Angie Smith's Blog, page 6

Life is good.

Just a quick hello from Nashville :)

We have been LOVING the weather and have pretty much been living outside these days. Todd has set up his gardening stuff, so pretty soon we are going to have more basil than we know what to do with. He has also gotten into making things, and has turned our garage into a little workshop. So far, in addition to the square foot gardens, he also made two swings that hang from the tree in our backyard. The girls are in heaven!!!

If you haven't heard yet, Kelly had her sweet baby girl Hollis, and you are NOT going to believe the head of hair on this kid. She is gorgeous like her sister and mama, but I have to say my favorite picture is the "outtake" because it totally looks like our family trying to get a photo...

In other news, I went to Dallas last week for a Women of Faith video, and it was a complete blast. I honestly cannot believe how much I enjoy being with these ladies. I was so nervous, being the new kid and all, but they made me feel like I had been with them forever. Something I love and noticed right off the bat is how incredibly supportive they are of each other. I haven't seen any cattiness or anything but genuine respect, and it just does my heart good. I got to wear shoes that might be more than my monthly mortgage, and a twirly dress that looked like it was from the 50's. Here is a shot of us on the green screen, which will eventually look like a disco, I think. And no, we didn't get to keep the cute outfits or jewelry :( We had the option to buy it but I decided I needed to feed my kiddos instead, so I passed. But I felt like a queen playing dress-up! And who knew dancing for like 6 hours straight in 4 inch high heels was such a good workout? Phew.



With Lisa Harper
Me and Nicole Johnson pretending to be 50's housewives who vacuum in heels...:)

I laugh every time I look at this one because as soon as Sheila Walsh saw it she said she looked like a giant hamster. She didn't, but it was really funny :) That is Kim Cash Tate on the far right but we were missing Luci Swindoll for this shot :( 

I think that's enough links for tonight (ha!), but I hope you will meet all the ladies I will be sharing the porch with...I am thanking God for allowing me this opportunity. Don't get me wrong; I am terrified of the whole thing, but these ladies make it the experience of a lifetime. I'm just plain grateful I get to be in the company of women who can laugh and love Jesus together...I hope you will join us this year!!!
I'm heading up to put the little ones to bed...I'll see you all soon :)
Ang

Kristin!!!

I am so proud of my friend Kristen!!! You all might know her from her blog, "We are THAT family." I love, love, love her heart. She traveled to Kenya with Compassion International and came home with an incredible vision for a home (The Mercy House) for pregnant girls who are living on the streets. There is a lot more information on her blog about it, and I just know you will be so touched by the way God has stirred her family to help these sweet girls.

I am so excited to share a link to grab her book...if you are a mom you will love her daily devotions, and will relate to the life of a busy mom trying to love God in the midst of it all :)

Well done, Kristen!!!! Blessed to call you a friend...keep it up, girl!

Love,
Angie

What Women Fear

I am shaking in my boots here, folks :)

No, it isn't available for pre-order quite yet but I wanted to include you all as much as possible!!!

I am waiting on edits now but the release date is September 1, 2011.

As far as the quality of writing and the content, it is the piece I am the most proud of. The Lord showed me some things in Scripture I had missed many times, and I pray you are as blessed as I was by what He taught me.

I have long been fascinated by the questions God asks of His people in Scripture. Why does He ask? Clearly He knows the answers, right? Well, as I studied men and women in the Bible who were facing some kind of fear (fear of failure, fear of being found out, fear of being insignificant etc) guess what I also noticed?

God asked them questions.

And I believe the heart of the way we are called to deal with the fear is in the way we answer these questions. So, I wrote about my fears, my life, my God, and the answers that I believe shape us as we face fear.

Want to see the cover?!?!?! (Please say yes, please say yes...)

TADA!!!!!!





I will keep you posted on more details as soon as I have them, but please be praying for me as I head into edits!!! SO excited to share this with you all!!!!

Much love,
Ang

What She Said

I'm not going to say much about this post, other than that you need to read it.

Mel, this is spectacular. I just stood reading it with a cup of coffee in hand and nearly spilled it as I tried to maneuver my "Hallelujah and Amen" victory dance around the kitchen. PREACH it, girl.

The Gospel, pure and simple.

Love.


Not on paper, but in the flesh.

I pray you are all as blessed by this as I am, and as a word of caution, set down your cup before you read.

A

Remember the Question About Charlotte?

First off, I am so glad I asked for help with the blog stuff because you all are brilliant and there were about ten million ideas I am going to incorporated that I hadn't thought of...thank you!!!!
In other news, awhile ago I posted asking who you all thought Charlotte looked like and then I forgot to post *MY* opinion :) A sweet reader sent me an email asking if she had missed it and I remembered I hadn't scanned in my *evidence* :)
Since she was born, most people say she is a Smith and I do see a lot of Todd in her. BUT, we were at my sister's house for her son Tuck's birthday a few months ago and I saw a picture of her hanging on the wall from when she was a baby. I don't have a copy of that particular photo but I dug through a stack of others and I pulled out a couple...
What do you all think? Do you see it???? (That is, if you can look past the rug.....wow. Mom, dad? My eyes are burning.)
I love my sis Jenn...if you follow me on Twitter you know where to go get a good cup of coffee and meet her when you are in town :) 
ANNNNNNNDDDDDD drum roll......







Seriously, even her mannerisms are like Jenn's. Hopefully she gets her artistic talent!!!!
On a side note, I found some other photos I need to scan in...in my next book I talk a lot about some hard times in my childhood and I came across a few images that I think will convince you I was a scary, scary looking seventh grader. YOWSA. 
I will be telling you all more about the book soon...I am so excited about it, and I can't wait to share more!!! I want to wait until I have cover comps though, because I happen to heart the cover :)
And no, it does not involve a school photo of me...
:)
love to all!A

Blog Redesign...

So I'm still on the hunt for a designer, but I think I am going to switch to Wordpress in a little while. I have pushed back on the whole "changing the blog" thing, but recently I have been feeling like it's a good idea. I know that none of you are wringing your hands right now about this, but I still want to share and ask your advice about a couple things.

I feel like Audrey's story needs it's own home on the blog, where you can read her whole story from start to finish in one place. I would really like for the other posts to have labels so they would be easier to find, and I need to have my contact info and scheduling stuff on there...but, I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to hear from you all about what you would want the blog to have and what you don't like as well.

I'm sure you all will think of "tabs" that haven't crossed my mind and I would so appreciate any thoughts you have. I know you will understand that this is hard for me and even in such a *small* thing I am mindful of the fact that I stink at change. STINK.

Any ideas?

Ellie

Thank you so much for you prayers yesterday...I am so relieved that it was something her doctor could identify and know how to treat (actually, no treatment, which is even better than medicine :)). We will go back in a few weeks to make sure it has gone down a little but she said that it was something that could take months. Who knew that lymph nodes felt like bone when they got swollen up? Not me. Ellie had five of them in a row where there was obviously a reaction to something. We think it is the kitty cat that has been coming around our house. The girls named her "Midnight Purr" and they feed her milk out of a bottle...hilarious. It's somebody's cat because it's gorgeous and well groomed, but we haven't figured out who she belongs to. Sweet Ellie-she was trying so hard to hold it together and then she just broke down and the doctor's office. They did a little finger prick and tested her blood and everything looked perfect, so I went to bed a very grateful woman last night.

I had actually written something about a special moment between me and Ellie for (in)courage, and it was scheduled for today, so it's up right here if you want to come over and read.

If you haven't become a part of the (in)courage community, I really urge you to. Stop by with your morning coffee and meet all of the writers over there. I promise you will be blessed beyond measure. It is one of my favorite things I have ever been involved in and I can't tell you how much I love the hearts of the women behind it. As I have mentioned, we moved our book club over there and have been reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts, which, if I might add....

IS NUMBER 15 ON THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER LIST!!!!!!!!!!

AMAZING.

I'm so, so proud of her :)

Tomorrow is Todd's birthday, so I need to run and do some scheming...

Love to all,
Ang

Quick Update: All is Well

Angie asked me to post a quick update since she will be out for a few hours.

Thank you for praying for Ellie.

Everything is good!

She had five bumps in a row in her lymphnodes and it looks like it is a reaction - possibly to a cat the girls have befriended.

The doctor did some blood tests to rule out lymphoma and the tests came back normal.

Blessings to you,
Jess

A Prayer Please

I am on my way to the pediatricians office after Ellie pointed out that a bump on her head has been bothering her. It feels like bone (it's at the base of her skull, about the size of a large marble) but is very worrisome because I have never felt it before and she has been complaining for months about dizzy spells etc. I know that more than likely it is nothing but my stomach is upside-down right now. Please pray that everything is okay. Appt is at 12:50 and I will let you all know what the doctor says.

Thank you,
Ang

In Between

We had an awesome time on our cruise, despite the fact that I did not get to meet Kirk Cameron. The weather was unbelievable, and it was definitely one of those, "Umm, really? This is work?" kind of weeks, where we were just so grateful to all be together and enjoying the sunshine.

I did have a little breakdown on the first night because I realized that the last cruise we were on was almost exactly three years ago (same month) when I was pregnant with Audrey. We had her diagnosis and were trying to enjoy it but were so distracted and devastated by reality. There had been a point on that cruise where I was going to grab something to eat and I slipped on something slick and wiped out, landing (almost) full force on my tummy while I jerked my knees out just in time to catch me. The worst part was that everybody just stared at me and nobody helped me up. When I finally did get up I was bawling crying and ran to find Todd and all of our friends and I was bruised up for days. I hadn't really even remembered it until I walked through a similar area on this boat and all of a sudden I felt sick to my stomach. It's amazing how the mind works, and I have so many of those stored places in my mind that I don't access until I'm in the moment and it just falls right on me. That seems to be the hardest part of the grief journey right now-just the unexpected times when something occurs to you or a memory comes back and you just weren't mentally prepared to cope.

This was totally going to be a happy post! Sorry about that :) But it is, unfortunately, reality...

Overall the trip was really fun. I was going to post some pictures but who are we kidding? Not my strong suit...so, if you're curious and want to see some great photos, click HERE to go to Kelsey's facebook album and see how everyone looks so grown up!!! Seriously, Charlotte even has little chic-let teeth :) She has finally decided she would like to begin sitting up and making motions in the direction of crawling. I'm telling you, this kid is one in a million. So laid back and easy-going and her smile is absolutely infectious. I am so madly in love I cannot even tell you...

In other news, I spoke at my first official Women of Faith event a few weeks ago (not an arena event, but the one where all the group leaders meet up...about 2500 women) and despite the fact that I was honest-to-goodness terrified out of my mind, I got through it. The women were so incredibly gracious, and even though I feel like I did kind of a choppy and unpolished job, I'm letting myself relax a little because I don't think I will ever be super put-together on the platform and I'm trying to embrace that :) At least people feel like they can relate to me, right?? Anyway, it was great to be with the WOF team and to really see their vision for the events. I love, love, love what they do and I can tell you from behind the scenes, these are INCREDIBLE women who I really look up to and enjoy being with. I was expecting to love it, but it's so much more than I had anticipated.

If you are going to be at one of the events that I'm speaking at, I would love to know! It may not be possible but I keep thinking it would be so cool to have a little breakfast or something where we could all meet and share coffee...feel free to shoot me an email and I will start putting together a little list just in case :) It would be so neat to put flesh on you all instead of just reading your words :)

And, because I genuinely think of this as a safe place where I can come and share my heart, I want to ask for your prayer. Those of you who have read this from the beginning know that all of this other stuff was never on the agenda for my life :) I sincerely feel that my choices are in line with God's will for my life, and I have gotten much better at saying no when I need to, BUT...

It's a lot! And as much as I love WOF and all the opportunities the Lord has given through Audrey, I remain a wife and mom first and foremost. I am going to be really transparent in the hopes that I won't receive judgment for saying this, because in all honesty, I think more people need to share this kind of stuff. I have NOT done a perfect job of keeping my priorities in check. I struggle with being a people-pleaser and there have been times when I have let this affect my decisions, and in that, I have failed to put my husband and children first. That does not mean I don't think I should be speaking or writing or any of that, but rather that I am trying to be a good steward of my highest calling above all else.

I guess as I started writing this I thought about the fact that sometimes we don't want to admit we haven't done a great job, or that we need help (for example, Kelsey comes twice a week for several hours to help around the house and let me go write when I need to. She can pinch hit with teaching, laundry, or whatever is pressing, and I am so grateful to have her help! I don't do it alone!!!), but I think I would be doing you a disservice if I painted the picture that everything was simple and easy and I never felt like I had screwed up. Because I have, and I will continue to, but I am trusting that the Lord knows my heart and my deepest intentions, and that He will guide me as I go.

To that end, I am asking the Sundays to pray for me in this season. Please pray specifically that I will know what God's will is for me, and that I will not overstep His grid for my life. Please pray for my marriage, my kids, and my own heart as I discern the ins and outs of my ministry. I know I don't have to share any of this, and I'm not trying to justify myself or my decisions. Quite frankly, I feel that I need and desire the accountability and support of many of you who have walked with me. At the risk of it sounding like I haven't figured it all out, let me say it this way.

I haven't figured it all out.

:)

One of the ways the Lord has spoken to me is that if there is ever something I am invited to speak at, I am going to plan to bring one of my kids with me. I have talked to the girls about this being a "special date" with mommy, and Todd and I are saving miles to make it feasible. Right this second in my life I feel like God has said there are pretty serious boundaries as far as what makes sense for my family (as far as the amount of time I'm gone, which is pretty much never more than one night unless I have the fam with me). In fact, tomorrow night will be the first night I have ever slept in a hotel room by myself...:)

I did ask Ellie to come with me but she said she was really wanting to play with her cousins instead and could she possibly go next time instead? Sweet girl. Don't tell her but I'm kind of sad about it.

Anyway, this is jumbled and ugly but I'm praying that the Lord will speak through it anyway, and that you will know how humbled (genuinely, profoundly humbled) I am to be able to share my story, but also that I want to do it in the way that honors God the most. That means I get smaller, not bigger. That means my marriage and family life thrive. That means I keep my focus where it needs to be and not where it doesn't. It means I confess to you that I don't always get it right, and ask that you join me in praying as I go.

I hope some of this makes sense, and if it doesn't, just click on the link and look at all the cute pictures.

But don't expect to see Kirk.

:)

All my love and gratitude,
Ang