Patient Lee's Blog, page 9
July 30, 2015
Review: Walk on the Wild Side by Suzie Jay
Walk on the Wild Side: The Reinvention of Violet Monte by Suzie JayMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Walk on the Wild Side is a quirky, fun read.
Violet devoted her life to loving one man, and he betrayed her. In her search for her life's purpose, she takes a trip, tries her hand at being a detective, starts a business, meets an interesting friend, finds a fabulous apartment, and meets a new man.
Suzie Jay tells the story from Violet's point of view, allowing the reader to connect with her quirky personality and her sometimes crazy plans. This book was a pleasure to read.
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July 14, 2015
Review: Donut Slut by Bryce Calderwood
Donut Slut!: Ariana's Cream-Filled Magical Sex Adventure by Bryce CalderwoodMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Before you read this book, be sure to watch the video of Ariana Grande licking the doughnuts in the bakery. This ridiculous behavior was screaming out for somebody to write a silly story, and Bryce Calderwood did.
The story is funny and whimsical, especially in light of Ms. Grande's stunt. If it weren't based on this touch of reality, I would not have thought the story so clever. Calderwood gripped the real-world drama by the sprinkles, and crafted something funny and delicious.
The story features Ariana Venti, who tempts fate by ringing a bell in a bakery in spite of written instructions not to. The result is a hilarious limo ride with talking, fucking doughnuts. Calderwood walks the fine line between parody and the ridiculous, and does it with finesse. With the exception of pastry fetishists, readers will not find the story particularly arousing, but it is certainly entertaining.
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Review: Patti Kake- Something Different
Something New by Patti KakeMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
Very hot. I love college roommate stories, especially lesbian stories. In this story, Janie wants a guy who is out of her league. Delilah convinces Janie that she can give her the experience she needs to get the guy.
Except they both get hung up on each other and the pleasure to be found between two women. This college roommate story is particularly steamy with tons of hot, lesbian sex. I love that.
What keeps me from awarding the extra star is 1) Mechanics. There are some wonky comma issues- Run on sentences, commas where they don't belong, commas needed where they don't exist. 2) Repetition. Sometimes there's a little too much. 3) Names vs. descriptions. It would make for a smoother read if you say things like "the blond did such and such" or "the skinny girl did..." It would keep you from repeating their names over and over. It's tough when the characters are the same gender. It's easy to confuse pronouns. Giving some descriptive phrases helps.
I enjoyed this a lot. I look forward to watching your writing grow. (You'll be surprised how quickly that happens!) Excellent work, Patti Kake!
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Review: Gathering Clouds by Sandra S. Kerns
Gathering Clouds by Sandra S. KernsMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Compelling story and slick writing.
A sweet romance with layers of suspenseful action. Even without the heat between Gabrielle and Theo, the action would have kept me reading to the end. I know a guy just like Theo. You nailed his self-doubt and his clouded view of his own worth. An excellent read. I'll be checking out other novels by Sandra Kerns.
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June 16, 2015
People Believe What You Tell Them to Believe
Don't use the word "aspiring" when you're describing yourself on Twitter or anywhere else.
Author Dakota Skye (Dakota Skye
This reminded me of something that I learned in my 30s. People believe what you tell them to believe about you. I'm usually a pretty humble person. I am the first one to see (and point out!) my flaws. This tendency has plagued me throughout my life, going back as far as I remember.
My stomach churns as I write this, but I'll give you the most blatant example. Twenty-plus years later, I'm still ashamed that these words left my mouth. *deep breath*
When I was a senior in college, I filled out the paperwork to student teach at a local high school. I double-majored in French and Spanish, which I believed was an excellent choice because it doubled the job opportunities for me. I didn't anticipate the effect it would have on how much of each language I would learn in school. The student teaching application asked that dreaded question.
What is your greatest weakness?
I answered honestly. Anybody with any life experience would have coached me to say something different, but I didn't even think to ask. Stupid, naive, twenty-year-old me wrote, "My greatest weakness is knowing less of each language than I could because I split my studies between the two." (Keep in mind, I learned from coursework. I didn't have the money to travel, and honestly, I didn't have the confidence. That's a whole nother blog post though.)
The result of this foolish statement was rejection from the school I was assigned to, two days before winter break, leaving me to scramble to find another placement. (The upside is that not only did I find another placement, I filled in for a teacher that needed immediate leave, and I got paid a first year teacher's salary for student teaching. Everything happens for a reason, right?) Had I said nothing, and named my weakness as something less damning, no one would have suspected that I was insecure, and I wouldn't have faced that rejection.
I didn't learn from this experience right away though. The year my first child was born, a new principal came to our school. His regime was brutal, with "letters in teachers' files" coming without warning. We called him Hitler, for many reasons, but mostly for the fear he instilled in experienced professionals.
After my baby was born, I suffered brutal postpartum depression which exacerbated the undiagnosed anxiety disorder I'd lived with all my life. When Hitler got in my face, he reduced me to nothing. Since I was out for two months on maternity leave and had a schedule change when I got back (to remedy a staffing situation with another member of my department), I was not doing the best work of my career. I said things like, "I don't think I'm cut out to be a teacher. I just don't know what else to do. I don't know how to fix this." It wasn't true, but Hitler believed me.
His regime was short-lived. He's a gypsy. He doesn't stay in one place for long. He can't, and here's why. Hitler can rock a job interview. He can sell a school board promises of academic success that he cannot deliver. He gets hired because he tells people what he wants them to believe, and they believe it.
I finally sought treatment for anxiety and depression under his regime. For that, I am grateful to him. He pushed me off the deep end, and I came out okay on the other side. He taught me something important though. He taught to keep my mouth shut most of the time, and when I speak, to say only what will make people believe about me what I want them to believe.
Do I lie? Nope. I tell the truth, but I don't advertise my flaws.
We've had a couple different principals since Hitler left. They don't know that I ever struggled with my confidence. Our current principal thinks I've got all my shit together (I do, by the way). He asks if I'll meet a deadline, I smile and say, "Of course." The old me would have made the deadline, but would have expressed the doubt that always nags at me. He asks if I need help, I say, "I got this," and then work with my colleagues to make it happen.
I hear this man talking about other teachers. His opinion about some very good teachers is not high. I know that it's because they tell him to believe that they are not good through their words and actions. He asks, "How are you?" They say, "I was up all night grading papers, and I spilled coffee on my shirt." I say, "Fine, thanks. How are you?" I was up all night grading papers too. My coffee stain is hiding under my sweater. I couldn't find my keys, and I had to turn around halfway to school because I forgot my glasses, but he doesn't know that. He thinks I'm fine because that's what I told him to think.
My Tagxedo illustration at the top is taken from the "About" page on my website. The humble, not-so-self-assured woman inside me is screaming about the size of the word "awards." It kills me to put that out there, front and center. I can't stand bragging. I usually hide my accomplishments, reveling only on the inside.
But I want people to read my books. What good is writing if no one reads? Therefore, I have to make people believe that I have won awards (I have. It's not a lie.) in order to convince them that they should choose MY BOOKS when they're searching for something to read.
If your Twitter description says "aspiring author," or anything like it, change it. If you want people to read your books, tell them that you are an author. Don't go overboard. If you've never finished writing anything, don't add "award-winning," but you're selling yourself short by telling people that you're "aspiring" to be a writer. If you write, you're a writer. Tell people that, and they'll believe it.
Pretty soon, you'll believe it too.
P.S. The bat shape is there to inspire me to finish my story for our Halloween anthology. I swear. I'm going to WRITE today!
June 11, 2015
Writing with My Daughter
For the first time ever, my daughter and I sat down together and wrote fiction. She's twelve, and she's 100% certain that she can't write a paragraph. That's not true, of course, but I tried to stay on topic and keep her from repeating that too many times.I've wanted to write something other than erotica for a while, but I can't imagine anyone buying some little story I write without the added bonus of the smut. Young Adult is what I'd like to do, but young adults today like the Hunger Games, Twilight, Harry Potter. I can't even enjoy reading them, much less writing them.
I was brooding on this one morning in the shower, trying to come up with an idea that some kid would actually read. Just as I was ready to resign myself to writing smut forever, my brain switched over to a little story I wrote last summer for Literotica, The Side Effect. This is the closest to Sci-Fi I've ever stepped. In this story, the (foolish) man can't bring himself to go down on the woman he wants to marry, so his sister hooks him up with a woman with questionable ethics from a pharmaceutical lab who gives him a drug with strange side effects--senses and sense organs get mixed up.
As soon as I thought of that little tale, I had my premise. I'm not going to tell you what it is ('cause I don't want anybody stealing my story!), but within minutes of making the connection, I had my main character, her abilities, her family, her backstory. My brain was on fire!
But I was afraid to tell my kids what I was planning. All I needed was a judgmental twelve year old rolling her eyes and saying, "That's stupid, mom. Nobody would read that."
After a couple of weeks, I had to spill it, just because we really needed a good mother-daughter bonding moment. I told her what I was going to do, and braced for the smack-down. Instead, she giggled. "I would SO read that," she said.
Wait. What? It's not dumb? Am I dreaming? Did she just say she'd read that?
So I said, "Well, then you can help me write it."
Today we sat down at the table, each with our graph paper composition books and we started to brainstorm. Then we started to write. We had two good paragraphs written by the time we had to go out for the day, and the minute we got home, SHE ASKED TO WORK ON IT AGAIN.
We finished chapter one before we decided we'd done enough for one day. It needs some polishing, but we are ready to go on chapter two tomorrow.
Writing with my daughter is awesome.
June 3, 2015
Why Sell the Cow?
Why sell the cow when you can give away the milk for free?
I wrote my first story in the summer of 2011 and shared it with the world on Literotica. What a rush it was, getting the first feedback on my stories. My first attempts were journal entries with splashes of outrageous fiction. I wish I could remember how my brain made the jump to writing fiction. Unlike other authors I know, writing fiction was out of my reach. Something other, more creative people did. And then all of a sudden, I was writing Hurricane Season. I have no idea where the idea came from, but it did pretty well on Lit, hovering right around the magic 4.5 point. I thought that was my one story. My one hit wonder.
And then I got another idea. And another. And another. And another. It was awesome! I was a fiction writer. In the winter of 2012, life got hectic, and I pushed the smut aside for a year and a half.
I kept thinking about it though. I kept having other ideas, and I would start stories in my notebook when I had a minute. The stories didn't go away, like I thought they would.
In the summer of 2013, I quit my part time job that consumed more of my life than my full time job, and suddenly, I felt this creative void that ate at me. I picked up my notebook and looked through my story pieces, and then I wrote Skater's Waltz for the Literotica Nude Day Contest. Ice skating in the nude. The idea tickled me to no end. I intended it to be a dirty, little romp for a figure skater and a hockey player, but it morphed into a love story before my eyes. I never thought I'd write a romance, but dammit, I did. (Don't get me wrong. It's dirty.)
My brain took off after Skater's Waltz, and I started posting in the Author's Hangout forum at Lit. A lot of authors were talking about going commercial and selling their ebooks, but I just plugged along, participating in contests and posting my stories.
Why sell the cow when you can give away the milk for free?
That was my philosophy of sharing smut until very recently. I didn't think my stories were good enough for people to spend money on, and I was worried that it wouldn't be worth losing the satisfaction of getting comments on Lit.
What changed my mind was an Amazon author by the name of Ron Mexico. This author copied and pasted one of my stories from Lit, threw a cover on it, and put it up for sale for $2.99. I was furious! Part of me thought I should feel flattered that someone thought that people would pay for it, but I was so pissed. I wasn't ready to take the commercial plunge, so why should somebody else make that decision for me. (Amazon removed the story, but Sr. Mexico has a ton of other stories copied from Lit.)
The incredible Freya Lange gave me the push to sell my stories when she proposed an anthology, Hot Summer Reads, to the members of our writing group. All of a sudden there was a flurry of talk and action about going commercial. Not all of the members jumped on the "sell your books" bandwagon right away, but it was the opportunity I'd been waiting for. I decided to sell the damn cow. I don't even like milk, after all.
We worked together to make a plan. Freya Lange and TT Tales did a ton of research. JC Winchester already had some books for sale, and his input was valuable to all of us. Freya, TTT, JCW, shea mara, and I are the first wave from our group to sell the cow. MS Tarot and J Kendall Dane won't be far behind.
Our group will be successful. I'm sure of that. In a couple of days, summer will be here, and I'll have time to devote myself to writing smut and selling those cows. How much free milk can the world handle anyway?
May 28, 2015
I Miss Making Shit Up
I miss making shit up.
I've been so busy with the anthology and the end of the year at school, I haven't written a word. The little notes scrawled in the margins of my notebook are becoming unmanageable. I hardly remember the thoughts that prompted them.
My desk calendar at work is much the same. This morning I looked down to see a note in tomorrow's block that says, "Be afraid. Be very afraid." What the hell was I thinking when I wrote that? I don't have a clue.
I miss writing. I miss thinking of people that don't exist and giving them life. I miss the fictional places I've made up in my head. But to start something new, or even to work on something unfinished is NOT a good idea in the days before finals start. I have real work to do. The kind that pays the bills, you know?
Tomorrow is Friday. I might make it. If I do, there's a chair overlooking the creek with my name on it. I think I can. I think I can.
May 27, 2015
What a Weekend!
Our anthology, Hot Summer Reads, came out this weekend. What a freaking rush. The chatter amongst my fellow authors was invigorating. The updates on how many downloads we got was inspiring. The tweeting was overwhelming. By the end, I was exhausted. And I can't wait to do it again.By the end of the weekend, I reached my goal of having six ebooks on Amazon, one for each of the six categories on my website. I think it's a good start, and it will hold me for the next two weeks while my life is crazy.
Once things settle down, I'll figure out the right way to tweet and see how giving away a book for a couple of days works out.
One thing I've learned already is that my covers, for the most part, aren't working. I knew that naked bodies were the way to go, but for some of them, I couldn't do it. Eventually I'll get off my high horse and change them, but not right now. I'll do better in the future instead.
The other thing I've learned is that it isn't my best written stories that will sell. Again, I knew that would be true, but I'm pretty surprised to see that the story that is selling the best is the first one I ever wrote, Hurricane Season. I knew nothing about writing fiction, but I put a couple of perfect asses on the cover, and it's outselling all the others put together.
I'm pretty hopeful about this whole Amazon thing though. As long as I can nail down tweeting and make enough money to advertise on Facebook a bit, I may just make this work.
May 24, 2015
Romance Lives Forever: The Hot Summer Reads #anthology @freya_lange #RLFb...
Romance Lives Forever: The Hot Summer Reads #anthology @freya_lange #RLFb...: This quick interview includes info about the author, and introduces the story. About the Author Freya Lange is a writer in her early ...
