Julie A. Fast's Blog, page 49

Bipolar Disorder and Sleep:Euphoric Mania vs. Insomnia

People with insomnia count sheep. People with mania draw sheep and make a collage!

Manic sleeping problems are different from insomnia in many ways-

with insomnia you’re tired, you want to sleep, you toss and turn, you

worry about how worn out you will be in the morning and you often want

medication relief.

I need a Tylenol PM!

With euphoric mania- Whew! You want to stay up, you’re wide awake and doing

something creative. You have unlimited energy, a racing mind, and rapid

body movements. You have no desire to get in bed and sleeping feels like a

total waste of time. When the euphoria gets too high, it takes a lot of

psychiatric medication to get to sleep (and you definitely don’t want to

take them and wreck your buzz!) and there is a chance you will be wide

awake and even more manic the next day…….

Here are some of the things you may think when you’re manic at night:

- Sleep is SUCH a waste of time. I am so much more productive now.

- It’s only 1:00 AM. I could go to the grocery store right now!

- The tile really needs to come up in the bathroom.

- I have not had sex in a long time and tonight is the night. Watch out!

These manic thoughts can be funny- but many people act on them. When you have insomnia, you just lie in bed and punch your pillow and wish you could just get some sleep so you won’t be tired the next day. It never feels good.

Euphoric mania feels good.

If you’re on the outside of this mania looking in, it’s very important to know that the manic brain is not really hearing you. It’s hearing that you want to ruin its FUN. The manic person can get very angry and say, “I’m not manic! I’m just finally feeling better! Why burst my bubble!!!” Mania is definitely treatable- but out of all of the mood swings, mania needs an aggressive prevention plan. It’s just too dangerous if it goes too far.

Like many people, my euphoric mania focuses on money, men, alcohol and travel. I never want to sleep when I get this way- interestingly, all of the items on that list are dangerous when it’s late at night!

Tips:

1. Monitor your sleep. If you have been manic before,what were the signs? The minute you notice these signs, take action and get help.

2. Ask others to be honest and tell you if they think you are manic. Deal with the anger you will feel and get help.

3. If you care about someone with bipolar disorder, use the Health Cards to create a plan. Trying to talk to someone who denies mania or who is manic is basically impossible. The best plan is to plan ahead with a plan!

The next time I am lying in bed with eyes wide open, I hope it’s insomnia. It’s much safer.

Julie

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Published on July 06, 2014 00:01

Selfie with my Nephew David

With my nephew David. The joy of my life and one reason I’ve survived all these years. Having a young person in my life changed me profoundly. During the deepest, darkest suicidal moments I always had the strong feeling that staying alive was a profound way of honoring David. He knows what he means to me in his 12 year old mind. I doubt he’ll ever know what affect he has had on my work and my life! Lucky me! Julie

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Published on July 03, 2014 19:53

July 4th Holiday Bipolar Blues (but not in 2014!)

Blog From 2009: (I’m receiving comments asking if this is an old blog- nope! It’s new- my goal was to show you that I wrote the same thing in 2009 that I would write today in terms of holidays and bipolar disorder. I’ve learned that holidays are not for me in many ways, so I simply skip the ones I find stressful. I’ll be watching the World Cup on this holiday, so it’s a lot less stress this year!- here’s the post from a few years ago- but the sentiment remains the same. )

I am constantly astonished at how much trouble I have with holidays! It’s never ending. Yesterday was Independence Day here in the states. We do some major celebrating on that day. The weather was gorgeous here in Portland, Oregon. I go to a party every year on this day. I went yesterday as well. I was pretty depressed though- and all I could think of was how other people were at better parties- and that I never get to go to cool parties. Etc. This was absolutely ridiculous as I was with friends!

If you look at the other holiday posts on this blog, you will see similar thoughts. Something about the holidays brings out the bipolar symptoms in full force. It’s the pressure of having to have a good time. Last year I went to see friends for the New Year and my birthday and it helped a lot! I always try to learn from my past in terms of staying well- for next year I know that I need to have more than one plan for the 4th. Maybe a few parties to go to where I can pick and choose. Or maybe I can just to go another country. ha ha.

**

I am planning now for my summer holiday plans. It’s ridiculous that I have to do this and people laugh at me- but it’s just the bipolar!

I know this is a very premature question- but do you have plans in mind for the July 4th?

Julie

PS: 2014. My nephew David- who is 12- asked me to go to the fireworks with him on the 4th. I am so happy he wants to be with me! I explained that in terms of my bipolar, the crowds, the late night and especially the noise from the actual fireworks! He understands. Bipolar takes stuff from us, but over time, you learn what you can and can’t do and it gets SO much easier!

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Published on July 02, 2014 00:31

World Cup Brazil 2014. I’m able to work at a regular job.. sort of, but it’s still awesome!

I’m doing the social media marketing for Beulahland, my local soccer pub. I traded a table and food for my social media skills and I’ve finally figured out how to do the work without getting sick.

1. I have to get to bed early.

2. If I let myself work too long on a creative project, I will get hypomania.

3. I can’t put my name on things. The more anonymous I remain, the better my OCD and paranoia.

4. I can handle crowds if I’m the one in control of the situation. Such as running a raffle that already has 2000k tickets!

Here is some of my work. I love to make post cards and come up with fun raffle prizes. My goal is to do a soccer pub quiz. That will happen when my sleep is regulated! Overall, it has been amazing.

In the past two weeks, I’ve dealt with paranoia, trouble sleeping, hypomania and the feeling that I’m getting too creative, but I’m keeping it together and all is well.

Work and bipolar …. what a topic. We can make work work for us! What success have you had with your work?

Julie

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Published on June 28, 2014 22:20

Reader Question: Julie, Do You Sell eBooks?

I just received a question from Michael asking- Do your books come in ebook format?

Hi Michael,

I started my career with ebooks. My Health Cards Treatment Plan for Bipolar Disorder and my books Tips for Talking with Health Care Professionals and Bipolar Happens are available in ebook form. Click here to visit my original website. The Health Cards are only available off this site.

My books Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder and Get it Done When You’re Depressed were all traditionally published as paperbacks. They are also available in ebook form for the Kindle.

My book Bipolar Happens! is available on the Kindle for just .99 Click here to read more about Bipolar Happens! on the Kindle.

Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder and Get it Done When You’re Depressed are in the library. If they are not in the library in your area, you can request that they purchase copies. You can even get them on loan as eBooks.

I love the immediacy with ebooks. Especially when you’re in a crisis or need more information about bipolar disorder as quickly as possible. I’ve also found that people like the privacy of eBooks. Especially teenagers.

Julie

Here are my KindleBooks:

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Published on June 26, 2014 00:24

Sherry Joiner author of Sherry Goes Sane: Living a Life with Schizoaffective Disorder

I love to share mental health books that are well written, life changing and ultimately life affirming. Sherry Goes Sane: Living a Life with Schizo-Affective Disorder is one of these books.

What amazes me about Sherry- and I know you will feel the same when you read her incredible book- is that she has been through SO much and yet still manages to be a positive and loving force in the world. Sherry Goes Sane is a truly artistic book written in what I call a kaleidoscope writing style. It’s very James Joycian. You can visit amazon.com to read more about Sherry Goes Sane.

I’ve read Sherry’s book twice. The first time I didn’t know her well. Now, a few years later, she is one of my most trusted and closest friends. She is who I call when I feel too sick to call anyone!

Here is an article Sherry wrote about Schizoaffective Disorder for SelfGrowth.com.

When you visit Sherry’s website, you will see that she is having a contest where you can win one of her paintings. And wow, she is a beautiful painter. I own three of her paintings.

Here is a picture of Sherry holding a picture she painted of a younger me! I’m lucky to know her.. Julie

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Published on June 25, 2014 18:16

Depressed? It’s ok to hide it sometimes….but you can still have a good time.

I know, it’s darn hard to hide depression sometimes- but you have to learn to do it. Here’s a journal entry from a few years ago.

I am in Michigan visiting my dad. My nephew is here. I’ve had a wonderful time in many ways. Unfortunately, yesterday was not so wonderful depression wise as I was down for most of the day. In the past, that would have affected my behavior- which means I would be a downer for the people around me.

I don’t allow that any more. I was able to function- have some fun- eat a great meal- play dominoes with my dad and nephew- even when the thoughts were raging. I just have to let them sit there in the background like the demons they are. I hate this illness so much, but I’ve learned that I don’t have to feel good in order to have a good time. I acted like I was ok- and now I have a good memory of our time hanging out instead of the feeling of loss I would have had if I had acted depressed.

Depression is selfish- it wants to be the center of attention. That is our reality. I get jealous when I see others who have lives free of depression. I wish- with all of my heart that I could be like them. I’m not- that’s for sure- but I can act like them when needed. It helps me feel a lot better as well.

Julie

I just received this comment from April:

When I first start feeling bad, I really try to fight it and I try to put on a bright smile on my face and maintain a positive attitude, while saving the crying spells for the car. Now, I go to the psychiatrist for a med change or adjustment. If I keep hiding behind smiles while depression takes over I get severely suicidal and end up in hospitaL. This is something I am trying to avoid. As I get older,the depression gets worse and worse. Be sureeyou get help right away. I am so sick and tired of this disease.

My reply:

Hi April,

Thank you for your comment. I realize I was not clear enough in my post. I was talking about mild to moderate depression. I agree that if it’s serious, you cannot just hide it and get on. I am talking about the kind where everything just seems worthless and awful- and you feel your life is pointless, but are still functioning. I am glad you made the distinction. If I am crying a lot or get catatonic, I know something has triggered it or my meds are off and just acting like I’m ok is not enough! I am sick and very tired of bipolar as well, but it can be managed!

Julie

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Published on June 25, 2014 00:57

If It’s 10PM, I’m in my room getting ready to go to bed…

Oh my, the socialite has changed. That’s me. I made two huge goals this year regarding health and wealth. They take a great deal of concentration, planning and wellness. To stay well enough to work the 20-25 hours a week I know I’m capable of working, I had to make great changes- in many ways they require a lot of sacrifice. Here are a few…

I go home early instead of hanging out, talking and drinking with friends. I’m home by 10PM on most nights and try to have lights out by midnight. This is hard when I get slightly manic, but I still make myself get in bed. I always need sleep meds, but they work a LOT better if I take care of my ‘sleep hygiene’ first!
I can’t listen to anything too stimulating before bed such as loud music, conversations, DVD’s etc. I listen to calm sports radio shows or Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me from National Public Radio here in the States. I know that if I go to karaoke and stay past 11, I will have trouble getting to sleep. It’s fine to hit karaoke once or twice a week, but more than that messes up my schedule!

It’s not as boring as it may sound. I still go out at night- I just don’t stay out late and I’m always sure to hang out with people who make me feel GOOD about myself!

How do you manage your sleep?

julie

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Published on June 24, 2014 15:11

A great question from Marie’s comments on mania…

Marie just left a comment on a mania post. It was very insightful and helpful.

And… she asked this question- it REALLY made me think. She said….

I would like to have one really good healthy day in which I did not question myself! How about you?

At first, my answer was- oh yes! Just one day this week! Then I had another thought- it’s rather esoteric.

This illness stinks. It has been terrible for me this week and it may be terrible today- luckily I woke up pretty stable- but overall, I am a different person because of this illness.

I have to manage bipolar disorder 24 hours a day in order to stay stable. I watch what I say, do and really try to counteract what I think when I’m sick. This makes me a better friend, partner, daughter, student, teacher, etc.

We have to be more aware when we have bipolar disorder – which means we can be more aware of the people around us. Most people aren’t like this. They are just living life (lucky!) – but we have to examine our lives continually in order to stay well. We might as well make the most of it.

Julie

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Published on June 24, 2014 00:57

Bipolar Disorder Triggers: Know When to Quit What is Making You Sick

Bipolar disorder is so easily triggered. It’s a bad illness that way- even the things we look forward to can cause us trouble.

Over the years I’ve learned there are just some situations- no matter how successful or fun they are- that I just can’t do.

A friend of mine with bipolar disorder once took a math class that was very stressful. She got quite sick from the class. When I – and a few others suggested she quit the class, she said, “I’m not a quitter Julie! I have stopped so many things because of bipolar. I just want to finish something!”

I said, “There is a big difference between ‘quitting’ from laziness or lack of attention to the topic- and the quitting that comes from taking care of yourself.”

She quit the class and was better immediately. The daily stress of the difficult math was too much for her bipolar brain. It wasn’t too much for her! She is an excellent and committed student. It was simply too much for her brain.

I know when to quit- though it upsets me a lot. Quitting because something is making me sick is admirable, not something to be ashamed of. I have to remind myself of this quite often.

julie

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Published on June 21, 2014 00:41