Sara L. Daigle's Blog, page 4

The Birth of Inspiration

One of the strangest experiences I have had recently is an awareness that the “fiction” I’m writing might not be entirely fiction. The Azellian Affairs series is about an alien race with psychic abilities and its interaction with humanity. Is it possible that I’m not writing about things as “out there” as I think? Where DO I get my inspiration? 

All fiction is based in some sort of real experience, event or observation that the author sees in or around him or herself, even the extremely fantastical stuff that some of the old time sci-fi authors used to write. No, we haven’t traveled to the center of the Earth or beamed up into a space ship orbiting Earth—wouldn’t some kind of a transporter be great when we’re struggling through endless traffic or the boredom of a cross country trip, though?!—but many of the inventions that surround us now were only science fiction fifty years ago.

I grew up reading Anne McCaffrey, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Alan Dean Foster, Katherine Kurtz, Isaac Asimov, Carl Sagan (to name a few) and learned more about conservation, culture clash, and human emotions that I would have expected from the fantastical environments they created around the very mundane dramas of every day human (and sometimes nonhuman) interaction. 

Like any other author, I don’t write in a vacuum—I write from the deep well of the collective consciousness and my own experience. As I do that, I begin to ask the question: do every day people have psychic abilities? Are my stories not quite so fantastic as one might think? 

I don’t have an answer. I just have a willingness to ask the question and to be open to whatever arises afterward in myself. And if that willingness takes me to places I would never have expected, well, the books I read years ago helped open me to experiences that are beautiful, transformative and wonderful. Even sometimes downright weird—but totally worth it. It’s certainly made me realize that humans are so much MORE. There is a beautiful simplicity and complexity in humanity—yes, both at the same time—that stirs my imagination and demands I connect with that part of me that is eternal and everlasting to play with what might be possible. 

A fancy answer to a simple question: where DO I get my inspiration? It is very simple: people. People who are doing nothing more dramatic than living their lives. Do I put other people into my stories? Not so much, necessarily—most of my characters are drawn more from aspects of me, not people who come and go in my life—but the people I write about are living lives much like yours or mine, despite the fantastic environments that might be surrounding them. They grow up, fall in love, get hurt and learn how to live with pain—and find joy in their living. We’re all here to follow our own paths. The details belong to us, but the theme is universal, and in that theme, there is lots of room to play and explore. People and the theme of living is my inspiration.   

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Being An Empath - Pain

I’ve seen and experienced some very strange, inexplicable things over the years. Some fun stuff that makes its way into my stories, sometimes. And some really not so fun stuff, that also might make its way into my stories. Because let’s face it. Being human hurts, sometimes, and pain, as much as we don’t want it to be, is a very powerful, very present human experience. 

The lighter, more fun experiences made me realize that maybe those odd moments when someone I love pops into my mind out of the blue might not actually be crazy (or a coincidence). Maybe those are moments when we are both thinking of each other, which then creates a connection, no matter the miles separating us. Or those moments when I’m looking at people and I just know what someone is feeling—animals can very certainly “read” our minds, just by being very sensitive to and completely aware of body language. We can too. We certainly do it as children. Children are very aware of unspoken vibes in a room—whether we adults want them to be or not. That sensitivity to the unspoken around us is sometimes very painful for us, and we shut it down. I certainly did, as a child, because the agony of knowing what others were feeling made me desperately want to help, to make them feel better. We can’t fix others—any therapist, spouse or partner will tell you how futile that attempt is—but it doesn’t mean we don’t try. 

It took me a very long time to learn how to be around pain without trying to fix it, but accepting what arises in and around me and being totally and completely okay with who I am—all the weird little dark human shadows included—got me to a point of knowing that the pain I sense may not be mine. It is sometimes mine, and in those cases, I simply give myself the gentle care I didn’t always feel like I got from those surrounding me. Giving myself the love and support that I kept looking for from others who might or might not be able to provide what I needed—usually not—has completely changed my life and opened a door to perceptions I used to have as a child, didn’t understand, learned how to distrust, and then finally tried to cut out of my life. That attempt not only strangled my sensitivities, it also strangled me and made me want to die. 

It took courage and persistence to reverse that strangulation, and a willingness to be okay with whatever happened in my life. Tragedy and pain have played a part in my life, as it has in everyone’s in some way or another, and for many years I thought I did want to die. Except when that moment of true choice came around and I asked myself what I truly wanted, I said I wanted to live and more than that, I wanted to live in joy. From there, I followed the paths—so-called “mistakes” and all—that led me here, to a point in my life where I am happier and more fulfilled than I ever have been. Pain is still present, of course—it is always part of life—but my relationship with it has so totally changed it doesn’t feel like pain used to any more.  

Being willing to give myself the love and support that I never got from those around me was the key. As I loved and supported myself—whatever that meant for me in the moment, because it varied—I learned to trust me again. As I learned to trust, those lighter, fun experiences become more frequent. I can be an empath who isn’t afraid to be one because I no longer want to fix pain. Everyone, absolutely everyone, who is here on Earth experiences it. When we love and support ourselves through all the pain—physical, emotional, and spiritual—it changes our relationship with it. No matter what pain surrounds me now, it doesn’t feel like pain any more. Other people’s pain isn’t mine, and mine feels totally different. That freedom has opened the door to perceptions I could not have imagined when I was a child, and brought back many of the same sensitivities I did have and tried to shut down. 

My perspective will undoubtedly continue to change, and in the meantime, I’m certainly enjoying all the fun, magical and fantastic experiences this new way of living brings me!   

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Evolving Into Something New: Science Fiction

Science fiction/fantasy is an interesting genre. Over the years, it has encompassed many kinds of stories, from magic and futuristic space battles. Star Wars to Star Trek are two famous screen sci-fi epics and authors like Marion Zimmer Bradley, Andre Norton and Anne McCaffrey offered print sagas of their own. When I was younger, science fiction/fantasy was a catch-all for any kind of fantastic storyline that wasn’t in the form of a reality based, traditional romance, mystery or real life drama. 

The genre has since matured into countless types of science fiction and fantasy categories (high fantasy, urban fantasy, hard science fiction, sci-fi romance, to name a few). Cross-genre stories have appeared, melding fantastic elements such as vampires and werewolves into mystery stories, or gritty detective crime solving. Spiritual elements introduced themselves, although the best science fiction has always had a layer of enduring spiritual truth to it, speaking of humanity’s struggles and fears about being alive. Many of the authors I read as a teenager: Marion Zimmer Bradley, Alan Dean Foster, Ursula K LeGuin, to name a few, wrote stories that were thinly veiled societal commentaries (and some of them not veiled at all), exploring real world problems in a fantastical way. Some writers were positive—humanity would prevail—and some were a bit less optimistic, but all of the best ones wrote stories that revealed our human condition in the midst of even these impossible stories. 

Hard core sci-fi, many stories written by bonafide scientists who could see what was coming, would provide warnings by weaving thrilling stories about what could be. Many of these have come true—try spending any time in the telecom industry and you’ll discover that artificial intelligence is not quite so fantastical as you might think, although as of now, we haven’t created a Terminator-esque SkyNet. Yet). Softer sci-fi explored culture clash between aliens and humans or alien races, de-emphasizing the technology aspect, but honing in on basic human experience nonetheless. 

Yet through all of this, the basic reality remains: the best stories explore our human experience, whether it be through technology or ordinary life with a science fiction twist. We might be writing about other cultures, but we are really writing about ourselves. We are writing about our hopes, fears, experiences, and the truths we are just now beginning to see and experience. It might have fantastic underpinnings, but the truth is, we are writing about ourselves. We are writing about something that we suspect, but don’t necessarily fully know yet. The best stories, the ones that resonate, are the ones with some germ of truth in them. And science fiction, like all of humanity, is evolving with us. We like to escape, but we want to hear truth. And to merge the two: truth cloaked in fun—well, what is better than that? 

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The Next Steps

It’s been a while since my last post—and I apologize to my readers.

Such is the life of an author—the muse can get derailed by all kinds of unexpecteds and apparently, the blog muse is very similar. In my case, however, the derailing was in the form of something quite exciting: I was quite focused on my launch of Book Two, Triangle: Book Two of The Azellian Affairs. I’m happy to say my book launch at Tattered Cover Bookstore in Denver, Colorado went beautifully—I was able to share my experiences on writing the story and the process of getting it launched with a fun group of people. I do so love to stand in front of people, answering their questions about being an author—and questions about my book and the backstory that underlies it. 

After a series of technical difficulties and challenges, Triangle finally made it to the online shelves and is available on Amazon, iBooks, and Barnes and Noble. The actual bookstore shelves were much easier: Both Alawahea: Book One and Triangle: Book Two can be found on the physical Tattered Cover Bookstore shelves and they hosted such a lovely book signing. What a wonderful, supportive environment they offer for Colorado authors! Thank you, Tattered Cover! 

I immediately jumped from launching Triangle into Book Three (not yet named).

The process of writing a book is never a smooth process—at least it never has been for me. Each story is coming from a deep place inside of me, and ever since I started editing Alawahea four or five years ago, the story utterly changed from the original version I wrote. I am exploring this world as much as the readers are. I can say, though, Book Three is quite beyond anything I’ve written yet, and was one of the most difficult books I’ve written. I wrote a version of the story, only to realize that I was trying to cram WAY too much information into it, and to chop it down by about half, focusing instead on one character instead of two. It was rather schizophrenic, too, with each character voice being so different that it didn’t flow particularly well. 

After chopping the book in half and fleshing it back out again, rounding out characters and story arcs, the story was changed and yet immeasurably strengthened, and it left me quite startled and amazed at the metamorphosis it went through. I don’t know if every author has this kind of experience, but I certainly did! 

Now that Book Three is finally ready for the editor, I’m sure I’ll be facing entirely new challenges and experiences with the editing process. It’s hard to tell as of yet when it will be out—the birth process of a new book is quite intensive and takes time—but I am sure when it does, it will be stronger for what is has been through. And so will I!   

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Lessons from the Writing Process: Book 3

The time is rapidly approaching to turn over book 3 of the Azellian Affairs to my editor. This is quite a landmark for me, considering this book has taken me quite a bit longer than I expected. Some of this was due to the vagaries of life—when one is a mostly self published author working with a small vanity press, things in life sometimes happen that cause delays in publication—but a large portion of it was because it took me a while to write the book. 

I actually wrote the first draft of book 3 in November of 2017. The first draft didn’t take very long—I wrote the 100,000 draft over a six or seven day period of time. However, that first draft was really quite rough. As I’ve shared before, one of the difficulties with having an entire series in my head is making sure I’m not stuffing too MUCH information into each story and thereby losing the audience. This is particularly tricky in the case of a science fiction/world building story. I’ve lived with these characters since I was in my teens, so I know them and their world quite well. The reader doesn’t live in my head to know it without my conveying it to them. When I handed book 3 to my editor in the summer of 2018 to do a developmental edit/first overview, her questions gently showed me that I had jammed WAY too much into the story. 

So I tore it apart, essentially re-writing it, separating out perspectives and narrowing the focus considerably. A few things happened as a result: 1) the story went into directions I really didn’t expect, taking on a richness and depth of human experience that surprised me, although on the highest levels it didn’t change much in terms of theme 2) I realized that the higher level story I’m telling has two very distinct parts. There’s the human/drama/romance element, as told by the main character, Tamara, and there’s a very science fiction element that I’ve been hinting at for the past two books. There is a very complex, involved culture that I’m starting to reveal, with some fascinating beings who are catching my fellow sci-fi fans’ attention. 

There is, as always, the spiritual/consciousness element that comes through on both sides—but this meta-theme doesn’t affect either the sci-fi or the romance threads, at least not enough to cause me to completely change direction. The romance and sci-fi threads, however, are quite distinct and very different in terms of marketing, creating a bit of a dilemma. 

Where  this is all taking me? Do I change the main character? Do I write a related offshoot story that is more sci-fi and less romance/drama? Does it mean the current story will evolve and change into something else? Each of these paths has a particular consequence—change is inevitable, but not always welcomed (one of themes of book 3, actually). I don’t know yet. This is being revealed to me in every moment as it is being revealed to those who read what I write. I’ve learned over the past four years and the publication of two books—I can’t rush whatever is being written through me. I can only listen, write and produce and hope that what I am putting out can touch those that read it in the highest and best possible way. 

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Holidays on the Planet of Azelle

I received a question recently about holidays on Azelle, the planet I am slowly revealing to Earth. Honestly, I didn’t know the answer, so I decided to ask one of my main connections to the world of Azelle. This interaction is a result of that query. 

Me: Hey, Merran, funny question to ask you. So, the 4th of July holiday is here on Earth. I’ve hung out with you for a very long time and I don’t think I’ve ever asked this question. Does Azelle have holidays? 

Merran: The answer to the question you’re asking is a little more complex than it appears. Are you asking if we celebrate days or people that our culture considers important? 

Me: I guess, yes. What else would you celebrate? 

Merran (counting off on his fingers): Earth holidays are based on: 1) commemorating important public figures, 2) a significant date to the particular culture, such as your Independence Day, 3) religious celebrations. We on Azelle do remember our Arrival date, the date we first arrived on Azelle. We also celebrate the change of seasons, important festivals throughout the year that we come together to remember where we came from and where we are going. Commemorating important people? We don’t have holidays such as those, no. We also don’t have a religion per se, as you know, so we don’t celebrate the birth—or death—of an important religious figure. Our “gods” are more like guides and they walk among us. Sort of. They don’t have bodies, so they don’t walk, really, but the principle is the same. They are very much a part of our reality, and not something that we see as remote and distant from us. They’re also functionally immortal, so dates such as birth or death becomes meaningless (spreads his hands). You know how complicated it can be. 

Me: I know, I’m having fun translating it for readers on Earth. It’s not always easy. 

Merran (with a big smile): And we don’t want to give away any spoilers, do we? They’ll just have to read the books.  

Me: Yes, they will! Thanks for the time, Mer. This gives me a place to start.

Merran: It’s my pleasure. I’m happy to answer any questions you or your readers have.  

The difficulty in the question is, of course, that holidays as we consider them are very much a culturally defined concept. The question is more difficult than it appears. Yet, as Merran indicated, Azelle does celebrate significant events and seasons, and they stop to give thanks for who they are, where they are, where they came from and where they are going. Although they might appear very alien in some ways, they do share a desire to know their place in the universe and to celebrate their existence, as do we. They are as human as we—even as they experience life in a very different way. Azelle is a complex world with a very rich, layered culture. We will definitely be exploring more of it as the series develops. In the interim, happy 4th of July—let’s all take the time to remember who we are, where we come from and where we are going. This is our Independence Day. I’m very grateful for living here, in this time, and let’s celebrate that we are alive!  

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Holiday Musings

The 4th of July is almost upon us, and I found myself thinking about the holiday and just what this particular holiday is all about.

This one is a commemoration of a very important event to us, culturally—the day we have earmarked as our "Independence Day”, a date in history that marked our official separation from England, and the formation of a new country. It’s a marker of our identity as a country, as well as an excuse to get a day or two off from work.

Thinking about this holiday leads to a question about Azelle, the planet I am exploring through my series The Azellian Affairs. It stirred my curiosity, so I tapped in and asked. Does Azelle have holidays? 

The answer I got was: it’s complicated. The economic system is different than ours, and the cultural attitudes are as well, so what they have doesn’t really resemble what we know as holidays from work, but Azellians do celebrate important moments in Azellian history. 

One of these is the Arrival: Azelle’s native population is non-corporeal. These beings came to Earth a long time ago and collected a group of humans who wanted to leave Earth. These humans were brought to Azelle and settled there under the guidance of Azelle’s native species. This date is celebrated by those Azellians who have a corporeal existence at the beginning of Azelle’s “new year”, which happens roughly in the planet’s early summer months. 

Each corporeal subculture that lives on Azelle has its own set of solstice, natural event and historical celebrations. Azelle has seasons, although they are not as developed as many places on Earth. The poles are a bit greener, more temperate and carefully irrigated and cultivated. They celebrate the planting season, the harvest and the demarcation between spring, summer, fall and winter. 

The only world-wide Azellian holiday for both corporeal and non-corporeal sentient beings is Festival: Azelle’s “winter” is in the form of planet-wide sandstorms, forcing the population to live mostly underground, and cutting it off from communication with the rest of the universe for approximately two-three Azellian months. When the storms die down, the entire population of Azelle comes out to celebrate the arrival of spring and warmer weather. It is a time of awareness and expansion, a time to explore the potentials that might be without judgment or restriction. It is a time of joy and celebration, of oneness, and a foreshadowing of what is to come. 

So as we spend time with our families this fourth of July, watching the fireworks that commemorate the efforts our ancestors went to to bring about what we know now, we can spend time to be grateful for ourselves, our world and our place in the universe… 

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Triangle is here! From Vision to Reality: Achieving a Dream

When I first moved to Colorado in the 90’s, a fresh faced young woman without a clue, I walked into a Denver landmark—the Tattered Cover in LoDo (lower Downtown for anyone not familiar with Denver, an area of Denver that has seen quite a bit of change over the past fifty years, but has recently become quite trendy). As I walked into the store, I had a flash of an impression that I had no way of understanding or interpreting: my book, in the store, on the shelves. 

At that point, the vision made no sense. I had a book—at that point I had several books I’d written, and I’d known since I was nine that I wanted to be an author—but there were no paths, no way that I could see to something like that actually coming true. I wasn’t published, I had no contacts in the publishing industry, I had no self-confidence to get published. I was shy, retiring, unwilling to step into public. Becoming a published author seemed like an impossible dream, and who was I thinking I was anyway? Like all of us do, I talked myself out of what I could not explain. I dismissed the vision. It was vague and unclear, just an impression more than a vision anyway. It settled down into the depths of my being, and I moved on with my life. 

Meanwhile, the self-publishing industry exploded onto the scene. The internet expanded, became a juggernaut of virtual human interaction, opening the door to new possibilities. I moved into actively seeking self-development, learning about business, making connections, stepping into a self-journey that would take me into areas I had no framework to even begin to understand twenty years before. 

Finally, about five years ago, I stepped into the acceptance of being a writer, and started to explore what that meant in the real world. I had nine books written, and more ideas crowding in my head, all begging to get out. It was time to share the stories with the world.

A year later, I had an amazing editor, who could not only polish my story (and did), but who could also help me with publication, so I joined her shelf of authors. And not long after that, I walked into a Tattered Cover, and this time, the vision exploded in front of my eyes. It was SO vivid, so incredibly powerful. It was a vision of my book in vivid technicolor—my actual book this time, not a vague impression—sitting on the shelves, at eye level, face out, declaring itself to the world. It was so vivid it was hard to prevent myself from searching for it on the shelves.

Fast forward to today and—that vision just became REAL, actually manifest in the physical world. 

In two weeks’ time, on October 6th, at 7:00 pm, I will be doing a book signing of the second book of my series: Triangle: Book Two of the Azellian Affairs. It is at the Tattered Cover in LoDo. My books are now officially at the Tattered Cover, Colorado’s largest and most influential local bookstore. Although I had seen it—seen it, felt it, knew it down to the bottom of my toes that it would happen—I am honored and thrilled and utterly flabbergasted by the reality of it. MY BOOKS ARE AT THE TATTERED COVER. I am now a professional author. A childhood dream that I had disbelieved as I got older is now here. IT IS REAL.  

Where will I go from here? I don’t know—my intuition has been feeding me more tidbits that still seem far fetched, from audiobooks with famous narrators, to public appearances, to visions of a new cover with “now a major motion picture” and even the words “Over 250 Million Copies Sold” emblazoned across the surface of them. Is any of it possible? Or is it just a dream? I don’t know. There are many times I disbelieve all of it, and others that I don’t question what seems to be unfolding. Maybe belief or disbelief doesn’t matter. Maybe it’s just what it is and all I can do is relax into whatever is happening. Borrowing a word from the series that has started it all: “alawahea: it is what it is and I embrace what is”. I can only breathe, follow my heart and see what unfolds. After all, I saw my books at the Tattered Cover and now it’s happened. 

Come join me on October 6th in celebrating a dream come true! 

Book Two Release Date: Nothing Worth Having is Easy

It’s been a while since my last update. A lot has been happening personally and professionally, which has made blog updates challenging—but in this case, no news is good news!! I am thrilled to say that Triangle: Book Two of the Azellian Affairs now has a release date! We will be learning more about the continuing adventures of Tamara, Merran, Alarin and the rest of the Azellians and their supporters in the late summer of 2018 (very likely September). A sneak preview of the new cover is attached to this blog post, and I will be updating my website to reflect the new book (plus release date) in the next few weeks, as we start to finalize everything.   

Triangle has already begun attracting attention: in the form of trade reviews (a starred one from BlueInk Review—thank you, BlueInk, you have been so wonderfully supportive and we are very grateful!!), and even notice by a very prominent local Denver bookstore, which is creating new opportunities and new levels of experience … I’ll be talking more about that as we go and more details become available. 

There is an old saying that nothing worth having is easy. That is and isn’t true, when passion is involved. Book 3 is already with the editor and will hopefully be out in 2019, but I do have to admit that while I love what the process of editing is doing to the story and the characters, a part of me winces at the sheer level of creative energy and work goes into editing (to say nothing about writing) a book. Yet it’s also easy—far easier than anything else I’ve ever done. Writing comes easily to me, particularly the creative and meditative aspects of writing that just feed my soul. It’s not difficult to spend hours with characters I love and a planet that fascinates me. Yet it’s not easy to tear into something I’ve written, tweak and adjust, re-write and re-work. The story lives in my head. Getting it onto paper can be difficult at times. Have you ever tried to tell a story while trying not to rush the punchline, but are so very excited that you just want the story out there? That's what it feels like. Balancing on that fine edge of too little and too much really does take someone who doesn’t live in the story to help get it written. It takes both of us time and energy to adjust scenes, add backstory, and make a story clear to the reader. It is hard—and yet I love it, which makes it easy. Living in a space where both are true is challenging and rewarding at the same time. The perspective can get dizzying, but once you add in gratitude for my team and the wonderful readers who are enjoying the experience with me, it all becomes completely worth it!  

What if I’m Not Good Enough: Challenges of Writing

As I take a break from the production piece of Triangle: Book Two of the Azellian Affairs, I find myself reflecting a bit on writing. One aspiring writer I met recently worried that she couldn’t write stories as good as the ones she was reading. I, too, still face this concern. With every new book it pokes at me—I’ve just gotten better at facing it, because fear doesn’t change my behavior any more. 

I’ve read everything from well written stories to horrible ones (and I’ve penned my share of both). Now, thanks to a wonderful book club I visited this week, I’ve experienced my book from a reader’s perspective. The one thing that impacted me the most is that I didn’t write the book the readers are enjoying—at least not entirely. I did write a different book, that I handed to my editor, who then contributed her perspective, asked questions and teased out what I was really saying. Between the two of us, we created Alawahea: Book One of the Azellian Affairs that readers are experiencing.

We, as writers, are far too close to our story. We add elements that make sense to us who have the backstory in our heads, but is not clear to a reader who doesn’t live in our minds. A good editor catches that, helps smooth it out. Or, maybe our story has contradictory elements. The editor catches that, too. When you read, do you love the way a scene is worded? Chances are, the editor had a say in that. The author is involved, yes, but the editor often catches when a word is being used too often, or if a different phrase will suit better. Is the perspective consistent? Does the character behave in a manner that makes sense to their development? All of that is in the provenance of the editor and yes, my editor helped me with every one of these issues for Alawahea and especially for Triangle. 

For everyone who feels a story inside: write it down. Whatever lives in your heart, put it on paper (or the computer, or whatever medium you use). So what if it’s a mess and doesn’t make sense? My stories don’t always make sense at first, either, until they go through intensive editing. Start with an outline, paragraphs, scene sketches, or a full story. Then you can decide whether or not to step into the editing process, or if simply writing it down was enough. 

Whether or not your story ever reaches an audience or undergoes the rigors of editing, facing fear and treating yourself with compassion in the midst of it will set you free in ways you can’t imagine now. All of the people we see flying free started here—facing fear. They just learned how to face it and move on anyway, and that’s something ALL of us can learn to do. 

What happens when we get to the end of our well maintained trails? We’ll see: and that's the most exciting part of all!