Sara L. Daigle's Blog, page 2

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Welcome to the explorations of Sara L Daigle!

After what has to be the oddest two years in the history of the world (well, my world, anyway, and, I daresay, most of the rest of the world’s, too), my next book is FINALLY done! Revelations: Book Three of the Azellian Affairs is at long, long last finished editing and is now moving into production. Of course, there remain quite a few moving parts, so I still don’t have a solid release date yet, BUT it will be this year.

As I’ve shared in previous posts, the journey to publication with this book has been long, bumpy and reached deep into places in me that I have never experienced before. It is a labor indeed—a labor of love, a labor of growth, and one of the most intense stories I have ever written so far. This story and the people in it took me to very deep places in myself and I am very excited to share it with the world.

And I know, loyal readers, that it has been torture to keep you waiting.

So in the interim, I have exciting news: I am launching myself and the Azellian Affairs on a new platform, in which you can learn more about the story behind the story, where I will be posting appendices, backstory and more of my creative endeavors to help you through the in-between-book-times. Here is your opportunity to Travel with Sara L Daigle and the Azellian Affairs!

Click here to learn more and become a Patron:

Become a Patron!

From the “Ick” to the “Yay” and Everything in Between

One of the challenges of being a writer—any artist, really—is the balance between the creative urges that dictate our everyday life. While I would love to be able to dedicate ALL of my time to writing, it simply isn’t feasible for a number of reasons, both creative and practical.

These past few months have been a time period like that for me. After a rough month during which things have been skewed severely out of balance in terms of my internal life/external life balance, I have brought myself to a complete halt, in order to reevaluate the pendulum.

Yes, I am on a quest to eliminate the concept of “balance”—everything that happens nothing more than life in all of its glorious change, sometimes here, sometimes there—but I am also aware that there are times that I lose track of me in the midst of all the chaos. Family, earning a living, that part of me that reminds me of a whiny child who isn’t getting enough attention, everything is sometimes so danged noisy! 

This period of apparent chaos, buried in the everyday ins and outs that characterize most of our lives, had a purpose. I have changed so much, even with, or maybe because of, the “chaos”. My body and I survived and even thrived, and our relationship is forever changed for the better. 

I was recently reminded to go back to the basics: focus on the breath, even in the middle of a REALLY busy day. Approaching spring is reflected in Colorado in wildly fluctuating temperatures, so we have had some gloriously beautiful temperatures, punctuated by snow and cold: so on those days that are warm and beautiful, I’ve taken a few minutes sitting in the sun, listening to the raucous noise of the birds celebrating the approaching spring, watching my dogs cavort in the yard, as affected by the beautiful weather, as I.

I’ve taken the time to do some yoga stretching designed to help energy flow through me. I’ve gone to my energy healer/massage therapist and remembered how it felt to be utterly relaxed, supported and loved by myself (thanks, Nate, you rock!) I’m picking food that is nourishing and supportive of the body and getting excited about eating—and cooking—again. 

And with these basics, comes the story, full, rich and spilling out of the edges of me. I have come back to the joy of writing and realized this time away has been deeply healing.

I needed to remember the joy of living to be able to write again—and to remember the joy of living, I had to live it, from the “ick” to the “yay” and everything in between. 

Indeed, this has been a very deeply transformational period. I find my relationship with my writing as a whole, has evolved. I had such expectations of the story: about how it would present, how I would market it and how it would sell, none of which has come true in the years I’ve had books out. I went to considerable lengths to learn about “how to” a number of basic writing business maintenance processes from marketing to social media and everything in between.

None of this has turned out the way I had dreamed or imagined it would. Instead, in the process of some really intense soul searching, I have come to realize one thing: Azelle is not about any of these everyday things. It is, simply, about itself. And that has liberated me to write what is really flowing through me rather than what I thought I should be writing about. 

Where will this take Book #3? I’m having a grand old time writing again and will continue to invite you along for the journey.

We’re in this Together: Interview with Authority Magazine!

I recently was granted an interview with Authority Magazine. Thank you, Authority Magazine! I’m honored and pleased to be able to speak about my experiences on grit -which I call persistence - and some people might term sheer stubbornness—and to share some of my story about discovering how very important a team is to everyone’s success, but in particular mine.

The funny thing is, I didn’t think I fit into Authority Magazine’s vibe. When I first reviewed the opportunity, presented by my amazing friend and supporter, Alissa Tyler, I couldn’t even imagine that anyone would want to hear from little ol’ me, much less a prestigious magazine that interviews high powered leaders of all types. It wasn’t “grit” that kept me moving forward, I told myself, it was … well, I didn’t know what it was that has kept me writing in the face of everything that life throws our way, but it wasn’t “grit”. Maybe it was a contrary nature that asserts itself when I least expect it, but it was certainly nothing as high-minded as grit. Grit was for Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, for Stephen King or JK Rowling, not for me? 

The joke was on me, of course. It took me a while to settle into the idea,. But, as I thought about it, I realized that I did have something to say about the journey I’m on.  If I could share those realizations, speak about the discoveries that have help me grow and have led directly to my achieving a childhood dream of publishing my stories, then maybe I did have something to say.  

Like everything else in my life lately, being interviewed led to some self discovery. Yes, grit has led me forward—sometimes kicking and screaming—but the biggest and most amazing discovery I have learned so far, is the value of a team. I grew up with the idea that we can only lean on ourselves, that we can only depend on a very few number of people (and only if they are related to us). The experience of publishing has showed me that to be simply untrue. We’re all in this together, and even though it might be my name on a book, the book would not be where it is if it weren’t for the amazing people who have supported and cared about me and the story throughout. Yes, the story is mine to tell, but there are more people than I who contribute to it. The interview with Authority Magazine has given me an opportunity to explore that and I will be forever grateful to have had the experience. 

Thank you, from the deepest levels of my heart, Authority Magazine! 

Here’s a link to the interview!: <<https://medium.com/authority-magazine/q-a-with-sara-l-daigle-c0f377d27aee>>  

Writing Book 3 of The Azellian Affairs

One of the joys of writing is the exploration. My writing is organic, unfolding in a vivid tapestry of ideas, characters and discovery. I uncover my world as my readers do, finding the story within, taking it step-by-step toward a finished product - sometimes misstepping (okay, often misstepping) - so that I have to start all over again. 

And that leads us to the challenges of writing the way I do. My stories are organic, so they morph and change as I do, and I never quite know what is going to happen when I sit down to write. My editor helps by sensing into the story with me, pointing at places the story isn’t quite solid, or might be heading off into directions that just don’t work right. She has a sixth sense about it, and though sometimes, it’s difficult to accept that she might have called out something I didn’t even sense (something I may not have wanted to sense), I usually come around and the story is stronger for the re-write. 

Still, when I am facing the third re-write of a story in which I had thought was done, I take a deep breath and close my eyes —several breaths, actually— to regain my center. As I do, I realize that she is correct, yet again. The story wants to say something that I am struggling with. Something that I haven’t wanted to share or talk about, yet is critically important for Tamara’s story arc as a hero, and for the arc of the higher series as a whole. 

When will book 3 be ready? I don’t know, honestly. This part of the story is not mechanical and will not be rushed. But I do know that the story that bubbles inside, the story that is being born now, is a powerful, deeply personal story that will be something I’ve never written before. Will it be worth the wait? Yes! But, in the end, I can only follow what is unfolding in my heart and onto the page. I listen for the characters’ voices and hope I can do justice to what they whisper about their lives. And in the process, I learn about compassion and patience with myself, with the story and with others. In that way, my stories become truly a part of me, and what I am learning to live myself.  

Kyarinal (Festival)

Writing is such an interesting process. The characters I am writing have their own personalities and their own prejudices, sometimes so much so that I get lost in their perceptions of experiences that may or may not be the way they perceive them to be. 

One of these experiences is Festival, an Azellian celebration of life and the infinite possibilities that go with it. Annual is something of a misnomer: Festival occurs once every Azellian year. The Azellian year is somewhat shorter than the human year; Azelle orbits its sun more quickly than Earth does. So it tends to happen more often than once a year for those Azellians on Earth. From Tamara’s perspective, Festival is a time of discomfort, behaviors that she fears (particularly the feeling of being out of control), and a sense of shame about herself. 

In reality, Festival is nothing like Tamara’s fear and shame paint it. Since most participants don’t remember what happened, including Merran, I went instead to another source. Galadrian Raderth is a sage, a seer and someone who bears a perspective and awareness far beyond our own. I’ve only begun to learn the depths of this character, who spends quite a bit of time whispering in my ear about Azelle and Azellian life. I have my suspicions about just who Galadrian actually is, and I suspect he’ll be surprising me for some time to come—but for now, I am content to ask him questions and see which ones he’ll actually answer. 

Sara: Thanks for sitting down with me, Galadrian. 

Galadrian: It’s my pleasure. 

Sara (rubbing my hands together): Okay, let me get right to it. Festival—what is it? 

Galadrian: Possibility. 

Sara: And that means what?

Galadrian (with an enigmatic smile): Whatever it means. It differs depending on the life path of the individual. 

Sara: Can humans experience it? 

Galadrian: Of course. Life is completely connected. Any being that steps into quantum awareness enters the space of kyarinal. 

Sara: Quantum awareness? 

Galadrian: You have heard of quantum physics? 

Sara: Yes, of course.

Galadrian: Do you think physical reality is bound by a different set of rules than quantum physics? 

Sara: No. Yes. No? Uh, maybe? I hadn’t really thought about it. Except recently, when I was reading Amit Goswami’s books about spirituality and quantum physics. It was a bit above my head, honestly—but something about what he said made sense to me, on some deep level. That the oddness of quantum physics—that the quantum level of matter is both a wave and a particle and doesn’t have a defined shape or form until observed—could perhaps be true for our physical reality, too.   

Galadrian: Opening the door to that possibility is the first step. Honing and practicing stepping into your quantum awareness while consciously aware is next. From there, when you move into kyarinal, you will recall the experience while you are linked into your quantum awareness. Most experiences can be seen from multiple perspectives and are accessible from multiple states of awareness. Kyarinal is not. Only those who are able to access the quantum awareness can recall the memories of it because it is not taking place in the dimensions that most people can perceive at all.       

Sara: So you’re saying that if a human wandered into Festival, they would see nothing?

Galadrian: They would see only what they are ready to see. 

Sara: What about those people who are experiencing kyarinal? Are they all tapped into their quantum awareness? 

Galadrian: That is why only Azellians and certain humans who have been able to access the quantum awareness can experience Festival. Azellians are linked to us, the ulaarya who live in the quantum all the time. Humans have their own guides, and those who listen to their guides, can access kyarinal. 

Me: Damn. How am I going to write about this? 

Galadrian (grins at me): One word at a time. Remember the story, not the explanation, beloved. 

Sara (sighing and closing my eyes): I would ask you why I’m the special human who can hear a ulaarya, but I’m not sure I’m ready to admit it out loud. In a blog post. 

Galadrian (reaching out to touch my head): When you’re ready to admit what you know, it will change everything. 

Sara (opening my eyes): I’m scared.

Galadrian: Are you? Or are you simply remembering the lifetimes in which you have refused to admit to what you truly are? The cellular debris that litters your attempts to push further than the world was ready for?  

Sara: Yes. This is why I’ve never interviewed you in a blog post like I have Merran. I end up here, before I’m ready.  

Galadrian: You are more ready than you know, beloved. 

Sara: Ready to admit that I’m as ulaarya as you are?  

Galadrian: Exactly. 

Sara: I’m not posting this. Not yet, anyway.

Galadrian: The choice is yours. But embracing your angelic nature is part of what you are learning to do, my beloved Sara. And part of that is this. Admitting that Azelle is real. As real as Earth, and that you belong among us. 

Sara: You’re supposed to be my angel of joy. 

Galadrian: Embracing your true nature leads to joy, akila. 

Sara (with a sheepish smile): I know. I just want to be childish for a while. Maybe even a little whiny.  

Galadrian (laughs): That tendency will go away once you learn to feel safe enough to reveal your true nature to the world.  

Sara: Meanwhile I have four blog posts, of eight that Alissa wants me to write. 

Galadrian (leans over and kisses me): This one will be published eventually. When you’re ready. As for kyarinal, it will be shown in the stories. Don’t try to explain it. Show it. It will do what it needs to do. And so will you. 

It surprises me that he has answered as fully as he has—he usually doesn’t answer me. But as I stare at the dialogue that has rolled off my fingers, not entirely on purpose, I realize that Galadrian is no longer avoiding my questions. My relationship with him is changing—and with it, my understanding of the stories I am writing. I don’t know where these stories are taking me, but I am willing to have faith and step into my quantum awareness. Maybe then I’ll actually remember what I have forgotten about Azelle—and be able to write about it without all the drama.     

Characters at large—New Directions for Azelle

My writing has always been very organic, morphing and changing as I evolve and grow. The stories I wrote ten years ago don’t even begin to resemble the stories that are currently being published, for example. I wrote nine stories at one point, all of which are utterly irrelevant now, not even story seeds, except in very broad, general ways, as the story has moved into totally new realms of exploration.  

I’ve had quite a few conversations lately, though, about where these stories are going. Azelle has always been a complex, multilayered world with complicated history and mythology and I myself am learning about it as I go. That makes it difficult to map out a path. Even though I do have a strong idea of what I am doing on a larger level, the individual story level is infinite and varied. But as I have been working on Book 3 of The Azellian Affairs, I realize that the character I have chosen to focus on, Tamara, has a limited perspective and a specific arc. Although she will continue to be a part of the larger stories going forward, I am excited to explore Azelle more directly, not filtered through her perspective. 

Perhaps this will involve a spin-off series? Or a different series, with a different feel? Perhaps another character who sees things differently? Questions have been presenting themselves to me: Who is Greg? What is his history? What about Justern? How have his experiences affected him? And then there’s Merran. He’s got more story on the way, too, as he explores the limits of perspective and awareness. Tamara’s sister Andreya is presenting herself, too, and I’m just now figuring out who she is. 

I’m not sure yet what is coming, but we are going to have some fun finding out! 

Do Supernatural Abilities Exist?

Do supernatural abilities exist? It’s an interesting question—and one that might have a surprising answer. In my series, The Azellian Affairs, I have been writing about an alien race who has psychic abilities. That has inevitably led to the question of whether or not I believe in these kinds of abilities. 

The answer to that is yes—except that the real world abilities don’t look like the fictionalized version that I and other science fiction authors write about. Psychic or supernatural abilities aren’t actually supernatural. They are very natural and something ALL humans have access to, although most people aren’t aware of them. Have you ever walked into a room full of strangers and felt uncomfortable? That’s empathy. We’re taught that everything we sense is something WE are feeling or thinking, but actually, most of the time, we are sensing what other people are thinking or feeling. A mother will know when a crying baby is hungry, hurt or scared, even if it may not immediately be apparent which of the three the baby is feeling. We all pick up on subtle physical cues as to what someone else is feeling, although we may or may not recognize what those cues are. We have all had the experience of hearing thoughts in our head that we think are our own, but are they really? There are times I’ve had thoughts about my own body that don’t match what I really think about myself and make me wonder if I’ve just had a psychotic break. Nope, just a moment of psychic awareness. 

Why is laughter or tears contagious? Why do large groups of humans tend go into a mob mentality? Why do children react so strongly to the unspoken vibes in a family or a situation? Humanity is connected and sensitive and we all react to what others are thinking all the time. We telescope our feelings and they are picked up by the people around us, just as we receive what they are projecting as well. We are especially sensitive as children, until we are trained to filter out our awareness. After that, it requires effort to untangle our training and learn to be aware of those things we instinctively knew as a child. 

This has a very simple explanation: there is a part of us, deep inside, that senses and is aware of things that our brains aren’t paying attention to. Learning to tap into that inner perception starts manifesting as empathy, telepathy, clairvoyance, remote viewing and other “supernatural” skills. In reality, we are just very, very sensitive, and learning to listen to those things we are perceiving but unaware of will increase our abilities to do and sense those things that might appear amazing or incredible. The key is to relax, remain open, to not filter our perceptions through our preconceived notions and to just be aware. Once we do that—well, who knows what we will begin to be aware of? If “super” natural abilities are actually quite normal, maybe those “impossible” things like aliens visiting us on Earth will also turn out to have a simple, prosaic truth too…

Facing the Real—Update on Book 3

Book 3 of The Azellian Affairs continues to challenge me. I have received the first edit back from the editor, and with her usual sensitivity and grace, she has shown me the places I have refused to face the depths of my characters and the story I am telling. One of those biggest questions: Who is Alarin Raderth? One of the characters in the Tamara character arc I am currently exploring with The Azellian Affairs, Alarin is a mysterious, blank character that I haven’t tried to connect with in any deep or meaningful way—not like I have with Merran, or even Tamara herself. 

Alarin has been a very important, but also shadowy, figure. I don’t fully understand him. Many authors—including myself—will say that characters come from inside ourselves, taken from aspects of ourselves. If so, Alarin is that little understood, neglected middle child that I’ve forgotten is even there. He lives in those parts of me that I have relegated to the “I’ll get to it later” pile—usually because the emotions that make up that place inside of me are too difficult or painful to spend much time in.  

Book 3 has gone through several iterations, as I have sought to find the voice of the story. I know what the meta theme is, but the story itself and the characters who would be involved have changed. It’s been almost like hugging an amoeba, the story gelatinous and changing shape even as I attempt to put it on paper. This book, like me, is transforming and changing, even as I write it. It’s been frustrating to that part of me that sees writing as a process, but it has also taught me so many incredible lessons about me and my relationship with writing. Although writing may be a stable, set process for many authors, it is not for me and has never been. Writing is organic, healing and my connection to that part of me that is divine. Like my relationship with myself, it is transforming and growing and exquisitely creative. It is teaching me to surrender to the quantum creative in ways I never imagined when I was a teenager living more in the universe of Azelle than in this one. The story is tapping into me in ways that make me uncomfortable and uneasy, but represent a path of incredible growth and expansion, too.  As I have begun to look at the whole picture, I have realized that this story is coming out of a very deep, very powerful experience that changed my life, and the more I embrace that truth, the easier it will be.  

What will Book 3 look like when it is finished? I don’t know yet. But I do know it will be worth every moment of intensity that is going into its birth.

Being Alive-Polarity of the Positive and Negative

In the four years that my team and I have been posting blog posts, I’ve noticed a strange trend—posts about sad or difficult things tend to get WAY more attention than posts about successes and joys. In a similar vein, posts about something that scares or disturbs people gets more interaction than posts that are unremittingly positive. 

My preference is to focus on the positive, but I also don’t want to live in a place where I deny that anything bad happens. It does, every day. People struggle with all kinds of dramas and traumas. And I have to admit the scary or bad catches our attention like nothing else. Someone is thrilled and happy—that is genuinely wonderful, but we know they’re okay and doing well. When someone is struggling or scared, our immediate desire is to help in some way. This desire is not bad—it’s actually good, that humanity still has a desire to reach out and help—but it does mean that our media (whether social or the traditional press) has a strong tendency toward presenting the big, bad or scary elements, with the positive triumphs de-emphasized. We want attention, after all, and the big-bad-and-scary is so much more attention grabbing. It gives us a strong, visceral reaction that lasts for a very long time. The positive doesn’t linger as long. Is the dramatic/traumatic truly more prevalent? No, it’s just more attention grabbing. 

We can try to explain the whys and wherefores of this tendency, but in the end, it’s a reality that we all have to live with—the big-bad-and-scary is very much a part of the human experience. Does it mean we have to live in it ALL the time? No. But it can be one of the most valuable experiences we have and an incredibly powerful way to connect with someone quite strongly. Everyone of us has a story of tough times and difficulties. I’ve certainly had my share. From the loss of my mother and my husband when I was twenty six, to the internal changes and dramas I’ve gone through since then, I find that all of the tough times in my life have given me an incredible internal strength that has allowed a childhood dream to come true—I am now a published writer who has two books under her belt and another one on the way. Would this have occurred even if I hadn’t had drama and tragedy in my life? Maybe. Maybe not. It certainly has given my stories depths that they simply did not have when I was a teenager who had not yet experienced the full range of what was possible. 

The old hoary adage “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” really is true. It’s a part of human experience, human growth and development. We go through the tough times, and if we can remember to see how every one of these things that happen to us connect us with other people who have gone through something similar, if we let these dramas teach us how to see our own internal strength, if we see how everything that happens to us is here to help us in some way—well, after that, big-bad-and-scary becomes nothing more than a place to remember our own tough moments and to extend some compassion to our fellow beings. We are here, after all, to experience everything life can offer us—and being truly alive means being alive to everything from big-bad-and-scary to openhearted joy. Compassion is built by what we’ve lived through, if we give it a chance—I don’t want to live in tragedy and drama all the time, but I am very grateful for the depths of compassion I’ve learned from those things I have experienced, even as I celebrate the joys and triumphs that populate my life. We ARE everything and that is the miracle of being alive. 

Perspective - Breathing Into Chaos

This morning I decided to go for a—well, not a hike. More of a ramble through the prairie grasses, really, but it was in a small wildlife refuge not far away. My goal for this early morning ramble was twofold: to get ideas for writing and to slow and soften my energy to the point that nature forgot that I am “human”. 

I accomplished both goals. My morning meditative walk generated several blog posts, a few new ideas for the formulation phase of book four, and I was able to capture a couple really cool pictures of wildlife, who decided that I wasn’t something to warn against or run away from. Birds landed on grasses within a foot of me and a rabbit who ran away as I walked toward her (him?), came out to say hi when I crouched down to take a picture. She (he?) was comfortable coming almost within touching distance. 

This behavior made me realize something, though—humans spend most of their time walking through life from a certain perspective. Change that perspective and we receive—and project—a totally different image. When I walked by, I was “human”—with all of the assumptions that come with the word. When I crouched down and was still, the animals in the refuge no longer perceived me the same way, feeling comfortable coming closer to me, no longer perceiving me as a “threat” to be avoided. 

Now we are talking about animals in a wildlife refuge, where animals are not heavily predated, there are lots of humans ambling and dogs are not allowed, so they are probably not nearly as “wild” as those who live away from the city environment, but even given that, it was a powerful experience this morning to slow down, observe, and listen. The energy of the refuge was not peaceful—the birds were in high dudgeon over a squirrel that was menacing their nests and they were making their displeasure quite obvious. Another unseen animal rustled the bushes and grasses, foraging for food, the little pond was ruffled by fishes feeding at the surface with little splashes, the frogs were joining in the cacophony by making some of the strangest noises I’ve ever heard—the frog I heard sounded like a creaky door—but I breathed through the chaos and let myself sink into the noise, feeling the stillness underneath the craze.  

The result was nature welcoming me. I spent a good portion of my leisurely amble on my haunches this morning, crouching down to see the world from a different angle, to remind myself that sometimes, it is just a change in perspective that’s required. To do that, all that is necessary is to breathe through the chaos. As I breathed, what I projected into the world changed. Nature not only reacted differently to me, I opened up a different perspective and new creative angles for my other endeavors. I walked out of that wildlife refuge a little bit different than I walked in—hmmm. I wonder where breathing through chaos will take me next?