Coushatta LaRue's Blog, page 9

Almost time to publish my second novel!

I finished it last year my second novel. But my family was struggling financially and in other ways so I to put off publishing it. Things are better now and not perfect but better. I’m definitely grateful for that. We have edited the book quite a lot and I finally finished formatting. That was difficult. I got InDesign but didn’t realize how expensive it was. Honestly it’s ridiculous paying that much for something every single year. I just got for one month. It’s just that so publishing is already so expensive you’re spending more money than you’re making spending extra money on that program kind of Downing.

Anyway I followed Hugh Howie’s formatting videos YouTube. Definitely helped me a lot but I still struggled quite a lot with formatting. I think I got it. Hopefully it’s finished right. All I have to do now is uploaded on CreateSpace. The cover that I want it’s a bit expensive so I’m going to probably get a different one that’s still expensive but not as much as the other one. It’s sad and disappointing but honestly financially it’s not good here. I also have to get the marketing products which wont be cheap. I know I’m spending more than I’m going to make…

Honestly it’s depressing. But writings my passion and I love to tell stories and have others read them. And enjoy them as much as I do. I know once I get noticed all of the struggle will be worth it. But of course my thoughts are constantly filled with… when will that happen? Support is something I need very badly. But you know what the worst thing is about self-publishing? That you think your family and friends will be right there behind you 100%. But they aren’t. Only a few family and friends actually care the other don’t give a damn. I basically have to beg and guilt trip just to get a like on Facebook for one of my book post. It’s depressing and pathetic… because that’s for my own family and friends. I’ve seen more support from strangers and people at work than anything and that said.

I guess the first thing with self-publishing you have to accept that you’re hardly going to get any support from family and friends. It’s very difficult yes it’s depressing. But I have to accept it and let it go. I’m going to remember the ones who were there for me from the beginning. And those who will pretend that they’ve been there for me since the beginning after I become a bestseller will they better not be surprised when I ignore them. They can try to call me stuck-up or something but honestly you weren’t there for me when I really need it support so why should I ignore you now? I know that sounds mean but anyone who self-publish or try to start their own business knows how difficult it is and knows how much support they need to get established.

I just have to learn to let that go and accept that I’m not going to get a lot of support from people who are supposed to care about me. And just focus on those people who care about me and support me. They matter the most. I know I have to do most of marketing in supporting myself. And I know I can I just have to make sure I get a good marketing plan before I publish this next book. I need to get known and out there. I also need to fix the formatting for my first book it’s not terrible but it’s not perfect.

I have a lot I have to do. I need to start prioritizing better. I know I can get noticed sooner if I do things right like marketing and getting my name out. Anxiety and anti-socialness hurts me badly. I’m trying really hard to grow self-confidence and self-esteem. Trying to build myself up better so I can help myself better.

Life is okay. I have a job not what I want to do for the rest of my life but I’m grateful for it. I seem to be writing better and hoping to put out some more short novels later this year. I’ve been studying business is also. I want to open my own doggie daycare boarding Center. I’m trying to save money for that. Saving money is very difficult because my family’s Financial stuff is not great. I’m definitely stressing constantly about money and I hate it. Once I pay off my car it’ll be better. I can’t wait for the day I have my own boss it’s going to be a beautiful amazing day. I’m going to keep believing that all happened because it will. Because I have no will our wish to have any other life but Be My Own Boss.

The Ashes of Amour will be out soon and I’m so excited and proud of myself. I know I feel like I haven’t done much and I feel disappointed in myself a lot and like a loser but I’m not. I’ve done a lot and I should be proud of myself and I’m learning to love myself. I’m definitely looking forward to this.

Second novel coming soon!

I know I finished The Ashes of Amour last year but we went through many struggles last year. It kept me from doing much with my writings. However, things are better and I am going through The Ashes of Amour again. Trying to edit it as best as I can. Then we will work on formatting it. I have the cover picked out so that is something. It is badass! Works so well with the novel.

So maybe in next month I will have it published. First I must work on a good marketing plan. That is what I have failed on. I have no excuse this year! Though money is super tight… yet I will find a way. It is still difficult now… but I want my novels out there! People to read them and be entertained. Someday I will be a best seller!

But first I must work on marketing! Otherwise I’ll never get known. My other plans is to publish short novels…the more I get out the more likly I will get known. I have a notebook with ideas… just have to write.

I’ve been trying to just focus on The Ashes of Amour right now. But I have started other series… even the third book of the Amour series! Honestly just have to stop being lazy and just write!!!! It is my dream. I am the only one who can make it real.

So hopefully I’ll have the second novel out soon!! I am very proud of myself for finishing two books! Seems so impossible! But I did it.I know I have a lot to learn about writing but I know I am getting better everyday.

Yes. I am still here.

I know I haven’t posted anything in awhile. This year has been very difficult for I and my family. However I’m getting things rolling again. I’m going to focus more on marketing. Because I haven’t done any of that almost all year. Except pass around a few cards. I finished The Ashes of Amour months ago. I’m going to try to format it. Because honestly I don’t have the money to hire anyone which sucks but oh well.

I’m probably going to publish it next month even though I want to do it now. But I really want to get a nice cover and not just make one myself. I’ve already started on the third book and I’m into it really well. I’m very proud of myself and excited about this series. I’m also excited about my other series I’m writing. Honestly it might sound selfish but I have wonderful stories and very entertaining ones. I do wish I could write better though. I know with dyslexia and dysgraphia and not so great education. I’m not the greatest writer but I’m learning every day. And someday I’ll be able to for tutoring.

This year wasn’t very good but I’m very grateful for all the friends who were by my side during difficult times. I’ve lost some things in this year and that’s okay it’s better that way. Next year I’m focusing on working out more. I’ve been working out well this year but I’m going to do more soon. Because I just want a healthy life and a healthy body. And even though I’ve lost weight and feel better. I could be doing so much better I’m still very lazy and don’t push myself enough.

I want to release more books next year. I just have to make sure I don’t let anything distract me.

One of my biggest flaws is being negative and self-doubt. And letting myself be distracted by things. I’m just going to do me and focus on being healthy and writing. Even though honestly I wish I certain things others do, like a relationship. But I know that would just distract me.

This month I’ve been lazier than any other. Mostly due to anxiety and how busy I am at other job. Even when I want to do something like hang out with people or go somewhere my anxiety drains me so badly. That I don’t want to do anything and I get these body aches and headaches. Thinking about maybe taking anxiety medicine but I’m not sure.

I’m very grateful for all the things that I have right now. My father got a job and even though we’re still struggling things are good and better. I have a lot of worries and anxieties and stresses. But I’m doing well at staying positive. I know I’m not where I want to be, I’m not even close. But I’m writing and I will publish more. And I’m studying for a Doggy Daycare business. Plus I’ve been working out more. I know what I want and going forward even though sometimes the what ifs make me sad.

Somedays are difficult and I just want to stay in bed. But I allow myself to cry or feel sad and hopeless. But I make sure I lift myself up after that and tell myself I can do it and I will make it. Even though no one knows about me or my writing. Someday I’ll be a bestseller, people will know my books. Will enjoy my stories and hopefully see them on the big screen someday. And I’ll have the biggest best Doggie Daycare in all of Texas too. All I can do is believe that so it’ll keep me going.

I know I don’t know what’s going to happen and I need to stop worrying about that. But it’s scary. But I’m just trying to focus on writing and having a healthier life. Laziness is definitely a hard habit to break but I know I’m the only one who can make myself do anything.

I can’t wait to publish The Ashes of Amour. And finish the third book. I’m extremely proud of myself. Sometimes I can’t even believe I actually wrote a book. It’s a good feeling but I have to remind myself of.

Update on what has been going on.

I haven’t been marking or updating for a while. Sorry about that. Things have been very stressful for I and my family. My second novel The Ashes of Amour is finished but at the moment I cannot afford to publish it yet. It bums me out and I hate it. But, it will be released hopefully sometime this year. Just I am very stressed out and down right now and it is hard to do much.

I am going to start writing on the third book of the Amour series. I am not sure of a name yet but I have the story. I’ve been thinking about it for awhile. So, I will be trying to work on that and other projects. But, it maybe a while before I finish anything or publish again because of the stress that I am going through. I wish I could release my second novel but sadly just cannot yet.

So that is what has happened. I am still here and trying to write. Just struggling with the stresses going on in my life right now.

Thank you

Half way through editing my second novel!

Well kinda! I am over a hundred pages into it. Sometimes I really love the story other times I’m just like gosh I’m the worst writer ever! But I know doubt is just created by fear. I really enjoy this series. I’m already excited about starting the next novel in it.

I wish my words would come out as good as they are when I hear them in my head. I know some days I feel I write really great other day it is okay. Some days you feel it some days you don’t. And that is ok. That’s why you do a lot of revision. I’m slowly starting on my other series and trying to start a tween novel. I just cannot wait to have The Ashes of Amour in my hands!

I have all these ideas in my head for horror novels and action novels. And I always play through them in my head like movies and I enjoy them and I even get shocked when twist happens. It’s funny I’ll impressed myself when I do that. Yet sometimes when I go to write I just stare at the blank page on the screen wondering what the heck I’m supposed to do.

I know it’ll be okay as long as I just start typing. But I really need to hurry and start writing more. I know slow and steady is good and I shouldn’t try to hurry with anything. And I’m not. But the fear of waiting just really gets to me sometimes. I want to more out there… I feel so lazy at times.

The other day I was working out and watching True Blood and the main character Sookie was explaining something to her ex vampire lover Bill. She was talking about being on a ride and how it wasn’t scary but the wait for the ride was. She said she didn’t know when they were going to drop them or how long it would last. And she said that was the worst part… the wait.

I completely agree with her. I’m terrified of the wait. How long am I going to have to wait until I have my dream job? How long am I going to have to wait until I’m out of retail? How long am I going to have to wait until my books take off and people start noticing me? How long is it going to take to get into shape? How long is the wait?

  The wait is extremely terrifying. Because even though you know you’ll get through things or that you’re strong and you were able to overcome things before. You don’t know how long it’s going to last before you do. The ‘how long is it going to take’ before my books get noticed is something that really sinks deep. I have a job now and I’m grateful but it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life. The ‘how long is it going to take’ to get out of that and into what I really want to do… That wait crushes me bad somedays.

I know all I can do is just write and market as best as I can. And just not worry about the future or things I cannot change. Some days I can and it’s okay. Other days I’m sitting there staring at something just wondering how long I’m going to have to be there. There’s these worlds in my head that I just love and there’s these people that I know in my head that I adore. I know other people would too. And I know that’s kind of conceited but if there’s anything that I’m actually confident about it’s my stories and the worlds that I create.

I know I have to be brave and confident and just keep writing. I may not be the greatest writer but I am good and my stories are good. I’ll get better as I write more. Someday I’ll be able to say I make a living off of writing. It may not be soon or maybe it will I don’t know. I just have to believe it will and that I’ll be okay and just keep writing and never stop. Just because I stumble and fall sometimes does not mean it is forever. Just because the wait seems like forever does not mean it will be.

I hope.

I am still here! Small update.

I am editing my second novel and it is going slow. But, it is going! I am on chapter five and that is something. I need to start editing more though! Because more I put out the more likely I will be noticed. I need to start another series I have a lot planned out. I am excited about all of them but I need to focus on just one of them. Life has been more positive for me even with a lot of negative around for us.

Hopefully things will get better though. I changed a few things in my first novel just some intro things. Things that need to be left behind… they meant something at the time but not it means nothing. I hope soon I can get my first novel formatted so it can look better. My sells have been slow and that bums me out but they haven’t fully stopped. I understand self-publishing is going to be very hard. It will cost me more than I gain. But, someday I will gain more! Someday I will be on the best seller list!! I WILL! I have to believe.

I really need to write though… spending time with family now after a very good workout. My two days off must be full of editing !

I finished my second novel!

As I was talking to my Grandmother on the phone I finished my second novel! The Ashes of Amour! The second novel in the Amour series. I am very happy I am finally finished. Ugh! It took me over a week to finish the last chapter. It is not that I did not know how it ended it is just I had no will. Stupid writers block…

Anyway I wrote The end and I am so happy! And now… the revising and editing and proofreading. The fun part… I also will be looking for good package deals for editors/formating deals. I am not sure if I will try to make my own cover or not. But, I want this novel to look very professional!

Not sure how long it will take but I am happy I am done. I am proud of myself. Just wish I could actually start making money. I know that is not most important. But I really want to make a career out of writing…

I know I have to have patience… but right now it is so hard. Things are rough right now and it has not been easy. And I do not believe it will get better anytime soon and that upsets me. I really REALLY NEED SOME luck right now… if my book could somehow rocket into popularity now… it would be so wonderful.

Really wonderful…[image error] really happy for all I have but we need some luck right now.

Now… on to editing! And soon to start a new series! :)!

Coming soon. The Noble Saga.

“An old threat resurfaces on Earth shaking the world with a sinister plan. A private investigator takes on the challenge of stopping them for good. But with time and insanity not on her side, Amy Wicker must fight to keep her chances of taking this threat down high. As time starts to run out blood and lies begin to drown Amy Wicker. Will she be able to prevail and take down an old enemy? Or will her own demons destroy her before she can?”

My new series I  am working on that I have had in my head for years. It is a sci-fi, drama, action, and suspense series. It’ll have four novels to it. I’m really excited about it. It’ll be a brutal cruel novel with a lot of lessons to learn. I’m just hoping I’ll be able to write it as I see it in my head. Somehow things never sound as good as they are in my head.

But I know I’m just very judgmental about my work just as most writers are. I’m going to try to finish the Ashes of Amour this week. I should have finished it last week but it will be done. I need to focus on marketing better and promoting my stuff more. But sometimes I don’t even know where to start. It’s difficult to self-publish and I wish I had more help or better knowledge of it. I try to research and study up on it but really it’s a difficult thing.

You either make it or you don’t. Any moment someone could look at my novel and tell others and suddenly it takes off with sells. Or they can be ignored forever. It’s extremely sad and sometimes discouraging. But I love writing and I love what I do. I can only hope that someday I can live off my writing. Though I’d really love to open a doggie daycare too[image error]

My dogs are my babies and it would be awesome to have a daycare. I have big dreams and of course I am scared I will never see them become real. I know time is everything… still fear always is with me.

I have so many stories in my head from years ago and even now. I wish I could just write all of them right now. Yet I have little patience. Sometimes it’s just so hard to get it written. I want it just as perfect as I see it in my head but it’s hard to do that. And then I also don’t know which one to write on. Like which one could become most popular. You never know what someone’s going to like or what will launch off suddenly. I’d like to focus on a child’s story or tween. Those are very popular.

I’m excited about finally starting this new series (well not new series to me but to others). I really want to be able to make it beautifully awesome. The lack of sales from my other novel makes me bummed out but I just have to keep trying and writing and hopefully soon maybe things will take off.

 

Trying to stay positive.

I’m almost finished with my second novel The Ashes of Amour. And I’m really excited and happy about that. I definitely love this second novel even more. I’m hoping others will too. I know which series I want to do after this one and I’m working on it right now. I really love it. The story is going to be about aliens and a lot of drama and crazy sci-fi.

I’ve been kind of bummed out because I’ve not had any sales this month. My friends and family have bought the novel and a few people who know someone who knows me. And I’m grateful for that but no one else knows me so no one’s really going to give me a chance. I know with more reviews I’ll have a bigger chance of people buying my novel. No I no negative reviews will come soon. Which will be heartbreaking but it’s part of the business. I don’t want to beg for reviews but it’s very difficult to get them. Even from friends and family. They don’t really seem to want to make time to do that. I’m grateful for the ones who have.

I’m trying to focus on paying my car off quickly. But I need to save some money up so that I can fix my first novel. The formatting isn’t perfect and I need to add page numbers. I think the more professional at it looks the better chances I have of people buying it.

I know this takes time but it kind of bums me out. I’m doing what I love but I can’t live off of it yet. Sometimes I wonder if I’m ever going to be able to. And it’s very sad. I love to write and I love to see my things on the big screen. I also would love to make comics and video games and someday TV shows. But I’m always wondering what if? It can be depressing. I have no idea what’s going to happen. I also want to own a Doggy Daycare but I don’t know if that’s ever going to happen.

I don’t know what the future holds and it’s scary. I know what I want and I’m trying to get that. But I feel like it’s never going to come because the fear of what if is there. I’m focusing on trying to work out more and eating better and writing more. I’m doing well but I think I need to do better. I’ll be done with my novel this month and that’s exciting. I just hope more positive things come. I’m grateful for all I have now but I know I meant for more.

The Ashes of Amour…