Angie Smith's Blog, page 8

Of all the things that inspire...

She is top of the list.

For years I have loved her from afar as she shared her God-breathed knowledge and insights. There aren't words to describe how excited I am to share this with you...

TOMORROW (or today if you are reading this on Tuesday :)) you can order Ann Voskamp's book in the Kindle edition!!!!! I have read it and cannot recommend it highly enough. She is not just a friend, nor is she just a fabulous writer-I genuinely believe she will be remembered as one of the classic writers of our day. I could fill this page with words of admiration and excitement but I have met Ann on a few occasions and I am concerned about her having a coronary about the attention :)

I don't think it would be too dramatic to say that what Ann offers in her newest book is life-changing, though, and I'm pretty sure you will agree. Years ago I sent her an email saying I adored her, assuming she had no idea who I was. Little did I know that she did know my story and could relate to it in a horrific way. I have never seen anyone take life experiences, Scripture, and a genuine passion for serving the Lord and combine them in a way that makes the reader long to be a true servant of God the way Ann does. Many of you already know and love Ann, but you might not know the details of her story that have carved the depths of her. I am actually choked up as I type these words because I so esteem her...she makes me proud to be a sister in the faith.

For a glimpse of sweet Ann's book, please click here...you can thank me later. She's like Target. You'll go over there to look at this and you'll end up there for 3 hours with a cart full of goodness.

And might I ask a favor of you? Would you please pray along with me for Ann during this time? Specifically that her book would reach many people and that they would be changed as a result. Pray for wisdom as she navigates life as a wife, mommy, writer, and (reluctant!) speaker. Please pray that she will have discernment, peace, and strength as she prepares for the book release, and that God will give her favor with her words. It is hard to open your heart wide and invite the world into the wound but I am so grateful that she did the beautiful, hard thing. It is exquisite...

And now, I'm off to watch some football with Todd-he has been gone for five days and I am so grateful we have him back!!!

Before I go, I'll give you the quote of the day:

Abby has decided she wants to read my book and she got to the part where there is a picture of Kate with chocolate on her face. She turns to Kate and says: "Good news. You're in mommy's book. Bad news. You've got some poop on your face."

Awesome.

You all have a great night :)
XOXO,

Ang

I Can't Believe It (and an announcement!)

Ok, for any of you who have kept up with me in the last several years, you know that I am quite a fan of Beth Moore. Fan is a gentle word, which conjures images of someone who appreciates another person's gifting. It is a better choice than stalker, which sounds, well, weirder.

I got to hear her teach this weekend in Birmingham, and you will NEVER believe what I also got to experience.

Beth. In her jammies. With giant rollers and barely any makeup. In her hotel room.

Lest you have an image of me knocking out the room service lady, dressing up in her clothes, and sneaking up to Beth's room, that is not what happened. That scenario was a not-so-distant plan B to actually being invited to meet her.

A few small points I would like to make here.

I did not throw up nor pass out when I met her ( which may have been directly related to the fact that it is hard to pass out in front of someone in pajamas) and also, she is exactly who I hoped she would be. I cannot tell you what it meant to me to stand with the woman who first introduced me to the Lord.

I'm pretty sure I said absolutely nothing of substance, but I am proud of the fact that I didn't kick off my shoes and ask if all the girls could stick their feet in the tub together (that was part of the food delivery plan, which, in retrospect may have been flawed. And also, illegal).

I left the room after being encouraged in a way I never expected, and I cried when I got to the elevator. To the other 37 women who shared that elevator with me, I apologize and take full responsibility for making that the most awkward 54 seconds of your life.

I recovered enough to listen to Kay Arthur preach, and marveled at the way the Lord has used her testimony and her love for the Lord to inspire so many women. I respect her immensely and pray that one day when I am 77 years old I will be able to quote Scripture and rock skinny jeans and knee high boots the same way she does.

The next morning, Kelly Minter led a devotional and I decided to add her to my list of stalkees. Lucky you, Kelly. Lucky you.

Priscilla Shirer spoke next and I will not try to recreate the lesson for you. Sufficed to say, the hair on my arms stood up for an hour and a half and I took notes like I was in college again. But not biology, which I never took notes in because my professor wore holiday sweaters that played music and I couldn't bring myself to look away long enough to do anything but imagine his closet. And also, did they ever start playing in the middle of the night? Creepy. Although it does have potential as a Lifetime movie mystery.

I digress.

Priscilla is one of the most phenomenal Bible teachers I have ever had the privilege of hearing. I cannot recommend her highly enough, and if you have never done one of her studies, you really should. One word of caution though. If you ever see her in person, do not sit directly behind her husband unless there is stadium seating. Noted.

Worship was fantastic. It was the first time I have ever heard Travis Cottrell sing live and he is honestly phenomenal in person. Being married to a singer I feel like I am always wondering if people can really sing as well as they do on CD because there is so much that happens in the studio. He is FANTASTIC, and so were all of the others who led worship.

I had a book signing and met some amazing women who I am still praying for, and I never cease to be amazed at how many women have similar stories or know someone who does.

Then, it was time for Beth.

It goes without saying that she looked fabulous (in a jacket she got at Steinmart, no less. Or, "Steinmarts" as Sophie has quoted..she was also there and I was so excited I kind of attack-hugged her :).

She brought the house down as she always does, and if memory serves me correctly, she may have talked about me while she was teaching. Like, said my actual name that my parents gave me. I have a birth certificate to prove it. And also, she looked at me.

But I can't give you any more details about that because I blacked out and concentrated on getting the feeling in my body to come back.

From what I recall, it was very kind.

Kay, Priscilla, Beth, and Kelly did a Q&A at the end and I think it was my favorite part of the whole weekend (minus Beth in rollers saying, "I know it's hard to take me seriously this way, Angie..."). I laughed until I had tears in my eyes and walked out of there so grateful for a group of women who had all gathered together to meet with the same God.

I wanted to stay for the Compassion dinner and see all of my sweet friends (ones I have met and others I hadn't yet) but the kids and Todd were with me and we felt like we needed to get home and put them in their own beds. So, we did.

I am so grateful to Todd, who spent the weekend taking the girls swimming and to Claire's for earrings so that I could be there. I hate traveling without them, and it is a very rare man who can take care of 4 kids in another city to support his wife. He is incredible...I am so grateful for him and his heart.

So, if you have made it this far in the post, I want to share a little news with you (Why did you think I was going to say I was pregnant?!?!?! Because I am totally NOT :))

A few weeks ago I alluded to a little secret I had and I can officially share it with you now...I think you will understand why I asked for prayer, and why I will continue to do so. This is not something that is in my comfort zone (as in, I would rather teach biology with a singing snowman sweater on), but I am blessed beyond words to have this opportunity.

I can't tell you how much I hope I get to meet some of you ladies who I haven't been able to yet...so when you get a chance, check out the info and see if you can join us :)

And please, please pray for me.

I want to serve Him well in this life, and don't think I'm taking a minute of it for granted. January 17th will mark my tenth anniversary as a Christian and I am in constant awe of the One Who loves me so relentlessly...

Love to all...
Ang

Giveaway!!!

I am doing a great giveaway over here...come enter to win a computer and a gift card for $250 to Best Buy just in time for Christmas!!!

Happy turkey day to everyone...I'm grateful for you all!!!

What are you thanking God for this Thanksgiving???

Ang

18

A few months ago I was watching the girls play in the backyard, and the most beautiful light covered them. I was mesmerized by it, and decided to run in and get my camera so I could document it forever.

By the time I found my camera, put in the battery, and headed back out, it was gone.


I looked at the clock. 7:05.




The next night snuck up on me and I was about to miss it. I looked outside and there it was. This beautiful, warm, angelic light that filled my backyard and reminded me in a difficult moment that the Lord was all around me.


I asked Ellie if she could hold Charlotte as I grabbed my camera and some beautiful heirloom dresses that my friend Hollie made (one of them is featured HERE.... She is INCREDIBLY gifted and probably incredibly sick of me telling her so...but seriously, AMAZING).

I ran outside, adjusted the settings, and started shooting.

18 minutes later it was gone.

That's all I got.

Gone so fast.

Just 18 years.




I mean, minutes.

Sigh...

Life as Usual

Hello all!

We just got home from Toronto yesterday (we did 100 Huntley Street and they are the nicest people ever). If you decide to brave the interview, just know that my hair is psycho and I nod maniacally throughout. Watching yourself on video is even worse than hearing your voice on an answering machine. Most of the time I never watch or listen to anything I've done for this reason, but I always pray God will use it to speak to other people despite me and my bizarro hair.

It was the last trip for awhile and I feel like I can exhale just a little bit. It was only one night away but i still cried in the hotel room:( I seem to be doing that a lot lately.

And unfortunately for my waistline, room service almost always accompanies crying. Reason number 2 I don't watch my interviews.

So anyway, I'm so glad to be home. I have a Bible study on Wednesdays with other moms and I just love the women who are in the group. The kids also have a great time because there are several homeschoolers and they all come so it's a blast. They just do spelling bees and geometry while braiding each other's hair. Actually they trade animal bracelets and based on what I saw today, my little Kate is a sly shark. She is a stinking riot. The other day the girls were talking about their tithes and Abby decided she was going to give 20% so that Jesus could have 10 and God could have 10. Then Ellie said she was going to do the same but maybe give another 10% because she didn't want the Holy Spirit to feel left out. At that point Kate (money clenched in fists) replied thoughtfully, "Well, I think I will give God just my hugs and kisses" and proceeded to hold onto her cash. She did eventually give it back to the Jesus jar but I'm not sure she got the whole "joy of stewardship" thing.

I haven't talked about Charlotte recently on here...so sorry! I need to download some pictures as well so you can see how she's growing. Honest to goodness she is the sweetest baby you could ever imagine. She just loves to be with you and will lay her little head down on anyone's shoulder and snuggle in. She smiles all the time and she has this calm, gentle, loving personality that makes her so hard to put down. I feel like she's really different from the other girls at her age because she is just so content all the time. I'm glad I got a super easy one as my fourth!!! I'm so grateful for every bit of her I get to enjoy, but I'm sure that others who have lost a child would agree that there's a bittersweet feeling that comes along with seeing her grow and wondering what the other child would have been like. The girls have been talking a lot about Audrey lately and I think they sense it too.

On a related note, I've been struggling with a lot of fear related to Charlotte. I was sharing with my sister in law the other night about how Charlotte has started flipping over to sleep on her stomach and for awhile I would go in every half hour and put her back on her back. Again. And again. And again. I could feel myself starting to panic whenever I walked into the room, my mind telling me that she might not be breathing anymore. Finally, after I had done this more times than I can say, I felt the Lord stop me midway over to her and say gently, "Angie. How long will you do this?"


So instead of turning her over I sat on the floor and prayed. And prayed. And prayed.

And then I closed the door behind me and took Him at His word. I know that God is good, and that He doesn't go off duty and let things just fall apart. He has a plan for Charlotte, and whatever that plan is will not be enhanced by me obsessing over every single thing I think I can do to control her safety. It's appropriate to be cautious and responsible, but I can't let myself believe that it's up to me...but that is so hard.

So, there's a prayer request if you don't mind :)

I have a few more announcements coming up (no, I'm not pregnant :)) and when the time is right I will be so excited to share with you...but you can rest assured that as wonderful as they are, there are most certainly (GULP) prayer requests that will go along with them!!! Let's just say God has a sense of humor, and when I tell Him I'm too scared to do something, He finds a way to drop me right in the center of the fear. I know that's where He is, so I'm jumping, but it is a scary feeling...especially with my hair being uncooperative. It just makes it all harder, you know?

Incidentally, I despise secrets (I actually got ticked at Todd when he planned a surprise party for me the first year we were married. Hasn't happened since.) so I will definitely fill you all in soon!!! In the meantime, will you also ask the Lord to give me peace?

I have a feeling that some of the stress is coming from the work I'm doing on my next book-it's bringing up some difficult memories but I hope there will be great fruit in the end. Right now it kind of feels like squashed bananas and rotten apples :)

I know I have said absolutely nothing of value in this post, but I really just wanted to say hello. As always, please feel free to share any prayer requests you have in the comments and know that you will be prayed over. I honestly can't tell you how much it means to me when I ask you all a question and then I get to read all the great suggestions and thoughts...it makes this feel like a community and I love that :)

With love and gratitude,
Ang

Mr. Lewis

I am writing tonight with a heavy heart, asking you to pray for Audra. So many of you who have read my blog for awhile know that she has been my best friend for almost 14 years.

Audra's dad passed away early this morning (around 3 a.m.). He had been ill for quite some time but still his same spunky self and none of us expected it to be so sudden.

Please pray for Audra's mother, her sister, and all of the extended family as they walk through this season.

He was an amazing man and lived a great life, and he will be so missed.

Thank you, friends.
Angie

Relevant '10

I'm enjoying the feeling of my own quilt tucked under my legs as a storm rolls into Nashville.

It's not necessarily the kind of storm that will cause major damage, but it's enough to shake me up a little.

Little known fact about me: I like to leave the T.V. on the Food Network when there is any kind of scary situation going on in the news because Giada keeps stirring in her beach house and the iron chefs keep chopping. Currently, Bobby Flay is throwing down with an unassuming fellow and none of the smily people know about the storm.

I like the Food Network.

I want to live there. Safe. Happy. Delicious. Unaffected.

I got home today after an amazing weekend in Pennsylvania at the Relevant conference. I must say, it was a breath of fresh air. I get really nervous about speaking but it isn't like that's the only part that scares me. I have to fly to get there (FYI, they still make propeller planes. I found that out on Thursday. Good to know). I have to meet people who I am intimidated by because I don't know why on earth I'm sitting on this side of the table when there is wisdom on that side. I am an introvert who pretends to be an extrovert (unless it's one on one...that, I love). I always mean one thing and say another and then end up crying in my hotel room alone because I feel like a fool. I don't go to these kinds of events because I have created an image in my mind of the seventh grade, where everyone is chit-chatting and you feel like they are pointing at you and laughing. I fear I won't make the cut, and the irony is that people come up to me with their hands shaking and say they are so happy to meet me and all the while I'm thinking, "How can I make my hands stop shaking and write something beautiful for them..."

I am going to write the rest of this post if it kills me (sorry, self talk).

I listened to Crystal Paine speak on Thursday night and I decided about 4 minutes into her talk that she was going to be one of my best friends as soon as I could figure out where to hide my True Religion jeans (pocket placement, need I say more?). She was equal parts charming and convicting, and (confession) I had never been to her blog before. I'm the girl who buys the three ring binder and stuffs it with the baseball card sleeves and for exactly 2 weeks I fill it with coupons for things I will never buy. Then I carry it like a badge of honor as I explain that yes, check-out lady, I would like to purchase 14 neutrogena lip glosses, a tube of snot-flavored toothpaste and the DVD "Cars." And why is THAT weird?

Coupon FAIL.


I went to her blog tonight and spent quite a bit of time there...she ROCKS my socks off. But you already know that because evidently I'm the only person in the free world who just found out.


Friday was chocked full of Sally Clarkson, who is one of the most incredible ladies you will ever listen to or read. Her book "The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity" is one of my all-time favorites. She also wrote "Educating the Wholehearted Child," which was one of the major reasons I chose to homeschool. I can't speak highly enough of her and to see her in person was to respect her even more...wow.

I spoke Friday night and did not throw up or pass out. Noteworthy.

Saturday I got to spend a little time with Ann Voskamp and needless to say, she is every bit of what you would expect. Beautiful, gracious, elegant in an approachable "Audrey Hepburn" kind of way, but with the kind of laugh where you can see her back teeth (one of my favorite qualities in any person). She looks you in the eye, hugs you like an old friend, and whispers wisdom in the most unexpected moments. My editor Jennifer was with me and said that her favorite moment of the entire weekend was me looking up and realizing Ann was getting in the elevator as Ann saw that I was there. We both screamed and jumped up and down, hugging while the whole thing shook. To put flesh on computer words is such a blessing. And I suppose, kind of dangerous if you are phobic of elevators. Or propellers.

Ann is the kind of lady who loves deep, smiles teeth, and shakes elevators. She shines Jesus, and I know that she won't like the last paragraph because it might make you look at her...Ann, we don't. We see Him. Thank you for being brave to make Him famous. A tinge of color looks good in your wardrobe, friend. :)

All in all, I think the take-away message was unexpected for many who attended. Instead of learning how to increase stats and focus on being media saavy, we sat as sisters and shared the ways we wish we did it better. Saving money, parenting, walking with the Lord, being a wife, and on and on...

And in the middle of a blogging conference, the keyboard tapping stopped. We sat in the presence of the Lord and what He would have for us. So many wise women, all using their own words and gifts to say the same thing.

Bow low and put the first things first.

Hours after my book signing I sat alone in my hotel room, shaking with sadness as I remembered the tears and the stories. I carried their words with me to the desk, where I wept their sorrow. A lost child, abuse, doubt, fear, shame...and instinctively I reached to my side for the remote control.

I held it still, staring at the blank screen.

Who am I?


I'm not her. Nor her. Nor her, nor her, nor her...

Have you heard it too? Rain soaking the toys left outside, dishes piled high, children with dirty cheeks...it would be so tempting to wish it different.

I realize I have turned the T.V. on, and have already found the safe place, hardly realizing I had moved.

Knives chop. Laughter rolls. The oven opens and the perfect dish makes its way to the judges table.

All is right in the place where all is right. It's perfect. I'm perfect. I didn't choke on my words or doubt myself. They have no idea I'm up here crying.

The chefs, I mean. Right?

No. Actually I don't.


So, here's what I took from Relevant (and I am indebted to Sarah Mae for allowing me the privilege).

We have each been given a gift to be used to further the Kingdom of God. Your worth isn't on the spine of a book or the statistics of your blog. You aren't going to be judged by how many followers you had (As Ann so wonderfully said, "Jesus only had 12 followers..." :) ) or the way you curl your hair. And in this crazy world of blogging, sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is to close the computer. I needed to hear all those words.

It wasn't a dangerous storm, remember? Just the kind that shakes you up...

This was a weekend spent with women who love well, and I'm better for it.

I will think twice before I click on the T.V. and believe it to be true.

And when you see me, know that I'm not actually that skinny.

They're just really, really expensive jeans.

:)

Love and prayer,
Angie

Thoughts?

Okay, here goes another "all over the place and not the least bit spiritually deep or interesting" post.

Have you guys ever seen the little search box in the upper left corner of my blog? I had no idea it was there but it's a handy little guy in case you want to find something from an old post. Hope that makes it easier if you're trying to track something down, and if not, let me know and I'll try and find it :)


Okay, I want to tell you about the AMAZING weekend I had this past weekend. I got to go to a True Woman Conference, and if you haven't heard of Nancy Leigh DeMoss, you need to. I had spent some time with her for a radio interview the week prior and absolutely fell in love with her ministry minded heart. I finished her book "Brokenness: The Heart God Revives " in one plane ride and I'm pretty sure I got snot on the guy next to me because I was a WRECK. A beautiful, humbled, challenged, grateful wreck. After I got home from visiting her ministry I told Todd I really wanted to sponsor one of the girls who works there (Meet Liz!) because they raise support instead of receiving salaries, and we are so overjoyed to get to be a part of their ministry in this way. And then I made a crazy, wonderful last minute decision to go to the conference in Dallas and caught a flight 2 hours later. I am so glad I did...what a precious time of worship and fellowship. I got to sit by (and have my picture taken with, thankyouverymuch) Priscilla Shirer, who is one of my Bible-teaching heroes.

And the most awesome moment of that was when the speaker asked us to turn to Zechariah and I broke out into cold sweats. Priscilla's opened as if the hand of God did it Himself, and a light shone on the perfect verse as I tried to remember the song and play it cool. Anyway, it was fantastic other than that :)

If for some reason you might want to join me in raising support for Liz (I know, she's a stranger, but she is awesome and you will be so blessed to share in her journey!!) let me know and I will fill you in on all the details. She's a little short of her goal and sometimes strangers find amazing ways to bless others:)

I'm going to finish up my preparations for Relevant tomorrow and will head out on Thursday. Please be praying that I will do a good job of connecting while I'm speaking, and also that I won't fall down or throw up.

And also, this will be my longest trip away from the girls (3 nights) and I'm really upset about it. Could you please pray for peace for all of us and safety for them? I so appreciate it. They will be in great hands but I'm a mommy and it makes me worry to be away...

(Awkward transition to next random topic)

I'm feeling like I'm either putting too much pressure for my kids to be doing chores or I'm not expecting enough. The girls will be eight in December, Kate just turned 5. So this is going to be a free-for-all but would you all be willing to tell me some things around the house you feel like are appropriate for different ages (running dishwasher, doing laundry, sweeping, cleaning rooms etc). I'm so curious what other people do!!! I've been wanting to ask you all about your thoughts on this and can't wait to read what you write!

Sorry...too tired to try and make this post prettier  :)

much love,
angie

Sweet Sleep!!

I've shared with you before about Sweet Sleep, a nonprofit ministry based in Nashville which provides beds, bedding and Bibles to orphaned and abandoned children around the world (www.sweetsleep.org) . Thanks to you, Sweet Sleep has done amazing work in northern Uganda. And, with your support RIGHT NOW, we can do it again.
Here's the situation:

Sweet Sleep and their partner, American Refugee Committee (ARC), is working with hundreds of thousands of children living in child-headed households in the IDP (Internally Displaced Persons) camps in northern Uganda. 20 years ago, the government of Uganda placed every person in every tribe into these camps to protect them from rebels which were attacking the North over two decades. A few years ago this area finally began to experience peace, however today, more than a million people are still living in these camps. An estimated 750,000 of these people are children who are orphans with no place to go. ARC is working to trace each child by their family name back to their home tribe. They then work with village leaders to determine what land their family owned and reclaim it for them. As part of the process, each resettled child receives a new hut from ARC.

Being resettled gives a child hope and a chance for a new life. There's just one problem: the children have been afraid to leave. Until now.

Even though the Ugandan Government has closed these camps, it is very difficult to get all of the children to leave. The children in these child-headed households were born in these camps – it's simply all they've ever known.

In January of this year, as Sweet Sleep's partnerships began in northern Uganda, ARC hoped to resettle 600 children. This was more than the number of children they resettled in 2009, but they were hoping the children would have a good response to the opportunity of being provided with a bed, net and Bible.

By the end of this June, Sweet Sleep had already provided ARC with the full amount of beds, nets and Bibles they'd requested for the entire year! Much to the amazement of ARC leadership, the children are now lining up to leave the camps to be resettled into their home villages. The children are sharing with ARC and Sweet Sleep that they never imagined they could have such a thing as a bed, mosquito net or a Bible of their own. Many other organizations in northern Uganda have come to ARC to ask how they've been able to get so many children to resettle. Who would have known something as simple as a bed, mosquito net and Bible could be so completely profound on a child's life? Amazing. Simply amazing!
So, my friends, here's where you come in. ARC recently asked Sweet Sleep to provide 700 more beds to the additional children they'll be able to resettle this November -- in just 25 days! But we can't resettle these children without you. A resettlement kit with a straw mat, new mattress, blanket, mosquito net and Bible is just $50! 
$50 to help a child find hope, peace and comfort in their new home. And thanks to some wonderful friends of Sweet Sleep's, any gifts given to help resettle these children in October will be matched 100%! We need just 350 friends to give $50 or 175 people to give $100 – we can do this, right? So take a moment and think – how many beds can I provide? I know you'll sleep sweeter knowing a child has come home and will sleep sweetly because of your gift. Just go to www.sweetsleep.org to donate any amount and be sure to write "Gulu" in the comment box. 

One more thing….read this letter from a child Sweet Sleep resettled in June. Let's work together to help more sweet orphans like David finally come home.

Dear Sweet Sleep,

My name is David. I am 14 years old and am in primary four. I would like to thank you, Sweet Sleep for giving me the mattresses and mostly the Bible.

Now days I know more about God than I did before because I read my Bible and after I go for a sleep on my soft mattress. Am very happy this days because I start sleep right when I got on to my bed till morning without feeling any pain. 

So I again thank God for that special gift which I was not even expecting in my life and not forgetting to pray for you and also the organization called Sweet Sleep.

Thank you so much from David.

God Bless You.
Angie

Now That's Just Ugly...

Alright you all. We have reached a sad milestone on my blog. I tend to stay away from even mentioning this kind of stuff because it's so rare and to be honest, it just doesn't really seem like I'm being a good steward of this blog if I'm complaining about things like this.

BUT.

I received several e-mails this morning (as did my friend Jess) alerting us to the fact that someone had decided to go on a little rampage and leave some Christian-hating, swear-word infused, extremely cruel comments on my blog. By the time Jess let me know (thank you Ann Voskamp for the head's up and for caring for me so sweetly...), she had already deleted them and banned the IP address associated with whomever it was. I didn't think it was in my best interest to read them based on what she shared so I told her to just get rid of them. I apologize if you were exposed to them.

Here's how I deal with the negative stuff (because it WILL happen on occasion. It's just life...). Every single negative comment I have seen about me or my blog has the potential to include something that might be true. Whether or not someone meant to be hateful is kind of irrelevant if there is a greater lesson that I am being taught about my integrity. Off the top of my head I can only think of three such occasions, where I felt someone came after me in an inappropriate manner but after reading and praying, I felt that there was actually a truth that I needed to deal with. In each of those cases, I contacted the person directly and we began a relationship. I am blessed to have all three of those women in my life to this day. Sometimes I think people just feel freedom to say things from behind a keyboard that they wouldn't in real life, and I will not tell you that I ignore it because I don't. I see it, and it hurts me because I am human and don't have as thick of skin as I would like to have :)

With that said (and my point to all of this...) I would like to reiterate something I have said before on here and will repeat as often as necessary. You are free to contact me if you have issues you want to discuss or questions about anything I put on here-it's public, and if I didn't want it to be, I wouldn't share. So I think that's fair game. BUT.

BUT.

If you ever, ever, ever say something about my daughter that is anything less than respectful, you will be banned. Period. I have no interest in allowing that sort of thing here, and frankly, it disgusts me that a deceased child could be the victim of someone's tirade. It's the first time this kind of thing has happened where it warranted a response like this, and I hope it doesn't happen again. In the event that you see that it has, please flag the comment and I (or Jess or Ann or someone) will address it.

I'm a very nice girl and it takes quite a bit to ruffle my feathers, but this? No. Not acceptable.

I thought I was fortunate enough to have heard about it before my dad did, but that wasn't the case. In fact, he was so angry that he didn't sleep last night :(

This whole post doesn't apply to 99.9% of you, but so many of you had written me emails today that I thought it would be easier to just mention it here.

I'm going to pray for the person who said these horrible things about Audrey, but I want to confess something to you all. As I have processed this today I want to be honest and tell you that this wasn't my natural inclination. I know it should be, but it wasn't. I'm her mother and I won't stand for it.

I'm fair game. You don't have to like me, my religion, my choices, or anything I write (I hope you do, though...have I mentioned I'm a total people-pleaser? Gulp. :)) I choose to write this blog and sometimes that means having to confront things I don't want to. Thankfully, I feel like it has made me a better mom, wife, writer, and Christian because the "criticism" has almost always come with genuine love and concern (For example, I posted a picture of Charlotte in a sling that some people were concerned about. They let me know they were concerned and I just didn't think it was worth the risk based on what they were saying, so I bought a safer wrap to keep her in until she was older. I didn't feel that they were trying to bash me, but just help me with loving advice. But not in the Sister-Wives kind of way. Did anyone see that last night? WHOA.)

I have derailed.

The whole point was to say thank you for loving me so well, and for those of you who want to say ugly things about innocent babies, I think your bus is now leaving the station.

:)

I will be back soon with something more fun soon....:) And don't feel like you need to defend me or even address this in the comments...I am totally fine. Just wanted to let you know what the scoop was since it was the first time we have dealt with it. I so appreciate you all!!!

We will be at Focus on the Family all day tomorrow so I will try to send out some Twitter pics. You all have a great Tuesday!
Ang