Donnalynn Civello's Blog, page 25

The Secret to Truly Powerful People

… is in their ability to be humble.

Real power is in the mark of someone who doesn’t need to hide behind an over-inflated ego. It is the mark of someone who has achieved everything and yet has nothing to prove. It is the mark of someone who is truly comfortable in their skin and truly comfortable in their ability to be REAL, not living behind a shield of pretense. It is the mark of someone who truly knows who they are and can stand firm in the face of adversity. It is in the mark of someone who doesn’t need, nor seek validation from others.

In other words, truly powerful people know where real power resides and they know that it is NEVER outside of them. They know that power is NOT to be found in fame or fortune. It is NOT to be found in the car they drive or in the number of beach homes they have. It is NOT to be found in the amount of money they make or in their social status. It is NOT to be found in the brands they wear, nor the people they hang around with.

Truly powerful people know that their power comes from within. They have an innate ability to see themselves. They are able to admit their faults. They are able to accept responsibility for their actions especially when they are less than desirable. They are able to constructively hear criticism and subsequently apply the learning. They are able to share their more difficult life experiences with others in hopes to promote their growth without worrying about how they might appear. And even more importantly, they do not need accolades because they know that the best reputations are created without even trying.

Truly powerful people have nothing to prove and yet everything to share with the world. They are modest, and are more interested in helping others for the sake of truly making a difference NOT for what it says about them.

The secret to truly powerful people lies in the ability to practice humility and vulnerability. These beings realize that it is never about physical strength or mental strength – it is always about emotional strength. There is a strength in admitting your limitations that can never be found in the professing of your achievements.

Do you want to be a truly powerful person? Do you want to be recognized in your field? Do you want to influence others and help to inspire them? Do you want to make a difference in the world? Stop trying to DO all that and start BEING REAL within yourself. Your ability to be truly powerful lies within YOU never outside of you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Fixing People Never Works

… getting out of their way does.

After all, if you can’t fix them, you don’t want to get cut on their broken edges.

We tend to have expectations of people. We believe in “who they can be,” not necessarily who they have chosen to be. But it’s not your job to get people to change. Your wanting to change them (albeit for the own personal benefit) isn’t enough to get people to change. People have to feel that they are ready to make change and then embrace their own process to do so. Until then your words will fall on deaf ears and will only render you frustrated and create resentment on their part – everyone loses.

If you really want to “fix people,” help them to see why they may be broken. Highlight aspects of their behavior and kindly bring it to their attention and then STEP BACK. That might mean take yourself out of the equation for a bit so that they can do the work. If you stay in their life, they may not feel the need to do the work. But your absence may encourage them to reach higher. When you give people space, they generally find their own way towards change. When you sit on top of them, no doubt they will resist your efforts.

Choosing to stay in their life is fine as long as you detach from your need for them to change. You can’t make people be who you want them to be or be who you think they should be. You have to let people be who they are. And in the process of giving them that space, the seeds you plant with them will hopefully blossom over time.

You want to fix people? Teach them to plant better seeds for themselves and then GET OUT OF THEIR GARDEN. Let them nurture their own growth. And maybe one day, they will share their harvest with you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Sleepwalking Your Way Through Your Life

… will always leave you in a place you do NOT want to be.

How could it leave you anywhere else?

No one consciously sets out to sleepwalk. It is an unconscious programming – an unconscious walk throughout your life. If you are NOT consciously looking at your behavior and how you are showing up in life, then you are sleepwalking your way through it and most likely will wake up in a place you didn’t mean to be in.

Why is that the case? Because sleepwalking is unconscious. And only conscious behavior can bring you to where you want to be in your life. Sleepwalking only purports negative programming as it encourages repetitive deconstructive cycles – as in nighttime eating and dangerous walking, etc. Sleepwalking doesn’t get you ahead. It keeps you stuck in negative cycles.

If you are not looking at your behavioral patterns and questioning how it is you got to where you are in your life, then you are NOT doing the work of conscious walking. You are most likely reacting unconsciously to what is going on for you and subsequently sleepwalking your way through it.

You can keep blaming everyone else for the bad that happens in your life or you can wake up today from your debilitating slumber and realize that you have brought it all on yourself and decide that you want to change it. People who sleepwalk blame others for waking up naked outside. People who are awake acknowledge that they have some issues that are causing them to want to take off their clothes and run naked through the streets in their sleep and as a result, they begin to do the work on healing those issues so they can break the pattern.

Wake up, your life is too short to sleepwalk it away. Get back into the driver’s seat of your life and vow to identify your patterns and make the decision to address your issues more consciously. Personal transformation starts with the recognition that you want to WAKE UP TO YOUR LIFE. It is happening right here, right now and the sooner you can wake up and recognize that the decisions you may have made thus far are not serving you, the sooner you can make decisions that will better serve you.

Are you ready to wake up and own your life or are you still sleepwalking? Any time you are ready to stop hitting the snooze button, your life will truly begin.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

 

 

 

 

The Road to Success

…. is paved with FAILURES.

It has to be. How else would you get there?

Success is an uphill battle – everyday. It’s a steep incline up a treacherous mountain that few dare to tread. It is not for everyone. It not only requires hard work, dedication and laser-sharp focus; it requires perseverance and a will to NEVER GIVE UP.

But what most people do not realize is that success also requires FAILURE – and lots of it. In short, our mistakes are what make us great – they push us to become stronger, wiser and more adaptable. They push us to learn and evolve and become keenly resourceful and supremely strategic.

The question isn’t – “are you successful?” It is “have you done the work necessary to BECOME a success.” A lot of people do not want to do the work necessary to become a success, they just want it, expect it, feel entitled to it and put out the bare minimum to get it.

To have a successful career, you have to work HARD at it everyday.

To have a successful relationship, you have to work HARD at it everyday.

To have a successful anything, you have to WORK HARD to earn that success. You do not just get it because you want it.

Nothing good ever comes easy and nothing easy is ever really worth having. Newsflash: if you are looking for anything in your life to “just be easy,” you will get easy, but you will NOT get success. They are two entirely different initiatives. But somehow we forget that. Easy is just that, EASY… it is never better and it will NEVER bring you success.

Success is not for the faint-hearted; its for the few who are extraordinary and who want the best that life has to offer. They are willing to work at it everyday and willing to fail at it everyday in order to get the greatness that they know they deserve. After all, how can you know success if you haven’t first learned to fail? How would you ever appreciate success if you didn’t have to do the work necessary to earn it? You wouldn’t.

Be extraordinary. Do the real HARD WORK to become your own success story – not only in your own life, but in your career and in your key relationships. Don’t be afraid to fail. Failures make you great. Without those failures, you are just living a life of mediocrity – the easy life. Greatness awaits you at the top of the mountain. What are you waiting for? Time to start climbing.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

If You Do Not Like Where You’re Going

… rewrite your story.

After all, it’s YOURS to rewrite.

We all have a story. Our stories define our lives, but we forget that we are the authors of our stories and that we can rewrite our stories whenever we like.

You are never trapped in your story, if you do not like the chapter you find yourself in, rewrite a new ending – one that better fits you, one that better excites you, one that helps you make amends to the past and inspires you towards a better future.

It doesn’t matter where you have found yourself in your story, you can decide in this moment to change it. You are in full control and can change your story on a dime. If your past is harassing you, erase it and rewrite a new history for yourself and in your next moment, it will become your reality. If you do not like how you have shown up for yourself or others, start now and rewrite your role. Be the YOU you want to be and don’t feel imprisoned by the you you’ve been all along.

If you do not like what you are looking at, change it. You have a general script in place which is your destiny/fate. But you were given free will and that gives you the pencil/eraser to change any and all of it whenever you like. You are never bound to your story, you are always free to explore the parameters of your dreams.

What is holding you up? You are the only one keeping yourself stuck in a story that you’ve outgrown. When you decide to allow yourself to be happy, you will rewrite your story and allow yourself the opportunity to live the life you truly want to live, not the life you consequently find yourself living. There is a difference.

You hold the pen, you are the author, if you are unhappy with what is going on in your life, rewrite your story. Your story begins and ends with you. Why would you give anyone else the pen?

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

Putting Up Walls

… keeps you alone.

It doesn’t keep you safe.

When we are fearful, we put up walls. We put up walls to protect ourselves from being hurt – from being judged – from being misunderstood – from being “found out,” etc… Our walls are personas that we create for ourselves and we hide behind them. Sometimes we stay behind them for so long that we forget who we really are behind those walls.

We put walls in place to “protect” ourselves but ironically it does the opposite – it distances us from real connections with others. But in life, you only know who you are in relationship to another human being, so if you are hiding behind a wall, you are not helping yourself to grow and evolve.

Walls keeps us “walled off” from being who we really are because the wall demands that our focus is on the facade, not any deeper. When you define yourself by your wall, it can give you an appearance of not being real, lacking depth or appearing fake and superficial, an “empty shell,” etc…

If you want to be in a real relationship, you have to take your wall down and invite someone into your castle. Taking your wall down demands that you can be vulnerable, genuine and REAL with yourself. Why is it important to be all that? Because the pain of being vulnerable is NOTHING compared to the pain of losing yourself to a wall.

Walls don’t protect you, they keep you locked in a prison of your own creation. Let your guard down and let the walls come down, let the sunshine in. Nobody loves a wall, but they can love the beautiful being inside the wall. If you want to be in a real relationship, let someone into your castle, take down your wall so you can have a true connection. When others see you for who you really are, not the wall you have put up, you become REAL.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

 

Life is a Maze

… and consciousness is your map.

Do you want to succeed through life? Pay attention.

Don’t sleep walk your way through the maze. Every twist and turn has something for you. Every person you meet, every situation you encounter is quite purposefully planted in your path for your growth.

Open your eyes and get to know the terrain. Notice when you have gone down the same corridor and make another choice – don’t get looped into the same trap over and over again. If it looks familiar to you, chances are you’ve been down that path before.

Open your eyes and practice conscious awareness of the path you are on. You are always in charge of the path you take, but if you are not awake and conscious of the choices you are making, the maze will run you in circles.

Pick your head up. Stop running into dead ends. Be more strategic about your life. Learn when certain corridors lead you down darker paths and learn to look for the light.

But at the same time, don’t be afraid to explore and make mistakes. You might think that you know the direction that your path is taking you, but you may not. It may lead you towards a different outcome completely and believe it or not, that outcome would be for your highest good.

Practice consciousness towards your life. Pay attention to what is going on along your path – what are others saying to you and how others are treating you? The seeds of your life lessons are happening every day if you are conscious enough to watch them play out and learn the rules of the engagement. After all, it is the game of your life, and it is a maze which can be successfully navigated by waking up.

Your life is too short to run yourself around in circles. Do you want to be in a better place in your life? Wake up and find the nature of the path you have been following and if you realize that it hasn’t been serving you, it’s time to take another path.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

 

 

Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

… you’ll never win.

Your work is to live YOUR LIFE, no one else’s. It doesn’t matter who has what in their life, it only matters that you focus your energy on what it is you have and what you want to create.

Everything is energy and if you put your energy into obsessing over what you think everyone else has, then you will have less energy to put into your own success. Envying others dilutes your energy and renders you powerless to fulfill your dreams. In other words, comparing yourself to others is guaranteed to make sure you never get what they have.

Put your energy and thoughts back into yourself. Focus on what it is YOU want to create in your life and don’t give anymore of your energy and resources to wishing you were more like someone else or had more of something else. Keep your energy for yourself and channel it into living the life of your dreams, otherwise you will never have it.

Do you want to be happy? Stop comparing yourself to others and give yourself a chance to create the very life you seek.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

Be Careful What You Wish For

… you just might get it.

And do you really want it is the question?

It’s easy to “glamorize” the past and miss what you no longer have, but in reality, if you no longer have it, it is because you are done with it.

When you are in a healthy place in your life and you keep walking forward, you find that what the future brings you is MUCH better than what you left behind. But sometimes we are too focused on looking behind us and getting stuck in the negative energy of the past, so we inadvertently prevent the future from every reaching us. By doing this, we create a painful lull for ourselves which only intensifies our “glamorization of the past.” When the future does not come quick enough, we tend to look back over our shoulder and question the past.

But here’s the deal. If it is in your past, it is there for a reason. If it was meant to be in your present, it would be standing right in front of you and if it is meant to be part of your future, it will find you when it is time.

Be careful what you wish for, it is easy to go back to dysfunctional places for fear that nothing better may come. But that does not help you evolve. If you are conscious, your life is meant to improve as you walk your path forward. Just because you know and recognize what is behind you doesn’t make it right for you. And just because you cannot yet see the future doesn’t mean its NOT there for you. Always look forward, looking behind you will just run you into a tree. Be careful what you wish for… you might just get it and chances are, you really don’t want it anymore.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here. 

Everything Has Its Season

… and then that season is gone.

The seasons of our lives come and go – and that is a good thing.

People come into our lives and then leave. Jobs come into our lives and then leave. Opportunities come into our lives and then leave. Nothing is meant to stay in your life forever. Nothing.

As the seasons change, so do our lives. It is a natural process in our soul’s evolution. You cannot hold onto a season of your life when it is ready to leave your hands. Just like the trees cannot hold onto their late autumn leaves when it is time for them to wither and fall off. When one phase of your life is complete, it is time to enter a new phase and so those old leaves are replaced with new growth in the springtime. It doesn’t behoove you to hold onto the dying leaves, those leaves will not take you into the next season of your life. Those leaves represent an ending and holding onto endings will always leave you feeling stuck, stagnant and as if you are being held back in your life.

Give up those old leaves and give them over to the new growth in your life. Don’t let fear keep you back from completing a cycle in your life. The seasons of our lives are natural cycles that are meant to keep us moving forward in our experiences and our life lessons. Any attempt to fight the natural seasons of our lives will only cause pain and frustration.

Trust the seasons of your life to give you the closure you need to move into a new cycle for yourself. You can’t fight the seasons. They will come whether you or ready for them or not. Learn to trust the seasons of your life to bring you to exactly the next experience you need in your own evolution. After all, nothing is meant to stay the same. Everything is meant to change and you are meant to easily adapt to each new season of your life. After all, your future is ahead of you, never behind you.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynn, click here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coaching, click here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.