Beverley Price's Blog, page 5

Everlasting gender

You can not have helped but the noticed the media surrounding one person decision to change gender. That person is, of course Bruce Jenner, now Caitlyn. The media seems to swing between brave and heroic to a “science experiment” and a parody of women, on this comment I would be more inclined to say that of drag queens. Transgenderism is a real and those who have to deal with this, their lives are not an easy one. Any public exposure to this can only be good, right? Well yes, but there is something about this particular case that makes me uncomfortable. Caitlyn is part of one of the most attention whoring families in the world of reality tv, and this transformation is part of a new reality TV show.  But despite this does one person deserve the negativity that they have received? Not really.

So, why I am talking about this? I am just a CIS after all. I have had some close experience to this. My ex was transgender and that was a learning experience for me. This was a relationship that due to the persons inability to deal with that, was doomed. This person when they eventually become the woman that they wanted to be lost everything, their family, their home but hopefully it meant that they found the life that they were suppose to have from birth. My need to understand this more, became my dissertation for my university degree for sociology and psychology.

How do you “deal” with transgenderism? There are two ways, one is to no longer live in society that lives by the duality of gender. One that encompass the spectrum of gender that people actually ascribe themselves to. Male, female, males who want to be female, females who want to be male, (either permanently or just once in a while), hermaphrodites and eunuchs. While this is happening it is a slow process. The other way to deal with transgenderism is with love. These people may be different to us, they are still human. They still deserve respect, and rights, especially about what they do to their own body. Love her or hate her, Caitlyn has got us all talking and that is not a bad thing.

Welcome to the darkness

As someone that loves the dark side of paganism, I am often accused of just being a pagan dressed up as a Goth. That is to a certain extent true but this is much more a challenging path. Like many aspects of paganism this is more than one tradition, but as a Wiccan myself, that is what appeals to me the most. What I tend to believe is that following the light only is not a balanced path. To suppress something means that it will only appear elsewhere. So why not allow it to be part of your faith? There are many myths and legends that have the dark chaos creating light. Before light, there was darkness. And while some see light as coming from darkness. Pagans tend to see it as part of the dark itself. This is perfectly encompassed in the Eastern symbol of Yin and Yang. This is not a case of good vs. evil but that both energies are need to create the universe as a whole.

Dizzy in love

Face book is always flooded with memes and positive quotes but it is very rare that one changes your point of view. Today I saw one that did. It asked “Who do you believe a mirror, a photograph or the eyes of the man who thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world?” I realised that I must stop comparing myself to mirrors and photos and understand how beautiful I am. I have had issues with my appearance on and off for years, but after a long term relationship that belittled my appearance, my opinion after that is that I am ugly. When I met the wonderful man that I am with now, I am upgraded myself to plain. Despite his constant assurance that I am beautiful. And I must start believing it. It will take time but I am finally in a place when I can give myself that time.

Ready, steady, quote

This is one of my favourite quotes from my book – Blood Bound.

“I believe in you, that people like us deserve love. I will take my place upon the elaborate stage that is our lives. Like a grotesque drama, played for everyone and no-one, in this place, where we need more than trust. This is a love that will come from a sacrifice and we have both always knew that and that has not changed. You have been a ghost that has not only been haunting me but guiding me on my final journey.”

If you’d like to read more, here is a link to the book. http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1508622248/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdo_5dK7ub1XJ7TV4

Coloured in Love

Avarice is the local God.

Crush of the silent wind.

Her surreal life is fleshed.

Let’s go out, going to find.

Sweet sacrifice of an angel.

Not to cry, in the night.

Can’t stand the heat in your dreams.

The Predator takes the flight.

Her spirit won’t leave this house.

Leaving only for those who love.

Strange pet sings a local song.

Nostalgia of nature from above.

Bat’s shadows

Last night I went on a guide tour looking for bats and it was an amazing experience to see the bats themselves. The evening was slightly marred by the guide herself who did not seem comfortable talking in front of people and one group of people who seemed to have been dragged along due to one person’s interest and clearly showed their disinterest. I still learnt some amazing facts about British bats. That some can close of their hearing so they are not deafened by their own echolocation but can reopen them to hear the response. While mating happens in August, the females can delay gestation until the weather gets warmer. Like many creatures that are seen as “weird”, bats are in need of protection. Please support a local bat conservation project and keep these amazing creatures alive.

Living on a dark prayer

While I believe in balance within Paganism, it is the light side that tends to be promoted. I feel more comfortable in the darker side of things. This is not a bad thing. Darkness should not be confused with evil. The choice of surrounding my home with gothic imagery, especially death imagery does not make me a bad person. When I talk of Gothic imagery it is blend of historical and modern interpretation of death and power. Due to this I tend to feel connection with deities of a darker nature. This deities include Kali, Loki, Hades, Hecate, especially in her crone form. Currently I am reading a book about Morrigan that I have finding interesting. However, like paganism itself, the dark side is hard for me to explain why I feel its pull. It is deeply personal and the more you try to define it, the more elusive it becomes. Like trying to grasp the night itself. Sometimes the only way to understand it is to embrace it and to take it within your heart.

Begin Again

I did have a blog before but it seems to have lost it’s shine for me, so I am starting a new one. While it will still include my usual ranting, the occasional poem, information associated with paganism and the random shit that I come across. It will also be home to my renewed love of the darker side of life, especially embracing my Goth side and vampires, all fed by the novel. And speaking of that, I will be posting information, excepts etc. about the series of novels that I am calling “The Blood Series”.  Right, that is something I must get back to now, some writing!

Hello world!

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