Lise MacTague's Blog, page 5

Five Moons Rising

By Lucas Cranach the Elder (1472–1553)

Now that I’m writing my way through the final climax and denouement of my current work, I feel like it’s time to share what I’ve been working on. It’s called Five Moons Rising, and it’s my first attempt at paranormal sci-fi.

It’s been kicking around almost two years now. I actually started writing it for NaNoWriMo the year before last. I have to confess that 2013’s NaNo was an unmitigated disaster for me. Not because of the writing’s quality, but because November 2013 is when my relationship of fourteen years finally unraveled completely. So…it was a little difficult to concentrate of Five Moons. Also, I could tell things from my personal life were working their way into the draft, and not in a way that improved the story. So after about 30,000 words, I set it aside.

Life happened, like it does. My first novel finally started going through the editing process. (That was a fun experience, and I’ll have to talk about it some other time.) I started a new novel, because I can’t not have a new project going. I wrote a short story which is awaiting its third rejection. (I’ll be posting it on here if it gets passed over again, so keep your fingers crossed.) But all that time, Five Moons kept churning in my head. Finally, a few months ago, I got to the point where I had to decide whether to get back to work on it, or put aside the new novel I’d been noodling on, to the tune of 50,000 words.

So what is it, you ask? I know, I’ve been blithering on about the birth story of my story, but I haven’t told you much of anything beyond the title and that it’s paranormal in nature.

Like many paranormal stories, it takes place in a present day parallel universe where werewolves, vampires, and other things that go bump in the night are real. Unlike a number of other paranormal novels, humans are mostly unaware of the existence of these creatures. They live alongside us, but under our radar. They are the things that make the hairs on the backs of our necks stand up. Ruri Hakonsson is one of those creatures. The local werewolf pack’s Beta, she ends up suddenly and decisively on her own when a lone wolf murders her Alpha outside the traditional dominance struggle. Cast out of her former pack and alone, she struggles to survive without the family structure she’s depended on for decades.

For her part, Mary Alice “Malice” Nolan is a government-trained and modified super-soldier, created for the sole purpose of keeping the monsters in check. Her function is judge, jury, and executioner over Chicago’s paranormal community. She is sent to check on the new situation with the werewolf pack, and kills a pack member. The new Alpha takes exception and has Malice’s sister, Cassidy, attacked and put on the path to turning.

Desperate to find someone who can shepherd Cassidy through the change, Malice does what any sister with genetically-enhanced strength and senses would, and kidnaps a werewolf. Ruri, having finally started to get her life back on track is less than amused when she is forcefully dragged and held in the situation. Her life rests on Cassidy’s continued survival, but the circumstances of the attack make that very uncertain.

Complications arise when Malice’s handler calls in another super-soldier to help her get a handle on the rogue pack. Malice finds herself in a situation where she has to choose between her duty to her country, her family, and a shot at love.

 

What five months has taught me

By Tzetzes (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Everything has been moving at breakneck pace since Depths of Blue came out in April. It’s my debut novel, and I’ve learned a lot in the five months since it came out. I’ve learned that being a published author is a lot of work. I don’t mean that in a bad way, but I’ve never been more aware of the amount of work that goes on around the work. The act of writing, polishing, more polishing, and looking for a publisher seemed like enough on its own, and yet that turned out to be only the beginning of the process, and its least complicated part.

I was told that every author (and I’m sure individual results may vary to some degree) has the last work, the current work, and the next work under way at any given time. What does that mean for me? It means I’ve had to figure out how to get where the readers are. I’m hooked into social media (Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr). I’ve started a blog. I’ve claimed my author name from Amazon.com. I’m on Goodreads. That’s a lot of screen time! I still have a full time job to attend to as well.

The engagement has allowed me to do a couple of things. For one, it’s allowed me to obsessively track what Depths is doing. Is anyone reading it? The answer to that one seems to be yes, which has been an immense relief for me. There’s nothing more terrifying than letting a piece of yourself go off into the world, and it’s been gratifying to find that people have read and connected to it. I hope that more people do, and that they continue to follow Jak and Torrin’s journey through Heights of Green and A Vortex of Crimson.

The other half of engagement has been putting myself out there for readers. This is difficult for me. No one ever believes me when I tell them that I’m actually very shy, but it’s true. The response from those who have read Depths has been fantastic and encouraging in the extreme. Bit by bit, I’m putting myself out there a little more. It’s a process, but it’s one I’m less trepidatious of undertaking. I’m even planning to attend my first con in July. That is a huge step for me as one-on-one interactions make me break out in a cold sweat. I’d happily present to a room of 100 people, but ask me to make small talk to one person, and I’m in sweaty palms territory. I’m hoping the GCLS convention in Washington, DC will be as much fun as it looked in all the pictures, and I hope it will be one more step to getting over my fears.

So that’s the last book. The current book has been getting Heights of Green in shape for its November release. As they were last time, the folks at Bella Books have been fantastic. I have another bang-up cover thanks again to Sandy Knowles. The inimitable Medora MacDougall has shepherded me through another editing process, and once again the finished piece is so much better for her attentions. The Bella staff have been great about keeping me on schedule, and thanks to their hard work Heights looks to be out on time. The proofs are back in their hot little hands, and they look great.

Because of the way I wrote the trilogy, I include A Vortex of Crimson in my “current book” bucket. It’s been submitted and accepted by Bella. After going through the editing process on Heights, I now know there are some passages which need to be rewritten to match changes that happened as a result of the editing process in Heights. I’m very excited to make those changes, I think they’ll make the final book of the series that much more compelling. Once Medora finished her editing magic on that one, I’ll be even prouder to offer it up to all of you.

And finally, the next book. And the one after that. And maybe a few after that. Five Moons Rising is my next book, and one that Bella is interested in! It represents a departure from the space opera setting of On Deception’s Edge. I’m getting down and dirty with supernatural creatures and working out some of my ideas around the genre. It promises to be much grittier and darker than any novel with sparkly vampires could ever hope to be. There will still be badass heroines battling to be with each other, though Malice and Riss are squared off as much against each other as they are their enemies. The writing process for Five Moons has been much different than it was for Deception’s Edge. It’s been much more of a discovery to get through the story, where Deception’s Edge was fixed pretty firmly in my mind before I ever started writing it. It was the product of a few years’ worth of insomnia, after all.

I’ve been noodling on three or four more ideas. I have my next three books lined up, at least potentially. Right now, the big question is in which order do I tackle them, and what other ideas will I come up with in the meantime. The well won’t be running dry anytime soon, and my biggest challenge is not getting distracted from the current work by the shiny new plot.

All in all, five month has taught me that I’m a better juggler than I thought I’d have to be. As with any other career, it isn’t only the act of doing that takes the time, it’s all the moving pieces that go on around in support of the doing. Every task includes prep, doing, cleanup, and maintenance. It’s so easy to forget about three out of four of those steps when in the midst of doing.

I’ve also learned that being out there isn’t as scary as I thought it would be. I’ve found a community, another one. The other writers I’ve found have been open, warm, supportive, and endlessly accepting of my questions. Hopefully, my day will come and I’ll be able to pass what I’ve learned on to the next group.

Finally, there’s no substitute for overcoming fear and moving forward. I learn by doing, and I’ve learned so much from this last part of the process. I know there’s so much more to come, and just maybe, that I’m up to the task.

Depths of Blue giveaways!

Heights of Green, the sequel to Depths of Blue will be out in two months! To prepare, I will be giving away four copies of Depths of Blue. There are four ways to enter, which potentially equals four chances to win. Giveaways are happening via Amazon.com, Goodreads, Facebook, and Twitter.

Goodreads Book Giveaway


Depths of Blue
by Lise MacTague

Giveaway ends September 23, 2015.

See the giveaway details

at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

The Amazon.com giveaway is now live as well. Click on through to enter.

Like, comment, or share on the entry post on Facebook to be entered to win. And yes, each one of those counts as an entry, so like, comment, and for three entries to win! Check out my Facebook page for the giveaway status.

Finally, retweet or favorite the giveaway tweet on Twitter to win there as well. Bip on over to @LiseMactague, or go right to the tweet.

Phew, that’s a lot of giveaways, so you have plenty of chances of winning. Winners will be announced in one week, on September 22nd.

Keep it tuned to any of my social media platforms for chances to win signed copies of Heights of Green when it comes out in November.

 

For me, gay marriage meant divorce

I’ve been struggling with whether or not to even write this post. On the one hand, the legalization of gay marriage was such a wonderful event, and I don’t want to bring anybody down. On the other hand, there are plenty of people who will point to posts like this one and say “See, this is why the gays shouldn’t be allowed to get married. Everyone knows they bounce from one relationship to another.” Never mind that the divorce rate in America is somewhere between 40% and 50%. (Check out the CDC numbers on divorce and marriage here, or this fascinating New York Times article that tracks divorce rates by the decade in which couples were married. It suggests the divorce rate may actually be going down.)

Still, divorce is a reality for many people who get married, no matter what the official numbers are, and it’s a reality for me.

October 6th, 2014 should have been a wonderful day for me. Instead, it remains bittersweet in my memory. On that day, the Supreme Court of the United States declined to take up the state of Wisconsin’s case appeal as to the constitutionality of its gay marriage ban, effectively legalizing same-sex marriage in the state. I remember being incredibly elated and desperately sad, in a swirling mish-mash of contradictory feelings I hope I never have to experience again.

My soon-to-be ex-wife and I were married in 2006 after gay marriage was legalized in Manitoba, the province in which I was born, and where I still have family. That was an amazing day, one I still remember fondly, despite what has come since. At that time, I was desperately happy, but things changed. The blame can be laid at both our feet, I think. I know I certainly bear my fair share. My ex is a wonderful woman, however, after eight years we had grown in different directions. My life and my career were taking off, while hers was starting to wind down, and I was no longer able to breach the gap that had grown between us. There were many issues there, and I don’t intend to go into them, that’s not what this post is about. Suffice it to say, I’ve never borne her any ill-will.

That October day, I could get a divorce without having to go back to Winnipeg. So while I was thrilled that I was now legally married in Wisconsin, my excitement was tempered by the fact that it also meant I could put a final and legal end to my irretrievably-broken marriage. That is what I have been doing for the past six months.

The process is difficult. It’s emotionally draining and every time I have to deal with it and my ex, I feel like I’ve been put through the wringer. I can understand how divorcees can end up hating each other, even with the best of intentions to remain amicable. Even if they hadn’t hated each other before the divorce, it’s difficult not to be pulled into the resentment and frustration of the process and end up hating the other by the end. There are days I have to remind myself that the process is what’s frustrating me. Some days I even believe it.

It’s been an emotional marathon, compounded by the fact that we have a house we’re working on getting into shape to sell, which only adds another layer of sadness. I can still recall the excitement I had when we moved in, and readying it for sale to someone else hurts. Neither of us is in a position to keep it on our own, so it’s the right decision, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Incidentally, that’s not a terrible metaphor for my decision to end things between us.

As hard as it’s been, it would be soooooo much more difficult to go through all of this outside the courts. Divorce is hard and it sucks so much more than I anticipated, but having to disentangle two lives without the benefit of legal structure would be infinitely worse. I watched a very good friend of mine go through that years ago after her six-year relationship with her girlfriend failed. The crap her ex put my friend through is not to be believed. It’s something I wouldn’t have believed if I hadn’t witnessed much of it myself. To discover that anyone is capable of doing such things to the person they once claimed to love is incredibly saddening. It’s even worse when it was someone I had liked.

So yes, gay marriages will sometimes end in divorce, probably at the same rate as straight marriages I would imagine. But the right to get divorced, the right to rationally and legally disentangle on life from another is just as important as the right to inherit from your spouse, or to visit the in the hospital, or to raise your children upon the death of the other. It’s as important as sharing benefits, filing taxes together, and the hundreds of other rights and benefits afforded to married couples. The rights and benefits of marriage are hugely important to gays, just as they are to heterosexuals. The right to be married has been incredibly important to our community, but just as important is the right to end a marriage.

This post may anger some people and it may vindicate others, but there you have it. I would love to say that I had nothing but happiness over that October 2014 decision and the one of this past summer, but I was of two minds. However, those decisions meant I could end one chapter of my life.

Now I’ll work on starting the next.

Work-work-life balance

“Callosciurus finlaysonii – Finlayson’s squirrel (variable squirrel)” by Rushenb – Own work.

Holy crap, I just looked up and realized it’s September! Where did the time go? I had the best intentions, I was going to post something new once a week, or maybe every other week, but here I am over six weeks later.

And what do I have to show for myself in that time? Let’s see, I finished the final draft of A Vortex of Crimson and submitted the manuscript to my publisher, completed the final edits on Heights of Green, and started writing again on my current work: Five Moons Rising. I completed a proposal for that and submitted it to my publisher. If they’re interested, I’ll be working on delivering it to them in April of 2016.

Then there’s my regular full-time job. I love what I do, but it is 40 hours a week I can’t spend on writing.

Finally, family life has been a big commitment I hadn’t counted on. My personal life has been in flux for the past year-and-a-half, but this past spring I moved in with my girlfriend. It’s been great and wonderful and I’m incredibly happy. I’m also learning what it’s like to live with kids. That’s definitely a new experience for me. They’re great, and I really enjoy interacting with them and finding out what makes their squirrely little brains tick. I’m surprised more often than not by what they’re thinking. It’s been a while since I was their age and I only have the vaguest recollection of what it was like to be an almost-teen.

Schedules and deadlines have always been important to me, but kids throw a heaping double-handful of chaos into the mix, or so it seems to me. I have a much greater appreciation for what my parents had to deal with between my three brothers and me.

In all that chaos, carving out some time for writing has become a much bigger challenge than it was when I was dealing with the slow disintegration of my previous relationship. I think there’s something to the idea that creation happens best through unhappiness. While I don’t agree that great works can only be created when one is unhappy, there’s a certain something to be said for being able to seek refuge from your life in your art. Now that I no longer feel the need to hide from my life, I’ve had a harder time motivating myself to set time aside to attend to my writing.

That’s not to say that I don’t feel the urge to write, I do. I have notes scribbled all over the place, just waiting for that magic moment when I’ll have the time, the inclination, and access to my computer. Sadly, those magic moments don’t come along very often (read: at all).

What it comes down to is that I got out of the habit of writing every day. The habit may have been formed as a response to my own unhappiness, but it was habit nonetheless. It’s up to me to reforge the habit under happier circumstances and to see the kinds of stories that result from a better place.

I’ve taken the first step and I’ve written every day (with a small break to explore caves in Iowa with the family). I’m making progress, though the words still aren’t flowing the way they were when I wrote for 512 straight days to get the On Deception’s Edge trilogy out of my head.

It gets easier every day, and I’m excited to see how Five Moons comes out.

New projects are the best projects, the best projects I know

I was at Home Depot the other day. I love that place! I mean, sure it’s stereotypical ***insert hardware store-lesbian hookup place joke here*** but there’s something incredibly appealing to me about a Home Depot, or an Ace Hardware, or Menards. It isn’t the power tools, or at least it’s not just the power tools. No, I think what it really comes down to is the sense of potential I feel when I’m surrounded by the raw materials and tools it takes to create something new.

I feel the same way about writing, especially when I’m starting out on a new story. My favorite part of the process is when the concept has bubbled up in my brain and I’m working out the plot and the characters. The enjoyment starts before I’ve even begun to put (digital) pen to (virtual) paper to start the actual narrative. The best part is that the tools and the materials are always with me. I don’t have to go to a store to get them, I can sit down and start crafting right away.

Sure, the creation process may slow down a bit for research, but no creative process is complete without reference materials. Whether it’s photos for a sketch, schematics for a building project, or good old background information on stellar phenomena, it’s part of the process that I love. It must be the librarian in me, but research feels like I’m building the strong foundation upon which everything else is built.

Then there’s the development of the structure. I like an outline, though I don’t write religiously according to it and my outlines tend to be very loose. I also tend to deviate from my roadmap to explore interesting little side trips that come up while I’m doing the actual writing. I can’t start writing without knowing where I plan to end up; I have an absolute horror of getting lost, but that’s a topic for another post.

Once the roadmap has been developed, it’s time to set out. I love writing and feeling the story take shape beneath my hands is one of the most gratifying experiences ever. It goes swimmingly for the first third of the story. The beginning is fantastic, the characters are taking shape, there’s an obstacle for them to overcome and they do! And the characters start feeling an attraction for each other, and maybe they’re falling in love. Then the middle of the book comes along and things grind to a stop.

So what does this mean? For me, it means that I love starting projects, which is really great and also kind of terrible. I currently have four stories under various stages of construction, and those are the ones for which I’ve only started the narrative. That doesn’t include the four others for which I’ve started noodling out the concept. The problem isn’t writer’s block, quite the opposite. My biggest obstacle to productivity is the lure of a new project. The shiniest and most exciting ones are the projects that have just appeared on the horizon. They have an allure that is very hard for me to resist. Sure, I come back to the old projects and pick them up after I’ve gone and poked at the new one for a while, but there’s always room for more newness.

I’m only now starting to try ways of dealing with this compunction. I have enough story ideas to keep me going for the next decade, and I definitely don’t want to cap the fount of ideas, but I need to focus on what’s on my plate. I can’t be going looking for more buffets while the food I already have cools in front of me.

A big help has been a deadline. Even if they’re only self-imposed, I find there’s nothing like an impending deadline to help me focus. The other thing that helps is the establishment of a routine. Getting back into the writing routine has been difficult of late. My home circumstances have changed and I’m in a new relationship, and there are now children in the house. There are all sorts of new challenges and trying to figure out how to nurture a new relationship in the midst of learning how to live with kids has been a lot to wrap my head around. Life has a way of happening, no matter how inconvenient it might be, and life is really good right now.

I’ve established my routine, and I’m doing my best to stick to it. If I can stick to one hour a day of writing-related activities on weekdays and two hours a day on weekends, I should be able to finish the first draft of one of my pending projects in just a few months. Then I will reward myself by noodling on a completely new story before going back and completing one of the other patiently-waiting stories. All I need to do now is make sure I don’t get too distracted by something shiny.

Like that one over there…

Of Diaries and Blogging

The diary of someone much more interesting than I am.

When I was a kid, I had a diary. Actually, I had as many as three, at various ages. I would religiously record my thoughts every night for a week. Then I would wait a week before writing a very short entry. And then nothing.

I went through this exercise three times before realizing that journaling just wasn’t for me. I had a really wonderful childhood, but it wasn’t that exciting. I suppose I could have written about the books I was reading, since I was an especially voracious reader (I wish I had that much time these days), but I was always too interested in the next book to take the time to write anything down. I did very poorly in the library’s summer reading program because I couldn’t be bothered to record what I’d read, there were more books to read, people! Didn’t they understand that I was on a deadline? I only had two months of summer break, not the almost three months that American children get.

Fast forward thirty years later, and not a whole lot has changed. I still have a great life, though I have less time for reading. These days, my life is taken up with my girlfriend and her kids, work, writing, and hockey, in that order. I read as much as I can, but I certainly don’t plow through books like I used to. It’s just not that exciting.

Why am I telling you all of this? It’s pretty much a preemptive apology for being a terrible blogger. I will come and go, and pass on what’s happening in my life, and what I think on various topics. I have no idea what will appeal to anyone who is reading this blog, though I’m happy to take suggestions!

So come along on this herky-jerky journey, if you dare.

Heights of Green out in November 2015

I’m pleased to announce that the sequel to Depths of Blue will be coming out in November of this year. Heights of Green picks up where Depths left off.

Here’s the blurb: Torrin Ivanov’s homecoming wasn’t the smooth, triumphant process she’d imagined. She almost killed her girlfriend Jak Stowell in their escape and now that they’re planetside, the intrigue of her business occupies all her time.

Jak believed the lies Torrin told her, that things would be better when she got home. Shocked and betrayed, Jak dedicates herself to training militia-women, spending her days as far away from Torrin as possible. But Jak’s new friends have their own agendas and her internal compass has gone haywire, severely compromising her safety in the field.

When a militia member dies and Jak disappears, Torrin begins a desperate race against time—this time around, Jak’s life depends on her.

For more information, check out the Bella Books website.

 

Dear bigots: It’s not me, it’s you. An open letter to homophobes everywhere.

While on Facebook recently, I noticed that a friend of mine recently posted an answer to the question “Is that a boy or a girl?” His answer was, “It doesn’t matter.”

It’s a question that hits close to home for me. As someone who conforms very little to the “norms” of my gender, I’ve been asked this question on more than one occasion. I’ve also been aware that you were asking this question about me. After a lifetime of questioning, I’ve become adept at identifying the pointing, the snickering, and the disgusted looks.

The answer is an excellent one, but it begs further questioning. Why does it even matter? Why does it matter that I look different than what you I should in your narrow frame of reference on gender? How does the fact that I prefer to wear cargo pants and t-shirts make me less of a person because it may challenge your pre-conceived notions?

I am female, that doesn’t mean I need to be feminine to be worthy of being treated as a human being. I act the way I do because it reflects who I am. I dress the way I do because that is what I’m comfortable wearing. The last time I tried to wear a dress, I had an asthma attack, so don’t tell me that if I don’t want to mistaken as male, I need to dress more like I “should” be. Why do I need to stay in the safe little box you’ve created for me so as not to make you uncomfortable?

This is how I’ve been all my life, and there’s nothing wrong with it. The problem doesn’t lie with me, the problem lies with those of you who, for some reason, feel threatened by the way I choose to express who I am.

The fault lies with the men who gay-bashed me and the guy I was dating (the only heterosexual relationship I’ve ever been in), because they thought they saw two men holding hands.

The fault lies with the man who followed me off the bus one night, calling me faggot. The one who made me wonder which option was worse, being a faggot, or being female. The one by whom I felt so threatened that running into traffic on a busy street at night seemed like a better option than having him catch up to me.

The fault lies with the women who inform me that I’m in the wrong bathroom, then won’t accept my assurances that I am where I need to be. The women who have made me so self-conscious about going into a public bathroom that I rarely go without another more “feminine” woman to vouch for me. If I don’t have a wing-woman, my palms get sweaty and I make sure I’m humming or speaking when I enter the room so there is less chance I’ll be challenged.

The fault lies with the women who are the reason why I never try on clothing at the store. I would rather take those clothes home with me and make the trip back than go through the pain of being stared or snickered at.

I consider myself to be pretty well-adjusted. I’ve been privileged to have a supportive family and friends who could not care less what I look like as long as I’m happy. My heart bleeds for those who don’t have the same support and opportunities I have had. Those who have to make this stand on their own. Every. Goddamn. Day.

And it is a daily battle, wondering if this is going to be another time where I get yelled at or worse. And worse happens, people. It’s happened to me, it happens to others. No one deserves to get a beating for being themselves, especially when it isn’t hurting anybody else. It certainly shouldn’t be worth anybody’s life. I’ve had it easy compared to what others have had to confront. I am thankful for that fact, and I am greatly saddened by it at the same time.

So, yes, I may be short with you when you ask me if I’m in the right bathroom. And I will look you in the eye when you laugh at me behind your hand. I will correct you when you call me sir, and I may or may not accept your apology. Frankly, it depends on the day, and how tired I am of the whole dance.

The one thing I will not do is apologize for who I am. I am me, and it’s taken me a long time to get here. So I will continue to stand, unbowed and unapologetic as myself. And if you have a problem with that, then that’s your problem.

Because it’s not mine.

Map of Haefen

This was supposed to be a preview for Depths of Blue, but I didn’t quite manage it on time. It’s only a month late, so better late than never. Feel free to download it, print it out, etc… The map here has been significantly reduced in size to allow for decent load times, but I will email larger maps to those who are interested.

So what is it, you ask? It’s the planet Haefen, Jak’s home world. These are the only two continents on the planet, and the action happens mainly in and around the isthmus connecting the two continents.

Map of the world of Haefen, the planet featured in Depths of Blue. Copyright held by Lise MacTague.