Angie Morgan's Blog, page 29

Go the Distance

To persevere, I think, is important for everybody. Don’t give up, don’t give in. There’s always an answer to everything.  – Louis Zamperini

It’s that time of year … track.  Now, you might not be as obsessed about this sport as I am, but maybe you’ll appreciate it more when I relate it to talent.

So, backstory: for the past three years, the coaches of my son’s track team have allowed me to run with the distance runners in a pseudo coaching capacity.  (Pseudo because my travel schedule doesn’t afford me the opportunity to train with them everyday.)  For the past three years, I’ve been able to observe this group’s talent, hard work, and grit.  

Here’s what this experience has reinforced:

Champions are made in the off season.  If you want to be excellent during racing season, you have to be excellent when there’s no competition.  You must have the discipline to train with a greater goal in mind.
Hard work beats talent every single time.  Sure, there are the rare occasions when there’s talent so extraordinary that it doesn’t have to work too hard, but I’ve seen kids overcome tremendous talent gaps by their sheer effort.
Everyone’s got a game face.  Seriously.  Everyone.  But not everyone brings their game face to their race.  A game face symbolizes that you’re going to leave it all out on the track. Some people choose not to, even though they’re capable.
Your mind will quit before your body will.  It’s always interesting, especially in distance runs, to watch when people quit.  Not physically, but mentally.  Some people even quit before the starting gun goes off.  As humans, we’re capable of amazing feats – our minds have to be the driving force, though.
The only way to stay on top is to respect the competition.  I kicked off training last week reminding the fastest male and female runners that they need to look around … everyone else is trying to beat them.  And then I told everyone else, look at these two – try to beat them.  I reinforced that if we all push each other, each day we get better and, because we’re a team, if a teammate beats us, the only thing we can do is high five them and say, “great race” because they earned it.

So, to all the track fans, sports fans, and workers out there – have a great spring season!  And if you’ve got any great sport anecdotes or metaphors that you believe relate well to life, I’d love to hear them – email me at amorgan@leadstar.us.

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Life without Hope?

“Angie, you’re spending too much time hoping.  Hope is in the future.  You need to live in the present.  In the present, address what you’re afraid of.  Focus on confronting your fears today and you will shape your tomorrow.”

 

A wise mentor and confidant delivered this message to me recently.  His well-timed, well-articulated advice challenged my way of thinking.

 

Basically, I’m a hope junky.  I love working today for what I hope will be for my tomorrow.  So as I wrap my head around how hoping might not be in my best interest, I’m trying to be open-minded to a new life rubric. 

 

My friend is right about one thing: I spend a lot of energy vision casting and imaging what I’d like to be, what I’d like to do, and what I’d like to experience.  My mind is in my future a lot, which allows me to bypass my fears in the present.

 

If you were to ask me, “What are you afraid of?” my instinct might be to tell you nothing.  But if I were to sit still with myself and dig in, I’m sure I’d reacquaint myself with my insecurities, inadequacies, and – in generals – several self-made barriers and beliefs that have kept my ego safe, but have put some limits on me that I’m probably not even aware of.

 

This is deep stuff … I know.  But to grow as leaders, we can’t wade in the shallow waters.

 

Courtney and I were talking recently about the pace of life and how hard it is to find these moments of stillness, as well as the pressures we face that take our mind off the moments at hand.  I’m sure you know those pressures, too. 

 

Will what I’m doing right now pay off tomorrow?
Am I on the right track?
Are these choices the best ones for me?

 

We’ve taken it on as a personal challenge to sit still, exist in moments of discomfort, and embrace the here and now.  Here are some things we’re trying:

 

Breathing.  Literally.  I’ve just started to practice meditating.  I hate sitting still, so this is a tough one for me.  But I’m growing to realize that the thing I want to do least is probably the thing I should do most.
Staring Down Fears.  I’m trying not to walk away from the things I‘m afraid of and, instead, walk towards them. There’s a lot here to explore.
Embracing Hopelessness.  It’s not that you can’t have expectations or dreams.  Just put energy in the present.  Hopes can be mirages.  What is real and what you can influence is this present moment.  Take care of now.

 

Challenging our thoughts and shaping our behaviors is what leaders do.  Not only does it ensure continuous growth, but it allows us to get to know ourselves better.  I’ve long said and believed that the most important relationship a leader has is the one with themself.  

I’d love to hear from you – what are you doing right now to be present and in the moment?  Email me at amorgan@leadstar.us – I’ll create a list and share your ideas (not names!) 

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Are You Interested and Interesting?

I have zero doubt that the vast majority of professionals go to work with the intention of adding value to their colleagues, their team, and their organization. 

 

They may put a tremendous amount of effort into owning their job description and being technically proficient in their role.  But, I often wonder how much time they invest in these two critical, value-add qualities: being interested and interesting.

 

Here’s what I mean.

 

As a leader, you should be interested in:

Your colleagues, their lives outside of work, and learning about what motivates and drives them
Your organization, its industry, and how it makes money and/or achieves its goals
Your craft and the trends that are influencing your role
The other teams and departments in your organization and how you all work together
The opportunities for new approaches and any barriers to success

 

Being interested in your work, the people you work with, and the process for which the work gets done allows you to anticipate future needs and take initiative where appropriate. 

 

Committing yourself to being interested also allows you to be interesting.  When you’re open-minded and curious, you’re exposed to new ideas and ways of thinking.  You suddenly have more thoughts to contribute and knowledge to share.  You have greater awareness of what questions to ask, insights to offer, and recommendations based upon what you’ve been discovering.  This allows your input to be, well, interesting and valuable to the decision-makers in your organization. 

 

If adding this type of value is important to you, you might be wondering where to start.  Easy.  Start by asking questions with an intention to learn. 

 

Asking questions with an intention to learn is not:

Asking questions to show what you know
Asking questions to impress
Asking questions for the sake of asking questions

 It’s just to learn.  Simple enough, right?

So go forward into the week being interested … your expressed interest will, in turn, help you be a greater contributor in the weeks ahead.  

My best, Angie

 

PS I’d love to hear from you … when you’re trying to express interest in getting to know someone, what’s a great question to ask?  My go-to question is “Are you reading anything good right now?”  Post your thoughts on our Facebook wall.

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I’ve Failed … and I’m Totally Cool with That

I tend to write a lot about success – secrets to success, how to achieve it, setting goals and accomplishing them.  I recently thought about the topic of success and wondered … is success a series of great events, or is it a series of rebounds from failures?

I’ve failed a lot.  I’ve failed in relationships.  I’ve failed at work.  There have been plenty of parenting fails in my life.  There have been situations where I didn’t live my values. There have been times I’ve let people down and circumstances where I’ve felt powerless to influence, yet had to suffer through the consequences.

Yet, when I think about all of these events, I’m proud.  Odd, right?  My pride isn’t derived from my poor choices; my pride comes from recovering from situations where I didn’t act my best, but gave myself a bit of grace, reflected to understand lessons learned, and focused on being better as the result of the experience.

I think failure is one of those things we tend to shield ourselves from.  We certainly don’t brag about our fails, or talk about them on social media.  But, what if we did?

What if we talked more about our imperfections?  What if we were more honest and open about our failures?

Here are a few things that I think would happen:

We’d present an image of realness and authenticity in this “personal brand” era – an image that is refreshing to others and pulls people closer
We’d inspire others to be more honest about their own failures, their own shortcomings, influencing greater sharing and candor
We’d get to the heart of the issues faster and co-imagine solutions that would get us to results quicker
We’d inspire greater trust – it’s paradoxical, but the more we talk about our missteps, the more people trust us with responsibility

So, the next time you have a great success, here’s what to do: revel in it, understand your role in contributing to the outcome.  But reflect, too, on all the trials you’ve went through to make this singular success so meaningful.

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We’re Giving Away 2 Tickets to the SPARK Experience Workshop

When you empower others, and contribute to their success, you express service-based leadership — the brand of leadership that helps strengthen bonds, build teams, and transform relationships.

 

We want to give you the opportunity to serve someone by doing one thing: Nominating them to attend the SPARK Experience Workshop for free. 

 

We all have a colleague in our life who deserves a special day away from the desk. A day where they can:

Pause, reflect, and think about how they can grow their leadership abilities
Attend a professional development event facilitated by true experts in their fields who create engaging, entertaining, and inspiring learning experiences
Refresh their professional network in an encouraging, supportive environment

We’re delivering two SPARK Experience Workshops this spring: in Houston on April 25 and Detroit on May 9. We’re offering one free ticket to each course. learn more about the workshops >

 

To nominate your colleague:

In 500 words or less, tell us who they are, their relationship to you, and why they should attend
Indicate which session you’re nominating them for (Houston or Detroit)
Email your application to info@leadstar.us

The Lead Star team will review all submissions and determine our two lucky winners based upon how you share what type of impact you believe the SPARK Experience Workshop will have on them. 

 

Simple, right?

 

It’ll take you less than 20 minutes to put a nomination together. Think about your deserving colleague … aren’t they worth the time investment? (Imagine their surprise knowing that you went to the effort to recognize them!!!)

 

You might also think, well … they don’t live in Detroit or Houston. Nominate them anyway. If they are selected, and live in the continental US, we’ll pay for their plane ticket and hotel room. 

 

We’re accepting nominations until March 8. On March 14, we’ll make the announcement of our two winners.

 

Questions? Email us at info@leadstar.us.

 

We look forward to reading these applications about all the amazing and deserving men and women in the world whose leadership has impacted others in positive and inspiring ways.

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Why Doesn’t Pam Beesly Matter?

My kids and I have been binge watching The Office. The other day I had to stop an episode, look at my boys, and say, “Do you hear how everyone is talking about Pam’s breasts? That is not okay. It’s completely unacceptable to make those types of comments to a woman at any time, any place.” I then went on to ask them how they’d feel if every day they went to work and people commented on their bodies. They agreed quickly that it’d make them incredibly uncomfortable.

This experience really touched a nerve. It brought me back to my days in the Marine Corps when I was objectified for my appearance routinely. Heck, it started before then. When I was 18 and applying to become a midshipman at the University of Michigan, and had to tell the Marine instructor my weight, he asked me to get up, turn around, and after his appraisal he said, “I don’t see where you hide it.”

Later, in the Corps, I’d hear my Marine colleagues and their grading scale for the women I served with – she’s a 5 in the states, but in Iraq she’s a solid 8. (Had I not been there, I’m sure my rating would have emerged, too.) I even had a performance evaluation in the military where it was documented that I “looked great in uniform.” (I think I took that as a compliment at the time; looking back, it’s creepy.) There’s more, much more. This type of degradation happened all the time.

I could have dealt with any of these experiences individually. Collectively, though, they created a culture where I felt insecure, uncertain, and always on guard. It wasn’t a place where I felt accepted, a place where I could bring my full self to work. It was near impossible to thrive.

This brings me back to Pam. Poor Pam. Toby hits on her all of the time. Angela shames her. Everyone comments on her breasts. This is no place where a woman can feel safe enough to do her best.

I know this is a sitcom. But is it really? Aren’t there elements of this TV show in our work environments? While I’d wish that the answer to this is no, I’m not naïve. My work brings me in close contact with HR professionals who have stories to tell.

A positive culture is everyone’s responsibility. As leaders, what we say matters. What we hear, but don’t address, matters. If we want our teams to feel safe, secure, we have to make sure that they matter and work to promote a culture where we remove all the barriers to high performance so that individuals feel they can contribute to their fullest potential.

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Newsflash: There’s Never Enough Time

“Okay, so what are the barriers to success?” 

 

I raised this question to a group of leaders I’m working with. Most answers were centered on process, which was a huge relief to me!! Process challenges, in my mind, are easier to address than talent challenges. None of these challenges, either, seemed unsolvable … until we started talking about finding the time to address them. 

 

This conversation reminded me of many I’ve had before … you know, the ones where we can spot the problems, but don’t make the time to address them. As we all know, unaddressed issues just don’t get better with time.

 

I then raised the question, “What’s the risk to the business if we don’t solve them right now?” We all agreed it was pretty catastrophic, so we creatively made a schedule that would allow us to change the tires on the proverbial moving car. 

 

Easy, right? Not always. Even with a schedule, we still have to solve the problems and then implement our solutions.

 

That’s life, right? Talking about problems, and identifying solutions, is really just the beginning of progress. Real progress is made with true effort. 

 

Which brings me to the second part of this leadership moment. What are your barriers to success? Think about them for a few minutes. Do they relate to:

A poor professional network?
Lack of inexperience or education to advance?
Dealing with a challenging work environment?
Experiencing excess uncertainty in your career?

All of these challenges have solutions, which is why I’d like to use this as an opportunity to share with you two unique offers Lead Star has to support you.

 

The first is our SPARK Experience Workshop — this is an open enrollment event where you can pull yourself away from the desk for one full day, engage with interesting professionals, and think about where you are and where you want to go as a leader. Learn more >

 

The next is the SPARK Webinar Series, which are complimentary 30-minute sessions offered monthly designed to refresh and inspire you with new ideas on how to be a better leader. Register now >

 

This year at Lead Star we’re focused on providing you new ideas that will help you remove the barriers to your success. What are you waiting for? If there’s ever been a time for greater leadership in our world, that time is now. 

 

Thanks for all you do to be a better leader. We hope you can enjoy either (or both!) of these offers.

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What’s in the additional 10%?

My friend and I were talking recently about relationships. In her mind, for a relationship to really work, each person must be willing to give 110%.

“What’s in the additional 10%?” I asked.

She smiled. “The stuff we really don’t want to do.”

In my personal life, I knew what this “stuff” looks like. (Don’t we all?) In my professional life, I know what that “stuff” is, too. Since work is the greatest team sport we all participate in, relationships matter…so I thought I’d explore what that additional 10% looks like:

Volunteering to type up the notes and distribute post-meeting
Creating the PPT pitch deck your colleagues aren’t raising their hands to complete
Agreeing to reschedule your day to help a teammate complete a project
Cleaning up the break room after the person who messed it up leaves the office
Refilling the coffee pot, again, when you didn’t “kill the joe”
Taking the time to schedule ongoing 1:1s when there’s not a performance management cycle making you do it

That additional 10% is the above and beyond behaviors that communicate silently that you’re committed to making things work not just for you, but for others, too. While the payoff isn’t always obvious, believe me, your 10% makes a difference. What would happen if you decided to just give 100%? Chances are, your extra effort would be missed.

Don’t ever resent giving more than others give — that’s leadership. We’ve long shared that leadership isn’t something you expect — it’s something you do. There’s no ledger, no point system, to keep track of your extra effort. Leadership is a gift you give others without any expectation for return. When it is reciprocated, though, that’s magic. That’s a great relationship.

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The Critical Trait You Need to Reach Your Goals This Year

At first, dreams seem impossible, then improbable, and eventually inevitable. – Christopher Reeve

What dreams do you want to achieve? What goals do you intend to pursue?

Whatever your answers to these questions, there is one critical trait that you need to depend on: grit.

Grit isn’t a word that we hear every day, yet it is an essential quality for goal accomplishment. People who have grit are able to cultivate hardiness when confronted with challenge and agility when circumstances change. It’s no surprise that the presence of grit determines if West Point cadets are retained after their first year, or who makes it to the stage in the National Spelling Bee Championship.

Grit isn’t a static quality. It can be developed in all of us. Here are a few things you can do:

Identify goals that you are passionate about achieving. Passion helps individuals heighten and sustain their efforts when the going gets tough.


Get as specific as possible with your goals. What is it that you want and when is it that you want it? Then, what are milestones you can cross to reassure yourself that you are on the right path?


Choose one big goal. Don’t tempt fate: Goal accomplishment can be very challenging because it requires us to start new habits. Don’t try to achieve five.


Decide what behaviors you would like to introduce, not ones that you would like to stop. It’s much easier to develop new habits than it is to halt old ones.


Grab an accountability partner. Share your goal with someone and ask them what they can do to support you. Remind them that it is your job to check in with them to update them on where you are and how you are doing.

Many of us approach the beginning of each year with great dreams and goals. Whether the changes you want to make are professional or personal, consider how grit can help you reach your goals.

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Greta Expectations and Van Fleeting Moments

I’m a news junkie, so when I get a break I check the headlines. I have some go-to sites, and upon a recent Detroit Free Press skim I paused, clicked, and was amazed. 

The story I was reading was about a band, Greta Van Fleet, from Frankenmuth, MI, that’s nominated for four Grammys. 

“Wait … what … Frankenmuth?” was all I could think. I’ve driven past Frankenmuth on the I-75 corridor all my life. This town is really only known for its incredibly large Christmas store and, interestingly, family-style chicken dinners. I had to learn more, so I went to YouTube to hear their music. 

From the article, I knew the band members, comprised of three brothers and a friend, were all under 25. So I admit, I was expecting Hanson. I was floored when I heard Robert Plant-esque vocals coming from the lead singer. I love Led Zeppelin. So does my son, Judge, who’s 13. I couldn’t wait to pick him up from school so he could hear this band. 

When Judge got in the car, I skipped theHow was your day? question, which really only yields a muttered fine, and then went straight to, “Oh my God, you have to hear this.” When we got home, he downloaded all of their songs and then went to the basement so he could pound out the rhythm on his drum set, which made me incredibly happy. This was no longer just an Angie obsession. For Judge and me, this was a “we” thing – a shared passion, something incredibly rare for this mom and her teenage son. 

Later that week, Judge mentioned Greta Van Fleet was playing at the Fox Theater in Detroit, a classic venue for what will, one day, become a classic band. Fox Theater also only happens to be four hours away from where we live. I couldn’t help myself, so I spent far too much money on two of the best seats I could find. This was going to be our first concert together, and I wanted to make it the best experience possible. At least, that’s what I told myself to justify the expense. 

On the day of the concert, I headed to Detroit with both of my boys – Gard, my youngest, wanted to see his buddy, the son of a woman I served with in the Marines, who lives near the Fox Theater. I wanted to reconnect with Erin, too, plus – hey – it was free childcare, lodging, and my friend’s a pretty amazing cook. If we stayed the night, I could count on great conversation and a hot breakfast better than anything you’d find on a hotel buffet line. It was, what I believed, shaping into the perfect plan. 

On the way to Detroit, the kids and I were riding high as we rocked out to Greta Van Fleet – even the littlest Morgan joined in. This was a mom and son’s adventure and, man, we were all in. 

When we parked on Erin’s street, Judge verified, “We’ve got two hours until the concert, right? We’re not going to be late, right?” I reassured him it was less than a 10-minute drive to the venue and we were fine. When we got out of the car and started walking up Erin’s walkway, I noticed something odd. Their morning paper was still on their front porch. Even odder, when we all got to the door, we knocked … knocked again … and then knocked even louder. No answer. I then called my friend, no answer. I then texted my friend. No answer. All the while, both boys were looking at me wondering what the heck was going on. The oldest, especially, was growing anxious. 

“If they’re not here, we can’t go. Who’s going to watch Gard?” 

Gard chimed in. “They’re not here? Great. We drove all the way down here to see my friend. Now I can’t see him. This isn’t fair.” 

I now had two upset boys looking at me for a solution. And, hey, I didn’t have a clue what to do. But I knew that the most important thing to do when things don’t go your way is to pretend like you’ve got everything under control. 

“Boys,” I said in the best calming voice I could find. “We’re going to be okay. I’ve got this.” 

I loaded the kids and their bags back into the car. I then pulled up my most recent text exchange with Erin to see where things went awry. As I scrolled back to the beginning of the conversation, I noticed an error. My error. I asked her if she was going to be home on January 30th. The concert was, in fact, December 30th. I felt really, really stupid. 

I then fessed up to the kids and said, “Hey, I made a mistake and have the dates wrong. Erin’s probably visiting family, so she’s not here. Judge, plug in Fox Theater on your Google Map app. We’ll find a hotel nearby. We’ll then grab dinner. Gard, what do you want for dinner?” 

“Pizza,” he replied. And, because he sensed he had leverage, he added “and Coke.” 

Crap. He had me. “Okay, pizza and Coke it is.” 

“And, Judge. Are you ready? You’re going to go to the concert alone. I’ll stay with Gard while you have the time of your life.” 

And there it was. A plan. Rather, a Plan B. A plan that didn’t satisfy everyone completely, but addressed the situation so we were all marginally satisfied. Gard got a Coke, Judge got a concert, and I had two children who, for the moment, could live with the solution that was presented to them. 

After dinner, I called my husband to let him know the update and confirm the scenario was okay with him – letting our 13 year old go to a concert solo. He agreed this was a stretch experience, but trusted Judge was mature enough to handle it. I could tell Judge felt a little nervous about the situation, but I knew his desire to see the band outweighed any hesitation he had to attend alone. With that said, he let me walk him to the concert entrance and hugged me goodbye – in front of a crowd – before his 3 1/2 hour disappearance. 

During that time, Gard and I were glued to the hotel room TV – an Indiana Jones Marathon was on. During the commercials, I’d text Judge random questions, like “How was the opener?” and I’d receive quick, one-word answers. I even got an occasional question, like “How long is intermission usually?” and “The girl behind me keeps talking about flashing the singer. What’s that?” (I told him I’d tell him later and, in the meantime, enjoy the concert, eyes forward, and focus on what was happening on stage.) 

Around 11:30, when Judge got back to the room, there was one thing I knew: despite (or maybe even because of) my absence, he had an amazing time. He had so much to tell me, so much to share. He took pictures, videos, and walked through their set. He even told me about the best part of the night – when the lead singer pointed right at him and gave him a thumb’s up. 

“Really?” I asked. He nodded enthusiastically. “That’s amazing.” And it was. I knew this whole reconstructed evening meant a lot to him. It actually meant a lot to me, too. While this whole experience didn’t work out how I imagined, in the end, it worked out in ways that felt just right. 

Now, I’ve told this story a few times over the holidays, but I typically end it at the “thumbs up” part, without giving this experience reflection, and any lessons learned that can be applied forward. As I sit here and write this now, there are a few thoughts I’d like to share that might be useful to you as you approach 2019: 

Don’t Hate Your Mistakes. I think I kicked myself for two minutes after making my clumsy mistake. I then got over it. We all make mistakes. We all create unintentional problems. We all miss details or fail to communicate effectively. Don’t hate yourself for it. That’s life. Constantly put things in perspective: Did anyone die? Likely not. So learn from it. Grow! And, yes, do better next time.
Make Plans … But Be Flexible. I learned in the Marines that a plan is a reference point for change. I learned in church that God laughs at the plans you make. There’s truth in both pieces of guidance. Plans give you direction, but they don’t always pan out. Be okay with it and keep moving forward. If you don’t have a perfect plan, work to perfect your situation.
Find the Good in Plan B. When you’re forced to enact Plan B, stop ruminating about Plan A. Embrace Plan B. It’s what you have. You can’t time travel and change your circumstance. Accept and own where you are right now.
Laugh … and Encourage Others to Laugh with You. As I shared, I’ve told this story to a few people. In the end, I think it’s funny, and I want others to see the humor in it, too. I’m not perfect. (I think I’ve established that already.) I’m human. I don’t want to live with the pretense that I’ve got it all together, because I don’t. But what I do have is an insatiable desire to be real, and a sincere commitment to make each day better than the last.

With that in mind, let me wish you a great 2019 – a year full of hopes, dreams, plans made … and plans adjusted, and a great curiosity that keeps you inspired.

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