Val Prozorova's Blog, page 7

The Science of Rejection

A good friend once sent me a post that came at the best and worst time of my writing career. It was a post about rejection, and how it was not only inevitable, but constant. "Not 'if' you get rejected, but 'when'" it repeated.

It's true enough. I am not new to rejection. I doubt there are more than a handful of people in the entire world who are unfamiliar with it. Rejection is a constant hum that hangs over you, like a mosquito in your room that you know will bite you but you can't see it and find it to clap it dead.

Most of the time, you find a way to ignore it - it's always there, and it always will be, and surely most of the time it's a passing thing that goes on its way? Most of the time. Some of the time it hits at the wrong turn of the mood, or at a bad time of the year, and suddenly it's an overwhelming ocean you can't breach the surface of no matter how hard you try.

I've had a few of those days, recently.

And it's interesting to me that my immediate response was to shrug it off, claim that there was always another opportunity and another time to submit the story, that perhaps this one just didn't gel with the editor, and that's not a reflection on me... my immediate response was to make light of it, to find the positives, to be a humble and grateful writer.

To quote The Matrix, "fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony."

This post happened upon my timeline within an hour of the first of what is now three rejections in two days.

So, I've decided to parse through rejection in a different way, today, and accept the feelings that come with it. Hopefully this will help anyone else going through a similar tailspin, or at least give them a laugh if they're not.

Firstly, I am mad. I am genuinely mad that some rejections come within 8 hours of your initial submission, telling you in a polite copy-paste way that you're appreciated but not good enough. Surely it takes longer than 8 hours to decide. Surely it takes longer than that when they claim in the aforementioned email that over 150 stories were sent in. Was there an agenda? Were people already selected? If so then take the call down, let people know not to bother.

Next, I am heartbroken. I understand, logically, that everything is in the eye of the beholder/reader/editor/judge, I get that. That doesn't stop me from being upset as heck because something I worked so hard on, and put my soul into, wasn't even worth a longer look.

After that, I'm exhausted. I am so exhausted. I am tired of putting on a happy front about how next time will be the right time, I am tired of being positive when I want to go into a soundproof room and SCREAM about the injustice of it all.

In the end, I am back to status quo.

It doesn't take long for me anymore, no more than an hour, two at most if the story really took something out of me to write. But what I've realized is that I don't let myself do that properly anymore, I don't let myself grieve, in a way, for that lost opportunity because I sweep it under the rug of taking everything lightly and putting on a tough-as-nails front. You can only do that for so long before the nails start to bend under the pressure.

So I guess the tl;dr of this is that rejection is inevitable, and that you should allow yourself to go through your own process of dealing with it.

I am entirely genuine in my positive posts, I truly believe that next time will be the right time, I truly believe that rejection teaches you more than it harms you, and I really do know that it makes me stronger. At the same time, once in a while, I am also allowed to be the person who is upset by it, who curls into a ball and complains, who tries to call the universe out on being an asshole.

Coz it is an asshole.

But it's also old enough to not give a damn what I think about it.

Onwards and upwards, readers and writers and creative explorers. It is not this day, after all.

V

 

Polychrome Ink Volume IV

Very proud to have another story with Polychrome Ink magazine.

 

You can find issue IV on sale at their shop, and I would also highly recommend giving their Patreon a look, and donating if you can. I have never met more hard working, accepting, or beautiful people than those who work for this enterprise, and they truly deserve your attention and support.

 

'Round the World... in 100 Days

Hello wonderful supporters and visitors to the page!

I've started a campaign on GoFundMe to help raise some money for the trip to London I will take in March next year. Unfortunately, living so far away, a trip that is as short as just one week can set me back several thousands of dollars. Any and all help with be incredibly appreciated.

Pens Are Mightier Than Swords

 

Give the button a click to go to the campaign, or if for any reason it isn't working that day, you can find it here as well.

Thank you thank you THANK YOU all for your support, financially and emotionally. It means everything to me, always.

In Light of Recent Events

It's difficult for me to write this entry, only because I realize how it must come across when someone living on the other side of the world to the United States claims that the recent election directly has an impact on their life. I understand that it could come off as attention-seeking, or using a media storm to "jump on a bandwagon" so to speak.

And I suppose there is only so much I can say, and people will still believe what they will.

I feel scared, and worried, and upset in regards to the outcome of the election. I feel that some people, in the USA and outside of it, may be unaware of how just how far-reaching this result truly is.

There is now elected proof that being unqualified means nothing whatsoever, for the most important position in the country. There is now elected proof that being a misogynist, a racist, an idiot, a homophobe, an ignorant and loud moron is not only welcome but allowed and accepted. This reaches far farther than the United States, though currently that is where the storm begins.

There have been protests in other countries. There have been angry outbursts. There have been extremists. There has been danger, for anyone who is not just like Donald Trump.

Yes, even in New Zealand.

The world is changing, and it's frightening, and there is a charge in the air that feels like lightning above the ocean. Within hours of the results, people began to panic. Within hours of the results, people were giving up. Within hours of the results, one of my closest friends, and one of the bravest people I know, claimed that he would never leave the country that just drove itself into the earth, that he would stand and fight, because he had a lot of work to do.

After that, the tides turned with my circles of friends, in the USA and beyond. More and more of us decided to stay. More and more of us decided that this is the time for our words to change the world, because the end of an era is the best time for that to happen.

This is the time to write the words that you were always scared to say.

This is the time to make art that will make people cry and wonder.

This is the time to raise your voice, and strike your pose, and stand up and not back down.

I won't.

The bravest man I know won't.

And for anyone else who won't either, we stand with you, always. My words won't be quiet, they will be heard across the ocean and they will be heard by those who need to hear them, my friends and my allies and those who I haven't the honor yet to know, in the country that is trying to keep them quiet.

Eroticon 2017 Update

The schedule is up on the Eroticon website :D for those interested, I am speaking on Sunday, March 5th, at the end of the day at 14:20PM

More updates as they happen, for now... the count down continues!

I will be attending Eroticon 2017!

That's right! The most exciting thing that could have happened to me has happened: I have been invited to be a speaker at next year's Eroticon in London, March 4th-5th!

I will be speaking about the power of fan fiction and its influence on the writing and reading and consumption of erotic literature. You can find me on their site here, and the summary of my talk below:

"A brief look into the power of fan fiction as a medium, and an incredibly useful stepping stone to safely get into reading and writing erotica. It is not only a way to connect people through a safe and accessible environment, but also a great way to start in on the publishing world. While the content of fandoms themselves isn't pertinent for this talk, what they mean to the community - and the writing world at large - certainly is. In short, this is a talk about the latest 'dirty little secret' in the writing industry that people of our interests and tastes will appreciate a peek into, from someone who started out behind the curtain."

I can't wait to get there, and to meet the incredible people who will take the time to come and listen. Not only that, but I get to be part of such an incredible community of talented writers, speakers, publishers, readers and creatives in one of the most inspiring cities in the world!

If you would like to buy tickets, check out the Eroticon website and get on it, it will be a weekend well worth taking the time to enjoy!

For more info on this event and others I am attending, organizing or am part of, feel free to visit my new website over at http://valprozorovawriter.space

I am officially a speaker at Eroticon 2017!!

This is the exciting news I have BURSTING to tell people, and now that it's up on official channels I finally can!

 

I am going to be a speaker at the 2017 Eroticon, held in London March 4th and 5th, and I will be speaking about the power and influence of fan fiction in regards to the writing, reading and sharing of erotica. I am beyond excited. I am so proud. This is a huge step for me, who is very, very new to the industry, and I could not be more honored that the amazing organizers would take a chance on me.

If you're around London then, or think you can get there and want to have a look, you can get tickets on their website. There is such an exciting lineup next year, and it would be a brilliant thing to go to if you're thinking of getting into the industry, or if it's a genre you love to read.

More information as I get it, but for now... thank you, thank you, thank you, all of you, for your endless support and encouragement.

Once more unto London, then, folks!

- V

A Novel Accepted For Publication

Over the weekend, I got some incredible news: a novel that one of my co-writers and I had written and been honing for editing and publication got accepted... and will be published!

I am still in awe, this is such a huge thing for the both of us. Not only because the story means so much, and took so much out of us, but also because this is a story we have wanted to have told, and read, by a lot of people. This is exciting and thrilling and absolutely terrifying, and we are both so excited to share the process as it goes along.

In the meantime, here's the synopsis for the story - we hope you find it as exciting as we do!

Set during the Lavender Scare of the early 1950’s, James and Kitty Alder have recently relocated to Washington, DC for James to accept a position teaching for the State Department. After too many drinks at his own housewarming party, James meets Henry, a doctor of Czech descent and his neighbor from across the street. The connection is immediate, and clumsily, James invites him to the garage, where they share a drunken kiss before parting ways with alarm.

What follows is a story that spans almost two decades, cataloging the secret relationship between the two men, how the affair impacts both of their marriages and their lives. James admits himself to a mental institution in an attempt to ‘cure’ himself and bring both of their lives back to how they were, after his estranged wife reveals that she is pregnant. Henry loses his job and his wife, because of his devotion to the man he loves.

Despite the setbacks and difficulties, both the two men, and their wives - whom we follow throughout the story as well, on their own personal journeys - find new lives for themselves, and discover that the impact of their relationship could be more far reaching than their own small circle, and could help many more people than it initially hurt.

The story comes to a close during the Stonewall Riots in 1969, with James’ daughter participating in an effort to get the story of her father and his partner to mean more than just articles in the paper. Henry and James continue to live happily together. Kitty finds her own happiness, while remaining close friends with the two of them.

This story, though itself fictional, intertwines through historical events, bringing a new light to a dark time in LGBT history.

Love of the Game Cover Reveal

Very excited to present the cover for an anthology I am part of, released October 19th!

Also proud to see that my MMA story is mentioned on the back cover - pretty awesome!

Last few days in London before I head home. This has been such an inspiring and incredible trip, and I can't wait to come back again. And I will, I am sure I will.

- V

The Intimacy of Tube Stations

Once you've carried your 30kg suitcase as well as two shoulder bags up and down the stairs of perhaps 5 or 6 different tube stations in one night - because some lines are "closed due to planned engineering work" - it's hard to fall asleep for some reason.

So, a quick update from me!

The book launch for the Back to School Anthology has been pushed back a week, so now I have TWO exciting anthologies coming out on the 19th of October! Stay tuned on here and on my Twitter and Facebook pages for more information. I will try my hardest to be at the book launch party this year, but with travel, it may prove a little difficult.

I am currently working on several articles for FactualFacts - all on phobias - that I hope to have up within the week, and I have sent a very important email to some very interesting people that I am anxiously awaiting the result of. I shall keep you posted on this particularly secret bit of information.

Three more days in London and then off home. This vacation has been eye-opening on so many levels, and I am so excited to get back to Auckland and push forward with a few projects that have been brewing throughout my time here!

- V