Joy Leftow's Blog, page 19

AMERICA THE MEAGER (sestina)

Alive burning with fire consumes me

Ready freedom burns me

Disputes consume me

House of ill repute

Esteem pollutes forbidden fruit

Pursuit of dreams




American happiness is not pursuit of dreams

American dream a lie, fire consumes me

Covered clotted cream, forbidden fruit

Deceit, the lie of the American dream burns me

Life in the house of ill repute

Americans, wish I weren’t consumed




Freedom from consumerism

Important to pursue the dream

Caught up in ill repute

Desire consumes me

Dirty hands burn me

For sale, buy my forbidden fruit




Can’t hide away forbidden fruit

Lust consumes me

Thirst so strong, it burns me

Cravings coerced, reimbursed dreams

Yearnings consume me

Borne and bred of ill repute




Iraq, Beirut, wars of ill repute

Oil the biggest forbidden fruit

Observing abuse consumes me

Obliterating abuse consumes me

Inflicting suffering drowns dreams

Blues burn me




Trickle down abuse burns me

Weak forced to accept ill repute

Eradicates man’s right to dream

Access to achieve forbidden fruit

Denials of basic rights consumes me

Animals abuse and pollution consume me




Wrenched heart, fear consumes and burns me

Escape from ill repute, searching for equity and decency consume
me Forbidden fruits multiply wealthy citizens; cancel out poor
man’s dreams












This is written in sestina form:

1st Stanza   ABCDEF 

2nd Stanza  FAEBDC

3rd Stanza  CFDABE

4th Stanza  ECBFAD

5th Stanza  DEACFB

6th Stanza  BDFECA




The last 3 lines are formatted thus

AB

CD

EF

AMERICA THE MEAGER (sestina)

Alive burning with fire consumes me

Ready freedom burns me

Disputes consume me

House of ill repute

Esteem pollutes forbidden fruit

Pursuit of dreams




American happiness is not pursuit of dreams

American dream a lie, fire consumes me

Covered clotted cream, forbidden fruit

Deceit, the lie of the American dream burns me

Life in the house of ill repute

Americans, wish I weren’t consumed




Freedom from consumerism

Important to pursue the dream

Caught up in ill repute

Desire consumes me

Dirty hands burn me

For sale, buy my forbidden fruit




Can’t hide away forbidden fruit

Lust consumes me

Thirst so strong, it burns me

Cravings coerced, reimbursed dreams

Yearnings consume me

Borne and bred of ill repute




Iraq, Beirut, wars of ill repute

Oil the biggest forbidden fruit

Observing abuse consumes me

Obliterating abuse consumes me

Inflicting suffering drowns dreams

Blues burn me




Trickle down abuse burns me

Weak forced to accept ill repute

Eradicates man’s right to dream

Access to achieve forbidden fruit

Denials of basic rights consumes me

Animals abuse and pollution consume me




Wrenched heart, fear consumes and burns me

Escape from ill repute, searching for equity and decency consume
me Forbidden fruits multiply wealthy citizens; cancel out poor
man’s dreams












This is written in sestina form:

1st Stanza   ABCDEF 

2nd Stanza  FAEBDC

3rd Stanza  CFDABE

4th Stanza  ECBFAD

5th Stanza  DEACFB

6th Stanza  BDFECA




The last 3 lines are formatted thus

AB

CD

EF

Searching For Sunshine

Ain’t no sun up in my sky
today

Rain keeps falling on my
head

Got the blues so bad I’m
dancing with fire

in hellish nights with no
end

Promises and dreams not in
sight

No delight in life

a bout inside, an an
endless fight

in a world where nothing’s
right




No sun up in my sky, too
down to cry

waiting on motivation that
can't come

Dream daily

Lying awake waiting for my
lover to come on home

Frustration growing

waiting on lover makes me
quirky that way




Comes sneaking through the
bedroom 

door in the dead of night

Bed bathed in moonlight

Soft red hair brushes my
shoulder

Our promises of together
forever have grown older

Each day colder




As she lies down beside me

My eyes closed, pretend I’m
asleep

Awake to an empty bed

Gone, left

With words unsaid




Sadness never ends

Never thought we’d end that
way

Rain taps on windowpane

Listen in solitary solace

Left me on a rainy day




Called later, said she had to
go,

Had someone waiting on her

Someone easier to abide, 

Someone to turn the tides

Someone to resolve
dissatisfaction

Permeating our relations

Someone older, more mature




Someone sensitive who knew

how to make love

Someone who understood

Standing in the rain, alone





Clothes drenched through to
skin

Each day hope rain will go
away

tears blending with rain

sun’s gone away

rains refuse to abate

Another Peace Poem

Foster peace in a universe of abuse

Choose peace over sorrows and regrets, let loose

Excuse my bluntness while I try to mend my foolish heart




I’m begging you please

A piece of the pie

The all American style

I want peace

peace in every nation

peace on every occasion

in every location personal to station wide

a vacation from substance abuse

peace in a universe based on contempt

give me some peas in a pod,

I’ll give you a nursery breeding on continuums

of overpopulation saturated with misinformation

I’ll give you a universe one score and five million years
ago

a new universe was born of peace, responsibility, utility,

continuity of many species

Make peace or face destruction of varied species of life

including the human race

or be at peace, meditation replaces medication

the one becomes the all

the all becomes the one and there will be peace

Another Peace Poem

Foster peace in a universe of abuse

Choose peace over sorrows and regrets, let loose

Excuse my bluntness while I try to mend my foolish heart




I’m begging you please

A piece of the pie

The all American style

I want peace

peace in every nation

peace on every occasion

in every location personal to station wide

a vacation from substance abuse

peace in a universe based on contempt

give me some peas in a pod,

I’ll give you a nursery breeding on continuums

of overpopulation saturated with misinformation

I’ll give you a universe one score and five million years
ago

a new universe was born of peace, responsibility, utility,

continuity of many species

Make peace or face destruction of varied species of life

including the human race

or be at peace, meditation replaces medication

the one becomes the all

the all becomes the one and there will be peace

Tired of the trickle down abuse ...

Mercy for animals please, 



no more abuse!



Imagine what people what say if there was no waste treatment plants for our waste? We'd be back with Typhoid Mary.



But the poor animals are forced to stay in one spot, not allowed to walk, move or turn their bodies or ever see the sun and walk outdoors to graze grass while alive. Then when the workers are told to clean out the foot of feces and urine the animals (cows, pigs chickens and all factory farm animals) which has turned to pure ammonia, they usually beat the animals to make them move out of their way so the workers can do their jobs and shovel the shit out.



After all, these people have to do what they are told. They have families to support. Of course this ammonia smell is harmful to the worker's lungs as well as the animals. Then workers spray the fields with urine and feces they've shoveled out creating poisoned ground runoff which also contains antibiotic and hormones.The animals are force fed antibiotics and hormones because otherwise they would not have growth spurts because their filthy living conditions prevents growth. We end up with hormones and antibiotics in our bodies second hand or third hand, depending on whether or not we eat these animals. Then because of the runoff the hormones and antibiotics is absorbed from the ground into our vegies or grown foods. So our nation is becoming more and more unhealthy to help make Tyson and other factory farms more wealthy than they are while we wear blinders and don't see what the world has become.  The ground is poisoned so all our foods are too and even being vegetarian or vegan won't help unless you can afford to eat totally organic.



On the day piglits are born or several days later they take a rusty clippers and clip their balls off. They burn calves horns off without doing anything to numb the pain. Sometimes they saw them off and you can hear the animals howls of anguish and pain. Worker kick and beat them stop them and think they have no feelings. They are just meat.



Milk cows are forced to give birth to unwanted calves to provide milk and cheese. These cows are never allowed to graze and are forced to eat corn and grains that their bodies can't digest. The calves newly born, are bludgeoned to death with hammers which takes quite a while. They lie there, their hearts still beating, whining and screaming in pain while workers hammer their heads. We need to get back to family farms and to get rid of these unhealthy practices.



"They undergo painful mutilations and are bred to grow unnaturally fast and large for the purpose of maximizing meat, egg, and milk production for the food industry. Their bodies cannot support this growth, which results in debilitating and painful conditions and deformities. "

"Every year, 9 billion chickens are slaughtered for meat in the United States. Called “broilers” by the industry, these curious, social birds are treated simply as production units, selectively bred and fed for abnormally fast growth without consideration for their well-being. The resulting large size contributes significantly to suffering, disease, and early death." http://www.farmsanctuary.org/learn/factory-farming/



In every other advanced nation in the world, they have reverted back to grazing cattle and pigs because they realize how unhealthy this is for the animal, the earth and us, because when we eat them we ingest 2nd hand antibiotics and hormones, which is why many of us are antibiotic resistant.



Please speak out for the animals. To do so go visit the following websites to sign petitions on many issues, including animal abuse.



http://www.mercyforanimals.org/



Care2.org



Forcechange.org



change.orghttp://www.mercyforanimals.ca/pigcruelty/



http://wildhorsepreservation.org/about



http://www.nrdc.org/living/

Tired of the trickle down abuse ...

Mercy for animals please, 



no more abuse!



Imagine what people what say if there was no waste treatment plants for our waste? We'd be back with Typhoid Mary.



But the poor animals are forced to stay in one spot not allowed to walk move or turn their bodies or ever see the sun while they are alive. Then when the workers are told to clean out the foot of feces and urine which has turned to pure ammonia, they usually beat the animals to make them move out of their way so they can do their jobs. After all, these people have to do what they are told. They have families to support. Of course this ammonia smell is harmful to their lungs as well. Then workers spray the fields with urine and feces creating poisoned ground runoff which also contains antibiotic and hormones.The animals are force fed antibiotics because otherwise their filthy living conditions prevents growth. We end up with these second hand or third hand once it's from our vegies or grown foods because  because the ground is poisoned is in our foods and even being vegetarian or vegan won't help unless you can afford to eat totally organic.



On the day piglits are born or several days later they take a rusty clippers and clip their balls off. They burn calves horns off without doing anything to numb the pain. Sometimes they saw them off and you can hear the animals howls of anguish and pain. Worker kick and beat them stop them and think they have no feelings. They are just meat.



In every other advanced nation in the world, they have reverted back to grazing cattle and pigs because they realize how unhealthy this is for the animal, the earth and us, because when we eat them we ingest 2nd hand antibiotics and hormones, which is why many of us are antibiotic resistant.



Please speak out for the animals. To do so go visit the following websites to sign petitions on many issues, including animal abuse.



Care2.org



Forcechange.org



change.org



http://wildhorsepreservation.org/about



http://www.nrdc.org/living/

Criticism betrays me

I’m so bad that people gather together to conspire to
criticize me. They review and share my misdeeds sitting in judgment of stupid
things starting with how improper I am to scratch my head. I say out loud the
unsaid things no one else would ever say.




Criticized on all sides. One sister calls me fickle because
I dumped some stupid guy. But she sure dumped a lot more guys than me. In her
next breath she said I was insane and proved myself a doormat and to put up
with his shit.




My miss fine manners –I always looked up to her, saw her as
more beautiful and so smart. She knew how to behave. She could fool anyone into
believing anything. She probably believed it all herself. She fooled two
therapists at one time proving two was just as easy as one to deceive. She
would see each and tell them different versions of the same events. She told me
she needed one for her heart and the other for her mind. She discards garbage
passing through our lives, hiding things from herself. She can no longer see
what is deception, an illusion, sees all as her own private truths. Like me, she
lives in a private world of delusion, a flimsy sense of right and wrong betray us,
see the world through a film of gauze and baubles. I am let down by my
perceptions.




Others are more sensible, think it through, avoid trouble. I
try and do the same as I observe others have done, and am called insane and
crazy though I’ve been called worse than that too.




I dream I’m talking to Buck Henry, “Buck,” I tell him, “I’d
rather be faithful but when I get unhappy I also get unfaithful.” He laughs and
agrees.  It’s like I told Buck Henry
about being unfaithful. I’d rather not throw stones but how many do you take
and turn away before you throw some back. Imagine! She is a plagiarizer and you
a drunken fool who have nothing to show for all your years of work because of
the alcohol. Killing yourself slowly, your brain no longer tells you where to
go.




Criticizing you doesn’t make me feel better. I feel the
worst for it. How unkind to put down a friend for a silly thing like scratching
her head. That is crazy. I resolve not to continue to be unkind so I apologize
for all my wrongs.




Who gave you leave to play god to my queen or think you’re
so perfect you have the right to judge anyone.




He has a predilection for prostitutes along with his alcohol.
He doesn’t use protection. I know about these things but don’t use it as a
weapon. And my other accuser, his favorite girl, is a plagiarist. He wrote all
her papers. She explained that God put him there to write them for her. She
wouldn’t be a nurse if it weren’t for him. I pray she’ll never nurse anyone I
know. Oops my bad, I agree you’re both better than me – so where does that get
you? This is friendship for you? I have lost my way to call someone a friend
who criticizes me for stupid stuff.




I’m selling tickets now so stand in line to criticize me.




Julio says,  “These
people are not your friends. Leave them behind. Put yourself with positive
people. You have no luck sister because you were a fallen in a past life. Everyone
kicks a falling star. It’s in your planets to be a humanitarian. Take yourself
away from negativity. Don’t think about negative people and only be with those
who are positive. Do this sister and stay positive and move towards the light
and everything will be all right.”






























































I’m moving on to a new hemisphere. Bygones are bygones are
even woebegone. I’d accept an apology but I understand it’s more important to
be right. New beginnings are out’a sight! I make a new year’s resolution to
make more friends… and to always make amends.





______________________________________________

Author's note*



*Originally I wrote this then changed it a great deal but today in looking at my various versions of this piece, I felt this one had merit too, so put it up. I get confused sometimes because I have so many versions of the same piece. The later version can be seen here:

Stand In Line To Criticize Me

Rainbow Fantasy

I live in an age where when I go to CVS and ask the sales
person for Mercurochrome he has no idea what I’m talking about. Live in an age
where most people under 25 have never heard of Marilyn Monroe. Some few saw
the recent production of movies and T-shirts shown all over the fashion
industry. I bought a Marilyn shirt at Macy’s. Probably people who grew up during her time saw the movies
about Marilyn’s life.




















They had to kill Marilyn. True she’d been passed down through
the Kennedys and I recall how she sang, Happy
Birthday Mr. President with that Eartha Kitt sexy breathy voice, a husky
tinge promising more to come.




People don’t know who Janis and Jimi are either, don’t see
why they should give a damn about them. It’s more about who you are today in
light given years. You see what I mean. - O’lay!




Living in an age where stars are criminals and the more
props you gain from your evil deeds the more famous you become.




No one cares about a starlit gaze, a maze of illustrious dreams;
everyone thinks things so easy now-a-days. Com’on and get happy, throw all your
cares away.




Get on a reality TV show to show your bad, show your stupid
fat ass fad and that and 2 cents makes you famous.




Now-a-days they don’t make stars or Mercurochrome anymore. None
of the real stuff can be found. A few stars pass by unnoticed and unnamed and
no one can see what you see even when you explain it to them using a light show.
No one knows anymore. We just imagine a new world we can make unable to see the
waste of talents over years. No one knows anything anymore…




Used to be a time when people knew, a time when we knew what
we could do and would join together to make things better.




All the fizz is out of the jizzmo.




No one’s going anyplace anymore. All out of that brand? I
can’t understand why it hurts so much.

Know I’ve got to go where I can show I understand the flow
of the naked glow - no one understands what I say. Is it because I live in a
different realm and can’t be in this one?




The universe doesn’t exist or my mind resides on a faraway
star, a space in a hidden universe.




I never conquered the space between the roses. The thorns
bite to the quick when you try to pick one, a delicious hurt I want more of.  I savor the taste of blood as it rolls down
my fingertips, a tribute to Eleanor, I suck my bloody finger, relish my taste
when I'm too lazy to use the Astrogel. I slide my finger inside for more
wetness. I lick my finger. It tastes so good, enjoy the scent and put my finger
back on the buzzer.




Is this what they mean when they say you have 9 lives, do
they mean that the universe I die in is different from the womb that birthed
me.




What exactly changed that the fare went from a dime to two fifty in the timespan of half of a century or that the planet is hotter than
before like summer days where they urge you to stay inside for your own good or
you may explode inside the time it takes to walk outside to go where you
decide to go.




Are people still the same or are they different? You have to
shock people, force their eyes wide open, make them feel something and if you
can’t do that in the span of a second then you’re second place, you’ll never be
first.




If you have to ask the question you’ll never understand the
answer no matter how many times it’s explained to you. You have to know, if
you don’t know it’s like being dead, walking in a dense cloud of obnoxious smoke.
Create a new trend, dubious dreams seem delirious. Next night I was there when
it happened yet never witnessed the change.




The gap between space and time closes.







____________________________________

*Author's note



*In case people think I don't know that Mercurochrome is outlawed because of the mercury, I am aware of that. 



Thanks to Thomas Hubbard to corrected my spelling of Jimi.

Mississippi blues festival Gussow and Turner), 2013