Tsara Shelton's Blog, page 14

Autism Answer: Carrie's Car (Short Story)

*I came across a fun challenge: write a simple story with 250 words or less. So, I wrote this one! Carrie's Car is a story about a car that presents problems in order to offer its owner answers. Enjoy!# # #
It wasn’t the first time Carrie’s car had given her problems, but it felt like the worst. A flat tire would make her late for the job interview for certain.

Not that she wanted this job. Working in a store filled with plastic hurt her heart, but having no job at all hurt, too. Being homeless was dangerous.

Carrie climbed out of the car. Opening the trunk she gave a grateful grin to the dusty spare, tossed in only days before by the thoughtful mechanic who’d replaced her alternator. “You’ve got a jack but no spare. That’s no good.” He’d searched his junkyard for a tire that would fit. She said a silent “thank you” and hoisted it out.

While loosening lug nuts an SUV pulled over and a princess stepped out. Carrie stopped mid-turn to stare. The princess, wearing a blue gown and removing fancy gloves, smiled and waved.

“Hi there! Want some help?”

“Thanks! Are you sure you won’t be late for the ball?”

The princess laughed. “I was playing Cinderella at a child’s party. I own Party Play.”

They chatted and worked. Soon Carrie was admitting, “I’ve always adored kids.” She hesitated before blurting, “Do you think I could audition for you?”

The princess smiled. “Honestly? The main reason I pulled over is you look like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. I need a Dorothy. Here’s my card. Come by tomorrow and I’ll show you the ropes.”

It wasn’t the first time Carrie’s car had given her problems, but it felt like the best.
The End # # #
If you enjoy reading short thoughts and stories, I invite you to read my book Spinning in Circles and Learning from Myself: A Collection of Stories that Slowly Grow Up. Confession: I'm not the biggest fan of reading short thoughts and stories, but I am addicted to writing them. Maybe that makes us a good team? Like Carrie and her car! :D 
My book is available in paperback and as an eBook or Kindle via Amazon, Archway Publishing, Barnes and Noble, Powell's, etc. Find links here: Spinning in Circles and Learning from Myself 
Hugs, smiles, and love!!Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

Autism Answer: Eighteen Years Ago

I felt another tightening, more pain, closer together. I knew the boys would argue a bit when I told them it was time to go, even though Lion King 2 was only almost over, but I also knew we had to go. This was my fourth birth and I was feeling pretty certain about timing. Now was the time.

Surprisingly the three boys already born to me didn't argue for a moment, merely asked if they could borrow a game from the activity center before we left and headed back to our cabin unit. I was okay with that. They'd need a distraction while I - with the help of my mom - had a baby.

We walked from the activity center to our cabin, my oldest son holding the Battleship game, my second oldest holding my hand, and the baby (two years at the time) being my something to hold as we headed in the Missouri sun to the place where another one of us would soon add his voice to our resort vacation.

I briefly wished I could down a bunch of painkillers so this next part wouldn't hurt so bad.

We stumbled into the front room of our cabin (the tv was on, my mom and brothers were there, I gave mom the knowing look, she rushed to organize things as I allowed the pain to engulf me in its productive work) and I again wondered, what about one or two painkillers?

This was my fourth baby and my third home birth. But this was the first time I knew the gender of the baby before holding him in my arms. And again, it would be a him. My fourth son.

It was also the first time I would have a baby while also being married. Interestingly, my husband was not with us in Missouri. He was home in Texas, working and making money so when we got back to him our family could eat. He was - as he so often did and still does - missing out in order to give things to us. This baby was being born into a wonderful family.

As I began to push, my mom called the ambulance. This was our thing, you see. I had the baby at home but emergency help was on its way, just in case. Plus, they were sure to give me a safe ride to the hospital with my new little one.

Declyn came into my mom's world first, then mine, then our family's, and then - because we are good at sharing - the rest of the universe's.

He was perfect, of course, Babies are. He was also red, just as his brother guessed he would be. ("Tyran, what color do you think Declyn will be? Black or white?" family members would ask playfully. "Red." Tyran would respond confidently. We'd giggle, he'd look at as straight-faced and certain. He was right.)

He was a champion breastfeeder. Of course, since he was son number four I was pretty good myself. But, boy! Could he eat!

I don't remember much about our ride in the ambulance, thought the comedy of trying to get me and the stretcher up a bunch of uneven stone steps is pretty clear. My mom and my sons were following behind, my brothers were left to clean up the mess in the cabin (they sure do love to bring that up when asking me for a favor!).

I do remember the feeling of having all four of my sons with me in the hospital, my mom smiling at our side, my husband waiting to hear news at every new location.

It felt complete. It felt right. It felt like family and strength and love and happiness and exhaustion and possiblities and fears and hopes. It felt like life.

That was eighteen years ago today.

My baby, Declyn, is now a man. He doesn't remember that day eighteen years ago, but that day remembers him. That day will always be part of him.

And I hope to keep that in mind as he goes off on his next adventure: University without me. I hope to give him his space and trust that though the memories he makes without me will not be my memories, they will remember me.

Declyn is a brilliant, talented, thoughtful, couragous, kind young man. This is a fact. And for eighteen years I've had the privilege of being near him while he has grown and explored and questioned all of these parts of himself. He's planning to leave soon. And, darn, I'm going to miss him!

But I am also deeply grateful and excited for the opporunities he's found for himself. This kid, errrrr... man, knows how to live and be.

Much like the day he was born, he naturally seeks and discovers healthy nourishment in the world. 
And over the years he has brilliantly found ways to offer the same in return.

I'm going to miss him, but I'm (anxiously) excited for him, too!

Happy birthday, Declyn!!!! 

I love you, I love you, I love you!
Hugs, smiles, and love!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook) 

 

Autism Answer: Sunshine Blogger Award (My Acceptance Speech and Nominations)

"I would like to thank my fellow nominees and award winners...." In my imagination I stand on a stage wearing jeans with no holes in them (or, if there are holes they are purposefully placed and not a result of poverty and the friction of oversized thighs) while my sons, my husband, my mom, my sister, my nieces, my grandchildren, my brothers, and
Of course, in true life I sit surrounded by mess in my office/bedroom/living room wearing jeans with holes in them (a result of poverty and oversized thighs), not wearing deodorant (the sustainable healthy stuff I have is kind of expensive so I tend to deodorize every other, other day - today is between other days) and my family is scattered across the country, working on dreams and life goals of their own.

But, one thing remains real in both imagination and true life - we are happy and we watch each other in appreciation and love. (I'm not sure about Idris. Oh, he's with us happily in my imagination, but we're still working on that true life bit. Giggle!)

And so it is with great gratitude, and the support of my loved ones, that I accept the Sunshine Blogger Award! 

The Sunshine Blogger Award is given BY bloggers TO bloggers who inspire positivity and creativity in the blogging community. Thank you Cindy Kolbe, for nominating me! Cindy's beautiful, creative, positive blog is Struggling with Serendipity and I encourage you to visit.  

INTERESTING ADDITION: This is the second time I've been offered the Sunshine  Blogger Award. The timing was perfect for me then and the timing is perfect for me now! Words I Wheel By gave me the award in 2013, giving me reason to call myself a blogger, and Struggling with Serendipity has shared it with me now, boosting my reason to continue blogging. Thank you both!  


The Rules:
1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and link back to their blog
2. Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you
3. Nominate 11 bloggers to receive this award, and write 11 new questions
4. List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your blog
 
Cindy's Questions:

1)  What corner of the world are you from?

I was born in Oshawa, Ontario, Canada. I lived in Manitoba, Alberta, and spent summers in Saskatchewan, but most of my younger growing up was done in Ontario, in and around Toronto. I love that city!!  I moved to Texas, USA (Houston first, then Teague - a tiny town between Dallas and Houston) when I was a single mom with two small sons. I was following my family and thinking maybe they would come back to Canada with me. But when we got to Texas it was just so darn hot that we lost all motivation to do anything, so we stayed. (Seriously, I think that's one of the reasons people stay here. tee hee!) I had a few more sons, got happily married, and grew up even more in small-town Texas. I live mostly here now, but also spend a lot of time in Southern California where most of my family is living. 

2) How long have you been blogging?

This is always an interesting question for me because I don't think of myself as a blogger. I'm comfortable saying, "Like I wrote on my blog the other day..." but in my mind that just means the place where I keep musings and thoughts and stories I hope to share. Of course, that means I've been blogging, but I think my idea of blogging and bloggers is more about doing it consistently and with a more business style mentality. Not that I imagine all bloggers are selling or making money, just that I suspect most of them have at least a plan for what they will get from their blog. I'm more selfish. I just want a place to put the stuff I write where other people can read it but I don't have to be responsible to anyone but myself and my idea of how my ideas will affect the world. So, with that in mind, I've been blogging selfishly for about five years. :D

3) Why are you blogging?

I love figuring out what I think by writing. I love re-experiencing my moments through writing. I love exploring personalities unlike my own through writing (and reading). I love sharing the unique abilities, ideas, talents, and adorableness of my family through writing (often accompanied with images). And when I was a little girl I dreamed of becoming a mom and a writer when I grew up. I love giving myself exactly what I've always dreamed. So, I'm a mom and I'm writing. 

 4) What do you like best about blogging?

What I like best about blogging is undoubtedly the freedom to tell the stories I want to tell in the way I want to tell them whenever I feel compelled to do so. But another thing I like best, and a thing that surprised me, is all the people blogging has introduced me to. Of course, I know stories connect us. But in this world where the internet exists our stories can literally connect us to new people, often in far away places. Dare I even say new friends? Yes, I dare! After all, it's my blog so I get to write what I want in the way I want. Giggle! When I first heard about people "meeting" each other on the internet I kinda rolled my eyes. But I have learned that the friendships here are truer than I imagined at the time and I love it!

5) Where would you like to travel?

There are many places I would like to visit but if I was offered one dream travel opportunity it would be taking my sons to Toronto for a week with unlimited funds to visit all my old stomping grounds, eat in all my old favorite restaurants, and discover new stomping grounds and favorites together. 

 
6) What would you do if there was no chance of failing?

Hmmmm.... that's a great question! I really don't know. All the things I want to do that I haven't done yet are not things where failure deters me. I am slowed down by timing and finances, sure, but I don't mind the idea of failing in those endeavors. Let me think about this one and come back to it.

*Maybe what I'd do if there was no chance of failing is cook for people. I often avoid cooking because I'm not confident in a kitchen. No, that's not really an idea that means much to me. Let me keep thinking about it.  

**Okay, now I know! If there was no chance of failing I would volunteer my time far more often to events in our community. I love being helpful, I love pitching in, but far too often in the past I have heard later that things I did or said were causing a few folks to feel uncomfortable. Now, a few of those things I would still do (breastfeeding in public, for example) even while knowing they were causing a stir, but I would maybe do them with a different attitude. I honestly couldn't imagine back then that some of these sorts of things (not smacking my kids when they were misbehaving, for example) had folks squirming with discomfort. However, even more often I didn't ever figure out what I did or said, or didn't do or say, that had people snorting out phrases like, "We just don't like your kind around here." So, I don't pitch in as often around town. But now that I've been given this opportunity to put it down in words (thanks for asking the question, Cindy!) I may go ahead and put myself out there again. With the understanding that it's okay for me to care about other people and their feelings, but it's not my job to babysit them. "I'm not doing it that way to be different; I'm different, so I'm doing it that way." ~Dr. Lynette Louise (The Brain Broad)
 
7) Favorite season?

Autumn!!!! Especially in Toronto!! Especially with coffee!!

 
8) Favorite food?

Cheese and crackers. *Hey, that gives me an idea for number six!


9) Favorite music?

My son wrote and performed the song "Brothers" as a surprise for me and his brothers. That is my favorite song:


And my mom, Dr. Lynette Louise (The Brain Broad), has two albums out that I LOVE. Sing Me A Song.... Please! and Crazy to Sane.

Brainiac is my favorite song from the Crazy to Sane album: 


But I don't have "favorite music" because it truly depends on my mood. However, I will admit, I LOVE music! In fact, I've written a couple of songs myself. Here I am singing Sexy Daydreams (Or My Life is Awesome):  



10) Favorite book?

Roots: The Saga of an American Family by Alex Haley. 

11) Favorite quote?

Quotes are interesting. They're so powerful when you hear or read the right one at the right moment, and then later you can't quite remember why it shook your core to such a strong degree. The quote didn't change, but you did. 

However, these few always give me something important. 

"I'm not doing it that way to be different; I'm different, so I'm doing it that way." ~Dr. Lynette Louise (The Brain Broad) **This one just gave me a reason to know what my answer is for number six! I'll go add it now.

"I feel it coming in, my voice is getting an opinion." ~Jory Rand Shelton (my oldest son) 

"Talk way more about the things you like than the things you don't. Watch how the world responds, creating itself for your attention." ~Me 

"Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own." ~Bruce Lee

My Nominations:  
(Please forgive the small number. I don't really read blogs! I don't enjoy reading on a screen. See? My selfish blogger side is showing.)

Unlimited Pieces of Me

Myzania

Brainpickings 

Quirks and Chaos 

My 11 Questions (should they choose to participate)

Do you live in a house, apartment, RV, car, dorm, etc?

What do you like best about where you live?

Are you living with many people, alone, or something in-between? 

What are some of the perks of your living situation?

What is a challenge of your living situation?

Do you prefer coffee or tea? HINT: Coffee. Giggle!

At what age (so far) have you been the happiest?

What is a hobby you have?

What is a hobby you wish you had?

Has anything about writing or blogging surprised you?

Have you met your blogging goals, if you had any? 

BONUS: Do you think I'm selfish because I don't really read very many blogs? ;D


Thank you again for this honor, Cindy! I hope my acceptance speech didn't take up too much of everyone's time, but it was my great pleasure to write it. And look at how my sons are staring lovingly at me while I accept this award! (Go ahead, imagine it with me. I hope you'll include yourself, too. Oh, and coffee!! Let's add coffee!) 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

Autism Answer: Candid Book (written by ME!) Offers a Unique and Intimate Narrative on Parenting, Autism, and Growing Up

Recently I was honored with a request. 

I have been a fan of Disabled World (both the website and the twitter page) for a few years now. I love the global nature of the information and am deeply grateful for the helpful, thoughtful, readable, and carefully curated content. Encouraging us to have empathy without pity while bringing us news about programs, studies, and entertainment that moves society as a whole forward, together.

In fact, it was one of the first places I sent the Press Release to when my mom began offering her one woman musical comedy show, Crazy to Sane , free to venues and events every year in the month of April (Autism Awareness Month) and I felt a surge of pride when the release was published on their site. I decided it meant I must have also managed a healthy mix of usefulness and thoughtfulness! Yea, me! :D Check that out here: Autism Awareness: Music, Comedy, and Brain Science

So you can imagine my thrill at being asked by the admin of Disabled World for information on my book, Spinning in Circles and Learning from Myself: A Collection of Stories that Slowly Grow Up, for their website. 
(Go ahead, imagine it. I'll wait ... ... ... Fun, right?!!) 

The offer was a good opportunity to update the press release I had written when my book was first published. And, of course, to retweet, share, post, and otherwise show off that there is now a picture of me and my book on a website I'm a fan of. That's always a treat that goes well with coffee!! 

Here's an excerpt of the story. I encourage you to visit Disabled World to read it in it's entirety. Be sure to click around and check out all the valuable content while you're there! Oh, and follow the site on Twitter:  @DisabledWorld

From Disabled World: 

"Tsara Shelton is the oldest of eight children - six were adopted, and four came into the home with several diagnosis such as autism and fetal alcohol syndrome. She is also the daughter of renowned international brain change expert Dr. Lynette Louise, aka The Brain Broad, a single mom who brought up her brood with creativity (they traveled North America learning geography and performing inspirational comedy in prisons for almost a year) and a powerful belief in their abilities.

Having grown up in a home overflowing with out of the box characters and a ferocious love for family, the author was in a unique position to observe culture and society. Tsara was born with a typical brain and typical tendencies that were consistently and beautifully challenged by a not so typical family and lifestyle."

Read the article here: Spinning in Circles and Learning from Myself by Tsara Shelton 

# # #

Have a peek at me nervously talking a bit more about my book in this short video: 

 

Oh, and if you have news to share with the disability community, I encourage you to submit to Disabled World! (Submission info is easily found on the website.)

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

Autism Answer: This Is America - Considered (Guest Post by Declyn Shelton)

My youngest son, Declyn, is a staff writer for his school paper. Recently he wrote an opinion piece on the popular and disturbing and brilliant and artistic music video for This is America by Childish Gambino (Donald Glover). However, one of his colleague's wrote an article about the video, and the significant online discussions regarding the many meanings represented, before he submitted his. (I higly recommend reading her piece, it's fantastic: "This Really Is... America" by Jazmin Morales) So, since the school paper isn't planning to publish Declyn's article, I asked if I could publish it as a guest post. 

Lucky us, he said yes!

So, here it is friends. 
You're welcome. :D  
___________________________________________________

This is America - Considered by Declyn Shelton

Donald Glover (a.k.a. Childish Gambino) does it again! He has displayed a culturally impactful message with his latest release of the "This is America" music video.  In the video, he depicts the costumed horrors of society from church shootings to the notorious Jim Crow. Through his strange facial expressions and movements, he does an accurate – and chilling - impersonation of the Jim Crow caricature. 

This video is a narration of how the world has all these terrible things that have
happened and are happening that we aren't, and shouldn't be, blind to.  He shows so many injustices that have occurred or are occurring while dancing to keep the audience interested and distracted from the horrors.

This music video should hopefully cause an upsurge in awareness of terrible events that may happen in our future. Not just "we know about that" but an actual awareness of the danger our distractions and inaction, and even our coping strategies, allow. With this video, Glover offers a story of America that is hard to express in words but is powerfully shown.

I asked a close friend of mine, as someone who hadn't listened to Gambino before, what she thought of the video and she said, "I loved the video, I kept watching it over and over! It is the kind of video that you watch repeatedly to find something new each time you see it."

I have no idea what Glover will do next, but I am very impressed by the message he has portrayed with his latest work.
# # #

Watch the music video here: Childish Gambino - This is America 

Autism Answer: About Last Night

Declyn

I made myself a peppermint tea (shhh! don't tell coffee) in my favorite to-go mug, kissed my exhausted hard working hubby on the cheek, and headed out the door.
I decided to pick up Declyn's farther away friend first. Declyn's theatre class was putting on their first annual talent show and I was picking up two of his friends to bring to the event.
I was sipping and singing and enjoying the short drive deep into the green trees. As is always the case when headed out to this boy's home, I saw critters and majestic mammals. The early evening was beautiful. I felt happy and open.
My son's friend was waiting for me when I arrived and thanked me as he climbed into the car. I let him know it was my pleasure to gather an audience for the show. I love showing off the theatre kids!
As we headed back toward town to pick up friend number two, we chatted.
ME: You're a senior also, right? Are you excited to graduate? Do have mixed feelings about the transition?
FRIEND: I'm excited. I've never really had friends. I'm kind of an outsider or an outcast.
ME: Well, you've got your group now. The boys spend every weekend at your house till 3AM almost without fail!
FRIEND: Ya, that's now. I've moved a lot and always tried to get a group together to play D&D (Dungeons and Dragons). Finally, I have this group.
ME: *Giggling* Well, you found yourself a great group of outsiders here!
FRIEND: Ya, they're all that way. Declyn is funny, too. He has the look and talents of the popular kids, you know? And he does fit in with them but he's an outsider, too. Because he has almost everything they do except, well, he's not an asshole. Oh, sorry for the language!
ME: No problem! You just told me my son is not an asshole. You don't have to be too careful with your language to tell me that. I'll take it presented however you want o present it!
FRIEND: That makes sense. I was wondering, why do you write about autism? I heard you say to someone that you sometimes write about autism.
ME: Well, I have a lot of autistic family members and I've learned a lot about life and listening and actually truly caring about our differences because of it. and since I love to write, it's one of the things I write about.
FRIEND: That's neat. Hey, autism isn't a bad thing though, right? From my limited understanding it's kind of a serious focus on things that makes them know more about it.
ME: I believe you're referring to the interests or perseverations. And you're right, autism isn't a bad thing but it does mean certain things are harder. And the interests you're talking about can mean a lot of different things in different people. Some interests are really hard to use well, and tend to interrupt an ability to follow conversation in common ways. Or even, sometimes, just to be happy. For some folks it's not too intense, for others it's really disruptive and hard. In my family there are so many styles and I've learned to see the similarities while noticing the vast differences.
FRIEND: Declyn said he used to have autism.
ME: Ya, he's lucky that my mom is who she is! She helped us work on his sensory issues and eye contact challenges in such fun and kind ways. And he doesn't seem to have autism anymore. The social challenges were the longest lasting, I think. No, sensory too.
FRIEND: I have a strong memory of a time I made a mean joke around one of my other friends who had autism, before I knew he had autism.
ME: Oh, boy. Kiddo. we all have those.Maybe not specific to autism, but the times we were mean.
FRIEND: Well. We were playing D&D and I made a joke about a choice someone made. I was like, "What, is your character autistic?" And then my friend was like, "You know, that's not a nice joke. Did you know that I'm autistic?" And - my brother has it on video actually - I just sat there. Stone-faced. I didn't know what to say!
ME: Ya, we've all made comments or jokes that are accidentally cruel. I think it's a willingness to listen to people and their reasons when they point it out that helps us grow thoughtful. But we don't know what we don't know, so it's bound to happen to all of us. Particularly when we're young.
FRIEND: Well, I had noticed that my friend had weird habits and, I don't know, was just kind of strange I guess? But we all kind of were, like I said, I'm an outcast. But I'd noticed it on him more. So I probably should have known better.
ME: Seriously, don't beat yourself up. I made similar mistakes all the time and my brothers were autitstic so I had every opportuntiy to know better.
We pulled up to the next friend's house. This friend has been Declyn's best friend since pre-K. As he came up to my car wearing his usual wide almost goofy grin, I felt a moment of pure happiness. Almost as though the car-ride conversation was being given a comfortable closer.
This friend of Declyn's had been pulled out of school to be homeschooled. Largely because of his outcast ways. He and Declyn were being bullied by their Christian peers for their intense interest in Greek mythology and the Greek Gods. Declyn sruggled for a few months, but told me he wanted to stay in school. We dealt with it that way, knowing that we were working with the goal of staying. His friend, on the other hand, worked on it with a different goal. And so he worked on it with his mom and they chose leaving.
They both were supported by parents and went the direction of their goals. It's a beautiful thing!
But last night his friend came back to the school - and it was his eighteenth birthday! - to watch his friend, my son, dance on stage in a talent show, senior scholarship fundraiser. And at the end of the night, my son took the mic and sang happy birthday to his friend.
My son drove his outsider friends home, with me - his mom, who has always felt on the edges of society - in the passenger seat.
I think we have all felt like outsiders or outcasts at times. And for many of us an inkling of that is just right. After all, we are all alone and only ourselves and "outside" to some degree. But for many of us, we are even farther outside, it's harder to find our groups or to connect.
But it happens. And when it does, it's a beautiful thing to watch!
Much like how watching my son dance is a beautiful thing to watch.
Oh, what's that? You'd like to see for yourself. Well, I thought you'd never ask! (Errrr.... you did want to ask but I wouldn't stop talking? Sorry about that! tee hee!) Here's that dance you waited patiently through my story for!  

Happy Friday, friends!!
Outcasts, popular kids, and everyone in-between!! 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)
BTW: The video straightens out after the first few seconds.

Autism Answer: Suggestions For Taking Action This Autism Awareness & Acceptance month (April)

  My brother bowling thanks to volunteers.


Straight up, I admit it, most of these suggestions are going to include links to something my mom (Dr. Lynette Louise, known as "The Brain Broad") made. But that's because my suggestions are awesome and so is the stuff my mom makes. 

So, let's dive into some awesome suggestions, shall we?

Oh, and by the way, happy April!!

Okay, let's begin: 

1) Watch the international docu-series FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD! Both seasons one and two (Uganda and USA, respectively) are available free on The Autism Channel and Women's Broadcast Network. Also you can rent or own the show via Vimeo On Demand (This is my favorite way to watch the show! Though it costs money it also means you have access anytime from any device. It is a great way to revisit and review new lessons, enjoy the show with friends, or have a screening in your community!)  

Oh, what's that? You have no idea what FIX IT IN FIVE is? Well, I'm sorry to hear that! Basically, it's an idea hatched out of Lynette’s desire to share her tools of change with thousands of families worldwide. No biggie.
Dr. Lynette Louise is invited into homes around the world where she teaches important attitudinal shifts and brain science to families struggling with brain disorders. Hundreds of children, parents, aunts, and grandpas have benefited from her passion and neurofeedback equipment. According to Lynette, “That’s not enough!” 
By offering her services as a docu-series she is able to give families willing to be on camera a free five day life-changing therapy marathon. At the same time audiences are gifted with answers, entertainment and an exampling of living life with creativity and intention. So, you know, a way to make the world a more understanding, safe, and fun place for people of all types. That's all. :D 
Follow this link for more info, videos, and links for viewing the show: FIX IT IN FIVE with THE BRAIN BROAD
2) Watch a film, listen to music, or read a book written by, starring, or otherwise created by someone with autism. Now, yes, I'm going to specifically link to stuff my mom has made (she herself is Historically Asperger's and also she casts autistic actors, as well as other neurodiverse cast and crew, in her projects) but the point is the most important part. You don't have to watch or read or rock out to my mom's stuff so long as you purposely seek art created by and performed by autistics. For example, my mom's stuff!  

Here are three specific suggestions:

a) Living with Lynette - Available for viewing is the pilot episode of Living with Lynette, a show she created with the plan to always hire neurodiverse actors, writers, and crew. In this episode, all of the actors have the diagnosis attributed to them. Also, I play "Sherry" the neighbor with an addiction to having too many carreers. I admit, I don't actually have that problem. Unless you count my addiction to reading which gives me the opportunty to IMAGINE having all kinds of carreers! 

Follow this link to watch Living with Lynette free on YouTube: Living with Lynette 

b) Crazy to Sane - My mom wrote and performed this one-woman musical comedy about her life quite a few years ago. The show is about healing herself and her family from the traumas of abuse, while also healing their brains. Autism, abuse, adoption, parenting, and healing are the main themes while laughter and music are the delivery system. Crazy to Sane has been performed around the world and regardless of language or culture it always brings audiences to their feet with tears, gratitude, and a desire to sing along! 

You can purchase the show CD (digital or physical CD) and watch music videos here: Crazy to Sane



c) Miracles are Made: A Real Life Guide To Autism - Miracles are Made is a real life guide, written from the happenings of real life. In Miracles Are Made my mom not only shares stories from her personal and professional life, but also illuminates the whys and the wherefores of the social climate parents find themselves in when coping with autism. So whether you have autism in your immidiate world or not, it offers a glimpse into how we, as people in the world, are all affecting each other. And then, by highlighting neurofeedback and the plasticity of the brain, she offers valuable solutions. She teaches us how to make the best of what is possible and recreate the healings she has been fortunate enough to facilitate. As a reader you come away understanding how to understand autism. You come away knowing what to do.

To learn more about Miracles are Made and mom's other books, follow this link: BOOKS by Lynette Louise


3) Enter to win a signed copy of my book, Spinning in Circles and Learning from Myself, which is being given away FREE (for folks in the USA) by The Perfect Piece this Autism Awareness Month! (Okay, this one isn't exactly something my mom made but it is a book of stories about my life which, no surprise, includes a lot of stuff about mom. And, if we're getting technical, my mom made me and I made the book so, I guess it is still something she made! Giggle!) Head on over to The Perfect Piece, send in a pic that represents what autism means in your life (get creative! Have fun!) and it will be posted on The Perfect Piece social media accounts. Likes, comments, and shares get you points. Also, there are several other ways to gain points beyond that. Be sure the visit the page and ask questions! Then, when you win, you can read my book, love it, and tell everyone you know about it. Now, I am not autistic. However, as you know, I have grown-up surrounded by autism. So I like to think my book is a candid (and kind) perspective of growing-up alongside autism. 

4) Ask about autism. Thoughtfully and with kind curiosity and interest. Open yourself up to believing and understanding and mostly listening. And, again, ask. Be sure to largely ask autistics. Listen to and learn from parents and experts who aren't autistic also, but largely ask autistics. If you aren't comfortable or certain how or who to ask, begin with the internet. But PLEASE be kind, careful, and clear in your searches. I admit that there's a lot of debate and high emotion in the autism community. How to say it (autistic or has autism?) how to talk about it (a gift, a curse, a sickness, a style) how to represent your support (a puzzle piece, the color blue, light it up, the infinity sign) etc, but in my experience the most important part is to care, to listen, and to truly take steps to understand the reasons for the debates more than the conclusions people come to. The reasons are where the important seeds can be found. 

One place you can learn a bit more about autism is, wait for it.... my mom's autism and neurofeedback site!! Brain and Body. (Phew! I almost didn't mention stuff my mom makes there. Close one. tee hee!) 

To learn about autism and neurofeedback follow these links: Brain and Body - Autism information | Brain and Body - What is Neurofeedback? | Brain and Body - Autism & Neurofeedback 

5) Join autism groups, read articles, volunteer at a church, school, workplace, anywhere that includes folks on the spectrum of autism. If you are making a movie or if you own a business, hire people with autism. IMPORTANT: Take an extra moment to rethink the way you've been thinking about that guy that you see acting strangely in your local store or the parent you see allowing behaviors you don't understand. Be kind and interested, not judgemental and afraid.  (No links to stuff my mom made here, but I'm being entirely honest when I tell you that my mom wished for this more than anything when she was raising eight kids on her own, six adopted and four on the autism spectrum. She wished for, more than anything, less judgement. She taught us the value of this and asked that we always do our best to example it. We try.) 

Those are my suggestions for taking action this Autism Awareness And Acceptance Month! Maybe share this post around so that others can take action with you. Add suggestions of your own when you share it! 

Have fun, get creative, be kind, and let's promise ourselves to teach at least one new thing and to learn at least one new thing this April.

We'll meet back here in May and share our results!!

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

Autism Answer: The Top Three Reasons I Take A Selfie (What About You?)

When my sons were little I took selfie-like pics of me with them often. Back then I didn't have access to digital pics or social media. So, I would take three or four in the hopes that one turned out alright ("alright" meaing that I captured the mood I was after and we don't look too unkempt, or - in the case of me personally - like a mean cackling witch) and then wait a month or two until I could afford to have the photos developed to find out how I did. In most cases, I threw away a few of these photos keeping only the ones I mostly liked for our photo album. (Back then a photo album was a physical thing. Boy, I'm old! tee hee!)

Anyway, now that I can use my phone to snap as many pics as I want at no extra cost while knowing how simple it is to delete the ones that don't work, I still sometimes take selfie-style photos with my son. Also, with my nieces and siblings and friends and my granddaughter! I love especially when I can capture the mood of our moments together! Some I share on social media, most I keep for myself and my family to scroll through when the moment calls for it.

But now, with my access to digital photos and social media, along with my new role of sometimes marketer, I also take a lot of selfies. Simply, a picture of me. Not only that, but I take pictures of myself to share with others. It feels weird, I admit, taking a bunch of pics of myself and then looking for the one that works. It's a little bit embarassing even, and I always look around furtively in hopes that no one will see me. So, why do I do it? 

Well, good question. I was wondering that myself! So I thought about it and discovered that these are the three most common reasons I take selfies. 

1) I'm Not A Good Enough Photographer To Capture Mood with Inanimate Objects

This one comes up mostly when I'm trying to get a good picture of a book. Books are freaking beautiful! They stir emotions and possiblity in me, and every time I'm reading a Coffee and a book.new one I want to share it with the world. Partly as a way to share book suggestions with followers and partly as a way to show folks what I'm reading so they can chime in with comments if they know the book or the author and have thoughts to share. But, now and then, I also try to get pics of other objecst that stir a mood in me. Headphones, pencils, coffee, etc. However, the mood stirred in me that I want to share I can rarely capture. Enter the selfie. It's easier for me to model the mood (while holding the book, wearing the headphones, nibbling the pencil, you get it) than it is to use lighting, props, and filters to create the image that evokes the feelings. So, the most common reason I take selfies is because I'm not a great photographer but I want badly to share something well. Hence, I put myself in the pic and model the mood and pose with the item (again, most often a book) because I don't - yet! - want badly enough to learn the skill of photography. 

   
 
2) I Want To Accompany My Words With An Image But I Don't Know The Rules 
 

I'll want to post a story or a thought, or I'll want to tell folks about one of my mom's books or shows or interviews, and I want to use an image to capture attention as well as add Coffee and one of my mom's books!

personality to the post. But I don't know what the rules are exactly about copyright, privacy, etc. If I take a photo that includes a business logo or storefront, how much freedom do I have to post? If there is a person in the picture but I write a thought or opinion that goes against their values, is that fair? If I want to use photos from photo sharing sites, I often have to pay and always have to understand exactly what each copyright rule means and how to fairly use the image - creative commons, fair use, yadda yadda, I'm not confident I understand the meanings. So, I just take a photo of me or something I made. And then I give me permission to use it. 

 



3) I Think My Hair Looks Particularly Cool And Want It To Be Seen

Ya, that happens sometimes. Not often, but sometimes. I'll walk by a window, see my Check out my hair!reflection and think that my hair is looking pretty awesome. Then I'll notice for a moment that I live a very quiet life with not many people around. There's my hubby and my youngest son. Sometimes my brother stops by. But that's about it. I work from home and even the hours that I volunteer are mostly done on my computer. So, I'll take a selfie and post it! Admittedly, I don't say, "I think my hair looks cool," in the post, I almost always come up with something else to mention. Also, I don't sit around wondering if other people think my hair looks cool, that's not really the point. I just post and think, neat! I captured the cool way my hair is falling today! How fun! 

So, there we have it. The three most common reasons I take a selfie. I mainly wanted to share with you because I think it's fun. But also, I think it's valuable to take the time to notice what we do and why we do it. Also, selfies are far more common now than they were when I first started taking them with my 110 film cartridge. So I think it's a healthy excersise to consider our reasons. I hear people assume that it's to show off our awesome lives or to get attention by trying to look attractive and then hoping for likes and comments. Sure, some people probably do that some of the time. And if we catch ourselves doing that, serving images of ourselves and our activities up to the virutual world in hopes of some validation of sorts, well, we would do well to think about that. Maybe make a change. I don't think that's safe or healthy. 

But I think a great many of us take selfies (and share our lives, our opinions, our talents) for such a wide variety of reasons that it's worth thinking about. 

In fact, today is an important day with a small tie-in, I think. While I'm writing a silly fun post about taking pictures of myself, millions of people are marching around the world with the intention of changing American gun laws. This important movement (which, full disclosure, I support) was largely started by a traumatized group of teens from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, recent victim of a mass shooting. 

Now, these young people have been outspoken, well organized, and clear of message from the beginning. There are, of course, many reasons why these students have been capable of Wondering about what we do and why we do it, for our grandchildren.speaking with strength and clarity, but I'm quite sure one of the reasons they are comfortable speaking on camera and able to market their message well is, well, the selfie-style time they are growing up in. Taking a video of yourself and posting it online, with the possiblitiy of who knows how many seeing it, is how they're growing up. Taking a picture of yourself and then posting it - for reasons healthy and un - is how they've grown up. Hashtagging to find a target audience, and also to create a memorable meaningful slogan, is how they've grown up. And, sadly, school shooter drills is, too. So the successful turnout and attention of this weekend's  #MarchForOurLives is probably in part due to the selfie generation taking the time to think about the reasons for selfies. And, of course, due to the fact that it's a just cause to march for. 

So, I wanted to write about why I take selfies because it's fun. But also, as it is with most things, there is something valuable in it. 

Do you ever take selfies? 
If so, do you share them? 
With your family or on social media? 

Why?
Have you every wondered?
It might be a good thing to know.  

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)

Autism Answer: In The Parking Lot

In the car

I was sitting in our car waiting for my hubby to come out of the auto parts store, my window slightly open and a cool spring breeze tickling my cheeks. 

A big old noisy truck pulled up beside me and a nice looking elderly couple smiled at me from their open windows. I comfortably smiled back. 

Humming to myself I watched as the gentleman from the truck stepped awkwardly out of his vehicle (perhaps babying tender muscles or creaky joints, I thought) and I shared another smile with the woman who chose to stay behind. Kindred spirits, I felt. She picked up her phone and began to scroll. I giggled, picked up my phone and took the selfies in this post. 

Then my husband came out to the car carrying a new alternator, placed it by my feet on the passenger side, and excused himself to head back into the store. I stretched, kissed his cheek while he uncomfortably allowed it (displays of affection are nervous things for my husband so I rarely do them but sometimes, well, sometimes I can hardly help it) and I watched as he moved with a quick shuffle toward the store. Our age is showing, I happily sighed. I like it. 

As my look drifted toward the woman in the truck I was shocked out of my moment by angry eyes and an accusatory shaking of her head. I tried a smile but she only huffed and looked back down at her phone. 



Hmmm.... what had I done? The kiss was literally a peck on the cheek. I would ask nothing more than that of my husband, anyhow. Hmmm... had I imagined the anger? Perhaps. Wait. Here comes the gentleman she was with. Sharply she said, "we have to go." That's how she welcomed him back. Ya, I think it might be something about me. Oh, well. Probably the mixed-race relationship thing, or maybe my husband's age compared to mine. We used to get angry stares pretty often. Or, maybe, she also doesn't like displays of affection. Even tiny ones. I suppose it could have been my humming that bothered her. 

Of course, it may have had absolutely nothing at all to do with me and may have been something on her phone that shifted her mood, our eye contact and her head-shaking completely unnoticed by her in whatever headspace she was in. That's quite possible. Equally as possible as any reason I had imagined already, and all the others I hadn't. 

Anyway, they drove away while I stayed. Humming and thinking and enjoying the breeze. 

Sitting in our car waiting for my hubby to come out of the auto parts store. 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook) 

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Running errands with my husband 

Autism Answer: Not A Traditional Family

Me and my son at UTA in Arlington

"My family is not a traditional family because it is extremely open, diverse, and strange. Everyone that I know in my family doesn’t judge others, rather we accept their differences and try to help them. My grandmother, on my mom’s side, helps those with autism, myself being included in those she’s treated. I had a mild case of autism at a young age, which affected my social skills, but my grandmother provided Neurofeedback and helped my brain function normally. My brain hadn’t fully recovered until I was in 5th grade. This made me strong enough to overcome social, personal, and educational challenges. I have become a more accepting person and freely able to express myself because my family is so diverse." ~Declyn Shelton, my youngest son.

That's a snippet from my son's essay to a University in response to the prompt: "What was the environment in which you were raised? Describe your family, home, neighborhood, or community, and explain how it has shaped you as a person." 

Today he and I visited one of the Universities he's thinking of attending. We had a blast! The campus tour was informative, the guide was delightfully fun, and it was a beautiful day. 

As we drove home afterward, he teared up a little; surprising himself with a flood of emotion. He pulled the car off of the Interstate about halfway between Dallas and our small town (two hours south) so I could drive the rest of the way home. He started texting friends he hadn't seen in a while and making plans to hang out this week, which is their spring break. He looked at me and laughed while wiping away tears, "I can't believe how emotional I am! All the memories I've made are already made. Now I'm about to start making new ones. It feels weird and exciting and sad. Wow! Who'd have thought, right mom? University. Wow!" 

I just nodded. I felt my feelings waiting their turn. For now, I really want to experience life on the edges of his. 

After making plans to hang out with one of his best friends from much younger years, and talking a bit about how their friendship had taken an uncomfortable turn for a while, my son said to me, "You know, mom, I was always a different kind of kid. Wise, in a way. I blame you for that. You were always so non-judgemental of everyone but you also let us see the world for what it was, so I wasn't naive. Just free and wise." He got quiet then. We enjoyed the rest of the drive in emotional but lovely silence. 

I don't know if Declyn will go to The University of Texas at Arlington (though it's possible he will) but I do know that before the year is over he'll be doing something I have no frame of reference for. I've never been to University. 

Well, except for today. 

And with my youngest son at my side, it was easy to like it.
(Also, it helps that I don't have any assignments due. tee hee!)

I hope you and your family are finding ways to celebrate and harness the diversity and challenges in your world with a portion of the passion and pride my son is able to! 

As parents, we can worry that perhaps having "difference" in the home puts unfair pressure on our children, and in some ways it does. But pressure is not bad inherently. It can be molded and shaped and over time, reveal a strong, beautiful diamond. 

My son is constantly reminding me of that. 

Hugs, smiles, and love!!
Autism Answers with Tsara Shelton (Facebook)
 
P.S. I don't know if I should tell him the truth about who I was in his childhood. Sure, I was non-judgemental-ish but that was partly because I still had a bit of low self-esteem and I assumed everyone else was more successful than me in some way. If he knew that would he still blame me for his wise? Nah. Why risk it? Giggle!
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For Info on the Neurofeedback my son talked about in his essay, visit my mom's autism and neurofeedback website: www.brainbody.net / or her personal website: www.lynettelouise.com
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