Nick Cato's Blog, page 30

Creepy Critters on a Mission...

DIAPHANOUS by Roy C. Booth and R. Thomas Riley (2011 MinnKota Publications / 57 pp / eBook)


What seems like a missing persons tale quickly develops into an old-school creature feature in this nifty collaboration.  I always have a hard time reviewing these short tales without giving too much away, but suffice it to say the sense of impending doom the authors create between the worried characters creates a tension that'll have you buzzing through this in no time.


It's no easy task to pull off a monster story without a little bit of camp creeping in, but Booth and Riley have done it...and if the suspense doesn't get your goosebumps going, the wicked critters on display here surely will.  DIAPHANOUS is a fine way for any monster fan to KILL an hour or so.

It Could've Been a Classic...

(WARNING: THE FOLLOWING REVIEW IS FULL OF SPOILERS.  YOU CAN THANK ME NOW)
When a couple of my friends heard I was going to watch A SERBIAN FILM (arguably one of the most controversial horror films to hit the scene since 1989's NEKROMANTIK), they were in disbelief.  While I was a big "gorehound" in my younger days, I'm really not into extreme horror; I thought the more extreme underground/backyard films that NEKROMANTIK and its ilk spawned in the early 90s helped drag the genre deeper into the toilet than it had already fallen.  And don't get me started on the "torture porn" films that have emerged since HOSTEL became a semi hit; to me these types of films are nothing more than porn for sadists.
But like any horror film fan who has been dared to watch things nearly once a year since he was a kid, I simply HAD to see this movie: after reading several reviews (one that explained in graphic detail all the mayhem that goes on), I gained that rollercoaster-enthusiast thing: here was another movie people were saying goes too far and that "normal" horror fans won't be able to handle.  You went on Lightning Loops, you survived the Great American Scream Machine…but can you handle the 70-foot, 220 MPH drop of (insert your own coaster here).  I mean, I figured since I sat through 1977's SALO: THE 120 DAYS OF SODOM without losing my sanity, and got through the infamous ending of NEKROMANTIK 2 without throwing up, how bad can this thing be?
Well, like 1989's HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER (which I still think is one of the most disturbing films of all time), A SERBIAN FILM "works" on a psychological level, despite the gruesome visual violence and imagery.  I know there must be some who have seen this who are laughing at my statement, but it's how I felt when the film ended.  Reviewers from Serbia have decried this film over on the Internet Movie Data Base, claiming it to be nothing but pure exploitation trash and questioning why the films' two stars (who happen to be two of the most popular actors in Serbia) would even attach themselves to such a vile project.  I personally have no idea…but suffice it to say, A SERBIAN FILM is both a bottom of the barrel exploitation film that DOES INDEED go way too far, yet at the same time has an addictive storyline that kept me glued to the screen and that you won't find in most extreme films.  And what makes the whole project more disturbing than anything is the quality: its shot and edited very well, features top-notch acting and a score that creates tension in all the right places.
Don't get me wrong: Although it may sound like it, I'm not praising this thing.  A couple of friends of mine don't even want their names or websites associated with it.  But when a film with this much controversy behind it comes down the pike, it's worth taking a look at WHY.  Here's a brief look at the story, then my final thoughts before I jump in the shower and try to forget some of the images I just sat through…
A SERBIAN FILM deals with a retired porno actor named Milos.  He lives with his wife Marija their and young son, Stefan (who looks to be about 7 years old), struggling to make ends meet.  They catch Stefan watching one of Milo's old porno films in the first scene, and explain to him that daddy was just "playing" with that girl.  (There's a few scenes of Stefan asking his dad questions about the "stirring he felt down there when he watched that film," that—to me—were more disturbing than the coming violence.)
One day Milos gets a call from an actress he used to work with.  She introduces him to a director named Vukmir (who looks a bit like NON from the 1978 SUPERMAN movie) who in turn offers Milos a huge sum of cash to come out of retirement to star in a new project he's filming: the only catch is Milos must sign a contract without any knowledge of what the film is about (Vukmir explains it's a fresh, real-life type of artistic porn genre he's creating).  When Milo's wife agrees the money is too much to turn down, he signs the contract.  But after doing a couple of rough sex scenes where a young girl (about 12 years old) is watching from the corner, Milos tells Vukmir he can't be involved with the abuse of women or the involvement of children.  And when Vukmir tries to explain to Milos another new genre he's creating ("Newborn Porn"), Milos storms out of the room (and most viewers will, too).
Milos wakes up 3 days later to learn he had been abducted and drugged with something that has turned him into a sexual monster.  The remainder of the film features Milos' memory coming back (with the help of footage he finds on video), and it's in these sequences that A SERBIAN FILM had gained its notoriety.  (SPOILER ALERT): There's a decapitation-during-sex scene (that while gruesome, was actually done more disturbing in NEKROMANTIK 2), women being beaten, a newborn baby gets raped (yes, you read that correctly), heads are smashed to bloody pulps, Milos is raped by one of the cameraman while knocked out, and in what is arguably one of the most tasteless, demented endings I've ever sat through, a drugged-up Milos unknowingly rapes his young son as his brother rapes his wife next to him, and when he realizes what's happening, Milos and his wife beat and rip his brother and the filmmakers to shreds.  Amazingly, after all this, there's actually a wicked twist of an ending (although it's more depressing than sitting through PINK FLOYD THE WALL 10 times in a row).
While I was impressed with the overall quality of the film (especially the acting), I'm convinced director Srdjan Spasojevic simply wanted to up the ante—to make something more disgusting than what has come beforehand, despite his claim that A SERBIAN FILM is an allegory on how Serbia's government keeps "raping" their citizens from the cradle to the grave.  Seriously: GIVE ME A BREAK.  (Spasojevic also clowns around during his "serious" introduction, bringing his whole point into question). The film would still have been a rough one to watch without all the use (and abuse) of children, and in fact might have been regarded as a true classic of the genre.  I can only imagine what went (and still must be going) through the young actor who played Stefan's head (and I'd like to know what kind of parents would let such a young child act in something like this).  And it's the whole child-element that makes this film as disturbing as it is, and that will also hinder it from reaching a wider audience or gaining any serious respect from genre fans.  Even us horror fans who have "seen it all" don't need to see this (especially those of us who are parents) played out on a movie screen, and I know I won't be watching it again anytime soon.  If ever.
While A SERBIAN FILM could've been a true classic, it crosses the line that should not be crossed, and hence won't be mentioned alongside other extreme horror films such as CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST and NEKROMANTIK.  It's actually kind-of sad as there's so few horror films out there that leave a mark on you anymore…but this is a mark those seeking entertainment simply don't need.
Unless you are the type of fan who HAS to see it all, do yourself a favor and skip A SERBIAN FILM.  Your mind will thank you.
Now where's my scrub brush?...

Vukmir and his female assistant look on as they force Milos to perform in a snuff/porn movie in A SERBIAN FILM .

Yet Another Comic Geek Update

The third issue of IDW's GODZILLA: KINGDOM OF MONSTERS continues introducing more monsters (Battra emerges by two mysterious young French girls) and we're promised the unleashing of Mothra in issue 4.  There's some humor thrown in courtesy of a pop star named "Girly YaYa" who advocates monster rights (!), and it was nice to see Anguirus smash two rednecks to death with its club-like tail.  Phil Hester's artwork is fine (although at times it seems a tad rushed) and Eric Powell & Tracy Marsh's script promises more fun to come.  My only complaint is the 3 variant covers that seem to come with each issue...the above one is what I found at my local comic shop, but it's not the better of the bunch.  I wish they'd stick with one design.



Dark Horse's KING CONAN re-vamp ends with the 4th issue, concluding the classic Robert E. Howard story THE SCARLET CITADEL.  With the help of the sorcerer Pelias, Conan arrives just in time to save his kingdom from attack.  Tomas Giorello's pencils are among the best ever to render the barbarian, here in all his head-lobbing, face slashing glory.  The death of Tsotha is quite epic here, and it all ends with a great quote from author Howard dated march 10, 1935.  Great stuff.

Meanwhile, the 5th issue of Dark Horse's CONAN: ROAD OF KINGS rages on with another action packed, brutal issue.  After narrowly escaping a gigantic DUNE-like worm made of gold, Conan manages to catch up to Olivia and her captors, only to face the axeman who's scheduled to decapitate them the next morning.  We're also introduced to super-bitch queen Sophonesba, who along with her astrologer friend Necrodemus, influence the King of Aurolla.  We're left off on a potential head-crushing cliff hanger for the 6th issue, and also news that Dark Horse will be doing a 2-issue Conan tale titled CONAN: ISLAND OF NO RETURN, before returning to the ROAD OF KINGS series with a new story arc in issue 7.

Another Double Dose of Keenemageddon

ENTOMBED by Brian Keene (2011 Camelot Books / 204 pp / limited edition hc)


I don't splurge for limited editions too often, but when I heard Keene had written a sequel to DEAD SEA, I just had to have it.  While this takes place in the same "world" as DEAD SEA, I really wouldn't consider ENTOMBED a "sequel;" there's no zombie whales or people adrift at sea.  However, it takes a turn I never saw coming and made me happy despite the slight disappointment this wasn't the type of sequel I had in mind.


Told from the point of view of Peter (who gave guided tours of a former fallout bunker located beneath a posh hotel before all hell broke loose), this is one of those zombie tales where the undead take a back seat to the living: there's limited zombie action, but Keene's claustrophobic tale of a man bent on survival against those he thought were on his side is quite grim and difficult to put down.


When they realize starvation is nigh, the 17 trapped survivors in (said) bunker agree cannibalism will be the only way to survive.  They vote for Peter to be the first one to be killed; but a friend lets the cat out of the bag and Peter finds time to hide before the hungering humans could take him in his sleep.  As Peter kills for self defense (and survival), someone refers to him as a "serial killer," causing Peter's mind to shoot in dozens of directions.  IS he really doing this to survive, or is he also enjoying the power killing seems to brings him?


ENTOMBED is a violent, satisfying tale of survival in the face of the apocalypse, although those looking for an all-out zombie story might be a bit disappointed.


There's a bonus second story here titled WHITE FIRE, where a tornado knocks over a van and unleashes a virus that's basically a suped-up meningitis.  While killer virus stories are nothing new, Keene injects a fine supernatural element that adds a bit of mystery to the whole thing, and there's a few nods to other Keene shorts that'll have fans grinning in end-time glee.


Glenn Chadbourne provides some great interior artwork, while Gak's cover captures the main tale to the tee.  Camelot Books did a fine job with the production here, as did the author who once again proves he's hard to beat when it comes to end of the world horrors.

iS iZombie Losing iT?

Vertigo's iZOMBIE starts anew with the 12th issue.  "Ghost Stories" centers around ghost girl Eleanor listening to stories told by her ghost friends in the cemetery.  Unhappy when she tells her own story, she meets a zombie girl (Gwen) in this telling of how the two met.  While Guest artist Gilbert Hernandez does a good job, Mike Allred's stylings were missed.  The issue is also cut short for a preview of another Vertigo title, so I'm hoping this medicore offering isn't a picture of things to come.


Issue 13 is more like it---although this time it's cut even shorter for a new mini-series titled THE DEAD PRESIDENTS (that I really didn't care for) and another preview for another vertigo title.  Seriously--if Vertigo can't fill an entire issue with an iZOMBIE story (which we're paying for), then perhaps it's time to call it quits?  Too bad, because the short and sweet tale here, "ARRIVALS AND EXITS (part one)" is the kind of thing that has kept me and all fans of this comic series glued to the pages since the first issue last year.  Mike Allred is back on the artwork and Chris Robinson's writing is as addictive as ever.  Here's hoping for fewer previews and more of Gwen and the ghouls...

A BLOODY Good Time

BLEED by Ed Kurtz (2011 / 390 pp / tp)


Walt's a young man with a promising future: he has just purchased a fix-er-up house out in the sticks, yet close enough to his new job as a high school English teacher.  He's also planning on proposing to his girlfriend Amanda.  He notices a spot on the ceiling one day, and after not being able to get rid of it, the spot begins to grow.  At first it becomes a bigger stain, then eventually, it turns into a pulsating lump.  And as it grows, Amanda notices Walt starting to act strange.  She ends up leaving when she witnesses the ceiling lump eat a cockroach one night; Walt refuses to leave the house or the strange thing that is rapidly taking control of him.


If David Cronenberg and Frank Hennenlotter decided to remake LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS and HELLRAISER, BLEED would be the result.  It reads like an 80s-styled horror novel with the gruesome feel of a classic splatter film--but where most gore-film inspired novels falter, BLEED finds its strength.  The reader cares for Walt, despite him becoming a murdering slave to the blood-thirsty creature, while at the same time we're cheering for Amanda as she attempts to escape the clutches of her now crazed boyfriend and his ever-growing monster.


For a first novel (self published, no less), Kurtz has done a fantastic job, seldom seen even among the best of professionally-released horror novels (i.e. there's NO filler here).  While there's a couple of typos and POV issues, the story is well told, the suspense and gore work side by side, and the touches of Henenlotter-like dark humor work like a charm.  It was also great to see a couple of characters introduced more than halfway through the novel actually work and add to the satisfying conclusion.


I had an absolute blast reading BLEED, and you can tell the author had a blast writing it.  I'm keeping my eye on Ed Kurtz, and hope to see another winner like this from him again soon.

No Dark Things: ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN take Irving Plaza

In 1982, despite being (mainly) a fan of metal and hardcore music, there were several bands I had become a "closet" fan of thanks (primarily) to a local college radio station: Missing Persons, Bow Wow Wow, and, among a host of others, the oddly named ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN.  Their 1980 debut album, 'Crocodiles,' blended punk attitude with Goth vocals and pop sensibilities; several tracks from it have become among my all-time favorites.  I quickly ran out and found (on cassette) their second album, 'Heaven Up Here,' and while it has a bit of a darker, different flavor than the first release, it grew on me in no time.  ECHO went on to record some amazing albums, including their 1983 'Porcupine,' which in my opinion is one of the greatest pop/punk/neo-Goth albums ever recorded.
For whatever reason(s), ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN is one band I always seemed to miss when they came to my area.  To be honest, footage I had seen of them over the years didn't seem too exciting; I've loved their music for years, but on stage they rarely move or do anything to get the crowd going.  But I just had to get to see them one of these years.
Thanks to a good friend of mine (love ya, Sheri!), I was invited to see them this past weekend at Irving Plaza in New York City.  But it wasn't an ordinary ECHO show: the band performed their first two classic albums in their entirety. The idea that I'd actually get to see two of my favorite albums played live made the 2-month wait for the show almost unbearable.
I attended on the first of their two night stint.  By the time the band was three or four songs into their set, I understood the fascination those who have seen them multiple times have.  While Vocalist Ian McCulloch spends most of the time chain smoking between the lyrics, he has that certain "thing" that makes a singer cool; his nearly indecipherable between-song banters in his native British tongue were quite funny (when understood), and despite being a bit under the weather, he managed to do a fine job as the band hoisted him through the 2 albums, then five encores.
The most impressive member of the band is guitarist Will Sergeant.  His constant change of guitars and effects gave each song a unique feel, his fingers sliding through the tracks effortlessly.  His sound on tracks such as ALL THAT JAZZ and OVER THE WALL were almost identical to the album, yet still sounded as fresh as ever.
Some other highlights (for me, anyway) was an extended version of LIPS LIKE SUGAR during the encore, NO DARK THINGS (an amazing Goth-tinged track) and the title track to CROCODILES, one of the band's fastest songs, which had the place hopping around like a den of rock n roll…bunnies!
'Twas a bloody good show…nearly 2 hours and 30 minutes of BUNNYMEN goodness.  After finally seeing them live, and 29 years of listening to their albums, even their goofy name is actually starting to sound cool…



(The drummer was the only band member to have a spotlight, making picture taking quite difficult.  These came out decent...)

Rampaging Rapists attack Washington!

BLOOD BORN by Matthew Warner (2011 HW Press / 497 pp / tp)


When several girls go missing in the Washington, D.C. area, detective Christina Randall goes on the case; the girls who are found have been the victim of rape...but that's far from the worst part.  It seems each victim of this serial rapist has been impregnated--and are experiencing excelerated pregnancies.  Within one week, each victim gives birth to a primate-looking creature that immediately turns and devours its mother.


Margaret Connolly's daughter is now missing.  Margaret works at the CalPark Fertility Clinic, and has been trying to understand the outbreak of bizarre pregnancies.  She begins to loose her marbles when her daughter is abducted, but she eventually meets up with detective Randall and the two begin to piece things together.


BLOOD BORN features genetically-created bigfoot-like creatures who are on a sole mission to breed.  They rape without remorse, causing a quarantine of the D.C. area.  Among several nightmarish scenes is a highway packed with cars trying to escape the city being attacked by the creatures; the blood and guts fly, yet Warner keeps the chills on target without getting silly.  You'd think a novel with rampaging monsters raping women with over-sized penises would garner some laughs...but BLOOD BORN doesn't.  It's serious horror written at a break-neck pace, and despite a larger than usual roster of characters, the reader is never lost.


While BLOOD BORN is a fun monster mash, I wish Warner would've let us in a but more regarding what caused our Third Reich-worshipping genetics doctor to tick; his creatures were "born" from a mistake in an attempt to create the perfect human...but we learn so little of Dr. Nicolae Schaefer that he truly takes a backseat to the his unholy creations (it's suggested Schaefer may even be of supernatural origin, leaving things wide open for a sequel).  But regardless, Warner's 3rd novel is a serious scare-fest, blending police procedural thrillers with plenty of blood, guts, scares, and some of the horniest monsters to hit our nation's capital since the Clinton administration.  You've been warned...

Meanwhile, the Cimmerian Rages on...

Torture's the name of the game in the 4th issue of Dark Horse Comic's CONAN: ROAD OF KINGS.  While in Belverus, the capital of Nemedia, Conan is lured into a trap by a sexy messenger girl who has managed to steal a secret pass phrase.  When Conan is brought before Belverus' king (and refuses to give up any information), he's given over to Arixtheus, the city's chief inquisitor.  Before long Conan's placed in an iron maiden, and just as its spikes begin to enter his flesh, he's "rescued" by a bunch of thugs who have been sent by Shadizar to kill him---only he finds himself fighting alongside his assassins as the city's guards begin to flood Arixtheus' torture chamber.  With a sad ending, a killer cover by Doug Wheatly, and some very well done panels by artist Mike Hawthorne, this stop on the ROAD OF KINGS delivers the barbarian goods big time.

The 3rd issue of Dark Horse's KING CONAN re-vamp continues with the adaptation of the Robert E. Howard classic, THE SCARLET CITADEL.  King Conan continues to tell the story of what he experienced in the dungeons beneath Tsotha-Lanti's citadel: this time how we rescued a man from a hell-spawned plant (that makes the plants in THE RUINS look like chia pets), and how this man, Pelias, a sorcerer and rival to Tsotha-Lanti himself, had been prisoner for 10 years before Conan's rescue.  As Pelias' power comes back, they find Tsotha's looking crystal, and see that Conan's city is coming under attack.  With no normal means to get there in time, Pelias conjures a flying creature (who under artist Tomas Giorello's pencil, looks like a suped-up Cthulhu) who Conan mounts and heads off to free his people.
This tale concludes with the next issue,  but I wish the folks at Dark Horse would keep this title going; between Giorello's phenomenal artwork and Timothy Truman's writing, this duo has been producing some of the best Conan comics ever to see print--BY CROM keep this series alive!

The Nobody is Something

THE NOBODY by Tom Piccirilli (2010 Crossroads Press & Macabre Ink Digital / 100 pp / ebook)
This is the umpteenth noir tale I've read from Piccirilli, and he always manages to craft broken down protagonists you can't help but cheer on.
This time, a man nick-named Cryer comes home to find his young daughter gutted and his wife in the tub with her throat slashed.  To make matters worse, he almost grabs the killer as he's fleeing out a window, only to have a 3-inch blade slammed into his forehead, almost killing him and wiping out his memory in the process.
Much of THE NOBODY features Cryer regaining his memory in various institutions as he searches for who he was before the stabbing, while simultaneously searching for the person who killed his family.  Suspects abound and at times the tension gets as high as I've ever read in a Piccirilli tale.  You probably won't guess who the killer is until the page he or she is revealed.
I'm LOVIN' these brutal, pulpy crime dramas from Mr. Pic...
(NOTE: This was released as a limited edition trade paperback and hardcover in 2008 by Tasmaniac Press, both  now long sold out)