Ikram Hawramani's Blog, page 41
April 23, 2019
A Manual of Civilized Sexuality

My new book A Manual of Civilized Sexuality: What Science, Feminism and Our Pornographic Culture Cannot Teach Us about the Most Important Things in Love, Romance and Intimacy is now available on Amazon.com. While this book is written for a general Western audience, the contents are extremely relevant to Muslims interested in understanding Islam’s views on sexuality.
In this book I present a framework for a morality of human sexuality that makes no reference to religion (while being fully compatible with it).
The modern world demonizes masculinity among men while promoting it among women; believing that the only truly worthy woman is one who lives up to masculine standards of behavior and achievement. I show that by adopting an evolutionary1 view and combining it with Kant’s simple moral philosophy, we gain the very best that feminism stands for (true equality of the sexes) without either sex having to abandon its natural instincts and its masculine/feminine persona. I therefore present a post-feminist view of gender relations that makes feminism irrelevant for those who live truly moral and civilized lives.
Islam tells us that it is wrong for a man to do something as seemingly innocuous as admiring a woman’s body on the street. The scholars are also agreed that watching pornography is immoral. But where does the “wrongness” in such behaviors come from? I show that this wrongness is related to our basic humanity. Any erotic enjoyment that lacks an interpersonal aspect is morally wrong and damaging to one’s own humanity; it takes away our ability to enjoy the warmth of human relationships. We are not animals and our sexuality is deeply tied to our humanity–requiring very specific rules of behavior that the Abrahamic religions get right.
From the Amazon description:
A Manual of Civilized Sexuality explores the most important issues in the modern couple’s life: from dating and romance to the morality of eroticism and intimacy, to finding spiritual meaning in life. Author Ikram Hawramani unites Kant’s beautiful and simple moral philosophy with an evolutionary understanding of masculinity and femininity, showing how both sexes can lead authentic lives tuned to their own instincts while living in Kant’s “Kingdom of Ends” where love, beauty and freedom reign. Couples who have been happily married for decades and who continue to have infinite love and consideration for each other already live in the Kingdom of Ends. This book shows you the path for getting there.
Does God forgive sins if you keep repeating them?
Saalam Aleyckum, does Allah forgive everytime i make sins ? Even if i repeat thousand times the same ? And do you know how can we know that Allah loves us ? I feel like i don't deserve Allah mercy.
Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,
There is no limit to God’s forgiveness. If you are able to to sincerely ask for forgiveness, then that in itself means that God is willing to forgive you. When God decides that a person no longer deserves forgiveness then they become the type of person who never ask for forgiveness. This is what the Quran means by “sealing” the hearts of those who sin so much and do so many evil deeds that God decides to seal their fate and prevent them from seeking His forgiveness (as in the case of the Pharaoh in the story of Prophet Moses PBUH).
If you feel inspired to ask for forgiveness, if you are not happy with yourself and wish to be better, then that means God loves you and is there to help you. When God does not love someone He lets them become happy in their own state so that they never feel inspired to seek guidance or forgiveness and in this way their life goes to waste while thinking they are doing really well.
How to stop feeling jealousy and envy
I don't know if you received this or not, but I asked if there were any surahs which stop making you jealous, or any dikhr. Thanks.
Sorry I don’t think I received it. I don’t know of any surahs or dhikrs to do for jealously. This is a character problem that would require commitment to changing yourself. Please see the articles on the page Guides on Getting Closer to God for guidance on bettering yourself. If you dedicate yourself to reading the Quran for an hour a day then I am pretty sure that will solve your problem.
Best wishes.
Is “Mumtahina” a good Islamic name?
I named my niece Mumtahina but people say it is not good for the baby. Please guide us more if it is an appropriate name for the baby or not.
First, note that the sura of the Quran is named Mumtahana, not Mumtahina. Mumtahana means “the woman who was tested” while Mumtahina means “a woman who tests [others].”
If you knowingly chose Mumtahina, then the meaning of “one who tests”, “tester” is not a bad meaning. It means the person is wise and discerning.
But if you chose it thinking it was in the Quran, then this is wrong, since the Quranic name is Mumtahana. But you can still keep Mumtahina since it does not have a bad meaning.
Is it sinful to not have a beard or to do other makruh actions?
If a Muslim does a makruh action, like if they trim their beard short (according to the shafi school) is it haram that they enjoy the look of it or if someone copies their sheikh's style of beard (while knowing a longer beard is better and closer to the sunnah). What is the remedy for waswasa on fear of "being pleased with sin" / "approval of sin" or waswasa on"fear of istihlal". Any advice for someone who gets waswasa about intentions and obsessively thinks about permissibility and compulsively researches about matters.
It really depends on your personal understanding of the matter. Personally I believe that the recommendation to have long beards was meant to fulfill a purpose (to distinguish the Muslims from the non-Muslims) at a certain time and place (in the context of the early Islamic community in Medina). If the beard had been a crucial aspect of the Muslim identity, we would have expected to have many more hadiths recommending it.
So dealing with such matters depends on your personal hermeneutic approach to hadith. Personally I consider the Quran’s commands and prohibitions to be timeless, meaning that apply to all times. But as for hadith, they should be interpreted as having a dual aspect: one aspect is the Prophet’s PBUH reception of non-Quranic revelation (such as how to perform the prayer), while the second aspect is the Prophet’s PBUH personal approaches and solutions to the problems of his time.
So when the Prophet PBUH recommends that we let the beard grow, rather than considering it a divine command, we can consider it a recommendation that is not meant to overpower a Muslim person’s own will and preferences. A Muslim has the choice of either following the recommendation or doing something else that is more fitting to their own time and place.
The issues of makrūh (disliked) and mustaḥabb (recommended) are not commandments but things that are on an equal footing with a person’s cultural and personal context, meaning that if they have a reason to do otherwise, this is not a sin. It is left to their own logic and preferences to determine what to do. If these things were meant to be commands and prohibitions, they would have been expressed as such. But they are not.
The solution to your waswasa could be to dedicate yourself to the Quran and its commandments, making it the constitution of your life. As for the makrūh and mustaḥabb things, by considering them equals to your own choices and preferences (rather than considering them orders meant to control you), you can perhaps convince yourself not to be bothered by them. Of course there are different levels of makrūh, so I am not recommending just ignoring them all.
The Prophet PBUH had infinite respect for his Companions and allowed them their own freedom sometimes to even go against his wishes. Some Companions wore silk despite it being prohibited because they had a skin condition that made other types of clothing bothersome to them and the Prophet PBUH permitted it. Think of the Prophet PBUH as a kindly friend and mentor rather than a controlling judge over you. His commands and prohibitions cannot be ignored, but his recommendations can be treated as gentle and friendly advice.
At least, that is my approach. I am dedicated to following every letter of the Quran and every proven command and prohibition of the Prophet PBUH. This is the constitution of my Islam and enables me to feel fully “Islamic” in my identity despite the fact that I do not have a long beard.
April 22, 2019
The Islamic ruling on donating corpses for scientific research
This is a matter of difference among scholars and some prohibit the use corposes for scientific research. But According to a fatwa by the Qatari Fatwa Authority, donating one’s body to be used for scientific research is permitted since it fulfills a good purpose and is not opposed to any of the fundamental precepts of the Sharia.
The scholar Gad al-Haq Ali (of al-Azhar University) permitted using the bodies of certain corpses (those who are found dead by government agencies and their identity cannot be established, and those whose identity is known but have no known relatives) for scientific research as it is practiced by some countries.
However, as mentioned here a different ruling prohibits donating the organs of dead people without their having expressed their consent while alive, therefore the person must have expressed their to consent to the use of their body in this way while alive.
Source:
Fatwa from the Qatari Fatwa Authority (Arabic PDF)Source of Gad al-Haq Ali’s fatwa (Arabic PDF)
The Islamic ruling on cremation
According to the Qatari Fatwa Authority, the human body possesses dignity even after death, therefore burning the body is not permitted. An authentic hadith tells us that breaking a corpse’s bones is similar to breaking a living person’s bones.
However, the Fatwa goes on to say that if burning human bodies is medically justified (for example when there is a large number of bodies and burying them is not an option, and the spread of disease may be feared because of the decaying bodies), then it is permitted.
Source:
Fatwa from the Qatari Fatwa Authority (Arabic PDF)
Listening to the Quran
You mentioned that you listen to the Quran everyday, what website do you use to listen to the Quran?
I don’t use a website. I have the Quran recitation on my phone and use the Listen Audiobook Player app to play it.
Is celebrating 15 of Shaban (Barat) a bida?
What is your opinion on Shab e Barat? Some say it is bidah some say it's not
Regarding all supposedly bidʿa acts of worship I believe Ibn Taymiyyah has the most sensible opinion (unfortunately most of those who claim to follow him do not take the trouble to read him carefully). His opinion is this:
Those who sincerely perform the act of worship, believing that they are doing a good deed, may be greatly rewarded by God for it.Those who are not convinced that the act of worship is legitimate should avoid it.
Personally I am in the second camp; I am not a fan of most of these forms of worship and avoid them. But I do not criticize those take pleasure and satisfaction in them. It is their business and God may reward them for their effort and sincerity.
For more on Ibn Taymiyya see my essay Ibn Taymiyya and His Times.
What do Muslims think of non-Muslims?
As salamu alaikum wa rahmatullah. Would you kindly explain to me how the religious Muslims think that people other than them are apostates or infidels? I'm a Muslim, but I find this rather rude and unpleasing. If Muslims were given some kind of ability to shift perspective with them, I doubt the Muslims would want to learn to understand their viewpoints. This is something that I cannot fathom.
Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh,
Please see the articles on the page Non-Muslims in Islam where I answer your questions in detail. If you have further questions please feel free to submit a new one.