leadership and can it really impact our effectiveness to the point where it contributes to the bottom line? Leadership has changed and expectations have changed with it. It […]
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December 10, 2017
The Art of Mindfulness
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The Art of Mindfulness: Busy Life, Peaceful Mind. Staying sane in a crazy world, keeping calm amid the chaos.
Master the art of mindfulness. Stop worrying and start living. Learn how to bring Mindfulness into your life to make you happier, calmer and more effective. Achieve better stress management and resilience and realise the benefits of mindfulness and how we harness the power of our mind.
Develop a regular practice to tame your monkey mind, achieve a more positive mindset and free yourself from worry. Discover skills that help you bounce back from the tough times, stay in the present more often and achieve balance. Create more space in the mind and train the brain to be more clear and focused and a more positive place to be. Understand how Mindfulness aids our effectiveness, the impacts of emotional intelligence and how we can use this skill at work.
A Mindfulness teacher with a daily practice of 7 years. Training from teachers from around the world in many cultures and countries. Without any religious affiliations, I bring eastern techniques to benefit our western world modified in a way that is easily applied to modern life. Experienced course instructor, described by others as authentic, uplifting and inspiring.
Discover the basics of meditation and how to deal with a busy mind or negative thoughts. Achieve the skills to apply Mindfulness into your daily life and work to become more focused, clear and effective and develop a regular practice to sustain you well beyond this course.
Suitable for beginners to mindfulness or those who have done some before and are looking to learn new ways to bring this to life and create a regular practice
Over 2 hours of content, one lecture per day and some practical exercises to download as well as bonus material and resources.
Available online and through your device with lifetime access once purchased
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October 11, 2017
Why Learning to Let Go and Adapt Is a Shortcut to Happiness
No matter what kind of life we live, we all need to learn to adapt, because everything changes. Good and bad come and go in everybody’s life. It’s one of the reasons resilience is so critical.
We plan our lives expecting good to come our way, to get what we want, and for things to work out how we planned. At the same time we’re chasing the good, we try to avoid the bad.
One of the biggest sources of our unhappiness and discontent is not being able to adapt to change; instead, we cling to things we’ve lost or get upset because things don’t unfold as we want them to.
What we overlook is that this is a fundamental law of life, the ups and downs, ebbs and flows. Things come and go, nothing stays the same, and we can’t control most of the things we’d like to. Accepting this and learning to adapt and go with the flow brings us one step closer to happiness.
I’ve just come back from a meditation retreat. It sounds relaxing, and it was, but it was also difficult in many ways.
I had to adapt to a new routine, which meant a 5:30am alarm, sitting for long periods of meditation, and periods of complete silence and solitude.
And there were lots of other changes: Not having my morning cup of tea or evening chocolate—or any caffeine or dairy—and adjusting to a vegan diet. Being without WiFi and my cell phone, and braving the sub zero temperatures up in the mountains of NZ in winter. Having to do karma yoga work—things like cleaning toilets and stacking wood.
Not to mention the kind of emotions, thoughts, and feelings we’re confronted with when we start to disconnect from the world and spend time with ourselves.
I was so pleased to be returning home, but then instantly thrown into the chaos of a busy airport with all flights grounded due to fog. I then realized that I would not be going home, and to attempt that tomorrow meant a bus ride to the next airport and finding some overnight accommodation to wait it out with the hope that the weather would be fit for flying in the morning.
Despite my Zen-like state post-meditation, I was frustrated, upset, and I just wanted to get home to see my partner, sleep in my own bed, and not feel so helpless.
I had my plan, my expected outcome, and for reasons beyond everyone’s control, this wasn’t possible. I wasn’t going to get what I wanted.
Now, a week later, I find myself having to learn the skill of adaptability once again.
Many years ago I played soccer. I wasn’t bad, either. I loved it. It was my passion. As a kid, I’d play all day on my own in the garden, and once I found a team I’d never miss a match. However, my career was cut short in my early twenties after a ruptured cruciate ligament that was surgically repaired, re-ruptured.
I had to give up on my passion and for many years didn’t play soccer. It was as a result of this devastation that I found yoga—my new passion and lifesaver for the past seven years, something I do every day.
I’ve just had a further operation on this ailing knee, and while I’d adapted over the years from the injury, I found myself once again having to adapt to changes: Not being able to walk, being housebound, using crutches and the difficulties this brings. Finding a way of sleeping comfortably and seeing through the fog the painkillers seemed to create. Not being able to do my morning yoga routine and struggling to meditate because I couldn’t adopt my usual cross-legged ‘proper’ meditation position.
Sometimes what is, is good enough. Acceptance is key to helping us adapt. If I can breathe, I can meditate, and I’ve enjoyed some of my lying down meditations (the ones where I’ve managed to stay awake!).
And now, as I reduce the meds and ease off the crutches, I can see positive change occurring. I can do a few standing yoga asanas and can take short walks with support.
The devastation of leaving my beloved sport morphed into another form of exercise I fell in love with that I may never have otherwise discovered. And my recent operation led me to new ways of enjoying this passion.
These recent lessons caused me to reflect on how life has changed for me over the last year or so and how I’ve been adapting along the way (sometimes kicking and screaming).
I’ve gone from a nomad traveling the world to settling down in a city I’d said I’d never live in due to the wind and the earthquakes. I’ve experienced some of the worst winds and biggest earthquakes of my life since being here and learned to love it all the same.
I’ve recognized the positives and come to love the bits that make this city (Wellington, NZ) great: the small town feel, the laid back lifestyle, the friendly residents, the ocean, the beach suburbs and beautiful scenery, the wonderful array of cafes and restaurants, not to mention the abundance of yoga, meditation, and wellness related activities.
I’ve gone from being single and happy to living with someone else and having to think about someone else, taking into account more needs than just my own.
I’ve had to learn to love again, take risks, and face fears while navigating a long-term relationship and our different wants and needs. I’ve had to learn to share a home and build a nest, and think about the future in ways I’d never have thought I could, feeling very blessed if also a little apprehensive and scared at the same time.
read the rest of the blog and the full article here on Tiny Buddha
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August 24, 2017
Why Kindness is a skill
Many of us are brought up today to look after number one, to go out and get what we want—and the more of it we can have, the better.
Our society preaches survival of the fittest and often encourages us to succeed at the expense of others.
I was no different, and while I noticed a tendency to feel sorry for others and want to help, I was too busy lining my own pockets and chasing my own success to act on these impulses. I worried that kindness was me being soft and, therefore, a weakness that may hamper my progress, especially at work as I moved up the ranks.
It was only when I quit my corporate career, after years of unhappiness, to realign my values and rebuild a life around my passions that I learned the true value of kindness and how it has impacted my life since.
I volunteered overseas with those less fortunate. I lived in yoga ashrams and spent time with Buddhist nuns and monks across many different countries. I learned how compassion and kindness can be a source of strength, and since then I’ve applied this wisdom, with success, repeatedly into my own life.
Our natural response to seeing someone in distress is to want to help. We care about the suffering of others and we feel good when that suffering is released. This applies if we do it ourselves, see it in a movie, or witness it in real life. It makes us feel good. Feeling like we’re making a difference in the world and helping those who need it brings us joy; it gives us meaning.
My grandma was the most giving person I ever knew.
When her weekly pension arrived she delighted in giving the grandchildren money, even though it meant having little to spend on herself.
Family members would get upset that they bought her lovely gifts, which she then re-gifted to others, often less fortunate. Over the years I began to understand that it if she gifted it to someone else, it meant that she liked it and thought it was worthy of sharing.
Knowing the pleasure she got from giving to others and that she wasn’t in the position to buy things herself, I saw it as her getting the gift twice: the pleasure of receiving it but then also the pleasure she got from being able to give it to someone else. The recipients were always grateful and touched by her kindness too.
Buddhists say, “All the happiness there is in the world comes from us wishing others to be happy.” When we do good deeds for others it makes us feel good.
James Baraz quotes statistics on why giving is good for you in his book Awakening Joy. “According to the measures of Social Capital Community Benchmark survey, those who gave contributions of time or money were 42 percent more likely to be happy than those who didn’t.”
Psychologists even have a term for the state of euphoria reported by those who give. It’s called “helpers high,” and it’s based on the theory that neuroscience is now backing up: Giving produces endorphins in the brain that make us feel good. This activates the same part of the brain as receiving rewards or experiencing pleasure does.
Practicing kindness also helps train the mind to be more positive and see more good in the world. There’s plenty of it out there; it just doesn’t seem like it because, while the kind acts outnumber the bad, they don’t make as many headlines.
When I think back to how life was before, I realize that I wasn’t even being kind to myself, so it makes sense that I didn’t value kindness for others. I’ve learned it’s about self-respect first, and from there it’s much easier to respect others. Kindness as a skill taps into our true strength. We can respect ourselves when we are being kind to others and to our planet.
Read the rest of the blog here on Tiny Buddha
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June 17, 2017
Volunteering; why it’s not just others that benefit
Compassion and kindness are key ingredients for happiness. It leads us to want to do good without expecting anything in return, to look after each other and our environment.
When I hit 30 I was unfulfilled and unhappy, despite having every material I could ever have wished for. I had a good upbringing, climbed the corporate ladders, earned good money, had a company car and a house by the beach so why was I unhappy? At this point I set off on a journey that lead to understanding there was another way, the path to happiness and how to create a life we love. I discovered what I valued, how to balance life, learned a new relationship with money and rediscovered what mattered. During this journey which I wrote about in my first book A Rough Guide to a Smooth Life I discovered my authenticity, made life more simple and rebuilt my life around my passions to find meaning and purpose. Part of this involved quitting the corporate world and volunteering overseas. I trained to be a yoga teacher, practiced mindfulness daily and did my life coaching certificate. I now write books and run my own business and still enjoy volunteering. In celebration of volunteer week I’d like to share why it’s so important as well as give thanks and gratitude to all those volunteers out there who give their time to good causes.
Vietnamese Zen Monk Thich Nhat Hanh said “The word compassion is a verb”. Just think back to the last time you performed the action of helping someone in need. How good did you feel? Buddhists have a saying; “All the happiness there is in the world comes from us wishing others to be happy.”
Our natural response to seeing someone in distress is the impulse to help, we care about the suffering of others and we feel good when that suffering is released. This applies if we do it ourselves, see it in a movie or witness it in real life. It makes us feel good. Feeling like we’re making a difference in the world and helping those who need it brings us joy, it gives us meaning
James Baraz quotes statistics on why giving is good for you in his book; ‘Awakening Joy’. “According to the measures of Social Capital Community Benchmark survey those who gave contributions of time or money were 42% more likely to be happy than those who didn’t. Psychologists even have a term for the state of euphoria reported by those who give, it’s called ‘helpers high’ and is based on the theory that neuroscience is now backing up; giving produces endorphins in the brain that make us feel good, this activates the same part of the brain as receiving rewards or experiencing pleasure does”.
You may say, that’s easy if you’re happy, have money and the time to help. But when you’re busy, worried and burned out it’s not so easy to find the space in your heart or mind to be compassionate. Yes, it does make it harder but not impossible and can in fact be the opening to more joy in your life at a time when you need it most.
I must admit that when I’m working full time and trying to run my own business I don’t get the time I’d like to volunteer but when I have periods between contracts and can focus on one job I make sure it incorporate a day to volunteer. Not only does it give me a break from writing it gets me out mixing with others and that feeling of contributing to the community, being of service and doing some good for others.
It’s not just for others though, it’s good for our souls, our sense of meaning and purpose, learning new things, social connection. All the things that are fundamental to our health and happiness. It helps us think more positively about the world and our own contribution to it too.
It’s the voluntary work I’ve done over the years that I’ve enjoyed most above any paid job, no matter what the salary or benefits. I spent time in Thailand teaching English to Buddhist monks, worked at yoga ashrams and Buddhist centres as well as doing the soup run for the homeless and volunteering to teach IT to the over 50’s and coordinate activities at elderly day care centres. I enjoy the company and get a sense of satisfaction from this work.
Studies are also showing there are physical health benefits of compassion and giving through the form of voluntary work. United Health Group commissioned a national survey of 3,351 adults and found that the overwhelming majority of participants reported feeling mentally and physically healthier after a volunteer experience.
· 76 percent of people who volunteered in the last twelve months said that volunteering has made them feel healthier
· 94 percent of people who volunteered in the last twelve months said that volunteering improved their mood
· 78 percent of them said that volunteering lowered their stress levels
· 96 percent reported that volunteering enriched their sense of purpose in life
· Volunteering also improved their self-esteem
Researchers at the University of Exeter Medical School in England analyzed data from 40 published studies and found evidence that volunteers had a 20 percent lower risk of death than their peers who do not volunteer. The study also found that volunteers had lower levels of depression, increased life satisfaction and enhanced well-being.
It doesn’t have to be money, it doesn’t have to be a lot of time if you’re short on that. It can even be as simple as starting with some random acts of kindness throughout your day. When we think of giving we often think of charitable donations but it doesn’t have to involve money. Donating items to charity collections, baking cakes for local events, helping out at a local animal shelter or using some of your skills to help others are all forms of giving. Giving is not always about your time or money. We all have skills and strengths we can share with others, we can all choose to be compassionate. Even if we have very little material wealth, we all have infinite non material wealth we can share.
Take the project ‘Random Acts of Kindness’ for example. They have many ideas of acts of kindness we can perform for complete strangers and at the same time encourage those who have been the recipient of an act of kindness to pass it on and do something kind for someone else. This can be as simple as helping an elderly neighbor with their shopping, paying the toll fee for the car behind you, holding the door open for a stranger or making coffee for a busy colleague.
It doesn’t have to be hard or take up a lot of time, there are so many ways to help and by doing so we’re not just helping the recipients we’re helping ourselves too. In a world where we’re increasing too busy for kindness see if you can make space to volunteer yourself in some capacity – your health and happiness will thank you.
#NVW2107
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