Eileen Wilder's Blog, page 9

21 Days of Self-Care for Busy People

THE ONE HABIT THAT WILL DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE

“Here is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump on the back of his head behind Christopher Robin. It is, as far as he knows, the only way of coming downstairs, but sometimes he feels there really is another way, if only he could stop bumping for a moment & think about it.”– A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

I love the excitement surrounding our upcoming Self Care Challenge and many have written in to say how thrilled they are to carve out some time to refresh, renew and re-up a little time for themselves. I loved this one question a reader had:

“Eileen, but what about “dying to self” isn’t it wrong for me to focus on self-care?”

You’re right. The scriptures do indicate that dying to self is the way to gain life. However, in order for you to truly GIVE of yourself, and it be a true act of altruism, it must be a choice.

If you feel you have no other choice, it’s because you haven’t:

1. Considered another way, OR

2. Your self has been to buried, or neglected to even KNOW what you want.

My friends if you are in these two categories, then it is not “dying to self”.

In fact, Matthew 22:39 says, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” not “instead of yourself”.

I totally get it. Because I couldn’t find balance in this issue I started neglecting my personal health and wellbeing because I never stopped to ask myself this question:

“What is it I want? What do I need?”

I simply didn’t want to bother anybody.

However what I found was that by neglecting this one habit I was not lessening my stress, I was adding to it exponentially. My health suffered as a result. I even developed an eye-twitch y’all.

THE #1 HABIT THAT WILL DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE IS:

Regularly evaluating YOUR goals and needs.

Friends, you are not meant to accomplish someone else’s plan for your life, you’re here to nail the bull’s eye of God’s specific assignment for you.

I want to see you you awaken your dreams, and rediscover your sincerest goals, for then and only THEN will you have the confidence to lay down your life if you want or feel called to.

Let me ask you, what do you think holds you back from taking the time to evaluate YOUR goals? Is it time, job constraints, money issues or lack of motivation?

Let me know by leaving a Comment down below.

And have you signed up for the 21 Day Self-Care Challenge yet? It’s free, fun and starts October 1st! Love to have you inside.

Either way, don’t forget to take time this week to revisit your most important goals –

it’s guaranteed to de-stress your life!

All my love,

Xx Eileen


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SELF CARE FOR BUSY PEOPLE:21 DAYS TO A HAPPIER, HEALTHIER YOU

Have you ever wrestled with unexplainable frustration, exhaustion, and  disappointment?

Have you ever been confused about why you can’t seem to make progress and it seems like you’re just hitting a wall?

Recently, I read that over 35 million people wrestle with a type of  “low grade” depression, called “dysthymia”.

When our sense of meaning, self, and contribution become clouded, often – our personal health, emotional well-being, and relationships suffer greatly as a result.

It’s interesting, the medical title for low grade depression is “dysthymia”, a Greek word that means “bad state of mind.”

Years ago, I had this vague, uneasy sense about myself. It showed up in constant frustration.

Unexplainable exhaustion. A low lying sense of guilt that I was NEVER doing enough.

I had a bad state of mind (BTW: doesn’t this sound like a Billy Joel song title?)

BUT….here’s the thing, it wasn’t once a week…it was all. the. time.

I thought I was just a little “different” or not as “bouncy” as some of my peers. I didn’t realize the root was deeper.

I didn’t realize I was addicted to negative self-talk.

Looking for relief, the only advice I felt I was hearing was to “just get over it.”  Yet, within the hour, I’d be accosted by negative thoughts.

I needed a strategy.

I needed something to do.

I needed to fight negative self-talk with a plan.

But… how does that look exactly? What do you do when your numb and don’t know where to start?

It wasn’t until I learned that self-care was the antidote for emotional exhaustion that things started getting better for me personally.   After learning about the art of self-care, I discovered I was doing a few, very key things wrong.

To jumpstart your own wellness journey, here are a few keys to get started:

1. SELF CARE IS SPIRITUAL.

Understand that self care is spiritual. Jesus was the king of self-care. He did this by taking time for himself, drawing away and nourishing his soul. In fact, it is recorded Jesus did this over 14 times in the New Testament.

 

2. SELF CARE IS RESTORATIVE.

I heard this quote the other day, “Your elevation may require your isolation.”

 

Sometimes, being alone with ourselves to assess, reevaluate and reconnect is JUST the  element we are missing to elevate our entire life.

 

3. SELF CARE IS VITAL.

If you don’t take care of you, who will? Not even your spouse can carve out this time for you. You must prioritize what your spirit, soul and body need – and THEN you will be a better caregiver to the others in your world.

 

You are the only one who can do you.

What would it look like if through proper self-care, we could evaluate our mental state, and ensure we are doing the work that matters most?

What if we could be elevated from a “bad state of mind” to one that’s life-giving and peaceful?

I want to invite you to delve a little deeper take 21 days and invest in yourself.

Beginning October 1st, I’m starting a 21 Day Self-Care Challenge for people who  “know what they have to do but aren’t doing it”. I’d love to have you join us!

The Challenge is designed to guide you from frustration to freedom by giving you the tools you need to evaluate, assess and reconnect with yourself, based on 4 Proven Strategies that actually WORK.

In the Challenge you will receive something short for 21 days, a mix bag of:

short motivational videos
inspirational graphics
Self Care Cheat Sheets

Everything you need have a healthier mind, body and life – delivered right to your inbox.

Take 21 Days to invest in yourself. You will be stronger, feel lighter and actually achieve more – because you’ve taken the time to invest in your most precious asset: you!

With so much love,

 

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P.S. YOU’RE AWESOME.

… and I passionately want to see you built up to the max, so when you sign up you’ll also grab a FREE eBook copy of Amazon’s bestselling “The Brave Body Method: How to Win the War on Weight and Gain Self Acceptance in 4 Easy Steps.”

Can’t wait to see you inside the Challenge!

 

4 STEPS TO KNOW YOU’RE HOT & GET RID OF YOUR BEHIND

“Could you kindly move your behind please?”

“What was … that?” I exclaimed, spinning around to address the voice.

It was then I realized my rear end was in the way, keeping the man from his table.  Recognizing the hilarity of the situation, we both erupted in laughter, causing looks of irritation from those grabbing lunch around us.

Having just delivered my third child, I was 60 pounds over my normal weight. In my present state, I was unaware of my new body dimensions. Granted, my bottom was much rounder than normal, but in a strange phenomenon unique to childbearing, it had also grown horizontally.

It was as if a small shelf was now attached to my backside.

Why, the man could have rested his coffee on my behind if he had wanted to!

In that moment, it was as if time stood still. The lyric of the laughter, the aghast look on the gentleman’s face—life played in surreal slow motion as I contemplated:

I hadn’t always been as kind to my body as I was being now.

In fact, we had been vicious enemies for over two decades.

The moment lasted only seconds, but within the sound of the laughter was the echo of my freedom. I recognized something profound in this corner bistro, something that had eluded me throughout my youth:

I had finally made peace with my behind.

When what lies behind you is disappointment with your weight or frustration that you just can’t seem to move forward—it’s easy to let what’s behind you, define you.

As a 20-year-old, I had been so long involved with disordered eating that I began to believe disorder was my future.

I couldn’t imagine a world where I would wake up and not obsess about my body or what I was eating.

I couldn’t imagine living light and free, devoid of the aching insecurity and depression that had become my constant companions.

I desperately wanted to experience a different reality, but I had no idea how.

My big behind was in the way.

It was as if there lay a chasm between who I longed to be—healthy, radiant, secure, confident—and who I saw in the mirror.  All I saw was a girl—overweight, unstable, with a side of cray-cray.

I simply could not figure out how to cross this chasm of impossibility, how to find the invisible bridge to my potential that would lead me to become who I wanted to be.

Have you ever felt like it would take a miracle to get you to your destiny?

Indeed, the greatest miracle we may ever experience is to become who we really are.  The bravest adventure we may ever embark upon is believing the Promise is greater than the problem.

The questione remains: How do we do that exactly?

Here are 4 simple ways to KNOW YOUR HOT & Get Rid of your Behind:

Step 1: KNOW YOU’RE HOT

Understand that you are not an accident, you are a Masterpiece. You are a ROYAL daughter sent from heaven! Your purpose is to shower heaven’s benefits upon someone else.  Start walking around like you are “somebody”.  Your confidence is what ministers to others the most!

Step 2: INFLICT DAMAGE

Start understanding that your words are not just meant to describe things – they are meant to destroy some of the lies and ties that are binding you. Start declaring who you are, rather than what you feel – and you will literally starting piercing the darkness of your personal storms.

Start by finding one of the Scriptures on this list and saying it 3 times a day, morning, lunchtime and before bed.

Step 3: SEE THE GOD PAINTING

Without Vision – you are perishing (Prv. 29:18)  Start daydreaming, on purpose, some of the goals you want to achieve in the next three months:

What do you want to start, where do you want to go, who do you want to meet?  Invite God to show you what He has for you (Jer. 33:3).

Attach visual images, magazine cut outs, photographs – anything that gives you that jolt of enthusiasm when you look at it. Start by looking at your goals every day, in the morning or before bed.

Step 4: START BEFORE YOU ARE READY

Lastly, start moving toward one of those goals – before you feel like you want to. This is crucial, because perfectionism is the mother of procrastination.

Before you feel like you know enough, have the right shoes, and have it all together, start the tiniest bit of motion toward your goal. Lean into it.  Buy the kale, put the bottles of water out on the counter, write that thing, make that call – then watch out, Momentum is going to start working for you. Say “I don’t delay, I start today.”

If your tired of the stress and overwhelm of “knowing what you have to do but not doing it” I encourage you to dig deeper into these four steps through my FREE 21 Day Challenge.

Subscribe to the Challenge here: http://www.bravebodymethod.com

The Challenge is based on The Brave Body Method, 4 proven strategies to help you achieve goals and improve your thinking that actually WORK.

This free challenge is for those who want to:

take their self-care to the next level
develop a daily habit of Bible reading
looking to get rid of old mindsets
enrich their freedom
secure their identity in Christ
develop healthier habits

In the Challenge you will receive short motivational videos, inspirational graphics and the tools you need to succeed at a healthier mind, body and life – delivered right to your inbox.

Take 21 Days to invest in yourself. You will be stronger, achieve more and proud of the work you’ve accomplished.

Can’t wait to meet you & see you inside the Challenge!

http://www.bravebodymethod.com

4 STEPS TO KNOW YOU’RE HOT & GET RID OF YOUR BEHIND

“Could you kindly move your behind please?”

“What was … that?” I exclaimed, spinning around to address the voice.

It was then I realized my rear end was in the way, keeping the man from his table.  Recognizing the hilarity of the situation, we both erupted in laughter, causing looks of irritation from those grabbing lunch around us.

Having just delivered my third child, I was 60 pounds over my normal weight. In my present state, I was unaware of my new body dimensions. Granted, my bottom was much rounder than normal, but in a strange phenomenon unique to childbearing, it had also grown horizontally.

It was as if a small shelf was now attached to my backside.

Why, the man could have rested his coffee on my behind if he had wanted to!

In that moment, it was as if time stood still. The lyric of the laughter, the aghast look on the gentleman’s face—life played in surreal slow motion as I contemplated:

I hadn’t always been as kind to my body as I was being now.

In fact, we had been vicious enemies for over two decades.

The moment lasted only seconds, but within the sound of the laughter was the echo of my freedom. I recognized something profound in this corner bistro, something that had eluded me throughout my youth:

I had finally made peace with my behind.

When what lies behind you is disappointment with your weight or frustration that you just can’t seem to move forward—it’s easy to let what’s behind you, define you.

As a 20-year-old, I had been so long involved with disordered eating that I began to believe disorder was my future.

I couldn’t imagine a world where I would wake up and not obsess about my body or what I was eating.

I couldn’t imagine living light and free, devoid of the aching insecurity and depression that had become my constant companions.

I desperately wanted to experience a different reality, but I had no idea how.

My big behind was in the way.

It was as if there lay a chasm between who I longed to be—healthy, radiant, secure, confident—and who I saw in the mirror.  All I saw was a girl—overweight, unstable, with a side of cray-cray.

I simply could not figure out how to cross this chasm of impossibility, how to find the invisible bridge to my potential that would lead me to become who I wanted to be.

Have you ever felt like it would take a miracle to get you to your destiny?

Indeed, the greatest miracle we may ever experience is to become who we really are.  The bravest adventure we may ever embark upon is believing the Promise is greater than the problem.

The questione remains: How do we do that exactly?

Here are 4 simple ways to KNOW YOUR HOT & Get Rid of your Behind:

Step 1: KNOW YOU’RE HOT

Understand that you are not an accident, you are a Masterpiece. You are a ROYAL daughter sent from heaven! Your purpose is to shower heaven’s benefits upon someone else.  Start walking around like you are “somebody”.  Your confidence is what ministers to others the most!

Step 2: INFLICT DAMAGE

Start understanding that your words are not just meant to describe things – they are meant to destroy some of the lies and ties that are binding you. Start declaring who you are, rather than what you feel – and you will literally starting piercing the darkness of your personal storms.

Start by finding one of the Scriptures on this list and saying it 3 times a day, morning, lunchtime and before bed.

Step 3: SEE THE GOD PAINTING

Without Vision – you are perishing (Prv. 29:18)  Start daydreaming, on purpose, some of the goals you want to achieve in the next three months:

What do you want to start, where do you want to go, who do you want to meet?  Invite God to show you what He has for you (Jer. 33:3).

Attach visual images, magazine cut outs, photographs – anything that gives you that jolt of enthusiasm when you look at it. Start by looking at your goals every day, in the morning or before bed.

Step 4: START BEFORE YOU ARE READY

Lastly, start moving toward one of those goals – before you feel like you want to. This is crucial, because perfectionism is the mother of procrastination.

Before you feel like you know enough, have the right shoes, and have it all together, start the tiniest bit of motion toward your goal. Lean into it.  Buy the kale, put the bottles of water out on the counter, write that thing, make that call – then watch out, Momentum is going to start working for you. Say “I don’t delay, I start today.”

If your tired of the stress and overwhelm of “knowing what you have to do but not doing it” I encourage you to dig deeper into these four steps through my FREE 21 Day Challenge.

Subscribe to the Challenge here: http://www.bravebodymethod.com

The Challenge is based on The Brave Body Method, 4 proven strategies to help you achieve goals and improve your thinking that actually WORK.

This free challenge is for those who want to:

take their self-care to the next level
develop a daily habit of Bible reading
looking to get rid of old mindsets
enrich their freedom
secure their identity in Christ
develop healthier habits

In the Challenge you will receive short motivational videos, inspirational graphics and the tools you need to succeed at a healthier mind, body and life – delivered right to your inbox.

Take 21 Days to invest in yourself. You will be stronger, achieve more and proud of the work you’ve accomplished.

Can’t wait to meet you & see you inside the Challenge!

http://www.bravebodymethod.com

#HARPERSMIRACLE

“WE WRITE HOW THIS STORY WILL END.”

-HUNTER & JOY WILDER

 

By the time Hunter, my brother-in-law, found Harper, 2 years old – she was floating lifeless, in the deep end of the pool.

A sudden dive.

A series of CPR attempts.

The sound of screaming and scurrying of children looking on.

It was a living nightmare.

Every parents worst fear coming to pass.

Joy, Harper’s mother, upon rushing to the scene said:

“There were absolutely no signs of life. She looked completely gone. Her face and lips were very blue,  her stomach was so full of water, she looked almost pregnant.  She was hovering on that fine line of life and death… but when I was doing CPR, I felt like we were trying to pull her back to the land of the living.”

Video surveillance footage confirmed the total time Harper was in the water.

13 minutes.

Arriving at the hospital, a doctor confirmed they though they found a heartbeat, she would most likely be brain damaged for the rest of her life.

Hunter remembers simply walking away while the doctor was still talking. He walked straight to his mother, Linda, and said: “Tell everyone. We need to pray.”

And pray, you did.

Through a serious of progressive miracles, Harper is now walking, playing and giggling. She is totally 100% healed.

When I asked Joy & Hunter, what they were thinking when the doctor spoke of brain damage, they said deep down, they felt a voice saying:

“No. We get to decide. We write how this story will end.“

Filling the room with scriptures, worship and promises, they permeated the atmosphere with the voice of hope.  Our Pastor, Dennis Pisani, says it best: “Your life is a reflection of whose voice you listen to.”

Hunter and Joy were deciding faith would be that voice.

Recounting how she navigated those moments, Joy said:

“I didn’t Google. I didn’t read statistics. I disciplined my mind to come back to the result we wanted. I pictured her riding her tricycle, laughing, back to herself. Totally restored.”

 

Harper’s Miracle, in a way, has become all of our miracle.

Her recovery, our own recovery.

From life’s deepest woundings.

Apparent deaths.

That pervasive sense of hovering doubt.

After watching Harper’s story on social media, two men, after years of dispute – reconciled.

Another young woman said she didn’t pray before, but she prayed the first time ever, for Harper.

Still another gentleman who didn’t usually come to church, was inspired to join as a result of Harper’s story.

Stories of hope. Inspiration. Of lifeless things coming to life.

“We would have gathered for a funeral, right?” said Sarah, who came to our church just to celebrate Harper’s recovery.

Harper’s story is causing each of us to awaken, come to our senses and believe …

That resurrections do happen.

That lifeless things can come to life.

That miracles are out there, waiting… hovering over each of us.

And with just a little faith,  we get to write the end of our OWN story.

Xx Eileen

 

 

P.S.  Personally, I just want to say our ENTIRE family thanks each of you for your prayer & support. It has meant more than you will ever know.  The amount of stories coming in how Harper’s story has touched people is astounding.

Let us know in the comments below, how has Harper’s Miracle impacted you?

 

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ALL ABOARD THE DREAM TRAIN

Sorry guys I’ve been out of touch – I know it’s been some time since we last connected. I’ve missed you!

I got swept away on the “Dream-Train” and have been writing my first book…

I can’t wait to share it with you, I really believe it will encourage you (or a friend) with gaining self-acceptance.

It’s coming out super-soon, April 26, and wanted you to be first to hear about it. Of course for being apart of my blog, I literally can’t wait to send it to you as a gift!

KEEP MAKING PROGRESS – NO MATTER HOW SMALL

I’m convinced more than ever, while we are going about our work, and tending to our families – it’s crucial we tend to the dreams and callings that have been placed inside of us.

Because no matter what, progress upon your dreams is vital to your life.

I think one reason we don’t board the Dream Train is we just don’t know how to move forward, so we stay STUCK ON THE LANDING PLATFORM of life.

I was so stuck on how to move forward on writing, I thought I’d missed the Dream Train permanently. It wasn’t until I found the power of “speaking out my dream” to others, that things began shifting. It really made me own it.

I read where prior to battle, the Tartar Tribes of Central Asia used to make a pronouncement over their enemies. It had nothing to do with their ability to overpower or wipe out their enemy in battle.

Instead their curse was:

“May you stay in one place forever.”

That’s what your negative self-talk desires for you, to stay the same this year as you were last year.

Be determined not to settle-

Keep moving forward, no matter how silly or little the steps may seem.

I want to encourage you to speak out your dreams and goals to a friend, or someone close, so you can keep moving towards them.

I believe as you do that…you’ll discover you can do more than you THINK you can, this year.

I’d love to hear what helps you, and is keeping you motivated?

Leave a comment below, you never know how your insight can encourage and help someone else!

You’ve Got What it Takes to Finish!

Have you ever felt like you just didn’t have what it takes to finish something?

I have. I was so intimidated starting this Blog and sharing about the issues I’ve dealt with. I wasn’t sure if people were going to judge me, criticize me, or worse – think I was a bad writer.

No matter where I turned, a tsunami of self-doubt would crash over me every time I even thought about starting.

Here’s the thing. What I found out was: the devil is a liar.

“ You’ve got what it takes to finish it up, so go to it. ” – 2 Cor. 8:11 

By just moving forward anyway, I wrote this one post about my struggle with eating disorders.

As a result of that post, I now have the privilege of sharing on a TV program called LifeToday this upcoming week. Crazy right?

How many lives are going to be radically influenced as a result of YOUR finishing?

Move forward. You’ve got what it takes! Seriously. Go to it.

Here for you,

No One is Going to Choose You. So Go Ahead and Pick Yourself.

In reflecting on the tragic loss of  Robin Williams’ this week, we truly lost one of the greatest comedic genius’ of all time.

I was truly heart broken at the passing of this great man.  I was reminded  that while outwardly we can be entertaining others, inside there is often an entirely different narrative at play.   

I know in my own personal struggles, depression can feel like a storm of thunderous silence.  

We can be constantly looking outside for affirmation, because inside – there we have a vacuum of validation.  

We can get caught up in a cycle of reaching for the approval of:

some authority
some guy or girl
some crowd
some influencer at the top of the career chain

It’s as if we are standing on the sidelines of the proverbial Gym class, shuffling our Keds in the dirt… 

WAITING TO GET PICKED.

I have news: All the cool kids have left the building.

You’re going to have to pick yourself.

Dr. Brene Brown says thoughts of self-doubt and unworthiness — or “gremlin thinking,” as she calls it — can prove dangerous. But she says there are three things you can do right now to stop the vicious cycle:

1. Talk to yourself like you talk to someone you love. 
2. Reach out to someone you trust.
3. Tell your story. 
“Shame cannot survive being spoken.” 
– Brene Brown

If this resonates with you, consider sharing it on social media & commenting below on your thoughts! Someone just may need the contribution you have to offer.

DO THAT SCARY THING. JUST DO IT AFRAID.

Have you ever been faced with the kind of fear that simply paralyzes?

I remember having such severe anxiety attacks, I couldn’t breathe.

I remember when I was so afraid of social situations, I’d get nauseous and sick.

I remember this past Monday, when I was about to press “SEND”  to launch my eBook, feeling vulnerable and unsure.

Why do we face fear so often? This is why: because it’s often a sign of our calling.

 “Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator.
Fear tells us what we have to do.” 
– Stephen Pressfield, in the War of Art

 

 Here’s what I’ve found:  Do it. Just do it afraid.

I wrote Fierce, because I was too unhappy keeping it in. And I wrote it afraid.

But you know what? I survived! The ground didn’t swallow me up.  And now – Fierce is even encouraging others. Crazy things happen when you do it afraid.

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Be fierce with Fear. Do it afraid.  Because the world needs what you have to offer!

 

 

If you’ve read Fierce,  what did you think? I’d love to hear your reaction in the Comments below!  or pass it along to someone YOU know needs some encouragement!

“This book is a must read. It gives practical, actionable principles to move past fear and embrace the confident person you were created to be.”  – Daryl