Julie A. Fast's Blog, page 18

You are the Bipolar Detective! Take Charge of Your Life!

 

I love it when people disagree with me and leave an opinion as to why. It means we are thinking about our #bipolar and how we want to get treatment. There are many brilliant thinkers in the world whom I disagree with- this doesn’t make them wrong.


 


It simply makes us different. I want YOU to think about your bipolar. Why do you have it?


 


Do you believe in reincarnation for example and feel that bipolar is karma? If so, this is then your path for treatment. Work in the Buddhist world to smooth out your karma. I am serious about this.


 


My path is what I teach. I am not the be all and end all. I simply want you to TAKE CHARGE of this rotten illness and THINK about what it means to have bipolar. Then, you are on the path to getting better. You are the detective. You have the power. You can do this.


 


I only ask one thing. Don’t try to change anyone to your opinion. Talk about yourself and your beliefs and why you disagree with me, but let’s be respectful and let others be who they are. This is why I never tell someone that they can’t use cannabis. That is not my job. People with bipolar can get high all day if they want! I used to do it. I’m not judging.


 


I can give an opinion based off of myself and thousands of experiences with clients over the past 20 years and then, a person can use this or not use it.


 


No one is right and no one is wrong. Let’s exist peacefully and find the individual path to stability by being kind and passionate without judgement or trying to change the mind of others.


 


And if you have read this far, I have a message for you. People who seek information like yourself will get better. You are on a path to health. Keep going. You are wonderful and I believe in you.


 


Julie

 

 

Related posts:
Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder
How do you get someone in your life to accept help for a mental health disorder?
The Path to Happiness when You Have Bipolar Disorder

What Does Bipolar Mania Sound Like?

 

Mania creates physical changes in the eyes and body, as seen in my manic photo shoot above.  Looking for and writing down what we say is just as important if we want to manage these often out of control mood swings.


What bipolar mania sounds like: 




“I’m cured! I finally feel like the real me! I’ve been living in a box all of my life and now the constraints are off and the chains of that depression are gone and I’m back! I’m alive and bursting with the real energy I knew was inside of me all along!


 


Life is going to be so much better now! I knew that depression was not the real me. This is the real me! I just feel so fantastic! I can’t believe that I’ve lived in the dark for so long. I am now living the light! I feel wonderful!”


 


This way of talking with be accompanied with some or all of the following symptoms:


 


1. Sleeping a lot less, but not being tired the next day.


2. More talk of goals and getting things done quickly. Super focused on projects and getting to work on them immediately.


3. Rapid speech, also called pressured speech.


4. Inability to see the consequences of current behavior involving shopping, sex, work due, the feelings of others.


 


Are you manic? Is someone you love manic?


 Julie


 


PS: The words above are directly from my life when I was given Zoloft for depression in 1995. I then went into a very serious, suicidal depression and was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder a month later. For the two months before this diagnosis, I was traveling in China! I now use my Health Cards to manage my mania. It’s never easy, but it’s possible. 


Further resources:

Bipolar Mania: Am I having too much fun?

What I’ve Learned from Being Tricked by Bipolar Mania. 

Related posts:
Bipolar Mania: What is Pressured Speech?
BP Magazine Blog: What Does Bipolar Mania Sound Like?
What if Excitement Leads to Bipolar Mania?

When a Partner with Bipolar Leaves the Home

Advice for when a partner leaves during an episode.


 


1. Know that this is normal. We flee we manic. We flee when the depression is too strong for us to stay in the same place. We flee when we can’t manage our emotions. This doesn’t make it ok or make it any less scary for you, but knowing that it’s not ABOUT YOU is essential.


 


Here is more info on dysphoric mania- one of the main episodes that makes us flee:

Dysphoric mania. I’ve got to get out of here! I hate my life!

 What are the Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder Dysphoric Mania?





 


2. Start NOW with your ‘thinks, says, does’ list for the current mood swing. This is explained in all of my books and is very specially detailed in the article below. The article was for a different audience that partners, but it will work for you just as well. All symptom information is gold when it comes to getting a partner treatment in the future.

When Your Child Needs A Therapist: How To Effectively Report Symptoms

 


3. Take care of children who are home by explaining bipolar in an age appropriate way. This is simply an illness. Kids who can talk can understand bipolar. Here is an article on how I talk with kids about bipolar.

3 Strategies to Talk With Kids About Suicidal Thoughts

 


4. Create a plan for you. When a partner leaves and you know it is bipolar related, this means the person will go back to baseline eventually and see the damage they have caused. You need to be ready for this. Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder is a good place to start.




 


5. Work with a health care team. Create a full symptom list so that this doesn’t go so far in the future. Avoid the Bipolar Conversation. Read over my past posts and get clear on your needs. Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder has more information on the Bipolar Conversation.


6. Join me on The Stable Bed. This is my private Facebook group for partners of people with disorder.

 


Julie


Ps: I highly recommend a hard copy subscription to Bp Magazine. It has a lot of information that is not available on the website.  


 

Related posts:
Bipolar Family and Partner Coaching
Partner of a Person with Bipolar Disorder?
Does Your Partner Have Bipolar Disorder?

Book Review for Bipolar Disorder: My Biggest Competitor by Amy Gamble

by David Fast

David Fast is the 16 year old nephew of Julie A. Fast. He reviews books on bipolar disorder from a teenage perspective. 

Bipolar Disorder – My Biggest Competitor:  An Olympian’s Journey with Mental Illness

Amy Gamble has led a successful life. She has been an Olympic basketball player, an employee for a major pharmaceutical company and an author. She has been able to do all these things while dealing with bipolar. But none of this came easily. Bipolar was the most difficult obstacle in her life, getting her off track and leading to major problems that make her accomplishments even more amazing.

As the book title suggests, bipolar has been a greater adversary than any team she could have played in the Olympics.

Amy’s book documents her journey with great detail. When she had control of bipolar she went to great places, and is currently doing very well. Yet when she went off her meds there were serious repercussions, especially from mania.

Lost and Found in the Wilderness

“It was night by the time I’d wandered my way around the mountainside and down what I later learned was a dirt road. I thought if I went down to the stream, I might find a forest ranger’s office. But when the sun came up, I was spiraling into a web of mental confusion. I had been an avid hiker and backpacker for years, and I had some natural survival skills, and my instincts were telling me to keep moving because if I stopped I would freeze to death.”

Amy was lost for three days.

When I read Amy’s book, I saw a lot of similarities to my aunt. If Julie were in the same situation, she would have done the same thing. Julie gets super manic and depressed and it affects her life. I see the same behavior in Amy. It shows that this is a somewhat common thing that Julie and Amy get sick like this. It’s a chemical imbalance in the brain due to bipolar.  Amy got a letter from her mom that said, “It’s ok to have this illness. You have to admit you have it to get help.” It took Amy a long time to listen to this. It was a struggle so many people with bipolar go through.

Until she was able to listen and get the help she needed, she ended up in jail and in psych facilities repeatedly.  This part of the book was most interesting. You got to see inside the manic episode and what it was like for the person going through it.

I liked the details in this book. It feels like she is not hiding anything. It felt very real and it taught me more about how bipolar is just something that happens and whether you’re an author or basketball player or painter, it’s a common thing and a lot of people have it. If there were not so much of a stigma, more people would get help. Amy’s book helps people who don’t have bipolar really understand what people go through.

As she explains in the book, Amy now has a plan to keep herself out of these situations and on her meds, and now has control of her bipolar. I believe her book is a great view into her life and her battle with bipolar, and a motivational influence for those who strive to be the victor of their own life.

I recommend the book for teens who are already interested in bipolar and adults who want a good read.

Click here to read more about Amy’s book on Amazon.

David

 

 

Related posts:
Book Review for To Pieces, a Novel about Teenage Bipolar by Kati Rocky
A Great Bipolar Book! You, Me and Apollo
Write Your Bipolar Disorder Self Help Book!

Bipolar Disorder and the Thanksgiving Holiday part two…….

Continued from Thanksgiving part one…..

 

My friend Margery who has bipolar disorder just called and told me that her sister has decided to come down to Portland where she lives instead of staying in Seattle.  Margery said, “I cooked her dinner a few years ago, Julie. I’m not spending days cooking for something that is gone in a few hours. It’s too stressful!” I agree. Margery just reserved a full Thanksgiving dinner from Whole foods.  She picks it up Thanksgiving  morning! She said it was so cheap when everyone went in on it.  These stores have great and inexpensive salad bars as well. 

Good idea:  Say no to cooking if it’s too much for you. Let others do it or buy dinner from a store and bring it home.  Or, eat out!

I’d like to say I’m immune to the whole Thanksgiving thing- but I’m not. I have to make sure I have something to do that day or I know I will get depressed and lonely.  It’s my nature. The concept of Thanksgiving has been burned into my American brain.  My dinners were so wonderful as a child- that is what I remember.

Here are some tips if Thanksgiving is important to you:

1. Plan now. Where do you want to be? Start hinting to the people you know that you would be a good addition to the party.

2. Send out an email to friends saying you are looking for a fun dinner. You will get replies. Yes, you can do this the day before Thanksgiving. 

3. Volunteer for the day. Many people do this and you meet new friends.

4. Crash a party!

5. Go to Target to check out the Black Friday specials. Oh – this just sounds terrible…  but people love it! Buy a TV the next day!

Julie A. Fast Official Diagnosis… it’s more than bipolar disorder!

If you are new to my work- here is my official diagnosis. I find it helpful to have a diagnosis and know for sure that hearing the words, “You have bipolar disorder,” saved my life.


 


1. Diagnosed with depression in my 20s. First major depressive episode was at 19. No one ever talked to me about mania, so it was completely missed. My mania started at 17.


 


2. Officially diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar two with psychotic features in 1995. This was one year after my then partner was diagnosed with bipolar disorder one. We were together for ten years as a couple. I wrote Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder about being a parter of this wonderful man for ten years.


 


3. I started to chart my moods as soon as I was officially diagnosed. I realized that I didn’t have rapid cycling. I had ultradian rapid cycling -a term that wasn’t used back then. I cycle every day sometimes all day and it has been this way for all of my adult life with only a few breaks.


 


4. I then got clear about psychosis and through charting and writing down my symptoms realized that I had WAY, WAY more psychosis that the average person and in fact, started my mental health symptoms with psychosis at age 16. I figured out that I have a separate psychotic disorder as well as bipolar. My office diagnosis is schizoaffective. In my opinion, there is no such thing as bipolar with psychotic features. What we actually have is schizo affective. I am NOT scared of the words schizo or schizophrenia. I am definitely on the schizophrenia spectrum which is why using THC from cannabis was extremely dangerous for my brain.


 


5. I had a biking accident in 2012 that resulted in a serious right brain injury that led to vicious panic attacks and an increase in my anxiety. I now deal with a separate set of anxiety symptoms.


 


My books teach us to chart our mood swings and to write down our symptoms. No one can really do this for us. We need to do it for ourselves. Otherwise, we can’t get better.


 


Julie


 


This is me at 16. The year my psychosis began. Unless we are really sick, there is no indication of what is going on in our minds. We MUST chart our experiences and share them with people who can help.

Related posts:
My Bipolar Disorder Diagnosis Set Me Free
Halleluiah, I am not sick at this moment… but….
Is bipolar disorder illness really REAL? I ask myself this all of the time.

I’m Glad that Weekend is OVER!

A blast from the past. I wrote this blog many years ago and just found it in my draft section. I wonder what I will learn about myself by reading something from so long ago!  I will report back at the end of this post what has changed for the better! 

****

There are always good things that happen over the weekend- seeing friends, some sun- reading books with my nephew. I try to focus on the good things first.

But man oh man, the depression was terrible. This word comes to mind: relentless!

It was relentless. But here I am on a Monday ready to face the world again. I made sure I had a lot of plans this week. The publishing world- which is a large part of my business these days is changing and not in a good way. I have to rethink my goals for this year. This is definitely possible, but it puts added pressure on my health. So, the only way to deal with this is to work- plan and remain positive. Change is an opportunity for a new and better direction. I truly believe that getting things done is the answer.

If you have lost a job- are worried about money or feel that things will not get better, I suggest the book Think and Go Rich. It was written right after the Great Depression- and it’s truly fascinating to read. I feel so much better when I read it! We can all make it through tough times. How are you doing? Do you have fun and productive activities scheduled for this week? Is there something you have been meaning to do such as joining Toastmasters or taking a dance class? Now is the time to do what we have always wanted to do.

We can march onward- even when we are depressed!

Julie

PS: Watch out for mania! That is my motto.

A note from Julie, present day: It is so wonderful to tell you the news that I no longer have chronic depression. I was ill with bipolar depression for over 30 years off and on. In 2012, I found a medication combination that worked. It has not been easy and I still have a lot of mood swings, but the relentless depression is gone. Never give up. If I can get better, you can get better. I also had ECT in 2010 that was difficult in many ways, but also helpful in many ways.  Keep going if you are depressed. We can get better. I’m proof.  I still have the same work problems- they are always in the picture. I still struggle with mania and sleep, but wow, my depression is better.  It’s important to remind ourselves that with time and vigilance, we can change. I believe in you! 

Related posts:
A Wonderful Weekend Retreat
Thanks Tina Fey (Bossypants) for helping me get through the weekend depression!
200 sign ups this weekend!

Bipolar Disorder and Thanksgiving Part One…………..

 

Let’s Make Thanksgiving Great This Year!

 

 

There is a commercial on the radio where I live here in Portland, Oregon that always makes me laugh. It says… ‘Beware of the holiday horrors! Buy all of your holiday presents now, the day after Thanksgiving and save yourself the stress of waiting until the last minute!”    Oh, it sounds like torture to me! When did Thanksgiving become so much about Black Friday sales? In case you didn’t know, Black Friday is a sales day after the Thursday Thanksgiving here in the United States. It’s called Black Friday because it’s a day businesses can make enough money to balance the books instead of being in the red!

 

As a person with bipolar disorder or a person who cares about someone with the illness, there’s a good chance you have had some difficult holidays in the past.

Thanksgiving is a family holiday based around a traditional dinner held in honor of the dinner served between the people who ‘founded’ the US and the people who found the country way before any British showed up- the Native Americans. The food usually includes the following: Turkey, stuffing or dressing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, pies such as pecan or pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce. Many families have a Thanksgiving dish they remember growing up. For me, it was my grandmother’s homemade corn bread dressing.  I had many wonderful Thanksgiving holidays while growing up – mostly in Alabama.

As I got older, the holidays became a fun time with friends.

And then…. they just became too much.

Is it the same for you? Maybe you don’t want to cook, don’t have the $200 to spend on a dinner for eight. It might be you don’t like your family! And finally, the hardest is when you don’t have anywhere to go. It doesn’t mean you don’t have friends- it might just happen they are all with their families and yours is out of town.

It may be that your family is here, but the atmosphere is stressful. I’ve seen a few snarky faces at Thanksgiving. It’s hard to have to be happy and united for a day.

It’s a lot of pressure.

Start thinking now of what you want your Thanksgiving to be like this year. You get to decide.

Julie

PS:  Thanksgiving can be wonderful, but it’s usually challenging when bipolar disorder is an unwanted guest.   That’s why we have to plan ahead!

Related posts:
Another Thanksgiving Horrors (positive!)holiday comment
Thanksgiving Holiday Horrors Reader Comment
Bipolar Disorder and Holiday Cheer

Bipolar Disorder is Not Pretty

 

This is what a #bipolar looks like. This is what illness looks like. I am not like this when stable. I couldn’t make these faces naturally if I tried.


 


Panic attack #anxiety, #dysphoric #mania, #euphoric mania and extreme #depression. It’s not pretty.


 


When I am sick with bipolar, I must stop everything to end the bipolar before I make ANY decisions.


 


I must stop the bipolar before I get upset by what someone says or does.


 


I must stop the bipolar before I spend money, change my job, leave a new relationship, start a new relationship or make any big life decisions.


 


If you want to get better, treat bipolar first. If you don’t treat bipolar first, the decisions you make when you are this sick can ruin your life in an instant and you will struggle what you once had back.


 


Read Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder first and then move to the Health Cards. If you are a partner, read Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder and then Take Charge. You can also join me on The Stable Bed.


 


If you are a family member, start with Take Charge and move to the Health Cards. Read Loving for more plans. Join me on The Stable Table.


Read Get it Done When You’re Depressed and get yourself or a loved one out of the house and back into the world.

 


I am sick almost every day and I have a strong management plan. Without my plan, I would not be here.


 


Let’s manage this illness together.  Many of my books are in the library and are available used on Amazon. 


 


Julie

Related posts:
No Drama Bipolar Lifestyle
Bipolar Disorder Language is Very Predictable
Bipolar Disorder and Work

Fast Conversation Strategies: What to Say When a Person is Trying to Control You

I choose the stable life….

Strategies from my parent and partner coaching….

When you ask a question or talk about the other person and their answer is about you, learn how to get the conversation back on track by using my Fast Conversation Strategies.

– I like spending time together, but lately I’ve found it hard to get in touch with you.

– Response: Oh, so now you’re my mother?

– It helps me a lot to know when you need me to do the writing on the website. I need a schedule so that I can keep my work in order. I’m a bit confused about the project itself.

– Hmm. I guess it’s all about you these days is it? Can’t you just do what I sent you and let me get my own work done!

I’m worried about your drinking and would like to talk about it.

– You had a glass of wine at dinner the other night, so look who’s talking!

This is all bull@#$@# if you want to know the truth and as soon as you realize that someone is deflecting your genuine worry or desire for information back on you, you can stop it in five seconds.

– I like spending time together, but lately I’ve found it hard to get in touch with you.

– Response: Oh, so now you’re my mother?

– I have no desire to be your mother, but I do like to be around people who are accessible. If this doesn’t work for you, I understand. I will find someone who does answer my calls.

It helps me a lot to know when you need me to do the writing on the website. I need a schedule so that I can keep my work in order. I’m a bit confused about the project itself.

– Hmm. I guess it’s all about you these days is it? Can’t you just do what I sent you and let me get my own work done!

– When it comes to my work, it makes sense for me to have a schedule. My work is important to me and to keep it of high quality, I need better communication and a timeline. If this doesn’t work for your, that is ok. I will find someone who does want to work in this way.

I’m worried about your drinking and would like to talk about it.

– You had a glass of wine at dinner the other night, so look who’s talking!

– If you want to talk about my drinking during a different conversion, that is fine with me. Right now, I am talking about your drinking and how it affects me.

I’ve been a coach for parents and partners for ten years now. The situations I work in are often enormous crises. Super clear communication is always the first step to getting the person who is ill in to treatment.

Coaches are not therapists. My job is to help a loved one learn to communicate with someone who has bipolar. This in turn taught me to communicate with anyone. Sometimes, when a conversation or email exchange happens and I feel that someone is trying to control me, my work or to get me to do more work than I have been paid for for example, I will listen, say nothing and LEAVE. They can finish their own work.

My stability is what matters. I pledge not to harm others. I pledge to listen to others when they need to talk to me. I pledge to be the best person I can be. To do this, I don’t have to put up with the crap of others. I can leave.

Julie

Click here more information on my Coaching for Parents, Family Members and Partners of people with bipolar and schizoaffective disorder. 

Related posts:
Julie A. Fast Family and Partner Coaching: A Conversation with a Worried Mother and a Defiant Daughter pt 1
Julie A. Fast Partner and Family Coaching: A Conversation Between a Worried Mother and Her Defiant Daughter pt. 2
Free Call with Julie: Avoid The Bipolar Conversation.. for Parents, Partners and Health Care Professionals