J. Alan Veerkamp's Blog, page 16

Free Reads!! Wednesday Briefs – Innocence & Carnality Part 6

Welcome to the next part in my Wednesday Briefs flash fiction serial, Innocence & Carnality! Each chapter has to be between 500 and 1,000 words and this week I chose the prompts, use “charm, door, towel” and “Because I said so, that’s why.”

Family dining with Lord Rother as the guest.

Click here to start from the beginning

Part 6

“My compliments to the chef,” Lord Rother said. Given how he scrubbed at his mouth, a towel might have been a better choice than the napkin in his hand. Mother flinched. With Lord Rother’s lack of fine-tuning she’d had many opportunities.

It wasn’t his fault. The conversation through dinner spoke of a man who wasn’t born to privilege, but earned it. I’d yet to hear details of what his business entailed, but one didn’t speak of financial details during a meal. Apparently, the lord from Francine knew that much.

His etiquette unnerved me at times. For someone of his standing, he held himself like common folk; I wasn’t sure what to make of him. He leaned back against his chair, used the wrong fork with each course, and was far too animated as he ate. There was a certain charm in his rough decorum, but my swarthy marriage prospect lacked the breeding associated with a family of our standing. It was a shame Father would likely reject him to spare us from whispers amongst the other houses.

“I’ll be sure to convey along the message. Mrs. Travers will be pleased to hear it,” Father said. I’d spoken little this evening as he seemed determined to dominate the dialogue. And it was certainly a dialogue. Only he and Lord Rother were involved. If this first meeting evaluated Lord Rother’s worthiness, perhaps it was my father hoping to wed the man.

I, on the other hand, had barely exchanged two words with him since we entered the dining room. How could we test his compatibility if I was left out of it all? My brothers rode out the meal, cordial yet disinterested.

Lord Rother crumpled his napkin into a ball and dumped it in the center of his plate. “I must say you have a lovely family, Arthur. You should be proud.”

“I am, Rother.” Father looked over at me. “Of all my family.”

I smiled politely, not wanting to spoil his illusion.

“And I would be happy to be part of that. I agree to your terms and will accept Nathan’s hand.”

I braced and caught sight of Mother stiffening. We both knew what came next. Lord Rother seemed like a nice man. I hoped Father would be kind in his refusal.

“Congratulations, Rother. I’m sure the two of you will be very happy together.” Father raised his glass, nodding to Lord Rother wearing a cheerful grin.

Mother’s head snapped around to Father. “Arthur, shouldn’t we discuss this with Nathan?”

Father’s voice lost none of its graciousness, and I should have been alarmed at how he ignored Mother, but I was stunned at his acceptance of Lord Rother.

“I contacted the vicar last night. We can hold the ceremony in the morning,” Father said.

Rother’s smile lit up the room. “Perfect. We can be on the next airship back to Francine in the afternoon.”

The audacity of the whole conversation tickled me. “In the morning? So much for courting.”

Lord Rother turned to me, his dark gaze losing none of its intensity as his expression sobered. “I don’t have time for a protracted engagement. My business will suffer being away for so long. And you’re exactly what I’m looking for. Why should I wait?”

All the humor drained out of me. “You’re serious.”

Lord Rother returned his attention back to my father as they discussed the hasty ritual. Mother looked aghast but stayed silent. No engagement. No assessment of each other’s wants and needs. I was being shipped off with a precursory ceremony. If it could be called a ceremony. Words failed me and reality stampeded me, leaving me barely aware everyone had vacated the room. I still sat at the table as my father directed Lord Rother through the door.

“Chivers will lead you to my study where we can go over the final details.”

I watched my fiancé vanish into the hall before I could rally my wits. The expensive chair lurched backwards as I jumped up and chased after my father.

“Arthur!” I shouted. Father scowled, his instant rage halted me. I softened my voice, recognizing my error. “Father… I barely know the man. Don’t I have any say in this?”

“Sometimes we need to follow the path laid out for us.”

What absurd nonsense. He could hardly wax philosophy when he was the architect of the path set before me. The more I thought of his hand in it all, the more wounded I became.

“You’re trying to get rid of me.”

Father scoffed. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“Why does it have to be tomorrow?”

“Because I said so, that’s why.”

My sadness flared into something incendiary. “You don’t have the right—”

“You know full well I have every right.”

His words weren’t loud, yet they hit me with all the scorn fueling them. My defenses crumbled because it was the truth. I wasn’t old enough to challenge him, and a lifetime of compliance stomped my defiance into practiced submission. Father always had the last word. It was his power as head of household and nothing I could say could erase the fact. The chastity belt was early proof, and until I married it would always be.

The nagging thought I never dared speak rolled through me. For years I’d swallowed it down, refusing to allow its claws into my soul. I wanted to cast it aside, but I needed to know.

My chest tightened as my voice fractured. “Do you really hate me so much?”

Father regarded me a moment with an impassive stare. He tugged at the hem of his jacket with both hands and straightened himself, appearing taller than normal. Turning into the hallway, he spoke over his shoulder.

“Find Harston and pack what you need. We’ll send the rest after you. Hurry along. The morning will come sooner than you think.”

Check back next Wednesday for the next installation… Be sure to take a read at the other briefers free reads this week here: Wednesday Briefs

Free Reads!! Wednesday Briefs – Innocence & Carnality Part 5

Welcome to the next part in my Wednesday Briefs flash fiction serial, Innocence & Carnality! Each chapter has to be between 500 and 1,000 words and this week I chose the prompts, use “Listen to me carefully” and “Take it for what it’s worth.”

Lord Rother’s arrives.

Click here to start from the beginning

Part 5

“I can’t believe we’re sitting here waiting for your guest. I’m hungry and he’s late.” Finn stomped back and forth, fiddling with the gaslight knobs and edges of gilded portraits along the wall.

“Don’t be upset with me. I didn’t arrange any of this,” I said.

Father’s voice rose over mine. “Listen to me carefully. I will not accept any defiance from you tonight, Nathan. Present yourself as a dignified young man.”

“Yes, sir.”

I refrained from mentioning Finn’s boorish manners, but as the eldest, he held the privilege of speaking his thoughts without knowing the sting of reprimand. Mother shared the settee next to Father, making idle conversation, and Thomas looked bored with no new pretty girl to conquer. Everyone mingled dressed in regal earth tones within the lavish salon, designed to entertain the Victorian elite, except me in my virginal whites.

As much as it chaffed me, I understood Finn’s impatience. The wait wound me tighter with each passing second. If it lasted much longer, the dinner would be wasted with my stomach in such knots. Lord Rother was expected well over an hour ago. A small flutter of doubt spoke in my ear, whispering how my future husband changed his mind.

The timepiece on the mantle haunted me. Each mechanical tick pounded in my ears, making the whispers echo. Never had I known such distaste for clockworks in my life. It made me want to gut the device and bring an end to its teeth-rattling rhythm.

The door shifting open broke my awkward fascination. All of our attentions turned to the butler, Chivers, as he stepped into the salon. “May I present Lord Rother Marsh Delaga III.” My breath stalled as the tall stranger entered the room, lifting his brass goggles off his eyes and settling them above the brim of his top hat. “Will you be changing for dinner, sir?”

Lord Rother cast a curious look at Chivers as he removed his headgear and leather gloves. “No. Please be sure my man is fed. It’s been a long trip.” The butler dipped his head and glided away, leaving us all alone. “Forgive me for running so late, Arthur. The carriage from town was delayed.”

Our whole party stood to greet him, my father making first contact.

“Good to see you again, Rother.” Father shook his hand as, one by one, they greeted him with gracious platitudes without mentioning his wardrobe, while smartly dressed, was out of place for dining. If he knew, it didn’t show. He stood tall and proud, returning their pleasantries with his own. I stood rooted, unsure of how to proceed.

“And this is my son, Nathan.” Father’s introduction came with a flourish, reminding me of a carnival ringmaster, his prideful tone completely foreign to my ears. His praise did nothing to settle my nerves.

Lord Rother approached me with a polite nod. “Delighted.”

I had to tip my chin up to look him in the eye, only to watch him scan over me from top to bottom. It was impossible to tell if he approved, or found my attire too unusual for words. A curled lock of his dark hair fell forward, his loose waves giving him a wild appearance compared to our stringent standards. I envied his rich suit of dark grey and blood red which complimented his tanned skin and unshaven jaw. His collar lay open, devoid of a tie. Mother must have been beside herself, but hid it well.

I couldn’t read the man. Lord Rother didn’t touch me, or invade my personal space. His striking features were impassive, keeping an edge of mystery about him. Regardless, with Father present, I knew the proper response.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lord Rother.” With a trained nod, I granted deference to him, as would be expected. My father seemed to approve.

Finn sidled up behind me, placing his arm around my shoulders. “I imagine Nathan would be pleased with anyone who can relieve him of that chastity belt.”

I tried not to show it, but my face flamed so hot, it had to be scarlet. My stomach twisted with the heat rising in my chest. Insufferable cretin. Mother and Father scolded Finn, but with little teeth behind it. Lord Rother seemed rather unaffected, merely assessing me with his steely gaze. Even so, at our first meeting, this was beyond reprehensible. I’d been the subject of too many of my brother’s jibes and insults over the years. I would not be humiliated like this.

Without turning my head or raising my hand, I swung my arm behind me, striking Finn in the groin. He crumbled with a rather unmanly yelp.

“Nathan!” Mother shrieked, staging a swoon into my father’s arms. Her fan made a sudden appearance, bathing her with a breeze she didn’t really need. It was her practiced public reaction to all things “vulgar.” Lord Rother arched a brow and peered over at her theatrics and back to me.

I rolled my eyes and glanced down at my brother trying to recover on the floor. “I bet you’re wishing you were wearing that belt right now.”

Father was composed, yet simmered under the surface. “Forgive my son, Lord Rother. He’s simply nervous at meeting you. This is not his typical behavior at all.”

“Is this true?” Lord Rother asked me.

“Take it for what it’s worth.”

Lord Rother gave a faint snort and the corner of his mouth shifted. Was that a smirk?

Ignoring my father, his intense eyes never left mine. “I’m famished. Would you be so kind as to lead me to the dining room?”

“I’d be happy to.”

Taking my arm, Lord Rother looked down at my kneeling brother, who was still gasping in large, cleansing puffs. “Be sure to catch up.”

Stepping into the hall, my anxiety began to level out. I believed I could eat something now.

Check back next Wednesday for the next installation… Be sure to take a read at the other briefers free reads this week here: Wednesday Briefs

Free Reads!! Wednesday Briefs – Innocence & Carnality Part 4

Welcome to the next part in my Wednesday Briefs flash fiction serial, Innocence & Carnality! Each chapter has to be between 500 and 1,000 words and this week I chose the prompts, use “Cancer, Throb, and Dresser.”

Nathan prepares for Lord Rother’s arrival.

Click here to start from the beginning

Part 4

Harston reached down inside my waistline, smoothing my linen shirt before buttoning the braces into place. The tension of the straps over my shoulders pulled my pants up enough to accentuate the tailored fit through my thighs and buttocks. With practiced fingers, Harston smoothed the snug fabric until even the chastity belt couldn’t be seen underneath. I had to admit, his skills were impressive. He quickly lifted the waistcoat hanging from the wardrobe. Two tones of white created vertical stripes through the garment, and I stretched my arms outwards to ease my dressing.

“Isn’t it exciting, Sir Nathan? Traveling to another land to be wedded to a wealthy nobleman?” Harston’s words were quick and excited. His normal eloquence had come undone over the past few days as the time grew near.

“No, Harston. It’s not. I’ve never even met the man. I don’t see what’s so exciting,” I whispered.

Harston paused while sliding my arms through the vest. “But he’s a Lord! How can you not be excited?”

I sighed. Harston simply couldn’t understand. He was my most trusted servant, but his family was originally penniless before he was recruited into my family’s service. For him, it had been an upgrading of a dismal life. I did not see my own betrothal in the same light.

“I’ve had no say whatsoever in the matter. It makes me feel like purchased chattel.”

“You’re nothing of the sort, sir.”

I turned my head to catch his full attention. “You’re dressing me so that my body might arouse him. He requested a virgin and all my clothing is white. I assume that was Father’s request?”

Harston’s voice became sheepish. “He might have said something to that effect.”

Of course it was at Father’s request. Mother may have had a hand in my future, but he had the final say, and always would. Being the patriarchal head of a noble family was the mark of a successful Victorian lord. We all understood our position and lived it, whether we agreed or not. And Mother would never have agreed to dress me in white for a dinner affair. Not this late in the season.

“Everyone wants to be sure he doesn’t reject me. How do you expect me to feel?”

After an awkward pause, Harston continued to dress me in silence. When I caught a glimpse of his face, it wore a worried brow and he avoided my eyes. My arrangement meant a new locale for him as well; he was my private attendant after all. The marriage and relocation would serve to benefit him, so I could see how torn he was over my plight. If it was a plight after all.

Lord Rother Marsh Delaga III was only an hour away from arriving. The manor was alive with servants scrambling to complete the last minute details of the lavish dinner event prepared in his honor. Planning had begun before the announcement and had intensified the closer we came to our first meeting.

While I may not have appreciated my parents’ methods, I was still following the dictates of my status. Even if Lord Rother walked away without accepting me, at some point I would be married in a fashion benefitting my family and my future spouse. Nothing changed the truth of how it was done. The thought of leaving my only home frightened me, but I could grouse over the situation, or find a way to accept it, and make the most of it. Otherwise, fighting a hopeless battle would grow a cancer within me, sapping me of life and happiness. The stress had eaten enough of me already.

Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad after all. That’s what I would keep telling myself as my stomach twisted itself into a nauseous mess and the throb in my temple would pass. If I managed to survive this dinner without embarrassing myself, I stood a small chance of happiness.

At least moving to a new country would remove me from the sight of Father’s disapproving eyes. I’d never have to listen to his not-so-subtle asides about never having grandchildren again. As if he didn’t have two other sons to perform the deed for him.

Harston snugged the ties in the back of the vest, the bone rods straightening my posture. Rigid elegance was the way of the Victorian noble. I watched Harston pull the simple jacket from the wardrobe, its smooth texture a subtle contrast to the pattern of my waistcoat. The two together would focus attention on my chest.

“Do you know what he’s like?” I asked.

“I’m sorry, Sir Nathan. I’ve heard nothing.”

“So much for servants’ gossip.” It was intended to be a joke, but given the mood, it was a caustic comment.

I let out a slow breath, trying to ease my nerves. The lack of information I’d received had me on edge. My potential future husband was coming and after all my contrary reactions, it embarrassed me to admit part of the reason.

“Do you think he’ll like me?” My chin dipped, along with my volume.

Fastening the button at my neck, Harston coaxed my head upright, and caught my eye. “How could he not? With your fair skin, blond locks, and blue eyes, he’ll be smitten with one look.”

Out of all the accessories living on my dresser, Harston lifted a silver pin and fixed it to my lapel. It was a series of clock gears welded into a grouping, giving a subtle, personal flair to my outfit. Father never approved of my hobbies, so its significance was perfect. The tiny defiance and knowing I would have Harston at my side, made the anxiety a little smaller.

“Perhaps I’m worried about nothing at all,” I said. Harston looked up at me as he brushed my dinner jacket, a soft smile radiating from him.

“That’s the spirit, Sir Nathan. You just wait and see.”

Check back next Wednesday for the next installation… Be sure to take a read at the other briefers free reads this week here: Wednesday Briefs

Free Reads!! Wednesday Briefs – Innocence & Carnality Part 3

Welcome to the next part in my Wednesday Briefs flash fiction serial, Innocence & Carnality! Each chapter has to be between 500 and 1,000 words and this week I chose the prompts, use “You look like you’re waiting for something” and “have a character wish upon a star.”

Nathan and his mother share a moment the night before Lord Rother’s arrival.

Click here to start from the beginning

Part 3

With a light touch, a new lens spun into place, magnifying my view. Through my custom monocle, the music box’s internal workings filled my vision. One by one, I placed a new gear into the cavity, rebuilding the motor to play a complex symphony. Only the coiled spring needed to be installed, providing the power to function. The gaslight lamp barely provided enough light, but at this time of night, I had little choice. So engrossed in my task, I ignored the sounds of the door opening. I felt the presence next to me for long moments, silent yet disruptive. From the corner of my eye, I saw the fabric of her dress and smelled her perfume.

I refused to turn in her direction. “You look like you’re waiting for something.”

“Waiting for you to finish and head to bed.” Mother spoke in hushed tones in the evening, whether anyone slept or not. “It’s late. Lord Rother will be here tomorrow. You need to be fresh.”

“I’d hardly want him to turn me down for having bags under my eyes.”

“It certainly wouldn’t make a good first impression.”

I set down my tools as my annoyance grew. “My virtue is his only requirement. I’d say your efforts are safe.”

“You’re no stranger to expectations. Why must you be so difficult?” she huffed.

I pulled off the monocle, sighing in frustration as I dumped it to the table. “I don’t try to be. The last few years have been difficult. It keeps slipping out.”

“We are working to ensure you and your brother’s futures.”

She cringed as I shoved my chair backwards, scraping its feet across the expensive floor. I shot to my feet before her, but Mother was impossible to intimidate. I looked her square in the eye, unlike my brothers who towered over us all. My disdain spilled out, unrestrained.

“Finn is oldest and will inherit the manor. Thomas will wed a wealthy heiress. Both of them will become partners in the family business. Their futures are looking quite grand. I, on the other hand, am being married off like a trophy daughter to the highest bidder.”

“That’s not true.”

“Don’t you think I noticed how my tutors changed my studies after my orientation was determined? I went from finance to protocol lessons overnight. If I hadn’t befriended the blacksmiths and clockworkers in the city, I’d have no useable skills at all.”

“It was in your best interests.”

“How?”

Mother’s porcelain features began to soften. “You never heard the stories of the losses with the plague. It’s coarse to talk of such things, and you were too young to hear such horrors. Whole families were wiped out. Harston is the only survivor of his own. Until the vaccine was discovered, it was devastating. Afterwards, public opinion shifted drastically in Victoria. Any union without the chance for childbearing is highly frowned upon.”

“So I’m being married off to prevent a social stigma on the family.”

She ignored my snarling. “It’s far more complicated than that. Some of the fanatically devout rose against men like yourself. They blamed your orientation for the plague, which is ludicrous, but you can’t reason with some people.” A tremor appeared in her voice. “There had been violence, Nathan. Horrible, horrible violence. The temperament of the land has calmed, but I still don’t trust it. I have no intention of allowing such things to happen to my little boy. The best option was to find somewhere you would be accepted.”

As the revelation grew, my resentment cooled. “But you didn’t send me away.”

“I couldn’t. You were my sweet, fair child. It was the only time I ever openly defied your father. Sending you away was unacceptable. There had be to another way. You were always the prettiest of my children. A wealthy man would prize your beauty, and give you a new home somewhere safe. But certain standards had to be maintained.”

I hated when my appearance was compared in contrast to my brothers. I wanted to be rough-and-tumble like they were, not pretty and boyish. It wasn’t my fault I took after her rather than Father. The reasoning still offended me, but I understood. Mother’s resolute tone spoke of her need to protect me. My father’s needs appeared as selfish as I’d imagined.

“With or without my consent.” The chastity belt’s presence was stronger since the announcement of Lord Rother’s visit.

“I’m sorry you don’t approve of the method, but I don’t have your father’s penchant for gambling. I needed a guarantee.”

“It’s still not fair.”

Brushing the hair from my forehead, she spoke in whispers. “We were born into privilege, but it comes at a cost. None of us choose who we bind our lives with. I want you somewhere a greater chance of happiness exists.” With as deep a breath as her corset allowed, she straightened and turned away. “Now, finish this quickly, and head off to bed. If Lord Rother is your future, I would like you to embrace the opportunity.”

Delicate as ever, Mother closed the door behind her making barely a sound. I tried to resume my project, but my motivation evaporated. Her unexpected maternal moment disarmed me. All I could do was push the music box aside and stare out the window into the night sky. I found a bright star in the distance, reveling in its intensity. Turning off the gaslight, I focused on the brilliant pinpoint and made a wish. Somehow, I hoped they would see it was better to make my own choices rather than the plan laid out for me.

Of course, I knew wishes were the stuff of children’s fantasies and my time had run out.

Check back next Wednesday for the next installation… Be sure to take a read at the other briefers free reads this week here: Wednesday Briefs

Free Reads!! Wednesday Briefs – Innocence & Carnality Part 2

Welcome to the next part in my Wednesday Briefs flash fiction serial, Innocence & Carnality! Each chapter has to be between 500 and 1,000 words and this week I chose the prompt, “Have a character have trouble with a lock.”

It’s time to learn a little more about Nathan and his history.

Click here to start from the beginning

Part 2

“I need to use the lavatory.”

“Yes, Sir Nathan.”

Face flushed, Harston, my valet, strode out into the hallway in search of my father. Something I absolutely refused to do. Minutes passed as I waited in discomfort. On his return, he brandished a key in his hand. We headed for the privy, and inside the sitting area, he began to help disrobe me enough to continue. Which at times, given the layers of costumery Victorian lords engaged in, could be arduous.

Nestled underneath the splayed layers of my breeches was a belt of brass with an unyielding codpiece attached to a metal strap running up and underneath, blocking my backside. Intricate carvings decorated the garment—if that’s what you would call it—with a visible series of slender gears and mechanisms forming the lock holding it together. The device was crafted so well, it sat undetectable under my clothing. In another context, I might have found its construction compelling. Now, however, I’d give anything to slag it in the forge.

“Forgive me, Sir Nathan.”

“Think nothing of it. I stopped being humiliated by the experience a long time ago.”

Harston was young, not much older than me, with a similar build. Being in service, he kept well groomed, his chestnut hair and brown eyes a contrast to my golden blond and blue. An intimacy forms between a man and his valet when he’s involved in your most private daily accounts. Even so, we’d been through this process every day for years, and he still turned his head each time. The clockwork key turned, and the gears disengaged with a soft grind and snick, making me sigh with short term freedom.

Within the metal confines, the pouch clutched my genitals. With no room to spare, arousal was painful, designed to bring a quick end to any indecent moment. A strategically placed opening allowed me to urinate, but the strap between my buttocks prevented anything else. Harston wasn’t allowed to leave as I squatted, even as he turned away. I hadn’t known an opportunity for privacy without the ghastly thing in years. Even my bathing was performed under the watchful eye of the governess; her withering gaze could staunch any man’s ardor.

I remember the day I turned fifteen. In the apothecarian’s office, he took a blood sample, reading the humors determining my orientation. My parents, worried I might ruin myself before a suitable husband could be found, had the infernal contraption installed on me. The key always sat outside my reach, in the hands of others.

The first day I wore it, I stood before my mirror in nothing but the infernal undergarment. With my desk paperweight in my right hand, I reduced my reflection to a myriad of jagged shards in a screaming rage. Looking back, I felt sorry for the staff who had to undo the disaster. I was so furious, I attempted to dismantle the lock. I had a fondness for the blacksmiths and clockwork specialists, and liked to tinker. A variety of tools were at my disposal. Who would stop me?

As soon as the first tumbler in the lock fell, a shrill whistle erupted from the belt. Garish purple ink sprayed out from the belt’s edges, staining my hands, torso, and face—an undeniable mark of shame. If breaking the mirror hadn’t alerted the staff, the alarm succeeded; the door burst open, flooding my room with staff and family. Servants snickered and my brothers couldn’t laugh hard enough.

Father beat me bloody that night. I never touched it again.

I’ve barely had to urge to speak to him since. I told myself it was standard practice amongst the nobles. But after hearing my father’s griping about never having grandchildren from me on more than one occasion, I’m led to believe he meant to punish me for my preferences. A large family made up of multiple generations was a mark of success for a lord of Victoria. I’d stripped him of part of it.

“Harston, be honest with me.”

“Of course, Sir Nathan.”

“Have you ever known anyone to wear… a chastity device?” I cringed saying the words aloud.

“No, sir. But I’m just a poor bloke in service. Perhaps it’s more likely amongst your higher classes.”

“My brothers… Do either one of them wear one of these?”

The flush in Harston’s face returned. “I… I wouldn’t know personally, sir.” His stammer screamed evasion.

“Not personally, but something.”

“I’ve heard rumors from a few of the maids.”

“What do they say?”

Harston shook his head. “It’s not right to repeat such things.”

I could see the fear behind his eyes. I’d overheard Father threaten Harston’s employment over safekeeping of the key and my virtue. Born from peasant stock, Harston needed this job. As my valet, he was my good right hand; the loss of his help and wages was unthinkable.

“I’d never repeat your confidences to anyone.”

He paused a full minute, staring at the floor. “If their vulgar stories are true, neither of your brothers could possibly wear such a device.”

My heart sank, even as I suspected it was true. My brothers were twenty-two and twenty-four year old rowdy bachelors. I’d heard the rumors among the servants; I’d hoped they were false. Father doted on all his children, but it changed after my apothecarian visit. I was singularly held to a different standard, oddly condemned for my desires. Our relationship was never the same afterwards.

Now I was promised to Lord Rother Marsh Delaga III from Francine. The man would take me away from this family I loved and despised next week. Was I exchanging sets of chains?

Once finished, I stood, returning the imprisoning garment to its rightful position, no matter how tempted to find a method to destroy it. With a tentative hand, Harston put the key in the lock, ensuring my value to my future husband.

Check back next Wednesday for the next installation… Be sure to take a read at the other briefers free reads this week here: Wednesday Briefs

Ships Logs of the Santa Claus – Book 2, A Cook’s Tale is coming!

It’s official! The next book in the Ship Logs of the Santa Claus series – A Cook’s Tale, has been contracted by Wayward Ink Publishing!

There’s still work to be done and the release date hasn’t been set yet, so stay tuned for more details. I’ll keep you up to date on the progress as we go. I’m excited!

Blog Tour: Guitars and Cages by Layla Dorine — Guest post, Excerpt, Giveaway!

Layla Dorine has stopped by during her Blog Tour for Guitars and Cages from Wayward Ink Publishing. She has a few words to say, an excerpt to share, and a giveaway to go after!

On Genres and favorite subject matter

Hello. It’s very nice to meet you, thank you for having me. It’s been a lot of fun getting to chime in on different blogs and talk about writing, genres, and how I go about choosing my subject matter. I have to say though, I actually have no preferred genre, I am all about the story and will read anything that catches my attention. I think that comes from growing up an only child and learning to fill my free time reading when I couldn’t be outdoors. My parents were military, we were stationed on an island on base. The bookstore never had a lot of new selections and it was rare to get a chance to really browse an off base one until I began working at a used bookstore. I would read the back cover blurbs as I shelved books and usually ended up spending a chunk of my paycheck on books each week. I’d read almost all of the classics before middle school, and a lot of the typical 80’s young adult books too, so I was always looking for something new and different. I learned early on that there were gems to be found in every genre, so when I’m searching for that next book to read, it is often with my interest in the subject matter in mind.

I love shapeshifters, I love motorcycles, I love dirtbike racing, cowboys, ranch life, farm life, Mennonite and Amish culture, heavy metal/rock n roll bands, merfolk, fae/fairies, vampires (within limits), Road trips, MMA, hockey, football, elves, dwarves, mythology and legends, dragons/dragon shifters, Scotland, Hunting, SWAT/Military/Special Forces, and archeology, but I don’t just limit myself to those subjects , either. If I read a blub that just grabs me, even if it’s on a subject I’ve never read anything about before, I jump at the chance to read it. Reading is learning and I love to learn new things.

I am a very hands on person. Show me something and give me the tools to try it and I will plug away until I can get it done. I’ve never been afraid to ask questions, or spend hours researching the answers to questions I have. If I read about something new that I find cool, or see it in a movie, I will spend hours in the library or on the net trying to find out as much as I can about it. I keep files on the things I research which makes it easy to include them in my stories.

Synopsis

Asher Logan is a bartender and a pretty wicked guitar player, when he isn’t wrecking his hands fighting in a cage. With a past he keeps hoping to outrun, Asher’s been on a downward spiral for longer than he can remember. When his sister-in-law leaves Rory, his eight-year-old nephew, in his care, Asher is forced into two things he’s never been good at: sobriety and responsibility. As he struggles to care for Rory, his own life begins to unravel.

When Asher’s brother, Alex, turns up, presenting as a girl and announcing her new name is Alexia, it further complicates matters, as does the arrival of his new neighbor, Conner. Both, in their own way, compel Asher to look at his own closely-guarded views on sexuality.

When the siblings’ older brother, Cole, reacts violently to Alexia, Asher is placed squarely in the middle of a family conflict which compels him to confront who he pretends to be versus who he really is.

Asher must choose who to trust and who to finally walk away from.

Buy Links

Don’t miss the Wayward Ink Publishing Tickle Me Pink Sale – 25% off all list prices!

WIP: http://www.waywardinkpublishing.com/product/guitars-and-cages-by-layla-dorine/

Amazon US: http://www.amazon.com/Guitars-Cages-Layla-Dorine-ebook/dp/B00YWD9PVQ/

Amazon AU: http://www.amazon.com.au/Guitars-Cages-Layla-Dorine-ebook/dp/B00YWD9PVQ/

Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Guitars-Cages-Layla-Dorine-ebook/dp/B00YWD9PVQ/

Amazon DE: http://www.amazon.de/Guitars-Cages-Layla-Dorine-ebook/dp/B00YWD9PVQ/

ARe: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-guitarsandcages-1838198-341.html

B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/guitars-and-cages-layla-dorine/1122098430?ean=9781925222463

Book Trailer

Link: https://youtu.be/tulzD04gOu8

Giveaway

Prize: $10 WIP Gift Card

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Link: http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/d3e3d66a37/

Excerpt

“You know what? Sometimes it is. I’m not saying it’s a good thing, Conner, but sometimes you need money faster than you can earn it honestly. I hadn’t planned to fight anymore, but Kimber ditched Rory with Morgan, like for good, and the bar is struggling. The taxes are due and the only goddamned home Morgan, Alexia and Rory have is over that bar. I knew I could make enough to help Morgan pay the taxes until he got things settled at the bar again. That’s the only reason I took that fight tonight.”

“You know what, I can understand that. What I don’t get is how you go from fighting to ending up cuffed and blindfolded with that guy pawing you like a bad prom date.”

“I’m one of the guys Catfish took a liking to. He’s been after me for months to work for him as his bodyguard. What that really means is I’d be hired muscle and a personal fuck toy. I would have said yes to the bodyguard if the rest didn’t come with it, but Catfish don’t want one without the other, and every time I’m with him, it’s just…”

I let out a shuddering sigh and hung my head.

I felt Conner’s hand on my arm, and he used his other hand to brush my hair back from my eyes. “Do you know that whenever you don’t want to talk about something, you try to use your hair as a wall?”

I glanced at his face, and then down again. “Yeah.”

He slid his hand beneath my chin and raised my eyes so I was looking at him. “I’m not judging you. I want you to explain it to me so maybe I can understand what you’re thinking when you go there.”

“That’s just it,” I said low, but I knew he could hear me. “He doesn’t judge me, he doesn’t think my scars are hideous, he doesn’t think I’m stupid because I don’t read so good and I didn’t finish high school. He doesn’t expect anything more from me than to be who I am, and when I need it most, he’s the only one who ever tells me I’m worth anything, or that he wants me around. I hate that I love it when he touches me, that it feels good even when he hurts me. I didn’t say yes to being his bodyguard because I knew if I did, I’d never leave. If I let him give me everything he’s promised, there would never have been a chance at walking away.”

Conner put one hand on my cheek and caressed it, while the other kept me from looking away. “You’ve always wanted more than to fight and play your guitar, haven’t you?”

I swallowed hard. “Yeah.”

About the author

LAYLA DORINE lives among the sprawling prairies of Midwestern America, in a house with more cats than people. She loves hiking, fishing, swimming, martial arts, camping out, photography, cooking, and dabbling with several artistic mediums. In addition, she loves to travel and visit museums, historic, and haunted places.

Layla got hooked on writing as a child, starting with poetry and then branching out, and she hasn’t stopped writing since. Hard times, troubled times, the lives of her characters are never easy, but then what life is? The story is in the struggle, the journey, the triumphs and the falls. She writes about artists, musicians, loners, drifters, dreamers, hippies, bikers, truckers, hunters and all the other folks that she’s met and fallen in love with over the years. Sometimes she writes urban romance and sometimes its aliens crash landing near a roadside bar. When she isn’t writing, or wandering somewhere outdoors, she can often be found curled up with a good book and a kitty on her lap.

Layla Dorine can be found at:

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100005197938547&fref=ts

Twitter: https://twitter.com/layladorine

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/layladorine/

Free Reads!! Wednesday Briefs – Innocence & Carnality Part 1

Welcome to my first installation as part of the weekly flash fiction group, Wednesday Briefs!

The rules for each chapter are as follows: Every chapter has to be between 500 and 1,000 words while using one of the prompts given to us each week. This week I chose, “Use ‘Wonder of wonders…'” and a picture of an hourglass.

So without further ado… welcome to the first part of Innocence & Carnality.

Part 1

“Who told you?” My mother, Lady Margaritte Valencus, huffed in disgust as she sat on the edge of the settee. Her back poised tall with perfect posture, she never touched the tufted, embroidered upholstery behind her. A woman of her standing could be expected to do no less. “I swear your brothers are like a pair of gossiping old women at times, Nathan.”

My chest pinched at the news. “So it’s true.”

“Yes. Yes, it is.”

I knew this day would eventually come, but the proof brought me to a morose silence. Amongst the elaborately decorated furniture of mother’s salon, rested a handcrafted hourglass on the end table next to her. The elegant glass bulbs were suspended between a framework of brass and gears. The fine sand had emptied to the bottom, marking the time left to choose my own future. I wanted to invert it, to start my chances over once again.

Mother turned to the small canvas atop the nearby easel, and began dabbing a slender paintbrush to the surface. It was an affectation. The bristles were void of paint, and in my twenty years, I’d never seen her finish a single painting. Plus, the possibility of staining her sable and gold brocade gown was incomprehensible. Women of Victorian lords were expected to fill their days with arts and crafts, while providing the proper trophy for their husbands.

I played along with her fiction, giving myself time to absorb the reality. A turn of the switch along the ebony wainscoting and the gaslights grew brighter, illuminating the sanguine, patterned fabric lining the walls, giving her more light to pretend to work from.

“Thank you, Nathan.”

I leaned against the mantle, fingering the edge of my waistcoat. The layers were snug and tailored, the fine wool properly adorned with buttons of fine metal, befitting a young man of my status. In another hour or two, I would be expected to changed into formal dining dress to eat. There were clothing standards for every aspect of our lives. Only certain hobbies were permissible to dabble in, and employment was unacceptable for the nobility. With little to spend my time on, I grew restless. The prospect of a marriage held the hallmarks of opportunity and disaster all at once.

“Do you know who he is?”

“A business associate of your father’s, Lord Rother Marsh Delaga III from Francine.”

“So far away?” I didn’t want to whine—I was accused of it often enough—but this house and land were all I knew. For all my complaints, I wasn’t looking to abandon it and my family.

Mother gave me a dismissive shake of her head. “Francine is an airship ride away. Not far at all.”

“Do you know when?”

“Lord Rother will be coming in two weeks to meet you and hopefully accept your father’s offer.”

Well as if that didn’t make me feel like a commodity. “At least I’ll get to meet him first before I’m shipped off.”

Mother slapped her dry brush onto the end table in her displeasure. “Don’t be droll, Nathan. You know perfectly well how things are done.”

“And what if I don’t like him? Will Father force me to go through with it?”

“Most likely. This is an important union for our family.”

“He can’t do that.”

She paused for a moment for effect. “Of course he can. Under Victorian law, until you are married or turn twenty-five, your father has final say.”

Pacing in a circle, I waved my hands in the air. “Wonder of wonders… All hail the land of Victoria.”

“Stop that,” she snarled. “Given your… orientation, there have been pitifully few offers in this area to find a suitable mate for you. Since the plague last decade, Victoria has been focused on repopulating. Since you are unlikely to bear children—”

I stopped and glared at her. “That’s not my fault.”

Mother pulled a broach from her collar, which spun itself out, expanding into an exquisite fan with translucent blades. Another affectation, the room bore a chill. “No, it isn’t, but it’s the situation you’ve been saddled with. It is our station to follow the plan laid out for us.”

She was right. Being born to privilege had its immense backlash. You were held to a different standard, and required to maintain a certain kind of decorum. Every step in your life was measured by the manner in which you bore yourself. Act a fool and be cast out. Be the saint, and have every good fortune at your fingertips. No matter how hard I’d tried, I wasn’t capable of either.

Choosing the person you’d spend the rest of your life with was a luxury our kind seldom experienced. Marriages were transactions to benefit the family’s longevity. If you were fortunate, you could learn to love your partner.

If you were fortunate.

Sighing, I traced my finger over the clockwork sculpture gracing the occasional table against the wall. It’s delicate workings danced under my light touch. “Do you know what he’s like?”

“I haven’t met the man, I only read his arrival schedule and his accommodation requests. Your father has been the only contact regarding your betrothal. From what he said, Lord Rother’s only rigid stipulation was proof of your purity.” She stopped waving her fan long enough to pierce me with her gaze. “I can assume that requirement will be met.”

My face flamed from embarrassment twined with a resentful fury. “You know well enough that’s true.” An ache radiated through my hands from the tightness of my fists. I spun on my heels, storming to the door, trying with a futile effort to hold back my venom.

And my volume.

“You and father made sure of that, didn’t you?”

Check back next Wednesday for the next installation… Be sure to take a read at the other briefers free reads this week here: Wednesday Briefs

Blog Tour – Ari by Cheryl Headford – Guest Spot! Excerpt! Giveaway!

I’m so thrilled to have Cheryl Headford doing a guest spot on my blog promoting her new book, Ari from Wayward Ink Publishing. The short story it was based on was touching and amazing, so I can hardly wait to read the expanded version. Cheryl was kind enough to say a few words and grant an excerpt of her book to tease us with. Enjoy!

And don’t miss the giveaway link after the trailer!

Blog Tour – Ari by Cheryl Headford

Guest Spot:

Ari’s mother Skye and grandmother, Nancy, are pagans. In the book, Benji and Marc join the family in celebrating the festival of Lughnasadh (loo – na – sah), so I thought I would give you an insight into what Lughnasadh means to me.

As a Celtic pagan, I’ve spent most of my life immersed in the legends and myths of Wales and her gods/goddesses, and all the pagan festivals that are still part of life in many parts of Wales, albeit not always recognized as such.

The Celtic god of the sun is Lugh (Loo) and the festival of Lughnasadh is dedicated to him. It takes place on the 1st August. There are many different interpretations of the myth (for example the death of John Barleycorn who mated with the goddess at Beltain (May 1st) and dies by the scythe in the late summer/autumn harvest).

Lughnasadh is the first of two harvest festivals (the other being the Spring Equinox). It is when we celebrate the first grain to be harvested and give thanks for the bounty of the earth. In early spring, we identify hopes and dreams, plans and schemes which we would like to achieve during the following year, and at Lughnasadh we consider what progress we have made. We give thanks for what we have, and consider what else we need to do to bring our plans to fruition. It’s a celebratory festival and always involved a feast, and usually a large quantity of alcohol. Okay, I have to admit that most festivals include large quantities of alcohol but that might just have something to do with my choice of groups/individuals I celebrate with.

In the Christian calendar, Lughnasadh has become Lammas, which is also a harvest festival.

So, Skye and Nancy do a lot of cooking, and the ritual is very much a family affair, and a happy one. This year, Ari has a lot to be thankful for and will no doubt have thanked the gods that the harvest he brings home, is Benji.

Title: Ari

Author: Cheryl Headford

Genre: LGBT, romance, transgender, intersex, M/M, F/F

Length: Novel

Publisher: Wayward Ink Publishing

Synopsis

After having known each other online for some time, writers, Benji and Ari meet at a convention.

Their attraction is both immediate and mutual.

But all is not straightforward—Ari is intersex and Benji transgender.

Together they embark on a journey.

A journey that unites families, and heals old wounds.

But not everyone is happy with the blossoming love between these two unique and special individuals.

Will an act of aggression crush the flower before it can bloom?

Excerpt

The journey was interminable, especially when we realized we had no idea where the hospital was, or even which hospital it was. A Google search threw up a few choices and I panicked over making one. Dad got frustrated with me and lost his cool, which lit a touch paper and had me screaming back. Our screaming match lasted almost half an hour until we reached the most likely candidate, both exhausted and frazzled, with sore throats from yelling.

I couldn’t wait for Dad to park the car, so he dropped me at the hospital entrance. As I watched him pull off it occurred to me I might have done better to find the emergency department.

However, I needn’t have worried. Skye and Nancy had all bases covered as usual.

“Benji.”

I turned and almost fell into Nancy’s arms. “Where is he? What happened? Please tell me he’s okay.”

“Not here, sweetheart. We have a room. Let me call Skye and tell her I found you.”

“But…. Please. Tell me what’s happening. Just tell me he’s okay.”

“I can’t do that. Wait.”

When Nancy commanded, everyone obeyed, so I had to follow in silence while she talked to Skye on the phone. Nothing in the conversation gave me a clue about what was going on.

When she finished the call Nancy kept on walking and I trotted obediently at her side. I could barely breathe. The atmosphere of the hospital—one grey, echoing corridor after another—was oppressive, and I was sick with worry, but it was pointless to press because I knew Nancy would be like a rock until she was ready to open. At least I knew that when Skye joined us she would be more forthcoming. Skye was like Ari and couldn’t keep emotions inside if her life depended on it. It frustrated Nancy, but would definitely work in my favour right now.

Finally we came to a set of double doors that led into a busy corridor. About halfway along was a door marked “Staff Only”. Nancy ushered me inside.

“Are we supposed to be in here?”

“We are supposed to be wherever we find ourselves.”

“Spiritually, yes, I get it, but—”

“It’s alright, Benji,” Skye said. “We have permission.”

Now why hadn’t Nancy just said that? Couldn’t she see what a state I was in?

“Sit down, sweetheart,” Skye said drawing me into a chair. “My goodness you’re cold as ice. Tell me you didn’t drive all this way alone.”

“No. Dad drove. He’s parking. Oh, he won’t know where I am.”

“Give me your phone,” Nancy said. “I’ll call him and give directions.”

Numbly, I handed over the phone and Nancy walked away toward a window. I dismissed her, knowing I would get what I needed from Skye.

“What happened?”

“Hasn’t she told you anything?”

I shook my head, and Skye tutted and rolled her eyes in Nancy’s direction. Then she turned serious and took both my hands in hers, which was no mean feat as her hands were tiny, like Ari’s.

“I think this is where I’m supposed to say ‘be strong’, but you don’t have to be. You don’t have to be strong at all because we will look after you, and your Dad’s here.” She took a deep breath and I could practically see her drawing in her strength. “It’s bad, Benji, really bad. We’re going to lose him. We’re going to lose our baby boy.”

Book trailer

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUntf_SzFDA

Buy Links

Don’t miss Wayward Ink Publishing’s Tickle Me Pink Sale! 25% off all list prices.

WIP: http://www.waywardinkpublishing.com/?p=1298

Amazon US: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00YUT48QE/

Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00YUT48QE/

Amazon AU: http://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B00YUT48QE/

Amazon DE: http://www.amazon.de/dp/B00YUT48QE/

ARe: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-ari-1820879-341.html

B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/ari-cheryl-headford/1122098431?ean=9781925222487

Giveaway

Prizes: 3 UK Swag Packs (Ari mug, notebook, rainbow pen) and 3 International Swag Packs (6.99 WIP gift card, bookmark, key chain)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Link: http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/d3e3d66a38/

About the author

CHERYL HEADFORD was born into a poor mining family in the South Wales Valleys. Until she was 16, the toilet was at the bottom of the garden and the bath hung on the wall. Her refrigerator was a stone slab in the pantry and there was a black lead fireplace in the kitchen. They look lovely in a museum but aren’t so much fun to clean.

Cheryl has always been a storyteller. As a child, she’d make up stories for her nieces, nephews and cousin and they’d explore the imaginary worlds she created, in play.

Later in life, Cheryl became the storyteller for a re-enactment group who traveled widely, giving a taste of life in the Iron Age. As well as having an opportunity to run around hitting people with a sword, she had an opportunity to tell stories of all kinds, sometimes of her own making, to all kinds of people. The criticism was sometimes harsh, especially from the children, but the reward enormous.

It was here she began to appreciate the power of stories and the primal need to hear them. In ancient times, the wandering bard was the only source of news, and the storyteller the heart of the village, keeping the lore and the magic alive. Although much of the magic has been lost, the stories still provide a link to the part of us that still wants to believe that it’s still there, somewhere.

In present times, Cheryl lives in a terraced house in the valleys with her son and her two cats. Her daughter has deserted her for the big city, but they’re still close. The part of her that needs to earn money is a lawyer, but the deepest, and most important part of her is a storyteller and artist, and always will be.

Website: Nephylim-author.blogspot.co.uk

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cheryl.headford

Twitter: @SevenPointStar

I joined the Wednesday Briefers!

See this image? You’ll be seeing it soon on a regular basis. I’ve joined the Wednesday Briefers, a flash fiction group that posts on Wednesdays (I know, big shock) and gives me an opportunity to provide a running serial of free reads. I can do this and still work on my upcoming manuscripts with my regularly crazy schedule!

Keep an eye out. The first installment will happen in a couple of weeks. I’m working on character sketches and world building to set the stage. Once I get past this massive art fair I’m prepping for, I’m all over it!

Tick tock, boys and girls… tick tock…