Jamie Patterson's Blog, page 36

Fun with Grammer? Who's Grammer?

This is a blurb promoting a grammar class I taught a couple of years ago. I love typos like this! (When it's not me who makes them.) Hilarious!

National Running Day! (Comma use)

Today is national running day, and I honestly don't know what that means. Even so, it's still noteworthy and super good fun.

I'd like to go for a run to celebrate such a great day. Instead, I'm horizontal so let's do the next best thing and talk about commas.

Notice that I put a comma in the first sentence before and? I did that because on either side of the comma is a independent clause (fancy editor talk for a complete sentence) and these two clauses are joined by a conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so are conjunctions). Let's check out the rule and color code this bad boy:

1. Use a comma with two independent clauses joined by a conjunction.

Today is national running day, and I honestly don't know what that means.

Notice with the second sentence that there's no comma before and. Why? Because it doesn't fit into this rule.

Happy National Running Day!

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Quote from The Wind is My Mother:

If you're the kind that stays here awhile, and then all of the sudden you're over there and people are trying to catch up with you over here, then over there again, your words, thoughts, prayers, and power are going to be like that--dispersed all over the place.

Interesting Read: Inside of a Dog

After reading Alexandra Horowitz's Inside of a Dog I started taking Huey on "smell walks." Smell what? Watch and behold the smell walk. Boring to watch, I know, but the idea is that letting your dog follow smells is something like letting the dog read a really good book and get a full story.

As for the book (Inside of a Dog: What Dogs See, Smell, and Know) itself I thought it was super interesting but I categorize it as a book I had to force myself to finish. There were some interesting insights, some nice moments where my hunches were supported by fact, and some sweet anecdotes. I would recommend the book but in parts and parcel. I don't think this need be a cover-to-cover read for most people (nor will it be!).

Were vs. was (subjunctive mood)

I wish I were at work and not just helplessly horizontal in bed, which makes me think of the subjunctive mood and how people just ignore it. Take Skee-Lo, for example. Here's Skee-Lo's I wish lyrics:

I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I was a little bit taller y'all

Because he's wishing these things it should be:

I wish I were a little bit taller
I wish I were a baller

Were is the subjunctive mood and it's what you use when you're totally making something up or wishing for something that isn't real.

So, I wish I were vertical. I wish I were outside. It would be nice if you were to bring me dark chocolate hot chocolate. If I were you I'd go for a nice run right now.

Seriously! Go!

Four Publishing Myths According to Alan Rinzler

Alan Rinzler was the keynote speaker at last week's DIY conference in New York. Having him speak was the perfect way to start the day; he was genuine, entertaining, and he sure knows his stuff. He noted four current myths in publishing and I scrambled to take notes. Here's a quick summary.

Myth 1: Commercial publishing is dead.
Not true. Book sales up from 2008 with a 14% gain overall.

Myth 2: If you self-publish you're toast.
Not true. Self-publishing is the most powerful device for test-marketing your book. If the book sells, there's greater income potential than with a traditional publisher.

Myth 3: Agents won't represent self-published authors.
Not true. Many top agents like Jim Levine are now representing self-published authors.

Myth 4: It's easy to self-publish.
Not true. The book has to be good, no matter how it is published. The book has to be good, has to be edited, has to be marketed well.

Rinzler had a lot of other really wonderful things to say and I'd recommend going to hear him speak if you have the opportunity or I'd recommend following his blog. What it all came down to, though, was this: with the shift and decentralization of publishing there has been no greater time to be a writer.

My new Wheels (me vs. I)

I might have missed the Book Bloggers Convention but I got a sweet new Guardian walker! Score!

This is Siena and me testing out the new wheels.

Incidentally, how do you know when to use me and when to use I?

Pretty easy, actually, just take away the second person so you're alone in the sentence. I know not to say This is Siena and I testing out the new wheels because if I take Siena out of the picture I would have This is I testing out the new wheels.

No good. Real bad. But sure makes it an easy one to figure out, eh?

Response from Caribou on "Everyday" use

Oh yeah, that's right. I wrote an email to Caribou about their misuse of everyday in an advertisement. Really, I wanted not to correct them (anyone who thinks they've got grammar rules right is sure to be proven wrong) but to see if there was some explanation for the misuse. Turns out, there is. Here's Caribou's emailed response:

Hi Jamie,

Thanks for the e-mail. It's a bit of a play on words. Instead of "Happy Monday", we have "Happy Everyday". We appreciate our grammarians. You make the world a better place, one sentence at a time. Thank you for the feedback, and I apologize for any grammatical errors I have made in this e-mail. Have a great day!

Sincerely,
Customer Relations
Caribou Coffee Co.

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Fortune Telling Hospital Room?

I spent 9 hours in this ER intake room today thanks to a bad back.
Someone yesterday said that my back pain was due to storing fears
about my book publishing in my root chakra. Interesting thought but
I'm more inclined to rely on science to dictate my chosen reality.

I noticed, though, as they were wheeling me out to admit me into the
hospital that my room was number 23 (the book publishes August 23),
and my doctor's name looks quite like Book.

All things just might be connected somehow, afterall? If so, I hope my
new room number, room 9 (day I was born), somehow means all that has
been off-balance in my life lately has been balanced and I have a new
beginning waiting for me when I'm discharged tomorrow.

Here's to new beginnings! (And to really fantastically strong pain
meds!)

Till or 'til?

Here's one that even Yahoo doesn't seem to know (neither does Sonic, so they're in good company). The abbreviation for the word until is till. Not, as Yahoo would like us to believe, 'til. Interestingly, the spellcheck on my iPhone tried to change 'til to 'till. Also, not correct.

Will people know what you mean if you use 'til or 'till? Sure! But why not be right (I like being right!) and use till?