Thomas Lavalle's Blog

INTRODUCING ZOE

(Note from Thomas Lavalle: Some readers of this blog may be familiar with Zoe from her many delightful and anecdotal comments in recent years to Mistress Kathy’s Femdom 101 blog. A lot of these comments were anecdotal, sharing insights and stories about growing up in a strict and loving matriarchal home where females reign supreme and males happily obey their superiors, yes, even their teen and (on certain occasions) preteen daughters. Several days ago I was understandably delighted to discover a comment from Zoe appended to the previous blog post; my instant response was to invite her to contribute a guest post on any topic that might strike her fancy. I’m tickled to report that she is considering this offer, and may even be willing to respond to readers’ questions and comments. But, she hastened to add, she is very busy, so I ought not to get my hopes overly high. And now I’ll step aside and let Zoe introduce herself, starting with a reprise of the comment she left on that previous posting, along with some additional comments taken from her follow-up email to me. The British spellings here and there give a flavorful hint as to her origins.)

ZOE:

I grew up in a femdom family with my younger sister, Rachel, my mommy, Alison, and the sissy slave she is married to called Lee. We are a very close, happy family, and I grew up knowing the rules about how we lived our lives. All our friends and family had, and have, similar arrangements, with all the power in the hands of the females and all the obligations in the hands of the sissy men who live with us. My daddy always wore simple female clothing, rather like a secretary or PA [i.e., personal assistant]. He was respectful and had daily, weekly and monthly chores. He did all the food shopping, cooking, clearing away, vacuuming, dusting, garden chores, cleaning windows and generally making our lives easier.


I remember one day when I was about 8 year old my daddy was in the kitchen crying. I asked what was wrong, and he said that mommy had caned him for asking a question. I asked where mommy was now, and he said she was upstairs having a shower. So, I asked, what was the question? He said he had asked if he could stay up past his bedtime of 9 pm and see a TV programme he had heard about. It was about wedding dresses and brides.

I went upstairs to see mommy. I asked why daddy was caned for wanting to watch a programme about “girlie stuff.” She said, “Hi, honey, had a good day at school? Oh, don’t worry about daddy, he just crossed a line. He knows he is not allowed to watch any TV not vetted and approved by me, and he knows it is a strict rule that he is in bed before 9 pm no arguments. He’ll learn not to sass me and ask to watch a programme about brides intended for grownups. He seems obsessed with brides at the moment.”




There were several incidents like this where daddy was corrected and had to learn harsh lessons. When I was a teenager, about 14, I was interested in politics, and there was a presidential election coming up. I chatted with mommy about the issues one day, and daddy said he thought he should be allowed to vote this time as it was an important election. Mommy smiled at me and called daddy over to stand beside her at the kitchen island. She slapped him hard and said, “Now apologize to Zoe and to me for speaking without permission and giving an unauthorised opinion. How dare you talk about voting rights! You do not have any rights at all. How would you know who to vote for? You don’t watch TV news, you only read magazines for girls, you know nothing about politics or economics. It would be laughable. Now start supper, we’re getting hungry.”

It wasn’t all bad for daddy. When he did something good, he was praised, and if he pleased us, he got a treat. For example, if he remembered to tidy my room before I got back from school without being asked, I allowed him to stay in the kitchen with me while I had my milk and cookies. Actually in the same room as me and not sent to the utility and out of my way. He loved to be in the same room as me, but it wasn’t always convenient. If he saved some money on a special offer on the weekly shopping, then mommy would allow him to talk freely to her about fashion or cheerleading, which he loved to do.

I remember when I was about 16 I decided I needed to establish my authority over daddy. One day during that very hot summer, I pressed the buzzer in my room, and he came to the door. Then he came and stood by my chair, and I ignored him. Just didn’t say anything, just let him stand there. Testing him, seeing if he was obedient enough to wait for any order. After a while I dismissed him. I repeated this twice more after a thirty-minute gap. I must say he was a good boy and didn’t say anything. He just stood there with his hands behind his back and his eyes on the floor in front of my shoes.

I learnt a lot as I grew up from ruling over my daddy. I didn’t want him to be scared of me, but to obey and not question or give me chat back. We had a good life.

*



Additional comments from Zoe:

Dear Thomas, I am pleased you remember me from the Femdom 101 days. Such a lot has happened since. I went to the university and studied mathematics, I got married to a sissy man and have a family of two girls, Emma and Katy. Well remembered on your part that my sissy husband is Mattie. It is many years since I wrote about him. He is such a dear boy.

In fact, you could learn from Mattie in regard to your own situation. You asked me how you could increase your useful submission to your wife. I think you probably need to ask your wife how best to please her, but if you took more interest in female interests, that may be a start. For example, Mattie sews and does some dressmaking in his spare time. He cooks and cleans and reads all the women’s fashion magazines so we can talk about fashion and hemlines and what may suit me.

Try to be more intuitive and ask your wife’s advice, include her in your day, both the good and the bad. Forget about televised sports like baseball and tennis (which you mentioned). Try watching programs your wife likes. It is not about finishing your chores and then getting to do what you want. It is rather about pleasing your superior—that is your wife.

I’m not sure how regularly I can write because I am so busy. I enjoy talking about family life with my husband and two daughters. They are quite good at giving orders and expecting obedience, especially Katy, who can get Mattie to do what she wants any time.

###

THE MATRIARCHAL MARRIAGE OF MS. & MR. LISA, Part 2

(Continued from previous posting; excerpted from the Spousechat archive on Mark Remond’s Wife Worshiop website..—Thomas Lavalle) PAMPERING HER IN PUBLICCHARLES: One of the things Lisa likes is to lie by the pool or at the beach with me sitting at her feet, even if there are chairs available. She says it keeps me alert and aware of any needs she may have as she relaxes. I am always at the ready in case she needs something. I have also had some experiences where Lisa had me call her ma’am in public. FINDING A DOMINANT WOMANCHARLES: A man looking for a woman like Lisa could start by taking a job as a receptionist at a real estate agency or at a female-run law firm. This will expose him to powerful, assertive women, and he can possibly build a relationship that way.TAKING HER NAME (more)CHARLES: Recently Lisa and I did discuss the whole name issue, and Lisa decided (and naturally I agreed) that as a couple we are going to start using Ms. Lisa and Mr. Charles “Smith” as Ms. Lynda has suggested here several times. We are putting her name first, but she is allowing me to retain my first name. And, of course, it's her last name, which I took years ago. If she wanted me to go exclusively by Mr. Lisa Smith, and no longer be known as “Charles,” that would have been OK with me, but she didn’t. A little too unconventional, I guess.
TAKING HER NAME (continued)CHARLES, now MR. LISA: Lisa and I have decided that from now on we will be known as Ms. and Mr. Lisa S., thanks to the suggestion of Ms. Lynda. I decided to take this step because I feel I need to do more to further the new matriarchy, and hopefully this will generate questions and comments from women and men. I must admit, it may possibly be a little uncomfortable at first. I am going to the stationery store today to order some envelopes and address labels with the name “Ms. and Mr. Lisa S.,” so I guess today will be my first test as to how I will go about this. I will let you know how it goes.Lisa’s mother, Catherine, shares most of Lisa’s viewpoints on this matter, so of course she thought it was a fantastic idea. As a matter of fact, Catherine is a member of a local feminist group, and she has been talking for a long time about having Lisa and me as guest speakers at one of their meetings. I can hear her now introducing us: “Please welcome my daughter and her husband, Ms. and Mr. Lisa S.” Catherine enjoys seeing men in servile positions even more than Lisa does. The other day when I picked up her ankle bracelet after getting it fixed (I broke it), I brought it over to her house. She was just getting ready to go to dinner. When I went to hand her the anklet, she said, in a very nonchalant tone, “Put it on me would you, Charles?” So I did. She thanked me and I left.As far as Catherine, Lisa’s mother, she is divorced and has been for as long as I have known her. She does date, and from what I have observed, she’s in charge of her relationships. Lisa wants me to go with her mother to speak to her feminist organization by myself. I believe Catherine is arranging it, and Lisa is going to write a short presentation for me, but I suspect the Q and A session will turn out to be the most interesting.The female stationery clerk was quite surprised when I told her the names I wanted on the items I was ordering. When I explained it to her, she thought it was the greatest thing that I was actually taking my wife’s name. She told me that I was a really enlightened man and that she wished more men were like me. I think this is typical of the reaction of most women. A DAY AT THE BEACHMR. LISA: Lisa finally took a day off yesterday. We had a very relaxing day at the beach, and she seemed very relaxed and at ease the entire day. I tried to do everything I could possibly do to make her day enjoyable. I treated her like a queen at the beach. In fact, there were three women on a blanket next to us who commented to Lisa, “Where did you find him?” “Does he always do this for you?” etc., etc. I found all of these comments to be so complimentary to me. After the beach, Lisa’s mother came over and I made them a great dinner. After dinner, they sipped wine as I treated each of them to a pedicure. I gave Lisa a French pedicure and did her mother’s in a light pink. These really set off their tans. It made me happy to see how much they enjoyed their evening. (FYI: The French pedicure has a pink basecoat and the tip of the nail is white. Anyway, after soaking and lotioning the foot, the cuticle is pushed back, the tip of the nail is trimmed and filed (for a French pedicure, square it off a little). The light pink base coat (Lisa likes L'Oréal Barely Pink) is applied, allowed to dry and then the tip is done in white and curved to the shape of the nail. A clear coat is then applied when the nail is dry. It usually takes me about an hour to do this. And if you make a mistake, there’s always polish remover.)GOING SHOPPINGCHARLES: I frequently accompany my wife shopping, and on occasion, one or two of her friends will shop with her and I will happily accompany them. In order to make their shopping more enjoyable, not only will I carry their packages, but I will even take the outfits Lisa wants to try on to the dressing room for her and stand in line to pay so she doesn’t have to. I’ll hold her purse and her friends’ purses, if they want me to. I’ve never received anything but compliments from women, customers and salespeople alike. On occasion, a man will say something like, “Boy, does she have you trained,” usually jokingly. Any man who is saying this to me is probably out shopping with his wife as well and is probably also doing as he is told.
BUYING FEMININE PRODUCTSMR. LISA: I have no problem buying most of Lisa's personal products, even pantyhose or hair and skin-care products at the salon. But I must confess that the feminine hygiene products I do still find incredibly embarrassing to buy. The way I do it is just mix them in with a large food order at the grocery store, and stay away from younger checkout employees. The older ones will never say anything, the younger ones have. WORKING FOR LISAMR. LISA: Yesterday I told Lisa that I would be willing to fill in for her assistant for the second two weeks in July. Lisa had already assumed that I would. In fact, she was very insistent upon it, almost demanding that I do it. I will still be expected to do all of the housework and give her the personal services she has become accustomed to. A monumental task, I think, but it’s what she wants, so I will do it. Although I worked for women for years, I am still intimidated at the prospect of working directly for Lisa, not to mention the other women in her office.I’m also not ashamed to say that I am definitely Lisa’s intellectual inferior, she is brilliant, while I never finished college. It will be quite a challenge, and I hope I do not disappoint her. In the office Lisa can be playful, and it is her office, she even owns the building. She has joked around a little with me, saying things like “If you want to get ahead in my company, you’ll have to perform under the boss’ desk.” So who knows what may happen. I can only hope.* The first day, yesterday, was tough. Lisa is an unbelievably busy woman and keeping up with her instructions is a difficult task, I made a lot of mistakes. Then, of course, when I got home, there were all of my other tasks at home to do. I worked till midnight. Yes, I realize (as Ms. Lynda pointed out) that it’s important for me to be reminded that Lisa doesn’t need me to succeed, but I like to think that her life is more enjoyable because of the things I do for her. However, the sex aspect aside, all of these are things she could hire or pay other people to do. She has chosen to allow me to do these things for her, so it is a privilege.*I think I did OK for my first week, although I was chastised for forgetting a few personal tasks she told me to do. Like yesterday, I was supposed to pick up her dress at the cleaners, but I forgot. I’m trying to come up with some new ways to pamper and please Lisa, so if an of you have any suggestions, please let me know. I want to rededicate myself to making Lisa’s home life even more enjoyable. As far as the presentation to Catherine’s feminist group, Lisa is going to prepare something for me this weekend with her mother’s input. I think they are going to get together on Sunday. MR. LISA’S BIG PRESENTATIONMR. LISA: Lisa has told me that I will not be returning to work on any regular basis, not that I did a bad job, just the opposite, but she needs me for other things. As far as my guest appearance at Catherine’s group, it’s next Wednesday. She and Lisa discussed it last evening as I gave them their weekly pedicure. Lisa cannot attend, but I know Catherine will do an excellent job of showing the group what a “perfect, supportive husband” is like. I have been instructed by Lisa to do whatever Catherine tells me to do and to make sure I answer everyone’s questions honestly. I intend to act quite subordinate to Catherine for the entire evening, to address her as “ma’am” and wait on her hand and foot for the entire evening. I will make Lisa proud of me. *
My presentation went great. Lisa wrote me a short talk which I gave, which basically detailed the premise of our relationship. As expected, the questions from the women were many. I did my best to answer them. Of course, being a feminist group, all of the women were very pleased and very supportive. They really enjoyed the fact that I was openly called Mr. Lisa S, and many of them commented on the statement that made. I treated Catherine in a very subservient manner all evening, and of course her friends noticed this and thought it was fantastic.PLANNING ANOTHER FEMINIST PARTY FOR HIS MOTHER-IN-LAWMR. LISA: Toward the end of August, Catherine’s group is having an end-of-summer pool party. Catherine asked me if I would mind being the waiter/attendant for this party. Of course, I said yes, as long as Lisa agreed. Lisa agreed to it, and she will attend as well. In addition, I have to put the entire party together as well as being the waiter/attendant for it. I actually can’t wait.*I have been busy tending to my household duties and planning the party for Catherine’s organization. I’m basically done with all the plans. I found a woman-owned catering company to cater the affair and, at Catherine’s request, all waiters/servers will be males. They will be the only males at the party, other than me, of course. I have not yet been told what my duties will be on the actual day of the party. Lisa will be attending the party as her mother’s guest. The women of the group will get a firsthand look at a true female-centered relationship (other than possibly their own). Lisa and Catherine have been playfully arguing about who “gets” me for the party, so I’ve got a feeling I’m going to be someone’s personal waiter or something like that, either Lisa’s or Catherine’s, depending on who wins the “argument.” I hope it’s Lisa; Catherine enjoys embarrassing me just a little bit too much. But either way, I’ll accept it and do a good job. I did get the impression from some of the married women in the group that they were head of their households. However, although many of them kept their own names, none of them had husbands who took their names.Catherine wants all the waiters in white shorts, shirts and shoes, kind of like a resort atmosphere. I’m supposed to wear the same “uniform.” My job at the party will to remain at Catherine’s side as her personal waiter for the afternoon/evening. Lisa thinks this will be a good experience for me. I have found that Catherine has no problem with my embarrassment or humiliation, and neither does Lisa.For example, I remember one time when Lisa was trying on some skirts at a department store, and I was sitting in the “husbands” chair with Lisa’s packages, purse, etc. The saleswoman was looking at the skirt Lisa had on and said that perhaps she should try a size 4. Without even looking in my direction, Lisa points in my direction and snaps her fingers. I immediately go to her and Lisa simply says “Go find this in a size 4.” The saleswoman smiled and I heard her say, “Boy, he sure is handy.”I felt embarrassed and objectified at the time. There are countless other examples. Lisa’s mother does insist on being called “Ma’am” by me, and I know I will have to do this for the party in front of all of her group members and some of her friends as well. Also, when shopping with Lisa, I cater to her every demand without the slightest complaint. I even get on my knees and take off and put on her shoes for her.Once, a saleswoman was joking with Lisa as I was trying a pair of shoes on her. The saleswoman asked if Lisa makes me kiss her feet, so I playfully kissed Lisa’s instep, and both of them were entertained by this. I’m also on my knees before both Lisa and Catherine when I do their pedicures.Sure, if Lisa wanted to, she could come up with some really humiliating situations, and I would comply without complaint. But neither of us like to be in the spotlight too much. Catherine, on the other hand, does not mind the spotlight. I can only imagine what a shopping trip with her would be like. LISA’S TOTAL FINANCIAL CONTROLMR. LISA: The feedback from my presentation [to Catherine’s feminist group] was that the women were totally impressed by the fact that Lisa is the “boss of everything.” I found that they were particularly impressed with the fact that Lisa totally controls all of the finances, that I have no access to the bank accounts, and that all financial matters are decided by Lisa. Many of these women earn large salaries, and I know they were taking notes regarding our financial arrangement. GETTING TEASED WHILE DOING ERRANDSMR. LISA: I’ve been busy the past two days putting most of Lisa’s summer wardrobe away and getting her fall wardrobe ready. This means lots of laundry, ironing and trips to the dry cleaners. Also, soon Lisa will be going back to wearing pantyhose as the cooler weather comes, so this morning she gave me a shopping list which required a trip to Victoria’s Secret to get her four pair of pantyhose (Lisa really likes their pantyhose, although at $14.00 a pair, I think they are expensive).I approached the counter and told the saleswoman why I was there, and of course, she smiled and thought it was great. Two customers nearby also thought it was fantastic that my wife sent me out to buy her pantyhose. The four of us had a conversation about my situation, my duties, and my status as a househusband. Each of these women thought I was the greatest thing since sliced bread. When I mentioned that my wife had a real estate agency, one of the women asked if I had one of her cards (which I always carry). I gave this woman Lisa’s card since the woman said she is in the market for a home. Then it was off to the hair salon to get Lisa’s shampoo and styling gel. I usually dread going there because the woman who owns this salon likes to tease and embarrass me. Also, I made the mistake of going there after Victoria’s Secret, so I walked into the salon with the VS bag. The salon owner saw the bag and said loudly, “Oh, it’s you, the little househusband, how are you? Aww, did she send you out to buy her underwear?” I nodded yes.“Let me see what you bought her,” she said, so I handed her the bag. “Oh, pantyhose, isn’t that nice.” Several of the stylists were standing at the desk, and they all started giggling and smiling and making little comments. Finally the owner just said, “We love teasing you, you know that, don’t you?”Now that I think about it, being teased by these attractive women was very exciting. Even now a few days later, I almost can’t wait to go back. As far as my name, it’s an honor to be known as Mr. Lisa.A NEW INTIMATE SERVICEMR. LISA: Last night as I was cleaning the kitchen, I was thinking to myself, what more can I do for my wife. I do so much for her now, but I want to do more. What other ways can I pamper her and make her life easier?*I asked Lisa yesterday if there was something more I could do to make her life easier. She told me that she really hates shaving her legs and that if I could come up with a system to do it for her, it would be great. Actually I’ve done this before for her, but never on a routine basis. What I want to do is to turn it from a chore to a relaxing pampering experience for her each morning. I was thinking of doing it on a massage table right after her shower. She could lie down and relax for a few minutes while I shaved and lotioned her legs. This would probably take no more than ten minutes, but it would save her an equal number of minutes in the shower, plus relieve her of a tedious job. We already have a massage table in her spa room that I could use.
PROMOTING THE COMING MATRIARCHYMR. LISA: I truly believe that the tides are changing, and a world where women rule is an inevitability. It is our responsibility to nurture this idea and help make other men know that there is nothing wrong with women being in charge. In fact, it should be emphasized how much better things would be if women were in charge of just about everything.###                                                                         

THE MATRIARCHAL MARRIAGE OF MS. & MR. LISA, Part 1

[Outside of Elise Sutton’s wonderful Female Superiority website, one of the richest sources of “Real life Stories" of femdom or role-reversal marriages was the now-defunct message board called Spousechat (or sometimes Spouseclub). Created in 2001 as a networking support group for men wed to high-powered female executives, the message board was in short order taken over by passionate advocates for “matriarchal marriages” (i.e., what are now commonly called wife-led marriages or female-led relationships). Spousechat was deactivated without explanation in 2003. The complete archive continued to be viewable for several years before being taken down, and it subsequently vanished even from the Internet Archive. Fortunately for us, Mark Remond saved sizable chunks of the role-reversal postings; these can still be accessed on his Worshipping Your Wife website. The excerpts below—all from “Charles” (aka “Mr. Lisa”— are sourced from there with Mark’s kind permission.—Thomas Lavalle]HOW IT ALL GOT STARTEDCHARLES: I’ve been a househusband since Lisa and I got married 5 years ago. From the moment we met, she was in total charge of everything. I was working as a personal assistant to a real estate agent (female) who introduced me to Lisa (my wife). Lisa owns an extremely successful real estate agency. She and I dated for about 9 months and then got married. Lisa, and her career, quickly became the most important thing in my life. I adapted quickly to the role of househusband, probably because I had been accustomed to working for a female boss. * When I met Lisa, I really didn’t have much of a choice as to my role. If I wanted to be with her, I was just going to have to accept the subordinate role. There are a lot of men out there these days who feel as I do, that the woman can and should be the leader. Every day is a new challenge. I must stay focused on pleasing Lisa and remember that what is good for her career benefits the both of us. I like to think that I do play a part in her success. Even when ironing her skirts in the morning, I do it with the attitude that it will enhance her day. We men need the direction of a strong, confident, assertive woman. MS. JENNIFER S: If Charles was my secretary. He’d have to wear tailored suits and have impeccable grooming. He’d have my coffee and Wall Street Journal on my desk before I arrived for work. He would take dictation. He would have to make all of my personal appointments such as hair, nails and tanning for me. He would call me Ms. S and answer “yes ma’am” when given an instruction. He would accompany me to business meetings to carry my briefcase for me. He would run all types of errands for me, both business and personal. He would pick up and drop off my dry cleaning, get my car washed, and shop for me when I needed him too. Interested in the job, Charles?CHARLES: Ms. Jennifer S, Actually, at my last job I did nearly all of these things for my boss. Her name was Susan and she was truly an incredible woman. Although she was a very demanding woman, she actually made it a pleasure to do all of these things for her. PREPARING AND SERVING A DINNER PARTY CHARLES: The first time I served my wife and her friends at a dinner party, it was difficult. However, each time after it got easier, and I got better. Now, it is so easy that all my wife has to do is tell me when and how many guests.I am subordinate to Lisa, she is in charge, her decisions are final. Sometimes, at her dinner parties, I am treated much like a waiter or butler, but I'm used to it. I wait on Lisa hand and foot all the time as she is a busy woman. Why should a woman like Lisa have to ever lift a finger around the house except to direct her subordinate husband?Being a househusband is a demanding role, but each success my wife has makes it all worth it. As I complete my daily tasks, I constantly keep in mind the effect these tasks, no matter how small, will have on the quality of her life. The fact that her skirts and blouses are ironed to perfection hopefully plays a small part in her success. COOKINGCHARLES: I get all my recipes from Foodtv.com. They've got about 20,000 recipes. The main question a househusband has to answer is, is his ruling wife pleased with his cooking? If so, then he is doing his job. If not, then he has to work to improve. That may mean taking some cooking classes, which is what I did.I’ve also taken other classes over the years, such as manicuring/pedicuring, facials/skin care and massage. It's all about pleasing your wife.I would highly recommend any househusband be sent to school for manicuring, pedicuring, and skin care. It is so much more convenient and less time-consuming for Lisa to have me do these things than for her to have to go to a salon. Plus, it's a fantastic way to show my devotion to her and my place in the relationship. When I'm at her feet polishing her toenails, she really enjoys the sense of power and control, knowing that at that moment in time, the only thing that matters to me is the perfect application of nail polish to her toes. I've also been to massage school, and Lisa enjoys being able to come home to a massage a few nights a week.TAKING HER NAMECHARLES: My name since marriage is Charles “Smith” (not Lisa’ s actual last name). I took it from the beginning. Women have always taken their husband’s last name, so I don’ t see what the big deal is.We did not announce it to the world, but those who knew us certainly knew I was going to take her name, and they were all cool about it. The bottom line is, of course, that it was Lisa's decision.THE COMING MATRIARCHYCHARLES: Most of the top students in the schools I'm familiar with are women. These women will all have successful careers. But just think how much easier it would be for them, and how much more successful they would be, if they had supporting husbands staying at home. Unfortunately, most of them, if they marry, will marry husbands with their own careers. These women will not be able to concentrate as effectively on their own careers. When they get home from work, they will still have to worry about household duties. Instead, they should be coming home to a nice dinner, a hot bath, and a clean house, all prepared by their supportive husbands.Who is teaching our young men that it is acceptable to take a supportive role, that it's OK to be a househusband? Nobody is. It would be cool if somewhere in their education, young men were exposed to life as a househusband, perhaps in a Home Ec course like high school girls were in the old days. Make it mandatory. In fact, let’s go a step farther. Men need to be exposed to the idea of being a househusband at an early age, and need to be told that it is a serious option for them to consider.In a store once, I saw a college-age woman and her boyfriend shopping for shoes. This young woman was having a conversation on her cell phone and she was discussing (not that I was eavesdropping) some kind of a complicated engineering research project, which sounded like something to do with biomedical engineering. While she was heavily involved in this conversation, she'd point to various shoes she wanted to try on and her boyfriend would scurry off and get them for her in her size and then try them on her feet. How can we encourage this to become the norm rather than the exception?A TYPICAL DAYCHARLES: A typical day goes like this. I get up first, make coffee, sit down and have a cup while reading the paper. Lisa gets up, I get her coffee, then I get her breakfast, which is usually just cereal or fruit. As she eats her breakfast, I make sure she has towels for her shower and all of her hair and body-care products ready. As she showers, I get her clothes ready, making sure they are pressed. I lay her clothes on the bed. As she is a fanatic about shoes, I usually shine the pair she has selected for the day, if they need it.As she dresses, I clean up the kitchen. She will then give me a list of errands she needs done (she usually writes them out for me so I don’ t forget) before she leaves for work. My day then consists of typical househusband duties—cleaning, laundry, ironing, grocery shopping, cooking, and running Lisa's errands. Typical errands include shopping for any items she may need, getting her car washed, picking up her dry cleaning, and so on. As far as meals, since I know what Lisa likes, I plan all the meals. She doesn’ t have time for this. She doesn’ t inspect my housework. However, if something is not the way she wants it, she's not hesitant about letting me know.When Lisa gets home, I serve dinner, we eat and talk. Lisa and I constantly communicate with each other, and if there is a problem, she will listen to my side. She has the final decision, of course, but she does not totally ignore my input.After dinner I clean up while Lisa relaxes with a cup of tea or a glass of wine. She is usually on the phone for a while taking care of business. Since she has so little time, I take care of a lot of her personal needs such as manicures, pedicures, and facials. At her insistence, I’ve attended schools to learn these things. Manicures are usually once a week, same for pedicures, although I also usually do a polish change for her in between. I give her various massages to relax her. I've also learned facials and other skin care.All these things give us a lot of time to talk and communicate. As women advance higher and higher in their career, househusbands will find that they will be doing more and more simply because these high-powered women just will not have the time. But then again, that's what househusbands are for.I am constantly busy because my wife, like most career-minded women, is very demanding and particular about how she wants things done. I would say I work as much, and probably more, hours per week than most men who have outside careers. WHO ORDERS, WHO PAYS?CHARLES: At restaurants Lisa lets me order for myself, but she pays. On vacations, I have to make the reservations in Lisa's name because she is the one with the credit cards (I have one with a small limit for emergencies and such).SEXCHARLES: Regarding our sex life, I keep Lisa happy because I put her pleasure before mine. It’ s that simple. She always decides when, where, and how, and has no problem finding creative ways for me to please her. Lisa is absolutely breathtaking, so I don't think anyone will ever be referring to me as a “trophy husband” when they see us together. However, to her, and to all of her female friends, I am a “trophy,” if not at least a “prize.”I know many men would kill to be in my shoes, but I assure you that there are many, many powerful, assertive, successful women out there, and if a man wants to meet one of these women, he can. From there, it's up to him to show her the joys of life with a subordinate mate.SPOUSECHATCHARLES: I’ve told Lisa about this website and showed her a few of the posts. I'm working on her, trying to get her find some time to write down some of her thoughts for me to post. Perhaps the next time I'm giving her a pedicure or something where she can’ t move, I'll hand her a pad and paper. I apologize, if at times I don't give a complete answer. I too am still learning, even after all these years. And I really am trying my best to completely answer all of the questions people, especially women, ask. If I have fallen short in some respects, remember, I am a man, and like all men, I need guidance from a woman. I will try to do better in the future. I am going to try to do better, and surrender more completely to both Lisa at home, and to the female posters here.It is difficult for men to give up our former power because men are afraid. We have to be taught that women are not looking to eliminate the male sex, but rather to take care of the men, provide for them, and protect them, in exchange for, essentially, a total transfer of power to the woman and total obedience to the woman, to ensure that all of her needs and wants, no matter how small, are met. In return, she will earn a living and take care of the man.ARGUINGCHARLES: We do have disagreements and differences. While I am subordinate to Lisa, there are times when I do dare to argue with her. However, most of the time (probably 99 percent) she is right.When she's angry with me, I have found that she tends to objectify me. That is, she tends to treat me like her employee and talks to me only to give direction. This is her way of showing her displeasure to me. Fortunately for me, Lisa is quick to forgive me and most of our arguments don’ t last long at all.TAKING HER NAME (more)CHARLES: Although I took my wife's last name when we got married, I've never been called Mr. Lisa “Smith” [not her actual last name], but I must admit after seeing that list in Spousechat (Mr. Betsy B. English, Mr. Catherine Morecold, Mr. Sarah McCowlick, Mr. Senator Mary Shearman, Mr. Senator Jayne Tocsin, etc.), it does make me wonder if we should not be Ms. and Mr. Lisa “Smith.” I must admit there does not seem to be a truer act of open devotion and subordination. PREPARING AND SERVING A DINNER PARTY (more)CHARLES: Tonight Lisa had two agents whom she recently hired coming over for dinner. It was my first time meeting them, and I must admit, as enlightened as I feel I am, the first time can still be a bit difficult.When I greeted them at the door, I introduced myself only as “Lisa's husband,” not saying my first name. The first woman, Cathy, did not pick up on this and asked me my name. The second woman, Terri, had a little bit of fun with me. She said, “Nice to meet you Lisa's husband, I'm Terri. So do you have a name of your own or shall I call you ‘Lisa's husband’ all evening?”  I replied, half-jokingly, “Yes, it's Charles, but I answer to ‘Lisa's husband,’ ‘Hey you with the apron.’ or even ‘Mr. Lisa.’” Terri laughed and said, “Well, I see this is going to be fun.” The three women sat down, I took their drink orders, got their drinks, and then went back to the kitchen to finish dinner. I made Maryland crabcakes with honey mustard sauce, a spinach salad, and herb-roasted potatoes.How did I serve? Like a waiter, with an exceptionally servile attitude. The women absolutely loved it, and when Lisa explained our household arrangement, they loved it even more. They had lots of questions for Lisa and me over dinner, which I happily answered.After dinner, I made coffee for them. They went into the living room and talked business for a while while I cleaned up. After cleaning up, I went in and politely asked “Will there be anything else, ladies?” Lisa's guests thanked me and replied no. Lisa said “No, that'll be all, but before you go to bed, Charles, go through my closet and see if you can find that orange print skirt, you know, the flowered one that I bought in St Croix last year? It’ll probably need to be ironed but you can do that in the morning, just see if you can find it tonight. I want to wear it tomorrow.” “Yes,” I replied. As I left the room., I could hear them talking: “Wow, he does your ironing too?”By the way, Lisa hires men as well as women. She has a male receptionist, a male assistant, and four or five male agents. There are about twenty female agents. Like I said in a previous posting, the real estate industry is completely dominated by women. If any men want to know what it's like to be a subordinate to a woman, get a job as a secretary in a real estate agency. These women are all aggressive and assertive and have no problems giving orders to men. I must say, it is more comfortable when Lisa's guests don’t bring dates or husbands, but if they do, I'm cool with it. I act the same way, as does Lisa.* [Charles answers questions from Spousechat posters about the dinner party]CHARLES: I hope I can adequately address all of your questions. My apron is just a basic dark green, nothing fancy, although I love the ones with feminist mottos that some of you mentioned (“I belong to Her,” “A Man's Place Is in The Kitchen,” “Househusband,” etc.).Yes, the topic of the name change did come up at the party, and both women guests praised me for taking Lisa's surname, and yes, they were continually asking where they could find a man like me (both women are single and not dating currently). As Terri put it, it was very “refreshing to see a man take a back seat to a woman for a change.”By the way, I think it's great that Lisa hires men for traditional “female jobs” like receptionist and secretary. As I said earlier, I worked first as a receptionist, then a secretary, and then a personal assistant at a real estate agency, so I’ve had these subordinate roles with women for quite a while.I've never needed to hire any help for a party, but if I did, I'm absolutely certain Lisa would want male help. At public parties, I stay by Lisa's side, at her beck and call, so to speak.PUBLIC EXPOSURECHARLES: My neighbors think I'm a great husband. They all know Lisa is in charge. Two of the neighborhood women have been over to our house numerous times and have seen what our relationship is like firsthand. As a matter of fact, Lisa has them over sometimes and I'll do their nails or give them facials. Being subordinate to your wife at home is one thing, but in public it takes real courage. There have been times where Lisa has left something home and I've had to bring it to her at her office. Once she broke a heel on one of her shoes, so she called me and told me to bring her a different pair of shoes. She described to me the ones she wanted, I located them and drove them to her office.

This happened a few years ago, and at the time I only knew a couple of the people in her office. So I got to her office with the shoes, and she was in the middle of a meeting with three of her employees whom I had not previously met. It was an informal meeting, and so her secretary let me go into her office, after first announcing that her husband was here with her shoes.So I walked in, Lisa's shoes in hand. She introduced me, and her employees commented on how nice it was of me to do this, and they joked with Lisa about how well she had trained me. I set Lisa's shoes by her feet, and (I kind of knew this was going to happen), she asked me if I would put them on her. She asked in a really nice way, and the whole atmosphere in the room was very light. I guess she didn’t want to embarrass me too much, just enough to show me and her three employees that she was the boss at home as well. So, of course, like a good husband, I put Lisa's shoes on for her, then we joked around some more before she told me to take her broken shoe to be repaired, and I left.(End of Part One. To be continued…)

MISTRESS KYM: PSYCHOLOGICAL BENEFITS OF BEING A CUCKOLD

(Editor’s Note: I want to thank Mistress Kym, whose provocative and informative My Femdom Blog I heartily recommend, for this guest posting.—Thomas Lavalle)
Nowadays, many men (including a large number of alpha men) dream about being cuckolded. I wrote “men” because cuckolding usually involves them. But, of course, there is also a feminine version, and those women are called “cuckqueans.” Cuckolding is one of the most popular modern fetishes sweeping the world of BDSM.In my own femdom relationship, cuckolding is now part of our 24/7 lifestyle. I introduced cuckolding to my male submissive right after I started to use the chastity cage on him. This allowed me to go out having fun while he stayed safely locked up at home. I had his orgasms under my complete control while I took back my sexual freedom.Chastity and cuckoldry work together, as you will see, very closely.But it is important to point out that cuckoldry works as it should only if the cuckold is not humiliated against his will. Otherwise, only one of the two will take pleasure out of the process. And this is not what cuckoldry is about. This said, what does it mean to be a mistress cuckold?Who is a “mistress cuckold”? When your mistress, partner, girlfriend, or wife is having sex with someone else and you take pleasure from that, then you are considered a cuckold. You don’t necessarily have to witness the scene; it is enough if you imagine it or are aware of it. There are many mistresses, of course, who do force their submissives to sit in the same room and watch them having sex with other men.Try to visualize your mistress doing this to you—being with another man, one who will satisfy all of her sexual desires. Picture yourself at home alone while this is happening, possibly wearing your chastity cage. You are extremely excited but you have no chance to please yourself. What you need to do—indeed, all you cando—is patiently wait until she is back and lets you see her satisfaction.Basically, you get aroused by this psychological humiliation. You may be considered a masochist lover, because you just want to see your partner happy and sexually satisfied. Even if you are not directly involved in it.Being cuckolded is less about the actual event—what your mistress is doing to you (with another man)—than what is happening inside your mind. It is pure humiliation due to the fact that someone important for you is “cheating” on you, you know it, and you agree with it. But I will talk about that in more detail farther on.Three top benefits of being a mistress cuckoldBeing a cuckold is not negative. On the contrary, it has several advantages when examined from the psychological side.1) You, the cuckold, are psychologically satisfied It may sound weird, but this is really the case. You are satisfied to know that your partner has been satisfied by someone else.Being a cuckold means that you consciously accept your submissive role in the relationship. It is a variation of psychological, not physical, masochism. Basically, you seek pleasure by being humiliated. Your mind feels good when you see your partner happy and satisfied because this is something very important for you.2) You are able to manage your emotions positivelyCuckoldry is a BDSM fetish and, among all the fetishes, it is the one that requires a huge emotional control and healthy emotional management. Two of the worst        and most painful emotions are stressed in the process: jealousy and fear. How to deal with that? Just be open, accept these powerful negative emotions and transform them into positive emotions.I know, this sounds hard, but it is feasible. And, if you accept to be your mistress’ cuckold, it is a must. Embrace your vulnerability and trust your mistress completely. She is responsible for you, she is in control, and she is 100 percent aware of what she is doing.Keep remembering, your partner loves you, she cares about your intimate relationship and wouldn’t harm you in any way. At the same time, she deserves her sexual freedom, and the sooner you accept this, the sooner you will be happy.3) No responsibility will fall on you If you are a man in a F/m relationship, you need to satisfy your partner and keep the sexual excitement alive. If you are a cuckold, however, you don’t have this responsibility anymore. Someone else will satisfy your mistress, and you will gain all the positive results.In your submissive role, you don’t have any responsibility at all. In your cuckold role, you can take a break from your daily life and all its rules. My submissive told me that, for him, this is a kind of stress reliever. He knows he is inferior, and he is afraid of not being able to satisfy me. Therefore, the fact that I go out and that I may “meet” another man is not a problem anymore. He is thankful because someone else takes this responsibility away from him.ConclusionCuckoldry works best in mature couples, where both partners are aware of the consequences and fully accept them. This lifestyle will transform your relationship into a deeper one where trust and respect are the basics.You don’t introduce cuckoldry from one day to another, it takes training. It is not part of an ordinary life, but is a special condition. Be sure to collect all the necessary information before doing anything, and, again, make sure that it is consensual.#

MORE ON ‘PARKING A MALE’

(Note from Thomas Lavalle: An earlier post on ‘PARKING A MALE’ (May 10, 2019) featured parallel accounts by two female supremacists of how they give themselves a break from having constantly to direct their household males. Both techniques involve putting males “away,” and “out of the way,” when not needed. Here are two more samples in the same vein, with sources credited.)

From Mistress Kathy’s Femdom101 blog for March 1, 2020:

"One of the early postings on the blog related to a lady who sometimes 'kenneled' her husband for the night in the [bondage] studio. The story given to him was that she had a date with her lover and wanted him out of the way. The truth finally came out that there was no lover. She only needed time alone and felt that time spent with the mistresses in the studio would do him good.”

The second example is from one of Molly Sands’ most popular erotic novels, Obedient Husband (which is fast becoming a femdom classic):

How long had she left James in his dark cell? She looked at the bedside clock.

It was well after six. He’d been locked away for over two hours. She sprang out of bed and ran downstairs to free him. How could she have been so thoughtless?

And yet, as she descended the stairs [to the basement ], a strange pleasure took possession of her, and she found herself smiling at the thought of James locked in his cell while she’d lain in the comfort of her warm bed. It was an intoxicating pleasure which made her stop at the foot of the stairs and touch herself between her legs.

He was only a slave after all. Shouldn’t he be expected to suffer for his Mistress?

She told herself to go down to the cellar and let him out, but she wanted to prolong her arousal, and she turned and slowly climbed the stairs, already looking forward to the joy she would find in taking a long, hot bath, knowing her husband lay imprisoned far below.

*

ZARDOZ: CUCKOLDING IN A MATRIARCHAL HOME

(Note from Thomas Lavalle: Cuckolded husbands, according to female supremacist psychologist Elise Sutton, face a simple choice—between jealousy and submission. The right choice for sub-hubbies, needless to say, is the latter—ever-deeper submission to the will of their ruling wives. And yet, as we learn in this candid account from Zardoz (who has posted here before), even the most submissive of husbands, one who has learned to accept his place as the complete inferior of his ruling wife (and of all females), is not immune from occasional pangs of male jealousy over being cuckolded. Thank you, Zardoz, for giving us this revealing glimpse into your ongoing struggles to be the best submissive you can be.)
Although intellectually I understand and applaud and support my Wife’s right to experience sexual intimacy with other “bois” (or “beaus”), it still hurts a little. It can play into my insecurities about being replaced and ignored. I have been given permission to share just such an experience I had not so long ago.
My eighteen-year-old son and I were preparing food with the help of one of my Wife's current beaus. You can see my insecurities when I admit that I was feeling more than a little snarky toward this man, who is many years my junior and who I felt was acting too cocky. My son picked up on my feelings and began to treat this young man with disdain and even refused to answer his questions or pass him things.
My college-age Daughter watched all this and reported our bad behavior to Her Mother.
Moments later my Daughter returned and told us to finish and put away our preparations “toute suite.” Once this was done, we were called into the front room, where my Wife was waiting. She began at once to berate my son and me about our unacceptable behavior, while our Daughter would interject to add how She interpreted our behavior. We were reminded, in no uncertain terms, that as males we were there to support and make Women's lives easier, and that meant working as a team to accomplish this goal. Had that lesson not been rammed into our stupid male brains time and again? During this scolding, my head, and my son’s, got lower and lower, while the favored young man’s smile grew wider and wider.
Until, that is, he got the most almighty slap across his face from my Daughter and asked “Why are you so pleased with yourself and reveling in your fellow males’ misfortunes?”
My Wife also rounded on him and stared him down, to which he could only offer nervous smiles of defeat. This got him a few placating words from my Wife, before she returned to her criticism: “You may be good between the sheets, but you are still a presumptious boi!”
Inside I felt vindicated, but did not dare show it. She continued: “You think you are something. Well, my husband is a thousand times more useful than you and knows his place as a male, and is not cocky just because a woman lies with him.” She paused, her gaze taking in the three of us: “All, right, back to your work all of you. While the adults here”—meaning the two females, of course—“decide what is to be done.”
The verdict of the females turned out to be that my son was sent to bed early, without supper, with my Wife’s lover and me following a little later, after being tawsed side by side in Her bedroom. But that was not quite all. My Wife delivered a well-aimed and painful kick into my butthole that buckled my knees as we scurried past her to put the finishing touches to the meal that only my Wife and Daughter would now be enjoying.
The following day I apologized to the young lad and said that I was mortified that I had gotten him into trouble, as my Wife was sure to tell his Mother what had transpired.
Later that night when called to the toilet to attend my Wife, I fell to my knees and confessed my guilt. After I had completed my toilet tasks, She called me into Her bedroom. I was fearful, wondering what further punishment might await. Instead, my Wife took my head and rested it on the top of Her thighs and talked to me softly.
She told me that She recognized my feelings of insecurity and jealousy, but these had no place in Her house. As males we were there to work as a team to make Her life and ours good. She went on to reassure me that I could not and would not be replaced, as I was so experienced at obeying Her and knew just how to please Her, barring such silly behavior as I had just demonstrated.
When I had thanked her, and once more apologized to Her profusely, I was sent to get the young boi and bring him to Her room as She was going to use him. I went quickly on my errand and offered him my hand, and we walked hand in hand to Her room, where I said: “Here he is, and I am so happy he is here to please you.”
My Wife patted and stroked my cheek then kissed me deeply and shooed me out as She got down to exercising Her Goddess-given right to pleasure and the pursuit of sexual happiness.
*

MALE SPEECH CODES STRICTLY ENFORCED IN MATRIARCHAL HOUSEHOLDS

A frequent commenter to these posts over recent years signs his name “femdup.” He is the real deal, by the way, a submale raised from his earliest years to take his place at the feet of superior females, and one who has passed his entire existence under strict matriarchal rule.
Just this week “femsup” added a comment to an older post, actually dating back to the very first year of this blog, “Enforcing MaleSilence in a Female Led Home” (June 9, 2016).
“femsup’s” comment is actually a heartfelt confession of the shame and chagrin he experiences whenever he has his mouth washed out with soap for speaking “out of turn,” or “over” a female, or without showing proper respect. Here it is:
“For me it’s being sent upstairs to have my mouth washed out with soap. Not for using any expletives but for talking out of turn or over a Woman. It’s very embarrassing when other Women are present, particularly from outside of our [matriarchal] community, and they see me come down with a sour face with bubbles coming out of my mouth and when I am then given permission to speak. I say particularly embarrassing, but many times I am red from embarrassment just for letting my Wife down in front of other aware Female Supremacists. [Femsup]

Now, as promised, to fill out the posting, I will add some snippets (collected from many online sources over the years) that deal with enforcing strict speech codes on over-talkative males, including the timely use of bar soap:
*

“In a Femdom home there is a time for males to speak and they should be trained to know the rules of the house. At other times, if a male has something to say, he should know how and when to ask permission to speak. Also, males should be trained to stop talking immediately when directed to do so by a woman.” [Mistress Sandra]

*

“Whenever I talk back or sass I am spanked hard while i have a bar of soap in my mouth and then put in the corner for 30 minutes. No rinsing or spitting allowed or I will be gagged as well.” [source unknown]

*

“In addition to the OTK and cornertime, if my wife thinks I have been disrespecting her, she does not hesitate to put a bar of soap in my mouth while I am doing cornertime. Let's just say I know who is in charge of our house.” [source unknown]

*

“i enjoyed your post on men’s talking too much; a delightful piece that brought back fond memories of growing up in an all-Female home. Mom often left my Sisters in charge with wide latitude to take whatever actions They considered appropriate to keep me in line. i always did what i was told, when i was told and if i didn’t Mom would be told. One of the things that was always demanded of me was that i SHUT UP. My Sisters just didn’t want to listen to male talk – it bored them… i learned to ‘speak when spoken to!’ And to be brief with my answers when i was.” [dennis of Nancy and …]

*

“Males in our family knew to keep quiet; proper behavior was put forward in a book of rules we called Protocols. Men were responsible for knowing them and abiding by them. Knowing when to speak - and more importantly when not to speak - was an important protocol and one that was driven home with any man coming into the family. Men learned to stop talking immediately when commanded or when a woman started talking over him. They also learned that women weren't interested in what they had to say.” [Lady Susan, dennis’ Mother-in-Law]

*

“I can expect sharp slap to the face if I talk out of turn or over what a Woman is saying. I have had tape put over my mouth for transgressing and of course a spanking, tawsing or caning. Most usually though it is a finger applied to my lips and a loud shush.” [zardoz] 

*

“Doing all the housework while she sits and eats bonbons, giving her all the money you make, accepting an allowance, having her wash your mouth out with soap if you say a nasty word - it's all good if two consenting adults want to do it, as far as I'm concerned.” [source unknown]

*

“My wife and I have a ‘total obedience’ understanding; in other words, without question I accept discipline from her whenever and wherever she feels I need it. She makes use of the very effective rituals that go hand-in-hand with hard bare-bottom spankings (i.e., baring the bottom, kneeling in the corner, fetching the implement, asking for punishment before, thanking for punishment after, ridiculous costumes, soap in the mouth, assigned lines in a journal, announcing a spanking in a restaurant, and one very special witness). There are no safe words, and spanking sessions are frequent, prolonged and very severe, always producing tears and promises to be good.” [source unknown]

*

“I have acquired some more severe instruments of correction which I keep on display on my bedside table and do not hesitate to use. Any backchat is rewarded with a spoonful of English mustard or an hour in the corner with a piece of soap under his tongue, or both.” [unknown domme]

*

“For one week i was spanked almost every night, and had to do lines, and my wife washed my mouth out with soap and my corner time was done with a bar of soap in the mouth, and for the week i did not get to watch tv.” [source unknown]

*

“I committed the unforgivable sin of using profanity in front of a neighbor. The consequences were immediate and humiliating: My wife not only washed my mouth out with a softened bar of clear soap but afterward marched over to the woman’s place, made me apologize, and offer to make amends.” [source unknown]

*

“My wife got into the habit of having me kneel in the bathroom and she would wash my mouth out with a soapy rag before allowing me to lick her bottom. I always found it very humiliating to have to have my mouth cleaned in order for it to touch her there.” [source unknown]

*

“I’ve had my mouth washed out with Ivory because in a fit of anger I called my Mistress a bitch. That soap tastes horrible, particularly if you get one that has a lot of perfume. One tip: Eat a big bar of chocolate after. It kills the taste (a little bit). [source unknown]

*

“After my boots were shining, I told my slave to remove them. Then I ordered him to clean his face, his mouth and his tongue with soap. I specifically told him to wash his tongue and the insides of his mouth with soap as I intended to make him lick my feet and also keep my feet inside his mouth.” [source unknown]

*

[A typical excerpt from the daily calendar of “Ms. Rika”]7:15 - 7:45: While I bathe, he will then: Prepare my breakfast / Lay out clothes he'd like to see me in / Report back in to my bath to: Heat up the water / Shampoo my hair / Scrub my back / Be my personal soap dish (his mouth). 7:45: Towel me off. 7:50 - 8:05: I'll eat my breakfast now... in my bathrobe with him giving me a quick pedicure. 8:05 - 8:35: Time to bring me to my first orgasm of the day, maybe two. / 8:35 - 8:45: Time to bring him close again...and deny. [Ms. Rika]

*

“My wife has hit me across the face a few times, usually out of sudden anger for some infraction, and I admit it was always deserved. She also takes great delight at sticking a small bar of soap in my mouth for using foul language, a habit I am slowly overcoming.”[Male commenter to Mistress Kathy’s Femdom 101 blog]

*

“A few household rules my husband must follow: Ask permission to leave the house. Answer his phone whenever I call. Go to bed promptly at 10 p.m. Address me as Mistress in private and Ma’am in public. Consequences for his failure to do any of the above: Make him sleep on the floor. Take his phone away. Wash his mouth out with soap.”

*

“Cassie had finally had enough assworship. ‘Rinse,’ she said and pushed Stephen away. The male turned and thrust his face into the big red plastic bowl full of soapy water on the floor. Cassie used her foot on the back of his head to push him in and out of the water several times to ‘clean him up.’ Then he swiveled and put his face down into the blue plastic bowl, which had plain water. He gargled and spat and dunked his head some more.” [from the story “Enjoying Stephen” by Eosuchus]

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THE EMPRESS ARISES: THE FEMDOM ENGAGEMENT

(Editor’s Note: This follow-on to the posting of July 1, 2019 features another short excerpt from The Empress Arises. It was co-authored by “Ivy Ann and Bobbi Rigger” and published by Lulu in 20111 but has been, sadly, out of print now for several  years. For additional information on the book and the pseudonymous authors, see the Editor’s Note for that prior posting.—Thomas Lavalle)
(From The Empress Arises by Ivy Ann and Bobbi Rigger)
THE FEMDOM ENGAGEMENT
Once you have established at least the first collar, you may go still further and consider actual marriage.
Should you decide to marry, you can formally signify your commitment to one another in precisely the way that other couples do, by getting “engaged.” The difference is that it is up to her to propose to him. Or, more accurately, to tell him that she has decided that he will marry her.
There are several ceremonies that you may wish to use for this. Some couples like to include it with their collaring ceremony. We, however, preferred to make it a separate rite entirely. We suggest something as follows:
Once he is entirely broken in and understands his complete submission to her, she selects some time when they are alone. Perhaps it is a Saturday morning. After he has served her breakfast, and she has finished, she assumes a seated position on the bed or else sits in a chair in some other room of the house. She will have purchased a ring by this time, and she will place it on a table or other surface next to her. Next to it she places his cock ring.
She then directs her man to undress and stand naked before her. If he is not already wearing his collar, he should put it on now.
Once he has obeyed, she will sit for a moment and regard him. At her signal, he will sink to his knees. She will learn forward and take his chin in her hand and raise his head so that he will look her in the face.
“I have decided,” she will say, “that we are to be wed. You will swear to love, honor and obey me forever. Do you understand?”
He will say yes; or, if commanded to be silent, nod.  “You will wear my ring and be my property.”
Again, he will nod, or, if permitted to speak, will say, “Yes, my Queen.”
“You must understand. You will give up all hope of freedom and individuality. I will own you as I would any other chattel or object. You will be mine to have, to hold, to reject, to cast away, or to keep, as I desire. Do you understand?”
“Yes, my Queen.”
“Then extend your left hand.”
When he does so, she takes the ring and places it on his ring finger. She says, “With this ring, I thee claim. Do you understand?”
“Yes, my Queen.”
“Stand, but remain at attention.”
He does so. Then she reaches forward and places the cock ring around his penis. “With this second ring,” she says, “I remind you of your submission to me. You have surrendered your manhood, your body and your soul to me. Do you understand?”

“Yes, my Queen.”
“Very well. I therefore complete my ownership of you.”
At her signal, he returns to the floor. Again, at her signal, he lies on his back. She mounts him and rides him until she is satisfied.
*

JOHN SMITH: A HUSBAND WHO KNOWS, AND LOVES, HIS PLACE

I am a 45-year-old man married for 20 years to a gorgeous 42-year-old woman. We are deeply in love, and I am overtly submissive to her. I have told her over and over that I just enjoy worshipping her and want to continue to court her like when we dated. Some details:
Housework: I do almost all of it. She offered to help with some, but I told her she didn’t need to bother with mundane housework when she should be pursuing more fulfilling things. She is a stay-at-home mum and does some voluntary work for a few hours in the morning three days a week and enjoys her work and the people she works with. She is free to do as she likes during the remaining days of the week. My wife is also an exemplary mother and is always there for the kids, and in the evening always helps them with homework.
Finances: My salary is deposited into her account from which she is free to spend as she sees fit, whether, in her judgment, for the benefit of the family, or merely for her own enjoyment. For example, last year she exchanged her three your old car for an expensive new convertible. That was her decision alone. Meanwhile, I am still driving the secondhand car which I bought just before we got married twenty years ago, and I still use it every day to go to work and run the errands. When I saw her new car, I admit that I felt kind of jealous, and even dared to suggest to her that maybe I need a new car too. Her reply was, "No, honey, not for now. I may reconsider in three years’ time."
Children: We have two daughters, 16 and 14, and a son, 4. All three, yes, even the 4-year-old boy, are fully aware that Mum is the head of the household and that her decisions are final. Children do pick up on their parents’ behaviour. If they see their parents arguing and fighting, it is more likely that they will do the same and not become valuable members of society.
Our children have always seen me as a happy man who lives in complete deference to his wife. They see a couple who love one another, and a father who worships his wife and would do anything for her. What better example of family life could we give our children?
I am allowed to express some light wife-worship rituals in front of the children. For example, after eating supper, mommy and children go to the sitting room, watching TV, whilst l must clear the table and wash the dishes. After finishing with the cleaning, I join them in the sitting room, where I must sit on the floor by her side. Sometimes I even get the chance to gently touch and caress her smooth and sexy feet, but I only do this stealthily when the children are fully focused watching TV and are oblivious to all this.
Another example of light worship in front of the children is when my wife has the occasional Friday night out with friends. After spending about two hours getting herself ready, she enters the sitting room wearing one of her sexy backless dresses and high heels.
After we gather as a family, my wife and children sit on the sofa, and I sit on the floor by her side, as usual. After hugging the children, she announces, "Mommy is going out to a party tonight, kids. Now you behave yourselves for daddy and don't forget to help him with clearing the dishes after dinner.” Then she turns to me and will say something like, “I will be late tonight. While I'm gone you can work on the laundry.” With me still sitting on the floor, she hands me one of her expensive delicate diamond anklets, one matching the colour of her dress, and I must fasten it around her left ankle.
Back on our feet and standing behind her, I put her matching diamond necklace on and fasten the clasp, feeling myself getting hard. She will turn, then, to let me kiss her lightly on her lips. The children remain seated in the sitting room watching TV as I usher her to the door.
 Finding ourselves alone for those few seconds, we stealthily French kiss. Then I tell her, “Honey, you look stunning! Enjoy the night, spending my hard-earned money, I love you!” (This is a bit of a joke, because, of course, my wonderful wife doesn’t need my permission, or even my encouragement, to spend as she pleases, but she likes hearing me say it.) “I love you, too!” she replies as she walks toward her expensive car.

When the children are not around, I do a lot more to show my devoted subservience: Every morning, before I go to work, I must prepare the breakfast for everyone, and we gather around the table as a whole family. After breakfast, the girls leave on their own to catch the school bus, and I must take our “baby” boy to the nursery school. Then I must return home, where she requires me to fetch her footwear for the day and then place her selection on her feet. I go into her closet and locate the appointed pair, then kneel before her with the shoes until she instructs me to begin. I start by kissing the top of her left foot very gently, then worship her soles and sucking her toes, then carefully put on the shoe, kissing the top before repeating the same process with her right shoe and right foot. Following this, I fasten her selected ankle bracelet around her left ankle.
In the night when we are alone in our bedroom, I rub her feet and give her foot massages until she tells me to stop. I take great care of her lovely soles and enjoy being on my knees giving them special treatment and using lotions to keep them soft and sexy. Licking, sucking and worshipping her soles and toes is a massive turn-on for me.
I have a blue-collar job and work overtime for very long and hard hours for the benefit of my family. I come home from a hard day’s work and, after taking a shower, start supper, clean after supper and do other chores. After working all week, I never see or have access to any of the money I earn. I live on a weekly allowance.
My wife, meanwhile, can enjoy herself doing something she loves and come home to a hot-cooked meal. She has the evening to enjoy with the kids, watch something on TV, or go out with some girlfriends and come home late, not having to explain anything to me. She can spend money on whatever she wants—like the collection of different-coloured anklets.
I couldn't be happier in our relationship. Next Friday she has another night out with friends, and I am looking forward to feeling some of the pleasure when I start the laundry. Also, while I am waiting for her to come home, as the night draws on, my fantasies will drift to her flirting with someone she is out with. I do not know what will happen, but I know it is entirely her business, not mine. I am a submissive husband who is so happy to have a wife who enjoys doing as she pleases.

THE EMPRESS ARISES

(Editor’s Note: At one time I made a point of collecting every new book about female-led, female-dominated and female-supremacist marriages. These days (I’m happy to note) there seem to be too many such to keep track of, let alone afford and read.  The Empress Arises appeared in 2011, co-authored by “Ivy Ann and Bobbi Rigger” and self-published by Lulu. In the text, Ivy Ann is identified as “an important professor of history and women's studies at a certain University that we won’t name” and “Bobbi” as a “stay-at-home househusband.” Alas, the book seems to have vanished from all online sources, along with the obviouisly cybernamed co-authors. All I could unearth was a screen-shot of the Lulu product page preserved by the Wayback Machine (and reproduced below). Fortunately, I did manage to squirrel away a few excerpts from the book’s opening chapters, excerpts that provide some provocative details about the female ascendant couple’s courtship, marriage and domestic lifestyle. I will, of course, promptly “unpublish” these copyrighted excerpts upon request from the Riggers or their representatives (I would dearly love to be contacted!). On the other hand, if there is no such request but sufficient interest from blog readers, I may decide to share additional excerpts from The Empress Arises.—Thomas Lavalle)
*
A Typical Day at the Rigger House(From The Empress Arises by Ivy Ann and Bobbi Rigger)
From the outside, our marriage would seem pretty conventional.
Oh, there are a few things that may excite the interest of our neighbors in the little suburb where we live. For instance, it is Ivy Ann Rigger who goes out to work every morning and Robert is a stay-at-home househusband. But that's not nearly as unusual as it once was. In fact, it is getting more common every day~
But, on the inside, things are very different.
To explain, let’s walk through a normal day in our lives.
It's a warm spring Wednesday morning at our house. At five-thirty, Robert (Bobbi) gets up while Ivy stays in bed for a few more minutes snooze. So far, nothing's unusual about our routine. After all, lots of husbands get up before their wives. But if someone were to peak through the windows, she might be startled to see that Bobbi is wearing only a long, light pajama top without pants.
Still, maybe you could explain that by the fact that it is warm at the moment And, actually, if it were the middle of winter, we'd see that Bobbi was more conventionally dressed for the cold. But right now, he gets up and his knees and legs are bare. He slips on a light robe and heads for the kitchen.
There he checks to make sure everything is ready. The coffee is brewing. Breakfast fixings are ready. Ivy likes a single poached egg in the morning and a slice of toast. It’ll be ready when she comes to the table.
He made her lunch the night before but now he checks to make certain it is prepared properly. She likes to take a sandwich rather than eat out for her lunches. It gives her more time to work at her desk.
Then Bobbi checks the time. He still has a few minutes. So, he sits down at the kitchen table for a preparatory cup of coffee before the day. It is then that our observer, peaking through the window, might see another odd thing. When he sits, Bobbi pulls the tail of his robe and shirt to one side and places his flesh against the cold plastic of the kitchen chair. Maybe, if our spy had seen The Story of O, it might remind her of the scene when O does the same with her dress.
And if our spy was really looking, or had a pair of binoculars, she might notice something really odd. On Bobbi's left buttock there is a small tattoo. It reads “IAR.”
At ten till six, Bobbi gets busy. He stands and begins boiling the egg. He also pours a cup of coffee and takes it to Ivy Ann where she is just now waking up. He speaks softly, "It’s almost six, Lady mine.” She stirs and slowly sits up in the bed. He gives her the coffee. She takes it and mumbles, "Christ…”
He smiles and heads back to the kitchen. Again, there's nothing new or unusual here. Lots of husbands bring their wives coffee in the morning. Even very masculine, very commanding ones do. It’s chivalrous. Nor is there anything too odd about what happens next. He sets the table and waits until he hears the shower go on. Then he starts boiling the egg.
When she comes dressed to the table a few minutes later, everything is set. The egg waits for her, as does a glass of fresh orange juice. She sits and he pours her coffee. She thanks him. He stands attentively. She sips the juice and, after a second, nods. He slides into the chair across from her.
Some mornings, when she is still sleepy, they are silent. This morning, though, she is awake and energetic. “We’ll finally be hiring a European specialist today,” she tells him. He smiles and sits quietly, only speaking when she speaks to him, or when he feels that a well-formed question or comment will show he is paying attention. "That’s so interesting...” or “I'm sure you're right…”
She may also give a few quick instructions for the day. “Remember to put those checks in the bank,” she says. “And the car needs an oil change." He nods at each instruction. Then she pauses, thinks for a bit and adds, “Oh, and for your special treat, I have some underwear that needs to be hand-washed."
After her breakfast, she rises. It’s time for her to leave. She wants to be in the office at seven-thirty. While she brushes her teeth and makes a few last minute changes to her hair, he collects her briefcase and stands waiting for her by the door. She appears shortly after that. She looks him up and down.
Then, if it is any day but Wednesday, she walks to him, reaches under his robe and shirt, and gives his penis and testicles a firm squeeze. With her other hand, she reaches up and takes him behind the head. She pulls him down and forward. They kiss passionately. And, if it is any weekday but Wednesday, she releases him, saying, "Have a good day, babe," and goes out to her car.
Our spy at the window would be a bit startled by this, but she'd be truly amazed if it is Wednesday. On Wednesdays, things are a little different. On Wednesdays, she waits at the door. She taps her font once. He drops instantly to his knees, leans forward to grovel before her and put his head on the top of her shoe.
They wait for a long moment. Finally, she raises the toe of her shoe. He rolls back up to his knees, but remains kneeling. She pets his head and says, “Good boy.” He stays on the floor, with his eyes down and not looking at her until she leaves.
When he hears her car door close, he stands and begins his day.
Ivy drives to work. She is an important professor of history and women's studies at a certain University that we won't name. She is tenure track and on the way up. She also makes a surprisingly large sum of money. That's not true for most academics. But Ivy is a star in her profession. Thus, she is one of the small, but real group of professors who has a six-figure income. She has also inherited money from her grandmother. Thus, she is the only real breadwinner in the family. Bobbi is very much dependent on her economically and has been for years.
lvy spends the clay teaching classes and working on her next book, a path-breaking new study of how upper-middle class women reshaped the luxury cruise industry in the early twentieth century. The role of female consumers during the period is tragically unexplored, and her book will almost certainly be regarded as a classic in the field.
Bobbi likewise has a busy day. As soon as she is out of the house, he quickly fixes himself a light breakfast and then gets to work. First, he washes the dishes and straightens up the kitchen, Then, he hurriedly does any outstanding housework that needs to be done. He likes to get that finished early in the day. He vacuums the front room, makes the bed, puts a load of laundry in the washer, and so on. All of this he does in his pajamas, still without a pair of pants.
Then, the “special treat.” He finds the underwear she mentioned. She has left them in a separate hamper in the bedroom. There are red panties, black panties, and white cotton panties. These he takes to the downstairs laundry sink and carefully, lovingly, washes them by hand.

When he is finished, he checks the time. It is only 10:00! Excellent. At last, he can dress. He slips on slacks and a shirt and then heads out to take care of his outside chores. He goes to the bank, as he has been instructed, and then visits the franchise oil change and lube job place by the library. A short time later, he does the grocery shopping and returns home. If it were Monday, Tuesday, or Friday, he would then go to work. He is a counter clerk at a little cafe and sandwich shop in the next suburb over, "The Wee Nook.” On those days he pulls a twelve-to-four shift, taking orders and making coffee for the chic suburban matrons of the area. He's very good at his job, and he's popular with the customers. For one thing, he’s boyish and handsome, and hid body is in great shape, and the customers frequently put quite respectable tips in the jar on the counter.
His boss, Ms. Lisa Grandview, has tried to promote him to manager three times, but each time he’s demurred. He does not want to be in any position that might give him authority. At first, Ms. Grandview had been quite perplexed, but then Ivy Ann had a chat with her, and everything was settled. “Of course,” Ms. Grandview had said. "It's so natural."

But today is Wednesday, so instead he goes to the gym. It is his duty to keep fit and trim for his wife. Three times a week he exercises briskly, and he is constantly on a diet. In fact, today he skips lunch entirely. He mustn't chunk up, he knows.
Finished, he showers. Now, if our spy had followed him to the gym, and even somehow managed to look into the men's showers, she would have been amazed again. She’d notice that each of Bobbi's nipples has been pierced and there is a small golden ring in each of them. As the soap covers his chest he winces in pain, but also feels them grow erect under his fingers. He gives himself a playful tweak on both.
Once done he rushes home. He prepares dinner. She usually allows him to decide on the menu. It is one of his little freedoms. So he turns to it. Tonight it will be something a little more elegant than usual. It is a little  tradition they have. They call it “the Wednesday Night Special.” Tonight it will be a small steak that he’s carefully prepared.
He also prepares the bedroom.
When everything is ready, he dresses in something nice. Sometimes, when they are being formal, it is a suit. Sometimes she prefers a costume. He has several. Her favorite is The Delivery Boy. Tonight, though, he has been told to go almost nude. He will wear a tight, spandex swimsuit and nothing else. He squeezes into them, his testicles and penis becoming a tight bulge beneath the cloth.
She arrives home. He hurries to the door to meet her. When she is in, he drops once more to the floor and touches her shoe. “Up," she says, slightly impatiently. He is quick to rise. "God," she says, "I'm tired. Long day."
He takes her things and follows her to the front room. She sits in the big chair and he brings her a drink. Then he puts on music and sits attentively on the sofa. She tells him about her day. “We have this really awful graduate student. He is older, and he has the fantastic idea that I should treat him with respect." He listens and is very careful to murmur soft agreements.
When she is ready for dinner, he serves her. If she is pleased with him, she nods, and he sits and eats.
"Very good,” she says finally. Then he pours her a glass of wine and she goes to the bedroom. He quickly takes care of the dishes. He already has an erection. It pushes painfully into the cloth of the spandex suit.
He waits until he hears her ring the bell beside her bed. He quickly enters the bedroom. She is standing at the end of the room. She wears black panties and an open cup corset, and on her feet arc stilettos. “Down,” she commands.
Once more he sinks to the ground. He places his forehead on the carpet.
“Crawl,” she commands. He slowly makes his way across the room, keeping his face to the floor. He reaches her feet. He kisses them.
“Who am I?” she demands.
He raises his lips from her toe. "You are my empress.”
“And?”
"My mistress and my master."
"Forever?”
"Forever, my Lady.”
She allows him to rise to his knees. “Use your teeth,” she says.
Tenderly, keeping his hands at his sides, he uses his teeth and lips to pull her black panties down her thighs. He is very, very careful.
"Lick."
His tongue darts into her vagina. He touches her clit once, then pulls away. He begins again, this time at the base of her vagina and moves slowly up its long length. Once more he comes to the clit. He stimulates it with long, lingering licks.
“Good boy,” she pats his head. “Now,” she sits on the bed, “come here.”
At her direction, he climbs into the bed and lies on his back. She quickly ties his hands to the bedposts with short lengths of blue cloth. Once he is helpless, she climbs atop him and leans down to his face. Her breasts are above him. "Pleasure me,” she commands.
Sometimes straining against the bonds, he lifts his head up to her nipples. His tongue touches them and licks desperately. “That’s a good boy,” she says. “Keep at it.”
She lowers herself down into his face. His lips and mouth close on first one nipple and then the other. Left, right, left, right!
She rears up again, scoots backwards on his body until she is sitting on his groin. She reaches forward and takes his small, man’s nipples between her fingers. “Your turn,” she says. With a gasp, he feels her fingers close on his nipples. There is a burst of pain as she touches the gold rings that pass through them. He whimpers. But it is pleasure rather than pain. He feels his nipples grow almost as hard as hers.
She shifts back further still. She is now astride his legs. She reaches forward and takes his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other. She holds them, not so hard that it hurts, but firmly enough that he knows she could hurt him if she wishes.
“Who am I?” she asks again.
“My lady and master," he replies.
“And what have you promised to do?”
“To love, honor and obey you.”
"Excellent."
And then she repositions herself. She feeds his penis into her vagina. “Stay still!" she warns him. He obeys.
For a moment, they are still. Then, slowly, slowly, she rolls herself forward, taking him deeper and deeper within her. She rolls back, crushing his testicles with her buttocks. She rolls forward, and then she moves to first one side and then the other.
He moans.
"Still!" she commands again. He stays still, utterly passive.
Then she moves faster. And faster! She rolls forward and back! She moves from side to side! He moans in helpless delight!
Suddenly she rears her head back and roars! She has her orgasm! She is dominant and triumphant! She is his master! And her body explodes with the pleasure! And with conquest!

Then she tenses her vagina one last time. He feels her crush his manhood deep within her. And he comes! He feels himself explode upward into her! His mind vanishes in a great flash of pleasure! He is hers! He is utterly hers!
He is mindless. She rolls off him.
In time, she releases him. They sleep together in each others' arms.