C.B. Archer's Blog, page 3
November 28, 2017
NaNoWriMo – Check/Wreck Yourself
November is quickly coming to a close, so it is time for my traditional advice for anyone doing #NaNoWriMo this year but isn’t keeping up:
Word count doesn’t matter. The date doesn’t matter. Even NaNoWriMo doesn’t matter.
That is my advice. Ignore what the entire contest was about.
What matters is that you started something. Even if it was only a title, a plan, or even a layout. If you wrote 5 words or if you wrote 49,999 words the advice stands.
What you did was something, and that is a great start. Don’t stop because of some imposed deadline you couldn’t reach, (or even if you could reach it). Don’t stop because the month is almost over or because someone else is further along. December is just as much of a month as November is. That can be your finishing month. Heck, even April, May, or next November are viable.
Don’t let some arbitrary number stop you because you didn’t reach it by a certain date. The deadline is what I have always hated that about NaNoWriMo. I love that it gets people motivated to start something, but I hate that so many fail because of the concept of a month timeline and then abandon what they did.
Don’t stop NaNoWriMo because of NaNoWriMo itself. Please.
(And next time start your NaNoWriMo novel in August to get several legs up on November. I promise not to tell on you!)
November 23, 2017
Short Reads to Help Procrastinators!
I do.
How is it going?
Yeah, me too.
But…
Butt…
Did you know that short stories count as a book for that? Crazy, right? You could finish your lofty goal in a fraction of the time!
It isn’t cheating, it is an exploit.
Here are a few short read recommendations from some wonderful indie authors I know! Be sure and Read ’em All!
See what I did there? Bet you were wondering why I used a Pokemonesk picture as the header image for this post. It was for that joke (and because drawing a new header picture takes time, and I need all the time I can get to finish my own lofty reading challenge)!
Christina McMullen
SELIA’s Promise 99¢
Dissonant 99¢
All the Nothing We’ve Done 99¢
(All above are available through Kindle Unlimited)
Amanda Siegrist
Follow Me, Sweet Darling 99¢
Paint By Murder 99¢
(All above are available through Kindle Unlimited)
Jane Jago
Bolded Hearts 99¢
(Also available through Kindle Unlimited)
Team Holly 99¢
(Pre-order for release on Dec 1st)
Bea Cannon
Why I Started Smokin’ Cigarettes 99¢
Adams and Eves 99¢
Interruptions FREE
(All above also available through other ebook retailers such as Kobo & Nook)
Dwayne Fry
Old Pops’ Last Beer 99¢
The Six People You Meet In Creative Writing Workshop 99¢
Snipe Hunt 99¢
Pretty Eyes 99¢
Austism 99¢
Ladybug Boy 99¢
(All above are available through Kindle Unlimited)
Kathryn Meyer Griffith
Christmas Magic 1959 FREE
(Also available through other ebook retailers such as Kobo & Nook)
Lyra Shanti
The Lion and the Tiger 99¢
The Dragon Warrior of Kri $2.99
Zin’s Wild Ride 99¢
(All above are available through Kindle Unlimited)
V.M. Sawh
Cinders 99¢
(Also available through Kindle Unlimited)
David M. Kelly
Three Lives of Mary 99¢
Atoll 99¢
How Much Is That Doggy? 99¢
Fenton Treeby Is Missing 99¢
(All above are available through Kindle Unlimited)
Kimelene Carr
Sans Espoir 99¢
(Also available through Kindle Unlimited)
C.B. Archer
Vambrace 99¢
Fallin 99¢
Tango Gourmet: Waltz of Salsa 99¢
Assailant’s Greed 99¢
Navals of War 99¢
Karta Monstra 99¢
All Men’s Space: In Space! 99¢
Elite Fighter II: Quickie 99¢
Slime Pop! Saga 99¢
Where in Hard-Boiled City is Carmella Sanfrancisco? 99¢
Need for Seed 99¢
(All above are available through Kindle Unlimited)
Yes, all of my Tales are on here. Some are even free some days! Check them all every day to see what is free that day. 50% chance it is one of them!
November 21, 2017
Carmella Got Loved!
I randomly set up a freebie day for Carmella and she took off like a rocket! It ended up being a better freebie day than even her first day ever! I didn’t even post it anywhere!
Thanks for all the love everyone, I just wanted to say that!
November 1, 2017
Need For Seed – Publishing!
The Need for Seed: Gertrude’s Tale has been published! Soon it will be on Amazon for purchase so keep clicking refresh every 15 seconds until it shows up!
October 12, 2017
The Need for Seed enters beta testing
The next Tale of Gentalia has officially entered the beta testing stage of development.
Stay tuned for more info about The Need for Seed: Gertrude’s Tale.
September 11, 2017
Where in Hard-Boiled City? Find out!
Where in Hard-Boiled City is Carmella Sanfransisco? My work that features the longest name to date, is now live on Amazon!
Tales of Gentalia enthusiasts rejoice! Book 10 is finally here!
September 3, 2017
August 24, 2017
CB Archer and the Mysterious Case of The Bangable Ocelot Boys – By Qui-Mu
Qui-Mu: I wrote this and released it because CB Was taking to long to post my #VagWeek post! He had it coming!
CB: How did you get on my Blog?
Qui-Mu: Password was easy to hack. *shurg*
Chapter 1: The mystery beginith
Characters: CB Archer – He is an author and thinks he is all cool and stuff. Is he an elf or not? Make up your mind, you are not Anders. Get your own identity!
Ocelot Boys: They are all like kitteys and stuff, and they only come out during the new moon because a full moon is used all the time, but a new moon isn’t so these are really original. So far there is only one Ocelot Boys – Christina. She has a black mane of gold, and her boobs are huge for a boy! She has both boobs and boy parts! That is what they call a twist.
Prologue: There was one a group of ocelot boys, who turned into were ocelot boys during the new moon. Normally they weren’t people, but if they were they would be super hot. Under the full moon, new moon the normal littly cats would turn into buff naked boys!
Chapter 1:
“Yes,” said CB Archer. “I will watch your Ocelots over the weekend Qui-Moon.” (See, it wasn’t me, but you thought it might be. No Qui-Moon is liek me, but she is a werepanther, but that’s for chapter 3! So stay tuned!)
“Good.” I said. I mean Qui-Moon said. “There is nothing suspicious about this at all!”
“I agreed, said CB”.
And then QUi-Mu left the house. There was atmosphere outside. Lightning, and darkness flittered through the rain soaked outside. The sun was bright, and soon it would be darker night! Then, it was and the New Moon was in Twilight!
CB had no idea what was going on when there was a sound from the kitty room. He went inside and then there was all the ocelots! He had already fed them precious milk earlier, but now they were fully grown men, and they wanted more than milk now. Teh Ocelot boy with the biggest tits came forward and spoke up.
Christina said, “I have the biggest boobs here, and the biggest cock for I am the giant ocelot queen and also a guy and girl!
Cb was amazed. her cock was thick, and dribbling with ocelot milks! She was ready to use it! ANd her boobs!!!
End Part 1.
Qui-Mu: Stay tuned for part 2 – if CB doesn’t release my cool #VagWeek post!
CB: Oh sweet Maker.
Chapter 2: The Mystery COntinues!
New characters: Vanessa: Vanessa is CB Archer’s roommate. She has the best job ever – official character drawer of Karta Monstra! She has like huge rockin’ tits and is packing a big old D as a surprise!
Last Time: There was an ocelot boy orgy or something like that. Try to keep up.
Chapter 2:
CB Archer woke up mewling, with a belly full of the creamyest of ocelot boy milks. He didn’t know what happened last night, but oh no! Tonight was the start of the next new moon! Who knew what would happen?
CB Archer scratched his non-releasing-my-reminder-post-ass, and got out of bed with trouble. His belly was so full he looked mpreg!
“Oh no!” “I hope I am not mpreg!” Said CB Archer as he rubbed his belly. “That would be a plot twist!”
SO he went down the hallway and ran into his roommate, Vanessa.
“WOW! CB you look preggers!” Said Vanessa.
“Yes.” Answered CB Archer. “So many ocelot boys!”
“Hey, let’s make sure you are mpreg!” Vanessa said with a smirk as she unleashed her huge secret slab of throbbing man meats!
“Oh my!” Said CB ARcher as he fainted agains. Lolz.
End Part 2.
Feel free to comment, but helpful comments only, no h8!
Qui-Mu: This is getting good huh?
CB Archer: No.
Chapter 3: The Mystery Has Wishes!
CB: What are you doing Qui-Mu? I posted your reminder!!!
Qui-Mu: Nope, that was for Butt Week. Not #VagWeek.
CB: But…
Qui-Mu: Enough Butts!
New characters: Calvin: Calvin is the genie of the mirror. He is tall, and has golden eyes, flowing long pink hair, and wears a little genie outfit with like the lil’ booties and stuff. He is sporting some rockin’ tits!
Last Time: CB was banged by a T-Rex! Vanessa was a T-Rex, that wasn’t described fully but it is now canon. Try to keep up.
Chapter 3:
CB woke up double full. The first day of the new moon was today! And he was super mpreggers looking. He had to go to the bathroom to see his perfect round mpreg looking belly.
“Wow, I look so full of baby!” Said CB. “And look at how cute my kitty ears are today!”
CB Dropped his toothbrush that he was holding from before. His kitty ears? He didn’t have any of those last night! Oh no! Was he turning into an Ocelot boy because he got a nibble from one? He rubbed the mirror and the genie popped out, cause the mirror was magic!
“Hi’ Said Calvin, Genie of the mirror. “Three wishes are yours for releasing me from my slumber.”
“I wish to know if you re really a genie.”
“I am, said Ca;vin.”
“Kay.” Said CB. “I wish to know if I am an ocelot boy now!!!”
“You are. Like, werewolves, but with ocelots. ANd you are the Omega, redy to get alphaed.” Was replied.
“CB said,” Really? Huh. I wish to know if I am actually mpreg yet.”
“Not yet,” said Calvin, “But let’s see what we can do about that!”
And Calvin let forth his magic lamp and it was big and sprung to attention! CB Was going to be even more full now!
End Part 3
CB: You can’t just randomly bring in people from Twitter and use them in your story!
Qui-Mu: I didn’t. Calvin is my Goodreads friend and gave me permission to use him there, by saying he was my friend. Like ocelot boy Christina and T-rexnessa!
CB: !!! That isn’t how this works!
Chapter 4: The Mystery Wears Hats!
CB: Stop it! I posted everything you asked!
Qui-Mu: Nope, I super need to finish this now!
New characters: Mr. William Bully Tittenhat: He works at a carnival, and has a hat with rockin’ tits!
Last Time: CB was genie wished to be even more full, but not mpreg! The genie confirmed it after.
Chapter 4:
CB needed to learn the truth about his new moon ocelot problem. It was a new day and the first day of the new moon. It was time to go back to the wonderful, amazing, totally rad Qui-Moon’s house! The fastest way was through the old haunted carnival! He went that way.
Soon a man stopped him at one of the games. He had a nice titty hat and was ultra dapper!
“Wanna play a game?” The tittyhatted man said.
CB said yes. How can you say no to a game?
“Perfect! If you win you will learn about your ocelot tendencies. If I win I will get to try to make you even more mpreg looking! bwahahaha!”
CB Had no idea the stakes were so high! But the O-Ring toss was beginning! CB did not win and was filled up with ghost leavings! Oh. Yeah, that was important. Mr. William Bill Tittyhat was a ghost this entire time! Spooky Right!
End Part 4
CB: !!!
Qui-Mu: Fine, I’ll stop you big baby!
CB: But… *blush* how does it end?
Chapter 5: The Mystery Is Revealed!
CB: Okay, I am hooked how does it end?
Qui-Mu: You will see!
CB: It’s an orgy, isn’t it?
Qui-Mu: Yes! But there is more!
New characters: EP the Lady Centaur: EP is a lady centaur. She is CB’s teacher as well, so this is like, super naughty!
Qui-Moon: Not me at all!
Last Time: CB had been 4 times full of the spunk! He looks so crazy mpreg now!
Chapter 4 5:
CB Got to Qui-Moon’s House early the next day, the first day of the new moon and he was scared he would become an ocelot boy for sure!
He needed to get inside, but first there was a gate guard. who super needed to get inside as well. heh. That’s a joke, it didn’t happen yet.
“hault!” Said the Ladytaur!
CB Was shocked. Here was EP, and he had never met such a graceful centaur before, even in her class that he was in for Russian languages! She had some great rockin’ tits, and for the first time ever, a vag!
CB was shocked, but then he saw that the vag was only on her lady part, on her horse part she was rocking a big old secret giant D! Like all the great ladies!
CB was now inside the gate, but inside him was 5 giant loads of Mpreg gravy! He was about to burst with it all, when he got inside!
End part 5!
CB: Nope. Finish it. You need to finish it.
Chapter 6: The Mystery orgy!
New characters:
Qui-Moon: Not me at all!
Last Time: CB was so round with possible mpreg that he was like a balloon of juice! That sounds so hot, I love it.
Chapter 6:
CB got inside and met his old friend. Christina the ocelot boy queen!
CB was all like, Hey, am I an ocelot boy now cause of you, and she was like, yep. it’s cool. you grow some rocking tits if you become one! CB felt his chest and was surprised! Now he had rockin’ tits too!
Christina’s rockin’ tits and big old D were sad that CB left before. She was ready for another round. Then someone else showed up, crashing through the window with her t-Rex arms! Vanessa the roomate. She had some rockin’ t-rex tits and was also ready to mpreg the crap out of CB!
CB was nervous. That was a lot of d and rockin’ tits! Then it was Calvin again! And he also had tits now, if he didn’t before! He was ready to use his lamp in all the right ways!
And Mr. Tittyhat came through the floor. Well, not came! that’s for in a bit! And EP the horse D’ed and V’ed and T’ed was there now too!
And Qui-Moon! She showed up, and she had the rockin’est tits and the biggest surprise D of them all!
Then they all totally did it! In CB’s butt!
CB got so filled that all the juices mixed and became a miracle inside him. He was impossibly mpreg!!! It happened.
THe End
Prologue: Epilogue:
2 days later CB gave birth to his butt baby! It was himself! And that is the story of how CB Archer was made. ANd now he writes books for everyone!
CB: I am speechless.
Qui-Mu: I know, rite?
CB Archer and the Mysterious Case of The Bangable Ocelot Boys – Chapter 1 – By Qui-Mu
Qui-Mu: I wrote this and released it because CB Was taking to long to post my #VagWeek post! He had it coming!
CB: How did you get on my Blog?
Qui-Mu: Password was easy to hack. *shurg*
Chapter 1: The mystery beginith
Characters: CB Archer – He is an author and thinks he is all cool and stuff. Is he an elf or not? Make up your mind, you are not Anders. Get your own identity!
Ocelot Boys: They are all like kitteys and stuff, and they only come out during the new moon because a full moon is used all the time, but a new moon isn’t so these are really original. So far there is only one Ocelot Boys – Christina. She has a black mane of gold, and her boobs are huge for a boy! She has both boobs and boy parts! That is what they call a twist.
Prologue: There was one a group of ocelot boys, who turned into were ocelot boys during the new moon. Normally they weren’t people, but if they were they would be super hot. Under the full moon, new moon the normal littly cats would turn into buff naked boys!
Chapter 1:
“Yes,” said CB Archer. “I will watch your Ocelots over the weekend Qui-Moon.” (See, it wasn’t me, but you thought it might be. No Qui-Moon is liek me, but she is a werepanther, but that’s for chapter 3! So stay tuned!)
“Good.” I said. I mean Qui-Moon said. “There is nothing suspicious about this at all!”
“I agreed, said CB”.
And then QUi-Mu left the house. There was atmosphere outside. Lightning, and darkness flittered through the rain soaked outside. The sun was bright, and soon it would be darker night! Then, it was and the New Moon was in Twilight!
CB had no idea what was going on when there was a sound from the kitty room. He went inside and then there was all the ocelots! He had already fed them precious milk earlier, but now they were fully grown men, and they wanted more than milk now. Teh Ocelot boy with the biggest tits came forward and spoke up.
Christina said, “I have the biggest boobs here, and the biggest cock for I am the giant ocelot queen and also a guy and girl!
Cb was amazed. her cock was thick, and dribbling with ocelot milks! She was ready to use it! ANd her boobs!!!
End Part 1.
Stay tuned for part 2 – if CB doesn’t release my cool #VagWeek post!
CB: Oh sweet Maker.
Anders and the Bridge Ogre Gangbang
I did it again for #ButtWeek. Artwork. Naughty, naughty, artwork.
Again, here is just the preview tip. If you want the full experience of the NSFW art – click here!
