Richard Langridge's Blog, page 2

RESIDENT EVIL 2 REMAKE: Things We Want to See

It should come as no surprise to learn that, just like as with movies, I am also a whore for video games. Action games. Horror games. Puzzle games. Those little point-and-click thingies. Pretty much all games, really. And of all these video games, none have captivated me more than Capcom’s survival-horror juggernaut series, Resident Evil.

Unlike perhaps a lot of you reading this, I still remember playing Resident Evil 2 back when it first released on the original Playstation. I was twelve at the time. My older brother and I tricked our parents into renting it for us from Blockbuster, not sure what to expect, only to be quickly blown away by just how freaking terrifying the game was.

And for little twelve-year-old me, it was terrifying.

Zombies. B.O.Ws. Sinister corporations. All those fucking zombie dogs.

Not since I was a baby had I ever had so much shit in my pants at one time. It was glorious.

But as time went on, the series changed, abandoning its survival-horror roots in pursuit of a more COD-based audience. No longer was I shitting in my pants out of fear. Instead my pants were filled with the cold, phantom diarrhea of confusion and frustration; how could this have happened? Why was it Capcom seemed so intent on whoring to death one of their most beloved franchises?

Okay, okay, so we all know why: money. And, really, you can’t blame them. They are a business, after all (if you need me to explain to you why catering to the Call of Duty audience would bring in more money, please show yourself out immediately).

But that didn’t stop the pain, the UTI-sting of despair that comes from being forced to watch one of your favourite video game series being dragged kicking and screaming over the hot, blistering coals that is the unrelenting Corporate Machine.

And then, out of nowhere, something peculiar happened…

After years of ignoring the cries of fans, Capcom finally listened.

Which brings us, ladies and gentlefolk, to Capcom’s recently announced Resident Evil 2 REmake.

To say I am cautiously optimistic at this point is an understatement. After the convoluted abortion that was Resident Evil 6, the possibility that Capcom could go ahead and fuck up what is arguably one of the best games ever made is a very real fear.

But the truth of the matter is that there are actually a few, very simple ways to ensure Resident Evil 2’s success.

Which are…

KEEP PRE-RENDERED BACKGROUNDS

A controversial opinion, yes, but the fact of the matter is that if you want to capture the feel of the original Resident Evil 2, you’re going to want to keep it as visually similar as possible. A lot of what most modern Resident Evil games have lacked (at least in my opinion) is an interesting, dynamic environment to explore. Whilst Resident Evil 6 admittedly took you all over the damn place, the original games put you in environments that felt actually lived in–an irrefutable necessity when it comes to immersion.

Basically: don’t fix what isn’t broken.

NO MORE GODDAMN CO-OP

Nothing kills a sense of peril like a well-armed companion constantly covering your six. For action games, sure, co-op is the balls–and, hell, it’s fun. No denying that.

Survival-horror games, though? Not so much.

Leave the co-op for games that actually need it.

LOSE OVER-THE-SHOULDER

Okay, so this probably fits in with the whole “pre-rendered background” point I made earlier, but if we really want to capture the feel of the original Resident Evil 2, we’re going to need to lose the over-the-shoulder mechanic. Bring back tank controls–or, even better, give us a changeable control system, similar to what was implemented in the HD REmake.

Yes, a lot of folks are going to be upset about this. But the fact of the matter is, if you can’t master something as simple as freaking tank controls, you have no business playing video games…

EXPAND THE NARRATIVE

REmake showed us that it is possible to capture the essence of a game, whilst simultaneously expanding upon it without compromising all the greatness that was already there. The whole Lisa Trevor subplot was a terrific addition to the game (and series in general), and elevated what was already an amazing experience to something even better.

Introducing a new subplot to run parallel with the main game, if executed properly, could bring a whole new dynamic to the narrative.

Which brings us to…

INCLUDE NEW AREAS

A good way to implement a fresh subplot would be by introducing new areas–similar to what was done in REmake. Perhaps we’ll get to see more of the city this time around, or perhaps we’ll get to see more, previously unseen parts of the police station. The fact of the matter is that there’s a whole city out there still yet to explore, with other survivors no doubt trying to survive, and more stories to be told.

However Capcom would decide to implement this, it’s nonetheless an interesting idea.

NO OVERPOWERED WEAPONS/ABUNDANCE OF AMMO

It’s perhaps redundant me saying this, but if you want to maintain a sense of helplessness, you’re going to want to keep those weapons low calibre–at least for the first half of the game. Also, keep the ammo scarce. Resource management was a major factor in the original games, and should be no less a factor here.

Though, granted, it would be great to see that Custom Magnum again…

 

-Rich.

*News Incoming!*

Okay, so some big things are happening in the world of Dan and Frankie right now. But because it would be inappropriate of me to say any more at this stage, I’m gonna just go ahead and say that, like, STAY TUNED, or whatever. Seriously. Don’t change that channel. Shit’s about to go off.

Speaking of Dan and Frankie, the boys have been pretty busy of late. Abby has moved into the apartment, creating a whole new dynamic for the guys to deal with. Frankie has become concerned with the current political climate, for reasons he could not even begin to specify — mostly because he doesn’t know. He’s still very confused. This morning Dan found what he thought was a shoe filled with money whilst on the bus, but turns out it was just expired food coupons. So that was a shame.

But overall, I’m pleased to report they’re doing just fine.

On a side note, I’d also like to say a big congratulations to the winners of this month’s giveaway. Your books are in the mail.

And that’s about all I have to say right at this current moment.

Expect more updates in the weeks and months to follow.

Cheers,

-Rich.

Dan and Frankie Save the World $0.99 Special Offer Now Live!

Ladies and Gentlefolk, I’m pleased to announce the $0.99 Dan and Frankie Special Offer is now live!

Are you awesome and/or beautiful? Hate your job? Perhaps you think one or more people in you life is an alien?

Then Dan and Frankie is for you!

Click here to pick up your copy now!

Please note, the offer only stands for the next 48 hours, so get your hustles on, people!

Look out for further announcements in the weeks and months to come!

And remember – stay classy!

-Rich.

Dan and Frankie Save the World $0.99 Special Offer Incoming!

Dearest Gorgeous Internet Peeps!

This Wednesday (11th May) I will be reducing the Kindle/digital price for Dan and Frankie Save the World to a very reasonable $0.99.

I know, right? Yay me!

The offer’s only set to last for 48 hours, so if you haven’t already picked yourselves up a copy, you might want to go ahead and do so.

Now, not to try and sway your decision or anything, but according to recent studies, every copy of my book purchased has been shown to bring a dead kitten back to life. And I don’t mean like a zombie. Like Jesus. So yeah. Probably worth bearing in mind. Of course, you could always choose not to buy my book, though please bear in mind you’d effectively be signing Mr Snuggles up for an eternity in Kitty Hell. And you just know Kitty Hell is full of dogs.

The choice is yours.

On a side note, apologies for going dark these past few weeks. I’m currently in the early stages of what may or may not be the sequel to DFSTW, and it’s so far been kicking my ass. But I’m hanging in there. I’m very tough.

Cheers!

-Rich.

FREE Kindle Giveaway for the Next 48hrs Only!

Okay, folks. Over the next 48hrs (30th-31st of March) I will be making the digital version of Dan and Frankie Save the World FREE for download.

Those who haven’t had a chance to pick up a copy yet, now’s your chance!

To grab your copy, simply click the link below.

And remember: stay classy!

-Rich.

 

Frankie’s 5 Golden Rules for Surviving an Alien Invasion

Hi, I’m Frankie. You don’t know me. Last year my buddy Dan and I saved America from being overtaken by a sect of alien, body-snatching jelly-slugs. There were ninjas and spy-stuff, and Chuck Norris was there, too. We even met the president. It was kind of a whole thing.

Now, although we were successful in managing to put a stop to their sinister plans this time, it’s very likely they—or some other kind of weird, gooey thing—will try again. Probably soon. In which case you’ll need to be ready.

So—in the event of further takeover attempts, I have constructed a set of rules to follow to guide you through the difficult times that lie ahead.

Ignore them at your own peril.

– Frankie B.

(The CODMaster)

Rule No: 1 – Identify Your Enemy

What kind of alien are we talking about here? Phonies? Greys? Xenomorphs? Slender Man? Is Slender Man even an alien? What the fuck is up with those arms, anyway?

These are questions you need to be asking yourself at this point.

Not all aliens are the same. Which means combating them will require different strategies. For example, E.T has that rapey little finger thing. You know the one. The glowing one. Yeah—that. You don’t want that up your butthole. So—broomstick. Hockey puck. Javelin. Anything long enough to jab the doe-eyed little fucker with whilst still remaining far enough away so as not to get unintentionally sodomized.

Remember: knowledge is power.

Rule No: 2 – Research

You’ve identified your enemy—now comes the research.

Researching can come in many forms—books, interviewing specialists, etc. But if you’re hoping for something to really help you learn about what it is you’re going to be up against, the best place to look is TV.

No, seriously.

Check out your DVD collection for any movies pertaining to alien invasions. You’re looking for any recurring themes, any patterns you can make out that might give some insight on how to better defend yourself when the end finally does come. The Thing is a good one. Or Independence Day. Anything with Will Smith in, basically.

Remember: if it worked for Hollywood, it’ll work for you. Just trust me on this one. I’m a professional.

Rule No: 3 – Arm Yourself

So you’ve got your AK’s and your 9mm’s and you’ve been to the range a couple times. You think you’re safe—and maybe you are. But what if you’re not? What if they don’t work? What if whichever alien fuckhead you do eventually find yourself facing off against is impervious to bullets? What then, hmm?

Assuming you’ve followed Rule 2 correctly, you should already know by this point who your enemy is, and subsequently how best to face off with them. Go grab yourself a weapon. A chainsaw’s usually good. Or a flamethrower. Or a chainsaw that shoots fire. Ha. That’d be awesome. Can you imagine? You could chop down a tree and turn it to ash in one move. You’d be like a Jedi. A Jedi with a fire-shooting chainsaw.

What were we talking about again?

Oh, right—weapons. Go grab one. Do it now, while there’s still time. Don’t wait until the invasion is already upon you. Grab it, then put it somewhere close, somewhere you can get to it at a moment’s notice.

(Tip for Phonies: try salt. No, really. It works. Don’t ask me why, but it does. Weirdest fucking thing.)

Rule No: 4 – Know When To Get The Fuck Out Of There

It’s okay to be brave, so long as it doesn’t get you killed. And believe me, being alive and a coward is better than being brave and dead.

A nice hard-and-fast rule is this—if Kurt Russell couldn’t kill it, it can’t be killed. Period. So don’t even try. Just grab your shit and get your scrawny ass the hell out of there.

Rule No: 5 – And if All Else Fails…

Look, not every scenario is going to have a happy ending. Even Invasion of the Body Snatchers ended on a sour note (spoiler alert: the Pod People won). If you want to survive in a post-takeover dystopia, I’m sorry to say, but you’re probably going to have to become some alien’s bitch.

Make friends with one. Show it how limber and physically accommodating you are. Learn to spoon without crying.

And in the end, if you can do these things, you might just survive.

 

Book Piracy – Yeah, It’s a Thing

So it has come to my attention recently that there are several websites out there offering free copies of the digital version of Dan and Frankie Save the World. That’s right, folks. Men/women/bearded, one-eyed sea-criminals of questionable moral integrity have been taking my work and giving it away for free behind my back.

Dick move, sea-criminals. Dick move.

I should probably be furious about this. I should be frothing at the mouth like Nicki Minaj at Miley Cyrus that one time. Remember that? Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. Don’t pretend you don’t like celebrity drama.

But, err… I’m not?

Why?

Hell if I know. Honestly, if the only way you can get a hold of a book is by illegally downloading it, all I feel is sympathy for you. I mean, you’ve got to be really hard-up for cash to want to risk criminal charges over something that costs on average about as much as a cup of coffee (also, it’s kind of flattering to think there are people out there so desperate to read something I’ve written they’d be willing to go to jail over it. Or whatever the repercussions for book piracy are. Walk the plank? Scurvy? A harsh talking to?).

So yeah. That’s where I’m at today.

Anybody else have any experience with this? Be great to hear what you think.

And remember – stay classy!

-Rich.

5 Things They Don’t Tell You about Being a Writer

There’s a lot of talk about writing these days. From advice, to opinions to marketing strategies. You could say it’s kind of the ‘it’ thing.

What people don’t seem to be talking about–at least in my opinion–is writers themselves, and what exactly being a writer means. Because there’s a lot that comes with that title. And I’m not just talking about the headaches that come from self-marketing.

So because it’s Saturday and I have nothing better to do, I thought I’d make a list. So here it is.

 

1. You Will Question Your Own Existence. Constantly.

I don’t mean that to sound quite as depressing as it sounds. What I mean is, due to the always questioning and introspective nature of the writer, you will always be contemplating things about yourself, and the world. Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing–or that it’s exclusive to writers, for that matter. ‘Ordinary’ people question things too. But being a writer often has you questioning the ‘big things’ whilst you seek to answer questions about yourselves, your characters and your work. Expect long, alcohol-fuelled nights of pointless rumination.

2. You Will Doubt Yourself.

It’s true. Unless you’re one of those confident-to-a-fault types, chances are there will often be times where you’ll wonder if what you’re writing is any good, if you should just give up and go watch cartoons.

THIS IS NORMAL.

Doubting oneself is a necessary part of the writing process. We should always be second guessing ourselves, trying to put ourselves in our readers’ heads. Does this make sense? Is this funny? Exactly how many penis jokes are too many? That sort of thing.

Often times it is this kind of thinking that can turn a good book into a great book.

3. You Will Develop A Caffeine Addiction.

I’m not sure as to the science of this one. But yes, if you decide to pick up the pen, you will inevitably develop a caffeine dependency to be put right up there with crack and meth addiction. I don’t know why. It’s just a thing that happens.

So, umm… yeah. You’ve been warned.

4. Your Health Will Suffer.

So this is one of the bigger points of this blog post. A lot of it is down to the fact that writing requires you to remain static for long periods of time, and–if you’re like me–in poor postures. Other factors are your quickly escalating coffee dependency, which then leads to insomnia, then weight loss. It’s a whole cycle, really.

I mean, sure, you could try drinking tea. And exercising. Whatever.

Just be aware that these are things you’ll have to think about.

5. Feral Backwoods Children Will Occasionally Steal Your Laundry.

Okay, so maybe this last one is just me. But I swear it all started the moment I made the decision to pick up the pen and become a writer. It’s just too much of a coincidence.

And to the kid who came into my garden and stole my washing the other day, I want my Mighty Mouse underoos back, you bastard.

 

-Rich.

 

 

*Winners* Books on the Way!

Dearest Goodreads giveaway winners, I’m happy to announce your books are now officially on the way! And to prove it, I’ve even added a little photo!

See?

This is a photo. Of books. You’re welcome.

Aren’t they pretty? Don’t you just want to stroke them?

So yeah. Prepare yourselves. Stretch out those limbs. Perhaps lunge several times.

Because shit’s about to get real.

-Rich.

FREE Weekend Now Over!

Well, ladies and gentlemen, the free weekend for the Kindle edition of Dan and Frankie Save the World is now officially over. High-fives to all who took a chance and picked up a copy. Be great to hear what you thought!

Look out for more free giveaways in the weeks and months to come!

-Rich