Kim Hooper's Blog, page 29

Would I want my daughter to be a writer?

A couple weeks ago, a friend texted me this tweet by Rebecca Makkai, Pulitzer and National Book Award Finalist:

I had a laugh. Then I thought: How would I feel about my daughter becoming a writer? 

I can say with 100% sincerity that I just want my daughter to be a content, fulfilled person, no matter what she does. I know lots of parents say this; it’s the right thing to say, after all. But I really feel zero attachment to my daughter being any certain way. I just want her to be herself. That’s a true luxury–being your real, authentic self, free of the expectations and pressures of others.

That said, if she seemed to show an interest in writing, I would feel a mix of emotions. There are pros and cons to being a writer (see below). And when I say “being a writer,” I don’t mean in the career sense; I mean being a writer at your core, needing to write to feel centered.

Pros:

Writing is a great outlet. I think I developed a love of writing because it was so therapeutic for me. I didn’t consciously think, “Oh, I’m going to write because it alleviates my anxieties”;it just happened organically. Now, I’m not sure how I would survive life without writingWriting helps you connect with others. Writing involves putting yourself in other people’s shoes, which can really help with open-mindedness, empathy, and compassion–all good thingsWriting demands a certain kind of self-exploration. It helps you know yourself and understand your thoughts and feelings in a deep, intimate way

Cons:

Writing is a time-consuming passion. It is difficult to fit it in to daily life, especially as an adult with all kinds of responsibilities. If you are a true writer, you need to write, so the time constraints can be maddening. And if you’re unable to find writing time too many days in a row, YOU can be maddening (to yourself and your poor husband and all the people who love you)Writing books does not pay the bills (unless you get very lucky). Because it’s so time-consuming, it’s tempting to think,”Oh, this should be my full-time job then. Duh.” Unfortunately, it’s extremely difficult to make a living off of writing books. Most novelists are also professors/teachers, or they have a variety of daytime gigs (I work full-time at an ad agency). The necessity for another job in addition to the one you feel you were born to do creates obvious problems (see previous bullet)If you decide to put your writing out into the world, people can be very cruel. Writing, like any art, is SUCH a subjective thing. Criticism (from agents, editors, random people on the Internet) can be super harsh. Writers are some of the most sensitive people, by nature, so the harshness can be especially upsettingWriting can be torturous at times. There are times something you’re writing just isn’t working. There’s the notorious writer’s block. The process is pain-staking. It just is. Most writers rewrite things hundreds of times. They crank out 100 pages, only to throw them away and start over. There’s lots of insomnia involved, at least for me

I’ve had a few younger readers reach out to me and ask if they should become writers, and I always say the same thing: “Only become a writer if you have to write.” If it’s even up for debate, if it’s even a thing you could consider just not doing, then don’t become a writer. I write because I can’t not write, for better or worse. There have been times I’ve declared, “I’m done with writing,” but I always go back to it. 

Time will tell if my daughter has any interest in writing. If she feels that passionate need to write, then I’ll be grateful she’s found her outlet (we all need one, I think). And I’ll do my best to coach her through the cons, as best I can. 

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What’s Next

Now that TINY is out in the world, I’m looking ahead to what’s next.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been in novel-writing mode. All 3 of my published books were written before 2017. I had my daughter in October 2017 and, since then, I’ve been adjusting to motherhood, working full-time (at an ad agency), and recovering from about a billion daycare-borne illnesses.  I’ve also been working on a short story collection, which is shaping up nicely, but I’ve missed being immersed in a novel. 

When my daughter hit the 18-month mark, I started to feel ready to dive into a new novel. I’ve had an idea in my head for the last couple years, an idea I kept putting on the back burner. I kept telling myself, “I’ll start that when I have more time.” Well, I’ve realized I’m not going to have more time, magically. I have to JUST START. 

I’ve gone into this new project with a clear plan in place, which hasn’t been my approach in the past. My plan is to write 5,000 words per week. If they happen all in one day, great. If they are spread throughout the week, great. I don’t always know when I’ll have the opportunity to write. Sometimes, my daughter wakes up at 5am, and my writing time is gone; sometimes, she sleeps until 7:30am and I get in 1,000 words. For the most part, I get my 5,000 words done between Monday and Friday, usually in the morning, sometimes in the evenings. I don’t write on weekends (so I can sleep in and maximize family time). My daughter is not a great napper (last weekend, I drove her around for 2 hours to get her to nap–fun!) so I don’t get nap-time writing sessions.  Even with restrictions, the plan is working so far.

Generally, my books are somewhere around 90,000 words, so if I keep to the plan, I should have a first draft done by late October, in time for my 40th birthday! It’s all coming together, people! If you’re thinking this sounds very methodical, IT IS. I don’t think I’ll always write this way, but it’s what works for now.

Oh, and the elephant in the room: What is the new novel about? I am terrible at explaining stories when I’m in the thick of them. What I can tell you is that it’s a story involving multiple perspectives (similar to TINY). There’s a little bit of mystery, a lot of drama, some doses of humor. How’s that for a vague answer? 

Lastly, thanks to everyone who has read TINY. I’ve received some great messages from readers. They really make my day. Thank you!

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TINY happenings

I’m back home after my first TINY event at Rediscovered Books in Boise. Thank you to everyone who came out. It was a good time! I love, love, love talking with readers. I could talk books all day, every day.

My next event is at Newport Beach Public Library this Saturday at 3pm. Hope to see you there.

Here are some launch week links you may want to check out:

Literary Hub: Kim Hooper on the Heavy Toll of Miscarriage on a Marriage

Electric Literature: 7 Weirdest Houses in Literature

Idaho Press: “Big Emotions Can Come From Something Tiny”–interview with Jeanne Huff

Having Read That: Interview with Brian Vakulskas (podcast)

Necessary Fiction: Research Notes

Orange County Readers: Interview with Jaymi Couch

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TINY is here!

Go order it so we can talk about it! That’s why I write, after all. Writing is the introvert’s best way to communicate.

Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Target

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And the winners are…

My daughter selected 2 names out of a hat this morning! I’ll be sending you your copies of TINY tomorrow. Thanks for playing, everyone!

Watch the video of the drawing on my Instagram page.

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It’s TINY month!

Well, time has flown and it’s already June! TINY comes out in just 11 days. To celebrate, I’m giving away 2 copies of the book. To enter the drawing, send me an email (kimhooperwrites@gmail.com) or leave a comment here. My daughter will pick 2 names out of a hat next week (I’ll take a video). Happy reading!

If you’re not a winner, you can order the book at all the usual places. Here are some links for you:

Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Target

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Catching up

Here’s a glimpse into some recent (and upcoming) happenings!

This past weekend, I was honored to be a speaker at the AAUW Author Luncheon in Seal Beach. These types of events are always great because I get to 1) meet other authors (Hollie Overton and Matt Coyle were also there), and 2) interact with readers. Hollie and Matt were hilarious, and the audience had some great questions. 

Side note: This year, the AAUW is celebrating the 100th anniversary of the 19th amendment. It’s so hard to believe that women voting is a fairly recent practice in the grand scheme of things. 

I’ve done a couple fun interviews:

Washington Independent Review of Books (Adriana Delgado)
Book Club Babble (Maribel Garcia)

Another side note: I highly recommend Maribel Garcia’s book, Profound and Perfect Things. It comes out next month!

I’ve been on a roll with good reads. Here are a few I’ve loved lately:

A Woman Is No Man by Etaf Rum
Daisy Jones & The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid
The Editor by Steven Rowley
No Happy Endings: A Memoir by Nora McInerney

I have some exciting things coming up:

Tiny comes out on June 11!

I’ll be at Rediscovered Books in Boise on June 13.

I’ll be celebrating Tiny and kicking off the Summer Reading Program at the Newport Beach Public Library on June 22.

That’s all for now!

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A Room of One’s Own

Two weeks ago, my little family moved into a new house. Actually, it was a construction zone at the time we moved in, but it’s starting to feel like a home.

One of my first priorities after setting up my daughter’s room was my office. Yes, my very own office! In our previous house, my husband and I shared an office, our two desks crammed together, one of us annoyed at all times. This new space of my own feels so luxurious. Technically, it doubles as a guest bedroom, but the only occupant of the bed so far has been the cat. He doesn’t bother me.

I’ve been so busy with getting the new house organized (and safe…our baby has become a toddler) that I haven’t had much time to actually sit at my desk and write. I did some final edits for TINY the other day (it comes out in exactly 3 months!), and I felt so happy just staring out the window. Tomorrow, I go back to my full-time job after taking 2 weeks off, so it will be a while before I have more time in my little office. But at least I know it’s here. At least I can daydream about it.

All this got me curious about famous writers’ work spaces. I found some cool photos online. Here are my favorites (sourced from here):

Anne Sexton



Dylan Thomas



Ernest Hemingway



George Bernard Shaw



George Plimpton



Henry Miller



James Patterson



Joan Didion and John Gregory Dunne



Kurt Vonnegut



Margaret Mitchell



Simone de Beauvoir



Stephen King



Susan Sontag



Virginia Woolf

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The importance of quiet time

Me, staring out a window in Japan.

I’ve had a Post-It in my day planner for at least 3 weeks that says, “Write blog post about quiet time.” Ironically, I have not had enough quiet time to actually write a blog post about quiet time. This is…troubling. And, according to Alan Lightman, a physicist and writer, it’s a sign of the times.

In a TED-Ed post entitled “Why We Owe It to Ourselves to Spend Quiet Time Alone Every Day,” Lightman says: 

“The loss of slowness, of time for reflection and contemplation, of privacy and solitude, of silence, of the ability to sit quietly in a chair for fifteen minutes without external stimulation — all have happened quickly and almost invisibly…

The situation is dire. Just as with global warming, we may already be near the point of no return. Invisibly, almost without notice, we are losing ourselves. We are losing our ability to know who we are and what is important to us. We are creating a global machine in which each of us is a mindless and reflexive cog, relentlessly driven by the speed, noise, and artificial urgency of the wired world.”

Lightman likens this destruction of quiet time to global warming, thereby putting it in the category of Modern-Day Catastrophes. He puts into words what’s been nagging at me for several years now. I’ve been aware of this loss of quiet time; I just wasn’t able to articulate my concerns as eloquently as Lightman.

Recently, I’ve started paying attention to the weekly notifications on my phone that report my screen time. The first one I saw said, “1 hour and 45 minutes,” and I thought, “Oh, that’s not bad.” I thought it was for the whole week. That was my daily average. Meaning, per week, I spend roughly 14 hours on my phone. 14 HOURS!

What did I used to do with those hours before smart phones? It’s hard to remember. I know I read more. I always had a book with me. Now, if I’m waiting for an appointment or whatever, I scroll through social media. I’ve been making a point of putting a book back in my purse.

I’m sure I wrote more, too. Or at least wrote with more concentration and fewer distractions. My writing process has become very…piecemeal. A paragraph here and there. I rarely get the hours of flow that I used to love. I mean, I have a kid, so that’s a big part of it. But changes in society are a big part of it, too. There is so much distraction and so much urgency now. There are multiple news cycles per day, making you feel like you’re missing out if you’re not constantly refreshing CNN.com. Most of us are bombarded with hundreds of Facebook and Instagram posts per day. Text messages pop up all the time. The workplace is run by emails (I was away from my computer for an hour the other day and came back to 60 emails in my inbox). It’s impossible to keep up, but we try, and in doing so, we sacrifice any quiet time.

I do not like this. For obvious reasons. I’m a writer. I need quiet time. I need it not just to produce stories, but for my sanity. I’m also a reader. I don’t think anything quite compares to sitting down with a book (or an e-reader, if you like). It requires a dedicated effort. It requires closing the door on a thousand other things you could be doing. That choice is so indulgent and empowering and amazing.

I admit that I’ve been listening to more and more books in recent years, because then I’m killing 2 proverbial birds with 1 stone. Our modern world mandates efficiency and I’ve taken that to heart without even realizing it. With audio books, I can go for a run and “read.” I can drive to work and “read.” To me, this doesn’t count as “quiet time.” This is more “filling time,” another example of how technology has made us all addicted to being stimulated every moment of the day. That said, I enjoy listening to books, so I’ll still do it. But I don’t ever want to give up the time I spend just reading either. 

Now that I have a kid, I think a lot about how younger generations are growing up and what they consider “normal.” Will my daughter even enjoy quiet time? Or will it be totally odd to her because she was born into a world of constant noise? Is the desire for quiet time innate in us as humans? If it is, how do we encourage young people to carve out that time for themselves? What’s the risk if we don’t–an epidemic of depression and anxiety? 

I know, for me, quiet time is absolutely necessary. I’m a classic introvert. I get incredibly anxious if I don’t have time to organize my thoughts and just be. And, seeing how I’ve given up quiet time almost without realizing (to the tune of 14 hours a week), I’m making more of an effort to get it back. I told a friend a little while ago, “I feel like I have no internal life anymore.” I often say I’m “stressed” or “feeling scattered.” For me, this is all symptomatic of not having enough quiet time, so I’ll see if things improve as I reclaim some.

Beyond myself, I would argue that quiet time is necessary for all of us. All of us can benefit from setting time aside to think, to “know who we are and what is important to us,” as Lightman says. Otherwise, we’re just clicking and tapping and reacting to the thousands of stimuli we receive every day. And that can’t be good, right?

How important is quiet time to you? What are your tips for maintaining quiet time in today’s world? 

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Book #3: Coming this June!

I’m so excited to announce that my third book, Tiny, will be published by Turner on June 11. You can pre-order it now.

A brief synopsis:

Nate and Annie Forester are faced with every parent’s worst nightmare when their three-year-old daughter, Penelope, is hit by a car right before their eyes. In the aftermath of her death, the distance between them grows. Nate just wants to move on and return to some version of normal, while Annie finds herself stuck in the quicksand of her grief.

Josh, 22 years old – third party to the nightmare – was behind the wheel on the fateful day Penny ran into the middle of the street. Unable to stop thinking about Nate and Annie, Josh has started to stalk them, thinking up ways to approach them and apologize. One morning, he is sitting in his car, in front of their house, when he sees Annie leave, suitcase in tow. Hours later, he witnesses Nate in a frenzy of worry. His wife has disappeared and he is left only with a vague note.

Tiny follows the harrowing journeys of Nate, Annie, and Josh―three people unwillingly tied together by tragedy. There is Nate, staying strong on the surface, but slowly losing his mind as he faces the suspicions of Annie’s family and the police in the wake of Annie’s disappearance. There is Annie, attempting to start a secret brand new life in a 100-square-foot house in the middle of nowhere. And there is Josh, who desperately wants forgiveness and, ultimately, finds himself responsible for reuniting the people whose lives he changed forever.

The story behind the story
I’ll write a detailed post about what motivated me to write this story but, for now, I’ll just say this is the most personal book I’ve written. For me, the past several years have been a lot about navigating grief, and writing has been my savior. More soon… 

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