Claudia Six's Blog: Erotic Integrity blog

Introducing the Dr. Six Intimacy Guide GPT

For more than three decades, Dr. Claudia Six has guided individuals and couples through the complex terrain of intimacy, connection, and erotic integrity. As a board-certified sex therapist, author, speaker, and clinical sexologist, she has dedicated her career to helping people navigate challenges in relationships with clarity, compassion, and expertise.

Now, Dr. Six is bringing that same wisdom to an innovative new platform: the Dr. Six Intimacy Guide GPT, a custom-built AI guide designed to share her insights in a new, accessible way.

What Is the Dr. Six Intimacy Guide GPT?

This custom GPT is a conversational tool that draws on Dr. Six’s 30+ years of experience in counseling, teaching, and writing about sex, intimacy, and relationships. It is designed to provide general psychoeducation—helping users explore common questions such as:

Is it normal for desire to change in a long-term relationship?How can couples navigate mismatched levels of intimacy?What does reconnection really look like after years of distance?How do life transitions, like menopause or empty nesting, affect intimacy?

 

Unlike a therapy session, the GPT does not offer diagnosis or personalized treatment. Instead, it delivers evidence-based, compassionate guidance rooted in the principles Dr. Six has shared for decades through her counseling practice, lectures, and her book Erotic Integrity.

Why Launch a GPT?

Dr. Six has always believed in meeting people where they are. In today’s world, many people turn first to the internet when they have a question about relationships or intimacy. While search engines can offer quick tips, the quality and credibility of that information varies greatly.

The Dr. Six Intimacy Guide GPT bridges that gap—providing a safe, respectful, and informative space for users to explore sensitive topics, while ensuring the answers are shaped by the expertise of a Board Certified (by the American Board of Sexology) professional.

This GPT is not a substitute for therapy, but it can serve as a first step:

Helping individuals put words to their struggles.Offering clarity around what’s “normal” in relationships.Encouraging partners to open conversations about connection, intimacy, and sexual wellness.Guiding users toward additional resources when deeper support is needed.

 

Who Is It For?

The GPT is designed for individuals and couples who:

Feel disconnected and want to reconnect with their spouse or partner.Wonder if what they are experiencing in their sex life or relationship is common.Are navigating transitions such as menopause, parenthood, or empty nesting.Simply want to learn more about intimacy, erotic integrity, and communication.

 

It is also a resource for anyone who has read Dr. Six’s work, attended one of her talks, or followed her blog, and wants a more interactive way to engage with her material.

A Note on Boundaries

It’s important to remember: the GPT is a psychoeducational tool, not a therapist. It cannot provide individualized treatment plans, crisis counseling, or medical advice. Instead, it offers thoughtful, research-informed insights in a conversational style that makes complex topics easier to understand and apply.

Try It for Yourself

We invite you to explore the Dr. Six Intimacy Guide GPT today. Whether you’re curious about intimacy, navigating a relationship challenge, or simply want to learn from a trusted expert, this tool offers a new way to connect with Dr. Six’s decades of wisdom.

Chat with the Dr. Six GPT Now (Chat-GPT account required. Don’t worry if you don’t have one. The next screen will help you set it up).

As always, if you feel you would benefit from personalized counseling, Dr. Six continues to offer private sessions to individuals and couples seeking deeper, tailored support. You may schedule a free consultation here.

Closing Thought
For more than 30 years, Dr. Claudia Six has helped people feel less alone in their struggles and more empowered in their relationships. With the launch of her GPT, that guidance is now more accessible than ever—meeting you right where you are, 24/7, with warmth, expertise, and clarity.

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Bodies on the Beach

Bodies never cease to amaze me. The variety of shapes, gaits and postures which reveal so much about our sexuality and sensuality.
Loose hips vs tight, hunched over to not take up too much space vs proud and regal, loose and comfortable vs stiff… All this translates to sex.

Here I am in Maui for a week with my young son. I’ve been here many dozens of times over the past 20 years. One of my closest friends lives here.
The first place I go, after renting my jalopy (to blend in and avert beach break-ins) is my favorite beach. There’s a semi-sheltered cove frequented predominantly by locals. Mostly moms with young children. Lucky children. Very different than my childhood in Paris. My son frolics joyfully here for hours, amid the giant prehistoric looking turtles that come and rest on the beach.
Children, turtles, turquoise water, blue sky: the new and the old, heaven for the eyes and senses.

And bodies. All kinds of bodies. Tanned, muscular, tattooed bodies of seemingly professional beach worshippers. Obese female bodies where the bikini bottom disappears under the folds of her huge belly. But she’s here, in a bikini, not hiding, enjoying herself with her family.
There’s the bony breast implanted body paired with the lean muscular mini Speedo sporting guy (known as a “banana hammock”). Likes attract. And she knows there’s an unspoken physical standard she has to uphold to keep her position by his side. But maybe she thinks that’s what she brings to the table.
There’s the sturdy mama whose 1 yr old keiki is climbing on her like a jungle gym. She seems unperturbed as she lays on her belly, reading a book.
And there’s the occasional sunburned tourist body, walking by, taking in the whole environment, getting their bearings. Maybe they’re from Kansas or someplace remote in every sense.
There’s the pretty blonde hippy mama with her gorgeous blonde beach kids, and the adonis partner. No wedding bands. I notice these things. I wonder how long their commitment will survive. It’s easy to be in love in paradise.
And the teenage girls struggling to ignore their self-consciousness by moving in pairs.

Men have the luxury of mostly being on automatic pilot regarding their bodies. They just inhabit them. Women on the other hand, assuming a heterosexual model, are constantly being judged for their bodies. Men assess them for how fuckable they are. Sorry but it’s true.
And women assess them as competition for resources. In other words, they size each other up as potential rivalry for the men.
So women’s bodies are constantly being judged.
And add to that self judgement. It’s tiring and tedious.

Bodies never cease to amaze me. How people carry themselves, how their bodies move, the degree of self love they might reveal. And how all this impacts how people show up sexually. That’s my lens on the world. People tell you about themselves, more than they know.
You can’t assume that because one fits the cultural standard of beauty one is fully expressed and uninhibited in bed. And vice versa.
How bodies evolve over time. And how our feelings about our bodies evolve over time. I’ve always said that self-acceptance correlates with age, which is handy as your ass is sliding down the back of your thighs.
Our bodies are where we live.

What has your journey with your body been like?

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What AI Can (and Can’t) Do for Sexual Health

Apparently there’s a common misconception these days that AI can replace a skilled sex therapist. Not! I’ll tell you why.

AI can give you active listening (paraphrasing your complaints so you feel heard), and specific suggestions (“If you have low libido rule out medical causes, decrease stress (duh!), talk about disconnection with your mate, read erotica , adjust your expectations” (yawn)…).

If you think this will fix the problem you’re kidding yourself. And maybe that’s what you want: to buy yourself some time, tell yourself that you tried and it’s the other person’s fault, maintain the status quo or move blithely on to the next failed relationship. That’s a popular option. I don’t mean to be negative; I’ve just been doing this a long time. I know what works and what doesn’t.

I have clients who see me through several relationships, until they do the real work.

The PLISSIT Model: Why AI Stops Short

In psychology, the PLISSIT model outlines four levels of intervention:

Permission: Validating concerns.Limited Information: Providing basic education.Specific Suggestions: Offering actionable advice.Intensive Therapy: Addressing deep-rooted issues.

AI can’t do the latter. And that is what is required for enduring change. AI can’t call you out on your crap, put simply.

AI can handle the first three, but intensive therapy—the key to enduring change—requires a human touch. AI can’t challenge your avoidance, hold you accountable, or navigate the emotional depth of sexual struggles.

The Human Advantage in Sex Therapy

Sex therapy involves complex emotional, relational, and cultural dynamics that demand empathy, intuition, and ethical judgment. And kindness. A skilled sex therapist like myself can:

Read Nonverbal Cues: Notice a quivering chin or fidgeting, adjusting the session in real-time and keeping you fully present in the moment.Build Trust and Rapport: AI can’t make you cry. Not that crying is the hallmark of effective therapy, but it’s an indication of vulnerability, of being willing to be seen and of the self-awareness that comes with an internal shift. AI can’t make you squirm nor give you goosebumps because you know you’re coming from the best in yourself.Handle Trauma Ethically: Ethical concerns arise—AI might mishandle sensitive data or oversimplify issues like sexual trauma, which impacts everyone differently. This strikes me as egregious and hugely irresponsible.Feel Genuine Care: AI can’t feel positive regard nor fondness for you. I can honestly say that I’m fond of my clients. I like them and care about them. And I respect them. I respect their struggle and their desire for growth. That is part of what connects us. AI doesn’t connect.

A sex therapist is trained to navigate complex psychological dynamics, trauma, and interpersonal conflicts, often in real-time, with a level of trust and rapport AI simply cannot replicate.

AI as a Starting Point, Not a Solution

Studies suggest 70% of people with sexual dysfunction avoid professional help, so AI can bridge that gap for some.

AI might be a helpful starting point, especially for basic education and minor issues, but complex cases need the human touch of a trained sex therapist. This training takes decades to perfect the subtleties of the craft. In my case an MA in Psychology, a PhD in Clinical Sexology, numerous courses and consultations with mentors in the field, and almost 35 years of experience.

Watch Dr. Claudia Six’s TEDx Talk on Sexual Health

Want to learn more about addressing sexual and relationship challenges? Watch my 11-minute TEDx talk: https://drsix.net/tedx-austin-south-congress-video-what-happened-to-sex-in-our-relationships/ .

Discover why human connection is vital for lasting change.

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TEDx Austin South Congress Video: What Happened to Sex in Our Relationships?

In her compelling TEDxSouth Congress talk, “What Happened to Sex in Our Relationships?”, clinical sexologist Dr. Claudia Six delves into the often-misunderstood connection between loneliness and sexual dissatisfaction in relationships. She argues that what appears as a sexual drought is frequently a symptom of deeper emotional disconnection, with issues like lack of commitment, infidelity, and poor communication all stemming from loneliness. Drawing from over 30 years of experience, Dr. Six introduces the concept of erotic integrity —knowing, accepting, and living authentically as a sexual being—as a powerful solution to heal both loneliness and sexual challenges, urging couples to focus on emotional connection over quick fixes.

Dr. Six uses vivid metaphors, like a relationship as a house with sex as mere roof tiles, to highlight the importance of addressing foundational issues such as unexamined beliefs, trauma, and communication breakdowns. Through relatable examples, like couples navigating empty nests or menopause, she illustrates how societal pressures and personal insecurities can exacerbate feelings of isolation. Her call to action is clear: by fostering open communication and embracing authenticity, individuals can transform their relationships and sex lives. This talk is a must-watch for anyone seeking to understand the emotional roots of sexual struggles and how to build deeper, more fulfilling connections.

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10 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Became a Sexologist

Sessions Are More About Feelings than Sex Positions. “Clinical sexology” might sound like I know every sex position under the sun, but what I do is actually pretty similar to couples’ therapy. In my practice, sessions are rarely about how to have more orgasms, or how to last longer in bed, or techniques to have better sex, though some sexologists might touch on those topics regularly. What I do is more like traditional talk therapy, except we’re talking about sex and relationships. You have to know the fundamentals of psychology and counseling in addition to knowing about sexuality. If you want to do hands-on work, become a sex surrogate or a dominatrix. Being a clinical sexologist is all talk, no action.People Will Assume You’re a Sex Freak. Call it an occupational hazard, but when you have a PhD in clinical sexuality, people make assumptions about your sex life. When I was single, this came up all the time — men assumed I had no boundaries, that I was totally uninhibited, or that I did it all the time. In some ways, it actually makes my dating life easier, because the people who are intimidated self select out very quickly.Potential Clients May Try to Use You for Phone Sex. Let’s get real: as a sexologist, you encounter clients who don’t quite understand the boundaries of your role. Some have inappropriate fantasies. With experience I’ve learned to kindly but unequivocally shut those down real quickly.Education and Certification Are Non-Negotiable. I’ve got a PhD in clinical sexology, but before that, I earned my master’s in counseling psychology. These credentials aren’t just for show. I wanted to learn how to do therapy before learning everything there is to know about sex, and then some. I put in the work to become an expert. It’s a tremendous responsibility when people are vulnerable and want to transform their lives. They often tell me things they’ve never told anyone. It’s a privilege to hold that space for them.Navigating Stigma Is Part of the Job. Sexology is still a field that carries some stigma, even in today’s more open society. People might laugh, judge, or just plain misunderstand what I do. But here’s the thing: part of being a sexologist is educating the public and helping to normalize conversations about sex. I’ve had to do this with family, friends, and even more so in professional settings. By being comfortable talking about my work, I set the tone that it’s ok to talk about such things. And honestly, it’s kinda fun to watch people squirm a little and then relax.Confidentiality is Sacred. Confidentiality is of paramount importance—it’s the foundation of trust in this profession. People come to me with their most intimate secrets, their deepest fears, and their most vulnerable moments. They need to know that what they share stays between us. I take this responsibility very seriously. Every session is confidential, and I make sure clients understand the limits of that confidentiality upfront (danger to self or others…). Without trust, therapy doesn’t work. Kinda like sex. It isn’t just a legal requirement; it’s an ethical one.Embracing Diversity is Essential. One of the most rewarding parts of my job is the incredible diversity of clients I get to work with. From different cultural backgrounds to various sexual orientations and gender identities, everyone brings their unique story to the table. To be effective, I have to be culturally competent and open-minded. Having a multi-cultural background myself, it’s easy to adjust to different cultural perspectives that don’t necessarily match mine, like what constitutes traditional gender roles or expectations. And diversity isn’t always obviously cultural nor ethnic, it’s also about what happens between the sheets: the diversity of turnons people have, and their sexual practices and preferences.Emotional Resilience Keeps You Going. Let’s talk about burnout—because it’s real, especially in this line of work. Therapists deal with heavy stuff: infidelity, trauma, human pain, sexual dysfunctions, you name it. If you’re not careful, it can weigh on you emotionally. I, however, have never had a problem with that. I love my work so much that at the end of a day I have never felt burned out. Awed by the degree of human suffering sometimes. It’s not all about fun and orgasms. I’ve always had a consistent self-care practice: I exercise daily, rigorously. I also have hobbies and interests outside of work that keep me grounded. Developing emotional resilience isn’t just about surviving; it’s about thriving in this field. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to help anyone else. My work-life balance has never been an issue. Maybe it’s the French attitude: everything in moderation.Staying Updated with Research is not Crucial. Sexology isn’t a static field—it’s constantly evolving. New research, new discoveries, new understandings of human sexuality are always emerging. I regularly attend conferences, read journals, and take continuing education courses. However, it’s not like technology where one thing becomes obsolete quickly and you have to learn the new thing to keep up. People have been having sex for a long time and some things don’t change. We all want to be loved, received, not rejected, appreciated, understood. Designations and fashions for what is ‘in style’ fluctuate, but the human inclination to bond is a constant.It’s Been a Great Outlet for My Propensity to Grow. I have a hunger for growth and personal development. And in this line of work it means I walk the walk and talk the talk. I regularly challenge myself. Learning to skydive when I turned 50 was an exercise in conquering fear, watching my brain want to go in one direction and pushing it in another. I’ve presented at two TEDx events and written a book titled Erotic Integrity, about self examination, self acceptance and authentic self actualization. And then I had to learn public speaking, overcome more fears, and promote the book. I regularly, several times a year, challenge myself. Because I know the value of taking myself on because I want more. And I want more for my clients, too.

Book a free consultation here: https://drsix.net/services/coaching-or-counseling-sessions/

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FOSTERING A HEALTHY ATTITUDE TOWARDS DESIRE: my Australian podcast

I was on a podcast out of Australia recently. Grab a beverage and spend 50 informal minutes with me. I haven’t done an interview like this before.

I talk about:

my lens on the world as a child

how I developed a positive outlook on sexuality

personal questions about my spare time

communication during doggie style (yes, during)

the pitfalls of what I call ‘functional sex’

how trauma shapes your erotic expression

wank banks

and so much more…

**My blog posts are now on Substack. Read the rest and watch/listen to the podcast here.
Or watch it on YouTube

See my other social media links:
Facebook
Instagram
LinkedIn
**And please show me some love/Likes/comments. I read every one and every little bit helps get me more exposure, so that I can help more people.

**Dr Claudia SIX ~ Saving the world, one bedroom at a time.**

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Erotic Integrity – Low Desire

Erotic Integrity – Low Desire
by Dr. Claudia Six

Excerpt

It’s important to note that low desire is not a label, a permanent diagnosis, or a flaw – it’s a position in the system. Every couple is a system, and in each system there is generally a low desire partner and a high desire partner. Those positions are generally pretty stable. It is rare that both partners have the same appetite for sex all the time. When one person wants sex more than the other, it’s called Desire Discrepancy in sexological psychobabble. Low desire is a relational issue that causes suffering when it is at odds with the partner’s higher desire and interpersonal stress is incurred.

Erotic-Integrity-Low-Desire

Download PDF

What would a HAPPY SEX LIFE give you?

 

https://drsix.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/AdobeStock_150155953-1.mp4

What would a HAPPY SEX LIFE give you?

I recently posed this question to my 6000+ Facebook friends and got a surprising mix of answers.

The somewhat spiritual responses: a “complete “knowing” of another human being, a ”trust so deep that I want to surrender”, “the feeling that my soul is home”, an expression of life energy, authentic erotic expression.

The healing aspects: with deep heart connection “it heals the last vestiges of wounded self-esteem”, “increased self-esteem”, “fun, joy, connection, acceptance of my aging body, and attachment”, “total happiness”, feeling received, happy, relaxed and content, feeling lovable, desired, wanted, good enough. Connection, a soft place to land.

And health benefits: “lower blood pressure, better sleep”, “blissful sleep”, “a deeper sense of embodiment and good chemicals for brain health”.

A beautiful word was used by several of my native French speaking friends: “complicity”. I love that word. In old French and Latin it means to ‘fold together’. But in English it means being involved in illegal activity with another. In French it is defined as a deep and spontaneous ‘entente’ or alliance, a sense of well being, togetherness and fondness.

Maybe that’s why French is such a sexy language: we have words for this kind of thing.

The absence of this was described by one man as “it kills me, little by little, day by day”. Another said it was “devastating”, “the loss of a large part of who I am” and of “one of the greatest gifts”. Unfortunately, I hear this often.

With my 30+ years of experience and knowledge, I have reassured clients that their goals are achievable (when I believe they are) and supported them in moving from no longer being lovers, to a HAPPY SEX LIFE. Nobody is ever broken, and nobody needs to be fixed. Stuckness always makes perfect sense.

A HAPPY SEX LIFE harnesses your five senses. You touch your lover’s skin and are touched. You see the pleasure on their face. You hear their breath catch with the first penetration, their moans and their cry or roar of orgasm. You smell their skin. You taste your lover.

Don’t you want that?…..

Navigating Intimacy and Sexuality Through Menopause: An Insightful Conversation with Dr Claudia Six

I was recently on a podcast for the Menowave, a Facebook group for menopausal women counting 150,000 members.

Listen up/watch for stories, tips, and my perspective on this life transition so many women struggle with: https://youtu.be/VE5L-fDfWD0 

You know I believe that menopause doesn’t have to mean the end of a woman’s sexual life. On the contrary.

I cover the complex issue of changing libido and sexual health during menopause. We dove  deep into the psychological and physiological challenges faced by women, offering practical advice on enhancing sexual well-being. Through personal anecdotes and professional insights, the conversation explores the distinctions between desire and arousal, the impact of personal and societal pressures on sexual relationships, and the importance of communication and erotic integrity in navigating these changes. This episode provides valuable information for individuals and couples looking to maintain intimacy and sexual satisfaction during the transitional phase of menopause.

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It’s never about sex

I’ve been saying for years that it’s never about sex. So recently I changed my tagline.

Let me explain. People think that sex is easy, happens naturally, and that when there’s a glitch, it’s about the sex. The problem isn’t getting the penis into the vagina (assuming a hetero model for the sake of this conversation). The problem is the humans attached to those penises and vaginas.

What gums up the works is the way that people get in their own way, the faulty beliefs they have about themselves, the ineffective communication, the built up resentments, the fears and insecurities, unspoken desires, shame…

For example if you have a faulty belief/story/trigger about how there’s no room for your needs, based on childhood in your family of origin. Whether or not it’s accurate, it’s a belief you have about yourself. Then you apply that faulty belief to sex. It stands to reason, right? At the beginning it’s all new, about making a good impression on your new lover. You don’t ask, convey, communicate what you need, because you can’t. You end up having less than satisfactory sex. Your partner has no idea. Eventually you get less and less out of it, and you’re less inclined to engage in it. It looks like low desire. Distance is created. You lover doesn’t understand, maybe feels inadequate, neglected, unappreciated, not desired… Maybe they have a faulty belief about not being good enough, for example. It looks like poor communication, maybe.

Because you can’t ask for what you need, you can’t discuss it. Maybe it’s easier to blame the other and make them wrong than be vulnerable. Distance widens. Resentments builds.

You get the gist.

It’s not about sex. It’s about the bigger picture of how these people show up in the world.

Faulty beliefs are unconscious and they make decisions for us. That’s where I start the work. It’s not about sex.

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