Val Prozorova's Blog, page 3
September 3, 2017
Leading Up To The Release...
As the day draws ever nearer for The Unmentionables release, I'm left wondering why I am feeling so much more than just elation. So, as any first time author with too many a typo and too fast a typing speed, I figured I would try to figure out what's up.
Who knows, maybe my weirdness will help someone whose finger is hovering over the "publish" button, and who feels the same miasma of emotions that I am currently.
What I can say, first of all, is definitely push that button.
Go on. Right now.
This has been my first experience in larger scale publication. I have stories in anthologies and journals, and I am extraordinarily proud of them, but I have never before undertaken something as huge as this project.
Initially, neither my co-writer nor I had any hope for this going anywhere. We were too used to our work finding its audience online on AO3, and not outside of that sphere. But we decided that if any of our work was worth attempting to send out into the world, this one was, so we pulled it from its initial home and let it fly into the frightening world of "real publication".
And we got interest. Our first choice publisher accepted the manuscript and we were given a contract, and suddenly we were on our way to having our words reach more people than we could even imagine. This was it. We were going to be novelists, not just writers of short fiction. This was it. Our big break together as writers!
But life changes as life is wont to, and we didn't end up remaining friends. Our lives went separate ways and we both got busy with new projects and new people, and our connection faded out as quickly as it had initially sparked up. Now, I've never been through a marriage, and thus never been divorced, but editing this story together felt a little like what I imagine attending very calm and civil lawyer-supervised meetings in regards to who has custody of our novel-child over the summer would feel.
Besides discussing who would edit which chapter, and when we wanted to get the work in by, we didn't talk. I felt like the spark that had been there when we originally created these characters and this story was gone, and I was absolutely terrified that it would come across in the editing and production work.
But - just as kids of divorced parents grow up to be healthy and happy adults most of the time - the novel took on its new shape with the help of our amazing editor, and became what it is today. 93,000 words of love, anguish, history, forgiveness and moving forward. I couldn't be more proud of the novel.
So... why bring all this up? Why does it matter?
I guess because there is an expected reaction to knowing your work is going to be published that is often celebrated and publicized, and since I am feeling those things and also many more, I felt for a long time like something was wrong with me in regards to how I reacted to the news that on September 6th this year, this book would be available for others to hold and read and fall in love with.
For one thing, I feel like this is an ending, not a beginning for me. Saying that, I don't mean it negatively. It just feels like an end of an era; an era of writing with this person, of bringing our characters to life together, of staying up late talking and supporting each other through tough times. So, in a way, when this book releases I can release a lot of pent up tension and worry that has been hanging over me like a cloud for the last ten months.
For another, I feel like this is my first and last novel. I've never managed to write anything of this caliber alone - and I've tried many times! I guess I'm a short story writer, not a novelist, and that's alright with me. I am so proud of my short work, and cannot wait to collate it into an anthology to share with others. So this has been a road of discovery, for sure, in that I now know more clearly who I am as a writer.
I also feel like I am standing on the edge of a cliff about to fall off. The last time I felt this way, I was literally sitting on the edge of a plane, ready to fall from it for a charity parachute jump. I feel like my stomach is going to fall out my butt, like my throat is too tight to breathe, like everything is going to come at me so quickly I won't be able to enjoy it before it's all over. I'm scared I won't let myself live in the moment. I won't let myself sit back and watch people pick this book up and give their honest opinion on it.
I won't lie, I am terrified of bad reviews. I always have been. I immediately resort to a 12-year-old state where I decide that clearly if one person doesn't like my work then no one else can like it and I might as well just quit. Just thinking about it now makes me laugh, because I know how ridiculous it is, and all at once it makes me tense, just waiting for the ARC readers to give their feedback.
Finally, I feel good. I feel genuinely good at finishing something so enormous, I feel good having gone through this process with such a professional team, I feel good having experienced what it's like to kill your darlings (in our case, 40,000 of them). I feel fulfilled. I guess this is how parents feel when their kids get awards.
In the end, I just wanted to say that there is no such thing as a "wrong" or "right" way to respond to publication. Just as there is no "right" or "wrong" way to respond to anything. I feel legitimate in all my feelings, I feel like someone walking into a bright future with a novel to my name and piles and piles of words before me to discover. I hope if you're still hovering over the "publish" button, you decide to press it. Because while this is one of the scariest things I have ever done - yes, including jumping out of a plane - it is also one of the most magical.
August 29, 2017
The Awesome Amazon Giveaway!
Another chance to win an Amazon gift card? Seriously?
Hell yes.
I am part of another give away, and this one only requires you to like some Amazon writer pages. It's win-win, really. You get updates to awesome writing in your favourite genres, and a chance to win $120 worth of Amazon dollars to spend on them!
Check out the Rafflecopter page, get clicking, and find some amazing new writers in your inbox.
August 22, 2017
Advanced Reading Copies of The Unmentionables
Two weeks til the official release of this novel, and I am looking for ARC readers and reviewers - could that be you?
If you'd like an advanced reading copy of this book, in return for an honest review of it, please get in touch via my website, or through any of my social media channels, so we can organize that. Anyone who participates goes into the draw to win a signed paperback copy of the book!
I am so excited to share this with everyone, and cannot wait to see what people think!
August 20, 2017
Feeling Sinful? This Anthology Is For You...
August 4, 2017
RAFFLECOPTER PAGE HOP!
Come join me and 40 other amazing writers for this awesome event!
So many awesome prizes, and incredible writers to get to know. Think of all those new books for your Kindle or on your shelves, and the new faces you'll get to see popping up onto your feed when you like a new writer's page.
Personally, I've met some of my most trusted and inspiring people through merely saying hi, so believe me when I say it couldn't hurt!
Check out the link below to start a-hopping, come say hi to me on the way, and be in to win some seriously cool swag from some seriously cool writers! This runs from August 5th to August 15th; so if the page isn't quite open yet, be a little patient and give it a few hours. Well worth the wait!
https://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/77deea0946/
Have fun with it!!
July 25, 2017
"Sacrilege" Anthology has a release date!
I love this publishing house; I love the editors, the organizers, and the ethos, and I would recommend them to every single person I know. So I am incredibly proud to be included in this anthology!
Be careful, though, this one is a little more steamy than usual.
You can find the pre-order links on their website, over on Mugwump Press, as well as Amazon, Kobo, and iBooks!
July 20, 2017
July 13, 2017
WE HAVE A RELEASE DATE FOR "THE UNMENTIONABLES"!!
And that date is September the 6th.
Mark it in your calendars! Spread the word! I am beyond excited!!
July 2, 2017
This Is What Depression Looks Like...
This is what depression looks like:
Eating three-day-old pizza because while you don’t really want to eat, you already wasted your money on take-out so you have to. It’s staring at the avalanche of tissues and scribbled pages and oily boxes and wondering when you let yourself slip so low. It’s sleeping in to the very last moment you can before getting up and forcing yourself to go to work, because you need to pay rent, and you need to feed your cat, and you need to be a functional human being.
Maybe if you go, you’ll kickstart your brain into being normal again.
Depression looks like soap scum on your shower curtain, because you didn’t clean it last week like you’d planned to, and you haven’t been in there since. It looks like the pieces of rubbish on your floor that you walk over every day and never bother to pick up, even though tell yourself you should every time you nearly slip on them in your socks. It looks like the spider webs joining together the dry, dead leaves of your Japanese peace lily that you haven’t watered for four months.
You haven’t taken it to the dump yet because it’s there to remind you that you can’t take care of anything, even yourself.
Depression is eighteen mugs in your sink; some growing cultures of bacteria, some hosting bundles of spores, because you have the strength to fill the sink with water, but not the strength to actually wash the mugs in it. It’s stagnant and it stinks, and every once in awhile you drain it to try again. It is a filthy fridge, because you try to have healthy food in there to eat, and then forget what eating is for, and it rots.
Depression isn’t pretty. Depression isn’t inspiring. Depression isn’t aspirational. Depression is heavy and tiring and seemingly endless. Depression does not make you a better artist or a better writer, it doesn’t give you “cred” or an “in”, it doesn’t guarantee your immortality or that your work will be seen.
It is such a dangerous stereotype to put on people seeking to express themselves creatively, and it really needs to stop. The stigma needs to be broken around those people who suffer with their mental health, and the underbelly needs to be turned to the light. People fighting depression are warriors. They are much stronger than anyone thinks they are. But even they wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone, not a single human being.
Depression shouldn’t be seen as a stepping stone to becoming stronger. It is an obstacle, and it is harmful, and it is hurtful. It’s a road that some people accidentally veer to.
I have depression. I have anxiety. I have borderline personality disorder, and I am not ashamed to admit it. But I will not hide behind the shiny false masks of how it makes me a more creative individual, and I will not stand for people using it as a trend piece.
-=-
This is brought to you by several weeks of deep unhappiness, and a constant need to remind certain people that there is a lot more to mental illness than just 'being sad to be cool'.
June 28, 2017
The Afterlife of Discarded Objects
I am so flattered and honored to be one of the feature stories on The Afterlife of Discarded Objects this month, with my story about my grandmother's English fine china collection.
This is a story that is very close to my heart for a number of reasons. It is so wonderful to see that someone else appreciates the strangeness and beauty of this collection and of how extraordinary my grandmother is. I wrote this for her when she wasn't feeling very well, and upon reading it she felt better.
I think there is always a power in words, and it's amazing to see that mine can have such an affect on a loved person.
Do give it a read, and let me know what you think, and maybe contribute something brilliant to this amazing project yourself!
