Sharada Subramanian's Blog, page 7

Black and Blue.

The golden rays of the sun dawned upon my window.

A time when I trembled to see my own shadow

My dress ran like chiffon, with flowers covered in black and blue.

Little did they know my skin had the same kind of hue.

I was naïve, stupid and flustered, all at twenty one.

How was I to know that he wasn’t the one?

Floor ran red because of my legs that he spread.

The clock struck seven, I returned to my heaven.

Why did I stay? You ask. It wasn’t easy wearing the joker’s mask.

I begged, on his feet that I fell. Nothing tasted as bitter as this hell.

Let go of me please, my body said. Enough it was been fed.

The mind refused to give up, fresh coffee and tears filled my morning cup.

An old shawl, rattling fan and a broken stool; Oh dear, I was nothing but a fool.

I tied my hair with a bow, a summer when my mind was filled with snow.

Looked at him in the eye and I knew it was time to say goodbye.

Dusted my butt, put on red lipstick and here I ‘am looking nothing less than majestic.

Oh dear, never say never…!

Quotes come and go, let’s not complicate this more.

You aren’t mine and I am not yours, lets open the unused doors.

Love, lust and they clap; Oh please, let’s not believe in such crap.

In a world full of need and greed, in us lies my creed.

We are not forever my dear, but your soul will be my souvenir.

Say my name, let me hear it. It’s better on vapour than on a piece of paper.

I don’t promise you a tomorrow, but our now will be anything but sorrow.

Let this not slide and let this not grow, lets this not but smell of fresh coffee brew.

We are not mild as the flies or wild as the elephants, we are as basic as the bonobos.

We don’t share a finger or the neck, but without you my mind is a wreck.

I don’t want to wake up with you in the morning, the vacuum you create is loathing.

Your face is not the last I see in the night, in my life, you are the only twilight.

Karma is all about drama, let’s ditch the social stigma.

Destiny or not is a far cry, let’s just get wet and dry.

Let’s not dig into our history , dear what’s life without some mystery.

We aren’t meant to be together, but darling never say never.

Wolf talks…!

When I’m on my fours and there is no remorse;

You come from behind like the darkness in the wild.

Snarl at me and stab me gently, for the night will not glide.

Tear the ridges of my fingers, thorough their gaps I will slide.

Treat me not mild and easy, for moderate is a symbol of passé.

As you climb on me, my legs tremble and my bones crumble.

Take me for a ride, for I shall die with some pride.

As I watch you devour my soul, you take me back to the black hole.

My heart does pound; I will run until you start to hound.

Feast on my flesh as I serve thee something fresh.

Start with my lip, run through the tip and don’t stop with my hip.

As lay on a bed of grass, your body shines like a throne of brass.

Oh dear, as you go down, so does the sun.

As I watch you enter the temple in the center.

As I look for places to hide, you start to fill my cup inside.

Destroy the evidence of my life, from the ashes I will rise.

September rain…!

I’m not your September rain. I’m the December snow.

I’m not the best bloomed rose in your garden. I’m the leaves of the autumn.

I’m not the perfect rainbow. I’m the missing pieces of the half moon.

I’m not the laced wedding cake by the window. I’m the crumbs of the broken cookie.

 

I’m not a well-made satin bed. I’m the cushion on the floor.

I’m not your 11’ O clock dream. I’m your 4 am shooting star.

I’m not your yearly calendar. I’m your February 29 th .

I’m not the French window with a view. I’m the crack of the glass that oozes sunshine.

 

I’m not your melody, rock or the morning raga. I’m the sound of the forest.

I’m not your shakespheare and Tolstoy. I’m the last page scribbling of your notebook.

I’m not vodka, tequila or wine. I’m the last drop of mist stuck on a rock.

I’m not the white gown on the aisle. I’m the torn pieces of wilderness.

 

I’m not the dusk or the dawn. I’m the confused evening twilight. 

I’m not your well-toned abs. I’m the scar on your shoulder.

I’m not Berlin, Paris or New York. I’m the lone hut by the mountains.

I’m not the woman from Venus. I come from the galaxy of broken stars.

 

I’m not the landscape, lakes and lusciousness. I’m the crooked road leading to infinity.

I’m not the pages of your novel. I’m the crumbled bits of paper in the corner.

I’m not your sculpted dream body. I’m made of mountains, rivers and forest that grow deep.

I’m not your seven sins. I’m the nerve that sews through your soul.

 

I’m not your perfectly timed pout. I’m the chipped toe nail polish.

I’m not the unending tresses. I’m the knots of hair at the end.

I’m not the vulture or the peacock. I’m the one legged nightingale by the window.

I’m not love, lust or greed. I’m the depth of your core.

 

I’m not fair, slim and beautiful. I’m a broken piece of china.

I’m not your past, present or future. I’m your now. 

I’m not your piece of modern art. I’m the paint stuck on your sleeves. 

I’m nothing of what you need. I’m everything of what you want.

No minion in writing, this girl.

Author Spotlight.


KAVIPRIYA MOORTHY



Wearing your passion on your sleeve is not something everybody would do and whoever does it, I have immense respect and love for them. One such person is Kavipriya Moorthy. An avid blogger who turned out to be an author by choice and not by chance. Writing has been a passion for her for a long time and the book was incubated in her mind for quite sometime before she decided to give it a try. Apart from writing, she is all things sweet. Kindhearted. Loves to eat and wants to be born as a minion in her next birth.



A brief on her’ 

A typical Chennaite, who does window shopping in T. Nagar, goes crazy about actor Surya, listens to peppy songs while traveling and takes thrill by going for rides in theme parks. Right after schooling, She followed the flock and joined Engineering, She never regrets and after all the ‘outstanding’, arrears, records, placements, she finally passed. These four years changed her panorama of life and vowed enough “me” time. She attained enough notice for good dialect; it just didn’t stop there, she observed and penned emotions easily and was inclined to share it with others too. Writing was like quicksand, the minute she picked it, she felt deeper every day. She is social and her Firefox will always have Facebook in a tab, but mostly she uses it to pen her work and post on her pages. She nurtures young writers and she is very glad to be a part of it.

She is Witty, a sensitive narcissist, partially funny and completely fun! 

On her first book’

My book “I don’t wear Sunscreen,” is a simple and straight chick lit, that talks about the 16 to 24 years of a person’s life. Life drags a person to the least possible negativity before it thrusts one to shine – this is the base string on which the story is knit. The story has utterly cute love embedded, parental care, friendship and career insights of a person. I wanted to do this book, as I relate easily. I have done enough research and am satisfied with the shape now.

I did have a small chat with her and had few questions in mind for which she was her witty self.

What is it that u enjoy the most about being a writer ?

There is a voice within me; it is totally biased to what I think is right. It keeps talking to me, pesters me to write on what gives a sheer strike. Most often, its worth writing. I enjoy this engaging, peaceful and pampering talk within the prompt and writer in me. If I had not turned a writer, I would have turned a deaf ear to it.



How has writing changed your perception towards life?

A lot. I have torn my innocence. I was able to see life from a totally different spectacles. My hard past is not hard anymore. Am happy that I found my solace in writing.



As a writer what do u think is the biggest challenge u face?

I take my own time. I can’t force myself to write when am free and I can’t stop myself from writing when am busy. It takes a writing spark to do. I wish, if I could write whenever I find time, it would be great. This is the only challenge I want to overcome, otherwise, am learning vocabulary and grammar day by day, which will knock my next challenge in line.



They say women authors re sexy and bisexual, why do u think s o?


Women in general think a lot, but it takes a triggering point to let them spill all that runs in their mind. Women value thughts, feelings and emotions more than men. Women fantasy  sex than men. Women authors are definitely sexy and their thought process would out-beat any count of grey ;) Until and unless it harms none, be however you want is what I believe. Women authors are damn sexy and being bisexual would add more value I guess!

She blogs @ www.yoursprofessionally.com, www.preethinakshatra.wordpress.com, and to view her author profile, simple click www.kavipriyamoorthy.vpweb.in. If you want to buy her book (which i do know you want to) , do click on this link and it will take you to the seller websites. https://notionpress.com/read/i-don-t-wear-sunscreen.

Wishing Kavi the best of everything in life.

Much love,

Sharada

Kick the bucket!

When I was five, my bucket list was to get on my dad’s back and order him to carry me around. At the age of ten, I wanted to learn Carnatic music and Bharatanatyam. When I hit 15, I wanted to marry Nick from Boy zone. When I was 21, I wanted to go to the movies, do dinners and look cool. At 26 I wanted to travel. At 30, I wanted to start living.

That’s how the bucket list changed from time to time. I bet yours kept changing too. We all wished for different things at different age. When in Rome, the bucket list would be to visit India and when in India, the bucket list would be visiting Paris.

The list keeps getting longer and before we know it, the 1st page of the list would be long forgotten. The items like ‘make friendship with someone new today’ when we were 17 and ‘fall in love’ when we were 24 wouldn’t make it to the top 5. Our bucket list would be to buy a house and once you buy a house the next would be to buy a house by the beach. Once you strike off buying a car, you would want to buy the Audi. But did you take a rain-check on those items that never got upgraded? Or rather didn’t need an up gradation. Things like making friends, falling in love, being nice, helping someone in need and eating a family dinner, did you check these off your list or they went down on the priority as the others took more importance?

We are so busy adding items to the list that we forget to see the most important things in life are outside the list. Most of the bucket lists include traveling to a particular place, eating a particular food, buying a luxury car and so on. But really, are these what makes up life to be? We are so caught up in the race to check off items in the list that we often fail to invest that much time in ourselves and people around us.

You have a new item on the list – “Scuba diving in Thailand” and miss all the dinners and lunches with friends around to save up for the trip. You get to Thailand, do your scuba diving and take videos, photos and post it online, get likes and comments and you’re on a high for few days and then? What are you doing the following week? Planning on your next item on the bucket list?

I agree having a goal is needed for you to achieve it. Unless you have an aspiration to do something or go somewhere, you will never work towards it. But, that’s not the end of all. There is more to life, more than just a list of things to do on a piece of paper. Ever wondered your parents list? your loved ones list?  When you were so busy planning your next item, they were busy planning yours too. You see, the item on their list was YOU. How does that feel? Being the bucket list of someone else? Good right? But you know what feels great? Having someone on your list! That’s when the circle of life is complete.

Unless you have the urge and passion to do something in return for someone, what is the purpose of life my dear? It could be small or big, I don’t know. Start doing, but before you start doing, start noticing what others do for you. You will be amazed to know how much you are loved. The sense of gratification in doing things for others to see them happy is a high that no alcohol can match up to. Always focus on keeping yourself happy and permeating that happiness to others around.

I remember my bucket list having things like straight five T-shots in a row to wearing a LBD to buying a car. For the record, I did all all of them and checked it off my list but what next? I was left empty again. A sense of belonging and satisfaction didn’t sink in. I came back to square one. What do I want next! Wasn’t sure, didn’t get a grip of things I wanted until I knew things weren’t the ones I wanted. It took time to understand the things that mattered in life and how those things aren’t the ones that we go after. The best moments in life are the ones that are never on the bucket list! It’s those small, intense, funny, passionate, stupid moments that make together into something called life!

So take time to look outside the bucket list. Life is where you don’t see it to be. Live right here, live right now. Tomorrow is for the sunshine and sunset. You and I can aren’t immortal, so let’s keep life that way! You and I will perish one day, until then let’s cherish the moments we get to experience. Be it a flower blooming or a bug making love or helping our granddad with his medicines or changing someone else’s life, they all make up together as life!

Fill your bucket with love, hope, faith and belief. That is all that’s needed to live another day. For everything else, there is MasterCard.

Dear you!

Dear you,

I don’t know when but I suddenly noticed that I have moved a mile, and I see a piece missing, not sure if it’s yours or mine. I don’t know how it happened and why but when I look back, the dots connect very indefinably. It is all blurry but then I understand that’s how it is supposed to be. I don’t know when you got off on the way and how I didn’t even realise you were actually missing but still held on to your hand in my mind. Your physical absence wasn’t felt until I knew my mental presence wasn’t with me.

Didn’t we like each other? Or was that my illusion of us? Where did it all go wrong? Did you try to analyse? Oh well, why would you right? I was always there with you and for you and you being there with me was mistaken that you are there for me as well. There is a difference isn’t? Being there for me and with me has a huge difference between them. We all have so many people with us but merely very few are for us among them.

You were my distant best friend and yet my most loved lover. I saw so much of me in you but only now did I know that I was looking at my version of you and not you as such. Remember that dinner we all went together? When I secretly wished a spot to sit next to you? Also, the movie that we went to and I tried on ten different outfits to ensure I look my best. Why? Because I wanted to like myself thinking you will like me too. Silly, right? Well, who said love isn’t?

You know what? All those get-togethers, those group dinners, outings etc, I always longed to be around just you. The crowd dint seem to matter for me to make love to your eye. When you looked back at me, I thought it meant the same, but the stupid me forgot for a moment that eyes are primarily used to see people. While you saw me, I saw your soul. Well, it’s ok!

I locked myself indoors for days; I was ashamed to see anyone. People kept consoling me like I lost a dear one forever. I didn’t know if the feeling was similar, but the fact was that I was devastated. I wanted to hold hand-in-hand with your forever. See the sunrise and sunset with you beside me. I wanted to be the last face you see before you go to bed and the first… Oh well, you know the drill. There are way too many social media content churning the same crap. Let me not bore you enough already!

I wanted all of the above, there is no denial. But how long could I lock myself up within four walls? What was my objective? What was I thinking? No offence meant, but look at you all suited up for your next date and here im blowing my nose thinking of the so called never existed ‘US’. I need a slap from myself.

I still love you with all that passion and sincerity that I did when you were mentally present in my head. I really do. Just because I realised there is no scope of you to love me back doesn’t make mine a worthless one. I walked beside you and now I walk alone. I carried you with me all along, I must admit, you were a baggage at times! There were times when I wanted to leave you behind. Times when I wanted to hand you over to someone else. Times when I wanted to push you from the bridge. Times when I wanted to burn you alive and warm myself on a cold winter morning. And then there were times when I wanted to carry you within me, within me in a place that was known only to me. A place right at the core of soul, the core that composes the music for the heartbeat…

You refused to stay there, it suffocated you. You dint like it. You dint belong there. You wanted to be set free, but I held on to you not knowing you were suffering. I dint know you wanted to walk beside me and not run within. Was I cruel to you? Im sorry! Love blinded my soul as well. Im not sorry I loved you. It’s ok if you didn’t want to be a part of my journey. It’s ok if you wanted to get down in the middle. Maybe someone else’s journey was affordable for the soul you had. Maybe mine was a bit too expensive for you to travel in. That’s ok! I understand! I have learnt to live life without you in my mind.

I had my share of downs post my self-realisation of the non-existent you in my life. Actually when you think of it, it’s quite funny you know! Im breaking up with someone who had no relationship with me in the first place!

Im glad love grew in my heart. It’s not my business to make it grow in yours. Im content it grew in mine. It’s ok if you found someone else to fill the gap between your fingers. Im only happy for you! Just because I realised ours was never a relationship doesn’t mean it can never be anything else at all in the future. I would still see you, talk to you, meet you and go out with you. But, you will remain just like how everybody else around me is.

You would be a part of my journey just like everybody else is, but not the destination. You’ll be my 3 am friend but not my 10 pm dream catcher. You’ll be a part of thoughts but not my soul stirrer. You’ll be my sunrise and sunset but not the rainbow. You’ll be the stars through the night but not my sky. You’ll be my tsunami but not the waterfalls. You’ll be all things nice but not all things magical. You’ll be my most precious diamond but not the pearl of my ocean. You’ll be you and I’ll be mine.

Thanks for helping me grow love within me. Thanks for helping me realise im human enough too. Thank you for being a part of the journey in my soul. Its time you leave, for the vacuum you created is the heaviest I have ever felt, so heavy that it makes me fly.

Thank you, for you will be the reason I will find love again..!

With love,

Me.