Imogen Barnacle's Blog
June 16, 2015
Do I want a baby? Todays modern day dilemma
Boarding the Baby Boat - A guide to the Baby Decision
Do I want a baby? Yes.. No… Maybe…
Deciding whether or not to have a baby. The ultimate modern day dilemma.
Not too long ago I was the centre of my own universe. The biggest decision I faced on a weekly basis was deciding whether my wine would be red or white.
However, one warm October’s night, things changed. A seemingly ordinary dinner, all of a sudden left me faced with the ultimate dilemma. I needed to answer a question. A question I thought I knew the answer too. A question I had asked myself a hundred times before…
Did I want to have a baby?
For many women, the decision of whether or not to have a baby is not so much a question of ‘if’ but when. But for many others, myself included it is a back and forth, long drawn out process that rarely ends in a clear cut decision. For many of us, it is not ‘when’ but if…
For generations the decision of whether or not to have a baby was rarely one to be contemplated. Women got married, had children and stayed at home to raise them. However, thanks to women lib, and the introduction of contraception, we have now entered a new era, an era where the idea ‘that just because you can, doesn’t mean you should’. An era where having children is now a major decision in most women’s lives.
Just a couple of years before I started my family, I was confident in my decision to stay child-free. I was 99.9% sure I didn’t want children. But long after I had that magical 35th birthday, a small amount of doubt seeded itself inside my confident stance. Out of nowhere I began quietly wondering if I would regret it if I didn’t have children.
Like many I knew I loved children, but I was certainly not sure I was ready for the sacrifices and lifestyle changes that would come with raising my own. At 35, I knew I had a busy way of life, I knew I was selfish with my time, and I knew I didn’t feel clucky. When the girls at school talked about their futures, they involved family, but for me, my future held something else. It held a life that was going to be mostly all about me.
But, after ‘that’ unexpected chat, the fear of regretting something as significant as not having a family, forced me out of my comfort zone and into a place, where I had to make a real decision. I had to take a real good look at my ‘fors and against‘ list.
Hence my journey to ‘Baby or Not’ began…
Do I want a baby? Yes.. No… Maybe…
Deciding whether or not to have a baby. The ultimate modern day dilemma.
Not too long ago I was the centre of my own universe. The biggest decision I faced on a weekly basis was deciding whether my wine would be red or white.
However, one warm October’s night, things changed. A seemingly ordinary dinner, all of a sudden left me faced with the ultimate dilemma. I needed to answer a question. A question I thought I knew the answer too. A question I had asked myself a hundred times before…
Did I want to have a baby?
For many women, the decision of whether or not to have a baby is not so much a question of ‘if’ but when. But for many others, myself included it is a back and forth, long drawn out process that rarely ends in a clear cut decision. For many of us, it is not ‘when’ but if…
For generations the decision of whether or not to have a baby was rarely one to be contemplated. Women got married, had children and stayed at home to raise them. However, thanks to women lib, and the introduction of contraception, we have now entered a new era, an era where the idea ‘that just because you can, doesn’t mean you should’. An era where having children is now a major decision in most women’s lives.
Just a couple of years before I started my family, I was confident in my decision to stay child-free. I was 99.9% sure I didn’t want children. But long after I had that magical 35th birthday, a small amount of doubt seeded itself inside my confident stance. Out of nowhere I began quietly wondering if I would regret it if I didn’t have children.
Like many I knew I loved children, but I was certainly not sure I was ready for the sacrifices and lifestyle changes that would come with raising my own. At 35, I knew I had a busy way of life, I knew I was selfish with my time, and I knew I didn’t feel clucky. When the girls at school talked about their futures, they involved family, but for me, my future held something else. It held a life that was going to be mostly all about me.
But, after ‘that’ unexpected chat, the fear of regretting something as significant as not having a family, forced me out of my comfort zone and into a place, where I had to make a real decision. I had to take a real good look at my ‘fors and against‘ list.
Hence my journey to ‘Baby or Not’ began…
