Sonia Killik's Blog, page 4
October 28, 2016
The Light of Duality
Duality.
The curse of humanity.
And it’s protector.
To be elevated to the ecstasy of love, and then crushed to the depths of pain.
Birth and death.
Gain and loss.
We all entwined in a myriad of ropes that both strangle and propel. Our genders, societies, cultures, dreams and deepest desires – nothing escapes the rules that duality imposes. Even within the freedom of our souls or the supposed autonomy of our minds – we are slaves to it. We yearn to grow and change what we do not like nor want – but resist the path that will take us there. We seek to connect to others and our world, but blind ourselves by the differences that separate us.
I find it fascinating that after evolving for so long, with so many discoveries absorbed and mysteries unveiled – we are still seeking the truth of who we are. And in that quest duality has remained the puppet master; that humanity can be so knowledgeable and ignorant both.
Is there an end to the spiral of truth?
Collectively we have peeled back so many layers of understanding. From the enormity of our galaxies to the infinitesimal wonder of particles. And still we know that the surface is just a reflection and we are yet to dive in.
Individually we mature and accept more and more aspects of our psyches, believing we have found the end of the tangled web and can now settle into security.
But what a beautiful illusion we have weaved for ourselves. There is no end. And no beginning.
There is only continuation.
Life is not meant to stand still…. perhaps duality is more powerful than the four forces of the universe that allow life to exist at all. Duality forces growth, expansion and reflection – there is no power available to halt its ruthless and never ceasing progression. It ensures the continuity of life through the cycle of death, and it demands that we never become complacent through inaction.
Inaction is not stillness though, for their outcomes will always be different. We might convince ourselves of their similarities but one requires thought and the other resistance.
Stillness; my most challenging manifestation of our dual existence – to be still within and honour the slow dance of our souls, while our outside lives twist and turn and churn up all you thought you knew.
Tonight I choose stillness.
It is a perfect summer’s evening, the light is flickering because I prefer candles to the illumination that comes without shadows. I prefer shadows… they are a necessity to balance over-exposure. My latest classical love affair is playing loudly. I have deadlines and commitments piling up around me, commitments I need to meet and admin that should probably be faced.
But I choose tonight to rather write and ponder the ever changing landscape that is life. What a wonderful ability that is… that we can be both trapped within the responsibilities of our lives and still take these brief moments to say f*ck you world and f*ck you duality.
Tomorrow I will tackle the opposite of this peace for there is always a reckoning that cannot be escaped. But for now… I’ll enjoy the stars a little longer and marvel at their size compared to mine.
The post The Light of Duality appeared first on Sonia Killik.
August 22, 2016
Musings on the Mountain
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I love the mountains – especially when they’re coloured white and far away from any town or person – I feel more myself when I am immersed in their majesty than at any other time. I used to visit them often, either to walk their paths or board their slopes.
But that was in my previous life – you know – the one when I was married and enjoyed shared resources. I had to shelve my love for adventure after my mini human made her grand entrance (ah the noble self-sacrifice of the single mother). One can only live the saintly life for so long though before the halo becomes a choker, and so it was with extreme joy that I finally committed to fulfilling one of my long-standing dreams; climbing Kilimanjaro.
Doing things alone has never deterred me, in fact a lot of the time I prefer it – who better to laugh at my jokes than the voices who share my mind (we have a good relationship the ten of us). It was with this semi self-confidence that I joined a group of complete strangers to climb the mountain.
I confess to indulging in some self-pity when I stood alone at the deserted train station late Friday night, and had to ask the security guard to take a picture of me after failing to fit in all my gear by way of selfie. Nevertheless I kept my optimism and energy drink high and off I went.
The long wait till 1 am was shortened by getting to know some of my team members. The remainder I met on the plane which I celebrated by promptly falling asleep, drooling on my travelling companion’s shoulder and hogging the armrest. In true British politeness he accommodated me by balancing his head on the fold out tray before him and occasionally giving his arm a shake.
Our hike began the next morning after we were dropped off at the foot of the mountain to meet our guides and porters. We set off with laughter and excitement and anticipation to lead us.
The higher we climbed the more we left behind; mundane concerns, mobile signal, fresh smelling bodies and any sense of time. Each day as we walked conversation and laughter flowed, personalities were revealed and dreams hinted at. Childlike fun prevailed and sleep was strangely peaceful, despite the squawking sound of a tent zipper opening at frequent intervals during the night.
Apollo 13 shadow puppets, human pyramids, mess-tent card games and naked penalties. It was a return to simplicity, carefree fun that excluded technology or western entertainment. A way of life that healed sore bodies and hearts.
After discussions with people who had climbed before, I was eagerly awaiting the ‘life change’ that was supposed to settle on me like a heavenly benediction from perfectly robed angels. So far all I felt was happiness that for this moment in my life I was far away from everything that required me to operate at Mach 3.
Before we knew it summit day was upon us. I gave it no more thought than the rest of the journey, my only true concern was whether I would be able to sleep the 5hrs available before we began – apparently I could not. I dressed with a pounding headache and slight nausea; it was the first time I doubted my strength and perhaps the onset of the proverbial epiphany to come.
Within 2 hours of our climb I was struggling to direct my feet where they were supposed to go and my headache had become debilitating. My frequent checks of the mountaintop revealed swirling stars that I was sure existed only in my own mind. It was with great relief when someone else pointed out the meteor shower – luckily I was able to dismiss hallucination from my list of ailments.
On the rim of the crater and during the final walk to the highest point I had to lean on our guide in order to walk straight, for the first time in my life I was unashamed at accepting help, and more than that actually enjoyed it. My mind had long ago turned its back on me in disgust for failing to command my body to obey.
My focus had become singular – accomplish my goal and then get the hell back down to a place where my body was familiar. In a discussion one day later it was pointed out to me that I could not live a solitary life and avoid any form of dependency. It seemed my grand lesson was one of surrender, something I had been too over-confident to prepare for.
In the hours that followed our individual challenges slowly made themselves known. I was humbled to know that each of us had faced our own adversities; and I was blessed to be reminded that despite our separate lives our humanity would always connect us. Too often in life we judge before knowing, isolate ourselves from emotions we all share, and presume to suffer alone.
As our guide kept reminding us – to summit is only half the journey, the descent must still be tackled. I am reminded of that at home as I try to fulfil the routine tasks ahead of me; driving to school, grocery shopping, emails, business meetings and deadlines that seem to have no purpose other than to mark off another week of my life.
The descent to reality has been surprisingly difficult considering my short time away from it. So I ask myself how I can have both – the obvious answer is to explore more, but that has proven a difficult scale to balance when paired with responsibility.
As I sit here on a deliciously warm spring afternoon, the wind sighing in the garden and the quietness of a Saturday afternoon humming peace, I am beginning to feel more myself again, starting to return to the knowledge that life encompasses all.
We can mourn that which we had and now lost, that which we desire and cannot have, the things we must do but would prefer not to.
Or.
We can be grateful for all the myriad of adventures and tragedies that have either brushed past our lives or burned a searing scar into it. We can rest easy knowing that there will be more adventures, and yes more sadness as well. They are each a blessing and sometimes only with time can we tell the difference.
My next challenge, and I suspect those of my travelling companions as well, is to find the same joy, peace and serenity that enveloped us on the mountain while sitting in traffic or attending children. That I think, is far harder than climbing.
Thank you Sean, Jason, Gabriel, Sandy, Grant, Tom, Ben, Lizelle, Simon, Carey, Lani, Richard, Mehran and Jon for including me in the adventures of your life – it was awesome.
We climbed towards a sea of stars,
some guiding sparkling tails that echoed the hope of those below.
Up, and up again towards a silhouette that promised victory.
Our bodies shared the trials whilst our minds wandered in privacy.
The dark and the cold kept us close, but each of us had to walk alone.
We planned to climb a mountain only, but in our ascent gained so much more;
friendships and memories forever imprinted in our hearts.
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The post Musings on the Mountain appeared first on Sonia Killik.
Musings on the Mountain
I love the mountains – especially when they’re coloured white and far away from any town or person – I feel more myself when I am immersed in their majesty than at any other time. I used to visit them often, either to walk their paths or board their slopes.
But that was in my previous life – you know – the one when I was married and enjoyed shared resources. I had to shelve my love for adventure after my mini human made her grand entrance (ah the noble self-sacrifice of the single mother). One can only live the saintly life for so long though before the halo becomes a choker, and so it was with extreme joy that I finally committed to fulfilling one of my long-standing dreams; climbing Kilimanjaro.
Doing things alone has never deterred me, in fact a lot of the time I prefer it – who better to laugh at my jokes than the voices who share my mind (we have a good relationship the ten of us). It was with this semi self-confidence that I joined a group of complete strangers to climb the mountain.
I confess to indulging in some self-pity when I stood alone at the deserted train station late Friday night, and had to ask the security guard to take a picture of me after failing to fit in all my gear by way of selfie. Nevertheless I kept my optimism and energy drink high and off I went.
The long wait till 1 am was shortened by getting to know some of my team members. The remainder I met on the plane which I celebrated by promptly falling asleep, drooling on my travelling companion’s shoulder and hogging the armrest. In true British politeness he accommodated me by balancing his head on the fold out tray before him and occasionally giving his arm a shake.
Our hike began the next morning after we were dropped off at the foot of the mountain to meet our guides and porters. We set off with laughter and excitement and anticipation to lead us.
The higher we climbed the more we left behind; mundane concerns, mobile signal, fresh smelling bodies and any sense of time. Each day as we walked conversation and laughter flowed, personalities were revealed and dreams hinted at. Childlike fun prevailed and sleep was strangely peaceful, despite the squawking sound of a tent zipper opening at frequent intervals during the night.
Apollo 13 shadow puppets, human pyramids, mess-tent card games and naked penalties. It was a return to simplicity, carefree fun that excluded technology or western entertainment. A way of life that healed sore bodies and hearts.
After discussions with people who had climbed before, I was eagerly awaiting the ‘life change’ that was supposed to settle on me like a heavenly benediction from perfectly robed angels. So far all I felt was happiness that for this moment in my life I was far away from everything that required me to operate at Mach 3.
Before we knew it summit day was upon us. I gave it no more thought than the rest of the journey, my only true concern was whether I would be able to sleep the 5hrs available before we began – apparently I could not. I dressed with a pounding headache and slight nausea; it was the first time I doubted my strength and perhaps the onset of the proverbial epiphany to come.
Within 2 hours of our climb I was struggling to direct my feet where they were supposed to go and my headache had become debilitating. My frequent checks of the mountaintop revealed swirling stars that I was sure existed only in my own mind. It was with great relief when someone else pointed out the meteor shower – luckily I was able to dismiss hallucination from my list of ailments.
On the rim of the crater and during the final walk to the highest point I had to lean on our guide in order to walk straight, for the first time in my life I was unashamed at accepting help, and more than that actually enjoyed it. My mind had long ago turned its back on me in disgust for failing to command my body to obey.
My focus had become singular – accomplish my goal and then get the hell back down to a place where my body was familiar. In a discussion one day later it was pointed out to me that I could not live a singular life and avoid any form of dependency. It seemed my grand lesson was one of surrender, something I had been too over-confident to prepare for.
In the hours that followed our individual challenges slowly made themselves known. I was humbled to know that each of us had faced our own adversities; and I was blessed to be reminded that despite our separate lives our humanity would always connect us. Too often in life we judge before knowing, isolate ourselves from emotions we all share, and presume to suffer alone.
As our guide kept reminding us – to summit is only half the journey, the descent must still be tackled. I am reminded of that at home as I try to fulfil the routine tasks ahead of me; driving to school, grocery shopping, emails, business meetings and deadlines that seem to have no purpose other than to mark off another week of my life.
The descent to reality has been surprisingly difficult considering my short time away from it. So I ask myself how I can have both – the obvious answer is to explore more, but that has proven a difficult scale to balance when paired with responsibility.
As I sit here on a deliciously warm spring afternoon, the wind sighing in the garden and the quietness of a Saturday afternoon humming peace, I am beginning to feel more myself again, starting to return to the knowledge that life encompasses all.
We can mourn that which we had and now lost, that which we desire and cannot have, the things we must do but would prefer not to.
Or.
We can be grateful for all the myriad of adventures and tragedies that have either brushed past our lives or burned a searing scar into it. We can rest easy knowing that there will be more adventures, and yes more sadness as well. They are each a blessing and sometimes only with time can we tell the difference.
My next challenge, and I suspect those of my travelling companions as well, is to find the same joy, peace and serenity that enveloped us on the mountain while sitting in traffic or attending children. That I think, is far harder than climbing.
Thank you Sean, Jason, Gabriel, Sandy, Grant, Tom, Ben, Lizelle, Simon, Carey, Lani, Richard, Mehran and Jon for including me in the adventures of your life – it was awesome.
We climbed towards a sea of stars,
some guiding sparkling tails that echoed the hope of those below.
Up, and up again towards a silhouette that promised victory.
Our bodies shared the trials whilst our minds wandered in privacy.
The dark and the cold kept us close, but each of us had to walk alone.
We planned to climb a mountain only, but in our ascent gained so much more;
friendships and memories forever imprinted in our hearts.
The post Musings on the Mountain appeared first on Sonia Killik.
June 9, 2016
Recycled Atoms
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I am currently reading Bill Bryson’s A Short History of Nearly Everything and the section on atoms and quantum states has had me deep in thought the last few days.
Spiritualists have for years stated that we are all one – and now science can prove it. You see, every single thing in the entire universe is made up of atoms – just one infinitesimally small little atom that manifests into every sentient and non-organic thing in existence. It is both boggling to the mind and humbling.
What had me thinking this past week is that these atoms are recycled and what that implies.
Atoms never cease to exist – they only transform their combinations to make new things. That means that all the trillions and trillions of atoms that make up you and me were once stars, or trees, or other people. That is a big realisation. And one that may hold some solutions to our human lives.
Within every atom is a memory – because atoms are quantum in nature they hold both nothing and everything at the same time. This means that they possess both the blueprint of what came before and at the same time an empty canvas of what it will become. We see this property in action within our own DNA, where individual and generational memory is passed through to our physicality, our traits and our personalities.
Atoms not only hold memory but they also act as holograms – mimicking their fellow atoms behaviour no matter the distance between the two. So if atom A is set to a certain speed or rotation atom B will of it’s own volition move and spin as well (but in an opposite direction).
But let’s think bigger – lets truly grasp the concept that every atom within you and I have in the past and at the same time been within us, while also mimicking the actions of our respective atoms. Let’s understand that when the term ‘we are one’ is used – it truly means that we are one.
You may wonder then that if we are all made from the exact same material, operating at the same time as both single and separate – how is it that we are not just one big blob with a single personality? Well just like the addition of one proton and electron changes an atom to hydrogen, so too does the addition of a billion different factors change atoms into you and I.
Fast forward a few billion years from the original expansion of the universe and we now see millions of different people, animals, flora and so much more in existence. While we may all have different manifestations, we ourselves are quantum, meaning we are both separate (in our bodies and experiences) and at the same time one expansive energy.
All of this has had me thinking two words: compassion and honesty.
Because we have shared atoms and are sharing atoms – your pain is my pain. Your triumphs are mine and your failures are mine as well. Your fears, your regrets, your hopes – everything that you have tried to hide or suppress lives within me. And everything that I have hidden lives within you. I am both a reflection and an action of your self just as you are to me.
It is the reason we are moved to tears when listening to music or watching a movie. It is the reason a stranger will risk their life to save another. It is also the reason we hold unreasonable anger and hatred towards people we have never even met.
We are caught in a web of energetic exchange at an atomic level that filters up from our very DNA through to our bodies, our minds and our beliefs. It moves beyond our individual selves and permeates into our families and our societies. When there is no conscious thought (the one prerequisite for a quantum state to become certain), we truly act as puppets; slaves to the conversations that our atoms are having with each other. An enormous maelstrom of mirrored behaviours that aren’t necessarily truth, but rather un-programmed quantum conditioning.
Compassion and honesty.
If the atoms within us all hold the same memories of love and pain, have in the past and in the future be the manifestation of love and pain, then how can we judge another?
If the yearning within our hearts is something we feel must be hidden, should we rather not expose that vulnerability? Because it is unquestionable that what lives in my heart lives in yours as well.
Recycled atoms – every feeling, thought, experience and more is swirling within all of us, shared by our atomic ancestry. I mentioned earlier conscious thought and how that one act will ensure a transformation from a quantum state to a certain one. I am asking myself now what the world would look like if we all consciously directed the properties of the atoms living within us.
If we could learn to honour each person on this planet as if they were ourselves, because ostensibly they are. Can we truly see that when we cause harm to anyone, be they human or animal, we inflict that harm on ourselves. That every single thought and action we allow to flow through our beings will return to us through the atomic interplay that is inescapable to our existence.
The enormity of it is staggering – but so is the simplicity.
We as sentient beings can literally alter anything in our world – as we have. We have taken the very atoms that created us and gone onto build new elements, cars, economies, poisons and even food.
What if we used our creative genius to create love? To create true renewable energy? What if just a few of us consciously embody the sacredness that should exist everywhere – could we reach the tipping point where other’s are influenced and uplifted merely by existing?
We can choose to feel disdain and irritation towards the beggar who has interrupted our day, or eat a steak and ignore the suffering that brought it to our plate. We can do all those things and more as we have for too many centuries. But the time for excuses is over. Globally we are all educated enough to know that every action (or non-action) taken has direct consequences on ourselves.
When food is consumed who’s every atom screams with pain – and we introduce it to our bodies. When violence is witnessed and the memory haunts our minds and guilt plagues our bodies because we did nothing. When bereavement, loss and fear is kept separate to society so it must instead become a darkness that none will enter. When the earth itself is plundered and broken and our feet walk upon it without remorse.
These things have consequence. On every level from the tiniest atom to the biggest country.
Compassion and Honesty. We are each capable of practicing them because if just one of us did we all did.
So I ask you to speak your truth, because half-truths and deception fosters the illusion of separateness. And I ask you to practice compassion, because every human experience no matter how different to your own, was once yours.
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The post Recycled Atoms appeared first on Sonia Killik.
Recycled Atoms
I am currently reading Bill Bryson’s A Short History of Nearly Everything and the section on atoms and quantum states has had me deep in thought the last few days.
Spiritualists have for years stated that we are all one – and now science can prove it. You see, every single thing in the entire universe is made up of atoms – just one infinitesimally small little atom that manifests into every sentient and non-organic thing in existence. It is both boggling to the mind and humbling.
What had me thinking this past week is that these atoms are recycled and what that implies.
Atoms never cease to exist – they only transform their combinations to make new things. That means that all the trillions and trillions of atoms that make up you and me were once stars, or trees, or other people. That is a big realisation. And one that may hold some solutions to our human lives.
Within every atom is a memory – because atoms are quantum in nature they hold both nothing and everything at the same time. This means that they possess both the blueprint of what came before and at the same time an empty canvas of what it will become. We see this property in action within our own DNA, where individual and generational memory is passed through to our physicality, our traits and our personalities.
Atoms not only hold memory but they also act as holograms – mimicking their fellow atoms behaviour no matter the distance between the two. So if atom A is set to a certain speed or rotation atom B will of it’s own volition move and spin as well (but in an opposite direction).
But let’s think bigger – lets truly grasp the concept that every atom within you and I have in the past and at the same time been within us, while also mimicking the actions of our respective atoms. Let’s understand that when the term ‘we are one’ is used – it truly means that we are one.
You may wonder then that if we are all made from the exact same material, operating at the same time as both single and separate – how is it that we are not just one big blob with a single personality? Well just like the addition of one proton and electron changes an atom to hydrogen, so too does the addition of a billion different factors change atoms into you and I.
Fast forward a few billion years from the original expansion of the universe and we now see millions of different people, animals, flora and so much more in existence. While we may all have different manifestations, we ourselves are quantum, meaning we are both separate (in our bodies and experiences) and at the same time one expansive energy.
All of this has had me thinking two words: compassion and honesty.
Because we have shared atoms and are sharing atoms – your pain is my pain. Your triumphs are mine and your failures are mine as well. Your fears, your regrets, your hopes – everything that you have tried to hide or suppress lives within me. And everything that I have hidden lives within you. I am both a reflection and an action of your self just as you are to me.
It is the reason we are moved to tears when listening to music or watching a movie. It is the reason a stranger will risk their life to save another. It is also the reason we hold unreasonable anger and hatred towards people we have never even met.
We are caught in a web of energetic exchange at an atomic level that filters up from our very DNA through to our bodies, our minds and our beliefs. It moves beyond our individual selves and permeates into our families and our societies. When there is no conscious thought (the one prerequisite for a quantum state to become certain), we truly act as puppets; slaves to the conversations that our atoms are having with each other. An enormous maelstrom of mirrored behaviours that aren’t necessarily truth, but rather un-programmed quantum conditioning.
Compassion and honesty.
If the atoms within us all hold the same memories of love and pain, have in the past and in the future be the manifestation of love and pain, then how can we judge another?
If the yearning within our hearts is something we feel must be hidden, should we rather not expose that vulnerability? Because it is unquestionable that what lives in my heart lives in yours as well.
Recycled atoms – every feeling, thought, experience and more is swirling within all of us, shared by our atomic ancestry. I mentioned earlier conscious thought and how that one act will ensure a transformation from a quantum state to a certain one. I am asking myself now what the world would look like if we all consciously directed the properties of the atoms living within us.
If we could learn to honour each person on this planet as if they were ourselves, because ostensibly they are. Can we truly see that when we cause harm to anyone, be they human or animal, we inflict that harm on ourselves. That every single thought and action we allow to flow through our beings will return to us through the atomic interplay that is inescapable to our existence.
The enormity of it is staggering – but so is the simplicity.
We as sentient beings can literally alter anything in our world – as we have. We have taken the very atoms that created us and gone onto build new elements, cars, economies, poisons and even food.
What if we used our creative genius to create love? To create true renewable energy? What if just a few of us consciously embody the sacredness that should exist everywhere – could we reach the tipping point where other’s are influenced and uplifted merely by existing?
We can choose to feel disdain and irritation towards the beggar who has interrupted our day, or eat a steak and ignore the suffering that brought it to our plate. We can do all those things and more as we have for too many centuries. But the time for excuses is over. Globally we are all educated enough to know that every action (or non-action) taken has direct consequences on ourselves.
When food is consumed who’s every atom screams with pain – and we introduce it to our bodies. When violence is witnessed and the memory haunts our minds and guilt plagues our bodies because we did nothing. When bereavement, loss and fear is kept separate to society so it must instead become a darkness that none will enter. When the earth itself is plundered and broken and our feet walk upon it without remorse.
These things have consequence. On every level from the tiniest atom to the biggest country.
Compassion and Honesty. We are each capable of practicing them because if just one of us did we all did.
So I ask you to speak your truth, because half-truths and deception fosters the illusion of separateness. And I ask you to practice compassion, because every human experience no matter how different to your own, was once yours.
The post Recycled Atoms appeared first on Sonia Killik.
April 12, 2016
The Natural Parent Magazine
Excerpt from Birth {f*ck yeah!} in the Natural Parent Magazine discussing Hospital Births.
Instagram competition to win one of three books.
The post The Natural Parent Magazine appeared first on Sonia Killik.
The Natural Parent Magazine
Excerpt from Birth {f*ck yeah!} in the Natural Parent Magazine discussing Hospital Births.
Instagram competition to win one of three books.
March 10, 2016
What Doesn’t Kill You…
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I consider myself an overly positive person – there isn’t much that can get me down, at least not for long. However the question must be asked: what the fuck is up with 2016?
I have always suspected that for some reason I am the person that drew the short straw when the gods were playing ‘Donkey’ up on Mount Olympus. While I am mostly up to the challenge, I do think it’s only fair that I have the occasional rant, if I don’t those buggers might think they aren’t playing hard enough.
In the last month I have grinned through a burst geyser (and subsequent collapsed ceiling), an exploding pool pump, two perpetually sick dogs that like to throw up only on carpets and not on the wooden floors so generously provided for them (because they eat my daughters plastic toys), 1 of my dogs also decided to become senile and now barks at me if I dare leave the room without her, 2 extremely expensive tires that couldn’t be plugged and had to go to the big circle in the sky, insomnia, a laptop that has permanently burned it’s impression into my leg, paint that has decided to stop being paint and instead turned into coloured powder.
(deep breathe)…
No electricity or water (hello bucket bath), intermittent internet, a TV that overnight stopped playing sound, an employee who went awol (but not before locking away everything I could have used to clean up dog vomit and vacuum up shattered glass), JHB Water who yet again put a hole through my mains while trying to install a new water meter (which they have been doing since December), my first experience of childhood Lice (refer back to the part about cleaning materials being locked away), and a whole lot of other personal things which I don’t want to type out because I may run the risk of tipping myself over the edge.
This of course happens while I hold down 2 very different jobs and mother a four year old who is home for half the day.
Nevertheless in keeping with this year’s resolutions I am still finding time for socialising and adventuring. Because fuck – without them my next purchase would be a straight jacket.
And that my friends… is life.
It is messy, frustrating, challenging, and juuuuuuust as you think you have all your little marbles colour coded and grouped according to size, the jar falls over and you’ve lost half of them.
So we start again, we smile again, we hope again. And it’s incredible.
The human spirit truly is indomitable. And that makes me ridiculously happy (ok I admit it might be closer to manic laughter but it’s practically the same thing).
Anyway not sure where I am going with this, I suppose I just want to say… chin up everyone. Shit happens. But so does magic, love, surprises that make you giddy, afternoon rain, friends who make you laugh so much you have to run to the loo, cuddles with those you love that makes your heart swell bigger than the multiverse, hilarious videos of people swinging into walls that brighten your day… and all the other cool shit that makes it all worth it.
High five to you all for rocking this thing called Life.
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The post What Doesn’t Kill You… appeared first on Sonia Killik.
What Doesn’t Kill You…
I consider myself an overly positive person – there isn’t much that can get me down, at least not for long. However the question must be asked: what the fuck is up with 2016?
I have always suspected that for some reason I am the person that drew the short straw when the gods were playing ‘Donkey’ up on Mount Olympus. While I am mostly up to the challenge, I do think it’s only fair that I have the occasional rant, if I don’t those buggers might think they aren’t playing hard enough.
In the last month I have grinned through a burst geyser (and subsequent collapsed ceiling), an exploding pool pump, two perpetually sick dogs that like to throw up only on carpets and not on the wooden floors so generously provided for them (because they eat my daughters plastic toys), 1 of my dogs also decided to become senile and now barks at me if I dare leave the room without her, 2 extremely expensive tires that couldn’t be plugged and had to go to the big circle in the sky, insomnia, a laptop that has permanently burned it’s impression into my leg, paint that has decided to stop being paint and instead turned into coloured powder, no electricity or water (hello bucket bath), intermittent internet, a TV that overnight stopped playing sound, an employee who went awol (but not before locking away everything I could have used to clean up dog vomit and vacuum up shattered glass), JHB Water who yet again put a hole through my mains while trying to install a new water meter (which they have been doing since December), my first experience of childhood Lice (refer back to the part about cleaning materials being locked away), and a whole lot of other personal things which I don’t want to type out because I may run the risk of tipping myself over the edge.
This of course happens while I hold down 2 very different jobs and mother a four year old who is home for half the day.
Nevertheless in keeping with this year’s resolutions I am still finding time for socialising and adventuring. Because fuck – without them my next purchase would be a straight jacket.
And that my friends… is life.
It is messy, frustrating, challenging, and juuuuuuust as you think you have all your little marbles colour coded and grouped according to size, the jar falls over and you’ve lost half of them.
So we start again, we smile again, we hope again. And it’s incredible.
The human spirit truly is indomitable. And that makes me ridiculously happy (ok I admit it might be closer to manic laughter but it’s practically the same thing).
Anyway not sure where I am going with this, I suppose I just want to say… chin up everyone. Shit happens. But so does magic, love, surprises that make you giddy, afternoon rain, friends who make you laugh so much you have to run to the loo, cuddles with those you love that makes your heart swell bigger than the multiverse, hilarious videos of people swinging into walls that brighten your day… and all the other cool shit that makes it all worth it.
High five to you all for rocking this thing called Life.
February 18, 2016
The Disabled Myth
I am disabled.
When you look at me, you can’t see that I am disabled. I look like anyone else. As some people would say, I look “normal”. I’m not in a wheelchair, I don’t walk with a cane and I don’t wear a hearing aid.
Yet I am different. I am blind in my right eye but because no one can see any outward manifestations of this, they think that I am like anyone else who has all their faculties “intact”.
The point I’m trying to make is that we are all the same and should be treated as such. You who is lucky enough to have all your senses intact, me with my one bum eye, and the guy in the wheelchair.
We all have something to offer. We all have value to bring to this world.
I was in a clothing shop the other day – at this point in time, its name escapes me. Along the aisles, I encountered a man in a wheelchair with a number of clothes on his lap – obviously waiting to see what else he liked in the store so that he could take his completed bundle of goodies along to the change room.
As I approached where he was, I could feel a sense of defiance emanating from him. He was giving off the vibe: “Yes, I am entitled to be in this shop trying on clothes. So sue me!”
I didn’t think twice of it at this stage but it cropped up in my mind a couple of days later. I asked myself why people who are not abled bodied are often seen to close themselves off from others, giving off a very hostile vibe. A “don’t-feel-sorry-for-me” vibe.
People who are lucky enough not to have impaired senses tend to, in my experience, feel sorry for their not-so-abled brethren. But unfortunately with this sense of “feeling sorry” they disempower the other person. They look at someone in a wheelchair and (although they might not say it) they’ll think: “Shame! I am going to do something to help.”
Don’t! Doing what you think will help a differently-abled person is the worst thing that you can do. Chances are very good that you will be doing something that for them that they absolutely don’t want. In actual fact, it could very well be counter to what they want and you’ll end up offending them – something that I’m sure you set out not to do.
So when you encounter a person in a wheelchair, walking with a cane or a guide dog, or wearing a hearing aid, don’t start treating them differently. Treat them as you would anyone else: like a human being who has value to give to the world.
