Rachel Hajar's Blog: My Life in Doha - Posts Tagged "rite-of-passage"
Anniversary
February 1st is an important day for me – It’s my wedding anniversary and I remember it, without fail, whereas my husband forgets it, without fail. These days, I don’t really mind my husband forgetting the day. This attitude must be due to wisdom that comes with age, but I like to have days that are special, days that are somehow different from other days, to remember that on that date an event happened that changed your life: birthdays . . . wedding anniversaries . . . and other milestones in life – rites of passage. Marriage is a life-changing event but unlike a birthday, it is no longer an once-in-a-lifetime happening. Nonetheless, I do not think that it should be treated like an ordinary day. “What would your days be if I were not around to give it gentleness and romance?” is a trademark question/statement that I drop around like pebbles on DDAY. He has a wonderful sense of humor though. Several years ago, he forgot DDAY because he had been busy memorizing classical Arabic poetry and to hide his “misdemeanor”, he said that I cannot be a replacement for knowledge! I was of course offended and you can imagine what that particular DDAY was like! I spent the day being unhappy. By the time I received my flowers, it was late – 9:00 PM in the evening . . . and I became more kindly disposed towards him, thinking him sweet again! And remembering my father-in-law’s comment once upon a time, observing my varied moods, “Your affection is fickle like the wind.”
With time, as my children grew up, they would remember our wedding anniversary and through them my husband would remember . . .
I can just imagine the predicament of men. Unlike women, they are not good at remembering birthdays and anniversaries but I am positive that they have a knack for remembering a “date” (rendezvous, tryst)! I suppose they are victims of their genes. Science say that women are better than men at remembering everyday events, words, objects, pictures (called episodic memory tasks); men are better at symbolic, non-linguistic information (visual-spatial processing). For example, a man would be more likely to remember his way out of the woods (I never would); a woman is better at remembering the location of car keys, which, according to scientists, requires both verbal and visual-spatial processing. In addition, women are better than men at remembering faces, especially of females and the reason according to scientists is that women allocate more attention to female than male faces. Well, naturally!
I remember a hilarious incident narrated by a friend of ours. He is also a cardiologist and he also does not remember birthdays and anniversaries but his wife does. His wife forbids their children to remind him of her birthday, so his secretary reminds him. On that particular birthday of his wife, his secretary had reminded him but it had been too late to get her flowers. However, one of his patients had died recently and the family (Italian) had been very grateful for the years that he had takne care of their father. That day, the family had sent him a bouquet of very expensive flowers with a card. Puzzled what to do, he had had a brilliant idea: give the flowers to his wife! “No you can’t do that!” his secretary had exclaimed but he had said, “Yes, I could”, erasing his name on the card, and penciling in his wife’s. So, he had gone home with the flowers. “It’s your Mom’s birthday. Where is she?”, he had asked his daughter who replied sharply, “Who told you about Mom’s B-day?” He had replied, “No one. Nobody. I remembered. He gave his wife the flowers with the card and she had been very happy he remembered. But his wife had not particularly liked the flowers and had gone to the florist the following day.
“My husband bought this for me yesterday but I would like to exchange them please.”
“What name please?” The florist could not find her husband’s name.
“No one by that name bought any flowers yesterday but this bouquet was bought by an
Italian family”, the florist had said, puzzled.
His wife had gone home angry and did not speak to him for days.
Genetic truth: Men do not remember birthdays and anniversaries. Women have an emotional need that their husband remembers these important everyday events. Remember, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. “ The best solution is to just inform him, “It’s our wedding anniversary tomorrow.” It takes away 50% of the romance however, so one has to be creative. I usually drop plenty of hints the night before.
Last January 31, I asked my husband: “Tomorrow is February 1st. What important event happened that day?” He had been fixing his ghattra (long flowing headdress) in front of the mirror. He had smiled and gave a nervous little laugh. He replied, “Let me see . . . I was born a week after that.” “Yes, indeed”, I replied in a little voice, sighing. He is an Aquarius and the fascinating and interesting story of how he discovered his true birth date is narrated in my book, My Life in Doha: Between Dream and Reality.
I had given up, consoling myself with thought of what he told me recently “I have given you my heart.”
When I came back from the hospital, a bouquet of flowers was waiting for me in our room! He had remembered after all, but only after jiggling his memory cells!
Rachel Hajar, M.D.
My Life in Doha: Between Dream and Reality
http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.c...
www.amazon.com
www.barnesandnoble.com.
With time, as my children grew up, they would remember our wedding anniversary and through them my husband would remember . . .
I can just imagine the predicament of men. Unlike women, they are not good at remembering birthdays and anniversaries but I am positive that they have a knack for remembering a “date” (rendezvous, tryst)! I suppose they are victims of their genes. Science say that women are better than men at remembering everyday events, words, objects, pictures (called episodic memory tasks); men are better at symbolic, non-linguistic information (visual-spatial processing). For example, a man would be more likely to remember his way out of the woods (I never would); a woman is better at remembering the location of car keys, which, according to scientists, requires both verbal and visual-spatial processing. In addition, women are better than men at remembering faces, especially of females and the reason according to scientists is that women allocate more attention to female than male faces. Well, naturally!
I remember a hilarious incident narrated by a friend of ours. He is also a cardiologist and he also does not remember birthdays and anniversaries but his wife does. His wife forbids their children to remind him of her birthday, so his secretary reminds him. On that particular birthday of his wife, his secretary had reminded him but it had been too late to get her flowers. However, one of his patients had died recently and the family (Italian) had been very grateful for the years that he had takne care of their father. That day, the family had sent him a bouquet of very expensive flowers with a card. Puzzled what to do, he had had a brilliant idea: give the flowers to his wife! “No you can’t do that!” his secretary had exclaimed but he had said, “Yes, I could”, erasing his name on the card, and penciling in his wife’s. So, he had gone home with the flowers. “It’s your Mom’s birthday. Where is she?”, he had asked his daughter who replied sharply, “Who told you about Mom’s B-day?” He had replied, “No one. Nobody. I remembered. He gave his wife the flowers with the card and she had been very happy he remembered. But his wife had not particularly liked the flowers and had gone to the florist the following day.
“My husband bought this for me yesterday but I would like to exchange them please.”
“What name please?” The florist could not find her husband’s name.
“No one by that name bought any flowers yesterday but this bouquet was bought by an
Italian family”, the florist had said, puzzled.
His wife had gone home angry and did not speak to him for days.
Genetic truth: Men do not remember birthdays and anniversaries. Women have an emotional need that their husband remembers these important everyday events. Remember, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. “ The best solution is to just inform him, “It’s our wedding anniversary tomorrow.” It takes away 50% of the romance however, so one has to be creative. I usually drop plenty of hints the night before.
Last January 31, I asked my husband: “Tomorrow is February 1st. What important event happened that day?” He had been fixing his ghattra (long flowing headdress) in front of the mirror. He had smiled and gave a nervous little laugh. He replied, “Let me see . . . I was born a week after that.” “Yes, indeed”, I replied in a little voice, sighing. He is an Aquarius and the fascinating and interesting story of how he discovered his true birth date is narrated in my book, My Life in Doha: Between Dream and Reality.
I had given up, consoling myself with thought of what he told me recently “I have given you my heart.”
When I came back from the hospital, a bouquet of flowers was waiting for me in our room! He had remembered after all, but only after jiggling his memory cells!
Rachel Hajar, M.D.
My Life in Doha: Between Dream and Reality
http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.c...
www.amazon.com
www.barnesandnoble.com.
Anniversary
February 1st is an important day for me – It’s my wedding anniversary and I remember it, without fail, whereas my husband forgets it, without fail. These days, I don’t really mind my husband forgetting the day. This attitude must be due to wisdom that comes with age, but I like to have days that are special, days that are somehow different from other days, to remember that on that date an event happened that changed your life: birthdays . . . wedding anniversaries . . . and other milestones in life – rites of passage. Marriage is a life-changing event but unlike a birthday, it is no longer an once-in-a-lifetime happening. Nonetheless, I do not think that it should be treated like an ordinary day. “What would your days be if I were not around to give it gentleness and romance?” is a trademark question/statement that I drop around like pebbles on DDAY. He has a wonderful sense of humor though. Several years ago, he forgot DDAY because he had been busy memorizing classical Arabic poetry and to hide his “misdemeanor”, he said that I cannot be a replacement for knowledge! I was of course offended and you can imagine what that particular DDAY was like! I spent the day being unhappy. By the time I received my flowers, it was late – 9:00 PM in the evening . . . and I became more kindly disposed towards him, thinking him sweet again! And remembering my father-in-law’s comment once upon a time, observing my varied moods, “Your affection is fickle like the wind.”
With time, as my children grew up, they would remember our wedding anniversary and through them my husband would remember . . .
I can just imagine the predicament of men. Unlike women, they are not good at remembering birthdays and anniversaries but I am positive that they have a knack for remembering a “date” (rendezvous, tryst)! I suppose they are victims of their genes. Science say that women are better than men at remembering everyday events, words, objects, pictures (called episodic memory tasks); men are better at symbolic, non-linguistic information (visual-spatial processing). For example, a man would be more likely to remember his way out of the woods (I never would); a woman is better at remembering the location of car keys, which, according to scientists, requires both verbal and visual-spatial processing. In addition, women are better than men at remembering faces, especially of females and the reason according to scientists is that women allocate more attention to female than male faces. Well, naturally!
I remember a hilarious incident narrated by a friend of ours. He is also a cardiologist and he also does not remember birthdays and anniversaries but his wife does. His wife forbids their children to remind him of her birthday, so his secretary reminds him. On that particular birthday of his wife, his secretary had reminded him but it had been too late to get her flowers. However, one of his patients had died recently and the family (Italian) had been very grateful for the years that he had takne care of their father. That day, the family had sent him a bouquet of very expensive flowers with a card. Puzzled what to do, he had had a brilliant idea: give the flowers to his wife! “No you can’t do that!” his secretary had exclaimed but he had said, “Yes, I could”, erasing his name on the card, and penciling in his wife’s. So, he had gone home with the flowers. “It’s your Mom’s birthday. Where is she?”, he had asked his daughter who replied sharply, “Who told you about Mom’s B-day?” He had replied, “No one. Nobody. I remembered. He gave his wife the flowers with the card and she had been very happy he remembered. But his wife had not particularly liked the flowers and had gone to the florist the following day.
“My husband bought this for me yesterday but I would like to exchange them please.”
“What name please?” The florist could not find her husband’s name.
“No one by that name bought any flowers yesterday but this bouquet was bought by an Italian family”, the florist had said, puzzled.
His wife had gone home angry and did not speak to him for days.
Genetic truth: Men do not remember birthdays and anniversaries. Women have an emotional need that their husband remembers these important everyday events. Remember, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. “ The best solution is to just inform him, “It’s our wedding anniversary tomorrow.” It takes away 50% of the romance however, so one has to be creative. I usually drop plenty of hints the night before.
Last January 31, I asked my husband: “Tomorrow is February 1st. What important event happened that day?” He had been fixing his ghattra (long flowing headdress) in front of the mirror. He had smiled and gave a nervous little laugh. He replied, “Let me see . . . I was born a week after that.” “Yes, indeed”, I replied in a little voice, sighing. He is an Aquarius and the fascinating and interesting story of how he discovered his true birth date is narrated in my book, My Life in Doha: Between Dream and Reality.
I had given up, consoling myself with thought of what he told me recently “I have given you my heart.”
When I came back from the hospital, a bouquet of flowers was waiting for me in our room! He had remembered after all, but only after jiggling his memory cells!
Rachel Hajar, M.D.
My Life in Doha: Between Dream and Reality
http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.c...
www.amazon.com
www.barnesandnoble.com.
With time, as my children grew up, they would remember our wedding anniversary and through them my husband would remember . . .
I can just imagine the predicament of men. Unlike women, they are not good at remembering birthdays and anniversaries but I am positive that they have a knack for remembering a “date” (rendezvous, tryst)! I suppose they are victims of their genes. Science say that women are better than men at remembering everyday events, words, objects, pictures (called episodic memory tasks); men are better at symbolic, non-linguistic information (visual-spatial processing). For example, a man would be more likely to remember his way out of the woods (I never would); a woman is better at remembering the location of car keys, which, according to scientists, requires both verbal and visual-spatial processing. In addition, women are better than men at remembering faces, especially of females and the reason according to scientists is that women allocate more attention to female than male faces. Well, naturally!
I remember a hilarious incident narrated by a friend of ours. He is also a cardiologist and he also does not remember birthdays and anniversaries but his wife does. His wife forbids their children to remind him of her birthday, so his secretary reminds him. On that particular birthday of his wife, his secretary had reminded him but it had been too late to get her flowers. However, one of his patients had died recently and the family (Italian) had been very grateful for the years that he had takne care of their father. That day, the family had sent him a bouquet of very expensive flowers with a card. Puzzled what to do, he had had a brilliant idea: give the flowers to his wife! “No you can’t do that!” his secretary had exclaimed but he had said, “Yes, I could”, erasing his name on the card, and penciling in his wife’s. So, he had gone home with the flowers. “It’s your Mom’s birthday. Where is she?”, he had asked his daughter who replied sharply, “Who told you about Mom’s B-day?” He had replied, “No one. Nobody. I remembered. He gave his wife the flowers with the card and she had been very happy he remembered. But his wife had not particularly liked the flowers and had gone to the florist the following day.
“My husband bought this for me yesterday but I would like to exchange them please.”
“What name please?” The florist could not find her husband’s name.
“No one by that name bought any flowers yesterday but this bouquet was bought by an Italian family”, the florist had said, puzzled.
His wife had gone home angry and did not speak to him for days.
Genetic truth: Men do not remember birthdays and anniversaries. Women have an emotional need that their husband remembers these important everyday events. Remember, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. “ The best solution is to just inform him, “It’s our wedding anniversary tomorrow.” It takes away 50% of the romance however, so one has to be creative. I usually drop plenty of hints the night before.
Last January 31, I asked my husband: “Tomorrow is February 1st. What important event happened that day?” He had been fixing his ghattra (long flowing headdress) in front of the mirror. He had smiled and gave a nervous little laugh. He replied, “Let me see . . . I was born a week after that.” “Yes, indeed”, I replied in a little voice, sighing. He is an Aquarius and the fascinating and interesting story of how he discovered his true birth date is narrated in my book, My Life in Doha: Between Dream and Reality.
I had given up, consoling myself with thought of what he told me recently “I have given you my heart.”
When I came back from the hospital, a bouquet of flowers was waiting for me in our room! He had remembered after all, but only after jiggling his memory cells!
Rachel Hajar, M.D.
My Life in Doha: Between Dream and Reality
http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.c...
www.amazon.com
www.barnesandnoble.com.
