Faye Villanueva's Blog

Why Human Transmutation Fails in all of us (a reflection on Full Metal Alchemist)

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I am a huge fan of Full Metal Alchemist. In fact, it is my favorite. And I have soo many reasons why. One reason is that this manga is full of content that will allow us to question humanity, morality and God.

In the opening pages of the series, Ed and Al (the protagonists) are introduced in a run down city where everyone believed in the teachings of a certain Father Cornello. Ed states that he is not religious and then goes on to enumerate the components of a human body. Here, the author Hiromu Arakawa established the protagonists as a genius young lad whose wisdom could be close to God. He then says that no one has ever completed a human transmutation, hence, he’s searching for that “something missing” so that he can accomplish a successful human transmutation.

 

[image error]I am entering my 2nd Trimester in pregnancy as of this writing and one of the things I am fascinated about  is that this experience has so far been a divine moment where I am “making a human.” And by this I always have to mind what to eat. Eat for two, sleep for two (Kinda like how Ed eats a lot and sleeps a lot only to find out that he’s compensating for another body… His brother’s body in another dimension). Etcetera etcetera (and by now I feel like I’m feeding Edward Elrich right here)…. So that the baby will come out healthy and strong.  I have so far been fascinated by how a human is being created inside me and what this human will turn out to be depends on what I intake.

 

I find myself standing in front of that human transmutation circle, pouring out all the elements and ingredients I know to form a human. Except, unlike Ed, who failed creating human at one point in his life, this is 100% human and will be born in the natural process God designed human creation to be. Foolproof.

And then it also takes me back to that moment in the story of FMA where Ed and Al witnessed the natural birth of a baby with Winry’s help.  If I remember it right, it was a surreal and awesome experience to them..something that made them helpless for the first…er..second time. I couldn’t help but think though, that somewhere in between there was the realization too that they can never be able to create human the way nature does it (and I think it was placed in the story for a clear contrast of human transmutation vs. the natural cycle of life).

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The author Hiromu Arakawa is a woman and a mother at that. Now that I think about it, she experienced first hand the process of creating a human. And she knew that no science can supercede the natural process of making humans. Even if it would seemingly succeed, the price to pay is huge (say, at the cost of genocide?) or a mishap will happen along the way. She knew from the onset that no one can achieve being God.  And no medicine or science can create, but only God. And there’s so much truth in that. Even if you are a God-like genius like Ed.

This is also a reflection of how we humans, in our feebleness, think that we know it all in life whereas in truth we only know a tiny fraction of how to go about things because we’re only short-visioned finite beings. We don’t know it all. And we act like we do. And then we wonder why in all our awesomeness we meet defeat and failure. And then that’s when we remember God. we blame God for our mess.

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The thing is: we cannot achieve anything unless we go back to our Creator, the infinite one; the One who holds all wisdom and truth; the One who knows entirely how to go about this life. And when we recognize that it is His genius that we need, that it is His wisdom we need to rely on to get through the hardships of our lives, we experience a meaning of life that we will never be able to understand if we try to define things on our own. The moment we let go, like Ed who in the end let all his wisdom go in exchange for Al, we see the beauty of life for what it truly is.

The point is, stop trying to attempt your own human transmutation. Live according to your Creator. Foolproof.

 

“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagines, what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Cor. 2:9 ESV)

Inked hands

I recently decided to get back to reading the manga “Bakuman” which is primarily about the life of two wannabe mangakas (comic creators) and their tiring, amusing, and looong journey to becoming professional mangakas with an anime.

Our journey as husband and wife/ author and artist became a similar journey to Takagi and Mashiro when we decided three years ago to start doing a manga-style series in the Philippines. It was eventually published in 2015 as MA-I.

[image error]Since then our road to becoming revolutionary comic creators has been a rough ride. Some people do think we’re already popular (no we’re not) or that we’re already earning a lot of money from this (no, we have yet to see that day) and I don’t blame them (or you). We only publicize through social media what is beneficial for us and our stories.

The truth is, we work more than 9 hours a day, our excess funds always go to Kawangis comics, leaving us with little room for rest and recreation, which at times we desperately need.

In Bakuman, Mashiro attends a reunion and people awed him for being popular, had him sign their copies and all. But when asked if he’s living in a luxury or had an out of town vacay, he answered that he kept working on his comics and he didn’t even think about going on vacation like everbody does. Takagi asks if he’ s okay with it and he says it’s fine to work because he loves what he’s doing.

I can say the same. We need rest. We know. Unlike Mashiro and Takagi though, we FORCE ourselves to rest because our body needs it and God commands it. But to put it in a deeper way, rest is a way of living. Our hearts are at rest because we are doing what we love to do; what we are called to do. The pleasure of going on a vacation or say, buying a ps4 is only skin deep and if we’re given the opportunity, our investments on vacations or games or sorts should always be to be able to enhance what we’re doing. Vacation then becomes research trip. I like it better

We are different. But I like it that way. All of us have dreams but only a few pursue it. Why? Because the cost is high. Because it sacrifices out of town vacays, lavish living, time for gimmiks, or buying what you want. A deeper joy comes to those who live what they’re made for–to make a dent in the world, as Steve Jobs said, to leave a legacy, to do what God wants you to do.

We are far from fulfilling our dream yet (similarly with Bakuman, yes, one of our dreams is for our serieses to be animated) but we’re loving the journey– this rough journey. I can’t imagine doing something else. despite inked hands and lack of comfort, i am truly joyful. I am making my Maker happy whenever my visual stories are out there and I am inspiring others more since I started doing what I know I am wired to do.

How about you? Do you spend your time outside your work building up things that will make you fulfill your dreams or are you merely covering up for daily mediocrity just to get by in life?

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For more info on what we do, visit http://www.facebook.com/ kawangis or http://www.kawangis.com

The ten year old kid I wanted to German Suplex

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The other day, I was at a certain exhibit and on that rare occasion, the exhibit became an official tambay wheren most of the time I spent there, I consumed conversing with a ten year old boy who was son of a neighboring exhibitor.

He came to our booth browsing both MA-I and Incognito (check out @Kawangis on FB/IG for more info) and Incognito caught his attention. He darted questions that made me realize this boy’s mind is above ordinary. “Nandito ba si Andres Bonifacio?” “Bakit walang bigote si Heneral Antonio dito?” “Uy si Emilio Aguinaldo ito ah!”

He recited La Liga’s motto in Latin, told us stories he’s read about the Filipino Revolution, dates and all that; quotes and important people. I was dumbfounded at his genius because I know I couldn’t remember a lot of things like that when I was his age. I just told him that my series is based on  the Filipino Revolution. It’s not exactly that. But he still bombarded with questions on Incognito that was not how he learned they are in history. Because hey, I am not remaking history. I am making fiction!

Then he sat beside me and told me he also wants to be a comic creator—he wanted to be a teenage author. He told me his story and I listened… for hours. A part of me felt that maybe I can learn something from this conversation (because his story was somewhat an Alternate History too like mine) and so I did. He shared his story with conviction, occasionally saying “Astig talaga! Astig diba?”

I asked him, “Did you start writing it?” He said, “No. It’s all in my head. I know all the details. I remember it.”

In my mind, I thought, Alam mo yung German Suplex? Instead, I uttered, “Have you drawn the characters?” He said, “No, I don’t know how to draw.”

“Ger-man Su—.”

Like him, many if not all of us have dreams larger than ourselves. WE dream of having a house, being a successful businessman, or being a published writer. It feels great to dream dreams but it feels bad to wake up and actually do the things that will bring us closer to accomplishing that dream—because it requires stepping out of what is known. We drown ourselves in a load full of excuses. It’s too toxic. It’s a long way there. I don’t have time to write. I can’t save money. I am not backed up with the proper education.Fear… or Conceitedness maybe.

That boy had a great dream, had a story (well, rough) in mind, and is backed up with such a beautiful mind that can remember a lot of things—a thing I never had. But he won’t go anywhere until he learns that fulfilling his dream of becoming a comic creator entails writing and rewriting and rewriting his story, presenting it to a panel of suitable editor(s) that will paint his manuscript red and and ask him to rewrite and rewrite and rewrite further. And then draw it into a storyboard so that his artist will have to understand how his story should be drawn.

First step: write. He didn’t

Second step: Have it edited. He was sold out in his story. There was no room for an editor to give him suggestions for improvements. I listened to his story but subconsciously wanted to put my editor hat on. He needs rework. A lot.

Third step: Draw. Even if it’s a rough draw. He point blankly said he doesn’t draw (even if I told him he should at least know how to do sticks). He said “I don’t want to.”

Even a genius had his excuse. I’m glad I didn’t have that kind of mind back then.

I look back during the years I was his age. I am very forgetful so I write the thoughts or stories that come to my mind. I surrounded myself with friends (few) that write like I do (my Kuya was essential to this journey).  We exchanged stories and critiqued each other and shared stories everyday as if the characters we made are our barkada. I drew everyday even if I knew a lot of young artists draw better than I drew. I spent time in the library reading books and writing my novel (which is now Incognito) during break time. I did these because I knew I am not good enough to reach my dream so I have to work hard to get it. Lastly, there’s a huge chunk of my devotion in this craft that I pray everyday, ask God for direction and if this is His will, He will open the doors for me.

Even up to now I have everyday conversations with my husband who acts as my editor and co-writer, we talk about how some twists and turns may be better of this way or that… and he challenges me to do better in drawing and writing every single time. I also have other editor friends, mentors, artists I learn from continually. The learning never stops.

Like that ten year old genius, I also wanted to become a teenage author. But I’m glad it didn’t happen because God placed more importance in my journey of failing, falling, learning, relearning so that my material can be publishable and with more essence. Unlike the young genius, I recognized my inadequacy so that I can fulfill that God-given dream planted in my heart.

Genius or not, the key to succeeding is actually getting yourself vulnerable, out of your comfort zone; out of the confines of conformity that was taught to us in school. Nuff about the talking big. They’re just talks. You have to do it. Swallow the grime and mud. Vomit if you can. Perspire and bleed. And if you’re not up to it,  German Suplex yourself!

Murdered Watercolors

If you feel broken, look at this picture of my murdered watercolors.

In life we experience being smeared, broken, soaking wet, running out, ugly, battered. They do not happen to us because God doesn’t love us. Yeah sometimes we end up hurt because of our own kakulitan, sometimes because of others. In the end, like these ugly colors I have that produce a masterpiece, a work of art, a beauty, your brokenness can contribute love and hope to this broken world we live in. It depends on us if we take the process of becoming or leave it undone.

Your life could be an inspiration. Let the Master Artist paint the masterpiece in you. Let Him make a wonderful story out of the mess that you’re in. Sige na. Ibigay mo na.

Rom. 8:28

BtW, these are gansai tambi watercolors. They have already produced over a hundred pages of artworks in the past 6 months that it’s been with me.

Shot Glass Palette

Malang Santos‘ shot-glass palette (next to BenCab’s disposable plates)

Amazing how we are artists with different styles and yet here we are trying to compare one with the other.

Reminding myself too that I should constantly improve but not compromise myself (or the message I carry) to the point that I lose my imprint (or better yet, God’s imprint in me)

Btw, if you’re a Filipino artist and you haven’t been to The National Museum, I sincerely encourage you to see it. Seriously. If you’re a tourist (and artist, or even if you aren’t), you should see this too.

Don’t tell me to do otherwise

Time comes when your passion becomes business and some partnerships, sponsors, will eventually demand all sorts for the sake of higher sales or publicity… to the point that sometimes you’re left compromising your work or you forget the very reason why you’re doing what you’re doing.

Meet half way if you can but don’t compromise.

Take note of criticisms but be aware of what are valid and what aren’t.

Do it for the advocacy and not for the sales.

Partner with the people who believe in your potential (and advocacy), not those who think you can make them money.

Be kind, be keen, be civil. don’t burn bridges.

Do it even when no one is applauding.

Do it because you’re the one who has that calling, not them.

Your ultimate backer aren’t the big guys but THE ONE who placed that passion in your heart.

He WILL.

. . . . .

I’ll keep telling visual stories for my God, for my culture and for the next generation. Iknow what I’m doing. Don’t tell me to do otherwise.

My Coloring Army

My coloring army

Today I’d like to share with you what are the coloring materials I use for my work as an illustrator and graphic novelist (excluding the ink tools and graytones, which will be another post). I thought about posting this since I saw a thread in a Watercolorists group to display what materials they use in painting.

 

L to R:

Zig Pearlescent Watercolors– for some reason this watercolor palette is included here but no, I don’t use them for my work. I used them once for the painting below. They’re a fancy set given to me, and they’re probably not artist grade. and while I don;t really need them (the shimmers aren’t transferred to the scans and prints, anyway), I enjoy having received them. I am actually thinking of real projects I can come up with using them. Check out my first painting using them (and Gansai Tambi) (Price: P400 at The Craft Central)

2. Holbein Jaune Brillant # 2 Tube– This tube is a must have for those who paint and draw humans, a lot. WHile I can basically blend red and yellow hues to come up with skin color, I’d like to take that shortcut by having the Jaune Brillant 2 tone as the base color. works well

Dirty Watercolors: AN Inspiring Gallery

Went to Dirty Watercolors Gallery the other night❤ and was astounded by the beautiful “watercolor” paintings made from pigments (mud,oil, grime, whatever) found in Manila’s dirty rivers. If you think watercolor is a challenging medium, these pigments are more challenging because it’s composed of different elements, sediments that react differently on paper.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BF5dbe7FadB/?taken-by=spatialchild

mas maganda po sila sa personal. makikita mo yung mga latak at dumi (at glitters at green ng bahala ka mag-isip kung saan galing) sa hagod ng pagpinta nila. It’s really inspiring and moving. Ang ganda pa ng mga subjects na gamit nila– yung mga tao mismo na nakatira dun sa mga rivers with all smiles.

WHere did the green pigment come from?

Paano ba maging manunulat? (Fiction scriptwriting)

Sagot sa mga nagtanong lately, “Paano ba maging isang manunulat?” simple lang ang sagot ko: “Magsulat ka!”

Pero para may maisulat ka, magbasa ka. Itong Trip to Quiapo, Bible namin yan during Scriptwriting class nung nag-aaral pa ako ng MassCom. hanggang ngayon, ina-apply ko parin ang mga natutunan ko dito sa pagscript ng komiks o graphic novels (to be more specific). Oo, well para sa akin pareho lang ang proseso ng film at graphic novels. Parang gumagawa lang ako ng detalyadong storyboard para sa film, kumbaga.

Hindi ako expert ha (hindi pa) pero nais ko lang i-share ito sa mga gustong gumawa ng kwento. Importante ang book na ito. Haligi siya sa akin. Dapat nga basahin ko ulit.

Sana nakatulong ang hindi visual art post

Zona Cero Launch Giveaway!

I have a giveaway contest in my IG handle, and if you haven’t joined yet, here are the mechanics on how to join (open for Philippine residents only):

GIVEAWAY ALERT!

Here’s to officially launch the one-shot graphic novel “Zona Cero”. Saya diba?

One random winner will receive the following items:

1 Zona Cero Full-color digital graphic novel (powered by @buqoapp reader)

1 Kuretake Gansai Tambi watercolors (do you guys have an idea how awesome these colors are?!)

1 Large tip Sakura Waterbrush

4 assorted Zona Cero art prints, signed

Here’s how to join:

1. Follow @spatialchild and @craftcarrot on Instagram

2. Like Kawangis Komiks and Craft Carrot on Facebook

3. Like the photo (in IG)

4. Repost with hashtag ‪#‎zonacerogiveaway‬* (on IG and FB)

5. Tag three or more friends to join!

*make sure your account is in public so we can see!

we will check if you followed all the steps!

That’s it!

The winner(s) will be announced on June 1, 2016. One grand winner will get all the items above. Two other winners will get a digital copy of Zona Cero. Open to Philippine residents only!

Zona Cero is an alternate history fiction set in 1892 about a tribal island’s survival against a superpower country named Intramuros.

For a sample viewing of Zona Cero, click the link (download Buqo app on your tablet/ smartphone to view): http://bit.ly/1UMsoE9

For those who want to know “behind the scenes” of Zona Cero, here:http://bit.ly/1VosW3h